by Peter Holleran
PART THREE - SELF-KNOWLEDGE, PROGRESS, AND PURIFICATION
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER ONE
Talking turkey: an introduction to a fresh look at self-introspection; following or not following rules; what to do with desire
CHAPTER TWO
Keeping a diary and related issues; “simran/diary approach versus vipassana”; Three levels of practice; Be not anxious over ones faults; The subconscious reservoir of impressions must be thoroughly drained out before it can be filled by the love of the Lord/Master; Vasanas; Contrition; Faith; Cultural factors; father force/mother force;
CHAPTER THREE
The deepening of the process: purgation, repentance, metanoia
CHAPTER FOUR
When it may not look like progress but it is; Paradoxical and unrecognized progress; Different forms and stages of progress; Don’t compare yourself with others; Even Sawan and Kirpal said that inner experiences are not what it’s all about; Hitting bottom; Awareness of disease is the first step in its cure; abandoning hope of personal attainment
CHAPTER FIVE
Why don’t Masters take you up right away; The first mansion of spirituality is self-knowledge; The chalice must be ready; Patient endurance is the way to enlightenment; There is no failure
CHAPTER SIX
A note on "perfecting" oneself
CHAPTER SEVEN
The self you didn’t want to realize: dark nights of the soul; “How long will you keep that pain within you?”; Buddha’s two arrows; The way of the Cross; The chakras considered as one whole, centered in the Heart; God only asks you to allow Him a free hand to accomplish His work in you
CHAPTER EIGHT
'Down and in', before 'up and out': St. John of the Cross, Babuji Maharaj, Sri Aurobindo on the unwelcome necessity of radical re-wiring and the process of embodiment
CHAPTER NINE
An astrological model of transformation: the Uranus Station; Moving beyond the ego-structure or the ‘Ring-Pass-Not’ of Saturn
CHAPTER TEN
The Promised Land and the desert to be crossed on the way to it are both within us; The path is no joke; Oscillations of experience; Dante’s Inferno: when down is up; Master has many an arrow of love in his quiver; Two kinds of interior peace; Non-dual awakening does not bypass purification but makes it possible; Plani
CHAPTER ELEVEN
SCRUBBING - a deeper walk with the Lord. An intensive discussion on psycho-physical purification by the divine. “And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.” [Mark 2:22 KJV]
CHAPTER TWELVE
Zen Illness: mistaking Illumination for Liberation; Need for grounding: tending the “elixir field” or tanden
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The nuts and bolts of the non-dual view from the Heart's Gaze: The difference between knowledge and love is that knowledge always tries to banish duality but love retains it as a precious treasure and itself remains without duality; There is no such thing as personal salvation, it is selfishness of the worst kind; When a man says that he has seen his internal self, he is still a yogi, but when he says that he has seen the Universe in himself, he has become a knower of Truth; There is no best way; Beware what you pray for; A note on the ego and intelligence; Paradox is inevitable; Ancient errors; All classifications and systemizations are in a certain sense artificial and arbitrary; Integration of experience and understanding;
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
On ‘stories’ and suffering: Types of suffering; "The ego is only the story it constantly tells of itself, the experiences and difficulties it has had, the path it has followed, the wounds it carries. The invitation here is precisely to stop telling the story - Sounds pretty good, right? Except that it is wrong. The root I-thought is a contraction deep in the subconscious. It is not a “story.” It is a knot. Not telling can be a good personal discipline, but telling the story may be better than keeping it inside
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The “besetting sin” or “chief feature” as a potential roadblock to successful self-inquiry and a key finding in self-introspection - but don't take it too seriously
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Some related considerations about the ‘I’-thought, the ego, advaita and the soul
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Self-introspection 2.0+; Watching thoughts or forgetting thoughts; Self-concern or un-self-concern; Practicing self-acceptance, self-forgetting and being in the Now while striving towards the ideal, both for ourselves and the capacity to serve others; Bleaching the coffee with cream instead of just analyzing the grounds; What diary?; Cutting the branches versus cutting the trunk; Why a balanced path is recommended: the three baskets and five-pointed star; Summary of self-introspection
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The value of contemplation and study as a complement to meditation; Contemplation helps our understanding of the various states, rather than just the having of them; it fosters intuition; inspires and cultivates equanimity, balance, and tolerance. Many matters need to be pondered in order to grow in relative wisdom, without a fear-based approach to life and spirituality; Journalling and self-introspection: cultivating two sides of our nature; Balancing the revelation of the dark side with that of the hidden bright creative side of the inner self, re-awakening buried childlike qualities of innocence, expectation of the Good, curiosity and enthusiasm;
Affirmations or the ‘as if’ exercise: creating new logismos or thought forms, or, "as you think, so you become." Not merely “fake it until you make it,” but more like “faking it is making it.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
On the subject of judgementalness; East and West: "What we've got here is a failure to communicate”; Ac-centuate the positive: Are anger, fear, sorrow, depression, lusty thoughts, selfishness, our 'fault' and simply 'wrong'? One voice says, “yes," yet another says, “they are an invitation, through acceptance and compassionate, friendly attention, to free the energy beneath them, and awaken to our true nature as well”; When you accept yourself as you are, then you can change; Much judgementalism arises from posing the hypothetical, i.e., that people 'should' be different; however, if they could be, they would be; A comparative look at judgement and the body in different paths: Four Foundations of Mindfulness in Buddhism and four ‘bodies’ in Sant Mat; There is a hidden YES in everyone
CHAPTER TWENTY
The reality of stages and the need for tolerance
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
TWO SPRITES - HURRY AND WORRY - “The cessation of all worries is the attainment of the supreme truth." - Ramana Maharishi. “Worrying is praying for failure.” - Ishwar Puri
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Cultic speech, behavior, and mind-set: an essential consideration for those any spiritual path; In almost every person, every religion, every group, every teaching, and every teacher, there are ideas, beliefs, and assumptions, which are overtly or covertly not open to question; “Unless you follow me you will go to hell,” “without my practices you will never purify your karma,” “our church is the only way you can repent for your sins,” “my teachings are the one true way to obtain enlightenment; anything else is a fraud,” “I am offering you a direct connection to god and the infinite,” “fate has brought you here; if you squander this opportunity, it will be thousands of lifetimes before you get another chance to wake up”; “Spirituality is a science,” “don’t tell your experiences to others,” “You don’t have to leave your religion,” etc.; Groupthink
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Mental illness and the path; Getting real; Casualties; East versus West, a core difference in articulating a central problem
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ON SUICIDE AND THE SPIRITUAL QUEST - a deep dive into the heart of existential despair; Dark nights of the soul versus psychological problems; Practical steps that may help; When spiritual practice may be part of the problem; Traditional admonitions often given: helpful or harmful; “I will never leave you”; Non-traditional perspectives; No standard punishment, on the other hand karma must be considered; Positive, hopeful views; Terminal illness; Special cases; The story of the Fifth and Sixth Patriarchs; Progression to non-dual realization and beyond; Final words of hope
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
A few juicy stories: “When we have a sharing of stories in Satsang, there is a lot of exaggeration, and creeping distortion is evident. Those with the juiciest stories are the worst! The same story the second time around is usually recolored and embellished to glorify the teller and the Master at the same time. Often the telling of a story is a big ego download with someone feeling special, and not serving the awakening process in anyone”; Pre-incarnational planning and the uniqueness of our experiences; “Communications that are truly from God have this trait: They simultaneously exalt and humble the soul. For on this road, to descend is to ascend and to ascend is to descend, since those who humble themselves are exalted and those who exalt themselves are humbled…Accordingly, the Wise Man’s words are fulfilled: Before the soul is exalted, it is humbled, and before it is humbled, it is exalted”; Five stories; Comments on the nature of visions
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
RAIN - “The child cries and the mother comes to give him something to eat and again goes away. Again he cries until nothing satisfies him but the mother taking him in her arms. When you want nothing else Other than Him, He comes. Just as mothers always have pity, grace for the child, so it is with Master's Love. With His little thought, you weep like anything. Do you follow?”; The spiritual value of tears; Ryokan and Father Maximos, two stories; Mysteries of tears; Tears and samadhi
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Moving towards an emergent global spirituality
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Cognitive dissonance #1
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
What comes out of your mouth is more important than what goes into it: considerations on diet and ethics; Varied diets among sages; What about the Eskimos - can they become initiates?; The Issue of eggs: nutrition; pasture-raised; what’s best for chickens as a species; fertile/infertile; Birth - Ego - Person; The garden of Eden or the cave; Animal husbandry and nutrition; Sattvic/unsattvic; Health issues never faced by Kabir or Nanak; Prophet Mohammed’s advice; Cain, the first self-righteous vegetarian; The full moral implications; The Hindu theory of the five elements and the minimizing of dietary karmas: is it partly fear-based?; OMG! Guru Nanak and the Sikh Gurus ate meat; Sikhism or Kabir - the roots of modern Sant Mat, and their influence on vegetarianism; Is even breathing a sin?; Wine!; The role of intuition; True Guru; Graduation
PART THREE - SELF-KNOWLEDGE, PROGRESS, AND PURIFICATION
“Satguru is ever-present, never think He is far away." - Sikh hymn
“How do you know that you have realized unless you watch your thoughts and feelings, words and actions and wonder at the changes occurring in you without your knowing why and how?” - Sri Nisargadatta
“And easily recognizing the imperfection that presents itself, they grow conscious of the spiritual light they posses” - St. John of the Cross
“Someone ought to do it, so why should I? Someone ought to do it, so why not ? Between these two sentences lie whole centuries of moral evolution.” - Annie Besant
"See all men and women according to the Holy Ghost that is within them; always remember that the outer picture is still being worked on." - Paul Brunton (Notebooks, Vol. 12, Part 2, 3.60)
"Why do you say you are a sinner? Your trust in God is sufficient to save you from rebirths. Cast all burden onto Him. - Ramana Maharshi
Note: As spiritual growth is not an assembly-line or cookie-cutter process, any references to practices and exercises here and elsewhere in this book are only suggestive and need to be considered in the context of ones innate disposition, basic nature, psychological type, developmental background, years spent on inner work and spiritual pursuits, as well as physical age in years. If one is 80 or more years old, for instance, the emphasis will not be on diverse and complex personal disciplines! Rather, the time, now fleeting, has arrived to come home and for a simple surrender Into the heart of the Mystery. This has been humorously called, "circling the drain, end of life practice"! For those young in years and just starting out, other considerations, disciplines and such have proven useful and appropriate. This might seem only obvious, but amazingly it is not always so when forms of spiritual cultism creep in. Therefore, let not your heart be troubled, but read on with discrimination and curiosity.
CHAPTER ONE
Talking turkey: an introduction to a fresh look at self-introspection; following or not following rules; what to do with desire
This is an area that needs some wisdom. It was written based on the evolving needs and experiences of the writer, as well as concerns and questions from many others over the course of the last forty years or so. If one is satisfied with the way things are and find it working for him or her, well and wonderful. Otherwise, it is hoped that something of benefit to consider may be found herein. No disrespect is meant to anyone, nor is there any intent to sow seeds of confusion. The section on the keeping of a diary pertains mostly to those following the Kirpal-Darshan-Rajinder lineage, as so far as I am aware this requirement is not found on other Sant Mat lineages, such as Charan-Gurinder, Babuji, or Faqir Chand. Much of the discussion, however, remains pertinent to the important topic of self-introspection.
As in most traditional paths in their beginning stages, a basic set of rules is in place for general guidance, in the best interests of the disciple. Rules and regulations are foundational in all paths and meant to initially lead one away one's personal will and inclinations towards basic righteous living. Beginners usually want these structures, although some do not. They are not ends in themselves, but guidelines which if followed will eventually lead to an influx of grace, due to a gradual change of heart in the disciple - a metanoia - followed by the gifts of the spirit, such as forbearance, gentleness, faithfulness, goodness, kindness, patience, peace, joy, and love. These follow from obedience to a will greater than oneself. Even blind obedience will eventually bring in grace that will lead one to a higher understanding. The danger of simply relying on rules and regulations forever is that one may not come to rely on himself. And the danger of not relying on rules and regulations is that one will only be relying on himself! There is a fine line between the development of intelligence and self-surrender. As the Dalai Lama once said, "first we learn the rules so we know how to break them wisely."
Desire, historically, on both eastern and western paths has been something to be simply stamped out or avoided. Done to the extreme, however, before a certain amount of life experience has been gained, this may actually damage a person’s development, and hinder his growth towards self-knowledge. Sri Nisargadatta said:
“Increase and widen your desires till nothing but reality can fulfill them. It is not desire that is wrong, but its narrowness and smallness. Desire is devotion. By all means be devoted to the real, the infinite, the eternal heart of being. Transform desire into love. All you want is to be happy. All your desires, whatever they are, are expressions of your longing for happiness. Basically, you wish yourself well. Desire by itself is not wrong. It is life itself, the urge to grow in knowledge and experience...After all, what do you really want? Not perfection, you are already perfect. What you seek is to express in action what you are...Don't pretend to be what you are not, don't refuse to be what you are."
And:
“Weak desires can be removed by introspection and meditation, but strong desires, deeply-rooted one’s must be fulfilled and their fruits, sweet or bitter, tasted.” (1)
This form of understanding underlies much of the discussion that follows: how to (1) fulfill obedience to the teacher and his wisdom-teaching, (2) lead a righteous life, (3) respect oneself, and (4) avoid a cultic response which has limited value and also turns people away from the path. As always, all opinions are those of the author. Take what is useful for you and leave the rest. The main purpose in this entire series is to offer perspective and save people precious time in coming to a workable understanding of the subjects discussed, instead of meandering in vague doubts and confusion over unanswered questions.
CHAPTER TWO
Keeping a diary and related issues; “simran/diary approach versus vipassana”; Three levels of practice; Be not anxious over ones faults; The subconscious reservoir of impressions must be thoroughly drained out before it can be filled by the love of the Lord/Master; Vasanas; Contrition; Faith; Cultural factors; father force/mother force
The central 'koan' in regards to self-introspection and the leading of a basically sane and harmonious life, may be summarized as something like this:
"There are periods devoted to learning detachment and then periods devoted to transcending avoidance. Each has its temptations and attractions." - David Hawkins (2)
The earlier historical spiritual paths leaned towards the former, while emerging paths are leaning towards the latter. And even as traditional paths move in that same direction, the languaging of the teachings have largely not kept up with the changing needs and understanding. Yet, as stages of development and diversity of circumstances necessity come into play,
"The same course of action may actually have very different meanings and consequences in different individuals at different times and circumstances...The real question is, 'Who is the real 'you' that decides?" (3)
This is the heart of the matter, is it not? For there is only so far one can go in following all of the rules until they no longer serve their primary purpose, and one is forced back onto his own resources to be in accord with the Tao, i.e.,, to "do the right thing" according to the Heart's own rule. So let us plunge ahead.
In the path of Sant Mat, vegetarianism is usually advocated to reduce karmic accrual from the killing of higher forms of life. Restraint but not suppression of sex impulses is advised to conserve the subtle power of ojas, as well as to restrain the outflow of the spirit-current and attention for higher pursuits for both male and female. In addition, a diary form was initiated by Sant Kirpal Singh - after studying the lives of over three hundred saints and great men and finding that invariably they all kept a diary or journal - and has been continued in that lineage (I am not aware if anything similar is advocated in other lineages) - with columns for daily failures in thought, word, and deed, in the categories of truthfulness, non-violence, selfless service, love for all, and chastity, as well as amount of time put in for meditation. The purpose of the diary was for self-introspection, and, without bewailing oneself too much as a sinner, recognizing one's faults and 'weeding them out.' Many these days will find self-introspection a double-bind to an extent, arguing things like there is no 'separate self' to do anything, wherefore a diary will only reinforce that separate self. From one perspective - a relatively advanced one - this is very true, while in a more practical one, it can be an invitation for a rude awakening. The problem is that someone may have had a glimpse of 'no separate self' and then imagine he is active at that level all the time. If one is not really there, and maybe even if he is, he must respect the laws of cause and effect. This in fact is necessary for quite some time on the path. For the Tibetans, in fact, respect for the 'two laws' - absolute and relative - is essentially just about as long as there is breath.
While at Sawan Ashram years ago, however, one advanced initiate (who acknowledged in my presence and that of others, at the Master's explicit request, to have been to Sach Khand upon her initiation), told me that the diary form was the first thing she tossed into the garbage can. Another initiate later told me that he was advised by Darshan Singh to forget about the diary. These instances might make one take notice. Bear in mind, that this is not general advice for anybody, just some observation. Obedience to one's Master, once one has faith and trust, has long been an important rule of sadhana. Some have come to feel, however, often over many years, and this is only an opinion, that for them a different approach, perhaps a vipassana or mindfulness style, might be more fruitful and "conscious" than, as one western initiate put it, the "Simran / diary approach":
"What I like and find myself interested in is the paying attention to one's own responses within to any given situation. For example if I feel myself beginning to get irritated or angry with somebody. I like the idea and hope to employ this method to learn to recognize this arising as it is arising within me. Rather than adopting the simran model of suppressing the anger, of shoving it down or afterwards marking off on a diary that I got angry today...I'd much prefer to just develop that ability to pay greater attention and then find healthier ways by which to defuse any anger...to learn from it and then let it go."
Of course, there is no reason one could not do both of these, simultaneously or in an alternating rhythm as feels appropriate, such as cultivating a mindful attitude and also having some form of remembrance at the end of the day. But the point is well-taken that the practice of self-introspection needs to become a living thing to be of the most personal value. And there is only so much time in a day. If one notes each lapse when as they occur, is it valuable to go over them all again at night? Perhaps one or two may be insistent, but every one? This is something a person must judge for himself.
As for the “vipassana approach”, Papaji with his staunch advaita pressed this one step further, advising one not to get stuck in vipassana, but question “Who is doing the vipassana?” This of course is fine, and a separate discipline, if one is ready for that, but we are not here advising a single tack on this issue.
Again, this is not an attempt to offer my experience or that of others as examples of what any particular person should do, only to point out how some have looked at the matter. The strong sense is that at some point one is supposed to move beyond the state of a beginner and to exercise his native intelligence. This is also essentially the Dzogchen understanding, which recognizes several natural levels. For instance, Namkhai Norbu writes:
"In Dzogchen, the way of behaving is the key to the practice, not because there are fixed rules as to what one should and should not do, but because the principle is that one must learn to become responsible for oneself, working with one's own awareness. It is important, in Dzogchen, to know exactly where one is aiming to arrive, but at the same time one must not ignore one's own capacity. If one discovers that one's own capacity is not sufficient to enable one to live with awareness, then it would be better to follow some rules until one's awareness is more developed. If, for example, I like to drink but I know that alcohol is bad for me, then I can simply try to stop drinking. But if, as soon as I see a bottle of alcohol, I experienced such a strong desire to drink that I can't control myself, this means that I need to a precise rule to follow to govern that situation. To recognize this is also part of our awareness. Dzogchen is said to be a teaching for those with a higher level of capacity. This higher capacity means that one has those qualities that are necessary to enable one to understand and apply the teaching." (4)
He is suggesting then that there are three basic levels of both 'presence' and practice. At first one may need formulaic restrictions to avoid negative karmas or create positive karmas, but the next stage is to allow the cultivation of intuitive wisdom/discrimination, and for that some freedom is required. One may make some mistakes but it is all part of finding oneself and learning how to use ones energy wisely and creatively. The third, most advanced stage is non-dual awareness or rigpa, where intuitive wisdom/discrimination continues to arise but one is no longer identified with it, nor does one perceive it as arising as an expression of our need to improve, fix, or change anything. Yet it still arises. So outwardly we might continue to be perceived by others as engaging in discriminating awareness and choice, and in a certain sense this is true, but to our inner state of realization we no longer perceive it that way. Naturally, this is a very high and difficult stage to integrate.
Just prior to this level, or while this level of non-judgmental awareness is stabilizing, one exercises what might be termed a 'sattvic' level of judging, in which notions of right and wrong are chiefly supplanted by the consideration of what serves one's practice of transcending binding dualism, i.e., samsara, and/or what serves the greater whole. This is a form of judging, but of the higher type. Most of the time, however, one practices remaining in a state of non-judgmental awareness of all that arises. And if one stops having judgements and opinions of the feelings, images, and thoughts that arise within consciousness, then how also can one keep score of his failures? One remembers the Third Patriarch of Zen, Seng T'san, in his famous poem, "the Perfect way is clear; do not seek after truth, only cease having views." At this stage one realizes that he really is not responsible for every thought that passes through his mind, and he merely witnesses them. This can be a form of meditation (vipassanna), but we are not talking hereabout meditation, rather a disposition in everyday life.
But there is a stage of practice where noting faults and striving to correct them has its place. In the beginning stages we need to practice becoming more aware of the thoughts and feelings that pass through our consciousness, in order to develop the presence of mind to either ignore or transform the negative, often reactive impulses coming unsought from our own subconscious, and the collective mind around us, and instead learn to emphasize the positive thoughts and feelings of the ideal we are striving for. We must take note of and responsibility for our faults, while also striving towards an ideal. In this way the very 'molecular' structure of our subtle bodies gets changed, with the denser molecules gradually getting filtered out through lack of reinforcement, and supplanted by a higher vibratory type. In this way we grow in consciousness. So self-introspection and self-awareness are very important. It is not that specific forms of practice are wrong, only that they are not supposed to last forever in their initial form, and a time will naturally come when other approaches become necessary. There is also the question of whether the specific diary form is of real use in supporting this essentially moment to moment discipline.
One thing that is not always kept in mind when filling out a particular diary form is that it is meant to be done without feeling negative or depressed about what is revealed! Shame and guilt over succumbing to a desire are optional, and unnecessary added stress. To a certain degree, and at certain times, this may be nearly impossible, and 'compunction' and a feeling of abjection as it arises is surely an expected part of many spiritual paths. But the negative reactions to it are to be surrendered in the process; that is part of our devotion. Here is what deCaussade wrote about this to one of the nuns under his guidance:
"When the reproaches of your conscience, however well merited they may be, throw you into a state of trouble and depression; when they discourage and upset you, it is certain that they come from the devil who only fishes in troubled waters, says St. Francis of Sales." (5)
Madame Guyon similarly wrote
“But one thing you must be very careful about: Always guard yourself from being anxious because of your faults...Your distress really springs from a secret root of pride. What you are experiencing is, in fact, a love of your own worth. To put it in other words, you are simply hurt and upset at seeing what you really are. If the Lord should be so merciful as to give you a true spirit of His humility, you will not be surprised at your faults, your failures, or even your own basic nature. The more clearly you see your true self, the clearer you also see how miserable your self-nature really is; and the more you will abandon your whole being to God.” (6)
It must also be considered a really important indicator of 'progress,' in the beginning at least, when we notice our faults more and more acutely. And even greater progress when we are no longer surprised or distressed about it. Sant Kirpal often used to say how the number of faults will appear to be increasing over time; it is very important to note that this does not mean we are getting worse! On the contrary, the light of God is penetrating deeper into our subconscious. It will be uncomfortable for a while - in some cases, for a long while - but eventually it will burn brighter and brighter and more purely. Paradoxically at a later stage of the path one will pay less and less attention to the point of disregarding ones thoughts, failings, and self, regarding them (on a devotional path) henceforth as God’s responsibility.
"As you go into it, you will find a greater number of shortcomings, and further, the angle of vision is changed. This causes the shortcomings to become still more numerous. If they grow in number, it means you are progressing." - Kirpal Singh
St. John of the Cross states this another way, from the point of view of the active purifying Master Power itself:
“In this same way we have to philosophize with respect to this Divine fire of contemplative love, which, before it unites and transforms the soul in itself, first purges it of all its contrary accidents. It drives out its unsightliness, and makes it black and dark, so that it seems worse than before and more unsightly and abominable than it was wont to be. For this Divine purgation is removing all the evil and vicious humours which the soul has never perceived because they have been so deeply rooted and grounded in it; it has never realized, in fact, that it had so much evil within itself. But now that they are to be driven forth and annihilated, these humours reveal themselves, and become visible to the soul because it is so brightly illumined by this dark light of Divine contemplation (although it is no worse than before, either in itself or in relation to God)." (7)
An analogy is sometimes given of the spiritual process, by St. John and others, being like the action of fire on a pile of wet wood. At first the fire is used in drying out the wood, which makes a dark, steamy mess, crackling and hissing, giving off smoke, then blackening it, before it penetrates deep enough to cause the wood to burn clean and pure and giving off bright light. deCaussade writes:
"You seem to me to become ever more deeply convinced of your miseries and imperfections. Now that happens only in proportion to our nearness to God, and to the light in which we live and walk, without any consideration of our own. This divine light as it shines more brightly makes us see better and feel more keenly the abyss of misery and corruption within us, and this knowledge is one of the surest signs of progress in the ways of God and the spiritual life. You ought to think rather more of this, not to pride yourself on it, but to be grateful for it."
And further, as the general process of self-inspection progresses, he begins to see his entire life in another light:
“You attribute to your wickedness the recollections of the past which fill you with horror of yourself; but it is as clear as day that this is one if the most salutary impressions that grace can produce in you; there is, in fact, nothing better calculated to sanctify you than this holy hatred of yourself occasioned by these recollections, and the deep humiliation in which they keep you before God. These feelings are given you suddenly when you least expect them or are thinking of them, to make you understand that they are an effect of grace. “But why used you formerly to experience exactly contrary feelings when recalling the past?” It is because formerly you would not have been able to endure the sight of your imperfections without great despondency. It was necessary then that hope should predominate in you, but now you require a holy horror of yourself which is a true change of heart. When God gives you these feelings, receive them quietly and with gratitude and thanksgiving, and allow them to pass away when God pleases, abandoning yourself entirely to all He wishes to effect in you, and do not attach yourself to any of the interior conditions in which He places you, not regret any of which He deprived you.” (8)
The subconscious reservoir of impressions must be thoroughly drained out before it can be filled by the love of the Lord/Master
No doubt, it is a real challenge to be able to face ones shadow side without falling into a pit of despond. Nevertheless, it begins and assists a process of self-purification only the Master can complete. And where is it leading? This is one aspect of this path that, in my humble opinion, gets short shrift in the published and public teachings. Kirpal said, "the subconscious reservoir of impressions must be thoroughly be drained out before it can be filled with love of the Lord/Master." Do many of us have any real idea what that means and entails? We look for a painless scorching of our binding vasanas through a super-conscious dip in the pool of Manasarovar on the third inner plane, not a difficult sacred ordeal of the heart here in this world. Don't we? Whether that is possible or not, I do not know, but sense it is a final polishing on a thorough house-cleaning. But one more quote, from deCaussade, to put this in perspective:
"The extent to which the soul is purified in its most secret recesses, is the measure of its union with the God of all holiness."
Nothing more - and nothing less. "It is easy to become God, but difficult to become a man," said Kirpal Singh. For the former, "a few minutes of the Master's grace, and then?" may be all that is required; for the latter, God knows what one may have to endure.
And to me, this may be one of the reasons the Sants have generally told their disciples not to reveal their inner experiences to others. For one, they are individual to us and meaningful chiefly to us; and second, someone with a high experience may not be as far along on the path as someone with none at all! This may surprise many initiates but has been recorded many times in the annals of mystical history.
Ramana Maharshi said that vasanas are stored near the heart, as tendencies that must be exposed in life, our habitual reactions transcended by seeing and releasing them - often after experiencing their attendant suffering. This is what most deep inner traditions in fact teach. They don’t call it “tapas” or “heat” for nothing.
That is what I believe Kirpal meant when he said, “the subconscious reservoir of impressions must be thoroughly drained out before it can be filled by the love of the Lord/Master.” This potent statement, however, is also not totally true or complete, in my opinion, in the sense that the subconscious cannot and need not be “completely drained out,” and is not all bad either, being a source of creativity as well, but need only be cleansed of its most compulsive vasanas sufficiently for the soul’s purposes. The soul's purposes means enough purification to be rid of major hindrances to realization, or ascension if one wants to look at it that way. Sages have suggested that this purification cannot be done on the inner planes, except through immensely longer periods of time. Earth-life is the battlefield, or perhaps better said, we are the battlefield. In astrology, this would be indicated by such things as fixed squares in the chart. I think we know having lived long enough what our “numbers” are.
By the way, besides the emotive purging, there is a mental or gyan side to this principle of eliminating reactive patterning. Truth (sacca) must permeate every aspect of our life if Truth (Sat) be our goal. And the way to truth is not in seeking it but firstly in seeing the false as false. Sri Nisargadatta explains:
"Truth does not assert itself, it is in the seeing of the false as false. and rejecting it. It is useless to search for truth, when the mind is blind to the false. It must be purged of the false completely before truth can dawn on it." (9)
To modify the recommendations of a master is a matter, certainly in the beginning, between the student and his master. That of course assumes the master is accessible, which may not be the case in big sanghas. Later, if not sooner, it could be said to become more a matter of ones own wisdom and understanding.
When there is one-to-one contact, very often the instruction given a disciple of student will and must vary. Irena Tweedie writes:
“No two Shisyas [disciples] are treated alike, human beings are unique, and the Guru, if he is a Sat Guru and knows his job, will treat them according to their possibilities, their character, and past conditioning. The teaching is given according to the time, the place, and the state of evolution of the Shisya...For the Roads to God are as many as human beings, as many as the breathes of the children of men, says a Sufi poet.” (10)
In the beginning the instruction may be the same, but as one develops it is more and more likely for it to be modified to suit the needs of the student.
It might also be mentioned that the use of the diary on this branch of Sant Mat is sometimes - but not always - explained today in somewhat softer and psychologically less repressive terms than in previous years, and as something the initiate is supposed to approach intelligently and not to beat himself up with. However, the form is the same as it has been for fifty years now, and its very nature with check marks and columns for every flaw of human character can almost guarantees that this will happen. Which may still be a learning experience. But for many of us in the West, who have been knocking ourselves on the head for so long, and trying so hard to be 'good enough' or 'perfect', exercising extreme willfulness to 'transcend our humanness', the relaxation of such an egoic struggle may be long overdue - and actually an option offered by the masters, if only one would believe or allow it. However, for some, depending on their place on the learning curve, a long battle with the ego may not at the outset be an entirely inappropriate expectation. Although, better than ignoring, feeling guilty over, or struggling against, any failings of character, is to be attentively aware of one's tendencies, which will give one strength to act or react differently over time. As for myself, I have had a naturally introspective mind, and my 'failings' and thought patterns were always on my mind, so recalling every so-called lacuna at night was more unproductive than not, but I had to learn this the hard way. Others without such introspection, it may be argued, may have to start somewhere, and such a method has some value. For certain, one must start with a commitment to spiritual values, and a rigorous self-examination. Sant Kirpal used to say, again and again, "don't spare yourself", and he is joined by many traditional teachers, including Elder Paissos from Mount Athos:
"The leader moved in another spiritual world. He judged his own deeds differently than he judged those of others. For everyone else, he would always find extenuating circumstances, but when it came to himself he was quite strict. "It's evidence that a person's spiritual life is genuine, if he's very strict with himself and very lenient with other people...When the saints said they were sinners, they meant it. Their spiritual eyes had turned into microscopes, and they saw even their tiniest errors as great ones." (11)
Brunton spoke more psychologically of the need to be wary of the wiles of the ego as a foundation discipline for the path:
"He must thrust aside the unsatisfactory common habits - often unconscious but sometimes willful ones - of overlooking mistakes, exaggerating difficulties, evading problems, excusing selfishnesses, explaining away failures, rationalizing evil conduct by shifting responsibility for his own shortcomings through blaming other people." (12)
This means confusing Norbu's above-mentioned stage three with stage one, i.e., rationalizing a pseudo-advaita or pseudo-Dzogchen viewpoint such as "there is nothing to do and no one to do it", before such practice and direct contemplation of consciousness is really true of you.
The reason is that chronic and long-ingrained habits of thought, feeling, and action are largely what constitutes, or are part and parcel of the very identity of, the false self or 'I'. Therefore they must really be seen and undone; simply trying to get at the root through some form of inquiry will often fail because the energy needed for inquiry will be sapped by one's faults.
Non-reaction, non-dramatization, positive substitution, and self-introspection regarding such complexes and tendencies is generally acknowledged as a major life sadhana that compliments meditative practices. To ignore them solely in favor of meditation leaves the lower nature untransformed when one is out of meditation, not inquiring "who am I?", or whatever, and is a major impediment to real and lasting growth.
"These thought [as well as feelings, actions, and reactions]< have become by constant repetition, long-standing and deep-rooted. That is to say, they have become inherent tendencies and governing complexes of the man's character. He himself seldom realizes how much and how often he is at their mercy." (13)
So such a practice, at least in the early stages, is inevitable and usually cannot be avoided. The liability with being strict with oneself as an unbending approach, however, can be the activation of the super-ego function, or simply, reinforcement of the ego, however subtle, that can itself be soul-crushing, 'self'-reinforcing, and counter-productive at a certain stage, the timing which of course varies from individual to individual. To some extent humanity is collectively getting more aware and sophisticated psychologically and may find such a methodology problematic. Now, some will not without some justification think that to say "lighten up a bit" is dangerous advice, while others - perhaps those who have struggled with themselves for years - may naturally welcome it as a counter-balance. It does, of course, assume a basic moral sense and discrimination is in place. This is often under-emphasized.
So the attitude of 'don't spare yourself', and an appreciative 'horror at one's sins', comes inevitably, perhaps, at some stage. It is not that one assumes this attitude, but rather that grace may force it upon one, sooner or later when one is able to tolerate it! Fenelon writes:
"Your attribute to your wickedness the recollections of the past which fill you with horror of yourself, but it is as clear as day that this is one of the most salutary impressions that grace can produce in you. There is, in fact, nothing better calculated to sanctify you than this holy hatred of yourself occasioned by these recollections, and the deep humiliation in which they keep you before God. These feelings are given you suddenly when you least expect them or are thinking of them, to make you understand that they are an effect of grace. "But why used you formerly to experience exactly contrary feelings when recalling the past?" It is because formerly you would not have been able to endure the sight of your imperfections without great despondency. It was necessary then that hope should predominate in you, but now you require a holy horror of yourself which is a true change of heart when God gives you these feelings; receive them quietly and with gratitude and thanksgiving." (14)
Likewise Brunton writes:
"The man who has the courage to be his own bitterest critic, who has the balance to do so without falling into paralyzing depression as a result, who uses his self-analysis so constructively that every shortcoming is the object of constant remedial attention - he is the man who is preparing a way for the advent of Grace." (15)
One can see there is a kind of dance here: for some characters, depending on their background, upbringing and/or adaptation, and particular stage of practise, it may be of more immediate importance to be gentle with themselves than to aggressively 'not spare themselves.' And for most of us, a mixture of the two may at times apply.
And there is also this to consider, from deCaussade:
“Interior reproach about the slightest faults are an evident sign of the especial care taken by the Holy Spirit for your advancement. With certain souls He allows nothing to escape notice, and about them He has a most fastidious jealousy; and it is a sure truth that souls which are the objects of this jealousy, cannot, without infidelity, allow themselves to do what other persons can do without imperfection. The fastidiousness and jealousy of divine love are more or less great according to the degree of its predilection. Consider if you have any occasion to pity yourself about the merciful rigor it uses towards you.” (16)
Besides self-introspection, contemplation, and meditation, the reality is that active endurance of pain and discomfort, when and if God or Guru begins to take a deeper role in eradicating one’s vasanas or ingrained and habitual reactivity, is of utmost importance. There is only so much the ego can do, a descent of grace is imperative for the work to proceed to completion. And when this happens it is helpful to realize that one is not being abandoned by God when the grace takes a form not to one’s liking. The path is an ordeal, and not a one-two-three step plan to enlightenment. Bernadette Roberts writes:
“I realize that no contemplative path wants to advertise the cross or the suffering entailed in the crossing over. On the other hand we must not be naive about this or in any way mislead others. The truth is that getting to the other shore will stretch the human limits to the breaking point, and not once, but again and again. Who can take it? It is not for nothing that the cross is the central Christian symbol." (17)
It is also important at such times to be true to where one is at and not create internal conflict by attempting to assume an attitude of a higher stage even if one understands its truthfulness and inevitability. For example, beating oneself up for not being in a non-dual state when your soul feels like crying out to a God you may conceptually no longer believe in ! St. John writes of a soul being in such a state of metanoia being acutely
“..conscious of a true determination and power to do nothing they recognize as an offense against God and to omit nothing that seems to be for his service. That dark love enkindles in the soul a remarkably vigilant care and interior solicitude about what to do or omit in order to please God. They will ponder whether they have angered God and go over this in their minds a thousand times. They do this with much greater care. And solicitude than before…In this dark contemplation the soul’s appetites, strength, and faculties are withdrawn from all other things and its efforts and strength are expended only in paying homage to God.” (18)
This may be a stage, but trust that the Heart knows what is what and have no worries about where it will end up. That growth in conscious awareness and cultivation of virtue go hand in hand is essentially what is being said here.
All right. Self-introspection giving one an awareness of chronic thought patterns is important, but on the other hand we do have Sri Ramakrishna once remarking that "it has been said that in the Kali Yuga mental sin is no sin." His words at the time were, it is suggested, directed to young men full of hormones, in the attempt to ease their conscience about the automatic thoughts arising in their minds, somewhat akin to hearing Christ's words about "having lust in one's heart is the same as committing fornication itself," and that instead of guilt they should just repeat the name of the Lord and things would eventually even themselves out. Ramana Maharshi expressed a similar attitude when he once said (to someone in particular), "it is better to do it than to always be thinking about it." However, to complete the picture it must be said that these teachers more often expressed quite the opposite, warning about the danger of "adding fuel to a fire in the futile hopes of putting it out! Some people these days will feel that either of these positions reflect an antiquated life-negative attitude; this is, of course, an arguable point. Maybe sometimes they do and sometimes they don't.
Kirpal had made the diary form one of negative marking of faults in thought, word, and deed. Obviously, deed is the most important of the three, and one over which we have the most control. For some, it appears, the category of thought can become an excessive worry. We often berate ourselves too much.
But, the direct feedback mechanism of this particular form of diary and the teacher, moreover, no longer exists for new initiates. Kirpal used to read them every three months, even more frequently in the beginning of his mission, and write back personalized recommendations to each disciple:
"You should always come to the Master for guidance. Don't look to others. People used to bring their difficulties to me. Now they ask this person and that person. The person who asks another loses and the one who comes between loses. No one should come between you and the Master...You are not saints yet. You are all sick. So you should not seek the help of the other patients. Come to me if you have any life or death problems, or any spiritual difficulty. Are you afraid to come?" (19)
This was simply not possible for westerners, and now, due to the hundreds of thousands of initiates today, for better or for worse, this level of intimacy and feedback is no longer or only rarely possible. So one is more or less forced to become intelligent. In that respect, 'bad' is not always 'bad', and 'good' is not always 'good'. Without our imperfections there would be no chance at perfection. Without darkness, would we ever know light? Ramakrishna, for instance, used to say to his close disciples that if he were to remove their lust "they would find life insipid", and likewise Paramhansa Yogananda said that one "would feel like he was losing his best friend." So real transmutation or transformation of passions is what is desired (no pun intended), and what Nature in fact is now demanding. It is all essentially a matter of growing and learning and evolution out of dualistic suffering. It is true when it has been said that a sign of a wise man is he who can learn from the mistakes of other's, but it does not always work that way. There is a limit on how smart we can become without actually getting in the fray and trying things for ourself. One way of putting this is the following: Socrates is famous for saying, "the unexamined life is not worth living." Yet it can also truly be said that "the unlived life is not worth examining." One can certainly for a time achieve a degree of sublimation through forms of spiritual practice, but that is not the same as real transformation. This doesn't mean to imply blind, or not so blind, indulgence, but rather that 'the inner must become as the outer', or else, outside of contemplation and its support, we are left with nothing but a mass of confusion and craziness. The 'old man' is still there. Put another way, there is an uninspected notion, commonly taught to beginners on this path - and not without a traditional stage-specific logic and justification - that one should and can abandon one's faults (i.e., lust, greed, anger, etc.) by, and only by virtue of, attaching to the inner bliss, a process which appears to work as long as the contact is maintained. But when it fades, which inevitably happens, the untransformed lower nature left behind in an isolated quest for purity begs for attention, often with a vengeance. And then there is a process of fire, or tapas. All may not be called to such a complete transformation in this lifetime, to be so 'doubly purified' - of both worldly and spiritual consolation - some may be content and entirely within their own inherent perfection to remain simple mystics, if that is the divine will for this life. But if one is so called by his own inner need, understand what is occuring. Read Evelyn Underhill's classic work, Mysticism, and "The Deeper Meanings of the Dark Night of the Soul" (The book, or at http://www.mountainrunnerdoc.citymaker.com/page/page/1523597.htm). These will give a broad-based traditional perspective on the oscillations of consciousness clarifying itself. As a fellow seeker once said to me regarding one's approach to discipline and practice, "some people need to get a lot better, and some need to get a lot worse." That is, in essence, some try too hard, use too much self-effort, and do not give the Lord a chance to do some of the difficult work of revealing and healing hidden wounds and deficiencies. Thoreau succinctly said that, 'it was not so much his business to seek the Spirit, but Spirit's business to seek him.' Sri Ramakrishna emphatically stated:
"He who has faith has everything, and he who lacks faith lacks everything. It is faith in the name of the Lord that works wonders; faith is life and doubt is death...Have faith. Depend on God. Then you will not have to do anything for yourself...God Himself will think about your morrow if you completely surrender yourself to Him. You can exert force on Him." (20)
Kirpal similarly spoke to this latter point:
"If you wish to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca, it is best to go through the water and not the dry desert sands. The dry sand is the way of the intellect, while the water is the flow of your tears. That is the best way to meet Him. Through weeping and wailing in the love of God or of your Master, you will meet Him very fast. Without weeping and wailing, no one has met God. God Almighty is controlled by the true devotee." (21)
St. Seraphim of Sarov is said to have sat on a rock and cried bitterly for three years over his sinful nature, imploring God for mercy. In his case this was not just ignorant, self-pity, but true repentance of the broken heart. [We will talk later on how Masters say the opposite as well - how weeping and wailing do not help (!), but for now, let it be said that one could do far worse than to shed buckets of tears. Most of the great ones have done it. The Jesus Prayer or Prayer of the Heart ("Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me") has led thousands to a deeper spiritual life. How foolish to call it a silly 'dualistic' practice only used by those not intelligent enough to grasp advaita vedanta! [not real advaita vedanta, of course, but some of its popular modern variants]. Perhaps those who talk like this are those who do not understand the nature of man and the meaning of divine mercy.
And PB also reminds us about faith:
"The Overself is with him here and now. It has never left him at anytime. It sits everlastingly in the heart. It is indeed his innermost being, his truest self. Were it something different and apart from him, were it a thing to be gained and added to what he already is or has, he would stand the risk of losing it again. For whatever may be added to him may also be subtracted from him. Therefore, the real task of this quest is less to seek anxiously to possess it than to become aware that it already and always possesses him." (22)
At the appropriate point it becomes obvious that one can not rush the process towards enlightenment, or else he will prevent the learning of the most important lesson of all, that he needs to forget himself in order to free himself. So one slowly learns non-judgement.
On the other hand, some have the opposite problem (!), and may need self-introspection and self-effort to a higher degree than others. As Kirpal liked to say, "God helps them who help themselves, and God helps those who do not help themselves." In the final analysis, there simply can be no adequate mass instruction or strict guidelines. And as PB also wrote:
"It is the mark of a well-qualified teacher that he adapts his advice to fit each disciple individually. If everyone is recommended to practice the same method irrespective of competence, his personal history and temperament, his grade of development or capacity, his character-traits and tendencies, in a number of cases it will be largely ineffectual." (23
Kirpal Singh, my heart master, for instance, was by profession into accounting, and also had a personal preference for the Pythagorean recall method as well as the Pelman Memory system. Combining these three resulted, in his human personality, as a penchant for remembering every thought, word, and deed of the entire day, making lists of figures, as well as meeting constant deadlines, having a rigorous daily schedule, and using tremendous will power. This was his karma and destiny, with little room for the relaxed, more traditional far eastern or Taoist emphasis on simply being and letting nature balance itself. But, the fact that this was his method does not mean that it is, at this late date in particular, and in the exact way he did it, the most fruitful related practice for each one of several hundred thousand disciples of later Masters. That certainly seems unlikely if not impossible. It is a very good thing to have an ideal to look up to, but another man's path to perfection is not necessarily one's own. This is not to say Kirpal was wrong in suggesting this diary form. In his own time and place the idea was appropriate, for the people he was initially dealing with, and if they understood it in the most rightful sense.
Cultural Factors
Here I will interject a personal comment that is sure to be pilloried as jingoistic and intolerant, but it is based on events in Kirpal’s government service as well as the writings of Indian ex-patriates. The culture of modern India for most of its two billion inhabitants, among the multitudes packed into the cities leading a hard-scrabble dog-eat-dog struggle for existence, and with thousands of villages with a myriad of local gods and allegiances, is one lacking an ingrained moral sense such as found in the West, for better or worse, through the Ten Commandments and Christianity. The structure of the educational system as well as government bureaucracies, and the business model is one where submission, kick-backs, favoritism, endless red tape, and above all bribery has been universally the norm, especially since the departure of the British. A story from the life of Kirpal in his government job tells us of him startling his superiors by the sound of the coins rattling which he tossed after them, refusing a customary bribe. From the poor in the streets paying off neighborhood goons, a tiny middle class holding on to what little they can get by gaming the system or toadying up to the right bureaucrat, built on a long-standing mindset of timidity and servility, little gets done and a cultural pride based on self-determination and self-honesty is lacking. Those who try to set up a business in India understand this. And those who do understand say that projections of India surpassing China and the U.S. economically by 2050 or whatever are pure fantasy.
Of course the highest masters and a few illustrious compatriots have always been exceptions to the rule. It is not a natter of blame or condemnation, but the ethical and moral code there is simply not the same as in the West.
What has this to do with a diary form? Only this, that among Indians with a natural, perhaps cultural or genetic, pre-disposition to inversion and mystical experiences, there may have been a corresponding lack of self-introspection, which the diary was introduced to remedy. While the traits of self-rationalization along with the ‘five dacoits’ (lust, anger, greed, attachment, ego) are universal, the balance between cultures has not. And therefore the specific form of diary exercise may not serve as well in each case.
Even so, Kirpal gave much personal guidance on a one-to-one basis at times - such guidance which appears no longer possible. So let us think for a moment. How many have time or the exactitude to really do this 'checking off' thoroughly and in a heart-felt way, year after year? Is it in fact supposed to be done like this 'year after year'? Who can really remember all of his thoughts of the day in any case - is it not true that one will of necessity be somewhat selective? Are all the thoughts even 'one's own'? Or do not many others come from 'outside', from the environment?
Here we face a razor's edge in speaking of this issue. For it is a cardinal maxim of spiritual life according to Masters as well as the church Fathers that, at least in the beginning, one must take full responsibility for oneself: one's thoughts, words, and actions. Subconscious thoughts are seen as a product of one's past, and whether man is seen as 'fallen' or 'evolving', he still must assume responsibility for his situation - if only to make it better for others, who ultimately are not separate from him. This, of course, is the way of the saints. Even if one is in a situation where it appears clear that he is not at fault or responsible, the very fact that one finds himself in such a situation means he is in some way responsible. So, this may be a very useful attitude to take, and offers spiritual protection and also invokes grace. On the other hand, we are softening the usual approach here because so many people these days, especially in the West, are riddled with self-hate from abusive upbringings, and are in need a fair share of self-love. The difficult school of 'hating oneself' that traditionally is a mark of a degree of spiritual maturity may simply be too hard or one-sided for many to deal with all at once. So, while it is very true, as Brunton writes:
"It is the paradoxical irony of this situation that the joys of the beginner make him believe that he is very near to God, while the desolations of the proficient make him despise himself," (24)
this may yet be a realization far-off for many aspirants.
What is suggested is, not self-indulgence, per se but a modicum of 'mother force' - in many cases more than a modicum - to balance the often excessive 'father force' of many traditional forms of spiritual practice. We will speak more on this as we proceed. There is a need for outgrowing self-importance - which is easily understood, being the traditional path of self-abnegation - but there is also a need for outgrowing unimportance. This is less understood but becomes equally if not more important at certain stages and for certain character types. As Sri Nisargadatta said, “Don’t pretend to be what you are not, but don’t be afraid to be what you are.”
Further, what feels right for one person may feel wrong for another, in many instances. Let us then consider - keeping in mind once again that obedience to a divinely appointed and chosen guru is one of the first traditional lessens of spirituality - what are the results of mechanically or even diligently (for it is not supposed to be done mechanically) at the end of the day marking down dozens of faults in any category of the diary as given? This will most likely depend on the basic strengths and weaknesses of the disciple. For the beginner, at best it will serve as remembrance of one's Master and also give insight into character by 'objectifying' the negative side of the self - if one can successfully do itin an objective, neutrally observing and non-judgmental way - but at worst it may strengthen attention on the self in its separateness. The diary, it is suggested - and this was the view of Swami Sivananda, a respected yogi whom Kirpal regarded highly, and who also placed a great emphasis on the keeping of a diary, which he went over over regularly (and rather severely, calling it his "Whip") - is to notice weaknesses and mistakes, yes, for which one will pray for help, but also impressions, reactions, and insights, to help one take stock of what one is learning. In other words, it is to be a tool for self-understanding. In this respect only the individual will know if is serving this purpose. We suggest perhaps the keeping of some form of contemplative journal, perhaps for a time in place of - or expanding and adapting the concept of - a diary to include this broader function, if one has the time or is so inclined. We do not want to give an aspirant more things to do! For in this modern world of ours time is precious and people feel overburdened as it is.
There are also different kinds of diaries. Kirpal gave out a "self-introspection" type of diary. He said, "I have kept a diary all through life." But did he really? For he also said, "when you are receptive you won't need a diary, or anything." Are we then to think that he wasn't receptive?! Of course not. This is another example of Masters eventually saying everything. Sooner or later one will have to decide what best serves one's practice. Neem Karoli Baba also kept a 'diary' in which he only wrote a page or two a day of "Ram Ram Ram Ram." Another form of diary was used by his disciple Ram Dass, who filled it mostly with inspirational spiritual quotes. This form of diary might be considered more like journalling. More on journalling as an optional or complementary practice later on.
CHAPTER THREE
The deepening of the process: purgation, repentance, metanoia
At some point one matures and is intuitively guided. He may find it not to his liking, as the divine instigates a deep purgation of hidden tendencies in response to his devotion. St. John summarizes this point of the soul's extremity as follows:
"For it will come to pass that God will lead the soul by a most lofty path of dark contemplation and aridity, wherein it seems to be lost, and, being thus full of darkness and trials, constraints and temptations, will meet one who will speak to it like Job's comforters, and say that it is suffering from melancholy, or low spirits, or a morbid disposition, or that it may have some hidden sin, and that it is for this reason that God has forsaken it. Such comforters are wont to declare immediately that that soul must have done very evil, since such things as these are befalling it."
"And there will likewise be those who tell the soul to retrace its steps, since it is finding no pleasure or consolations in the things of God as it did aforetime. And in this they double the poor soul's trials, for it may well be that the greatest affliction which it is feeling is that of the knowledge of its own miseries, thinking that it sees itself, more clearly than daylight, to be full of evils and sins, for God gives it the light of knowledge in that night of contemplation, as we shall presently show. And, when the soul finds someone whose opinion agrees with its own, and who says that these things must be due to its own fault, its afflictions and trouble increase infinitely and are wont to become more grievous than death. And, not content with this, such confessors, thinking that these things proceed from sin, make these souls go over their lives and cause them to make many general confessions, and crucify them afresh; not understanding that this may quite well not be the time for any of such things, and that their penitents should be left in the state of purgation which God gives them, and to be comforted and encouraged to desire it until God is pleased to dispose otherwise; for until that time, no matter what the souls themselves may do and their confessors may say, there is no remedy for them." (25)
And further:
"And thus it is that contemplation, whereby the understanding has the loftiest knowledge of God, is called mystical theology, which signifies secret wisdom of God; for it is secret even to the understanding that receives it. For that reason Saint Dionysius calls it a ray of darkness. Of this the prophet Baruch says: "There is none that knoweth its way, nor any that can think of its paths." (26)
It seems clear that in such a stage one must have some awareness of such a process, through clear and adequate instruction and study by himself and his teachers, in order to have faith in, cooperate with, and endure it. And that there may be new rules to be followed, and one can not go back to the old ways without denying fidelity to the one who has brought him so far already. This point may be considered a fairly advanced one for most people, but one never knows when karma and grace will intersect to re-activate a prior background, or respond to one's yearning. The point to be made here is that the path is not a nice, neat, linear process. There are many twists and turns and vicissitudes, as well as completely mysterious transformations. Too often this is not understood, and many suffer disappointment and stagnation because of it.
Regardless, sooner or later one will likely find himself in self-introspection confronted not with discrete failures to be dispassionately weeded out, but simply with the sense of his sin 'all in one heap' as the Christian mystics often say. Indeed, not only Christian saints, but Zen masters, too, speak of this need for a deep metanoia, or turn-about of the heart. This is really a rather mature stage, however. Abbot Zenkei Shibayama of the Nanzenji Monastery in Kyoto, Japan, describes the nature of this inner work, which could just as well be speaking about any spiritual path:
“The first step in pursuing the way to religion is to “empty oneself.” But this “emptying oneself” does not mean, as ordinarily understood, merely to be humble in one’s thinking or to clean out all from the self-deceived mind so that it can accept anything. It has a much deeper and stronger meaning. One has to face the “ugliness and helplessness” of oneself, or of human life itself, and must confront deep contradictions and sufferings, which are called the “inevitable karma.” He has to look deep into his inner self, go beyond the last extremity of himself, and despair of himself as a “self which can by no means be saved.” “Emptying oneself” comes from this bitterest experience, from the abyss of desperation and agony, of throwing oneself down, body and soul, before the Absolute."
"It is the keenness with which one realizes one’s helplessness and despairs of oneself, in other words, how deeply one plunges into one’s inner self and throws oneself away, which is the key to religion. “To be saved,” “to be enlightened,” or “to get the mind pacified” is not of primary importance. Shinran Shonin, who is respected as one of the greatest religious geniuses in Japan, once deplored, “I am unworthy of any consideration and am surely destined for hell!”....When one goes through this experience, for the first time the words of the great religious teachers are directly accepted with one’s whole heart and soul...” (27)
Similarly deCaussade wrote:
“This keen realization of your poverty and darkness gives me pleasure, because I know it is a sure sign that divine light is increasing in you without your knowledge and is forming a sure foundation of true humility. The time will come when the sight of these miseries which now cause you horror, will overwhelm you with joy, and fill you with a profound and delightful peace. It is not till we have reached the bottom of the abyss of our nothingness, and are firmly established there that we can, as Holy Scripture says, “walk before God in justice and truth.” Just as pride, which is founded on a lie, prevents God from bestowing favours on a soul that is otherwise rich in merit, so this happy condition of humiliation willingly accepted, and of annihilation truly appreciated, draws down divine graces on even the most wretched of souls.” (28)
Contemporary teacher Shaykh Hakim Moinuddin Chisti writes:
"If we read the testimony of all the greatest people who lived - the prophets - we find that they were the most fearful of what awaited them in the grave and in the next life. These people were the most humble, most righteous and selfless people who lived; and they were all constantly aware of their shortcomings and worried about their ultimate fate before their Lord. How much more ought ordinary people to express such concerns." (29)
Saint Silouan of the Orthodox tradition, as mentioned, although considered a perfected human being,
"would cry and wail on occasion that this was his last night and that his 'miserable soul' was going straight to Hades, away from God." (30)
So while one must understand and respect where one stands from a more or less modern psychological point of view, it is well to also bear in mind the confessions of great traditional teachers at a certain stage of their development, and not merely at the outset consider them 'old-fashioned'. Also, one does not need to, nor should he necessarily, 'abandon' the lower stages or practices when he has entered a higher phase; if they are useful for his development he should feel free to use them as needed. Prayer is a good example. One ought never be too proud to pray, it is the salt of life and man can't live without it. St. Silouan cried and wailed, therefore, in what are inevitable moments of forgetfulness in order to remind himself of God. Furthermore, as English mystic William Law wrote:
"Regeneration or the renewal of our first birth and state is something entirely distinct from this sudden conversion or call to repentance...It is not a thing done in an instant, but is a certain process, a gradual release from our capacity and disorder, consisting of several stages, both of death and life, which the soul must go through before it can have thoroughly put off the old man."
"Repentance is but a kind of table talk, till we see so much of the deformity of our inward nature as to be in some degree frightened and terrified at the sight of it. There must be some kind of an earthquake within us, something that must rend and shake us to the bottom, before we can be enough sensible either of the state of death we are in or enough desirous of that Savior, who alone can raise us from it." (31)
Grace steps in sometimes to force change by the path of bitter herbs, so to speak. It is in times like these, one might say, that metanoia comes as a form of radical acceptance.
This depth of epiphany is necessary and inevitable at some point, if one is indeed fortunate. But it is not to be anticipated, as it is really only one (albeit classic) possibility. Perhaps, then, it may be more useful for many of us on a day-to-day basis to try to introspect and be aware from moment to moment, and to consider that the essence of the diary exercise, and then later write about two or three major findings, without judgement, in the spirit that we are all learning, and simply ask oneself, "what did I do wrong, and how can I make it better?" This may be more meaningful and heart-felt to the individual. And in fact Kirpal suggested that this might be the case, as we shall see. Then, one might couple that with pondering one or two positive actions or traits observed in others and affirm, "I want to be like that." This is not an exercise in futility or neurosis as some neo-advaitins might say. It is real surrender and aspiration for self-knowledge. We observe our faults and also aspire to an ideal. All the saints have done so. Just asking "who am I?" is unlikely to be entirely fruitful for most people. In fact, Swami Sivananda said, "very few can do 'who am I?'" Even the modern exponent of the technique, Ramana Maharshi, said that that was a practice for ripe souls. Which means for comparatively few. The reason is because the so-called 'I'-thought" is really the root of the mind. It is the subconscious causal 'thought' of egoity, and much work is needed to isolate it so it can be slayed through enquiry. So one does the confession and repentance work, forgetting oneself in the process, patient that true awakening will arise of itself. It will be infused in due course. No need to be sold on clever intellectual reasoning that there is no doer; there is a doer, until there isn't. There is effort, until it becomes effortless. One does not usually jump from the ego to the Godhead - God is the way to the Godhead, and that great Power must be supplicated and rendered devotion. All the great ones have done it, it seems part of the plan. But this must be understood in a modern way. First one is humbled to ashes and dust, then he surrenders the 'old man', the worldly 'me', to the Self within, which then leads to the realization that God is in fact all in all and is being that Self and all selves.
How to do that? Only by, first, and somehow, re-awakening, and accepting, the divine child within, which is none other than the soul, felt first as one's most intimate stirring of life, of innocence, hopefulness, the heart of us all and which we are. Like as that of a five year old child, which, Maharshi said, without which "there is no hope for you in the realm of self-knowledge," and, as Christ advised us, "unless ye become as little children, ye will no wise see the kingdom of God." They meant this literally. This can only come through first an acceptance of the deepest, gentle, tender, hopeful, heart yearning within us which we have forgotten. It is home and the way home. We will speak more of this shortly.
Self-introspection, then, is meant to serve two functions, truly: one, to notice one's faults of character, but also to notice and cultivate one's strengths, natural gifts, and creativity, to give more attention and energy to the development of those positive attributes, rather than merely recognizing the negatives. For if it be true, once again, that "the unexamined life is not be worth living," as said Socrates, it must also surely be true that "the unlived life is not worth examining.”
All these are just suggestions. Brunton wrote on what could be considered the essence of a diary form of self-confession when he said:
"To confess sins of conduct and shortcomings of character as a part of regular devotional practices possesses a psychological value quite apart from any other that may be claimed for it. It develops humility, exposes self-deceit, and increases self-knowledge. It decreases vanity every time it forces the penitent to face his faults. It opens a pathway first for the mercy and ultimately for the Grace of the higher Self."
"He has emotionally to crawl on hands and knees before the higher power in the deepest humility. This kills pride, that terrible obstacle between man and the Soul's presence." (32)
Sometimes that’s what it takes. But while it has an important place, no need to overdo the penitence either - or hold any preconceived view of how awakening is all supposed to work out. Consciousness can be awakened, or awaken to itself, at any time, so maintaining 'beginner's mind' is all important. Which means no fixed expectations. Expect the unexpected, expect the unexpectable, and the Good.
One may find, then, as a suggestion, that he must decide for himself how useful it is to merely total up the failure in each category and mark it down. What purpose does it serve for you? “Does it serve you” is the question. There is no blanket right or wrong answer. In solely our opinion, however, one may likely find that he is either under the illusion that if he has a lot of 'failures' he is bad or not 'progressing', or if he has few, perhaps worse, that he is in fact progressing! Or even, if, as is to be expected, that if initially the failures increase, even dramatically, that he is progressing because he is in fact becoming more conscious. In all three cases attention remains self-enclosed and self-obsessed with one's purity or progress. Is this not so, and are not many, many seekers now coming to this realization? If not, and if it helps one remember the Master in a conscious way, well and good. We understand this may appear contrary to what our beloved Kirpal, or his successors, outwardly taught, but if He were teaching today I personally suspect He might have a different approach, with some people anyway. Equally unfruitful, and quite possibly leading to insanity, in our view (forgive us for saying so), are remarks we have heard to the effect that one should meditate "five, ten, fifteen hours a day if possible', and under the category of 'time for meditation' one should 'subtract the time that one is not concentrated fully at the third eye, or has any thoughts going on, from the two and a half hour total." If that were truly adhered to then most disciples would likely have to meditate twenty-four hours a day to reach even their required two and a half hours, what to speak of more! For how many are successful for more than a few minutes in actual one-pointed concentration, and how many struggle with thoughts? That is an inherent part of all forms of meditation, and is to be expected, not felt guilty for, or made to believe he or she is doing something wrong. This path is hard enough without overlaying such burdens. Further, since Kirpal was told by his Master to meditate five, six, or more hours a day, on top of his busy schedule, does that mean it is appropriate advice for all of us? In short, no it isn't. Most are simply not ready for such practice, and to try to take the gates of heaven by storm is to be spiritually greedy and shows both a lack of reliance on the divine Will and an appreciation for the stage one is in. In addition, how fruitful for a truly integrative practice is such excessive introversion-oriented meditation? Does it help one see the manifest world and the soul as one, as non-dual? Or does it in fact contribute to a dualistic split view of the world as separate from oneself and God?
In truth, not only are most not ready, but only an accomplished saint could do this, if it were even desirable, which is questionable except for delineated periods in his life. All the rest of us, through a form of spiritual arrogance, so to speak, might very well be actually reinforcing an identity and self-image as an isolated, separate, anxious 'mountain climber', instead of affirming our True Identity as always already Self-Awareness without limits. This is not to deny the necessity of the apparent journey through relativity, as some 'absolutist' metaphysicians try to do (saying it is all an illusion, which is only half-right), but only to help seed our intuition of our real nature, from the beginning of the path, and not waiting only until the end. Meditation is a major part of the quest, but not all, and also not generally fruitful without supportive practices and attitudes. We will speak much more of this in a short while.
CHAPTER FOUR
When it may not look like progress but it is; Paradoxical and unrecognized progress; Different forms and stages of progress; Don’t compare yourself with others; Even Sawan and Kirpal said that inner experiences are not it; Hitting bottom; Awareness of disease is the first step in its cure; Abandoning hope of personal attainment
In terms of self-introspection, in addition, the suggestion that if one dots all of his I's and crosses all of his T's he will enjoy 'steady progress within from day to day' is ludicrous if not harmful. He may in fact be progressing, but not necessarily be enjoying or even noticing it. The path is not so linear; it is full of karmic surprises, challenges, ups and downs, pains and contradictions - all of which is how we are instructed by the universe.
The same might be said for the category of 'experiences in meditation.' It has been written that "one should not care what one sees, it does not matter if it is the golden light, the moon, Sun, or the vision of this or that Master, just sit and gaze, have no clutching or expectation." But then one is told to write down what one sees on the back of the diary form! What purpose is served by that? Doesn’t the initiate know what he has seen? Does one really need the Master to write back even once a year, "yes, the Sun is higher than the stars, you are progressing," or, "your results show a lack of progress" ? Doesn't one know already? One can read all about such basic inner phenomena in the books and not need to take a Master's precious time telling you the same, certainly not in the beginning stages. And how does that show you aren't progressing, anyway? You either had a 'good' meditation' or you didn't. And even that is only apparent. Even one repetition of japa or simran is beneficial and has its cumulative if hidden effects. And, although it may be difficult to understand, it may be well to keep in mind the insight that repetition of a mantra is not done for one's own sake. The chief beneficiary is not the ‘person,’ says Nisargadatta, but the witness, or, in Sant Mat, the soul. So looking for rapid results is not a proper view. In addition, as master Kirpal clearly wrote:
"It is not the inner experience that determines the spiritual progress, but the basic personal attitude of serene living of the child disciple, which proves his or her worth." (33)
This point is so central it cannot be over-emphasized. All great spiritual teachers and directors emphasis this. Steadiness, endurance, equanimity, charity, and patience are of much more importance than inner mystic experiences. It is not that having a vision is of no worth, but that they occur on the way to the goal, and are not the goal itself. Even Ramana, who may seem the last person to have anything positive to say about the subject, said, "having visions is better than no visions, because it is a sign of increased concentration and means one is closer to absorption into the Self." (34) However, he also has said that visions, per se, were no signs, or not necessarily signs, of progress! Some people, for one reason or another, seem to be prone to them even without any great achievement in power of concentration.
But the essential 'experience', if it be called so, may be much subtler, and easily missed. Brunton states:
"The most important kind of spiritual development is usually undramatic and unexciting. It is found and felt in deep peace...Learn to be satisfied with this gift, this grace of the Stillness. Do not ask for more or for something more striking and dramatic. This is a common error, and an ungrateful one." (35)
And further:
"The quietness of this deep daily initiation into the Overself may seem a small and flat thing against the thrilling raptures that religious mystics and babbling evangelists have described. But its life-giving and life-changing power, its truth-revealing light, will be of a much higher voltage." (36)
Eventually:
"You do not need your "visions" anymore; you are happily participating in God's vision for you...We are henceforth "a serene disciple" living in our own unique soul as never before, yet paradoxically living within the mind and heart of God..." (37)
St. Bernard confessed that in his entire life "he had never had any visions at all, but that many times he could feel God enter his soul." St. John of the Cross wrote, "many souls to whom visions have never come are incomparably more advanced on the way of perfection than others to whom many have been given." The point is that these things, if necessary, come in their own time, and are not the truest gauge of spiritual progress. If one day you have a great meditation, and the next day, week, month, or even year(s) do not, it is a mistake to assume there has been no progress. In truth, most of us really have no way of knowing the stage of our progress, other than how we react amidst circumstances in our daily life, or the unexpected spontaneous peace or joy that arises in the heart when we have contacted the true Self that is our real nature. This can happen as well in the body as without. It is usually missed when our hope is fixed is on spectacular things. But it is the one thing that can never be taken away. We will speak more on this later. Suffice to say for now that much lies hidden behind the scenes, due to our development in past incarnations, that relates to breakthroughs in consciousness. The Masters always say that one of their primary jobs, with our cooperation, is to wrap up the karmic accounts. And of course, this is just one way of looking at things; karma per se is not only something to pay off, which is kind of a negative way of looking at it, but as part of human experience is inseparable from the very process of our liberation. And this in fact, however, may involve our not having much in the way of 'experiences' until we are ready to have them without becoming imbalanced. And this may be hard to take given the carrot of expectation built up in the traditional teachings on this path. But it is simply the case. Sant Darshan Singh gives a glimpse of this:
"One may seem to suffer, to be in agony on account of separation, but remembrance itself is a form of union, and one would not exchange it for anything else. This remembrance is like the termite which hollows out from within us, all the love and ephemeral attachments of this world. Those who have it are progressively purified of their spiritual weaknesses. Even when we seem to make no progress, continued remembrance is itself a form of progress, for slowly, steadily, and inexorably it is preparing the way for everlasting union. As a great Urdu poet, Asadullah Khan Ghalib, has said, "When pain grows beyond endurance, it becomes its own cure."
"Once we have glimpsed the ineffable divine beloved, nothing on this earth can satisfy us. Having enticed us and enraptured us, the beloved then disappears. We pine and yearn for him, but he is nowhere to be found. Anyone who reads the writings of the mystics will notice how much they touch upon the torments which the seeker undergoes in his quest for the divine Spouse...[But] even if the Lord seems to withdraw himself from us, we cannot give Him up; we have no choice. We are afflicted with a disease and we can not rest until we are reunited with Him...But even after He has reached out to us, we are still not entirely free from our worldly attachments and desires. It is by withdrawing Himself from us, by moving away, that He compels us to follow Him. As we recognise that nothing compares with the joy of his presence, we disengage from our worldly attachments one by one. The suffering and anguish of separation are processes by which we are purified of all worldly desires. Love burns up everything except the Beloved. And as we restlessly wait for the faintest sound of His incoming footsteps, we are being cleansed and recreated from within." (38)
Anandamayi Ma spoke to one disciple:
"It is not right to compare and reason saying, 'such and such a person has done sadhana for so many years and yet has not got anywhere.' How can you judge what is happening to anyone inwardly? Sometimes it seems that a person who does sadhana seems to have changed for the worse. But how do you know that this tendency has not always been in him and has now come out so that it may be dealt with and purified as a result of his own endeavor? To say: 'I have done so much sadhana but have not become transformed,' is also the wrong attitude. Yours is only to seek God and call out to him unceasingly and not look to the result of what you are doing." (39)
In this aspect of relationship with a Guru, Sri Ramakrishna spoke of the process as "lancing the boil."
It is a plain fact that the revelation of egoism will go on for years. It is to be expected and not taken as a sign that something is wrong with the process itself or with ones conscious efforts and intentions. In his own way even Kirpal paradoxically said that when marking the diary one will find that the number of 'failures' will actually increase as one goes on with the practice (even as one 'weeds out' failures). That, in fact, is part of the 'science' of the spiritual process! It is supposed to happen. One actually 'improves' while seeing how one is a failure.
From another tradition, the Athonite father Maximos tells us this about the process of prayer itself. One can perhaps only understand this from the perspective of actual experience. If one has been on the path for a long time he will no doubt recognize the signs:
"Another [illness] is what the elders call hardness or toughness of the heart. A person may fervently desire to listen to the word of God, to desire union with God, to come in contact with wisdom that comes from God, but the heart is impenetrable. The Grace of God cannot enter the essence of that person. The heart does not allow the seed of God's grace to take root. Based on the experience of the saints, this is a given for all of us. If we consider ourselves as a parcel of land that we begin to dig and cultivate with the Prayer [in this tradition, the practice of repetition of the Jesus Prayer, "Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me"] we'll noticed that at first the ground may be soft and relatively easy to plow. But as we continue digging we reach a level full of pebbles. Further down we reach solid rock. It is like sowing on granite. Nothing can penetrate it." Father Maximos looked thoughtful and serious, as if speaking from direct experience.
"So what happens after that?"
"The hardness becomes even more impenetrable," he said with a somber tone and remained pensive for a few more seconds." (40)
The essence of this experience is that it takes committed practice over time to come anywhere near the revelation that one has a heart of stone, which then makes one available to grace. The Sants talk about this but usually in veiled terms for the beginning student, who has yet to be made strong in his devotion to the path. But having read this far you are not likely a raw beginner, and thus ready to be weaned from mother's milk?.....
One might, furthermore, consider for himself whether or not one of the most reliable signs of progress is, in a way, to not be concerned with progress. The saints often have said, 'what is the value of 'pulling up the plant and checking its growth each and every day?' Is one so sure he is or is not progressing? It is but natural to be concerned, or to wonder, but it may be useful to know that here is another perspective. Lin Yutang writes, in the perennial book, The Importance of Living, "From the Taoist point of view, an educated man is one who believes he has not succeeded when he has, but is not sure he has failed when he fails."
If we are so fortunate, we reach a point of letting go of control over the entire process. It is initially scary to hand it over, and may not be done prematurely, but is an option nevertheless given by the Satguru. Kirpal wrote:
"When a disciple entrusts his all to the Master, he becomes carefree and the Master has of necessity to take over the entire responsibility; just as a mother does for her child who does not know what is good for him. Self-surrender is not an easy task. It comes only when a disciple has complete faith and confidence in the competency of the Master. In it one has to recede back to the position of an innocent child...On the other hand, the path of spiritual discipline...self effort, everyone can try for himself or herself."
"It is, no doubt, a long and tortuous path, as compared to the former, but one can with confidence in the Master tread it firmly step by step. If, however, a person may be fortunate enough to take to self-surrender, he can have all the Blessings of the Master quickly, for then he goes directly into his lap and has nothing to do by himself for himself...But very rarely even a really blessed soul may be able to acquire this attitude." (41)
Usually, we usually must become saturated with experience to reach this stage, where we finally rest in the knowing that it is God that is being the awareness that we are, that it is God who is the ever-faithful one, not us, faithfully in charge of all creation and our very Being. Thus one comes to the confession, "He is me - I am not He," which is a great grace to be so blessed to make. This is a hidden Secret of the path, a divine Mystery, beyond all states. All responsibility rests with God, as one leaves "all his cares among the lilies," as St. John of the Cross wrote, divinely Overself-conscious of that which is the support of his own life.
Yet, despite what the many non-dualists teach, one must live the life, yes acting as if no-separation is true, but not just in belief but through efforts of true and right action, until such time as this is one's spontaneous nature and realization. One may of course have glimpses, often prolonged ones, of truth. But this 'view' will certainly be tested by both the world and God, until one becomes the Reality he knows himself to be in moments of clear seeing. Real-ization. There is really no way around this part of the equation. It need not be prolonged or made difficult any more than is necessary, but we must paradoxically 'try the impossible', at times, in order to see that our trying is useless or insufficient to achieve what we hope for, in order to "surrender in the arms of love." We come to the point where letting go of control is our last option - the only thing left to do. Hubert Benoit writes of this difficulty:
"Man believes in the utility of his agitation because he does not think that he is anything but that personal 'me' which he perceives in the dualistic manner. He does not know that there is in him something quite different from this visible personal 'me', something invisible which works in his favor in the dark. Identifying himself with his perceptible phenomena, in particular with his imaginative mind, he does not think that he is anything more. Everything happens as though he said to himself: 'Who would work for me except myself?' And not seeing in himself any other self than his imaginative mind, he turns to his mind to rid himself of distress. When one only sees a single means of salvation, one believes in it because necessarily one wishes to believe in it...I do not know that my essential wish - to escape from the dualistic illusion, a generator of anguish - is in process of being realized in me by something other than my personal 'me'; I do not believe that I can count on anyone but myself; I believe myself therefore obliged to do something. I take fright in believing myself alone, abandoned by all; necessarily then I am uneasy and my agitation neutralizes by degrees the beneficial work of my deeper self. Zen expresses that in saying: 'Not knowing how near the Truth is, people look for it far away...what a pity!" (42)
In short, we do our small part with humility, then, and leave the rest up to Him - God, the Universal Power, Providence, Grace, Truth. Or, as PB expressed it:
"Such is the strange paradox of the quest that on the one hand he must foster determined self-reliance but on the other yield to a feeling of utter dependence on the higher power." (43)
Yes, the dissolution of the mind and ego-centered life is full of mystery and paradox. Real self-honesty is needed to discern both whether one is progressing or not, as well as whether one in fact knows whether he is progressing or not! For much of the time one may be in the dark on this score, which of course is where surrender comes in. For example:
"When you go beyond progress, you will know what progress is." - Nisargadatta Maharaja.
"Don't be discouraged by obstacles or the feeling that you are not making any progress. The mind is so enmeshed in illusion it is not capable of determining whether or not it is making any progress along the spiritual path. Just carry on with your meditation. Don't expect immediate results and don't be worried by the lack of them." - Annamalai Swami
The notion of spiritual 'progress' is an interesting one! Of course we want it, but often we are confused by fixed, preconceived ideas of what that really is. We are reminded, for instance, of the section on Baba Faqir Chand, in Sant Mat: Part One, where he stated that it may not be necessary for one to experience all of the planes in order to know Truth. The final or as far as we know ultimate state, i.e. sahaj samadhi, is said to be not based on seeing anything in the ordinary dualistic sense, but on being the Truth that we are. Then why be 'concerned' with writing down visionary experiences in the diary? That is not the only form of progress to notice. The lessening of egoism is more important. Again, it is supposedly for a beginner to assure him that he is progressing in concentration - certainly nothing wrong with that - but when one comes to the realization (or the so-called 'throwing in of the towel') wherein he realizes that progress lies more in the 'disappearance' or humbling of the one who thinks he is progressing, than something he has achieved, and that no experience per se is unvarnished Truth, then such concern begins to be seen for what it is.
PB cautions:
"It is an error, although a reasonable one, to believe that attainment comes only when the whole distance of this path has been travelled. This is to make it depend on measurement, calculation - that is, on the ego's own effort, management, and control. On the contrary, attainment depends on relinquishment of the ego, and hence the idea of progress which accompanies it...As he advances in the idea of being detached from results and possessions, he will inevitably have to advance in the idea of being detached from concern about his own spiritual development. If he is to relinquish the ego, he will also have to relinquish his attempts to improve it. This applies just as much to its character as to its ideas...The usual ways seek personal attainment, achievement, salvation. The aspirant thinks or speaks of "my progress"; hence such ways are self-involved, egoistic. The Short Path [~direct path, or, the path of surrender] turns realization over to the Overself so that it is not your concern any longer. That does not mean that you do not care whether you find truth or not, but that whereas ordinary care for it arises out of desire of the ego or anxiety of the ego or egoistic need of comfort, escape or relief, the Short Path care arises out of the stillness of mind, serenity of faith, and the acceptance of the universe...Why create needless frustrations by an overeager attitude, by overdoing spiritual activity? You are in the Overself's hands even now and if the fundamental aspiration is present, your development will go on without your having to be anxious about it. Let the burden go. Do not become victim of creating too much suggestion got from reading too much spiritual literature creating an artificial conception of enlightenment."
and
"Their greatest advance will be made when they cease holding the wish to make any advance at all, cease their continual looking at themselves, and instead come to a quiet rest in the simple fact that God is, until they live in this fact alone. That will transfer their attention from self to Overself and keep them seeing its presence in everyone's life and its action in every event. The more they succeed in holding to this insight, the less will they even be troubled or afraid or perplexed again; the more they recognize and rest in the divine character, the less will they be feverishly concerned about their own spiritual future."
and
“He begins to see that in attempting to purify himself and to perfect himself he is attempting a tremendous task. The more he progresses, the more he sees how weak and sinful his character still is. The time comes when he can no longer receive in mute resigned patience the Oriental Master's teaching to practice patience equal to that required to empty an ocean with a spoon. It is at such a time that he may be ready to try the Short Path.”
“The Short Path depends on naturalness and spontaneity--quite the opposite of the Long Path's discipline and effort. The individual who turns aside from the latter at the right moment does so not because he spurns them or denies them or rejects them but because they do not serve him now.”
“The moment for departure from the Long Path is signaled by the full realization that all that he has really gained from practicing its disciplines is only the practice itself, not the newer consciousness to which they were supposed to lead him.”
"Because it is impossible for the questing ego to become the Overself the quester must recognize that he is the Overself and stop thinking in egoistic terms of progress along a path, or attainment of a goal."
"We are under a delusion that we must struggle, centimetre by centimetre, all the long way to the Kingdom of heaven. We stare, astonished and sceptical, when a Sage - Indian, Chinese, Japanese - tells us we are already in it." (44)
True, these are not the insights of the beginner, but at some point introducing and turning to them becomes valuable, even life-saving. Until then we continue to make efforts, but chiefly to remove obstructions to the ever-present truth, not to get anywhere. Eventually, however, we may be graced to understand words such as the following from a sage like Sri Nisargadatta:
"Unless you make tremendous efforts, you will not be convinced that effort will take you nowhere. The self is so self-confident, that unless it is totally discouraged, it will not give up." (45)
Of course there is paradox here, as well as a double-bind. Merely reading such a statement and then trying to make strenuous efforts, as well as to ‘do nothing’ when one is not ripe will likely not work. Yet this is actually much like the 2.0 of Gurinder Singh, which shocked some people, and greatly bewildered others, in which he said that meditation is just to wear out the mind and make you give up. Papaji, however, said the very same thing. And I believe in various circumstances Kirpal Singh also pointed in this direction - when it was ‘expedient.’ Something within a person will let him know when such an impulse is true. The transition cannot be made prematurely, and I believe that it may need to be forced upon one. Then we find out what effortless effort, or no-effort, is like. That is to say, having become our last resort, we can resort to it. Until then, effortless effort or no effort is really not possible. Shri Atmananda states:
"In each school one can progress up to the point when all desire for progress must be abandoned to make further progress possible. Then all schools are given up, all effort ceases, in solitude and darkness the last step is made which ends ignorance and fear forever." (46)
Not only this, but the changeover frees attention up to emphasize other areas where one may remain relatively undeveloped. PB further writes:
"His spiritual progress will be measured not so much by his meditational progress as by his moral awakening...It must [also] be remembered always that mere intellectual study is not so essential as the building of worthwhile character, which is far more important in preparing for the great battle with the ego." (47)
To repeat, Kirpal Singh said much the same:
"It is not the inner experience which determines the spiritual progress, but the basic personal attitude of serene living of the child disciple, which proves his or her worth."
St. John writes:
“Charity is more precious in God’s sight than all the visions and communications possible - since these imply neither merit or demerit, and...many individuals who have never received these experiences are incomparably more advanced than others who have received many.” (48)
Nisargadatta disciple Ramesh Balsekar expresses this point in his iconoclastic advaitic way:
"...bear in mind that whatever happens is part of the impersonal functioning of Totality. The seeker is merely a body-mind organism in that functioning. "He" does not make any progress because "he" doesn't exist as a doer. The Source starts the seeking and the Source maintains the process of destruction of the ego, the seeker. Only the Source can destroy the ego...There is a penultimate stage prior to enlightenment itself. If you ask me what is indicative of the threshold to the imminent occurrence of enlightenment, I answer that it is the attitude: "Enlightenment? Who cares!" From this stage, enlightenment can occur at any moment...You will know you are making progress if, in daily life, you find yourself more tolerant towards other people's actions. After all, if no action is "your" action, then how can you blame others for theirs? And life becomes simpler - no pride, no guilt, no hate, no envy. With this understanding, you know that the teaching is going deeper." (49)
Keep in mind that he speaks of a penultimate stage; it is generally inappropriate to entertain an attitude of 'not caring' prematurely.
Nisargadatta echoes Kirpal in pointing out the short-sightedness of looking only for dramatic effects from Master’s influence and thus missing out on the big picture:
“The effects need not necessarily be an experience. It can be a change in character, in motivation, in relationship to people and one’s self. Trance and visions induced by words, or drugs, or any other sensory or mental means are temporary and inconclusive. The truth of what is said here is immovable and everlasting. And the proof of it is in the listener, in the deep and permanent changes in his entire being. It is not something he can doubt, unless he doubts his own existence, which is unthinkable. When my experience becomes your own experience also, what better proof do you want?" (50)
Even Sawan and Kirpal said that inner experiences are not it
Not only Kirpal but his master Sawan when pressed admitted that inner experiences were not the essential thing. Ishwar Puri said he asked Great Master how much such experiences mattered and he replied, “Very little.” Puri was surprised given the great emphasis the books place on going to this or that plane and seeing this or that thing inside. But Sawan stressed that the inner and outer are the same. There are a few who can go very high inside but then get flustered and lose all their faith when something goes wrong outside. On the other hand Ishwar said there are those who never see anything inside but “see” miracles all the time in their daily life and increasingly feel closer to their Master. They may also in their meditations essentially "cross all the regions and reach a state beyond the mind even without knowing it," while we may do the same but miss it because of looking for something spectacular. Missing your Master and wishing to see him is progress, too, as we saw in Part One when Soamiji told Jaimal Singh that all the while he had been thinking of him he had been “soaring on the inner planes.” [Grasping this simple truth is a 'prerequisite' for absorbing the 'advanced' metaphysics that will be presented in the final sections of Part Four !]
But since this remembrance, when effortful, is still somewhat artificial, the way forward is simply to let it serve to bring you back from gross forgetfulness, and then let that thought ‘sink’ into the heart and be sublimated into the non-dual vision of seeing everything as your Guru, as your Self. That is the only way it can be an enduring and natural remembrance, and lead to the ‘goal’ in every moment. Over time this becomes ones natural state, ‘forgetting’ duality, and then that itself eventually becomes ‘forgotten,’ (the ‘forgetting of the forgetting’, as mentioned by Sri Siddeswarananda in Part One) which is the present-time, here-and-now equivalent of passing to the stages ‘beyond’ Sach Khand.
It may also be the case in this day of big sanghas that one may not be fortunate to have had a personal relationship with his Master. Not too many these days can confess to having had contact - true satsang - like this, even for a few days:
”I saw the Master not more than four or five times; but in that short time we became so intimate that I felt as if we had been class-mates. How much liberty I took while speaking with him! But no sooner had I left his presence than it flashed on me: “Goodness gracious! Think where I have been!” What I saw and received in those few days has sweetened my whole life. That Elysian smile of his, laden with nectar, I have locked up in the secret closet of my memory. That is the unending treasure of a hapless person like myself. A thrill of joy passes through my heart when I think how a grain of the bliss shed from that laughter has been sweetening the lives of millions, even in distant America. If that be the case, you may very well understand how lucky you are.” - from The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, a letter to “M” from Aswini Kumar.
So what then? Such blessed contact can hardly be overrated, yet it can sometimes only need a brief meeting to serve its divine purpose and etch itself into the soul for years afterwards. It is not necessary to be personally with a Master for extended periods, and few have that kind of karma. It is not a matter of just getting charged up by a contact high; the deeper initiations, with subsequent with changes in character and understanding (often through years of assimilation of what is given) are more subtle. Still, one can wish for such heart-closeness, while in the meantime availing oneself of good company. It needn’t be a Master, for true ones are rare birds and not so easy to find. For immediate purposes a good teacher may suffice. Ones own study, aspiration, sincerity and faith may then draw to him all the help he needs. One may also sympathetically recreate the desired closeness from the accounts of others, or even from becoming sensitive to feeling the pain of poignant moments in ones life. Crying out of a feeling of loneliness, or even wretchedness, can also be as much a sign of remembrance and progress as an imagined guru connection one feels eludes him. After all, everything comes from within, and it is a cardinal principle of faith that God knows the hearts, both when they are melting and when they are breaking. There may even come trying times for the most loyal of seekers when, crushed under the weight of the cross, lying in bed until the tears come to the eyes is the best one can do: this, too, is meditation. As Brunton writes:
"It is not only by the experience of feeling at times the presence of God that an aspirant may develop inwardly: it may also happen by the equivalent non-experience, by feeling quite deserted by God, quite left alone! This - the "dark night of the soul" - is just as essential." (51)
A central truth Ishwar is pointing to, however, is that all that is outside is a projection of what is inside, personally - and universally. The world outside is really our inner self. Therefore the inside and outside are one. Ultimately there is no within or without, but it is fantastic “progress” to begin to see, feel, and live that way.
Fenelon gives additional insight on our subject:
"...The increase of inward light will show our imperfections to be far greater and more deadly at their roots than we had thought them...Nothing so decidedly marks the solid progress of a soul as being able to view its own depravity without being disturbed or discouraged...Let us remember that becoming aware of our disease is the first step in its cure." (52) (52)
deCaussade in beautiful prose says:
"My dear Sister, when one loves God, one does not wish to make greater progress than God wills, and one abandons one's spiritual progress to divine Providence, just as wealthy people in the world abandon to Him all the success of their temporal affairs."
"One does not ever advance in spiritual as one does in visible works. The business of our sanctification and perfection ought to be the work of our whole life-time. I notice your natural vivacity and eagerness intrude into everything, and from this proceed anxieties, discouragement, and troubles which lead you astray in causing you distress. Here is the remedy! As long as you feel a sincere good-will to belong to God, a practical appreciation for everything that leads you to God, and a certain amount of courage to rise after your little falls, you are doing well in the sight of God. [Sawan Singh used to say, "when you fall, fall forward."] Have patience with yourself then; learn to bear with your weaknesses and miseries gently, as you have to put up with those of your neighbor. Be satisfied to humble yourself quietly before God, and do not expect to make any progress except through Him. This hope will not be disappointed, but God will realize probably by a hidden operation which will take place in the centre of your soul, and this will cause you to make considerable progress without your knowledge." (53)
St. Teresa’s prayer:
“What my weakness finds impossible, will become easy with the help of the grace of God, and this He will give me in His own good time. For the rest, I desire neither perfection, nor to lead a spiritual life, except as far as it should please God to give them to me and at the time He has appointed to do so.”
As Kirpal Singh has said, “but only rarely is a truly blessed soul able to acquire this attitude” and “A few minutes of the Master’s grace, and then….?
This says a great deal in a nutshell, and is likely a secret of Sant Mat, where outwardly so much emphasis seems to be on progress being only the achievement of inner experiences. Whereas herein considered that could be seen as 'one kind of progress' ; i.e., progress in concentration. And Brunton also had a nice thing to say about that:
"Concentration is often a passport to spiritual attainment, but it needs the visa of Humility to make it an impeccable document." (54)
Or as deCaussade as expressed a similar sentiment:
“It is not until we have reached the bottom of the abyss of our nothingness, and are firmly established there that we can, as Holy Scripture says, “walk before God in justice and truth.” Just as pride, which is founded in a lie, prevents God from bestowing favours on a soul that is otherwise rich in merit, so this happy condition of humiliation willingly accepted, and of annihilation truly appreciated, draws down divine graces on even the most wretched of souls.”
As one is not always in meditation, there surely must be a way to measure progress in ordinary life. And of course there is, although it may not appear spectacular. It is simply the decrease in a personal point of view, more humility and less ego.
Again, from deCaussade:
“You seem to become ever more deeply convinced of your miseries and imperfections. Now that happens only in proportion to our nearness to God, and to the light in which we live and walk…This divine light as it shines more brightly makes us see better and feel more keenly the abyss of misery and corruption within us, and this knowledge is one of the surest signs of progress in the ways of God and of the spiritual life. You ought to think rather more of this, not to pride yourself on it, but to be grateful for it.”
"For it is a strange blindness which leads us to aspire after perfection by the way of illuminations, of spiritual joy and consolation, the infallible result of which would be to revive ever more and more our self-love and to enable it to spoil everything...You cannot follow the path to perfection in reality except through losses, abnegation, despoilment, death to all created things, complete annihilation, and unreserved abandonment."
That is strong language; he also says this regarding such purification:
"One does not begin to know and feel one's spiritual miseries until they begin to be cured." (a passage from Fenelon that deCassuade often quoted)
And of periods of rapid progress thereby:
”When this storm is past you will...not know how, sufficiently, to thank God for having been so good as to put His own hand to the work, and to operate within your soul in a few months, what with the help of ordinary grace would have taken you, perhaps, twenty years to accomplish, namely, to get rid of a hidden self-love, and of a pride all the more dangerous in being more subtle and more imperceptible. From this poisonous root grows an infinite number of imperfections of which you are scarcely conscious...You would have run a great risk of remaining for a long time subject to these defects, filled, almost without suspecting it, with vanity and self-confidence without either power or will to sound the profound abyss of perversity and natural corruption that you had within your soul...The. Heavenly physician has therefore treated you with the greatest kindness in applying an energetic remedy to your malady, and in opening your eyes to the festering sores which were gradually consuming you, in order that the sight of the matter which ran from them would inspire you with horror. No defect caused by self-love or pride could survive a sight so afflicting and humiliating. I conclude from my knowledge of this merciful design that you ought nether the desire nor to hope for the cessation of the treatment to which you are being subjected until a compete cure has been effected. At present you must brace yourself to receive many cuts with the lancet, to swallow many bitter pills, but go on bravely, and excite yourself to. filial confidence in the fatherly love which administers these remedies.”
To another of the nuns under his direction he wrote:
“I greatly approve, my dear Sister, of the patience with which you endure the great emptiness you experience in your soul. By this you will make more progress in one month than you would in several years of sweetness and consolation…It is necessary to traverse this desert to reach during this life the promised land.”
Real progress, then, is often unrecognized, or even discounted, by a person with various preconceptions as well as an inadequate understanding of how the process often actually works.
It came to me that this is also a very important point worth considering: deCaussade uncannily seems to point out an important essential purpose of spiritual initiation, which is often lost on the disciple expecting - and sometimes even apparently promised - a never-ending path of star-studded inner experiences from that point on:
"The ineffable consolations experienced by this good Sister before she fell into this state of obscurity and dryness, was only a merciful kindness of grace, intended to gain the foundation and centre of the soul in which God wished to establish His dwelling and from thence to work insensibly."
You see? Initiation does formally contact us with the Master, certainly, but - except in the case of rare prepared initiates - are only early graces to capture our attention so that the long process of dismantling the ego can begin. As all the mystics of the Church attest, for instance, these experiences are 'sweets' to entice us to begin spiritual practice and not merely succumb to a gross worldly life of illusion.
deCaussade explains further:
"You must remember that in almost everyone there is such a depth of self-love, weakness or misery, that it would be impossible for us to recognize any gift of God in ourselves without being exposed to spoil and corrupt it by imperceptible feelings of self-complacency. In this way we appropriate as our own the graces of God, and are pleased with ourselves for being in such and such a state. We attribute the merit to ourselves, not, perhaps, by distinct and studied thought, but by the secret feeling of the heart. Therefore, God, seeing the innermost recesses of the heart, and being infinitely jealous of His glory, is obliged in order to maintain it, and to protect Himself against these secret thefts, to convince us, by our experience of our utter weakness. It is for this purpose that He conceals from us nearly all His gifts and graces. There are hardly more than two exceptions to this rule; on the one hand beginners who require to be attracted and captured through their sense, and on the other hand great saints who, on account of having been purified of self-love by innumerable interior trials are able to recognize in themselves the gifts of God without the least feeling of self-complacency, nor even a glance at themselves. For my part I can bear witness to this constant action of divine Providence. God has so completely hidden from those who have appealed to me, the gifts and graces which he has loaded them, that they cannot see their own progress, nor their patience, humility and abandonment, nor even their love for God...On this account God withdraws what He has given, but He does not take it away to deprive us of it absolutely. He withdraws it to give it back in better way, after it has been purified from this malicious appropriation made by us without our perceiving it. The loss of the gift prevents the feeling of proprietorship, and this gone, the gift is returned a hundredfold."
And to another under his guidance, he wrote:
"I have always thought...that the time would come when God, desiring to be the only support of your soul, would withdraw from you these sensible props without even allowing you to learn in what way He could supply all that of which He had deprived you. This state I must own is terrible to nature, but in this terrible state, one simple "Fiat," uttered very earnestly in spite of the repugnance experienced in the soul, is an assurance of real and solid progress. Then there remains nothing but bare faith in God, that is to say, an obscure faith despoiled of all sensible devotion, and residing in the will, as St. Francis of Sales says. Then it is, also, that are accomplished to their utmost extent the words of St. Paul when he said, "We draw near to God by faith," and, "the just man lives by faith." (55)
I am happy to say that I have finally found a rare reprinted copy of some of the works by Guillore, a spiritual director highly regarded by deCaussade. Here are some of his thoughts on monitoring progress. I will quote freely as it is in the public domain:
“There is a great deal of anxiety often felt by holy souls as to their progress. Such persons torment themselves uselessly, and turn the very blessings with which they are endowed into bitterness. There is a remedy for this common malady, and two considerations which will throw light upon the subject. You know that there is a holy impatience for greater nearness to God, greater perfection; the soul languishes under its yearnings, and sighs to be transformed into His Likeness, for whom it craves. This longing is the sole work of the Holy Spirit, and the test thereof is that such a soul is not disquieted or restless…The secret of all these unregulated desires after perfection is that self is at the bottom: these persons would fain be perfect for their own sake, their pride is wounded by the consciousness of their sin and weakness, and thence springs impatience. They want to see an immediate result of their efforts, and will not wait till patience obtains her “perfect work.” They seek to rush headlong into the secrets of the hidden life, and have no notion of waiting meekly in obscurity, till such time as it may please God to give them more light. Then they are disheartened by their falls, and the spectacle of their own faults casts them down, and it is in vain to set before them that this all arises from an unmortified will, and that holy gifts must be sought for in a quiet spirit; nothing calms their restless desire to examine into their own progress."
"But if you would really advance in the spiritual life strive to be at peace notwithstanding your ardent desire after perfection. Leave the whole question of progress to your director. Why should you pervert God’s good seed into thorns and thistles? Why extract trouble and anxiety from the loving grace with which He fills your heart?…God requires of you to labour after spiritual progress, but He never requires that you should know what amount of progress you have made."
"If you neglect this rule, you will have nothing save trouble and perplexity, and probably, if on the other hand you are satisfied that you are making good progress, that very satisfaction will undo the work;—self-esteem is the poison of all holiness. Real detachment will put away all inclination to weigh your own merits, and true humility never perceived its own gifts; it is only alive to its endless imperfections and faults. Be sure that all this restless self-dissection is merely a pretext for indulging pride and self-consciousness, and it can bear no good fruit, for no holy soul ever conceived itself to have made any great strides in goodness.”
”God would have the soul He favors unconscious of what He is doing, so that His leadings may be perfectly free…It may be asked whether it is possible for anyone to be led by these extraordinary ways, and not know it? Most possible, and of daily occurrence. Those whom God is leading by special trials and temptations have no idea that they are enduring anything great…Divine simplicity is incapable of perceiving what it really is in itself; and these souls which are most favored of God are farthest from imagining themselves to be in any way different from others." (56)
Regarding the latter, recall St. Augustine’s words:
“Brethren, rather than you would think yourself better or even different from other men, I would that you should return to the world.”
This is likely the hardest thing for many spiritual seekers to do. One could say it takes courage and a rare faith, but it is really simply inevitable at some point. There is obviously a two-edged sword: if we stop caring for our progress, won’t we just be adrift? But if we don’t let the concern go, how will we ever drop anchor or find safe portage in the storm?
“A loving faith in the inherent goodness of God will lead one to make wonderful progress without much ongoing effort on the part of an aspirant.” - Kirpal Singh
“The practice of accepting at each moment the present state in which God places us, can keep us in peace of mind and cause us to make great progress without undue eagerness. Besides this is a very simple practice. We should adhere to it strongly but nevertheless with an entire resignation to whatever God requires about it.” - deCaussade (57)
These are some possibilities for pondering! If the process described here is not yours at the moment, rest easy, and file this for future reference if and when the need for it arises.
For an additional detailed and balanced overview about the idea of progress, the student may also consider the following chapters from The Notebooks of Paul Brunton: "The Measure of Progress” (http://paulbrunton.org/notebooks/2/2) and "Uncertainties of Progress” (http://paulbrunton.org/notebooks/2/3).
And if the reader is not already overwhelmed with what may be a new way of looking at the subject, we will not leave without presenting what some may feel as another bombshell pinnacle to quote from Sri Nisargadatta;
“No ambition is spiritual. All ambitions are for the sake of the ‘I am’. If you want to make real progress you must give up all idea of personal attainment. The ambitions of the so-called Yogis are preposterous. A man’s desire for a woman is innocence itself compared to the lusting for an everlasting personal bliss. The mind is a cheat. The more pious it seems, the worse the betrayal.” (58)
This is gyan of course, and not standard Sant Mat. But before casting it aside as rubbish, consider the meaning intended by the sage. This is first of all not a beginner’s teaching. It is founded, moreover, on a deep grasp of the limitations of starting with the assumption of the conventions of ordinary living, such as “there is a body and I am in it” (and therefore must get out of it, to not suffer, to be free, etc.), only to eventually discard them upon full realization at some imagined future date. Rather, it invites one, regardless of the practices he chooses to engage, to also question any and all such assumptions:
“Begin to question. The most obvious things are the most doubtful. Ask yourself such questions as: ‘Was I really born?’ ‘Am I really so-and-so?’ ‘How do I know that I exist?’ ‘Who are my parents?’ ‘Have they created me, or have I created them?’ ‘Must I believe all I am told about myself?’ ‘Who am I anyway?’ You have spent so much energy building a prison for yourself.Now spend as much on demolishing it...All hangs on the idea 'I am'. Examine it very thoroughly. It lies at the root of every trouble. It is a sort of skin that separates you from the reality. The real is both within and without the skin, but the skin is not real. This 'I am' idea was not born with you. You could have lived very well without it." (59)
Inquire thus, at least from time to time - if one is drawn by the inner urge or attraction to do so. It can serve as a complement to meditation, and lead to greater insight overall when not meditating, that is, in becoming more present in daily to the truth of ones being. But of course, it is not required.
Ishwar Puri remarks that once a soul is initiated by a perfect Master his karmic account is finished, and - I believe Kirpal Singh also agreed with this - unless there is serious backsliding this will be his last life in bondage, irregardless of spectacular success in meditation. In essence, as Soamiji said, we are to 'make our faith and love firm and leave all the rest is in the hands of the Master,' who will even accomplish the shabd meditation and everything else for us. But generally it takes a while to acquire the confidence, or be left with the final option, to make this kind of mental surrender.
A paradox then, isn't it? To be fastidious in noting each and every bit of results and simultaneously being detached and unconcerned with results? Is it even possible? Better then to take to the easy path of surrender that the masters offer. But it seems to be the case that this is only really possible when it becomes the only option one has left. Until then, worry, anxiety and guilt offer a powerful argument for the continuation of struggle. Still, the masters with open arms repeatedly make the 'good news' of this offering available to us all. After all the master at heart "is more of a benevolent philanthropist than a teacher handing out marks at an examination" (PB) - unless we want it otherwise.
Kirpal once said that for the devotee who follows the commandments there is "continuous upward inner progress from day to day." This may have led some to despair, when the aforesaid progress was not so readily forthcoming. But Kirpal didn't always talk this way, nor do most other gurus, whether in Sant Mat or elsewhere. And, perhaps apart from the terminal stages of the path, such progress is not really possible. So it seems counter-productive to expect it, chart it or constantly grade it. The path is never such a straight line - that is only the dream of the ego - but rather a rhythmic, cyclical and spiral movement, with apparent ascents and descents through a number of stages and levels. It is a difficult and unpredictable process when looked at from the human point of view.
CHAPTER FIVE
Why don’t Masters take you up right away; The first mansion of spirituality is self-knowledge; The chalice must be ready; Patient endurance is the way to enlightenment; There is no failure"
Briefly mentioned in Part One, this kind of question often comes up: why do not the Masters enlighten us instantly since they are omnipotent and all compassion? There are a number of reasons. Our hopes and desires are one thing, but truth is always better. First of all, there is this recorded experience of one initiate to ponder:
"At initiation I failed to have any inner experience, and when everyone was gone, I told Surat Singh. Surat Singh encouraged me to bring up the problem with Maharaj Ji [Kirpal Singh]. I told Maharaj Ji, "My friend here assured me that You would give me a glimpse of my Divine Home. But that has not been my experience." "As for taking you up there," He said, "it could be done, but in your present condition you will not be able to stay there; nor when you come back would you be able to carry on with your normal life on earth." I then asked, "But would you indeed take me there at the time of my death?" Maharaja Ji said that assurance he had already given at the initiation. However, I need not wait till then, and He advised me to carry on regularly with my meditations as instructed."
"I returned home and sat down for meditation that evening. I soon entered into a state of samadhi and the Sound Current was so strong and so sweet that the three hours within seemed as three minutes. This went on from day to day, and a month later I visited Maharaj Ji. He asked me what I heard inside, and one by one He Himself mentioned the names of various musical instruments for me to confirm. That evening when I returned home, I could not hear the Sound Current at all; it was the same from thence onwards: It was clear that whatever I had received, came from the Master by His grace, and He knew all that I was going through." (60)
Masters don't enlighten us immediately because they can't. Otherwise why didn't Christ or Buddha do it? Some, a relative few, may be able to grant us a glimpse, or even a transport under cover in a "protective bubble" to higher planes (and even here they do not work capriciously but in surrender to a higher power), but to stay there requires the soul's cooperation. After all, it is "Self (and not some 'other') Realization" we are talking about. Another reason is that it could be dangerous. There are stories in Sufism of death being the price to pay for such enlightenment. The etheric body might be damaged beyond repair. Thirdly, only here can karmic debts be paid off, and the longer one remains in a human body the more karmic debts are cleared. This is one reason the pain and suffering we undergo should satisfy us on a deeper level. Fourth, only here on earth can we more easily awaken fully. This is discussed in sections on the Waking State in Part One. Being "immersed in the inner bliss" is not all there is to enlightenment, and one can be trapped for literally eons in such states without understanding, which the Masters do not want. After bliss, moreover, comes peace, then insight, and only then nirvana, according to the Buddha. And fifth, only here can binding vasanas be eradicated or rendered harmless.
The issues of vasanas or samskaras is addressed in standard Sant Mat in a way that often sounds like your karmic tendencies are only burnt like seeds in a frying pan when you go through Daswan Dwar, or take a dip in the pool of nectar or manasarovar (literally, “the lake of mind”), but that doesn’t seem complete right to me. For most people it amounts to wishful thinking, even a sadhana of spiritual bypassing, and a hope for an easy way out. Maybe that was Faqir’s point in Secret of Secrets. Having that experience may affect the Sanchit storehouse in some way, I can’t say, but I haven’t seen evidence it does in the life of any initiate, anymore than any inner experience - in itself - is transformative apart from a basic life-level sadhana.
In his book Secret of Secrets, Faqir Chand seems to want to expose this as another fallacy about Sant Mat. He writes that because he still has dreams it shows that Masters are still under the influence of samskaras, even if they meditate on the shabd. He claims he wrote to Sawan Singh three times asking him if he still had dreams and got no reply. He felt that meditation on naam does not purify vasanas or samskaras. His own guru Shiv Brat Lal had dreams, too.
In a way I think he is right, but in another way I think he is wrong. As will be argued below, meditation on the sound current is probably not enough in itself to eradicate all karmas, i.e., vasanas. However, it is also no big deal that even Masters - and everybody who sleeps - even animals - have dreams! Many Masters do not sleep very much, but when they do, they have dreams. If they are in a superconscious state the Masters are not sleeping but meditating, so that doesn't count. When asked if he slept, Kirpal Singh said "an hour or two, what's the harm in it?" Sri Nisargadatta said that his identity was not affected by sleep:
"The three states rotate as usual - there is waking and sleeping and waking again, but they do not happen to me." (61)
Actually, I think we can distinguish between samskaras and vasanas. After all there are two words. We could probably with some justification say that all vasanas are samskaras, but all samskaras are not vasanas. Vasanas implies more of an inherited and instinctual, as well as, compulsive or reactive tendency, while samskaras could mean almost anything related to memory and experience. Even the experience or memory of a world could be considered a samskara. And, as everything experienced still exists in the Universal Memory, which is accessed in sleep and dreams, saying a saint or sage still has dreams does not tell us much about their basic spiritual freedom. So here Faqir, perhaps in an attempt to humanize the Gurus, seems to make a stir about something of not much real importance. The important thing is to drain off the power of the compulsive emotional vasanas, which is the primary intruder, and, which is somewhat more advanced, that of the mental habits which are often almost impossible to break. Here we are speaking of beliefs, views, and assumptions, including such most basic ones such as "I am a something in a body in a world out there." That comes only through a perpetual exercise of gyan or philosophic discernment. It can be achieved through mystical experience, which is how Brunton first got it, with some accompanying understanding, but we won't worry about that part right now.
"But what about love and devotion?" Yes, of course, but don't go looking for a way out now. One topic at a time is all our mind can process. There will be plenty of time for that in due course. What we are discussing now must be said in order to avoid sugar-coating the path too much. An initiate writes:
"Kirpal has written several places that the most karma is burned off during dreams. It has been my experience that my dreaming has intensified in quantity and intensity...often spontaneously penetrating into long meditation sittings. This I understand as follows. Burning karma is not a literal "burning", it is rather nonjudgmental observation and release of doership. But I have often experienced a sense of burning when strong desires are involved, say in sexuality or intense relationships, where a magnetic-like pull happens. It feels (to me) as if my skin is being pulled off and/or some distant part of myself is calling/writhing to be satisfied/gratified. This always reminds me of Master Darshan's words: "But I take my delight on the cold blooded murder of my desires."
In the book Heart to Heart Talks Kirpal did say karma gets cleared in dreams. He didn’t spell out exactly how that happens, except for mentioning that some can have the strange experience of actually reliving a past lifetime as if on a movie screen. He did say when asked that it is the Master or Master-Power that does it, not you. So far, I’ve never had that cool-sounding experience, but I do notice over the years that my dream life becomes more simplified and synchronous with major themes that are becoming conscious in waking life.
Fundamentally it is waking life that is the crux.
Elder Paissos of Mt Athos used to say, when reactions like anger comes up, “hold it until the steam comes out of your ears!” Of course he was a mature and serious personage. That may not always be appropriate, but most of the time it is. Don't worry what some psychologists might say. It is not suppression because the conflict is right out front on the surface of one’s consciousness. That is tapas. For another kind of personality it might be tapas to get angry. But it is the reaction that is key. Generally this gets easier as we get older on the path, either from knowing ourselves better and/or a throwing in the towel of self-effort - in a positive way!
A diary process is supposed to help reveal the garbage at the bottom of the well of the subconscious. It can get degraded into just trying to be good and avoiding being bad, but that’s a start. It’s not the direct approach of Dzogchen, or the transmutative one of tantra, but the beginner or “sutra” method as described in Buddhist paths.
St. Teresa of Avila said “the first mansion of spirituality is self-knowledge.” Kirpal said “self-knowledge precedes God-knowledge.” That can be interpreted in two ways. One, you need to first realize your soul in Sach Khand before you can go on to realize “God” in Anami or wherever it is. The second interpretation, and the one relevant to the diary or self-introspection, is, in street talk, you’ve got to realize what a "jerk" you really are quite often underneath the veneer of a noble persona! In many respects we are like grubs, yet we think we are pure gold. In other words, without becoming mired in deep despair, a process has got to be enacted to enable - or force - the ego one way or another to come out of hiding and show itself. Sooner or later for most of us we go through it in one form or another. We might as well be honest with ourselves and not give false promises. The Sants who give experiences first are in part luring one in with sweets and trying to soften the blow of such a revelation.
Of course, the ego is not all bad either and must also be developed. It depends on how one defines what ego is. Faqir is good for pointing out how important a balanced development is. Brunton is very big on the need for developing and balancing all sides of the personality (knowing, feeling, willing - or the head, the heart, and the hand (action), while simultaneous developing spiritually.
A problem, however, is that as soon as one sets up an ideal, the ego or subconscious will often be right there knocking that down. Or providing you with a nice spiritual path making goo-goo eyes at a master, and where you seem to be succeeding. What we are talking about here is where the rubber meets the road, the guts of the path, where karma is transformed, the base metal is refined into gold, where what can never be lost is gained and stays with you forever, even when the show is over.
Regarding strong reactions, Judith Lamb-Lion advised, “Wait until the mud settles.” Good advice when you can. Especially for important decisions, or you simply don’t know what to do. But, of course, often we must just go on, with no time to gather our wits, with whatever grit we have in us like a soldier on the march, and endure the revelation of what we’re made of. That’s where plain endurance comes in. Maybe it boils down to “who can take it?” It all works out in the end, however.
“Patient endurance is the way to enlightenment,” says the Buddha.
Continuing with our theme of progress, PB even suggests a well-considered break from periods of formal meditation may be useful at times :
"He should realize the wisdom of setting up for himself the ideal of a balanced, integral development. If he needs to develop along other lines in order to balance up, the abstention from meditation for periods will do him no harm...The difficulty for many aspirants in attaining such an admirably balanced character lies in their tendency to be obsessed by a particular technique which they followed in former births but which cannot by itself meet the very different conditions of today." (62)
Baba Gurinder Singh said:
"It is not necessary to keep on trying to measure your progress all the time. The only thing is to keep the right direction. You do what you can, some people more, some less, so let it be like that [the main point]. All these notions of how fast or how slow you're travelling are still a matter of concentrating on the ego and its progress. It may be developing more virtues, improving itself, getting rid of some of its faults. But you never know. In a new situation, you may develop new errors, mistakes. How can you measure? You can't measure accurately. The ego doesn't really know whether it is progressing or regressing, and certainly not whether it's going to attain. You can't get an exact date when you'll be free of all this business which keeps you down here on earth. The best thing is not to worry about it. Let it go. Which means, to let the ego go, and thereby find peace of mind."
"All the excitement that Ramakrishna had - that he was going to plunge the sword into himself if God didn't give him enlightenment - all unnecessary. He could have gotten it anyway, even if he didn't threaten God. He really didn't get it until he was visited by the monk who told him there was more to do. Then he got enlightenment really. Until then he thought he had found it. He used to practice meditation on Jesus, Mohammed, and others, having union with their Gods. But the final idea is not that. It's not you uniting with God, but forgetting you. God does all the action." (63)
And ultimately, this 'action' also may means something like the death or outshining of the separate ego-and-perhaps-even-soul-identity itself. Consider, what is the worst thing, in essence, that the usual spiritual seeker or meditator can imagine in the beginning stages of his journey? That which really can't be imagined, but I will tell you what I think. It is to be reduced of all ability to feel any interiority to himself, to be emptied of the capacity to exercise any spiritual exercise of introversive meditation, the complete dispersal of attention without, and maybe not even to just feel a sense of presence, with the latter withdrawn - in short, to be made void. And neither from ignorance or depravity, but just to be tried in the fire, whether or not one believes that is necessary. To really to know his emptiness, not just analytically in a Tibetan Buddhist sense of knowing the 'interdependent origination of all phenomena', or to experience a deep mediative Void, but to be personally emptied of all tangible power of the soul, naked before God with nothing to take credit for, no good works to justify one's salvation. No Master or other person can prevent this rotting out of your own being from happening; indeed, it is the Self within that is doing it. This, no doubt, is a special and extreme situation, but stands as an example of a point where self-introspection is shown at this level for what it is: no longer solely a means to remember the Master and higher power - which in the beginning it well may be - but the last attempt of an ego to save itself. And although one is left for a time feeling without a rudder or guiding light, this harrowing process of inner emptying is actually the best thing that could happen; the void that opens up is in fact ones true Self calling one home or seeking to emerge. This 'death', as all traditions tell us, is in a sense even an illusory one, although it will seem very real when it happens - that is, until one gets used to it and surrenders into the source of one’s true joy.
The issue of 'progress' can be very difficult to pin down if one looks at a variety of teachings, and considers a variety of stages of maturity among aspirants at each one. For instance, as discussed in "The Depths of This Thing" and "Not a One-Shot" (at www.mountainrunnerdoc.com), one might accept a basic classification of stages for a framework of discussion such as the four Buddhists stages: stream enterer, once-returner, non-returner, and Arhant (with additional, liberated stages beyond these basic four). These could, on a certain manner of understanding, correspond to the 'four lives to enlightenment' doctrine sometimes spoken of in Sant Mat. [This is not so completely unique of a teaching as it may seem at first glance; in the Yoga-Vasishta it is said that those who associate with a jnani will attain mukti in four or five lifetimes. However, having said that, Kirpal said that the four lifetime statement in Sant Mat was actually not accurate but that there four general stages, which could be passed in one life]. These are not arbitrary stages, nevertheless, nor are all required in every life - moreover, it is hard for us to discern what stage one is in - it takes at least a Master to know. But basically they correlate to integration and transcendence of the physical, emotional-psychic, and mental 'hindrances' or karmas, as well as the fundamental root ignorance of egoity. This takes one, in Sant Mat terms, perhaps, to the super-causal level (~Arhat), where the individuated soul is free of birth and death, but not yet non-dually realized as it is in Sach Khand, the first of, in this system, the 'God-realizing' stages. But there are many factors to consider regarding progress. It all take decades and lifetimes for most of us, and it is very hard to look at the average practitioner of a path and evaluate the universal efficacy of the techniques, as we would have to look at many things: (1) how wisely do they practice; (2) how diligent are they; (3) what is their karmic situation; (4) how ‘advanced’ were they when they started; (5) and various other factors, including last but not least, grace. Then we would have to evaluate how they would have progressed on another path with another teacher. Who has the intuition to comprehend all of this? Even great masters often demonstrate an inability to evaluate such things, especially comparing various paths to ascertain their relative strengths and weaknesses.
Concentrating at the ajna chakra, for instance, can lead to different results for different practitioners of different paths. Chakras are doorways to different dimensions of experience, but what happens when working with a particular chakra depends not only on what chakra is the focus, but also - most importantly - on the understanding, maturity, and quality of awareness of the practitioner. In Sant Mat one is only concerned with one chakra. If one does vipassana, however, in the ajna center, which is certainly an option, then one will have a very different set of experiences than if one is willful, concentration-based, and seeks to ignore the rest of the body and emotions. There is a whole spectrum of possible ways to practice at the ajna or any chakras. We cannot easily make generalizations about the effects of chakra-centered meditations as it much depends on other factors. The nada and gazing meditations as usually taught these days in Sant Mat are a kind of middle path between the attitude of vipassana and the attitude of excessive inversion/concentration such as in the Buddhist jhanas. They are a hybrid path that is supposed to allow withdrawal of sensory currents to take place, but very patiently, without striving or efferting in a goal-oriented, willful fashion - except that leaving the body is still generally considered as the main goal. It is taught that one should focus at the third eye center with complete relaxation, patience, and without agenda (but on the other hand, keep track of all your experiences to see if you are progressing). This will sometimes lead to samadhi solely through technique, but ideally not until the lower chakras are adequately illuminated by the process. Sometimes it is admitted that one should not go up until all karmas are paid off. Kirpal wrote:
"If a Master were to take a disciple up without his debts being fully paid up, those same debts would become an obstacle to further progression - because the disciple would not then like to remain in the world, but be forever immersed in the inner bliss." (64)
Note how the above might also be construed as hinting that the final goal is not just to leave the body, as some other Sant Mat teachers have also said - although not usually to beginners. Now, one might fault Sant Mat for under-emphasizing the importance of teaching extensively about the importance of the quality or attitude of the meditator in the practice. There are those that maintain too much of a striving mode, which means some will rise above the body as an expression more of technique, rather than overall ripeness. So when looking at such practitioners, their character may not be very unusual, but they are doing the practice in the wrong spirit, and have risen above the body prematurely. But, statistically speaking, only a fairly small percentage of practitioners get - ripely - to that stage in this lifetime. One need not hurry or worry, however, because in Sant Mat the progression is in the hands of the Master-Power, and one may be enlightened at the times of death, or permitted to continue on the inner planes, and these or any future rebirth will all be auspicious. And furthermore, nothing is stopping anyone from being and enjoying the Heart right now. Except that we stand in our own light and do not let the false self be effaced. But the great open secret is that actually even that is not necessary. Only a simple let-be. Thus one may appreciate that it is really important to get over a concern with the notion of time, which is part of illusion. If in one's life he finds that the concerns, memories, and events are becoming more and more like a passing dream, to that extent he is moving closer to the source of the mind, that is, to Reality.
But not everyone may at all times feel suited to this kind of path, so one may not be able to measure one's stage of development by comparing oneself solely to this model. A 'karma yogi' will not be learning to withdraw from the body (or only eventually, slowly, patiently, for most). And a 'vipassana yogi' will never rise above the body as a rule, unless they switch to inversion practices. It may come as a surprise to a Sant Mat practitioner that every legitimate, authentic path has not had as its goal that of leaving the body. So, one can possibly have a 'non-returner' practicing zazen who has never traversed inner planes, and a willful inversion yogi who has gotten to Trikuti, but is only at the first stage of awakening (stream-entry). This topic is complicated, as one can see. Do not struggle with this material if it is not useful. The moral of the story is that we need to be careful in trying to understand all of this, in comparing paths, and in using practitioners of those paths as examples of what must or should happen on those paths. [Note: differences between Buddhist vipassana and concentrative jhanas or absorptions, and the concentrative inversions or samadhis on mystical paths are discussed in Part Two of this book].
There is also the unpredictable fact that the action of the divine Power will stir up much in the disciple; this relates to the dark night experience, but not entirely. Swami Muktananda described how all of his faults were brought to the surface after experiencing much bliss at the feet of his Guru:
"Where had my rapture, my ecstasy gone? My pride and elation had been taken away, and I was suddenly the same poor, miserable wretch that I had been before meeting Nityananda.. My mind was filled with remorse. Where was my earlier intoxication? Alas, what had happened?..My peace of mind had been destroyed, and all my thoughts were leading me into a deep melancholy...My body was sore all over, and my head was hot with anger, fear, and worry that danced around inside me..I cannot write the horrible thoughts that filled my mind, but - it's true - I had them. I was obsessed with impure, hateful, and sinful thoughts...I was assailed by all sorts of perverse and defiling emotions...The whole universe was on fire. A burning ocean had burst open and swallowed up the whole earth. An army of ghosts and demons surrounded me...At the time, I had not heard nor read about such a state. I had only heard pompous talk about Vedanta and explanations of its verses...My Guru worship and the mantra Guru Om, Guru Om disappeared. Instead, in their place came a powerful sexual desire. Who knows where it had been hiding all this time? It completely possessed me. ..I could think of nothing but sex! My whole body boiled with lust, and I cannot describe the agony..I tried to explain it to myself in some way, but I couldn't...I felt frightened, ashamed, discontented. It started to affect my brain. I brooded, and my anxiety grew. I thought, "This disaster is the result of some terrible sin"...I sat there in deep depression. I began to be afraid of all women. My courage had waned. I was afraid I might indulge in wanton behavior. I kept thinking of all the sadhakas of former times who had fallen from yoga, deviated from the path, and destroyed all their good karma. I remembered the stories of Ajamila, Surdas, and even saint Tulsidas, and wept. The overwhelming power of Kamaraja, the king of lust, terrified me." (65)
Kind of hard to fit this into the diary! This is included here solely to make one aware of its possibility. And there is one more thing: in the schools of tantra, a principle is noted called Yoga Bhoga Yathae, i.e., that sometimes one can not get rid of an obsession without, if not indulging, at least permitting it. Traditional yogis say such an approach is akin to pouring fuel on a raging fire, and in many cases this is true. But with grace at other times it may not be so, but rather, invoke a trust in the wisdom of embracing the shadow side of oneself.
One more point. Brunton wonderfully summarizes the need for preparation, as well as the "2.0+" vision:
"...the influx of Spirit needs a chalice clean enough to be fit for it, large enough to hold it. What would happen if the influx were poured into a dirty, cracked, tiny, and weak vessel?...Another reason for the need of the Long Path's preparatory work is that the mind, nerves, emotions, and body of the man shall be gradually made capable of sustaining the influx of the Solar Force, or Spirit-Energy...What is the purpose of this Long Path inner work upon himself? It is to clear a way for the inflow of grace, even to the most hidden parts of his character."
“The notion that the truth will be gained, that happiness will be achieved, that the Overself will be realized at the end of a long attempt must be seen as an illusory one. Truth, happiness, and the Overself must be seen in the Present, not the future, at the very beginning of his quest, not the end, here and now. It is not a matter of time. This is because time is a trick the mind plays on itself; because the past, the present, and the future are all rolled into one eternal NOW; because what is to happen has already happened." (66)
There is no failure
Lest one lose heart at times, Sri Nisargadatta states a wonderful truth, echoed by countless masters through the ages:
"There is no question of failure, neither in the short run nor in the long. It is like traveling a long and arduous road in an unknown country. Of all the innumerable steps there is only the last which brings you to your destination.Yet you will not consider all previous steps as failures. Each brought you nearer to your goal, even when you had to turn back to by-pass an obstacle...Nobody ever fails in Yoga. It is all a matter of the rate of progress. It is slow in the beginning and rapid in the end. When one is fully matured, realization is explosive. It takes place spontaneously, or at the slightest hint. The quick is not better than the slow. Slow ripening and rapid flowering alternate. Both are natural and right." (67)
CHAPTER SIX
A note on perfecting oneself
All the saints and philosophers say that only God is perfect, and not any man. And that if God is perfect, then the divine plan is also perfect. In Sant Mat it is often said that we are called to become conscious co-workers of that plan. Lest one becomes inflated with their self-importance, however, this should be considered:
“The World-Idea [i.e., the Divine Plan] is perfect. How could it be otherwise since it is God’s Idea? If we fail to become a co-worker with it, nothing of its perfection will be lost. If we do, we add nothing to it.” - Brunton (68)
What exactly does perfecting oneself mean? While we, reduced to nothing, do not add to it, we can harmonize ourselves with it. In whatever way one may imagine such perfection, however, it is probably not the genuine thing. For a perspective on an aspirant hindered by a spiritual blindness who seeks perpetually to ascend into light, with little or no self-understanding, or snags along the way, we turn to Jean-Pierre deCaussade, who wrote:
"You cannot follow the path of perfection in reality except through losses, abnegation, despoilment, death to all things, complete annihilation, and unreserved abandonment. We need not be astonished when we experience affliction, when even our reason totters, that poor reason so blind in the ways of faith; for it is a strange blindness which leads us to aspire after perfection by the way of illumination, of spiritual joy and consolation, the infallible result of which would be to revive even more and more our self-love and to enable it to spoil everything."
And more:
"To feel no surprise at ones miseries is a good beginning for a humility founded on self-knowledge; but to feel no trouble at the keen and habitual recollection of them is a very great grace, and the source of a complete distrust of self, and of a true and perfect confidence in God." (69)
In short, this itself is a very good sign of progress. What progress? Quite simply, progress from a personal to a more impersonal point of view. St. John of the Cross, in The Dark Night of the Soul, tells us that
"Some of these beginners, too, make little of their faults, and at other times become over-sad when they see themselves fall into them, thinking themselves to have been saints already; and thus they become angry and impatient with themselves, which is another imperfection. Often they beseech God, with great yearnings, that He will take from them their imperfections and faults, but they do this that they may find themselves at peace, and may not be troubled by them, rather than for God's sake; not realizing that, if He should take their imperfections from them, they would probably become prouder and more presumptuous still." (70)
In this light our perfection may be found more and more in the increasing sense of distrust of self, and its attendant humility, which, so to speak, come from 'trying and failing'. According to Lao Tzu, that itself is success, or progress. We do not like to hear this, but perhaps older initiates will sense its truth.
An important point regarding 'perfecting' oneself is made by the spiritual director Guillore:
"Are we not to take the example of holy men as a role of perfection, considering that all spiritual writers and teachers continually recommend the study of their lives as one of our greatest helps in treading the paths of God? To this the answer would be we ought to study such men's lives in order to kindle our own fervour, but yet without taking them as our examples of absolute perfection. And here, let me define a precise distinction. For there is a wide difference between an aid towards, and an example of, perfection...Each man is called to an individual perfection appointed for himself, and for none besides, by God's Will, and you must strive to attain this perfection, and not stop short in the imitation of any other living being. Such imitation is often liable to lead us into extremes, and human nature always seeks out whatever is not in unison with our own inclinations. The ardent, undisciplined, youthful mind strives to mimc St. Teresa or St, Catherine of Genoa, and may even carry vanity so far as to imagine itself capable of treading in their paths of exalted spirituality...It is safer to admire than to copy those who have been endowed with extraordinary gifts...."One star differeth from another star in glory," the Apostle tells us, and the discipline which has moulded each separate star for its own particular glory was diverse. Your perfection must be your own, and not another man's." (71)
Two things: "A man's got to know his limitations," said Clint Eastwood, and, "make your own kind of music," sang Mama Cass Elliot. Example: I revere and admire my Master, Kirpal Singh, but should I try to copy all of his traits? He said, "I don't appreciate art." Does that mean I shouldn't? He started meditating at age four, and in early manhood - before he was initiated into shabd - had intense energy manifestations (such that he said he had to meditate at night standing in tanks of water to cool the 'fires' of the kundalini"). The subtle energies were activated so much that he had no problem with chastity. Michio Kushi said he had the constitution of seven men. He needed an hour or two of sleep a night, and less when he was a young man. Should I or anyone try to do the same? Could we do it and still remain a basically lovijng human being? Obviously heroic attempots to do that that would likely lead to disaster. Even in his astrological chart, with many planets in exaltation, and dynamic and well-integrated aspects, one can see he was a special being. We must be true to ourself, our capacity, and our own unique destiny. As Sri Nisargadatta said, "you must find our own way, or it will take you nowhere." To some degree at least, it is likely that one must eventually come to grips with that.
There are a couple of other things to ponder in terms of self-introspection. Besides the categories of truthfulness, love for all, non-violence, chastity, and selfless service, there are quite a few other qualities or tendencies that may be specifically important for any one person to become conscious of. These include: sloth, gluttony, pride, envy, jealousy, worry, negative fear (as opposed to 'holy fear'), courage, vigilance, patience, worry, self-doubt, self-love, hesitancy, and even more individual characteristics. One could try to squeeze all of these into the current diary form, but it probably doesn't work very well. Nor does ignoring them, for beginners. Many of these may go under what Gurdjieff called the 'chief feature' - uninspected or unconscious determinants that govern our behavior and which must become conscious. Merely trying to be 'good' and neglecting the 'shadow' side of the personality will not result in substantial progress, but rather crystalization around a squeaky clean identity that is its own form of bondage.
Then there is also the question of balance of ones character. This may seem to stray far afield from the subject of a diary, but, at least for those starting out in life with many years ahead, it bears mentioning. Paul Brunton talks a lot about developing and then achieving a balance among the qualities of feeling, thinking, and willing, or essentially, the heart, the mind, and the will. Some mystics, for instance, have an overdeveloped feeling nature, but little discrimination, or even less ability to get things done. Much of the history of mysticism that comes down to us seems to sometimes even reinforce this as a desirable trait. So it would seem to be useful to spend some time finding out one's weaknesses in these areas. This is not so much a matter of sinning or doing wrong, but of understanding what needs working on in ones development as a human being. Brunton even goes so far as to argue that the full maturation and balancing of these qualities in a spiritual aspirant leads to a fusion of them into what he calls 'insight,' or the awakened spiritual state:
"If it is to be a continuous light that stays with him and not a fitful flash, he will first, to cast out all negative tendencies, thoughts, and feelings; second, to make good the deficiencies in his development; third, to achieve a state of balance among his faculties." (72)
This first of these could be seen as coming under the heading of 'sins of omission or comission' that Sant Kirpal mentioned in the diary, but which was perhaps not explained or articulated fully to our understanding at the time. The second and third go far beyond this, and require quite a bit of self-knowledge. For instance, it would be pretty hard to see oneself not doing - or not being capable of adequately doing - something necessary to the situation, if one did not have some insight into his character development.
CHAPTER SEVEN
The self you didn’t want to realize: dark nights of the soul; “How long will you keep that pain within you?”; Buddha’s two arrows; The way of the Cross; The chakras considered as one whole, centered in the Heart; God only asks you to allow Him a free hand to accomplish His work in you
Or the little-mentioned but extremely important issue of psycho-physical purification. The cleansing of the vessel so new wine can be poured in, so the hidden splendor can begin to shine. Sant Darshan Singh referred it as “scrubbing.” As did Sri Nisargadatta - “scrubbing.” The Athonite Fathers referred to the Church as a hospital for sick souls. Indeed, at one time the University of Athens placed ‘religion’ in the school of medicine, not philosophy. When I was at Sawan Ashram Sant Kirpal Singh in fact said that I was in a hospital. So what are these great men talking about?
As mentioned, Sant Kirpal Singh in perhaps imperfect and not entirely precise language, said a number of times that the "subconscious reservoir of feelings and thoughts must be completely drained out in order for one to be filled with love for the Lord/Master."
I wonder how many of us have any idea what that would entail? That we are not only suffering the results of a fundamental ignorance [which some paths say is our only real problem], but we generally and in varying degrees are egoically adapted in a spider’s web of myriad of dimensions: in how we think, how we feel, and how we act. Judith Lamb-Lion gives a very wholistic explanation of Sant Mat teachings and says that body-mind tension and subconscious reactions kept in place by pathological, neurological, biochemical, and behavioral programming perpetuates dualistic thinking and deeply affects our perception, understanding, and judgement.
How long will you keep that pain within you?
Kirpal asked us this question. Solutions proposed, beyond the rudimentary formulaic ones, are relaxation, open-heartedness, and gratitude. All of this deep-seated programming - some concomitant with just being embodied, and some from our personal history - is of course helped but not simplistically undone by top-level attitudinal changes alone, it so deeply ingrained. To some extent those practices can be done, and should be, but really they are to a meaningful extent the fruits of a process of essentially enduring the revelation of a deep woundedness at ones core, and one’s unconscious reactions to and defenses from that, feeling and allowing and not just seeking via techniques to get rid of it or avoid or bypass it. This is actually much of the real work of the path. How many find so many things to do and so many consolations to believe to avoid falling into and confronting the existential fear, sorrow and anger underlying many of their short-comings and not-good-enough-ness, and to be "crucified" in and as the body - which is really the doorway to consciousness. We are given the body in which and by which to realize consciousness; we are not given a body just to get out of it to find consciousness. How many are willing to do this: to feel those things they do not want to feel, and to thoroughly examine and overhaul their belief system, thus chipping away at the defense structure which keeps them locked in separation and also keeps Sach Khand so mysterious and far away! How many can permit what Madame Guyon speaks of as the "soul beginning to rot," or what contemporary Saniel Bonder terms a falling away from the "hyper-masculine" approach to spirituality, where one strategically seeks to transcend life, but by which one inevitably experiences an irrevocable failure of ones efforts to become untainted by self, body, and world? How many will scratch their fingernails on the sides of the walls of the well as one slides downwards, and not allow themselves to let go and reach the blessed 'asylum of rest,' the very loving arms of the Guru, where down is now up, and all is lost yet all is found? Few spiritual seekers like that part of the process and that is one reason they run to any one or thing that offers a solution that they think will fix or prevent that - but all in vain. The Divine must simply have its way with you. And while it is not a complete secret the teachings by and large fall short in explaining what that is and how it is done.
Instead, some of the sorts of standard talks continue to speak of Sant Mat as being the only and highest truth in human history, and what the disciples need to do in this life time to avoid wasting it and to be able to rise to the level of the master's Radiant Form and to get to the destination of Sach Khand before death overtakes them! And that the only requirements for success are 2 1/2 hours a day of meditation, an ethical/seva-filled life, and satsang. A one-two-three step plan for success - or else. Wasting your life? Here is a little anecdote that speaks to that. There was an advaita teacher named John Sherman, a student of Gangaji - ex-con actually - who started giving his own satsangs and counseling. Very delightful guy. I remember one dialogue he was having with a young lady who said she was afraid of wasting her life. His direct response was, “ you can’t waste your life.” He went on from there, but the takeaway was so different from the scare story motivational techniques often employed on this path. How can one progress one inch with that underlying fear, that stress Judith talked about, lurking within one’s meditation, service, or scrupulous avoidance of a minuscule piece of egg in last night's Thai food?! Does one really believe that God or the Master as such is keeping score of his every move, every tic on a diary form, or every morsel you eat? Could one actually live a healthy and fruitful life with such a view over their head? There are general principles laid down for our consideration and use and general benefit, that is all.
Karma yoga when engaged with the right attitude has traditionally been considered a complete spiritual path, but for many people pouring themselves into seva or other ways to continually be doing something is a way of distracting themselves from the heat of practice, simmering and enquiring in the cauldron of their primal doubt and discomfort, the endurance of which could crack open the heart and allow something real to begin to happen in consciousness. Maybe, although I kind of doubt it, that was the unintentional meaning behind Gurinder’s startling “2.0” point a few years back in which he said that "seva won’t eliminate any of your karmas or help you get to Sach Khand." (I say unintentional because people at the Dera were doing lots of seva). This may be a slight improvement from the messaging in other satsangs where it is sometimes said that seva is equal to meditation in advancing you to the goal - as if it happens by magic.
But the matter of true inner transformation is a very delicate, practical, individual affair, very much on the ground, and neither a linear nor a cookie-cutter nor a magical process.
In actuality, the subconscious reservoir can not be entirely ‘drained’ out - the metaphor is not perfect - and certainly not by the disciple under his own power. The reservoir contains much of our creativity as well, so it is not all bad. And what is looked at as bad is only our developmental - call it evolutionary - history for the most part. It reflects a long learning process. Yes, we need to take a look at it, take some appropriate responsibility for it, but it is really important to try not to see oneself as fundamentally being "wrong." To feel it at times is one thing, to believe it is another, even if there were an Original Sin resulting in a fallen human nature. There is much we cannot explain, and in each tradition authority is appealed to for the answers and can always find ways to justify exceptions as well. [We will discuss more of this later, and also in Part Four in the section "Evolutionary Quandaries"]. Our provisional view is that the teachings above all should not contribute to the feeling of one's human limitations, or decisions, or even choice of guru, as being "wrong." Father Richard Rohr, in the excellent little book, Falling Upwards: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life, writes that "as clergymen, we teach that if you are not perfect, you are wrong." We have written about the quest for perfection before. This only adds unnecessary and unbearable stress. Yes, there is sometimes a skillful dance between trying to follow Christ as in "Be ye perfect as your Father in heaven is perfect," and at the same time accepting ones human imperfection. Saniel Bonder, in Great Relief: Nine Sacred Secrets Your Body Wants You To Know, speaks of the inherent paradox of incarnation as one of simultaneously being confronted with limits and the awareness of limitlessness. This just goes along with the package, and is as true of the sage as of the ordinary man. Someone once asked Ramana Maharshi why he seemed to tremble so much. He answered, "if you out an elephant into a grass hut, then?"
Buddha's two arrows
You learn to stop adding unnecessary pain to the pain that is more or less a given for our human nature. Buddha spoke of two arrows. The first results in a wound we cannot avoid, and the second is one we add to the pain caused by the first, and is an unnecessary addition. It takes some heartfelt acceptance of human limitations, and not superhuman effort, to free oneself from doing this. There will be discomfort, but you will survive. You are not a bad satsangi, a bad person, a lost soul, you have not done anything wrong. You are authentic being itself, you are fine, you have a right to be here. You will not die if you do not meditate exactly two and a half hours a day, you will not die if you do not do lots of seva, you will not die if you eat an egg, and most of all, you will not die if you stop rehearsing a belief that if you are presently not feeling great happiness then Sach Khand must be very far away. We need only stop choking ourself with all these thoughts. Have faith in God, and also in yourself. One day the Real you will come forward. This has nothing to do with following all the rules, or having all the right beliefs, or belonging to the right group. Just some trust in the Heart.
It largely boils down to endurance of what arises in the midst of a basically ordinary, well-ordered life. Remembrance and service help, but there is really no remedy or quick magic to undo a lifetime of conditioning. As humans we run from pain into pleasure. Somehow, someway, we learn to bring conscious awareness into the field of life. Sri Nisargadatta suggests this as the primary way to coax the buried pain and suffering into the light of awareness:
"Acceptance of pain takes you much deeper than pleasure does...Acceptance, non-resistance, courage and endurance - these open deep and perennial sources of real happiness, true bliss...Pleasure is readily accepted, while all the powers of the self reject pain. As the acceptance of pain is the denial of the self, and the self stands in the way of true happiness, the wholehearted acceptance of pain releases the springs of happiness."
How many of us can easily do this? Few it seems, as everything in us wars against it. Therefore, courage and endurance are really key while we try our humble best. He even made the astounding statement that "the very facts of repetition, of struggling on and on and of endurance and perseverance, in spite of boredom and despair and complete lack of conviction are really crucial." (!) He adds:
Q: "How can I set right a tangle which is entirely below the level of my consciousness?"
M: "By being with yourself, the 'I am'; by watching yourself in your daily life with alert interest, with the intention to understand rather than to judge, in full acceptance of whatever may emerge, because it is there, you encourage the deep to come to the surface and enrich your life and consciousness with its captive energies. This is the great work of awareness; it removes obstacles and releases energies by understanding the nature of life and mind." (73)
Meanwhile, the source of our consciousness, the place where it springs into awareness of mind, body, world, self, relations, and phenomena, is the Heart. The physical source of life as the heartbeat itself is in the right upper rear chamber in the sino-atrial node. The spiritual Heart is said by Ramana to be the sun to which the sahasrar is as the reflected light of the moon. Our stress and tension and angst arise from the knot at the Heart being closed, not a knot at the ajna door. Both centers have their own function and purpose, but the Heart is senior, and traditionally has always been considered so. Without that the ajna center only beckons us to a TV show.
The awakening to the Heart is not so much something that is produced, rather it is the realization of what we are and what is already the case. The Gurus intensify this consciousness - that is really their main function - but it is for us to accept it and be it. First, however, one must believe or have faith that it is there. Still, the road to full acceptance of it can be fierce, there also being, so to speak, 'a self we didn't want to realize'. Fenelon says:
"We would never die to self if He always visibly stretched out his hand to save us. God would then sanctify us in light, life, and the possession of every spiritual grace; but not upon the cross, in darkness, privation, nakedness and death. The directions of Christ are not, if any one will come after me, let him enjoy himself, let him be gorgeously apparelled, let him be intoxicated with delight, as was Peter on the mount, let him be glad in his perfection in me and in himself, and be assured that he is perfect; on the contrary, his words are: If any man will come after me, I will show him the road he must take; let him deny himself, take up his cross and follow me in a path beside precipices, where he will see nothing but death on every hand. (Matt.16:24) St. Paul declares that we desire to be clothes upon, and that it is necessary, on the contrary, to be stripped to very nakedness, that we may then put on Christ. Suffer Him, then, to despoil self-love of every adornment, even to the inmost covering under which it lurks, that you may receive the robe whitened by the blood of the Lamb, and having no other purity than his." (74)
The chakras considered as one whole, centered in the Heart
Thought must be given to develop right views and then right actions. Right actions considered as sadhana will inevitably invoke a conflict with our ego-centered position. A struggle is more or less unavoidable. The ordinary seat of purification, where the most purgation takes place, however, is in the heart. Here is where the vasanas - the compulsive, automatic, reaction-conditioned tendencies are closely guarded. And these, said Ramana Maharshi, and Kirpal Singh, must be drained away for stable spiritual development to manifest. The reason being that they are hindrances to both enquiry or meditation, as well as realizing Truth here and now. The question then raises itself, “How is it possible for this to happen if one’s practice ignores all of the centers/chakras except one - the ajna? How does the heart get purified?
If one is doing vipassana, zen shikantaza, or dzogchen, whatever is arising is grist for the mill, as they say, but what often happens in Sant Mat practice? One ignores any discomfort and tries to return his attention to the third eye. And the same happens outside of meditation as well. We are not saying the practice, at least in meditation, is wrong. But is it efficient in reaching the goal of an integral development, or can it often be a spiritual bypass? The answer to the former is sometimes, and to the latter, yes. We therefore propose the following model to work with:
The chakra system is a unified field. Where is it proven, despite the possibility for one to apparently go up and down, that one chakra is higher than another in an ultimate sense? Is there not a single whole of the body-mind-spirit? The heart is the center of the human be-ing: The physical heart, including the sino-atrial node, the source of the heartbeat [perhaps corresponding to the ‘heart on the right’ spoken of by Ramana - ?]; the heart chakra [which in some Sufi schools is the ‘King chakra’to be activated first, which then gently activating the others]; and the deeper layers of the heart chakra [physical, astral and causal spinal centers, as taught in kriya yoga]; and the spiritual Heart itself as the deep root of consciousness.
All of this needs attention if the heart is to open. So whose fault is it if this does not happen, the student’s, or the system’s? Most often, the limits are in the system, which does not do a good enough job of explaining the full unfoldment of things while confining itself to the vertical dimension. So then, what does one’s own heart say about all of this? “Just obey and listen to the Master, the mind is the enemy - kal- you are only the disciple, meek and small, and the Perfect Master is Oz, the great and powerful. Don't question too much"? Or does it feel a ring of truth and retain an inquiring attitude? All we can say to the former is that, "Yes, could be, but still, some-body's got to do it.” To be afraid of doing so appears to us as a huge stumbling block to realizing truth.
Having sald all the foregoing, perhaps a “both/and” perspective regarding the existence of sin as well as our essential ok-ness is warranted. Maybe we aren’t wrong but can do wrong and suffer from having done so. Of course our conscience tells us so. It’s kind of like truth being somewhere between the contemporary views of a Christian evolutionist like Father Rohr and that of the Orthodox Fathers who teach of Original Sin. We will not argue for one or the other, or attempt to solve the problems of creation, at this time! Suffice to say that the major unconscious karmic hindrances, vasanas or samskaras, that we are either born with or inherited, will themselves serve to prevent their own exposure. It is only well onto the path, in many cases - after a certain amount of initial love and light and awakening, perhaps, has been infused into the disciple - that the deepest purification will and can take place, and often at the apparent loss of ones ‘spirituality’. This has been said time and again by many great spiritual figures. The loss is only temporary. After the whirlwind - of "many crucifying spiritual operations and a spiritual death that follows," says deCaussade - one will become filled with true love for the Master - which is also the love OF the Master. Actually, to carry on a rear guard and be spiritually correct, we must say "how can what is empty and unreal be filled?" Yet, one way or another, Fullness will become manifest.
Again, deCaussade echoes Kirpal in saying:
"The extent to which the soul is purified in its most secret recesses is the measure of its union with the God of all holiness."
This is, what you say, 'talking turkey.' sufficient purgation or purification, and nothing less than that, will take place for the soul's purposes and the divine destiny of each individual. The job will get done. The individual cannot do it, he can only get so far; only the Higher Power or grace can accomplish such an immense, Herculean task, of course with the soul’s cooperation. For one thing, on our own we would eventually run out of time! Second, there are not exactly a finite number of faults to be 'weeded out'. They are legion (which is why sages like Ramana Maharshi speak so much about striking at the root and not the branches) - but, importantly, there are habitual reactive states held in place by core beliefs and deep wounds and their subsequent habitual actions and reactions, creating a chronic sense of insufficiency, of being not good enough, of superiority or inferiority, that govern many of our responses to life, whether that be either puffed-up pride or, equally, shame/fearful timidity/false humility - and these must be seen. I think most seasoned questors have realized by now that simply seeing one's faults, and certainly looking at them judgmentally as faults or failures, is not always the most efficient method of dealing with them. Perhaps this is why Buddhism and Advaita have made such large strides in recent years.
But the eradication of the vasanas is a major part of the spiritual process. It is not, moreover, a neat and clean, linear process; it can be very messy, to say the least! One can seemingly ‘weed out’ all failures in all categories of a diary form, and still not know oneself! For the simple mind is no match for the cunning of the ego, which might be said to be about two million years old and knows all the tricks in the book for keeping itself alive. Obedience to the inherent laws of life, however, will lead to the Lord, so to speak, 'putting His own hand to the work,' and Grace will intervene and get the job done. For an in-depth, sober assessment of all this, please see "The Deeper Meanings of the Dark Night of the Soul" (https://www.mountainrunnerdoc.com/page/page/1523597) to see what many great souls have said on this subject. We will have no right to complain when such is the answer to our prayers for grace. For it is often the Divine Way. St. John explains:
"It would indeed be very unjust to complain of this God of infinite mercy, Who alone knows how to purify your soul, a thing you would never have been able to do yourself. Your very complaints prove that you would never have had the courage to put an end to your self-love which alone impedes the reign of divine love in your heart. Bless our Lord for sparing you the trouble, and because He only asks you to allow Him a free hand to accomplish this work in you." (75)
Brunton further writes:
"The ego does not give itself up without undergoing extreme pain and extreme suffering. It is placed upon a cross whence it conniver be resurrected again, if it is truly to be merged in the Overself. Inner crucifixion is therefore a terrible and tremendous actuality in the life of every attained mystic. His destiny may not call for outer martyrdom but it cannot prevent his inner martyrdom." (76)
Sounds drastic, but he also says:
"He will come to the point where he will give upon the burden of always trying to do something for his spiritual development, the burden of believing that it rests entirely upon his own shoulders. When a man loses faith in his own goodness, to the point of despairing hopelessness, he is really ready to pray properly and practice utter dependence upon the Higher Power's grace. When he realizes that the evil in himself and in other men is so deep and so strong that there is nothing below the surface of things he can do, he is forced to turn to this power. When he abandons further trust in his own nature and clings to no more personal hopes, he really lets go of the ego. This gives him the possibility of being open to grace." (77)
Kirpal's point, then, is that a real transformation must take place. This can not be done simply by sitting down and thinking over the surface layer thoughts one has had throughout the day, while the real binding tendencies remain hidden. The divine grace must intervene. So means must be created to reveal all this. It is basically done by: satsang, that is, not in a magical way but by keeping and cultivating the inward company of the true realizer, the God in him, and the God in you, in a moment to moment way, not just on Sunday; bringing the light of awareness into the body and mind, in place of merely indulging, ignoring, or even struggling against one's egoic deformities (although that has its time and place, too); and living life with as much courage, patience and perseverance as one can in the man-body and the world, said to be the true 'womb of the buddhas'. In other words, in relationship with the demands of life one will grow in self-introspective insight and character. We thus meet, make friends with, and gradually release our shadow material over time. It is a fire, no doubt, and a very individualized education each of us is getting. Some will need to 'take a bite out of life', stand for themselves, be brave, while for others the challenge is more to be quiet, humble and contemplative. Additional key questions to ask may be, "what am I afraid of ?", and, a really big one for many is, "how often do I automatically say, 'no'?" - No to life, no to taking a chance, no to a new idea, whatever. This is not one of the 'five faults,' per se, but can still be a major block to finding out about oneself. How can one find the new and 'unexpected' if he is always expecting the 'expected'? This is really an essential quality to cultivate.
In any case, "education comes by negotiating difficulties, not by running away from them in the name of surrender," says Brunton.
"There is not actual surrender, but only self-deception, if it is made before reason, will, and self-reliance have been exhausted. There is no such easy escape out of the difficulties, financial or otherwise, as mere verbal assertion of surrender." (78)
True surrender, it seems, will only be able to be made when one is mature enough. So there is something in all of this for everybody, at every stage of practice and on every path.
CHAPTER EIGHT
'Down and in', before 'up and out': St. John of the Cross, Babuji Maharaj, Sri Aurobindo on the unwelcome necessity of radical re-wiring and the process of embodiment
Again, there is this issue of purification or purgation or transformation which is hardly talked about in many spiritual teachings. In its more extreme forms it happens not to everyone, but it happens. St. John summarized this process of purification with a metaphor of a log of burning wood (www.ccel.org/ccel/john_cross/dark_night.viii.x.html); it takes a long while before the wood stops hissing and crackling and giving off foul odors and only then burns cleanly with bright flame, filling all around with warmth and light. Furthermore, St. John speaks more in The Living Flame of Love on the hardness and aridity one feels inside as this process proceeds:
“This flame of itself is extremely loving, and the will of itself is excessively dry and hard. When the flame tenderly and lovingly assails the will, hardness is felt beside the tenderness, and dryness beside the love. The will does not feel the love and tenderness of the flame since, because of its contrary hardness and dryness, it is unprepared for this until the love and tenderness of God expel the dryness and hardness and reign within it. Accordingly, this flame was oppressive to the will, making it feel and suffer its own hardness and dryness.” (79)
And he herein recapitulates what he says in The Dark Night about this purgation:
“Spiritual writers call this activity the purgative way. In it a person suffers great deprivation and feels heavy afflictions in the spirit that ordinarily overflow into the senses, for this flame is extremely oppressive...Neither is the flame refreshing and peaceful, but it is consuming and contentious, making a person faint and suffer with self-knowledge. For it is not glorious for the soul, but rather makes it feel wretched and distressed in the spiritual light of self-knowledge that it bestows. As Jeremiah declares, God sends fire into its bones and instructs it [Lam. 1:13]; and as David also asserts, he tries it with fire [Ps. 17:3]. At this stage persons suffer from sharp trials in the intellect, severe dryness and distress in the will, and from the burdensome knowledge of their own miseries in the memory, for their spiritual eye gives them a very clear picture of themselves. In the substance of the soul they suffer abandonment, poverty, dryness, cold, and sometimes heat. They find relief in nothing, nor does any thought console them, nor can they even raise the heart to God, so oppressed are they by this flame. This purgation resembles what Job said God did to him: You have changed to being cruel toward me [Job. 30:21]. For when the soul suffers all these things jointly, it truly seems that God has become displeased with it and cruel. A person’s sufferings at this time cannot be exaggerated; they are but little less than the sufferings of purgatory...Since in this fashion God mediates and heals the soul of its many infirmities, bringing it to health, it must necessarily suffer from this purge and cure according to its sickness.” (80)
In The Dark Night of the Soul he states:
"It is clear that God grants the soul in this state the favor of purging it and healing it with this strong lye of bitter purgation, according to its spiritual and sensual part, of all the imperfect habits and affections which it had within itself with respect to temporal things and to natural, sensual and spiritual things, its inward faculties being darkened, and voided of all these, its spiritual and sensual affections being constrained and dried up, and its natural energies being attenuated and weakened with respect to all this (a condition which it could never attain of itself, as we shall shortly say). In this way God makes it to die to all that is not naturally God, so that, once it is stripped and denuded of its former self, he may clothe it anew. And thus its youth is renewed like the eagle's and it is clothed with the new man, which, as the Apostle says, is created according to God...in the newness of sense." (81)
“In the newness of sense,” suggests more than just a spiritual, but even a bodily transformation. This is almost never mentioned in Sant Mat. Even Sri Nisargadatta gives us a hint:
“When the mind has been put to rest and disturbs no longer the inner space (chidakash), the body acquires a new meaning and its transformation becomes both necessary and possible.” (82)
So this sort of thing happens and is almost to be expected at some point. It is being talked about a lot these days. And it does happen in Sant Mat, too. In remarkably similar fashion to St. John, Babuji Maharaj of the Radha Soami Satsang, Agra, offers the following, somewhat unique in the literature of this tradition, where such inner secrets have only been revealed in private:
“It is usual that the awakened Saint or Gurumukh (beloved disciple of the Guru) must go through a period of great physical depression and weakness. This is because the entire constitution of the body has to be transformed in order that it may be in harmony with the spirit in its awakened condition and be fitted to perform the work before it. This period of depression may continue over a number of years, but it is usually followed by a high degree of bodily health.”
“This physical change is absolutely essential for making appreciable spiritual progress. The capacity of the body to undergo it constitutes the limit of usefulness of the body. There have been exceptional jivas (individual souls) endowed with bodies capable of enduring in one life the whole requisite transformation without breaking. But in (such) cases the immediate physical effect of the transformation was a low and depleted bodily condition which continued for quite a number of years. After the changes have been effected, complete physical vigour usually comes back, though with a body very different in its constitution. One of its acquired characteristics is its softness and freshness like that of a babe.” (83)
Sri Aurobindo offered a yogic explanation for what appears to be a phenomenon similar to the dramatic externalization or embodiment aspect of the dark night experience; for him, too, it is a natural progression, and not just a corrective remedy for a wrong or ignorant approach. The end result, nevertheless, is not only ascent of consciousness to the Light, or freeing of the soul, but the descent of Light transforming the lower nature. This is in line with various emerging teachings:
“Most sadhaks of the old type are satisfied with rising into the spiritual or psychic realms and leave this part [the bodily or descended nature] to itself - but by that it remains unchanged, even if mostly quiescent, and no complete transformation is possible.”
“Hitherto your soul has expressed itself through the mind and its ideals and admirations or through the vital and its higher joys and aspirations; but that is not sufficient to conquer the physical difficulty and enlighten and transform Matter. It is your soul in itself, your psychic being that must come in front, awaken entirely and make the fundamental change.”
“These are things which come about almost inevitably in one degree or another at a certain critical stage through which almost everyone has to pass and which usually lasts for an uncomfortably long time, but which need not be at all conclusive or definitive. Usually, if one persists, it is a period of darkest night before the dawn which comes to every or almost every spiritual aspirant. It is due to a plunge one has to take into the sheer physical consciousness unsupported by any true mental light or by any vital joy in life, for these usually withdraw behind the veil, though they are not, as they seem to be, permanently lost. It is a period when doubt, denial, dryness, grayness and all kindred things come up with a great force and often reign completely for a time. It is after this stage has been successfully crossed that the true light begins to come, the light which is not of the mind but of the spirit. The spiritual light, no doubt, comes to some to a certain extent and to a few to a considerable extent, in the earlier stages, though that is not the case with all - for some have to wait till they can clear out the obstructing stuff in the mind, vital, and physical consciousness, and until then get only a touch here and there. But even at best this earlier spiritual light is never complete until the darkness of the physical consciousness has been faced and overcome. It is not by one’s own fault that one has fallen into this state, it can come when one is trying one’s best to advance. It does not really indicate any radical disability in the nature but certainly it is a hard ordeal and one has to stick very firmly to pass through it. It is difficult to explain these things because the psychological necessity is difficult for the ordinary human reason to understand or to accept.”
“It is always the effect of the physical consciousness being uppermost (so long as it is not entirely changed) that one feels like this - like an ordinary man or worse, altogether in the outer consciousness, the inner consciousness veiled, the action of the yoga power apparently suspended. This happens in the earlier stages also, but it is not quite complete usually then because something of the mind and vital is active in the physical still, or even if the interruption of sadhana is complete, it does not last long and so one does not so much notice it. But when from the mental and vital stage of the yoga one comes down into the physical, this condition which is native to the physical consciousness fully manifests and is persistent for long periods. It happens because one has to come down and deal with this part directly by entering it, - for if that is not done, there can be no complete change in the nature. What has to be done is to understand that it is a stage and to persist in the faith that it will be overcome. If this is done, then it will be easier for the Force, working behind the veil at first, then in front to bring out the yoga consciousness into this outer physical shell and make it luminous and responsive.” (84)
One can see here how Babuji Maharaj and Sri Aurobindo are alluding to the process described in Part One, of being aware of the body, aware in the body, and then aware as the body, specifically the aware in the body stage. Few would voluntarily submit to this; it seems that for most God or Guru must somehow do it. Come down into the body? It seems the opposite of what this path teaches. But, in fact, it is not, if it is necessary. And it seems in a sense that it is God who makes the choice.
But it is important to remember in the midst of this fire that, fundamentally, it is not “wrong,” or happening because you did or are doing something “wrong”, or because you are “wrong”, or “flawed” or a “sinner” or “evil” or a “mistake”. No, it is only the action of grace in the heart. PB writes:
“So lofty is the goal to be reached but so low is his present position, that it would be unnatural for him not to feel at times shaken by despair or oppressed by futility. Such moods, when humanity's life seems pointless and his own purposeless, when labour becomes tedious and pleasure depressing, will come over him from time to time. These dry periods, when mystical life seems boring and unreal, dull and dreary, are to be expected. They are normal experiences in every aspirant's career and their remedy is in God's hands in His good time. He is being tantalized so as to make him prize the divine visitation all the more. Most of the seekers are tried in this way. Then it also shows how helpless he is. For the last word lies with divine Grace....Accept the long night patiently, quietly, humbly, and resignedly as intended for your true good. It is not a punishment for sin committed but an instrument be subjected to its hidden operation without or within. In this way the higher power tests him, tries his faith, courage, patience, and, above all, sense of truth and capacity for discrimination. If the test reveals his weakness, then it is for hm to provide the remedy: thus in the end he is strengthened. It is not enough to recognize the Real in its own homeland alone [i.e., Sat Lok?]; he must be trained to recognize it under all conditions, even when it is hidden under thick illusion, even in the lowest ebb of the soul’s dark night. These tests, which come from both within and without, help to give this training.” (85)
We could call this 2.0+, or simply the hidden side of 1.0, unmasked.
CHAPTER NINE
An astrological model of transformation: the Uranus Station; Moving beyond the ego-structure or the ‘Ring-Pass-Not’ of Saturn
A good depiction of the ego sacrifice involved for the completion of such a “dark night” process is given brilliantly by renown astrologer Dane Rudhyar. He calls it “The Uranus Station,” wherein the aspirant moves beyond the ‘Ring-Pass-Not’ of Saturn, which astrologically rules the limits of the ego-structure.
“The Transfiguration of Jesus.. has been interpreted as the record of one of Jesus' "Initiations"; and it may well have been the culminating moment when Jesus, Son of Man, became fully identified or integrated with Christ, Son of God. But, as we seek to understand here as clearly as possible a spiritual process potentially experienceable by every individual having passed through a particular crisis of total reorientation, it is more significant to consider, not only what happened to Jesus, but the entire scene ”on the “Mount" and all the participants in this mystical event.
The key to its interpretation is provided by what the Synoptic Gospels record as previous to the Transfiguration. Jesus had asked of his disciples: "Whom say ye that I am?" and Peter had come forth impetuously with the answer: “Thou art the Christ, the Son of the living God" (Matthew 16:16). But when Jesus soon after spoke of his coming tribulations, the same Peter protested that this should not happen; and Jesus rebuked him in extremely strong language implying that Peter had, in this protest, been the very tool of the Tempter.
This interplay of forces between Peter and Jesus is most significant, because Peter here represents the typical "disciple" with an intense urge toward the spiritual life, yet with a still strong mental dependence upon ordinary earthly values. And, in every individual following the Illumined Road there is a Peter as well as a Jesus. Peter, here, is the symbol of the ego-consciousness suddenly able to recognize at its innermost core the reality of the God-seed, but as yet unwilling to change the frame of reference within which this seed is to unfold its power. Peter is thus the aspirant at the Saturn stage of the Road -- Peter, the Rock. He is the first to utter the new "Name", to proclaim the new fact of the incorporation of God as Christ in the individual man, Jesus. Yet he can only visualize and interpret this new fact with reference to the old kind of ego-structured consciousness. Yes, God has come among us; but God should behave as a man. "He is I", this disciple admits; but "I", to his mind, is still conditioning the ways of "Him".
Jesus' answer to Peter, "Get thee behind me, Satan", suggests that Jesus himself may have been tempted to evade the destiny implied in the very fact of his being the Christ; but he rejects this fourth temptation, as strongly as he had rejected the three temptations in the desert following his Baptism. He accepts fully his Christhood, and with it the Crucifixion. The plant which bears the seed within the protective envelope of the fruit realizes that, once the seed is fully mature, the plant itself must disintegrate according to the seasonal rhythm. The seed, indeed, actually "kills" the ephemeral plant that bears it. Christ 's Ascension is predicated upon Jesus’ Crucifixion. Likewise, one stretch of the Illumined Road must be experienced as the Path to Golgotha.
To realize this fully and to accept it irrevocably is the meaning of the transition from the Saturn to the Uranus stages of the journey Starward. He who makes this transition successfully passes symbolically from the Peter to the Jesus state of consciousness. He is then ready for the Transfiguration, which seals, at the same time, the glorious destiny of the God-seed (the Christ within) and the final surrender (Crucifixion) of the ego; a surrender necessary to the development, out of the God-seed, of the new organism of spirit, the immortal vehicle of the celestial Self, the "Risen Body of Christ"...
This is the great mystery, or spiritual paradox, at the core of Uranus' activity. To ordinary egocentric man, Uranus is the revolutionist, the arouser, the peace-shattering power that destroys the attitude of unquestioned reliance upon the seemingly secure past. Then, Uranus appears to the freer mind as the inspirer, the revealer, the spiritual fecundator, the transfigurer. Finally one more function needs to be accomplished, Uranus must evoke the Adversary of the individual he has transfigured.
There are always elements in any personality which cannot become transfigured, which resist metamorphosis until the very last crisis. Even the "Peter" aspect of the individual's consciousness seeks forever to materialize and to organize what is of the spirit; even Peter will thrice deny his Master when to say "Yes" to his divinity menaces his personal security; and he will flee from persecution, in later days in Rome, until the vision of Christ shames him into returning to meet his own crucifixion.
At the Saturn stage of the journey toward the Star, there often arises within the traveler's consciousness a sense of spiritual satisfaction with himself. Has not God been found to dwell like a seed of light within his soul? Has he not recognized the divine Presence, and given up many things to "follow" this Christ within? It is this sense of spiritual achievement and self-complacency which Uranus will shake and destroy - and this is the work of the Adversary, whom Uranus evokes.
To all Peters seemingly secure in their fervent discipleship to Christ must come the shattering of hope, the sense that they have devoted their all to one who has failed, the tragedy of denial of the most cherished Ideal. Their Saturnian inertia must once more be broken; now at the seemingly spiritual level. The power of the God within must overcome the fear and insecurity of whatever is left of the old ego dismayed at the prospect of seeing the structures of personality which it built crucified.
Jesus says: "Nevertheless thy will be done, not mine!'. But Peter takes his puny physical sword (his ego will) and, even after the experience on the Mount of Transfiguration, he fails to understand, and he fights against the inevitability of the Crucifixion. He has still to learn how to rely totally upon the power of the spirit - how impossible it is for the immortal spiritual organism to be free to function, unless the body of earth-substance is completely purified and re-made of spirit substance. Peter might have understood, had he had the power not to fear on the Mount of Transfiguration. But his fear and his materialistic attitude of traditional worship forced the entire Mount to be enveloped in a cloud; just as, in the Garden of Olives, his mortal weariness made him unable to stand, awake, by his divine Master, while Jesus made his ultimate prayer to the Father.” (86)
There will likely be further dimensions of transcendence as symbolized by outer planets Neptune and Pluto, but this one is the most crucial and difficult and the rock upon which any further stages are built.
At another level, Saturn has been equated with "Satan" in the Bible (or "The "Watcher on the Threshold"). Saturn used to be called the "greater malefic,' in contrast with Mars as the "lesser malefic." Saturn as Satan, and Mars as the evil Devil. This of course is a childish perspective, and one from an age where man was spoken to as children by the great sages. Whereas evil is relative and serves to make us wiser and gain higher states of consciousness by hard experience. Saturn rules initiation, as well as incarnation. From the point of view of the ego, it was viewed as chaos, but from that of the soul, it is a Friend. The depressing and limiting influences of Saturn produce in us a longing for the real Home. Saturn is "Chronos" (i.e., Kal as the ruler of time) and delineates karmic cycles more so than any other planet. It is the "Ring-Pass-Not" of the Mysteries, and symbolizes the true esoteric initiation. When the foundations have been made, one may pass "beyond." Or as the Bible states, "Unless the Lord build the house, they labor in vain who build it." This is another way of saying that "Kal" is not inherently evil. [Much more on Kal in Part Four] .
CHAPTER TEN
The Promised Land and the desert to be crossed on the way to it are both within us; The path is no joke; Oscillations of experience; Dante’s Inferno: when down is up; Master has many an arrow of love in his quiver; Two kinds of interior peace; Non-dual awakening does not bypass purification but makes it possible; Plani
Rumi, in his Mathnawi, wrote: ”In the black core of the heart, God created the eternal light of love.”
It has not always easy being surrendered under the wings of a true Guru. Irena Tweedie expressed her bewilderment with the trials and contradictions in the path chosen for her by her Master, Bhai Sahib:
“Somewhere there is happiness...Somewhere there is laughter, and Golden happiness. But for me there will be unbelievable suffering, much of it, and goodness knows for how long. I did not see light since I have been with him, and it is years now. I seem to have forgotten what laughter was...They all have something - bliss, Dhyana, Samadhi, wonderful states. They all look at him with the eyes of unearthly longing. I don’t think I ever looked at him like this. His son-in-law, too, seated here this afternoon - his eyes red, deep, just looking and looking. They all have this look - one can see it during the Bandhara - the look of supreme wonder...And I? Have nothing, not one good thing...And I am sure that I am being unjust, for I too got much. Only it is always obliterated by so much suffering and longing. Something in me KNOWS. But proofs I have none.” (87) [(88) - note on Bhai Sahib's lineage]
Brunton warns the seeker:
“He is sometimes taken at his word and made to undergo what Light on the Path refers to as the keenest anguish, which is brought to bear upon the disciple in order to lift him or her finally above the oscillations of experience. The path is no joke. It is as terrible as it is beautiful at other times.” (89)
In fact, one will likely feel at times that he is going backwards, when in truth he is advancing forward. Dr. Craig Isaacs describes that Dante and his guide, Virgil, after passage through a gate above which was inscribed, “Abandon all hope, you who enter here,” begin
"...descending through various levels of hell (the Inferno) encountering the numerous attitudes and activities which populate the self-centered, ego-oriented, passion-indulging - yet unfulfilling - life. They encounter lust, murder, envy, power-hungry avarice, and betrayal. Finally, Dante and Virgil come to meet the Satan-like figure of Dis, a demonic monster trapped at the waist in a frozen sea...It is not the literal Satan that is met but a representation of destruction and dissolution...Here is the energy of division and death, the very opposite of the move toward union and life. Dis does not reign over a realm of passionate fire, but an abode of cold barrenness... But to Dante’s surprise, what appears at the very depth of despair and hopelessness is actually the gateway to life. In order to get to paradise, instead of the seeming logic of turning around, ascending back up the levels of hell traversed so as to start over, the travelers now climb deeper, down the torso of Dis, heading beneath the frozen lake, toward his feet.”
“As they begin their descent, they are startled, and possibly a little disoriented, to suddenly find themselves climbing not down but up. It is then that they realize that Dis himself was upside down in this frozen lake and that their descent into hell was actually an ascending toward paradise. They begin to realize that the world that they thought was up, is really upside down...The ego-centered experience which has dominated life to this point begins to diminish. With this, the divine Comedy transitions and the reader enters the second section of the work, Purgatorio." (90)
Darshan Singh, too, spoke about this less-often spoken of aspect of purification on the mystic path:
"To be purified, gold has to pass through fire before it is free from dross. It is only by passing through various fires that we too become purified. These are the fires of longing for the Beloved, of yearning and pining for the Beloved, even to the point of death. In a state like this how can you be happy? What will be your condition? You will be physically with the Master for short periods, but the periods of separation will seem longer and longer. You will feel that the path you are treading is one of eternal struggle, of endless tears, of pearls flowing from your eyes."
Mentioned before, he then speaks seriously about a stage of "cold sighs" in the lover:
"Your very life is sustained by the warmth produced by the love of the Beloved. But when you start feeling that your Beloved has severed all connections with you, when you feel this warmth is gone, then your sighs become cold."
"This first sign is the greatest test because the heart of the lover is likely to flutter. [The word 'flutter' is likely a poetic understatement, based on what we have read on this subject so far]. The lover is caught in the tresses of the Beloved, and this stage of cold sighs is sometimes apt to lead the lover to a state of despair and despondency. And in that semi-lunatic state the bird of the heart flutters in its cage of trials and tribulations. Once caught, this bird of the heart cannot become free again. In spite of its fluttering and crying, once captive, it is captive for all times. The Lover needs all the sympathy, all the pity for his helpless state. He now feels hopeless and abandoned because there is no one to care for him. [Note: St. John states: “The soul is deserving of great pity because of the immense tribulation and the suffering of extreme uncertainty about a remedy.”] The lyrical glances and the love that emanate from the Beloved are no longer felt. The lover is in a pitiable state of cold sighs. In Christian mysticism this period is referred to as "The dark night of the soul."
"Master has many an arrow of love in his quiver. He can enrapture you with a single glance. He can put you in a state of ecstasy, and then rob you of your heart when you are under a spell. If you can escape one arrow, he has another arrow. He has so many arrows in his quiver. And a poor victim, once caught, is always caught."
"These are the hard facts of life. I can express them in platitudes. I can say that the moment you come to a Master you get intoxicated with his eyes, and that intoxication increases every moment until you attain communion with the Lord. If you would like I can describe the path of love in these words but in doing so I would neither be fair to myself nor to you. What I have been explaining is the truth of the mystic path that you do not find in books. Had they written about this in the books with such great clarity, then people would have shunned this path. But this is the naked truth and the only truth. It is a fact that you ultimately enjoy lasting bliss, lasting ecstasy, lasting salvation. Nobody can deny that. But I have explained in detail all the stages which are full of pain, anguish and yearning so that you should not be afraid of facing these moments on the path. Kabir, Guru Nanak, and all the great mystics have spoken of these moments. Our Beloved Master Sant Kirpal Singh Ji used to say that this is a path of tears; this is a path of dampness. He would say, "When love dances on the heart, it pains. But that pain is coated with honey. Who is there who would give up that pain?" People have been referring to this aspect of the path since the dawn of eternity, but we have not heeded their words. For those on the path of love, the pain and the suffering may be intense, but as Ghalib, the great Urdu poet has said, "When your grief transcends all bounds, it becomes its own cure."
"In order to make something of great value and beauty in the lovers, the Beloved sometimes shakes up their hearts. Not all lovers can withstand it. Many hearts become crushed or broken in this process. But those who are able to submit to the Beloved's shake-up, and who surrender to it, are not broken - instead they come out whole and give forth the sweetest taste. Such lovers who have surrendered to the Beloved's treatment, be it gentle or vigorous, are the most fortunate."
"Your faith must never be shaken. Once we have come to a Master, where is the question of losing faith? Remember, he has taken a vow never to leave or forsake us until he takes us to our eternal Home. But we should also realize that we must go through the stage when we feel abandoned, when we feel that the Master has deserted us. [compare Brunton: "It is not only by the experience of feeling at times the presence of God that an aspirant may develop inwardly: it may also happen by the equivalent non-experience, by feeling quite deserted by God, quite left alone! This - the "dark night of the soul" - is just as essential."] This is one of the features of the path of mystic love. We must go through this stage without a grumble on our lips, for this stage is in reality a gift from the Master himself to help us grow. Ultimately, it is for our own benefit, for our own salvation. There is a divine purpose behind everything the Master does. We may have to spend a lifetime of tears to get his love. We cannot demand the gift supreme from our Beloved. This gift descends at the appointed hour. Patience and perseverance should be the keynotes of the life of a seeker after truth. Acting in divine wisdom, the Master grants us the object of our longing, the object of our pining, when the appropriate hour arrives." (91)
One can argue about other words spoken on how few of us have even the minimal requirements to be considered "worthy" of the path of the Masters as being old-school and somewhat negative, perhaps not respecting the deep-seated shame many aspirants may have deep inside, but, reframing it another way, perhaps deCaussade narrows in on the central gist both of why things are not a cake-walk for most of us, and what is truly important in terms of progress:
“It is most difficult indeed to love God in happiness without any admixture of self, or of vain self-complacency, but in the time of crosses, and of interior spiritual privations, all that is needful in order to be certain of the purity of our love, is to endure them patiently, and to abandon ourselves sincerely. How truly consoling and encouraging is this certainty for those who understand the value and advantages of pure love. When God makes you understand this you will also understand why so many of the saints preferred privations and sufferings to consolations and joys, how they so passionately loved the former that they could hardly put up with the latter. God may possibly allow you to think that this painful state is going to last you your lifetime, in order to give you an opportunity of making Him a more complete sacrifice. Do not waver, do not hesitate for a single moment, sacrifice all! Abandon yourself without reserve, without limitation to Him, by Whom you imagine yourself abandoned.” (92)
“You have shown me another subject of uneasiness; one of which is of no consequence, and which has its foundation in various illusions, and of which you must cure yourself. The first is the great desire you have of sensible pleasure in Communion, and is an effect of spiritual self-love. The second is the belief that this sensible pleasure is a necessary condition of a good Communion. Alas! my dear daughter what would become of so many holy souls who usually feel nothing but dryness, callousness, and often distaste? In all our spiritual exercises we must approach God by pure faith which is scarcely felt. The less feeling you have in your communions and prayers the more likely they are to be purer and more pleasing to God. This is the way of pure faith and love which is never self-seeking. St. Francis of Sales used to say, “Our miserable satisfactions do not satisfy God...However, there are exceptions to be made, such as at the beginning of the spiritual life when the Holy Spirit has not yet acquired full dominion over us, and some extraordinary occasions when the tumult of the storm prevents us hearing His voice.” (93)
“There are two kinds of interior peace; one is sensible, sweet and delightful, and this kind does not, in any way, depend on ourselves, and is not at all necessary. And there is another kind which is almost imperceptible, which dwells in the depths of the heart in the most hidden recesses of the soul. It is usually dry and unfelt, and can be retained in the midst of the greatest tribulations. To recognize it would require the most profound recollection, you would say it was hidden in a deep abyss. It is there that God dwells, and He fashions it Himself in order to dwell there in an atmosphere of His own in the inner chamber of our hearts from hence He works marvelous but inscrutable things. These can only be recognized by their effects, as, when, by His beneficent influence you feel yourself capable of remaining firm in the midst of trials, violent shocks, great pain, and unforeseen misfortunes. If you feel that you possess this dry peace and a sort of quiet sadness, you ought to thank God for it; this is all that is necessary for your spiritual progress. Guard it as a most precious gift. As it gradually increases it will one day become your greatest treasure, but this will not be till after many battles and many victories.” (94)
This is, no doubt, a hard message in our impatient I-want-it-now culture, and many would choose to articulate it differently and place the emphasis elsewhere. Brunton, however, concurs with Darshan Singh:
“When a spiritual teacher is asked to accept a student, he tries to discourage the seeker, because he knows by personal experience what a long and painful road it is…The essence of this path is the giving up of the “I,” the ego, which means that in a crisis the heart must weep tears of blood. Deep wounds are made, which only time can heal. They will be healed some day and when the storm of hurt feelings goes completely, a great peace arises.” (95)
Father Maximos of Mt. Athos spoke of the depths of existential despair that a monk, or even a sincere lay practitioner, may reach when all consolations fall away or are cut off and he faces a wound or loneliness that only God can heal:
"But we must keep reminding ourselves that sooner or later we must descend into that state of despair alone. And there alone, like Jonah inside the belly of the whale, we shall cry with all our might for God's mercy...Needless to say, such a state of aloneness, which is hell itself, will be a cause of insufferable grief because while we are in the state God remains silent, in hiding from us. God is not going to appear to us the moment we begin to weep with despair and cry out for him. He is not going to come to us like a mother who comes to comfort her baby the moment the baby utters a cry...Why? Because he does not wish to be unjust toward us. He does not wish to turn us into infants but wants to help us become mature adults, perfect human beings...It is important to keep in mind what will happen once we reach the state of utter despair at the limits of our endurance. And I don't mean by that the false belief that we have reached our limits of endurance but rather our actual limits, objectively speaking, where there is no longer any room for further endurance. It is at that point, at that very moment that God begins to make his appearance in us. It is at that point when the process of divine consolation begins to emerge in our hearts, yet not quite completely at first and not absolutely." (96)
Kirpal Singh also wrote potently of this delicate, trying, and inevitable stage. In a recently compiled on-line collection of long-lost unpublished spiritual poetry, entitled Divine Melodies (in which only 147 out of his 2000 written verses remain), we find:
“It can’t be concealed when comes the calamity.
It is a sort of doom that does come ultimately.
What a great misery love is! It shows its feats at last.
Who save Thee will come to me in the dark night
To make my miserable house bright with light.”
Madame Guyon counsels understanding on these difficulties of the path:
“You must understand that the way of the cross - this way of allowing yourself to be completely emptied - is one that will be full of dryness for you. There is difficulty, there is pain and there is weariness. The beginning of your spiritual journey is glorious, beautiful and rich. Do not confuse the beginning with the end or the middle. They so often have little in common and bear no similarity to one another. There are parts of the journey that are spiritual, but they can also be so difficult and so dry that the word “spiritual” seems to not even apply. How fortunate, how blessed is the believer who can find someone along the way who will help him understand these things and show him that “spiritual” includes the dry, the desolate, and even the sense of being forsaken.” (97)
Non-Dual awakening does not bypass purification but makes it possible
And, lest one think this is only found in the annals of mysticism, even paths unlike Sant Mat such as Advaita are not immune to this process! Even after a true ‘awakening’ such as many are claiming these days, to one degree or another, the fullest fruition of that course will still entail purification. Contemporary teacher, Ramaji, writes:
“Non-dual awakening does not mean that every twisted knot of the subconscious has been burned through and resolved. It does not mean that terrible traumas from past lives and this life have been handled. One of the gifts of awakening is that now you are in a position to dig up [or allow grace to dig up] and resolve submerged conflicts that the empirical ego, when it ran the show, would not let rise to the surface.”
“The journey goes on in the form of mental and emotional purification until the person reaches the level of total dedication to service. The mature sage regards all as his Self.” (98)
If ones ideal in the beginning is escape and not service, the need for this form of transformation may not be felt and may even be avoided so as not to disturb whatever inner peace one has found. One may bask in an initial realization and go no further, although God may have other plans. The general idea is that there is a progressive ongoing refinement that goes on even after such awakening in a manner and to a degree that may not be possible beforehand. In higher, more impersonal stages of the process, moreover, extremely harrowing experiences have been historically recorded, i.e., ‘sweating blood’ or ‘feeling like one’s bones are breaking’ - but a key to making it through even where, although unlikely, the sacrifice of a Buddha or Christ may be called for, is perhaps to remember “it’s not just about me.”
No doubt much of the foregoing is difficult for a beginner to see, but it needs to be said. Thus it must be kept in mind by modern seekers awakened even to, say, a first experience of ‘no-self’, or alternatively, to some kind of meditative samadhi or trance state, that - according to many traditional ‘maps of consciousness’, be it in Zen, Vedanta, Sufism, and esoteric Christianity - the fruition of the Path is far ahead and has many depths before completion, and one must not let either pride or lack of understanding bring one's forward progression to a halt. Despite one’s ‘enlightenment' one may not yet have become fully or truly human. For example, Zen Master Boshan warned his students centuries ago to “finish up dying and come to life,” and “beware of remaining in their little hole stinking up the place thinking they are the biggest ‘no-self’ around!” And of course we have been told many times that “humility is the adornment of the Saints.” For the Orthodox saints the biggest fault or hindrance is what they call plani. This is the inability to seek advice or to doubt oneself, and a self-assurance as to one's views, perceptions, and knowledge - the opposite of humility. "The devil does not seek advice," said Father Maximos. This, in short, is pride, the deadly sin that can arise in force at the causal level after lesser vices are seemingly under control, and one imagines he is more spiritual than he really is.
So there it is. The path has ups and downs and there is simply no formulaic expression that all must follow, expect, or undergo. It rarely works quite that way. And this needs to be well understood up front. Even so, there will likely be many surprises and stunning paradoxes. This is not a ‘cookie-cutter’ process! And, furthermore, to come to the non-dual stage spoken of by Guru Nanak, wherein “truth is above all, but higher still is true living,” and where, as Ishwar Puri said, one comes to realize that “everything that has happened has happened in Sach Khand,” we must endure a process that leads to such integrated realization. As Brunton wrote
"It is not enough to recognize the Real in its own homeland alone; he must be trained to recognize it under all conditions, even when it is hidden under thick illusion, even in the lowest ebb of the soul’s dark night.” (99)
“You are already there, you just don’t know it,” said Kirpal Singh. That means the Real or Sach Khand is also NOW. Just like all the bodies (astral, causal, supra causal) are co-existent with the physical body right now. This might be considered ‘Sant Mat Advaita'. So how do we solve what is then essentially a ‘problem of knowledge’, and not only one of experience? By the above-mentioned endurance, and also by gradually changing our perception and viewpoints when out of meditation and immersed in daily living, and thus ‘closing the gap’ between the absolute and the relative. This is an active practice and means not merely ‘minimally functioning’ with our attention fixed inside our heads in between meditation sessions.
If it is true that “In Him we live, move, and have our being,” we begin by assuming that that is true, and act “as if” it is. This is a form of “fake it until you make it” - except here, faking it IS making it - because it is true, and only needs to be made natural. This is using the mind to go beyond the mind, or, more accurately, to see and use it as an aspect of the Self, which it is, instead of an alien thing or an enemy. We thus seed the undoing of the hypnotic ‘samsaric’ state we are under. We are already ‘entranced’, and actually do not need another, bigger, trance state to be free. This is the hidden teaching of some of these Masters. If we wait or assume we have to wait until we reach Sach Khand in meditation to realize It here, we may have a long wait. In the meantime we might in this way follow the lead of some of the direct path teachings and thereby shorten our course. Even while continuing and deepening in Sant Mat.
Kirpal once said “the time will come when you will say, “who is living in this body? Am I?” You will see the Master in there. When you fold your hands, they will be the Master’s hands, not yours.”. What can this mean other than the body is not ours, but is, so to speak, a manifestation of God within our consciousness? Again, to quote Brunton, who more philosophically is saying much the same thing:
“The ego to which he is so attached turns out on enquiry to be none other than the presence of the World-Mind [God] within his own heart. If identification is then shifted by constant practice from one to the other, he has achieved the purpose of life.” (100)
This recognition is a gradual process. We are getting there, I think. Of course Grace must lend a hand, and is in fact the prime Mover in this ordeal, which leads us to
CHAPTER ELEVEN
'SCRUBBING - a deeper walk with the Lord. An intensive discussion on psycho-physical purification by the divine. “And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles." [Mark 2:22 KJV]
“A jeweller who wants to re-fashion an ornament, first melts it down to shapeless gold. Similarly, one must return to ones original state before a new name and form can emerge. Death is essential for renewal.” - Sri Nisargadatta (101)
"My God, I do not know what You will do, but I surrender myself to You completely so that You will make me into a human being." - St. Paissos
We have been warming up to this, approaching from various angles, but this is what it comes down to for many aspirants. The great Huang Po is credited with saying, “If you have not endured through the bone-chilling winter, how can you expect to enjoy the scent of plum blossoms?” We generally do not like to hear things like that, but purification is an essential and unavoidable part of the path, if it is actually to be lived, and even truly understood. It has been said in Zen that "heaven and hell are one-tenth of an inch apart." The difference between satanist Aleister Crowley, who said "Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law," and St. Augustine, who said "Love and do what you please," is what the process of scrubbing will clarify!
“And no man putteth new wine into old bottles: else the new wine doth burst the bottles, and the wine is spilled, and the bottles will be marred: but new wine must be put into new bottles.” [Mark 2:22 KJV]
“I continue to thank God daily for having thus struck me in His mercy by making me pass through this spiritual cleansing.” - deCaussade (102)
“God proves the devotee by means of severe ordeals. A washerman beats the cloth on a slab, not to tear it, but only to remove the dirt.” - Namah Shivaya
“The innermost light, shining peacefully and timelessly in the heart, is the real Guru. All others merely show the way…The inner Guru bides his chance. Obtuseness and wrong pursuits bring about a crisis and the disciple wakes up to his own plight. Wise is he who does not wait for a shock, which can be quite rude…The inner Guru is not committed to non-violence. He can be quite violent at times, to the point of destroying the obtuse or perverted personality. Suffering and death, as life and happiness, are his tools of work…The self means well. But it must be taken seriously. It calls for attention and obedience; when it is not listened to, it turns from persuasion to compulsion, for while it can wait, it shall not be denied.” - Sri Nisargadatta (103)
“He who is not tempted, what does he know? And he who is not tried, what are the things he knows?” [Ecclus. 34:9-10]
“You have chastised me, Lord, and I was instructed.” [Jer. 31:18]
“For whom the Lord loveth, he chaseneth, and scourgeth every son whom He receiveth.” (Heb. 12:6)
“Real teachers smelt and refine their students hundreds and thousands of times.” - Yuanwu (1063-1135)
“The soul, as it were, is undergoing a cure to regain its health, which is God himself. (104)... There are many who desire to advance and persistently beseech God to bring them to this state of perfection. Yet when God wills to conduct them through the initial trials and mortifications, as is necessary, they are unwilling to suffer them and shun them, flee from the narrow road of life [Mt. 7:14] and seek the broad road of their own consolation, which is that of their own perdition [Mt. 7:13]; thus they do not allow God to begin to grant their petition. They are like useless containers, for although they desire to reach the state of the perfect they do not want to be guided by the path of trials that leads to it...God finds few vessels that will endure so lofty and sublime a work.” - St.John of the Cross (105)
This can get intense at times, for one is dealing with The Master. St. John continues:
“Since this divine contemplation assails them somewhat forcefully in order to subdue and strengthen their soul, they suffer so much in their weakness that they almost die...In order for the rust of the affections which are within the soul to be purified, it is needful that, in a certain manner, the soul should be annihilated and destroyed, the poisons and imperfections have become so natural to it.”
“Wherefore, because the soul is purified in thus forge like gold in the crucible, as the Wise man says [Wis. 3:6], it feels both this terrible undoing in its very substance and extreme poverty as though it were approaching its end.” (106)
“The world is a furnace in whose fires the soul is purified.” - Baba Sawan Singh (107)
Sant Darshan Singh spoke quite a lot about this “shaking-up” or “scrubbing” process for the soul:
"...in order to make something of great value and beauty in the lovers, the Beloved sometimes shakes up their hearts. Not all lovers can withstand it. Some hearts become crushed or broken in this process. But those who are able to submit to the Beloved's shake-up, and who surrender to it, are not broken - instead they come out whole and give forth the sweetest taste. Such lovers who have surrendered to the Beloved's treatment, be it gentle or vigorous, are the most fortunate.” (108)
It is this aspect of the path which makes the Eastern Orthodox Fathers consider spirituality to be a branch of medicine - not philosophy. And in my case, for Sant Kirpal Singh to use the metaphor of an ashram as a “hospital” (for sick souls).
A friend of mine wrote: "as we drove in on a bus to Sawan Ashram and entered through the gate, Sant Darshan said, “This is where souls were made into men and women.“ Kirpal Singh often said, “To become God is easy, to become a man is difficult.”
St. Paissos: "My God, I do not know what You will do, but I surrender myself to You completely so that You will make me into a human being.”
Shri Atmananda: ”Become a man and nothing more. Then you are free.”
St. John of the Cross, further, spoke of some of the more advanced stages of this cleansing process:
“The habitual imperfections are the imperfect habits and affections which have remained all the time in the spirit, and are like roots, to which the purgation of sense has been unable to penetrate. The difference between the purgation of these and that of this other kind is the difference between the root and branch, or between the removing of a stain which is fresh and one which is old and of long standing. For, as we said, the purgation of sense is only the entrance and beginning of infused contemplation leading to the purgation of the spirit, which, as we have likewise said, serves rather to accommodate sense to spirit than to unite spirit with God. But there still remain in the spirit the stains of the old man [i.e., “blemishes”, according to Darshan Singh, the Sants, various Tibetan gurus, and others], although the spirit thinks not that this is so, neither can it perceive them; if these stains be not removed with the soap and strong lye of the purgation of this night, the spirit will be unable to come to the purity of Divine Union...It is clear that God grants the soul in this state the favour of purging it and healing it with this strong lye of bitter purgation, according to its spiritual and sensual part, of all the imperfect habits and affections which it had within itself with respect to temporal things and to natural, sensual and spiritual things, it’s inward faculties being darkened, and voided of all these, its spiritual and sensual affections being constrained and dried up, and its natural energies being attenuated and weakened with respect to all this (a condition which it could never attain of itself, as we shall shortly say). In this way God makes it to die to all that is not naturally God, so that once it is stripped and denuded of its former skin, He may clothe it anew. And thus its youth is renewed like the eagle’s and it is clothed with the new man, which, as the Apostle says, is created according to God.” (109)
David sayeth: ”He sent fire into my bones, and has taught me.” (Lamentations, i, 13)
In the Rig Veda IX.83 we read:
"Wide spread out for thee is the sieve of thy purifying, O Master of the soul; becoming in the creature thou pervadest his members all through. He tastes not that delight who is unripe and whose body has not suffered in the heat of the fire; they alone are able to bear that and enjoy it who have been prepared by the flame."
Sri Aurobindo wrote:
"But it is not every human system that can hold, sustain and enjoy the potent and often violent ecstasy of that divine delight. Ataptatanur na tad amo asnute, he who is raw and his body not heated does not taste or enjoy that; srtasa id vahantas tat smasata, only those who have been baked in the fire bear and entirely enjoy that. The wine of the divine Life poured into the system is a strong, overflooding and violent ecstasy; it cannot be held in the system unprepared for it by strong endurance of the utmost fires of life and suffering and experience. The raw earthen vessel not baked to consistency in the fire of the kiln cannot hold the Soma-wine; it breaks and spills the precious liquid. So the physical system of the man who drinks this strong wine of Ananda must by suffering and conquering all the torturing heats of life have been prepared for the secret and fiery heats of the Soma; otherwise his conscious being will not be able to hold it; it will spill and lose it as soon as or even before it is tasted or it will break down mentally and physically under the touch." (110)
Aadi likewise explains why this purificatory process is necessary:
“We need to understand that enlightenment is not a mere shift in perception and consciousness. It is an existential metamorphosis on all levels that radically transforms the frequency of our energy system and the delicate balance of our brain and subtle bodies. A sudden and complete enlightenment that bypassed all intermediate stages of awakening would undoubtedly result in a mental and emotional breakdown, or even physical death. The body and mind require time to adjust to the dramatic change in our energy and sense of identity that the radical transfiguration of enlightenment engenders.” (111)
Brunton is forthright in saying that one could not even recognize enlightenment if it presented itself to him without such preparation:
“Even if the highest truth were to appear in all its glorious fullness before his mind, he would be unable to recognize it for what it is - much less understand it - if there had been no preparation or purification for it. He would not even be free to look at it if the ego held him tight in its encircling network.” (112)
This also means that if a master took up a soul to a high plane prematurely he might be uncomfortable there; the impersonality of the domain might make him long for a return to his usual environment. For if it were so easy to take one to Sat Lok, for instance, would any master throughout human history in his compassion hesitate to do it? And also:
"The depth to be penetrated from the surface to the deepest layers of the human psyche is too great to be reached without acute sacrifice and intense anguish." (113)
So such a process needs time and much patience, something the beginner is often lacking. Not only fixed habits of emotion and will must be undone, but age-old mental habits as well, for a complete and balanced illumination to manifest. This can only be achieved in the waking state of earth-life, and without it one will be entirely unable to comprehend the inner Void, much less the mystical states along the way. For the ego will distort everything. This is a major point and bears repeating, since it is rarely mentioned in spiritual literature. Anthony Damiani stated it this way:
“In Nirvikalpa [the Void] there is no thought. There's nothing to understand. Without the fullness of the understanding that comes from penetrating into the World-Idea - in other words, the full development of the faculty of understanding which comes to a soul through the World-Idea - in the trance state one would be utterly unprepared to understand the mysterious Void...Or we can put it this way: It will take all the teaching that the World-Mind [Brunton’s term for God manifesting the universe as the expression of its own Intelligence or World-Idea] can bring to bear upon the soul, in order for the soul to understand its origins, its own priors...That’s what is necessary to become the sort of philosopher that not only understands the nature of the soul but also something about the prior principles that are, let's say, eternally generating it." (114)
This is difficult to articulate, but it means that the ordinary mystic goes inside without having already, as it were, absorbed the world in his understanding, that is to say, in himself, and therefore cannot understand the true nature of the Void either. Whereas the one who Brunton refers to as the philosophic mystic can do so. The one goes inside, as it were, with his back to the light, while the other consciously enters the light itself. He knows that the Void is of the same essence as the world, while the lesser mystic or would-be mystic confronts a great divide when returning to ordinary consciousness. Even mystic states of Savikalpa Samadhi are problematic, without this prior understanding gained through inquiry in the waking state, because if one is not very dispassionate and does not have at least a rudimentary self-knowledge he will be so overwhelmed by the relative illumination and/or captivating allure of the inner visions that he will not grasp their significance and will not therefore be freed from his still ordinary (objective) way of understanding. Non-duality is out of reach. Another reason is that the ordinary yogi will easily be so overwhelmed by the superlative effulgence of even the highest the mystical state that he will be stopped from advancing further because of his belief that the goal to be attained is the stabilization of ecstasy. Whereas a serene peace lies beyond, and often after a purificatory struggle in limitation.
Brunton emphasizes the need for prayer, with a cautionary note:
“Beware what you pray for. Do not ask for the truth unless you know what it means and all that it implies and nevertheless are still willing to accept it. For if it is granted to you, it will not only purge the evil out of you but later purify the egotism from your mind. Will you be able to endure this loss, which is unlikely to be a painless one?” (115)
Madame Guyon also urges prayer, in recognition of ones helpless condition:
“Pour out your heart to Him as a little child pours out his heart to his father. Never doubt your Lord’s deep love for you. As you come to Him, come as a weak child, one who is all soiled and badly bruised - a child that has been hurt from falling again and again. Come to the Lord as one who has no strength of his own; come to Him as one who has no power to cleanse himself. Humbly lay your pitiful condition before your Father’s gaze....God demands nothing extraordinary. On the contrary he is very pleased by a simple, childlike conduct. The highest spiritual attainments are really the ones that are most easily reached. The things that are most important are the things that are the least difficult." (116)
deCaussade succinctly describes the relationship of inner purification and spiritual growth:
”The extent to which the soul is purified in its most secret recesses, is the measure of its union with the God of all holiness.” (117)
He further elaborates on the process, using metaphors common in mystic literature:
“If you throw green wood on the fire the flames does not affect it except for a moment, and the heat of the fire acting on the green wood makes it exude moisture and emit sighing sounds, and twists and turns it in a hundred different ways with great noise, until it has been made dry enough for the fire to take hold of it; then the flame spreads and consumes it without any effort or noise, but quietly. This is an image of the action of divine love on souls that are still full of imperfections and the evil inclinations of self-love. These must be purified, refined, and cleared away and this cannot be achieved without trouble and suffering. Look upon yourself then, as this green wood acted on by divine love before it is able to kindle it, and to consume it with its flames. Or else as a statue under the hands of a sculptor, or like a stone which is chipped and cut with the chisel and hammer to make it the right shape to take its place in a beautiful building. If this stone could feel, and if, while it suffered it asked you what it should do in so much pain, you would, without doubt, reply, “Keep perfectly quiet in the hands of the workman and let him proceed with his work, otherwise you will always remain a rough common piece of stone.” Take this advice yourself, have patience and let God do the work because there is really nothing else for you to do, only say, “I adore and submit. Fiat!” (118)
Fenelon further explains:
“While any self-love remains, we are afraid of its being revealed, but so long as the least symptom of it lurks in the most secret recesses of the heart, God pursues it, and by some infinitely merciful blow, forces it into the light…Our own hand can effect nothing but superficial reforms; we do not know ourselves, and cannot tell where to strike; we should never light upon the spot that the hand of God so readily finds. Self-love arrests our hand and spares itself; it has not courage to wound itself to the quick. And besides, the choice of the spot and the preparation for the blow, deaden its force. But the hand of God strikes in unexpected places, it finds the very joint of the harness, and leaves nothing unscathed. Self-love then becomes the patient; let it cry out, but see to it that it does not stir under the hand of God, lest it interfere with the success of the operation. It must remain motionless beneath the knife; all that is required is fidelity in not refusing a single stroke.” (119)
“God will eventually test you in all areas of your life, but He will not let your trials become greater than you can bear. Let God use trials to help you grow. Do not try to measure your progress, your strength, or what God is doing. His work is not less efficient because what He is doing is invisible. Much of God’s work is done in secret because you would not die to yourself if He always visibly stretched out His hand to save you. God does not transform you on a bed of light, life, and grace. His transformation is done on the cross in darkness, poverty, and death.” (120)
Brunton says:
“What is the purpose of all this Long Path work upon himself? It is to clear a way for the inflow of grace, even to the most hidden parts of his character.” (121)
Again, Madame Guyon comments:
“The reason many of those who follow the Lord do not advance very far is because back in the beginning they had not allowed themselves to be stripped. Or, just as wrong, they had tried to accomplish this stripping by themselves. You cannot strip yourself. As much as you wish to follow the Lord, and as much as you wish to be stripped, your own efforts to do so will only make you religious and hard or extremely confused. God will come and He will strip you.”
“You can be sure, dear reader, that you will never be motivated enough to allow this purging process to happen to you! Man, by his nature, is very reluctant to submit to such a transformation. All of us are greatly enamoured with self and very fearful of its destruction. You can be very sure you would never consent if it were not that God takes it upon Himself to act upon you. It is He who comes with power and authority. God must take responsibility for bringing man into union with Himself. But is this possible? Will God act upon man without man’s consent? Is this a break with divine principles, an imposition of God upon the free will of man? Well, let us return to that hour of your conversion. At that time you made an unreserved surrender of your being to God. Not only that, you surrendered yourself to all that God wills for you. It was at that very time that you gave your total consent to whatever God might wish to require of you. Oh, it is true that when your Lord actually began burning, destroying, and purifying, you did not recognize that it was the hand of the Lord in your life. You certainly did not recognize the operation as something good. You had the very opposite impression! Instead, you saw all that beautiful gold in you turning black in the fire rather than becoming bright as you had expected. You stood looking at the circumstances around you that were producing all that tragedy in your life. You thought that all the purity in your life was being lost. If at that moment, the Lord had come and asked you for your active consent, at best you would hardly have been able to give it. It is more likely that you would not have been able to give consent at all. There is something you can do at times like those, however. You can remain firm in a passive consent, enduring as patiently as you can all that God has introduced into your life.” (122)
“Meditation will not bring divine union, neither will love, nor worship, nor your devotion, nor your sacrifice. Nor does it matter how much light the Lord gives you. Eventually it will take an act of God to make union a reality. In the Old Testament the Scripture says, “No man shall see God and live.” (Exodus 33:20). If your prayer still contains your own life, that prayer cannot see God. Your life will not know the experience of union with His life. All that is of your doing, all that comes from your life - even your most exalted prayer - must first be destroyed before union can come about.” (123)
It is not that meditation and reaching the Stillness or bathing in the Current has no part in purifying the lower tendencies binding a soul. It does, and the longer one can spend there the more that does take place. The ego does not come out quite as bad. It is only that one has less a chance of getting there, or staying there, or integrating it, if a purifying process does not take place at the level of life. This is not something one can do himself, but he can accept and cooperate with it. The divine does the work. The degree of its necessity varies with each soul.
Mariana Caplan speaks to this granting of consent in relationship to a spiritual Master:
"What is not understood is that a real teacher will never threaten the free will of a human being because they know that it is a gift from God...Before the master tests a human being, he or she has to give permission to be tested. He or she has to say, "Yes," Because certain things can't be done to a human being, spiritually, without the human being saying, "Yes, do with me as thou wilt"...The human being has to be turned inside out, has to be burnt to ashes, and a master can't do that to a human being unless they say, "Yes." They don't have the right to. Because everybody is free. The disciple, at each place along the way, is given a choice: do you want to continue, do you not want to continue? The teacher is there to open your heart, to tear you apart and feed you to the lions of love. But not everybody wants that."
"There are some souls who come into this world already surrendered to God. There is a desire to be with God that overrules any human desire. But those people are rare. Most people say they want, but they don't want. This is the whole struggle with the spiritual path - do they want to surrender, or do they not want to surrender?...It is said that even until the last initiation, the teacher does not know what choice the disciple will make. The disciple can say yes, or the disciple can say no. It has to be like that." (124)
Zen master Nanquan (749-835) said:
“Even though you may claim to have been awakened, I would still give you thirty blows. How many more would those who have not awakened receive?”
Anthony Damiani says it is not that a teacher necessarily personally goes inside the disciple and starts “shoveling around” (except as he may be used as a channel for the divine), but that proximity to his company, and the gradual maturation of the quest, naturally brings hidden tendencies to the surface:
"In the presence of a sage, a past habit which is still alive in you is brought up to the surface and now you have to overcome it once and for all...These parts of ourselves that can’t serve the higher purpose have to be taken up, brought up into the daylight, into your consciousness. They have to be understood for what they are and then they must be disowned, discarded, or completely dissolved. So very often when a person is neurotic, if he starts meditating, things are going to get worse, not better. Because these problems start coming out into the open. Those of us who have been at it a few years begin to recognize that. You know, “Why is everything going wrong? What’s going on?” But that’s exactly what to expect and it’s good, because if these things are not brought out they will always stay in what the psychologists call the unconscious, the subconscious. And when the right opportunity comes, they’ll spring out and you’ll find out, “I am not at all the way I thought I was. I’m really a grub, something horrible.” But all the time we thought we were 99% gold. So these things happen, very naturally. It’s to be expected. (125)
Rangan, a disciple of Ramana Maharshi once asked:
“How is it that the egos of some of your devotees, instead of becoming less and less, seem to grow more and more by their contact with you?”
Bhagavan replied:
“If the ego is to go away, it has to come out first from its hiding place. When water is put on the stove to be boiled, it must get heated, overflow and then evaporate.” (126)
Robert S. deRopp explains this from an alchemical perspective:
“This seeing is the essence of the alchemical process called nigredo, “the blackening.” It involves confronting those forces in oneself that are mainly responsible for one’s inner slavery, forces referred to [by Gurdjieff] as the chief feature. One who has seen his chief feature and learned to separate from it is on the way to real liberty (the whitening or albedo).
“But this work of discovering the chief feature can be as rough on the teacher as it is on the pupil. The teacher has to maintain a role that may be unpleasant and difficult. He must put up with abuse from the person he is trying to help. For few come easily to the meeting with their chief features. It is a real showdown, at which Dr. Jekyll meets Dr. Hyde, at which all the rotting monsters in one’s personal cesspool come crawling out into the light of day.” (127)
Sri Ramakrishna simply called this “lancing the boil.”
Fenelon writes:
“Self-love finds hidden strength and secret hiding places because of your natural strength and ingenuity for survival…God will force your old nature to cry out loud and come out in the open…The more God loves you, the less He spares you.” (128)
As Kirpal once said, "the inner Master is stricter than me."
American master Vitvan wrote concerning this matter, perhaps somewhat extremely, couched in terms of what he calls the initiation into the “Third Degree” (in his system there were Ten Degrees). This quote seems to portray a “deep scrubbing” occurring, in this case, after a fair degree of progress has been made, either on ones own or under a master:
"Prior to reaching this state in the initiatory process one seldom, if ever, has any realization that a purificatory process is necessary. Not until he begins to comprehend that Mind level state does it dawn upon him how unclean, how impure he is...If someone belongs to the race mind and the crowd, there is no need or requirement to undergo a process of purification..Do not ever tell him that there is a purificatory process ahead of him because he is not concerned with it and he should not attempt it. If he did, he would be attempting something that is beyond his state, and he could not live up to it if he wanted to. If he tried he would have to put in a tremendous amount of mental effort to repress the animal propensities...There are many who get mentally self-righteous or spiritually ambitious and say, "No, I am not going to live like an animal." They repress their animal propensities and develop all sorts of neurotic outlets and substituted and compensatory forms of expression. They may have nervous or mental breakdowns, whereas they should be good animals. See that? If you are a dog, be a good dog. But one who has reached the third degree in the evolutionary process, who has gradually expanded and developed out of that, is faced with something that is inescapable. He must purify the vehicles. He must purify the temple in preparation for the coming of the Christ, the coming of the Light. That Greater That, that Greater Power, that Fire (because that is the Fire), cannot come into unpurified vehicles - the higher psyche, the lower psyche, and the [energy] configuration. It would be disastrous to awaken that fire and bring it in when the vehicles have not been sufficiently purified."
"There are several divisions of the work of purification of the vehicles. First the higher psychic level must be purified. By what is the higher psyche characterized? Love, over and above all else...That love demands self-surrender, a giving up, a dying. The personality begins to die when you begin to love...Kindness, sympathy, and helpfulness also characterize the higher psyche. All that we value in human relationship - warm, true friendship...That is the higher psyche."
"Then how and why does that need purification for the coming of the Christ? You may be doing all of that with the consciousness that you are doing it - not that you are going to get something out of it, but that you are doing it - egoic satisfaction in the doing, personalization of all those activities that we call the higher psyche. You might even be a little proud, have some vainglory and some selfishness about it. There is where the need for purification comes. You must realize that the motivating force of that love is not something that originates in yourself...You are becoming an channel, an instrument, through which that higher influence can work. In that recognition the higher psyche becomes free from the little, personal self. It becomes free and clear, very lovely and beautiful."
"Not until that loveliness, that beauty of the higher psyche, has been established does the Brother of the Third degree realize what a job has to be done on his lower psyche. In that beauty and loveliness of the purification of the higher psyche two things happen. On the one side, he reaches above and makes contact with those on the lowest of Light's Regions, the Mind level, the power and influence of the Christ state. On the other is the purification of the lower psyche."
"There is purpose in this, because the Brother of the Third Degree cannot muster the strength to cope with the influence of the lower psyche by himself...It is extremely necessary to cultivate the practice of looking to a higher level for power, for strength, because when one is up against the conflict between higher and lower psyche, he has to call upon all the strength that he can obtain. He needs lots of it."
The gist:
"You can do all the AUM chanting and your meditation work, you can listen to the sound currents until they roar like a Niagara, and at the same time that you are in all that loveliness and beauty on the higher psyche the devils of the lower psyche are raising old Ned with you. They are kicking up everything to prevent your getting more light and more fire. They are pulling you down, trying to dissuade you from higher development...You can lift your forces into the higher psyche and beyond, but you have not purified the temple of those entities that have occupied it and are still occupying it."
"When the battle has gone on pretty well...the third phase in the purificatory process begins...The flesh must be re-metamorphosed because so long as the quality of animal propensities remains in the flesh, the body cannot entertain the higher Fire, the higher Light of the Christ. It has to undergo purification." (129)
Scrubbing takes some time because, as PB explains:
"The depth to be penetrated from the surface to the deepest layers of the human psyche is too great to be reached quickly without acute sacrifice and intense anguish...He has brought over from earlier births a number of subconscious memories, tendencies and complexes, unfulfilled desires and unexpressed aspirations. These have to be dealt with, either by increasing eradication or by diminishing satisfaction, so that they no longer interrupt the calm tenor of the mind.” (130)
Sri Nisargadatta concurs:
“There is destiny to consider. The unconscious is in the grip of destiny; it is destiny, in fact. One may have to wait. But however heavy may be the hand of destiny, it can be lifted by patience and self-control. Integrity and purity remove the obstacles, and the vision of reality appears in the mind.” (131)
Sant Kirpal Singh echoes this and the earlier remark of deCaussade (regarding “purification of the innermost recesses of the heart being the measure of one's union with the God of all holiness”) by saying: “The subconscious reservoir of the mind must be thoroughly drained out before it can be filled with the love of the Lord/Master.” He offers, for the devotional path, a traditional sign of progress:
“If you want your devotion, your love of God to bear forth fruit, then be wholly and solely devoted to One. Think of Him, see Him, hear about Him and know Him...Kabir says, “What is the criterion of a man ho is devoted wholly and solely to God? If in a deep sleep state, the word of God or the Master comes out of his mouth, then such a man is wholly and solely devoted to Him. What would I offer to such a man? I would offer my flesh, my skin to make shoes for his feet.” (132)
Along these lines Brunton similarly wrote:
“It is a teaching of the mystical order of Turkish Sufis that the progress of a disciple is partially to be measured by his teacher by the progressive purification attained in the character of his dream life.” (133)
Many may feel frustrated reading this, as the dream life is very individual, as is its transformation. This is not something to be concerned about, and it must be pointed out that some aspirants readily have dreams of their Master, and some simply do not. One is not necessarily better than the other. The dream life has its own logic and purpose. Furthermore, on a jnana path the approach to the dream and sleep states is quite different than on a bhakti path. On the former one is more attentive to becoming the witness than improving or altering the dream itself. Much also depends on the kind of relationship one has to his Master. If a little advaitic influence has been imparted to it by grace, one sees the Master less as a unique individual than as an "Atma murti" - a living symbol of the Self. Then, every experience of "Him" - and everyone and everything else - leads one straight towards the goal and closer to the position of Self-Realization. The love is no less, only transmuted and sublimated to a deeper level
The above mentioned series of quotes, however, basically refer to the bringing up to consciousness the hidden blind spots - “stuff” - that even ones initial work on mind-stilling and ethical living, detachment, spiritual experiences, and even non-dual awakenings have not brought you to see, hear, touch, feel or access, because the ego was too afraid, ashamed, guilty, in control, or preoccupied with ones own progress! A great housecleaning must take place one way or another at this point for one to make a further advance. This is well and good, but too often the paths do not fully advise students about this, and the very spiritual methods and techniques can prevent this from happening. That is what this section is for.
“It is during this probationary period that the soul will feel some discomfort. It has become so besmeared with the dirt of the senses that it has lost its original purity of heart and is not fit to be raised out of the prison house of the body." - Kirpal Singh
We do not fully agree with the old-style language used here, about the body being a prison, or the goal to be one of exclusively transcending it, although we do agree with the spirit in which it is made. The main point is that a great purification generally must take place, and it is better off taking place here on earth. Nor is this only something that takes place in a “probationary period.” That initial course of man-making has got the disciple this far, hopefully, and now progressively deeper levels of “scrubbing” can be allowed to happen.
"Even though the door has been opened, it is so attached to the things of the outside world that it does not wish to be free. It is only when the soul begins to regain its original purity of heart and mind that it can at last want to be free of the desires of the flesh and outward attachments. The loving Master tries to avoid all possible discomforts to the child disciple by explaining what are the vices to be avoided and the virtues to be developed in order to regain this purity."
"Unfortunately, more often than not the words of the Master do not sink in and little or no action is taken by the disciple to amend his ways. Therefore, the Master Power must take firmer measures to bring home to the disciple the importance of the truths that have been explained in words. Hence the discomfort that is sometimes felt by the dear ones in their day-to-day living...If a child gets itself so dirty that the only way the mother can wash it clean is by using a scrubbing brush, can it be said that the child will feel comfortable during the scrubbing process? It will only feel comfortable after the scrubbing has ceased and it is shining clean and pure."
"Help and protection is always extended by the Master to his followers. He looks after their comforts in every way, both outer and inner. Even the effects of the reactions of the past - from the gallows to an ordinary pin prick - so much concession is given. As the mother sacrifices everything for the sake of the child, even so does the Master sacrifice everything for the sake of his children. The follower does not dream of what the Master does for him. He fills his followers with his own thought, with his own life impulses. When we remember him, he remembers us with all his heart and soul." (134)
"The Guru may give happiness or misery, for he has to make a beautiful form from a rough piece of stone and therefore has to wind up all the karmas; but a true follower will never complain, no matter what condition he has to face in life - no matter what hardships the Guru allows." (135)
“Masters are commissioned to take all to Sach Khand. He will not if you are not clean. Make my job easier. I must clean you. Masters always test their followers, each in his own methods. These tests are for advanced disciples - those who have advanced by the Master’s grace - and usually they are not aware of what is happening.” (136)
It is emphasized again that this "cleaning" is not to be understood dualistically only as something to prepare the soul to go to Heaven after death, but to be able to non-dualistically enjoy the intuition and living reality of Heaven here and now.
Michael Molinos, way back in 1675 wrote of this process of spiritual initiation followed by purgation:
“At the time of your conversion [or initiation], your Lord came to dwell within you...in the spirit...the inmost part of your being. Now for that celestial King to make even your soul His habitation, it is necessary that changes be wrought in your soul. The Lord purifies our soul as gold is purified in a terrible furnace of fire...Your Lord desires to purify your soul, and He can use a very rough file. Yes, He may even assault the purer and nobler things of your life! These assaults serve as a revelation to awaken the human soul...for the soul to truly discover, to truly know, just how miserable is its natural state.”
“Deeply within you is a place of internal peace and if you are to come through these periods and if you are not to lose that peace, it is necessary for you to believe. You must believe in the fineness of Divine mercy...even when that mercy humbles, afflicts and tries you...It is a certainty that the soul never really loves and believes more than at those times when it is afflicted. Whether you believe it or not (and whether you consent to it or not), those doubtings and fears and tribulations that beset you...are nothing else but the refinements of His love.” (137)
Bhai Sahib told Irena Tweedie:
“When the pain increases and becomes unbearable, it goes forever. This is the law. But you yourself interrupted it. So it was not to be...Faith and obedience are only possible if there is great love. Very subtly the Master puts you against him, before testing...Sometimes the test is impossible, too difficult to fulfill. But if one thinks: what can happen - I cannot more than die - and accepts it, then the test has been passed and one is ready for the high stage.” (138)
Pere La Combe, spiritual director of Madame Guyon, wrote:
“The soul that is destined to have no other support but God himself, must pass through the strangest trials. How much agony and how many deaths must it suffer before losing the life of self! It will encounter no purgatory in the other world, but it will feel a terrible hell in this.”
Scrubbing....An initiate on the path can hardly imagine what he has signed up for.
Sri Nisargadatta:
Q: Why is my faith weak?
M: Desires and fears have dulled your mind. It needs scrubbing. (139)
His master, Sri Siddharameshwar Maharaj, speaking of an even higher stage and of things somewhat beyond the scope of this section, but also included under the nature of ‘scrubbing,’ wrote of building a 'platform' through investigation and deduction of the four major bodies: Gross, Subtle, Causal, and Great-Causal, before the "Truth of the Self" can be invoked and established:
"The procedure for making something is quite different from the procedure of scrubbing and cleaning thereby making it absolutely smooth and appealing. Unless it has been manufactured in that finished condition, it will not be considered finished, nor will it return a fair price. Therefore, before becoming a Siddha, we must be aspirants for some time, persistently polishing the "Pure Knowledge" of the Great Causal Body. It must be made completely clean." (140)
We discuss his model of stages in Parts One and Four, but what he means here is that even after Self-Knowledge is realized after transcending the physical, subtle, and causal bodies, the Knowledge must be made firm by "polishing" it, that is, abiding in it long enough until even the sense of liberation from ignorance is also forgotten, resulting in the Pure state of the Self or Absolute. Needless to say, this will be difficult if the ignorance of the lower bodies continue to call for attention and pull the soul down to a lower point of view.
Master Weishan (771-853):
“Though the practitioner may get a moment of sudden awakening to the inherent truth from causal circumstances, he still has the flowing consciousness of manifold karma without beginning. The Dharma will cleanse that.” (141)
Narada Bhakti Sutras:
“Bhakti is our mother. She does not expect her infant child, embroiled in mud, to first clean itself and then climb into her lap. Rather, she picks up the child, bathes and wipes him clean, beautifies him and then offers him to the father’s (god’s) lap.”
A friend writes:
“One of my favorite stories in that book which you recommended to me, The Flowering of Grace (stories by devotees of Sant Rajinder Singh), is #97 in which Fannie is shown, during a Near Death Experience as a result of a cerebral stroke, the blemishes on her soul that would prevent her advancing spiritually. I especially like the story because it portrays the Lords of Karma (or, as she called them, Karmic Judges), as concerned with her growth and with providing her with opportunities, rather than as just cold, heartless meanies - even though she was to return to life paralyzed. Then Sant Rajinder Singh steps in and negotiates a compromise, “No, not paralyzed! No, no!”, promising to take responsibility for her growth. Great story.”
A similar example of purification of such blemishes, or “harmful traces,” while out of the body is given by Tulku Thondop:
“[Do Khyentse Yeshe Dorje (1800-1866)] got sick with small pox, which in those days was fatal. As a result, he expired and remained dead for fifteen days. Since he had exhibited unusual mystical power from his childhood, his followers didn’t touch his body, hoping that he would return to life. Do Khyentse felt that he was accompanied by his sister Dakini Losal Drolma, who was also a great adept, and two other women and a yogi. They traveled to many parts of the world, from the hell realms to the celestial realms.”
“Crossing many continents, they went toward the Glorious Copper-Colored Mountain, the pure land of Guru Rinpoche [Padmasambhava]. On the way, they met various beings at different places. Although he couldn’t understand their languages, he was able to communicate with them all through the power of intrinsic awareness of his mind.”
“At the beginning of a enormous bridge, his party was met by ten wrathful deities. The deities performed a rite of dispelling harmful traces from their human habits, even though they were realized masters who had been separated from their bodies.”
“After going through the outer and inner gates, they were met by a great adept holding a vase filled with nectar. The adept purified them by washing their impurities with the stream of nectar from the vase.”
“Then they entered a palace with inconceivable manifestations of prosperity. Inside, they saw Guru Rinpoche in wrathful form with such overwhelming power that Do Khyentse fainted away in great fear for a while. [ ~ “His countenance was as the sun shineth in his strength, and when I saw him, I fell at his feet like one dead, and he laid his right hand on me saying unto me: ‘fear not, I am the first and the last...And I counsel thee to buy of me gold tried in the fire that thou mayest be rich.’ ” (Rev.) ]
“When he regained consciousness he witnessed all the deities enjoying a human body as a feast. It seemed to him that the body they were enjoying was his own...Generally, resistance against giving up or losing our physical body, born of our habits of attachment, is strong. To get rid of that habit of attachment is a powerful spiritual feat.”
“Then they climbed up a great crystal stairway. Do Khyentse felt as if they were floating up like pieces of paper in the wind, not having gross bodies anymore, since those bodies had been devoured by the deities on the way. They entered an astonishingly beautiful and crystal palace...At the center of the palace, Guru Rinpoche was sitting on a precious throne, radiating rays of light in all directions...Then a dikini with a white complexion holding a skull in her hand approached Do Khyentse. She explained: “Guru Rinpoche is the embodiment of all the Buddha’s of the three times. His manifestations appear in every realm of the universe, like one moon with reflections in numerous vessels of water. Like a reflection in a mirror, you too are manifested by Guru Rinpoche and delegated to Tibet to serve human and nonhuman beings and to discover and preserve the mystical hidden teachings. Since you were obscured by womb defilement of your illusory body, your body was consumed by the deities as a feast. Now you have the body of light with the essence of wisdom...” (142)
Aadi writes:
“It is essential to understand that even with inner awakening, expansion beyond the mind, it is not sufficient to reach complete emancipation. Until the mind has become pure and the heart healed, the burdens of the past will not allow the soul to achieve true freedom. We cannot realize the state of surrender without undergoing a deep purification that enables our human nature to fuse with the soul.” (143)
Brunton explains how a disciple’s aspiration and intention influence this scrubbing process:
“The forces set in operation by his determined attempt to approach the Overself in every phase of his living habits eventually produce a vigorous effort on the part of his subconscious mind to cleanse itself of ancient accumulations of negative animalistic and egoistic tendencies. Although the process produces disagreeable and evil symptoms, it is not to be regarded as other than a self-purifying one, a natural way of vomiting debris from the depths, removing and expelling it. The more earnestly he takes to this quest, the more will his latent evil qualities be stirred up and then make their appearances in his character or conduct...Ordinarily they are suppressed in self-defense by the conscious mind, and their existence hidden because it has quite enough to deal with. But the candidate for illumination has flung out a challenge to vigorous war....If the higher forces were to descend upon them while they are purified only in parts and developed only in some faculties, these forces would prove harmful instead of helpful. Consequently, these parts are brought up by events to the surface of his life in order that they may be dealt with...He challenges the gods who takes to the Quest so seriously and, let him be warned, it will ferret out his weakest spot and expose it for his ultimate benefit." (144)
Fenelon writes skillfully at length on some of the subtleties of this scrubbing by the divine:
“As long as the least bit of self-love remains in the secret parts of your heart, God will hunt it down, and, by some infinitely merciful blow, force your selfishness and jealousy out of hiding: The poison then becomes the cure. Self-love, exposed to the light, sees itself in horror. The flattering lifelong illusions you have held of yourself are forced to die. God lets you see who you really worship: yourself. You cannot help but see yourself. And you can no longer hide your true self from others, either.”
“The death that God brings you will pierce deep within. Soul and spirit will be divided. He sees in you all that you cannot see. He knows exactly where the fatal blows should fall. He heads straight for that which you are most reluctant to give up. Pain is only felt where there is life. And in this situation life is precisely the place where death is needed. Your Father wastes no time by cutting into that which is already dead. If He wanted to let you remain as you are, He would certainly do so. He seeks to destroy your old nature. He can only accomplish this by cutting into that which is alive. Do not expect Him to attack only those obviously wicked desires which you renounced forever when you gave yourself to Him. Rather, He may test you by taking away the wonderful sense of freedom you feel, or by taking from you all that now brings you spiritual comfort. Will you resist? No! Allow everything! Volunteer for your own death, for God will only accomplish His work to the extent that you let Him. Do not push away the progress that God wants to make in your life.”
“In the long run, the pain of resisting the cross is harder to live with than the cross itself...Submit yourself peacefully and simply to the will of God, and bear your sufferings without struggle. Nothing so shortens and soothes your pain as the spirit of non-resistance to your Lord.”
“As wonderful as this sounds, it still may not stop you from bargaining with God. The hardest thing about suffering is not knowing how great it will be or how long it will last. You will be tempted to want to impose some limits to your suffering. No doubt you will want to control the intensity of your pain. Do you see the stubborn and hidden hold you have over your life? This control makes the cross necessary in the first place. Do not reject the full work that the power of the cross could accomplish in you. Unfortunately, you will be forced to go over the same ground again and again. Worse yet, you will suffer much, but your suffering will be for no purpose. May the Lord deliver you from falling into an inner state in which the cross is not at work on you! God loves a cheerful giver. (II Corinthians 9:7) Imagine how much He must love those who abandon themselves to His will cheerfully and completely - even if it results in their crucifixion!”
“So to strip self-love of its mask is the most humiliating punishment that can be inflicted. You see that you are no longer as wise, patient, polite, self-possessed, and courageous in sacrificing yourself for others as you had imagined. You are no longer fed by the belief that you need nothing. You no longer think that your “greatness” and “generosity” deserve a better name than “self-love.” Now you see your selfishness like that of a silly child, screaming at the loss of an apple. You are further tormented because you also weep in rage that you have cried at all!”
“Nothing can comfort you because your poisonous character has been discovered. You see all your foolish rudeness and condescension. Look at your own frightening reflection. Say with Job, “For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me.”(Job 3:25) Good! What your old nature fears the most is necessary for its destruction...All you have to do is to be quietly willing to see yourself as you are. The minute you do, you will begin to change.”
“There is no remedy for all this except hoping in God, who is as good and powerful as you are weak and bad. Yet he will probably let you grovel on at length without uprooting your natural disposition and your long-formed habits. That is because it is far better for you to be crushed by your own weakness and frailty and by the proof of your inability to escape from it, than to enjoy a sudden advance toward perfection.”
“You ask for a remedy, that you may get well. You do not need to be cured, but to be slain; seek not impatiently for a remedy, but let death come...Seek no consolation for self-love, and do not conceal the disease...But this is not to be accomplished by any exertion of strength. Weakness is become your only possession; all strength is out of place; it only serves to render the agony longer and more distressing. If you expire from exhaustion, you will die so much the quicker and less violently. A dying life must of necessity be painful. Cordials are a cruelty to the sufferer on the wheel, he only longs for the fatal blow, not food, not sustenance. If it were possible to weaken him and hasten his death, we should abridge his sufferings; but we can do nothing; the hand alone that tied him to his torture can deliver him from the remains of suffering life.” (145)
deCaussade, an admirer of Fenelon, also delves deep into the nature of this process as it advances:
“I know how much suffering this operation entails. The poor soul feels as if it would become utterly annihilated, but for all that, it is only nearer the true life. In fact the more we realize our nothingness the nearer we are to truth, since we were made from nothing, and drawn out of it by the pure goodness of our Lord. We ought therefore to remember this continually, in order to render by our voluntary annihilation a continual homage to the greatness and infinity of our Creator. Nothing is more pleasing to God than this homage, nothing could make us more certain of His friendship, while at the same time nothing so much wounds our self-love. It is a holocaust in which it is completely consumed by the fire of divine love. You must not then be surprised at the violent resistance it offers, especially when the soul experiences mortal anguish in receiving the death-blow to his self-love. The suffering one feels than is like that of a person in agony, and it is only through this painful agony and by the spiritual death which follows it that one can arrive at the fulness of divine life and an intimate union with God. What else can be done when this painful but blessed hour arrives, but imitate Jesus Christ on the Cross; commend one’s soul to God, abandoning oneself more and more utterly to all that this sovereign Master pleases to do to His poor creature, and to endure this agony for as long as He pleases.”
“This and a hundred other miseries...are permitted for two reasons. First, to humble you in an extraordinary degree, to make you realize what a heap of misery, what an abyss of corruption is yours, in allowing you to see what would become of you without the great mercy of God. Secondly, in order that by the interior supervention of fresh operations all these germs of death, hitherto hidden in your own soul, can be uprooted like noxious weeds, which only appear above ground that they may be more easily taken up by the skilled hand of the gardener. It is only after having completely cleared the ground that he can cultivate wholesome plants, sweet smelling flowers, and choice fruits. Let Him do this, give up to Him entirely the task of cultivating this rough ground, which left to itself could bring forth nothing but thistles and thorns. Do not be anxious. Be content to feel yourself greatly humbled and much confounded, remain profoundly abased in this heap of mire, like Job on his dung-hill; it is your right place; wait for God to draw you out of it, and meanwhile allow yourself to be purified by Him. What does it signify so long as you are pleasing to Him?”
“When this storm is past you will...not know how, sufficiently, to thank God for having been so good as to put His own hand to the work, and to operate within your soul in a few months, what with the help of ordinary grace would have taken you, perhaps, twenty years to accomplish, namely, to get rid of a hidden self-love, and of a pride all the more dangerous in being more subtle and more imperceptible. From this poisonous root grows an infinite number of imperfections of which you are scarcely conscious...You would have run a great risk of remaining for a long time subject to these defects, filled, almost without suspecting it, with vanity and self-confidence without either power or will to sound the profound abyss of perversity and natural corruption that you had within your soul...The. Heavenly physician has therefore treated you with the greatest kindness in applying an energetic remedy to your malady, and in opening your eyes to the festering sores which were gradually consuming you, in order that the sight of the matter which ran from them would inspire you with horror. No defect caused by self-love or pride could survive a sight so afflicting and humiliating. I conclude from my knowledge of this merciful design that you ought nether the desire nor to hope for the cessation of the treatment to which you are being subjected until a compete cure has been effected. At present you must brace yourself to receive many cuts with the lancet, to swallow many bitter pills, but go on bravely, and excite yourself to. filial confidence in the fatherly love which administers these remedies.”
“When you find yourself in such utter dejection that you cannot make a single act of any virtue whatever, beware of tormenting yourself by violent efforts but keep simply in the presence of God in a great silence of utter misery, but with respect, humility and submission like a criminal before his judge who sentences him to a chastisement he has well merited: and understand that the inferior silence of respect, humility and submission are worth more and purify better than all the acts that you, uselessly, force yourself to make, and which only serve to increase the trouble of the soul.”
“It would be very unjust to complain of this God of infinite mercy, Who alone knows how to purify your soul, a thing you would never have been able to do yourself. Your very complaints prove that you would never have had the courage to put an end to your self-love which alone impedes the reign of divine love in your heart. Bless our Lord then for sparing you the trouble, and because He only asks you to allow Him a free hand to accomplish this work in you.” (146)
“For without me ye can do nothing,” said Christ.
Scrubbing....what does it take for someone to want this?
In Fifty Verses of Guru Devotion we read:
"Marpa scolded and even beat Je-tzun Mi-la re-pa many times. This was not because he personally disliked him, but because out of compassion he saw the needs for skillfull means that were forceful. Thus if your Guru is wrathful to you, try to see this as a method he is using to tame your mind and lead you to Enlightenment. As a Buddha, how could he possibly hate you?" (147)
Marpa put Milarepa through many harsh tests - such as building nine houses only to be told to tear them down one by one. Even so he lamented that if he had been able to plunge his spiritual son Milarepa into utter despair one more time he would have saved him years of suffering to eradicate all of his impurities, and that he would have become an even greater master than he eventually did. The Milarepa story (148) has become one of the archetypal examples of the fierce purification that may come to the chosen - and willing - devotee.
Marpa’s predecessor, Naropa, also went through severe trials almost to the point that of death. This story apparently has several variations. According to Patrul Rinpoche (1808-1887), Naropa underwent twenty-four trials (twelve major and twelve minor) at the hands of Tilopa, including jumping off a nine-story tower and suffering great pain and physical damage, remaining he said, "like a corpse," after which Tilopa restored him to health; being beaten to within an inch of his life by angry mobs after Tilopa ordered him to steal; and also having red-hot bamboo splinters shoved under the nails of his fingers and toes by his guru, leaving him for several days with blood and pus spilling out of his wounds before being blessed by him once again. Finally one day Tilopa hit Naropa on the forehead with a sandal and the latter received all the qualities of his master's wisdom mind. The point of such stories lies in the recognition that guru yoga, or implicit faith and endurance of a true master's ways can in itself produce realization on the ripe disciple. Rinpoche writes:
"As the twenty-four trials undergone by the great pandita Naropa were, in fact, his teacher's instructions, they became the skillful means by which his obscurations were eliminated. They appear to be pointless hardships that nobody would think of as Dharma. Indeed, the teacher had not uttered a word of teaching, and the disciple had not done a moment of practice, not even a single prostration. However, once Naropa had met an accomplished siddha, he had obeyed his every command regardless of all difficulties, and in so doing achieved the purification of his obscurations so that realization had awakened in him." (149)
Shri Upasani Baba also spoke on this necessary purification:
"When God becomes very impatient to have somebody, he at once throws in his way all sorts of insurmountable difficulties, one after another, in quick succession; the person simply gets tired and disgusted with everything. In fact it is God who meets him first in the form of all the ailments and difficulties. Ailments and difficulties are very essential for a person who is sincerely desirous of attaining Godhead. Even a Satpurusha cannot take you to God. From my personal experience I can tell you that the greatest pain and difficulty - physical and mental - alone are able to take anybody straight to God." (150)
Such things are sometimes thought not to occur anymore, but, perhaps in another, unexpected form, who are we to say what is possible or necessary for a soul serious about liberation?
Another classic tale is the story of Kabir and the king of Bokhara, summarized from Tales of the Mystic East and other sources:
Saint Kabir's wife Mai Loi asks him why he should not give the king of Bokhara spiritual initiation. Kabir told her that he wasn't ready (in the old days Masters tested their disciples for a long time before giving them inner experience). She said he certainly looked like he was ready. Kabir said, let's see, and the king goes to work in their household for six long years, doing menial work without a word of complaint. Mai Loi said to Kabir, "the king is certainly ready now." But Kabir replied, "as far as I can see, his mind is not yet crystal clear." Then Kabir asks her to go to the roof and throw the entire sweepings of the house on the king's head when he passed by. The king gets upset and said if only they were in Bokhara she would not dare do that to him. So another six years pass. Finally, one day Kabir said to his wife, "now he is ready to receive the Nectar." His wife saw no change in the king, whereupon Kabir then told her go to the roof and pour the "night waste" [i.e., contents of the chamber pot] on the king's head. The king's reaction this time, however, was, "Oh Lord, I am even worse than that!" And, "as Kabir Sahib gazed on the king, the king's soul swiftly ascended, traversed the upper realms and ultimately merged in the Supreme Being. After this, Kabir Sahib said to the king, "Your devotion has been completed. Now, return to your kingdom."
The bottom line was exemplified in the story of Job, as told by St.John of the Cross:
“Job was not prepared for converse with God by means of those delights and glories that he says he was accustomed to experience in his God. But the preparation for this converse embodied nakedness on a dunghill, abandonment and even persecution by his friends, the fullness of anguish and bitterness, and the sight of the earth round about him covered with worms [Jb. 2.8; 3:17-18]. Yet the most high God, he who raises the poor from the dunghill [Ps. 2:7], was then pleased to descend and speak face to face with him and reveal the deep mysteries of his wisdom, which he never did before in the time of Job’s prosperity [Jb. 38-41].” (151)
"Whatever purifies you, is the correct road. I will try not to define it." - Rumi
David Torkington, writing in CRISIS magazine, Nov. 19, 2024:
“Long before a person can tangibly experience God’s love, something has to happen within prayer that is the key to everything. That something is that we must be weaned from the cupboard love that has infected us from the very beginning of the spiritual life. Far from experiencing spiritual delights at the outset of prayer, a beginner has to experience darkness, dryness, and aridity, not to mention battalions of distractions and temptations that make the believer think they are on the wrong path. It has been the teaching of Catholic spirituality from the beginning that it is in continually turning away from distractions and temptations that a person is making acts of love that eventually lead to a habit of selfless loving...The mystic St. Angela of Foligno calls this loving “divine loving” because it is the same sort of selfless, unconditional loving with which Christ loves us - and it is the only form of loving that, when learned in years rather than months, can unite us with Christ. Then - in, with, and through Him - we can contemplate God the Father and receive in return what St. Thomas Aquinas calls the fruits of contemplation - namely, the infused theological, cardinal, and moral virtues and the gifts of the Holy Spirit - to share with others.”
"Learned in years rather than months" is the key passage here.
Bhai Sahib gives his view of the significance of a divinely-appointed Master in regard to scrubbing:
“There is only one Teacher, only one Spiritual Guide in the whole world, for each of us. For only he alone is allowed to subject a free human being to sufferings and conditions - only he and nobody else....On the physical plane, or the worldly platform, as Guruji likes to put it, the Sufi training is chiefly a test of endurance. How much one can endure for the sake of love. How much and how long one can tolerate....It works this way: if one comes to the saint and the saint is pleased, he will clean your room. What is your room? Your heart. And the cleaning means that the samskaras are being pushed. This will cause great suffering. People will then say: he is punishing her. But in reality it is not so.” Bhai Sahib explained that this was the shakti or divine energy purifying the karmas of the body-mind: "Ancient karmas form part and parcel of the blood. It was in you. It would have dragged you back again and again into the womb, but from now on it will burn itself out. From time to time this fire will burn in your body. This is purifying fire, this suffering, and you will need a lot more…On our Line such suffering is given that there are no words for it…It is BECAUSE you love deeply that it happens…And the fact that the pain is sharper and deeper each time is a good sign. Pray that you should love more and more…”
“There are two Roads: the Road of Dhyana [meditation], the slow one, and the Road of Tyaga, of complete Renunciation, of Surrender: this is the Direct Road, the Path of Fire, the Path of Love. If one chooses the Way of the System, if it is done according to the System, then it takes a long time. If one chooses the Way of Love, it does not take long, relatively. But it is difficult. Life becomes very sad. No joy. Thorns everywhere. This has to be crossed. Then all of a sudden there will be flowers and sunshine. But the road has to be crossed first. There is nothing which can be done about it. People will hear one day that you have been turned out; and not only that, but other things too. And it is not the disciple who chooses which road to take; it is the Teacher who decides...If there is love, there is great uneasiness. The greater the love, the more the uneasiness. Love is not the same all the time. It cannot be. Love at times is intense suffering...The Path of Love creates a great psychological upheaval; not everyone can be subjected to this pressure.” (152)
The Path of Dhyana, of meditation, is the slower way; the Path of Fire or Love is the "crash course". It is the Master who decides which. It is interesting how similar Bhai Sahib sounds to what Sant Darshan Singh said at the outset of this section. And not surprising for, a Sikh by birth, Darshan was also a renown Persian poet, while Bhai Sahib was a Sufi Master and a relative of Sant Mat guru Lalaji.
Also recall the quote from Fenelon above: ”the hand alone that tied him to his torture can deliver him from the remains of suffering life.”
Perhaps the following bizarre tale could be considered as an example of “extreme” scrubbing. Bhai Sahib relates:
“I was present then, when it happened. I was there, and my Rev. Guru was there, and others too. The boy was the son of a disciple and the whole family were disciples of his: father, mother, uncles, all of them. They were all sitting there, and also the Master, the Teacher of the boy. The boy had a natural smiling face; he seemed always to smile, like my Rev. Father....He also had this expression. The Master looked at the boy and said: ‘Why are you smiling?’ And the boy kept smiling. At that time everybody used to have a stick. I still have mine today; you never see me go out without a stick. So, with the stick in his hand he began to beat the boy till the stick was broken. The boy kept the smile on his face. When the stick broke, he grabbed the heavy piece of wood with which wrestlers practice, and he continued to beat and beat till the head entered the shoulders and the shoulders into the body. One could not recognize who it was - nothing was there, just a mass of broken bones...flesh and blood were everywhere. Then he stopped and said to the relatives of the boy: ‘What is this? Am I not at liberty to do as I like?’
“‘Yes,’ they said, ‘we belong to you for life or death; you can do with us what you like.’ ‘Yes,’ he said, ‘I can do what I like,’ and he went inside. Some say he was sitting and chewing betel nut. Then he came out. ‘What is this?’ he asked. ‘Who is lying there?’ And, pointing to the mass of broken flesh which once was a human being, he said in commanding voice: ‘Get up!’ And the boy got up and was whole, and not a scar was seen on him. And he was told by his Teacher that from now on he was a Wali. He was a Wali all his life....”
I said that it seems pointless to kill a man and then to make him a Saint. Why commit such action? “Oh no,” he said....”You see, to make a Wali, it takes thirty or forty years. The physical body, the heart, the mind, is subjected to great suffering to clear out all the evils which are in the human being. And here the work was done in half an hour. How many evils were cleared away through such a terrible suffering. The boy loved him so much, always was sitting and looking at him. Never spoke before him. And was killed. Of course he was ready to be a Wali. Things are done in different ways according to the time and the people of the time.” (153)
Someone dear to me whom I shared this story with was shocked and simply replied, “disgusting” ! Which led me to thinking, what is the likelihood that this story was literally true? Is it even physically possible as described? And that the boy was smiling throughout the whole event? But if it is taken as an allegorical, albeit outrageous, tale told by a rather at times cryptic Satguru, about the pressurized process of grace that is activated in the company of a Saint for ripe souls, then perhaps it is not so far in its significance from what Sant Darshan Singh said about his own Master, that ”Hazur (Baba Sawan Singh Ji) used to say that once a saint has taken a soul under his wing, he is keen to compress the progress of twenty births into a single one. And if we desire to pack the accomplishments of twenty lives into a single one, we must pay for it."
Mark felt it was a true story, albeit an example of “crazy wisdom”; he compared it with an anecdote Paramhansa Yogananda told about Babaji burning a devotee with a stick to alter his destiny which was for him to die. One might also compare it with the stories of Milarepa and Naropa given above.
Lest one think these things could only happen in the East, many such amazing events have been recorded in our Christian history. While not an example of "scrubbing", the following story is of an equally miraculous and seemingly impossible revival of the dead. St. Vincent Ferrer (1350-1419) was one of the most famous of the Dominicans, with 200,000 converts and 40,000 miracles attributed to him:
"The father of a certain child had given Vincent lodging while he was on a missionary journey. His wife, a virtuous woman, suffered from bad attacks of nerves, and at times was close to madness. Upon his return from hearing one of Vincent's sermons, the father came upon a terrible tragedy. His wife had gone mad, cut their small son's throat, then chopped up the boy's body and roasted a portion of it, which she then attempted to serve her husband. When he realized what had happened, the man fled in horror and disgust to St.Vincent Ferrer. Vincent told him that...the tragedy would be for the glory of God. St. Vincent went with the father to the home and prayed as he gathered the bloody pieces together. He said to the father, "If you have faith, God, who created this little soul from nothing, can bring him back to life."
Vincent knelt and prayed. he made the Sign of the Cross over the reassembled body. The pieces became united together, the body came to life again, and Vincent handed over to the father a living child. This event is depicted in a painting by Francesco del Cossa in the New Picture Gallery in the Vatican." (154)
But, at any rate, truly speaking, how many want intense scrubbing? Perhaps only by degrees can one be made to want it. Or even, to want to want it. For most of us the mere touch of the breath of this dragon makes us run in fear. But the saints in all ages have spoken highly of it, and indeed, have begged it from God.
“Let me be, or at least seem to be, hard, unfeeling, indifferent, without pity, annoyed, and scornful. God knows how far it is from the truth, but He permits it all to appear this way. I shall be of much more use to you by this false and imaginary character than through my affection and real assistance. The point is not to know how you are to be kept alive, but how you are to lose everything and die.” - Fenelon (155)
“Babuji loves you too much,” said Satendra to me [Irena Tweedie] yesterday. “He does not, he treats me badly.” “But this is a sign of love,” said he. “I know the System. If he treats you badly, he has much love for you.” (156)
Ah, those Sufis, always pointing to the heart. Rumi wrote:
"I am amazed at the seeker of purity who when it's time to be polished complains of rough handling. Love is like a lawsuit: to suffer harsh treatment is the evidence. When you have no evidence the lawsuit is lost. Don't grieve when the Judge demands your evidence...That harshness isn't towards you, but towards the harmful qualities in you. (157)
In short, "Scrubbing" is a process or probationary period that purifies character from egoism and animality, and sensitizes one to intuition and further instruction or guidance. It simply must be passed through with as much dignity one can muster.
"If the Lord should give you power to raise the dead, He would give much less than He does when he bestows suffering. By miracles you would make yourself a debtor to Him, while by suffering He may become a debtor to you. And even if suffering has no other reward than being able to bear something for that God who loves you, is not that a great reward and sufficient remuneration...Whoever loves, understands what I say." - John Chrysostom
CHAPTER TWELVE
Zen Illness: mistaking Illumination for Liberation; Need for grounding: tending the “elixir field” or tanden
In the Zen tradition there is something known as “Zen sickness” or “the disease of Zen.” Here they are primarily talking about those who stop upon attaining an illuminative state that is still dualistic and mistaking it for Liberation. What in some other paths might be considered a rather high attainment, in Zen they pull no punches and call it a “disease”! Moreover, once having had a genuine, mature satori or breakthrough, they still insist on one doing the “practice after satori” before returning to the market place and presuming to teach others. That, of course, is a potential problem on all paths. But there is another use of the term, sometimes called “Zen illness.” This refers to an ungrounded, diseased condition of the body-mind as a result of too much meditation, in which the heart energy rises upwards instead of tending the ‘elixir field’ or tanden located below the navel.
This is a potential problem also with paths stressing a concentration on the ‘third eye’ center without a teaching of balanced psycho-physical integration. Bodily depletion and in extreme cases even insanity or schizophrenia can result. Depressions and even suicides have occured. In relation to Sant Mat practice, however, the latter risk is not just a technical one. A danger is present when one mentally interprets the path in a fundamentalistic fashion - seeking escape from a dangerous and frightening world, conceived as the source of ones suffering and pain - rather than as one of releasing and embodying the hidden splendor of ones own Heart here and now. Unfortunately much of the traditional teachings tend to encourage this by their manner of contextualization of the means and the goal. This is changing slowly, and is one of the primary reasons for our attempt in whatever small way to remedy this in this book by presenting a non-dual view within Sant Mat.
One, of course, can certainly overdo things. The great Hakuin, even after many satoris and much enlightenment, suffered from this ailment, which happens when the inner and outer life are not in harmony. The cure is to allow the heart’s vital energy to fill the lower body. The Buddha said the cure of many illnesses lay in ‘putting the heart down into the soles of the feet.’ (158)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
The nuts and bolts of the non-dual view from the Heart's Gaze: The difference between knowledge and love is that knowledge always tries to banish duality but love retains it as a precious treasure and itself remains without duality; There is no such thing as personal salvation, it is selfishness of the worst kind; When a man says that he has seen his internal self, he is still a yogi, but when he says that he has seen the Universe in himself, he has become a knower of Truth; There is no best way; Beware what you pray for; A note on the ego and intelligence; Paradox is inevitable; Ancient errors; All classifications and systemizations are in a certain sense artificial and arbitrary; Integration of experience and understanding
"The difference between knowledge and love is that knowledge always tries to banish duality but love retains it as a precious treasure and itself remains without duality...The heart is given away and it makes its center in the Beloved and remains fixed there. This is true knowledge. Knowledge does not mean merely to understand or to know. It actually means to become that which we really are, i.e., to know ourselves." - Kirpal Singh (159)
So wrote Kirpal SIngh when tasked by his Master, Baba Sawan Singh, to pen The Philosophy of the Masters series or Gurmat Siddhant. This seems as close to Advaita as Sant Mat can come. Of course, inner growth will reveal further refinements of both love and understanding. So we suggest a line from Sri Nisargadatta, a sage, for comparison. He said (my paraphrase):
“If you change your orientation from getting to giving, it will eventually dissolve the external world and leave only love in its place.”
This implies that the ‘world’ is not ‘out there’, but within you. Or, in another way of looking at it, it is projected through you, or, even, ‘is you’. But however one may view things, the mature sage is not content with a personal liberation. A contemporary non-dual student may have a genuine awakening of ‘no-self’, for instance, but until he sees the ‘other’ in himself he is half-baked. Similarly, the inner meditator is half-baked if he feels he needs to go inside to feel free or avoid ‘contamination’ by the ‘other’. Fear remains as a primary motivation even if it is unconscious. Here is what V. S. Iyer in strong words said about this. Iyer, as mentioned, was court philosopher of the Maharaja of Mysore for many years, Vedanta teacher of Paul Brunton in the 1930’s, and also teacher of Ramakrishna monks Nikhilinanda and Siddeswarananda:
“There is no such thing as personal salvation. It is selfishness of the worst kind. No gnani can attain it unless all other people attain it too. Those who talk of finding moksha for themselves are dualists who harbor the false notion that the individual ego is real and who are deceiving themselves.”
“The gnani of the highest order will always adapt himself to the needs of others who are suffering; he will limit himself outwardly and come down to their level. Thus if only yoga is their highest understanding, he will teach them yoga and nothing more. He will not refuse to help them because they cannot understand Vedanta, and thus leave them in their sufferings.”
“When a man says that he has seen his internal self, he is still a yogi, but when he says that he has seen the Universe in himself, he has become a knower of Truth - a sage - a gnani...The removal of the I is not enough to realize Brahman. It happens in sleep, for instance. There must also be the knowledge that everything is yourself. The mystic may make some claim. So a test is to be applied. The test is, is he doing anything for others?” (160)
Kirpal Singh said that “a true man is one who lives for others.” Zen Master Yuanwu (1063-1135) said much the same:
“Don’t be a brittle pillar or a feeble lamp. Don’t bat around your little clean ball of inner mystical experience. You may have understood for yourself, but what good does it do?” (161)
Further, contemporary Korean Master, Kusan Sunim (1901-1983), tells us that
“To be motivated by compassion for others produces a much stronger determination to practice than the single wish to obtain your own liberation from birth and death.” (162)
And
“It has been said that in the abode of the Buddhas there are no enlightened beings who transgress their precepts, and behind the doors of Bodhidharma, there are no patriarchs who freely indulge in unwholesome deeds. To behave in an unwholesome manner is simply to behave like an ordinary sentient being. Thus, a person with such conduct would never win the respect of sentient beings. Even though he may have had a great enlightenment experience, without being respected he would be unable to be of any benefit to others. Therefore, it is important to keep your precepts pure and understand how to maintain your moral integrity. Such a person is truly practicing meditation.” (163)
That says it in a nutshell. A teacher, as well as an aspirant after truth, must set an example, if he is not only in this for himself but for others. Life is hard enough, the recent days of crazy-wisdom may be over. Finally, with supreme simplicity, Sri Siddharameshwar writes:
“After knowing the Self intellectually, the best way of studying it and realizing it fully, is to try to make everyone happy. It is with this practice alone that the Self is seen to be pervading everything. The whole world is only “Knowledge.” Since everything is the Self, by making everyone happy, the Self is pleased.” (164)
So there it is, a tall order, a big job, no doubt. “Big job? Big revelation!” - Kirpal Singh. But the heart of a non-dual view.
Zen Master Tozan:
“Everywhere I am able to see Him;
He is me now;
I am not Him.
When we understand this
We are instantaneously with the Truth.” (165)
So how Is this done?
Good question! The short answer is that it gets done, in the divine economy. We will, however, try to answer by laying out some broad perspectives for clues to understanding.
Relativity is very vast, complex and multi-faceted. So people, in their path to awakening, will experience many different 'stories' of what is happening. All of them are right, and also wrong. They are relative! Two aspects to awakening - a more universal aspect that transcends individual differences, and a more relative aspect that is, ultimately, unique to each individual at one level, and at other levels, is still relative but in ways that can be grouped together with other ways (inversion/samadhi/inner journey paths, outer journey paths, kundalini stories, pure insight stories, initiatory stages, growth in service ability stories, returning to God stories, non-story stories, etc.). Both aspects - universal and relative - are inescapable aspects of our experience of spirituality. And so, at the story/relative level, there will be differences that reflect different relative truths about the nature of reality. Chakras, planes, bodies, qualities, insights - all can be arranged in an order and process. The whole or integral truth is realized through seeing the relative truths in each story, but also its limitations. Gradually they all come together into an comprehensive perspective from which the relative and universal truth of awakening can be appreciated in any path or individual description of the way.
There is no best way. Each person is exactly where they are at in a relative story of awakening - and can only really grow by growing in Self-knowledge (call it intuition, wisdom, realization, insight), right now, right here, from where they are, about what is happening right in front of them, reflected in their experience of their life, their body, their feelings and thoughts. This is their inner and outer environment, and it is always a perfect mirror of their state of presence - the current level of their realization here and now. And they can only grow from here in terms of their own growth of realization, here and now, about what is 'going on', who they are, what is so. That is it. There is only that. Everything else is different relative stories of how experiences can unfold as an expression of their experience of that process. This includes viewing the mind or the body as a 'disease', as Ramana and Nisargadatta said on many occasions. We need not buy that old-school teaching, no matter how great they were otherwise. So the most 'direct' path is one that understands that and embraces that process right here and now, and rejects any belief that there is a need to go anywhere to realize that. That does not mean going somewhere is wrong. It is a process that reflects a profound relative truth about an aspect of what does go on as our realization expands. But it is a lop-sided story. It over-emphasizes the ascending aspect, where realization extends out to include all the inner planes that are also aspects of our relative nature and so will be 'included' in our comprehensive experience of reality as nondual realization grows in us. But we do not need to 'travel' there to get this balancing out. It is okay if we do. But then we must 'integrate' it. Because final non-dual realization integrates everything from a center that is nowhere and everywhere. So for some, this journey inward can be very balancing as a way of expressing non-dual unfoldment by honoring and experiencing other aspects of reality and truth, but it is incomplete if not finally held in a radical non-dual embrace that does not focus on journeying there as the goal. Still, it can be a very powerful thing to do. And one can find out that there is 'no one' before such an expansion, or at the end - or many times in between.
A more direct path is to cultivate the state of presence (to whatever degree that is possible for each of us at our stage), in our current life situation, with the insight that what we perceive as 'around us' is not an obstacle, a problem, a hindrance, or anything else. The state of the world (as we perceive it), the condition of our life, our body, our psyche, are all reflecting back to us our own state of presence, and our 'goal' is to be with all of that, trusting that through cultivating the qualities of presence - awareness, equanimity, surrender, patience, trust, peace, and so on - and that intuitive insight naturally grows, which is the essence of all these qualities, so they continue to deepen, and every question will be illuminated, every emotional issue resolved, every disease will be cured, every paradox illuminated. Every place where there is suffering is showing us a place where our own intuitive realization is 'destined' to grow, as it is present in our experience as a reflection of our own dharma to untangle that 'koan'. So why would one want to journey away from that? Our dharma is here with us now staring us in the face as our own experience of life and myself. Everything we need to grow is right here, now. We need only realize this and face it and the rest takes care of itself. We must stop (a hard task!) rebelling against the curriculum that reality has dealt us (which is our total karmic situation) and face it with truth, surrender, courage and equanimity - and that will be our fastest way 'out'. Because to truly achieve Self-realization is to face ourselves in the mirror - and everything we perceive in our life and mind right now is that mirror. What do we realize is the nature of everything that we see? We see our own state of realization! Because everything in our body/mind and world around us is infinitely subject to levels of reinterpretation. That is the nature of reality! So we just look at it as best we can, seeking to open to deeper understanding. Then the whole knot of our own delusion gradually unravels, revealing deeper and deeper truth, which resolves every issue. So any suffering that is there in our experience is just more realization to harvest. And by being with it in this way, it will be harvested more 'efficiently', and our own personal experience of suffering as an apparently separate being will come to an end simultaneously with all our personal suffering coming to an end. They are one and the same. This means that wisdom will come to fruition and karma will come to resolution simultaneously.
Obviously, in this view, there is nowhere to go and nothing to get rid of, fix, heal, transform, per se - just be with what is there, be 'educated' by it, and awaken. And in this context, we learn what the lesson is at hand, not what someone else tells us is the truth that we should know. Down the road new realizations will come. Fine. What are we needing to realize right now? What is the next insight? That unfolds very naturally by surrendering to the curriculum as it arises right in front of us as our life right now. Most of us don't often realize that we are right where we are supposed to be, learning the lessons we are meant to, in a way that is absolutely right for us, according to a path of unfoldment that is, at one level, deeply unique to us. We are the path. All external teachings are various ways to try to lead a person to that realization. But eventually we realize that, although there is tremendous support for each of us on the path (we are up to our eyes in grace), we still have to realize it ourselves. That itself is now in our point of view. That is in our realization. And that is not something on some other plane. It is 'who we are' in our essential understanding right now. Surrendering means 'getting this'. Which means facing ourselves and our lives and being educated. The nature of awareness is that awareness notices things. Awareness, by its nature, has perspectives. And the process is cumulative. Awareness grows in insight all the time. A stage arises where awareness realizes that this is what is going on, and figures out ways to 'cooperate' with the process. This spirit of conscious cooperation with the curriculum we call the spiritual path. It is not forced on us. It is not about measuring up to something outside of ourselves, or pleasing someone like a guru or Deity. It is just what awareness does, and always has been doing! Then it reaches a stage where it realizes that this is what is happening and decides to expedite it.
This wisdom to realize what is happening, and to cooperate, is a great, multi-faced wisdom that does not come all at once. It comes in stages and aspects. So it can get stronger and clearer. If there is great suffering, then that means there is a great clarification going on. And this 'is' purification. Nobody is doing it to us. In on perspective, we can be said to be doing it to ourselves. We (and the whole world-process, as PB liked to say), bring into our lives exactly what mirrors our own process of growth of insight. The state of our presence, our awareness, our realization is perfectly mirrored by the 'outer' situation (which is both our life and our body/mind). They fit together perfectly. So if the 'outer' is a crisis, then the 'inner' is changing rapidly and learning some turning point realizations.
A note on the ego and intelligence
This leads up to the tendency on advaita to posit either the egoic consciousness or the absolute, and nothing in between. And to place a very negative spin on the ego. An example is seen in a quotation from one teacher in which he says, paraphrased from memory, "the ego can't be seen but it has a smell; only he who is free of egoic concern can tell what is useful for spiritual awakening and what is not." Now, there is nothing wrong with this statement, but we feel it is somewhat incomplete. First, one needn't be 'free of egoic concern to be able to 'smell the ego' - one only needs to be reasonably sick and tired of one's game in order to recognize it when it arises. If one is really free of egoic concern one is enlightened! Of course, there are degrees of this. One teacher of mine said it would be good enough if one got rid of 70% of his egoism. Second, and more importantly, however, this reflects the advaita tendency to negate manifestation, or all that is not the state of presence. It paints a picture of ego that does not recognize it as a tool of the Soul, which in fact is a dynamic center of intelligence that guides our path to enlightenment, and helps us check on our state before and after enlightenment as well. Advaita would have the state of presence, or attention aware of attention, consciousness, as the only thing of worth. Subsequently, the active persona, the intelligence that can think consciously and intently, as contrasted with only being a passive witness to thoughts coming in from the subconscious, is essentially dismissed as either unimportant, unreal, or nonexistent ("the ego is a myth" - Colin Drake). But this is not a wholistic position. The self-reflexive movement of consciousness that is ego is an evolutionary advance, says Aadi, and while we can certainly get stuck in it, it is necessary for our growth. Let him explain:
"Who we are, in the mind, is composed of two centers. One, is the static centre of the State of Presence which does not change. Second, is the dynamic centre of our intelligence. This dynamic centre is always in movement, and it relates to both: to the State of Presence and to the gross level of spontaneous thinking coming from the subconscious mind. This intuitive intelligence is very important for it allows us to grow and to understand the process of awakening...A longtime ago, in India, a concept was created that one is not a doer, that one is purely a Witness. This concept is coming from the awakening to the centre of Consciousness. When the State of Presence is awakened, the mind becomes witnessed from behind and moves to the periphery. The movement of thoughts is no longer in the centre. In the centre is this non-dual Awareness which is, so to speak, witnessing the mind. This concept, however, is not completely correct. This concept implies that one identifies oneself fully with the State of Presence and refuses to see the self-conscious movement of intelligence as being an integral part of Me. In this what we perceive the mind and its intelligence a something just happening on the screen of Consciousness, and not being Me. However, much more accurate is to say that they both constitute the reality of Me. You are the witness and you are the intuitive intelligence as well...and, in truth, it is only because you are this intelligence that you can discover the State of Presence and are able to relate to it. You, as the intelligence, relate to the State of Presence...The traditional teachings, which have been created a few thousand years ago, did not discover how the Inner State and the movement of intelligence relate to each other." (166)
So what he seems to be saying is that the State of Presence and the active intelligence are both parts of the I Am, the whole Me, or Soul. This relates to what PB wrote above that "the spiritual evolution which requires him to abandon his ego runs parallel to the mental evolution that requires him to perfect it." This allows a realistic, dynamic non-duality to unfold.
David Hawkins adds this perspective:
"The safeguards that protect one along the way from the temptations that arise consist of forewarning plus humility, gratitude, and, importantly, respect...Humility is paradoxically a quality of respect. It is also wise to respect even the ego itself, for without its efforts over great eons of time one would not have even survived long enough to seek to transcend it. It is a mistake to set up the ego as one's enemy tp be conquered. It is more profitable to merely adopt it as a pet and melt it with compassion. Whatever the ego did in the past was because, like a puppy, it just did not know better...There is also no profit in personalizing it. Even the ego that 'should have known better' actually did not, or it would not have made an error."(167)
This, then, is one depiction of the path. Obviously, there are infinite perspectives because the I AM is infinite with infinite angles of perspective and no one being can lay claim to them all, nor should he. When followed to completion, however, one rather complex way of putting it is that there is a non-dual realization, and the state of presence and the environment collapse into a state of radical transcendence (nirvikalpa), in which we are reborn into a new octave of spiritual development, re-emerging as a state of permanent sahaja, and with a new pattern of phenomena arising which reflects not a story of coming to our own liberation or non-dual realization, but our integration of that state of non-dual presence with planetary karma/story/evolution. Or one could more simply say that our heart expands to embrace more of the whole. Are we then Soul, Oversoul, the One, Consciousness only? It is a mystery. Individuality continues to exist, but not as the experience of a separate selfhood (which never existed anyway), but as a self that is an integral part of a total Presence. This Presence does not favor universality or individuality, but realizes them as interdependent parts of a Global Realization Beingness that each individuality is an aspect of. There is no need to negate individuality to enter this state of realization. But knowing that this is what we all realize in liberation (whether our relative wisdom understands it exactly this way or not), does not mean that we should strive to experience that right now. That realization comes quite naturally when it is ripe. We just need to be present with what is right in front of us in our experience now, surrender to that curriculum, and have beginner's mind, letting the insights that arise be the learning of the moment. If it doesn't seem like insight is happening, then it is suggested we look back over a period of greater time like a month or a year and ask ourselves - have I grown in understanding? But we must not set up an idea of what that understanding must be - like do I 'get' non-dual awakening, have I realized there is 'no person', or have I gone to Sat Lok? If we set up that kind of preconceived idea of what learning looks like, we will usually decide nothing has happened, and will feel disappointed, discouraged, and despairing - which is its own form of learning. But if we learn to appreciate the subtle, gradual expressions of wisdom and intuition as they unfold day by day, week by week, then we gradually come to realize that growth is happening all the time in ways we never noticed.
One can say we practice in one form or no-form essentially to enable or allow grace to work in us and on us and as us. PB writes:
“Once he has touched this stillness briefly, learned the way to it, and comprehended its nature, his next task is to develop it. This takes time and practice and knowledge. Or, rather, the work is done on him, not by him. He has to let be.” (168)
Note the understatement in his phrasing: once he has "learned the way to it, and comprehended its nature" - this speaks volumes. Its scope is the entire path.
At one stage, then, effort and grace, as well as karma and grace, are seen as mutually-invoking. At a further stage, they are seen as inseparable. Grace, moreover, need not be seen as something just ‘always there, one need only open to it’, or solely ‘the Overself’s benign and loving presence’, for there is a third component: the ecclesiastical body of saints and liberated masters, who, one with the Nirvanic condition, act as conduits of grace, and may, within certain laws, alter karmic patterns favorably to one’s spiritual benefit, as well as activate forces within one, be they ‘shakti or siva’ oriented (i.e., energetic or conscious in nature - which are ultimately the same), that may in some cases be almost said to create a unique path for each so blessed aspirant (such as ‘the Path of Fire’ mentioned by Irena Tweedie’s master). In which case any stages may be compacted to the maximum extent possible - and asked for. For remember, PB has warned us:
“Beware what you pray for. Do not ask for the truth unless you know what it means and all that it implies and nevertheless are still willing to accept it. For if it is granted to you, it will not only purge the evil out of you but later purify the egoism from your mind. Will you be able to endure this loss, which is unlikely to be a painless one?”
Or as deCaussade wrote:
"When this storm is past you will understand..so keenly and distinctly that you will not know how, sufficiently, to thank God for having put His hand to the work, and to operate within your soul in a few months, what with the help of ordinary grace would have taken you, perhaps, twenty years to accomplish, namely, to get rid of a hidden self-love, and of a pride all the more dangerous in being subtle and more imperceptible." (169)
This much we can certainly expect to be true: a true humility first and last remains one's sheet-anchor:
“Here [in the Void] they have naught to gain or get, no glorious spiritual rapture to add to their memories, no great power to increase their sense of being a co-worker with God. Here their very life-blood is to be squeezed out as the price of entry; here they must become the feeblest of creatures...Others may believe that he stands in the great Light, but he himself has no particular or ponderous self-importance." (170)
Of course, this is also how the Satgurus speak. They say that one does becomes a 'conscious co-worker of the divine plan', because, while recognizing one's nothingness, one also sees that He is doing it. And for this one’s life-blood is squeezed out, even before the depths of the Void, as one should ‘die’ at each plane quit by the soul. APB did acknowledge this paradox of being a co-worker elsewhere, saying that one will learn to co-operate as much with the Higher Will as he once refused to do earlier, but from another perspective the notion of 'two' wills will ultimately be transcended. "At the edge of the Void both God and the soul meet for the last time," he adds.
Paradox is inevitable.
Okay. Let’s continue. One develops a sixth sense on when to surrender to the movement of grace within and when ones own efforts - even if they be the effort to make no effort - are required. Only now, at a later stage, is one capable of 'non-doing', which does not mean 'non-vigilance', only that it is a very delicate kind of work that is needed, not the gross effort made at the outset of the quest. The intuition has a much greater role to play. The danger of offering or explaining this later-stage teaching to the beginner is that he will make the mistake of assuming that 'no-effort' is a way or the way. And then he may just stagnate, trying to believe that he is 'already realized', when the depths of his being remain unplumbed. To realize the Soul is not just a matter of 'getting it’ as some advaitists may claim.
A great furnace of kenosis and metanoia takes place between the Long Path of effort and Short Path of no-effort. Given sufficient time and providential karma, one becomes a new creature, through a deep cleansing. It cannot be done in isolation, but usually takes the whole world or cosmos to do it. Which is why they call this place 'the womb of the Buddhas', and 'the footstool of the gods.' The result is a deep humility, sense of responsibility, and faith in God.
Ancient errors
mKas Grub dge legs dpal bzang (1385-1438), disciple of the great Tsong kha pa, spoke of the lack of appreciation for the depths of the quest in the practitioners of his day:
"When the wise begin to analyze what the state of greatest fulfillment for themselves and others is, they will not be satisfied with methods that eliminate suffering and bring about a form of happiness that lasts only the length of this life. The gateway for those who especially seek higher states from the next life on is but one: the teachings, a banner waving over the three worlds, of the one renowned as the Lord Buddha, the great impartial friend of the world."
"The ultimate goal toward which every Mahayanist strives is the unity of the dharmakaya and the physical body. To obtain them, one must rely on the inseparability of methods that accumulate the two masses of merit and gnosis into a combined whole. Accumulating these two masses into a combined whole in this way depends on finding certainty as to the non-erroneous way in which the two truths are brought together into a combined whole under the exposition of the basic view. Moreover, unless one has truly found certainty in regards to the working of dependent arising, whereby individual causes give rise in an orderly way to their individual effects, the accumulations of one's mass of merit will not be accomplished faithfully and from the heart, as profound certainty that the mass of merit will give rise to the desired effect will not have arisen."
"There is no way to find peace
Outside of the Arya Nagarjuna's path.
Those who fall outside of the two truths, the conventional and reality,
Having fallen outside of the two truths, are not liberated."
In another treatise he lists some of the views he has criticized, among them being "relaxing without feigning anything," "thinking about the consciousness present now," "noticing whatever conceptual thought happens to arise," "meditation on the ineffable object," "seeking who you are," and "looking for the mind." Any of these sound familiar? History repeats itself! He continues:
"All of these great dialecticians who argue on a variety of topics, such as the emptiness of self and the emptiness of other, and on whether reality truly exists, do not differ in the least when it comes to practicing the meaning of the profound emptiness. Whether they believe that they are practicing the idiot's meditation of not training in anything whatsoever, the practice of the Great Master of the Tripitaka, or that they are practicing the profound completion stage of the anuttarayoga tantra, they all concur on this one point: they posit that no mental object should be established, that the mind should apprehend nothing. This will be seen to be a great den of iniquity when looked upon by those of sharp faculties."
"Although one can make some slight distinctions between the variety of tenets of these so-called sages, come time to set forth their views concerning emptiness they do not meditate in accordance with these distinctions that they have made...Therefore, they hold to the doctrine that to create nothing within the mind is to meditate on reality, and thus they err in so far as they end up not being able to meditate on selflessness. They repudiate the practice of the path that is the counteractive measure against the way in which we grasp at a self, the root of cyclic existence. They exert themselves in a kind of practice that does not the slightest harm to the way we grasp at the self. Hence, one should be aware of the fact that although many of our own Tibetan practitioners pride themselves on having meditated assiduously on reality for the whole of their lives, that they have not managed to put even the slightest dent in their grasping as a self is a valid effectual reason proving that their practice is faulty. Although they may have attained some level of expertise concerning the proofs and refutations involved in setting forth the view of emptiness at the time of study, when it comes to practicing the profound meaning, they teach a kind of idiot's meditation saying, "create nothing at all in your mind...See for yourself, is there anything to be identified?" As soon as they find some belief of the sort, "this alone is the reality of the mind," they immediately abandon analysis in the logical sphere."
"Because they believe that when it comes down to meditating on reality one ought not to create anything in the mind, they must of necessity believe that when they set forth they ought not to set forth even in terms of selflessness. In the same way, they must accept that one ought not to put forth even a theory of reality...By holding to such a view there arises a nihilistic attitude in regard to all of the aspects of method. For example, there arises the view that because charity and moral conduct, prostration and offerings, all require conceptualization, they are things to be abandoned...Nowadays there are idiots who understand nothing al all of the view of emptiness and yet who understand the perfect method of meditation in terms of the teaching that one should remain lucid and clear without creating anything in the mind [a reference to Dzogchen]. Such meditative practices which claim that one should not apprehend either the existence or the nonexistence of a self and that one should abandon whatever is apprehended are in no way different from the meditation of the asamjna (samapatti). There is no being whatsoever who has not generated this trance state in his or her mental continuum at some past time [i.e., in some past life, and it has not freed him from cyclic existence]. So please distinguish carefully between not meditating on a self and meditating on selflessness!" (171)
Strong words, and they sound so familiar!
Garma C.C. Chang brings to our awareness the recognized distinction made in Zen and Ch’an Buddhism between the awakening to prajna-truth (or the immediate awakening to transcendental wisdom, emptiness, or no-self) and Cheng-teng-cheuh (sabyaksambodhi), which is the final, perfect, complete enlightenment of buddhahood:
"A great deal of work is needed to cultivate this vast and bottomless Prajna-mind before it will blossom fully. It takes a long time, before perfection is reached, to remove the dualistic, selfish, and deeply rooted habitual thoughts arising from the passions. This is very clearly shown in many Zen stories, and in the following Zen proverb, for example: “The truth should be understood through sudden Enlightenment, but the fact (the complete realization) must be cultivated step by step. (172)
Psychotherapist and spiritual teacher Michael Hall, like Ed Muzika above, summarizes the essence of this consideration in an essay, "The Curse of Awakening":
"The great Japanese Zen master Hakuin once noted that he had seventeen great awakenings and thousands of minor ones. He was continuing to practice assiduously as he made the comment. Hakuin was practicing in a culture and a spiritual tradition in which there was a profound respect for the infinite varieties and degrees of awakening and its embodiment by a human being. In the West we love to simplify, ignore nuance, and cut to the chase. What are we to make of Hakuin’s statement, when so many current teachers claim that they woke up at a particular moment in time, and then are done? What would Hakuin think if he wandered into today’s spiritual marketplace free for all?"
"Even so, how could spiritual awakening be a curse? Isn’t awakening to your true nature the most important experience available to a human being? Well, yes and no. Much has been written about the obvious importance of self-realization, and does not need to be repeated here. What are the downsides? We will only address one potential downside here, and that is the tendency to believe the erroneous assumption that in a genuine awakening you wake up once and for all, and you are finished. Nothing could be further from the truth."
"There are two major aspects to spiritual awakening. The first aspect is the non-dual realization itself. All major spiritual traditions (Zen and Tibetan Buddhism, traditional Advaita Vedanta) which have incorporated awakening as a central aspect of their teaching recognize that there are many “levels” of awakening. Direct awareness itself does not have levels, or any other qualities that can be described. However, the manifestation and embodiment of this awareness by a human being living at a particular time, in a particular culture, and in a particular body-mind with its own unique history and lineage is subject to infinite degrees of realization. This distinction between pure awareness and its embodied manifestation, which seems so obvious and elementary, has eluded many current commentators, especially those from the neo-advaita perspective. From the perspective of the absolute (non-dual) there are no levels or degrees of anything. Simultaneously and equally true is the perspective of the relative (dual), in which discrimination and progressive development are real and important. Ordinary ways of thinking and perceiving deny the truth of the absolute, which is without degrees and is unchanging-the birthless and deathless. Much current teaching on awakening only acknowledges the absolute while completely ignoring the equal value and importance of the relative. Of course the ultimate realization completely transcends the dual and the non-dual while denying neither. This unfettered, fully embodied awareness moves freely in the world without concern for such matters. This freedom in motion knows neither before nor after, yet shows up for appointments on time."
"Our concern here is with the denial of the relative once the absolute is realized. The enduring, experiential realization of the absolute is not the end of the path. In many ways, it is the beginning. This realization must be embodied and manifest in this body and mind in this time and in this place. The embodiment of non-dual awareness can be seen as having three major components or aspects, representing the mind, the body, and the emotions. There could also be other major aspects, such as the energetic, but these three are our focus now. What does someone look like who has truly embodied this awareness fully? How do they act, talk, and think? We may have fixed ideas about how we believe they should act, but how do they, in fact?"
"Even with a deep and enduring non-dual realization, which is still quite rare, it is mistaken to assume that all psychological and biological problems disappear. Deeply realized beings do not become omniscient. Nor do they suddenly become skilled and knowledgeable psychologists who can ably assist with any personal problem. Yet, the questions asked of almost any teacher in any context are nearly exclusively psychological in nature. Why do we assume that a deeply realized spiritual teacher would be able to comment on profound personal problems in a helpful manner? A few years ago I attended two 5-day silent retreats with a well-known spiritual teacher for whom I have enormous respect. Virtually every single question asked was psychological in nature. The questions were about loss, addictions, codependency, grieving, anger, dysfunctional relationships with lovers, children, or parents, terror of intimacy, chronic physical or emotional pain, and so forth. I do not remember a single question about awakening or spiritual practice, but I assume there must have been a few. Doesn’t that seem somehow odd?"
"While some conditioned and automatic programming may weaken or largely disappear in the flash of deep self-realization, plenty is left over. How do we understand and address these ‘leftover’ issues? It is true that many of these leftover issues may gradually dissipate somewhat over time through the normal processes of living. That is one reason why major spiritual traditions caution against purporting to teach or even discusses self-realization until it has been thoroughly embodied. This process is open-ended but can easily take 5-10 years or more for it to thoroughly marinate and stabilize in a given individual. It is understood that during this ‘deepening’ process an active effort is being made to see through remaining blocks that obstruct direct awareness from operating freely through the body-mind.” (173)
While we agree with the gist of this encapsulation, we question the assumption behind the time frame given, or that in fact any kind of 'absolute' non-dual realization is first attained prior to the integrating stages. This seems to be the logic behind the Buddha's four stage/life-model, where non-dual realization, 'sahaj samadhi', and 'timelessness', is touched upon in each stage, and several lives, while one is yet within the realm of relativity. Thus, in this view true and complete non-dual realization is quite rare.
PB summarizes much of this line of consideration:
"All classifications and systemizations of the mystical ascent are in a certain sense artificial and arbitrary. They exist to satisfy the intellect's requirements but by themselves they cannot satisfy the Oversell's requirements. Aspiration, faith, determination, sacrifice, or service may, if carried to extreme intensity, upset all such schemes and quickly win its Grace. The aspirant will pass through a succession of levels of spiritual awareness, each higher than the one before. Between the first step on the mystical path and the gaining of its glorious prize, an existence of ups and downs, of terrible darknesses and exhilarating enlightenments, of shameful weakness and satisfying endeavor, awaits him."
"Owing to the presence of such unknown factors as Grace and emotional stability, a fixed period cannot be assigned for development and it is not possible to make correct, generalized statements about the time required for its various stages. This is entirely a matter of the individual's situation, character, and the developments he has brought over from former births. Also it would be wrong to suppose that during the ascent, these stages always and necessarily follow each other in the prescribed order. This would have to be the case if we were climbing a physical mountain like the Matterhorn or if we were mastering an intellectual profession like law. But here there is, first, an X-factor involved - Grace - and, second, delayed action tendencies or acquirements from former earth lives. Therefore, the different stages may sometimes exist side by side." (174)
Integration of experience and understanding
An awakening itself is traditionally said to be recognized and understood through both guidance and intelligence - the latter which may actually take much longer to develop than the awakened states themselves. For one without the other won’t do. “Is understanding nothing?” said Damiani. One must understand what one has awakened to. One must also know ‘who’ recognizes that awakening, and not just assume that it is 'awareness' that is aware of 'awareness', or 'experiencing' that experiences 'experiencing,' or any such conclusion.
Once established, one must make steady and integrate that understanding to create a platform from which he is launched into new depths of realization. It is a process. Awakenings, then, are sudden, while enlightenment is the fruit of a great evolution. At least, that's the general idea.
Much of this hinges on what one assumes enlightenment to be. For Edward Salim Michael enlightenment is, for most seekers, only the beginning of an arduous journey to emancipation. That is, for him enlightenment signifies the awakening of luminous presence, or the experience of the void, but in itself it does not immediately transform the lower nature:
"Something of this unusual and beatific state must start to accompany the seeker when occupied in his daily work as well...Enlightenment does not necessarily mean liberation...The aspirant will have to face the hard fact that he is still an incomplete being, full of hidden undesirable tendencies, lacking in will and inner strength, and as yet unworthy to serve in a befitting manner. Even if at this stage he tries to impart to others whatever higher knowledge he may have gained, the latter risks being mixed up with inaccuracies, spiritual pride, and sometimes salt and peppered with a little fantasy born of the concealed desire to appear important in other people's eyes...If the aspirant cannot muster in himself the inner courage patiently to face and suffer gain and again the truth of who he is in himself, with all his open or hidden negativities, ill will, conceit, laziness, instability, stupidity, unreliability, and so on, then his sadhana will not have fulfilled its true function for his transformation. It will simply remain a high sounding word in his mouth, empty and unproductive, like a seed fallen on poor soil." (175)
Thus, on this view even a non-dual awakening may in fact serve to provide the strength to send one down the rabbit hole of his dark side, which must be uprooted completely for true liberation to become stable and the 'gravitational pull' of terrestrial existence to be removed from center stage for a higher, truer life to be realized. Of course, some teachers disagree with any classification of a 'higher' or 'lower' self, an 'animal' side, or any hint of something negative or needing to be transcended. And we are in many ways in sympathy with such a view, within certain limits.
PB reminds of perhaps the most important quality to remember and cultivate in our life and practice:
"So important is this virtue of humility that it may be labelled both first and last. The asserted spirituality which lacks this quality but which makes its own personality occupy a prominent position ought to be regarded with suspicion. That is why upon those who really do aspire to the very highest there descends the dread phenomenon of the dark night of the soul. When later they emerge from this awful experience, they emerge with all vanity ground down to powder and all pride burnt down to ash.." (176)
Kabir likewise said:
"So what if you have dropped illusion?
You didn't drop your pride.
Pride has fooled the best sages,
Pride devours all." - Bijak
Besides the supreme qualities like sincerity, kindness, patience, determination, humility, and discrimination, which Adyashanti says are heart qualities that help open the door for the absolute to flow, somehow the ‘seed of enlightenment’ must be planted, by grace or by a master, when one is ready and all things are in alignment for it. As Santideva proclaimed:
“The thought of Enlightenment has arisen within me I know not how even as a gem might be gotten by a blind man from a dunghill."
This seed is many things: faith, trust in being, attention awakening to itself, the thinker awakening to itself, consciousness becoming self-aware. It is an important stage, where one is first free from the confines of the mind - not that one can’t fall out of it, but it has at least been seen. Yet at this stage one is not yet purified of his negative ego, nor has he established a fully expansive ego, far from it. A long development usually lays ahead, depending on ones background and destiny - which, once again, is an unknown and unpredictable quantity. But, when fully established, this stage does signal the end of the dualistic search, or at least, the beginning of the end, or the end of the beginning. From here on the search takes place more and more from the place of surrender, although attention may also be needed to refresh the state of presence-awareness from time to time when it is seen weakening or not so ‘present’!
The limit of conventional mysticism is that it may propel one into inner but essentially still ‘objective’ states, while the limit of the ‘sudden’ school lies in the assumption that one unprepared and identified with objectivized phenomenality can all at once permanently awaken to the subjectivity itself, and, also, that even this is the final and only goal. If one meditates, which is, in most cases, necessary - in its time and place - for becoming absorbed into the depths of being [in order, as PB said, to leave one with the kernel and not only the husk], the now or timeless dimension, a deep state of rest in 'the womb of the Mother,' one can, however, without the first awakening to consciousness, essentially go on forever without realizing the subjective element that makes meditation or contemplation a goal-less activity, one of true non-doing. True meditation, thus, generally needs accompanying inquiry or vichara or some other method or means aimed at finding the subject, the meditator, the one ‘behind the mind,’ even amidst enduring a 'long' traditional route of cultivation of virtue, patience, will, concentration, tranquility, discrimination, and balance - as opposed to singularly isolating some of the newer 'technologies of awakening', such as the ‘awareness watching awareness’ method, or trying to find the observer (which may be difficult), or consciously thinking intensely and trying to recognize the thinker behind the thought. Grace is also needed to awaken this perception, but it is the essential foundation of the rest of the way.
Those who argue that, “since the goal is ‘no-mind,’ or the ‘non-conceptual’ state, no amount of meditation is useful in attaining that state, and that only direct inquiry has a hope of helping one reach it, often do not realize that inquiry will generally only take one so far, namely, to the state of presence or awareness, which, while essential to free one from identification with the clutches of the collective mind, not only may leave the ego intact and un-purified, but also, without the pull of grace, still unconnected with the deeper dimensions of being. The deeper meditation or contemplation in the domain of being is, it has been said, essentially reserved for one who is already established in the non-dual realization of presence or consciousness, for one cannot truly ‘do’ non-doing until he has become more or less present and awakened to consciousness. And, further, ones ability to surrender is necessarily limited, and grace is necessary to accomplish the task. We are, of course, speaking of a relatively advanced or mature stage of practice. If all of this sounds hopeless, and heart-breaking, consider it more grist for the mill, and - what can one say - "heaven help us all!" Feel lucky to be reduced to such a state.
So both aspects, inquiry and meditation, are felt as essential, until one is established in the depths of being and the heart, beyond the need for such formal practice. Of course, we repeat ourselves, grace can considerably shorten this process, and even bypass certain elements. This is just a general framework.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
On ‘stories’ and suffering: Types of suffering; "The ego is only the story it constantly tells of itself, the experiences and difficulties it has had, the path it has followed, the wounds it carries. The invitation here is precisely to stop telling the story - Sounds pretty good, right? Except that it is wrong. The root I-thought is a contraction deep in the subconscious. It is not a “story.” It is a knot. Not telling can be a good personal discipline, but telling the story may be better than keeping it inside
The simply 'drop your stories', 'this is it', 'you are already enlightened', type of teachings will always be there, but currently more people can relate to the 'karma teachings', where essentially purification is going on, and so we try to include as many points of view and types of experience as possible, so that everyone feels spoken to and included, and no one is marginalized or directly or inadvertently feels judged. One person I knew essentially had to leave the spiritual community she had a long affiliation with because she entered a fiery dark night (though it has been rough her whole life), and no one there understood what she was going through, and often judged her for her experiences, and certainly felt she was a downer. 'Just lighten up.. Be positive... drop the stories.... just this, just that'. Not a very compassionate or understanding response. It is heartening to see many teachers softening and maturing in their delivery and recognizing this.
The concept is quite simple. Confession done rightly has a long history. While it is difficult to share such embarrassing and private things openly, that is how we get better. We have all done stupid, selfish, and utterly incomprehensible things both before and after coming to the path. This is part of the sickness or dis-ease of separation. One way to ‘recover’ is to share with one another these shameful secrets, and in this way, they lose some of their power over us. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” keeps it all inside, and is an error that keeps the feeling center closed. Integral and awakened embodiment teacher Saniel Bonder goes so far as to say that paradoxically a “self-plus-other“ realization is crucial for any true form of “Self” Realization:
“Mutuality in our work is an essential component of Self+Other-realization. Its crucial encounter of the realness of the Other completes and complements our investigation and awakened indwelling as the Self. Forms of HEART-realization that fail to incorporate the full embrace of mutuality do not see the existential equality and inherent mystery of every self, no matter how ordinary or sublime, in relation to every other. Thus, they perpetuate the Spirit/Matter split, even if only in a way that most people cannot perceive." (178)
What he is saying is subtle. It suggests that a full awakening must incorporate the other - bodies and the world - into and as oneself, and vice versa, to avoid falling into spiritual bypassing and a dissociative position. Further, that any healing must occur in relationship. Ramaji says that this is where basically the primal error began, not by some mythological fall from Sach Khand, but by being invaded by the 'other' early in life, creating a reactive ego-I that remains unconscious. This is not just a psychological phenomenon (such as in the primal therapy work of Arthur Janov), but more or less inevitable in our development as humans. Still, the way out is the way in. Norman O. Brown, in Love's Body, argues that the feeling of a soul separate from the body is intricately bound up with the feeling of having a body separate from other bodies. Thus, a dissociation strategy is definitely NOT the way to proceed.
From one point of view, then, what we are basically talking about is suffering. So in considering an idea like the "dark night," for instance, we are fundamentally saying that there is a type of suffering with special, spiritual characteristics. Because otherwise, why would it be different from simply reaping bad karma, whether set in motion in the past, or reflecting our current situation? And that is true. But we could say there are several types of suffering.
One of the most basic forms is that a given state of mind, conditioned by particular views and desires, can be said to be inherently uncomfortable or painful. Like anger, which not only can set in motion bad consequences, but also is, in itself, not the most peaceful, harmonious, or otherwise positive feeling. It is stressful, alienating, conflictual and so on. So one type of suffering is simply the suffering inherent in the current components of our state of mind. This type of suffering would include the pain or suffering within any negative state of mind - jealousy, hatred, longing, unfulfilled desires, aversions, judgments, sadness, grief and so on.
Another type of suffering is karmic in the traditional sense (the first is really a type of karma too) in that it is the effect of causes we set in motion in the past that we may not even currently identify with, but we still must experience the results of them, the working out of them. This is basically a delayed form of suffering.
Yet another type of suffering is, not entirely different from the others, is the pain of letting go of our current sentimentalities, illusions, and fantasies. It is the pain of 'growing up' spiritually, or recognizing truths such as the futility of seeking happiness through various dualistic pursuits such as wealth, security, personal love, fame, or respect. It is not as if any of these things is somehow necessarily wrong to want. That is a personal choice. It is just that they are not what they are made out to be. They lack true fulfillment or satisfaction, and are transitory. When we face these truths, there is a kind of pain in gradually becoming disillusioned with it all, and, eventually, hopefully, reorienting towards realizing there is an alternative -spiritual value such as inner peace, contentment, love, and so on - which spiritual qualities and, ultimately, transcendent realization, will bring the fulfillment we ultimately seek, but have been looking in the 'wrong' place for. It is like we have had a love affair with samsara or relativity for who knows how long, and in our spiritual awakening, we come to see the futility in it all, we fall out of love with dualism, but we are going to go through phases where we are heart-broken about it, and angry, and deeply alone, because we have lost one lover, but have not replaced it yet with the Beloved. During this we are cleansed of dualistic desires, aversions and attachments, and suffer great alienation, confusion and despair. Suffering through the first two kinds of pain and karma is basically 'ordinary suffering'. But this last type is really only something that becomes acute during the spiritual path. Many would say that it is unavoidable, though it will probably be more prevalent in some lives than others, and affect people differently to some degree according to what kind of path they are on.
A final type of suffering is even more basic. It is not necessarily unrelated, again to the others, especially this last one, but is, perhaps, looking at it from another angle. This is the pain of death and rebirth. It results from our core attachment to our sense of identity, and when we face some deeply existential/spiritual shift in our core self-concept, even at an intuitive level, we are going through a kind of change of state that brings up not only great grief and disorientation and despair at the loss of the old way, but also fear of the unknown, whether or what will emerge. And since much of all this type of stuff happens in our subconscious and even superconscious, we aren't even often sure what the suffering is all about. We just get glimpses of it in different lights. This relates more to the classic dark night experience, the fundamental purpose of which PB wrote:
"The Dark Night is not the result of any physical suffering or personal misfortune: it comes from a subtler cause. It induces a depression of enormous weight...The sombre loneliness experienced during the Dark Night of the Soul is unique. No other kind of loneliness duplicates it either in nature or acuteness... It creates the feeling of absolute rejection, of being an outcast...A terrible inner numbness, an unbearable emptiness, is a prominent feature of the spiritual dark night...The situation is really paradoxical and beyond correct appraisal by the conscious mind, certainly by the suffering ego. He is being made to learn, by the severest experience, that the divine reality must not be confused with his conscious reactions to it, nor with his mental reactions to it, nor even with his emotional reactions to it, that it belongs to an unknown and unknowable realm that transcends human faculties and defies human perceptions...It is not enough to recognize the Real in its homeland alone; he must be trained to recognize it under all conditions, even when it is hidden under thick illusion, even in the lowest ebb of the soul's dark night." (179)
This might be said, in general, to be a form of suffering brought on by grace, either from one's soul, the divine, this earth in this universe (the ‘footstool of the gods,’ or ’womb of the Buddhas') or an enlightened master.
The cases where people seem to have the worst time are when all of these are going on at the same time, and especially if the past karma aspect of their suffering is particularly difficult. The main form of all of these that we can have the most control over is the first one, where we simply try to keep affirming positive qualities as best we can. And then to try to understand and accept the other three aspects, to the extent that they may be relevant to us.
So there is a difference between these types of suffering, and some of it really is just that we have to face our stuff and suffer our stupidities and missteps. It is a very rare soul who does not have at least some of that work to do. And once the process of energizing deeper soulful realities of virtue and deep awakening have been energized, the process of cleansing, learning and letting go is accelerated, so it can just become rather messy and devastating for a while (sometimes a long while). In the life of the soul, it is not so very long. Our higher individuality is in a very deep state, but it still longs for sahaja, and has been patiently cultivating wisdom and virtue through numerous lives. When it gets to the point when it is down to a life or two more of serious transformation, a life or even more of deep suffering does not seem too high price to pay for the payoff, which has been anticipated since the moment of individualization countless eons ago [It is said can't really be spoken of in terms of time]. At that stage, for many, it is mostly an endurance test, just hanging in there, holding on, trying ones best to exercise faith.
There is another aspect of the ‘getting rid of or stop telling ones personal stories’ way of thinking that needs mentioning. One, in some cases, while generally a good practice to follow, it can prevent a deeper sharing of core issues and wounds that is counter-productive. And two, some teachers maintain that the ego is merely the stories it tells of itself. Ramaji explains why this is an error. He first quotes David Carse:
“The ego is only the story it constantly tells of itself, the experiences and difficulties it has had, the path it has followed, the wounds it carries. The invitation here is precisely to stop telling the story.” (180)
Ramaji then writes:
“Sounds pretty good, right? Except that it is wrong. Carse is confusing the story with the I-thought. an. Some meditators practice quietism. They think if they can just shut off the mind so that it stops thinking and telling stories, there will get enlightened. It doesn’t work. The I-thought knot lives at a level that is below conscious thinking. If you stop the storytelling, you will feel better, but you won’t uproot the ego.” (181)
The I-thought, which Ramana said was the root of the mind, the origin of the I-am-the-body thought, and the experience-of-the-world-as-real, is like a repression deep within the subconscious that must be dug out. But first it must be gradually isolated. To get to the point where it is exposed with no place to hide is, in short, the fruit of all the previous stages of practice. It is what the Masters are trying to do as well. The ego knows full well how to hide under a million disguises and strategies. To simply jump into self-enquiry without prior preparation - all that Kirpal Singh, for instance, implied by the term “man-making" - or Brunton by the Long Path of cultivating the virtues as well as developing and balancing the faculties of feeling, thinking, willing - as well as some degree of concentration - and becoming ripe to surrender all of that - would be extremely difficult, and is perhaps why in fact most of even Ramana’s devotees did not do it. Yet, at some point this task must be faced. The question is, where does this take place in Sant Mat? And I think the answer will vary from person to person. For some, they are confronted with this soon in their practice and relationship with their Master. Experiences become secondary to this encounter. For others, perhaps most, it is a gradual and step by step set of inner transitions, ‘deaths,’ and thinning out of the egoic-orientation in daily life, until finally the naked ego can be dealt a “knock-out blow” by Grace. But, sans that, the ego can go very far up, and facing this last step then takes place where - in Sach Khand? In Anami? Or, to be direct, at any given moment as Grace would have it?
This I cannot answer. Viewing the two paths side by side - of Sri Ramana and of Sant Mat - is difficult. The path of Ramana, technically considered, views the thousand-petalled lotus [‘one thousand’ not being literal but numerological implying ‘perfection’] in the sahasrar as having its deep “roots” in the causal Heart center (not the heart chakra), wherefrom the “I” if not ‘cauterized’ therein rapidly springs up, rises to the crown and then spreads downwards and manifests as the body and world. Upon or just before realization one may sometimes see a structure called ‘Amrita Nadi’ rising as a spire of light and sound from this Heart to the Crown, and above. [However, as mentioned in Part One this experience is not necessary and these differences will be discussed more in Part Four].
Sant Mat, in contrast, at least in the literature, sees the roots of the cosmos beginning “up there” and extending downwards to the physical plane. What could seemingly appear more different? Our difficulty is that the causal Heart is little discussed in the traditions, especially the yogic ones. It really implies the center of ones being, and is not just associated with a location in the body. And in fact it is not necessary to feel the “heart on the right” or have the Amrita Nadi experience, even according to Ramana. Sri Nisargadatta said he agreed with Ramana whole-heartedly, but didn’t know of any of that business! His own Masters spoke of “polishing” the Supracausal Body - the Pure I Am - which may have been their way of eliminating the Primal Illusion of the I-thought. They did it in a Vedantic way and not by either Ramana’s “Who Am I ?” self-enquiry or by ascended meditation like the Sants, but I think they, too, got the job done.
The Heart simply may be considered to have infinite depths. Ishwar Puri felt the so-called heart on the right was just a minor bodily center, but my feeling is that clearly he was mistaken - or perhaps misunderstood - about this. So this is an important place where it would be great to have an adept of each path sit down and find some common ground on this issue and clarify it for us.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
The “besetting sin” or “chief feature” as a potential roadblock to successful self-inquiry and a key finding in self-introspection - but don't take it too seriously
It is commonly taught by its advocates that the practice of self-inquiry is a short-cut to self-realization, focussing on cutting the tree at its roots (the “I”-thought) instead of cutting off its branches (i.e., one’s faults) one by one as in more traditional preparatory practices where while meditating one also focusses on moral improvement. However, the fact is that the energy and attention necessary for successful self-inquiry is often sapped by ones faults, which is why “who am I?” practice is difficult for most people. But is this metaphor accurate? deCaussade did write that self is a many-headed hydra which needs its heads to be cut off again and again until grace puts an end to this toil. On the other hand, Guillore wrote of the primacy of what he called “the besetting sin.” David Hawkins said that if you truly dealt with one key issue, fault or virtue, all the others would follow. This is similar to what the Gurdjieff school termed the “chief feature.” Find and deal with this and the house of cards most likely collapses. Here is what Guillore says. For the moment please bear with the old-fashioned language, i.e., that you are a "sinner", which being moderns we are not totally comfortable with - and try to grasp the key point:
“Anyone who will take the trouble to search his heart carefully, will; be sure to find some passion which preponderates over all the rest, which is stronger, more apparent, more pervading, which overrules his other faults, and leads them in its train….Now, in each one of us there is some such dominant fault, which is the root and life of all we do; which rules us with sovereign power, which is the very essence of our individuality, and which moulds us tilt becomes, as the saying is, our second nature. And this is the besetting sin on which a man’s energies must be concentrated, in order to overrule and eradicate it, if he would make any progress in holiness, for it is vain to try and conquer other faults while this is left in possession of the field. yet this is just where, when you come to deal with souls, you will find that so many fail. They blindly spare themselves in that one most essential quarter, fondly flattering themselves with the hope that all is right, because they are not altogether unwatchful over some other failings. But it must be a primary rule for all who aim at spiritual progress that there can be none really without a steadfast effort to subdue the besetting sin…Many people who on the whole seek after that which is good and practice sundry virtues, use this as a kind of cloak to conceal the real evil of their besetting sin…A mans besetting sin is at once powerful and tenacious - powerful from habit, tenacious and ready to break forth on the slightest provocation; and few souls have the courage to grapple with so troublesome a foe. They are ready to resist any other fault, if only this may be spared; but make a point of dealing with their besetting sin, whether it be anger, sensuality, ambition, indolence, want of recollection, censoriousness, or whatever it be, and you will find the the difficulty, the resistance, the shrinking, is almost overwhelming…The truth is, men love their bondage to evil, and hug their chains.”
“Then, too, of course Satan is perpetually raising difficulties in the way of what is so unwelcome to him. He uses all the means ins power to foster a ruling passion; he is like a general besieging a town, who goes round and round seeking some breach, or at least some weak point wherein to prosecute his assault. St. Peter tells us that “our enemy the devil goeth about as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.” But he who would make real progress in the spiritual life, will find that without this warfare, this victory over his besetting sin, he is but trifling with holiness; he may be self-denying, he may fast and pray, but no blessing will come upon his labors, so long as he sets up an idol in his heart, even the tyrannical idol of an unresisted besetting sin.”
Then he gets down to the main point: what is the true nature of this besetting sin?
“However many other faults and temptations may hinder you, they are less dangerous than this - the habitual, persistent, almost willful character of a besetting sin; its continual insidious ravages cause it to be a pitiless tyrant - greater peril to your salvation than all else combined…No man can die to self while his besetting sin is lively and vigorous, even though he may conquer some evil dispositions…but do cut at the root of the tree of evil, and allies branches wither. A ruling passion overcome is as a corner-stone wrenched out of the building - as the capital of a kingdom, which once taken decides the war - as a general whose death discourages his whole army - as a body from which thread is lopped. All else will be easily done when this is done. What is the good of seeking to dam up the stream, instead of cutting off the source? Learn a lesson from your enemy the devil, who is willing to let you alone in all manner of pious practices and outward good works so long as he can keep you subject to your besetting sin. He knows well enough that its leaven will leaven the whole lump; because its strength lies in the will, which it poisons, and so all good is neutralized…The besetting sin leaves nothing save what is lame and spotted for His service. Do not keep back your cherished ewe lamb. He knows what you prize most; He knows all that it costs you to tear out that ruling passion from your heart; and it is precisely this which He requires pf you, rather than all the other offerings you are so much more willing to bring.” (182)
“What made the Soul leave the Nous?” asked Plotinus; “Audacious self-will.” While this provocative quote may not fully explain a supposed original “fall” of the soul [to be discussed in Part Four] - for what could a virgin soul that had never separated from the Nous or Sat Lok know about self-will? - it may well characterize the soul's inability to return to or recognize its Native State. It might be considered that “self-will” is the primary attribute of the “I”-thought, and it is there the culprit lies. Guillore says that the besetting sin - our most habitual, fixed ego tendencies - have their roots in the will. And there lies the maturing of self-introspection and our moral efforts: to isolate this root and, so to speak, slay it, or so that it may be slayed, by grace. Many who try self-inquiry without such moral effort have found they still were in pain, or unhappy, or not complete, and wonder why. And unfortunately they may then be told they were wrong, or not doing it right, or just not ‘getting it’! Man is in the make, and one is only learning. As long as one's compass is pointed in the right direction, he cannot be lost. Honesty and earnestness are the key factors, said Sri Nisargadatta, the means are much less important. There is also no sense in bemoaning the past, if one was a different person he would have done things differently. But he wasn't, and so he didn't. It is appropriate at times to have repentance and metanoia, but to continue to call oneself a sinner is to hamstring one's realization, said Ramana.
One way of highlighting chief feature or “besetting sin”, if only to reinforce the insight one gains by self-introspection, is through astrology. Natal squares and oppositions, particularly in fixed signs, symbolically reveal these strong, persistent, habitual and/or inherited dispositions. You will know what they are!
The gist here is that dealing with the “besetting sin” is cutting the tree at its roots. It is not just cutting any branch. The sense of self will be dealt a mortal blow, from which it will not likely recover, without a major rebellion. Either self-inquiry or meditative absorption, will become a relative breeze once this is accomplished.
Furthermore, there is no need to be overcome with guilt, as the word “sin” often implies in religious teachings. Its real meaning is “to miss the mark,” not to be hopelessly corrupted. Here one does not really need to know if the hand he has been drawn from the deck of the distant past is due to any personal wrongdoing, whether from early life experience or previous incarnations, but the karmic continuity and compulsive reactivity is his to deal with now. It may be easier to endure the purificatory process if personal pain is considered one's share of universal pain, and not just one's own. That was the view of Dutch priest Henri Nouwen.
CHAPTER SIXTEEN
Some related considerations about the 'I'-thought, the ego, advaita and the soul
Sometimes the teachings of Ramana Maharshi imply that when the “I”-thought goes back into the Heart it dies forever. This leads to confusion wherein some may wonder how a sage makes his way in the world. It seems that every sage has a sense of self: if you call him by name he will respond, etc.. The answer often given is that for the sage there is no longer a world but only the Self. However, others say the “I”-thought continues to arise, but is no longer seen as other than or apart from the Self. Like the body and the world, the “I”-thought is now okay. it is no longer a knot or deep unconscious repression.
The mystics, however, appear to speak differently about the “I.” Sri Ramakrishna said:
“The 'I' cannot be effaced altogether. You may explain it away through reasoning, but the next moment it reappears, nobody knows from where. It is like a goat that bleats faintly and jerks its legs even after its head has been cut off. But the ‘I’ that God retains in His devotee after he has seen Him is called the ‘ripe I’. It is like a sword turned into gold touching the philosopher’s stone; you cannot hurt anybody with it.” (183)
Whether there is an ultimate difference may be a matter of viewpoint. And perhaps it has reverberations with the millennia-old debate over jivan-mukti versus videha-mukti (complete liberation before or after death) of which there are said to be pros and cons on each side.
The Heart that Ramana spoke of is realized in its essence as all-pervading, without dimensions of time and space, and not confined to any bodily locus. The ultimate Reality professed by sages like Ramakrishna and the Sants, entered initially through a different doorway, as it were, is also of that nature. Remember that Ramana took Jung to task on this very point for implying that there was anything that Ramakrishna did not know! So who are we to say otherwise?
The ordeal getting there, however, seems likely to be more or less the same, given human nature as it is.
It is interesting, and encouraging, however, to see that many formerly more radical non-dual teachers, such as Jeff Foster, Adyashanti, and others, are coming around to a change of heart, or frame of reference, in which they are essentially acknowledging the need for the cultivation of what are basic soul qualities, such as persistence, sincerity, courage, endurance, and so on. Adyashanti said, "sincerity, one-pointedness [one-pointedness? Most non-dualists don't like this word, preferring to jump directly to 'no-pointedness', or 'life without a center'], and courage are essential for awakening." One asks, 'Who' is sincere and courageous? - Impersonal consciousness? No, We are. Adyashanti in fact writes, in The Way of Liberation - a book for which he has taken a little criticism as being too 'dualistic' - that:
"In a manner of speaking we have lost (or at the very least forgotten) our souls...We remain lost to ourselves, so cut off from what nourishes the soul...The underlying drives of the ego are to feel better and to survive. But inquiry belongs entirely to the realm of the soul, that dimension of being born of stillness and light that seeks Truth for its own sake." (184)
Aadi affirms this when he argues that traditional inquiry indeed takes us beyond ego, but not beyond the soul, and that the real answer to "Who am I?" is not 'no one' - although that is sometimes the expected answer - but the soul.
The emphasis above of Adyashanti reflects, in our opinion, a maturing of understanding of the non-dual approach. Similarly, Sri Nisargadatta often said, "endurance and the willingness to try are most needed," and that “sadhana is most essential for one’s survival as a spiritual entity.” What survival?! What entity? - there is supposed to be nothing! Further, ‘who’ endures, and ‘who' tries? Not something impersonal. That would be meaningless, it seems. Even Fred Davis admits in his book, Beyond Recovery, that he had already done "all of the necessary (personal, practical) work before coming to non-duality", and that "he is actually in favor of practices, as, after all, sages have been doing them for thousands of years, and they were no fools." But he issues what has become a necessary disclaimer among non-dual circles that such practices are only if you want them, or are already doing them (since that is part of 'what is'), but that they do not directly lead to awakening, and they better serve the stabilizing and clearing process after awakening and not before. All right, the various practices are supportive, they indirectly lead to awakening, and guide one afterwards. But we feel it is all not so cut and dried. There are may vicissitudes and oscillations in life, and from life to life. One of the main differences we have with such teachers and teachings is where they appear to distinguish the 'preparation' from the 'real, direct path'. From our perspective, this is an artificial distinction: life is the path, all is the path, and everything is important. PB for instance wrote of a period of time for the 'Long Path', a time of the 'Long and Short Paths' practiced concurrently and/or alternatively as needed, then a graduation to a 'Short Path', and then a 'real Short Path' of surrender to grace. He was offering suggestions, but some like to say only the 'Short Path' is real, and all the rest just a bunch of business. We do not see it so. There is a progressive and also non-linear process of life completing itself. It asks for completion in the inner and outer realms. And it is essentially the soul which is doing so. Aadi writes:
"The foundation of the spiritual seeker is sincerity. The lack of capacity can be understood and it is nobody's fault, but the lack of pure and sincere intention in the Heart is a law characteristic of the Soul. [Sri Nisargadatta called it “earnestness,” or the “homing instinct” of the soul] If the Heart is sincere the spiritual Light reaches the Soul in this way or another. If one is not able to succeed using one's own effort, Grace brings Transformation. In this case, the Divine does all the work and the Soul is pulled into the Light." [note: by 'spiritual Light' Aadi does not mean the visionary light of mystic experience per se but the true subjective Light of divine reality and mystery].
Further, on the notion of the Soul reaching a 'relative' completion he says:
"The Soul which dwells in the Heart has to be fulfilled [this is contrary to popular spiritual theory, which only envisions the process as a negative one of denying any desire for fulfillment of the ego - the Me]. That is her blueprint, the goal of evolution. She must reach her fulfillment. When the Soul is fulfilled, she simply transcends this particular dimension evolving further, no longer in the human dimension. The Soul, in order to be fulfilled, has to reach completion inside and completion outside. The Soul reaches completion inside by expanding into the I Am and by growing roots in the inner dimension. The Soul becomes fulfilled outside by realizing herself in her emotional body and by having some important experiences in life [another more positive vision than traditional advaita or Buddhism]. She needs to express her creativity and complete all latent karmic desires [a very wholistic vision]." (185)
Brunton expresses a similar point:
“If the human entity has no other purpose to fulfill on this earth than to return to the place of its origin, then it has no business to leave that sphere. There must be something to be gained by its earthly journey, if the universe has any sense at all.” (186)
“It is a paradox of the strangest irony that the place where we can find the Overself is not in another world but in this one, that the chance to grow enduringly out of darkness into light is better here. This is the extraordinary paradox of the Quest, that it is a road leading out of bodily life and yet inseparable from daily living itself. This earthly life is the “narrow gate” which opens into the Kingdom…For sincere questers, there is, or should be, an interest in life which grows with time.” (187)
Two points are brought out here. The first deals with the tendency in advaita to posit either the egoic consciousness or the Absolute, and nothing in between. PB felt there was a need for a mediating principle which he called the Overself; anadi seems to agree. And the second relates to the placing of only a negative spin on the ego. An example might be seen in a quotation from one teacher in which he says, paraphrased from memory, "the ego can't be seen but it has a smell; only he who is free of egoic concern can tell what is useful for spiritual awakening and what is not." Now, there is nothing wrong with the statement, but we feel it is somewhat incomplete. First, one needn't be 'free of egoic concern to be able to 'smell the ego' - one only needs to be reasonably sick and tired of one's game in order to recognize it when it arises. For if one is really 'free of egoic concern' then one must already be enlightened! Second, and more importantly, this reflects a common advaitic tendency to, perhaps unknowingly, negate manifestation, or all that is not seen or felt as the state of presence. It paints a picture of ego that does not recognize it as a tool of the Soul, which in fact is a dynamic center of intelligence that with reason and sensitivity [Yes, the maturing ego can have good qualities] guides our path to enlightenment, and helps us check on our state before and after enlightenment as well. Advaita would have the State of Presence, or attention aware of attention, consciousness, as the only thing of worth. This is understandable as this view sees this as the only thing that exists. Subsequently, however, the active persona, the intelligence that can think consciously and intently, as contrasted with only being a passive witness to thoughts coming in from the subconscious, is essentially dismissed as either unimportant, unreal, or nonexistent ("the ego is a myth" - Colin Drake). But this is not a wholistic position. The self-reflexive movement of consciousness that is ego is an evolutionary advance, says Aadi, and while we can certainly get stuck in it, it is necessary for our growth. Let him explain:
"Who we are, in the mind, is composed of two centers. One, is the static centre of the State of Presence which does not change. Second, is the dynamic centre of our intelligence. This dynamic centre is always in movement, and it relates to both: to the State of Presence and to the gross level of spontaneous thinking coming from the subconscious mind. This intuitive intelligence is very important for it allows us to grow and to understand the process of awakening...A longtime ago, in India, a concept was created that one is not a doer, that one is purely a Witness. This concept is coming from the awakening to the centre of Consciousness. When the State of Presence is awakened, the mind becomes witnessed from behind and moves to the periphery. The movement of thoughts is no longer in the centre. In the centre is this non-dual Awareness which is, so to speak, witnessing the mind. This concept, however, is not completely correct. This concept implies that one identifies oneself fully with the State of Presence and refuses to see the self-conscious movement of intelligence as being an integral part of Me. In this what we perceive the mind and its intelligence a something just happening on the screen of Consciousness, and not being Me. However, much more accurate is to say that they both constitute the reality of Me. You are the witness and you are the intuitive intelligence as well...and, in truth, it is only because you are this intelligence that you can discover the State of Presence and are able to relate to it. You, as the intelligence, relate to the State of Presence...The traditional teachings, which have been created a few thousand years ago, did not discover how the Inner State and the movement of intelligence relate to each other." (188)
So what he is saying is that the State of Presence and the active intelligence are both parts of the I Am, the whole Me, or Soul. This seems to relate to what PB wrote above that "the spiritual evolution which requires him to abandon his ego runs parallel to the mental evolution that requires him to perfect it." This allows a realistic, dynamic non-duality to unfold.
The advaita tendency for reduction, in our view, is also quite subtly illustrated in the following excerpt from an article by Francis Lucille:
“Simply put, non-dualism is the hypothesis that reality is non-dual, that there is only one single reality which is the substance of all things, of all phenomena, of both mind and matter. If that is true, it follows that the reality of our ordinary consciousness, meaning whatever it is that is really perceiving these words in this moment, must be this non-dual, single, and universal reality. Therefore non-duality implies the universality of consciousness. Concomitantly, it implies that consciousness is the "stuff" everything is made of. This is the fundamental equation of Eastern philosophy: Atman=Brahman, Consciousness=Reality." (189)
This is true enough, but might it be articulated more precisely? It is a truism and accepted definition of non-duality that reality is ‘not-two’ . Yet teachers still proceed to reduce this ‘not-two’ to ‘one’! Rather than stay in the mystery of a non-conceptual ‘not-two’, it is maintained that reality is ‘one’ thing, be it one ‘stuff’, one ‘space’, or one ‘consciousness’ - but, as Kabir said, one already within it implies ‘two’! So non-duality does not mean one. Can we say reality is ‘one’ [or even a ‘naught’] ? Our finite logical minds may say we can, but maybe we need a more sophisticated teaching to better articulate truth. Of course we will most likely not succeed in reaching it - this has been said thousands of times in the history of spirituality - but we might be better served in the attempt than by making simple assumptions of what it is, endlessly repeated as fixed and proven truth. Some teachers, faced with this conundrum, speak of reality as being 'beyond duality and non-duality'. But this only leads us farther afield. 'Non-duality' is good enough as it is, when it is not made synonymous with one, or oneness. Non-separation is fine. It is 'beyond' one or many, sameness or difference. In fact, it has been said that here sameness or 'suchness' IS difference or distinction, and vice versa. We must remember that, as it is depicted in Zen, form first becomes no-form, or sameness, but then one is reborn in true satori 'taking the form which is no-form as form' - this is said to be the Real Person. It is a positive and inconceivable reality; therefore, why call it 'one'? [Here, moreover, we can barely speak of a relationship between individual and universal as being identity, difference - or even relatedness! Such words no longer apply]. This is not only theory, but has potential practical consequences. At best saying the non-dual is all one stuff works well for a ripe few; at second-best it can lead to a half-way attainment, again as mentioned in Zen, as a 'One-Eyed Monster' stuck in a hard-to-escape-from sameness; and at worst it may lead to a bypass of nearly the entire path, due to a disregard for the laws of relativity, as well as philosophical preconceptions that prevent the heart being open to various sources of grace.
Very well, this is one depiction of the path, from our perspective. Obviously, there are infinite perspectives because the I AM is infinite with infinite angles of perspective and no one being can lay claim to them all, nor should he. When followed to completion, however, one achieves non-dual realization and the state of presence and the environment collapse into a state of radical non-dual transcendence, in which we are reborn into a new octave of spiritual development in which we re-emerge in a state of permanent sahaja, but with a new pattern of phenomena arising which reflects not a story of coming to our own liberation or non-dual realization, but our integration of that state of non-dual presence with planetary karma/story/evolution. The realization in our state of presence continues to grow in richness, never to lose again the perfect balance in sahaja of seeing it all arising in the state of non-dual presence. Are we then Soul, Oversoul, the One, Consciousness only? It is a mystery. Even the Sants express as much. Kirpal Singh said:
"The difference between knowledge and love is that knowledge always tries to banish duality but love retains it as a precious treasure and itself remains without duality...The heart is given away and it makes its center in the Beloved and remains fixed there. This is true knowledge. Knowledge does not mean merely to understand or to know. It actually means to become that which we really are, i.e., to know ourselves." (190)
PB affirms the limitation for calling for a final realization or attainment:
"It is the shortest step in humility that we can take to admit that we are all en route, and leave it to others to talk of final attainments. In an infinite realm of nature, the possibilities are also infinite." (191)
One is reminded of Sri Nisargadatta's remark to the effect, "the final understanding is that there is no final understanding].
Moreover, PB also is in alignment with Aadi's depiction of the soul when he writes:
"Spiritual growth entails meditation practices kept up as regularly as possible, metaphysical study, cultivation of intuition, and a kindling of an ever increasing love for the divine soul, the true "I." It is this soul which is the ray of God reflected in him and it is as near to God as anyone can ever get. God is too great, too infinite, ever to be comprehended; but the Overself, which is God's representative here, can be comprehended...So he must cultivate this heartfelt love towards what is his innermost "me" and must not hesitate to pray for its Grace or even to weep for it. He must surrender inwardly and secretly all the ego's desires to it." (192)
We hope this rambling section clarifies at least some of the issues surrounding non-duality relevant to seekers on this and other paths.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
Self-introspection 2.0+; Watching thoughts or forgetting thoughts; Self-concern or un-self-concern; Practicing self-acceptance, self-forgetting and being in the Now while striving towards the ideal, both for ourselves and the capacity to serve others; Bleaching the coffee with cream instead of just analyzing the grounds; What diary?; Cutting the branches versus cutting the trunk; Why a balanced path is recommended: the three baskets and five-pointed star; Summary of self-introspection
Kirpal’s "don't spare yourself" regarding self-introspection is true for a very strong and mature person; it is in fact a recommendation by many wise teachers in diverse traditions. deCaussade wrote, "With certain souls He allows nothing to escape notice, and about them He has a most fastidious jealousy; and it is a sure truth that souls which are objects of this jealousy, cannot, without infidelity, allow themselves to do what other persons can do without imperfection." But there is a delicate balance act on the path between the foundational disciplines and implicit obedience (without which surrender is said to be impossible), and at a later time, as the author of The Cloud of Unknowing expressed, the need for "a generosity of response and holy indifference to rules and regulations, a call for complete self-forgetting, even to the extent of awareness of self." PB said in the beginning we generally are taught to become aware of all of our thoughts, but at a later stage that changes to a complete indifference to the thoughts. Nisargadatta similarly said, "Either you become totally self-concerned, or totally un-self-concerned. It is the word 'totally' that is important. You must be extreme to reach the Supreme." (193)
We mentioned Gurdjieff. Sant Mat of course is not the Fourth Way. It is a bhakti path with a strong component of grace as a potent factor. One can not forever avoid real self-knowledge, however, which requires freedom for experimentation, and allowances for differences. The path is not superimposed from without, in a real sense you are the path. There are truths that each person must find out for himself. It is not a cookie-cutter process whereby one merely copies the image of his Ideal. Everyone is unique, and their process is unique, even if they have the Word as a divine intermediary or inner guide. The 'integral' part of this yoga is not so much as 'cleaning up' what is here below, but the 'low' ceasing to be the low. The old-school method of anxiously searching out ones faults must be superseded, or at least balanced, with a hefty dose of self-acceptance, gentle observation, and peaceful abidance in being. For as C.G. Jung wrote:
"That I feed the beggar, that I forgive an insult, that I love an enemy in the name of Christ - all these are undoubtedly great virtues. But what if I should discover that the least amongst them all, the poorest of beggars, the most impudent of all offenders, yes the very fiend himself - that these are within me, and that I myself am the enemy who must be loved - what then?...Had it been God himself who drew near to us in this most despicable form, we should have denied him a thousand times before a single cock had crowed." (194)
Part of the problem that must be faced is that the 'modern dispensation' in Sant Mat is to give an experience, and foster inner meditation, prior to the adaptation to the traditional qualifications of character. This is not wrong, but has inherent limitations, such as we have been outlining. In addition, traditional qualifications tended towards favoring those inclined towards the monastic vocation, whereas we all live fairly active lives. But still, one must penetrate the surface layer of mind and reactive emotion, which means a journey into core wounds and layers of mental preconceptions.
The point being suggested is that the essence of any self-introspection or diary exercise must be made relevant to our times, and to the heart of the devotee. There must be a felt connection. A certain nightly remembrance and self-introspection is only appropriate, but might one not create his own means, something that personally means something to you, that speaks to your heart and and feels useful? "But then you are only relying on the wiles of your own mind and ego and one will not be an obedient devotee," some will say. This can be as true today as it has been for thousands of years. On the other hand, much is changing. And some might say that such timid fear has no place in real devotion. And that of course is a two-edged sword, for it has been written, "Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." Especially when one begins to see that Higher Power working, it is said that one necessarily develops simultaneously a great love and holy fear, or reverential awe of the higher values and greatness. The sage Plotinus wrote:
"Such vision is for those only who see with the Soul's sight - and at the vision, they will rejoice, and awe will fall upon them and a trouble deeper than all the rest could ever stir, for now they re moving in the realm of Truth. This is the spirit that beauty must ever induce, wonderment and a delicious trouble, longing and love and a trembling that is all delight. For the unseen all this may be felt as for the seen; and this the Souls feel for it, every Soul in some degree; but those the more deeply that are more truly apt to this higher love - just as all take delight in the beauty of the body but all are not stung as sharply, and those only that feel the keener wound are known as Lovers." (195)
Yet we are not directly speaking of the revelation of this awe, which comes to all who have a glimpse of divine power, but rather, how many years will one nurse a subordinate human fear before he comes into some spiritual independence and trust in himself, in his own Being? A point may come when he will face his inadequate attempts to 'empty the ocean with a teaspoon', and surrenders in despair of himself. That point remains to be seen in each case, but it is a great moment. One cannot surrender before trying - that would be phony - because you can't kid the soul. But this stage will be reached in due course. The diary as such, in my opinion, was mean to be a tool essentially for beginners to use for a few years, until some insight, repentance, and self-understanding was gained. The heart weeps for older initiates still struggling to fill it out after twenty or thirty or forty years, without a true heartfelt connection to the process. But the grace of the Master is great enough to overcome all of these obstructions and problems.
Certainly, the manner in which one relates to it is most important. If one truly has an experimental, objective, neutral attitude of simple observation, without guilt or discouragement - or pride in seeing few failures - recognizing that the Master is here and now and not far away, followed by honest prayer and affirmation, then one may derive benefit. It is suggested, however, that if one finds it all too mechanical, which apparently many do, then he find another way for this daily time for remembrance and cultivation of virtue so important for his eventual full surrender. The word virtue comes from the Latin root 'vir' meaning man. So this is one part of a process of man-making, as our Master used to say. And, as one ancient Chinese sage once expressed, "if we do not cultivate virtue, how then are we different from ordinary men?" We are not at all saying, as some neo-advaitins do, that this is not important. Only that it must also be balanced with the wisdom of St. Augustine, who said, "Brethren, if you should think yourselves to be better or even different than other men, I would that you should return to the world."
We mentioned 'holy fear'. This has been spoken of by Masters, saints, and Church Fathers for ages. It is an accompaniment of the experience of bliss and inner joy. This is far beyond the state of fearing a despotic or punishing God. Paradoxically, when one, after metanoia and purification, has an inner awakening, he is overwhelmed by the extent of the divine majesty. Kirpal states:
"When one experiences the inner Nectar, one feels enwrapped or adorned with Truth itself. In this blissful condition, fear enters the heart along with the love - for one becomes fully aware that all one's thoughts and actions are known. These two things both come with adornment of Truth: love and fear...If a person really knows something of that Power, he has an awe-filled awareness. The more he sees, the more awe enters his heart...'When the mouth is read from the pan (betal-leaf)', i.e., Naam, and the heart-strings are pulled, he is filled with a deep fear. He is then neither alive nor dead. He cannot live in such agony, but he cannot die because of the joy. Do you understand a little? This is the disciple's condition." (196))
This is a delicate point but one we felt necessary to mention for the completeness of this discussion. Seems hard to call it fear, but, that's what they call it. Perhaps one day it will reveal itself to everyone.
For now, one course of action to take in regards to the diary exercise is, like Benjamin Franklin and recommended by Kirpal, to choose to 'work' on one virtue at a time, and that has in fact sometimes been recommended, and in fact is good advice - recognizing that 'working' on faults has different connotations in varying traditions. From another perspective, however, 'virtue' as a whole isn't really about just following the rules so we won't go to hell. It is about learning what is of value for our growth on the path, what helps lead us out of samsara or illusion, and living up to an ideal. That is one aspect of virtue, or 'accumulating 'merit and wisdom' as the Buddhists say. But the other half is about self-acceptance, self-honesty, self-love, and being willing not< to be perfect. And that half is often harder than the first. Yet without our imperfections there would be no growth, no evolution possible. So remorse over a particular action to some extent is natural and good, but guilt over own entire evolutionary situation is a negative judgement.
Plato's precepts to Aristotle may be useful; 'Do not sleep until you have put three questions to yourself: (1) Have I committed any sin? (2) Have I omitted any duty by accident? (3) Have I left anything undone intentionally?' These lead to further inquiry: 'Why?' - the purpose being to get at ones unconscious tendencies and motivations, rather than just to keep score of faults. This is concise and to the point.
Crying out to God, confession, heart-felt, even wrenching, regret over past actions, and resolving to do better, for the sake of the enlightenment of all beings, is also part of 'arousing bodhicitta' or compassion. So it has its rightful place. Such confession is best followed by consent to the divine Will, and acceptance of the always present forgiveness. The latter especially keeps us out of the 'pit'. Eventually, or even now - for it is not required that one wait - one will be, in old-fashioned religious language, delivered from his wretchedness, and a spirit of joy will arise in one's heart. A new day will dawn, and one will then proclaim:
"He put a new song in my heart, a hymn of praise to our God." (Psalm 40:3)
Or,
"Little darlin', the smiles returning to their faces...Here comes the sun..."
Kirpal himself from time to time would make plain that the 'diary' was largely a means to remember the Master at the end of the day:
"God is within you..The more you come into contact with Him, love will overflow...Outwardly have sweet remembrance. The diary is for that purpose. Every time confession is there: every time you do - "Oh," - you remember. So He is there, your true friend who will never leave you until the end of the world. There should be some excuse to remember, that's all: may be in any way. Perhaps I told you the other day that an old lady at the Ashram, who was unlearned, was also asked to maintain the diary forms, and, every morning, bowed down. She simply offered flowers to the diary form and bowed down [note: more or less a form of puja]. After seven or eight days, I asked, "How do you find?" She replied, "Master is within me, walking with me." So it [the diary] is some excuse for sweet remembrance. May be anything." (197)
And:
"The diary form is overhead. The diary form is the master watching you, don't deceive him."
Yes, but don't deceive your Self, is the important point. And in a conversation Kirpal let this slip out, too:
"A diary means that once in a while when you do something important you put it down, that's all...If you are watching yourself fully each moment, then where will your mind go? The mind won't affect you." (198)
"I would say that's good if you've got nothing. What more do you want? When there is nothing to put down, then it's all right. But still have self-introspection. Later you won't need it. On the way we still need it, now and then something creeps up." (199)
“If you really keep the diary, every moment you are confessing, you are remembering your Master. If you have constant remembrance then there is no difference between the Master and yourself. In that case it’s different. Otherwise the diary is a blessing.” (200)
If these are not open loving invitations to not be restricted to a set form of self-introspection, what would be?
Here the reader may note how Kirpal switches the emphasis to essentially that which the student quoted at the beginning of this discussion said about preferring a vipassana approach to a ‘Simran diary’ one. The essential gist could be summarized as to become aware not merely of ethical failures, which, as one initiate said is a rather 'archaic' approach, but of one’s repetitive activity of self-justification, rationalization, and projection. It is also a tool to isolate the “I”, to objectify the psyche, so it can be seen through. This is self-knowledge, and is the fruit of a lifelong endeavor for most. Nor are the virtues separable. For instance, Brunton writes this about truthfulness (sacca):
“Truthful thinking is only possible when every egoistic motive, every emotional weighting, and every personal wish and fear is removed from the thought process.” (201)
A person desiring truth must be truthful in every aspect of their life. Obviously, this is a mature stage. So don’t be disappointed if it takes a long time to come to fruition. One must start somewhere. And further, the path is not linear. This has been repeated many times. In the beginning one may notice little, and as time progresses notice much more. Or one may notice a lot in the beginning, and later notice less. Things may come up unexpectedly after years of progress, or apparent non-progress. The gunas are always in motion. In such a case Ramana would advise “make the most use of the periods of sattva, but don’t hate the tamas.”
Ultimately a desired result from the exercise is the following:
"So love is the one thing through which you can have the sweet remembrance and the constant remembrance. You'll dream of Him. And when you go into a fast sleep, you will reverberate: without knowing it, the same things will be coming out of your mouth. Christ says, "If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love"...To follow him means to surrender your will to his wishes; not as a slave, mind that, but as a friend....So whenever Masters come, they do not want to make slaves of you; they address you as friends, so that you may know what they are saying. A slave cannot know a friend; a friend can know a friend better. So Masters do not make slaves of you...They say, "I am a man like you. Here are my words; abide in them, and you abide in me." (203)
A complement to the diary is the 'aspiring to the higher' part of our practice, the filling oneself with thoughts of purity and of one's ideal, of whom the true Master is hopefully a living embodiment. This way, it is like continuing to pour cream into a coffee cup until the coffee is 'bleached out', instead of just analyzing the coffee grounds, which is rather a much harder method. However, to some extent this is still an 'outside-in' approach. Which is why that, along with this guru-contemplation, attentive awareness itself, to itself and including to all thoughts, words, and actions, is at the heart of many major traditions. Trying to hold only one thought in one's mind, in meditation and at other times, is but one way, and generally a temporary stage at that. More on this later.
One must simply feel and discern what is right in his own particular case. And that may change through the years as he goes along on the path. Certainly, to repeat, there is a liability in just assuming, as is common today, that since the teaching says that soul and God are ultimately One, that there is actually now no doer, and self-introspection in his or her case is therefore not necessary. That would quite likely be self-deception. Living the life and self-understanding go hand in hand. 'Pruning the branches of the tree', so to speak, may not be as fundamental as 'cutting the roots of the ego', as Ramana Maharshi often remarked, but in deference to Ramana, the energy needed for the latter may be sapped by one's uninspected and purified faults. Therefore, at some stage self-improvement is one of the most important things for one to pay attention to. Kirpal definitely was in the 'cutting-the-branches-as-preparation-for-cutting-the-trunk-school'. And actually, contrary to popular opinion, Ramana also stood for that approach at times also. Someone once asked him to be given nirvikalpa samadhi by touch just like Sri Ramakrishna had done to Swami Vivekananda. Ramana asked him, "You are another Vivekananda, I assume?" He added,"It is difficult to appreciate the need for self-analysis and self-criticism. The tendency is to think of oneself as perfect. Though this person was eager to see whether I had the power of Sri Ramakrishna, he was not bothered whether he himself merited comparison with Vivekananda. That is because he assumed that he was perfect. Sri Ramakrishna bestowed that rare state upon Vivekananda alone because he was a person of rare spiritual merit." (204) U.G. Krishnamurti had boldly asked Ramana to 'give him what he had,' to which Ramana answered, "I can give, but can you take it?" Kirpal also said to people who asked for such grace, "But are you ready to receive?" Most people back down out of justified fear, recognizing under the power of the sage's gaze their lack of preparation for what in fact is 'death'. Hopefully this doesn't happen too often. So to set the matter straight, Ramana did criticize people for their 'wandering and perverted ways', and stressed the need for repentance, prayer, and self-introspection, but not in an excessive degree in place of a primary emphasis on self-inquiry or surrender to God.
But, anyway, at some point, and hopefully before too many precious years go by, through grace the basic impossibility of the task of egoic self-perfection looms larger in one's consciousness and he finds a simple noticing of inner humiliation is all that is required, and one will drop the lower attitude for a higher. Which doesn't mean one will drop morality, only that it, or the self-introspective attitude or discipline, will have become internalized and second nature to a large extent, and noticing identification with the egoic-self, and then dropping it, becomes more primary. In the beginning one tries to become more and more aware of all the unwanted and unnecessary thoughts that run through the mind, but at another stage one pays less and less attention to all of that and more to the ever-present background of all the thoughts, by whatever name one wishes to call it. In other words, one cares less and less about the thoughts, the faults, the discipline. The simple path of surrender or direct self-enquiry becomes a reality.
A note on doership. It might be true as it is taught on this path that one will not cease to be the 'doer' until one goes beyond the causal plane - yet perhaps there are 'non-inversion' equivalents on other paths. This is, of course, debatable , but in advaita, for instance, it is claimed that once the I-thought is traced to the heart and “dies” there, one realizes no-self and non-doership. This could be such a profound transition, depending on prior preparation, or, according to Ramaji, the first of several stages of non-duality. The true nature of the Soul, when realized, is so great, cosmic and infinite, that it is easily mistaken for the Oversoul, in what Brunton called "the fallacy of divine identity." So humility in these matters is always appropriate.
There is also truth in the statement that the more you think you are the doer, you are the doer. That was Swami Sivananda's view, a Yogi highly respected by Kirpal Singh. Of course, there is a difference between thinking that one is not a doer, and actually not thinking one is a doer! But something to ponder nevertheless.
But the bottom line is that relative wisdom will continue to be accumulated for quite a while, along with developing insight, and therefore, as Kabir says, one needs always have a healthy fear of pride, "for pride has fooled many sages". Humility first and last is the adornment of saints.
Perhaps a general rule may be stated as the Prophet Muhammed once did:
"That which is lawful is clear, and that which is unlawful likewise, but there are certain doubtful things between the two from which it is well to abstain."
Or as William Law wrote:
"He [the aspirant with right intention] does not ask what is allowable and pardonable, but what is commendable and praiseworthy."
And finally, as renown Buddhist master Honen said:
"While believing that even the man who is so sinful that he has committed the ten evil deeds and the five deadly sins may be born into the Pure Land, as far as you are concerned, be not guilty even of the smallest sins."
In sum, while we learn and practice self-acceptance, self-forgetting and being in the Now, we still strive towards the ideal, our soul's image, if not for ourselves then for our useful future capacity for service to others. It might be mentioned that a stage or a time may be reached when the following may also be true:
"Disobedience which engenders humility and a sense of poverty is better than obedience which engenders hauteur and a sense of pride." - Ibn 'Ata'illah
Isn't he saying in a polite way that on the path to self-knowledge some people have to get better, and some people, in a sense, have to get worse?
"With some people God will transform their disobedience into obedience, so that their actions will not be counted as transgressions before God. With others, their apparent disobedience is in itself obedience, since it is in conformity with the Divine Will, although the Divine Commandment contradicts what the Divine Will demands of them." - Jili
Oh, this life is not always what it seems! And how well we might profit by the words of Suzuki Roshi:
"What we're doing is so important we had better not take it too seriously!"
And similarly:
"The angels can fly," said C.K. Chesterton, "because they take themselves lightly."
Why a balanced path Is recommended
One more very important point, and for this I like the Buddhist Tripitaka or "Three Baskets" as a model: in essence, moral development (originally the vinaya or "rules for the monks"), meditation, and metaphysical/philosophical study as three necessary components of a balanced path. Or one could see this in more contemporary terms as psychophysical purification, concentration/mindfulness, and contemplation/enquiry. Brunton expands this into a five-fold quest, adding altruistic activity with constant remembrance, and religious veneration. Not necessarily to be emphasized in equal portions at any given time or even any one life, but in general as encompassing the total human being. He visualizes this as a five-pointed star with the Overself atom (transcendental insight), in the center. The path of the Sants can be seen to have all these components as well, with the exception of study and enquiry which have been generally de-emphasized, where not stigmatized. This book is a small attempt to add to that component for those who feel the need in their current incarnation.
The first of these, moral-ethical-emotional purification, has been discussed at length. The reason why the third, philosophical study, is important is because having an experience and understanding it are two separate things. Obviously, having both is superior. Why? Understanding is not nothing. Many mystics have experiences and do not know what they really are or what is actually happening. This is something that occurs all the time, and it can go all the way up. The superlative effulgence of the mystic states can overwhelm the clarity of all but those with a supreme rational consciousness and/or prior deep purification. Furthermore, an experience, such as a vision, will fade and become just a memory after a while, if it does not occur repeatedly, while something really understood, or insight gained, is usually permanent. Philosophical study fosters intuition and also has a balancing effect on some of the exuberances of the meditative states.
There are two major problems with the ego. Kirpal Singh once said that "the ego goes all the way up" in reference to a man who did not show due humility but had lots of inner experiences. Mystical experiences often so inflate the ego that it becomes very difficult to deal with such a person. One is convinced he is experiencing Reality, God, Enlightenment, or, at the very least, has attained a superiority to the ordinary man. Perhaps it shouldn't be allowed to happen that way, but it does. Another problem is that as the "I" is traced back into more and more ethereal dimensions, it becomes less of a thing and more of a state, and thus, is difficult to recognize. It in effect can actually hide in the higher planes where it does not belong, even identifying with an infinite existence! And no one will ever give that up willingly, without either having developed a rationality capable of seeing beyond the ecstasy of the mystical states, or having a powerful guru who can guide one through the maze of his errors. Damiani states:
"A situation has to be brought about where you're forced to choose between identifying with that I-ness or dropping it...There is something in us which takes charge and knows and can distinguish between the profoundest subtleties of the ego and the non-ego. One has to deliver oneself completely to that guidance." (204)
In either case the moral and philosophical preparation will smooth the way through the mystical labyrinth.
Sant Mat being largely a bhakti path often lacks the latter component, often making it all about devotion to God or Master. That’s good when it works, and if one can do it. Perhaps that is why there is a high percentage of Indians in the Sangat, but perhaps also at least part of the reason for a high attrition rate among westerners. Many see this factor - a spiritual use of the mental faculties of reason and buddhi - as something that is often missing. Sooner or later won’t God want us to know Him, as well as ourselves? Yes, Sant Mat pays attention to self-introspection of habits and faults, which is needed at least in the beginning, and the discovery of the many aspects and disguises of the ego as a form of self-knowledge - in fact, the “first mansion of spirituality” according to St. Teresa of Avila - but self-enquiry, broadly considered, is much more than that. It is really spending time with oneself and getting to know this self, the ego-I at the root, and not just noting its failings. The words of certain sages, being translations out of inner experience and not just intellectual exercises, can have an effect on the student as a form of "white magic" that can trigger understanding and insight that complement the fruits of meditation in a way that can, it has been said, actually take one much deeper into the mystery, not only during the hours of daily living but also when facing the Void.
I see Kirpal as having specifically advised this in certain cases. For example, when Judith Lamb-Lion was initiated at Sawan Ashram when I was there in 1973, and confessed in Kirpal’s company and with his permission, as going to a very high plane, she was bedazzled and afterwards privately asked him, “Master, who am I?” He answered, “who is asking?”
That shows me that even advanced stages are not necessarily self-evident, and the final question (which Ramana poses from the beginning), must be faced sooner or later. It is not at all clear to me upon reading many Sant Mat teachers when this "final question" is tackled. So I ask again, is it at the super-causal plane, Sach Khand, Anami, Beyond, or later, in the midst of daily living? Or any and all of the above? Something to ponder.
Summary of self-introspection
While alluded to here and there by Kirpal Singh, the conscious process of chipping away at the foundations of our ingrained, even genetic, reactive conditioning, in order to clear a path for spirit to be stably realized and enjoyed, has not been clearly delineated into a practical methodology in most lineages of Sant Mat. Judith Lamb-Lion, as previously mentioned, has been teaching about the need for this for decades, and some of her students have worked on a self-introspection process based on heightened awareness, viveka (or discrimination), and conscious choices which can override unstable, reactive conditioning (including emotional impulsivity, false beliefs and misunderstandings), on the basis of deep relaxation of traditional striving and an attitude of light-heartedness instead of one of over-seriousness.
It is important to re-emphasize that "waking up" is not often just an immediate gift of an awakened Master. It is also the end of a long purification process which involves exposing and emptying the subconscious reservoir of ones psyche (of at least the major compulsive vasanas, sufficient for the soul's purposes) and thereby eliminating future distractions from a negative, reactive, conditioned mind which pull one into identification with a limited body-mind identity. This process in its fullest extent also can go as far as transforming the cells of the body, although, granted, that is rather rare. . This is contrary, however, to a popular concept and hope in some spiritual groups of an immediate transformation from a single or even multiple glances of grace from a PLM (Perfect Living Master)
"Q: I was lucky to have holy company all my life. Is it enough for self-realization?
M: It depends on what you make of it.
Q: I was told that the liberating action of satsang is automatic. Just like a river carries one to the estuary, so the subtle influence of good people will take me to reality.
M: It will take you to the river, but the crossing is your own. Freedom cannot be gained nor kept without will-to-freedom. You must strive for liberation; the least you can do is uncover and remove obstacles [vasanas] diligently. If you want peace you must strive for it. You will not get peace just by keeping quiet." - Sri Nisargadatta (205)
Note: here Sri Nisargadatta does what many good gurus do, and that is to say many often contradictory things. Both Papaji and Nisargadatta both often said "just keep quiet." Here he is essentially saying that alone will not bring the ego out of hiding, remove binding vasanas, or create understanding! So only an intelligent and integral approach will avoid these confusion over such remarks.
As mentioned elsewhere, heightened awareness, discrimination, conscious choice and a lighthearted approach are, of course, common to many teachings both ancient and modern, from vipassana to A.A.. All this is good and valuable and generally necessary. Our special focus of interest here is in when the introspective process, and spiritual process itself, goes so deep that it becomes wordless, second nature, and the one who would even do that as a practice becomes its last victim! Here the qualities of courage and perhaps foremost being endurance are called for. Certain vasanas, for instance, such as deep buried pain that often come up later in sadhana, although earlier for some, take special methods, besides divine grace of course, to unearth and purify. Earnestness, and not cleverness, is another basic quality that is key to the successful passage through this process. Embodiment teachers have described means such as: becoming aware OF, then aware IN, and then aware AS such feelings, helplessly at last, without a remedy, sadhana nearing its natural end. In other words, going where most seekers do not want to go, in a sense into the body and its pain, and dying in that mess. The way out is in and through, rather than spiritually bypassing it all.
Sri Nisargadatta had this to say along these lines:
"Acceptance of pain, non-resistance, courage and endurance - these open deep and perennial sources of real happiness, true bliss. Pleasure is readily accepted, while all the powers of the self reject pain. As the acceptance of pain is the denial of the self and the self stands in the way of true happiness, the wholehearted acceptance of pain releases the springs of happiness. [But] to reach the deeper layers of suffering you must go to its roots and uncover the vast underground network, where fear and desire are closely interwoven and the currents of life's energy oppose, obstruct and destroy each other." (206)
How to do this?
"By being with yourself, the 'I am', by watching yourself in your daily life with alert interest, with the intention to understand rather than to judge, in full acceptance of whatever may emerge, because it is there, you encourage the deep to come to the surface and enrich your life and conscious with its captive energies. This is the great work of awareness; it removes obstacles and releases energies by understanding the nature of life and mind. Intelligence is the door to freedom and alert attention is the mother of intelligence." (207)
The gist:
"You are not fully grown up, there are levels left underdeveloped because unattended. Just give full attention to what in you is crude and primitive, unreasonable and unkind, altogether childish, and you will ripen.It is the maturity of heart and mind that is essential. It comes effortlessly when the main obstacle is removed - inattention, unawareness. In awareness you grow." (208)
Two points:
First, in the original quote Kirpal Singh said that "the subconscious reservoir must be completely drained out before it can be filled with the love of the Lord/Master." In my opinion, the metaphor as stated is not completely accurate. For what is the mind - or subconscious mind - a 'box'? with impressions in it? Even considered as a 'lake' [manas-sarovar, i.e., 'the lake of mind'] , can it ever be completely drained out? I don’t think so. But major compulsive vasanas can and must be exposed and removed and/or then become obsolete by non use, or they will remain as obstacles for stable realization.. We also said "enough for the soul’s purposes." What factors determines that? One’s background, as well as one’s destiny, most likely will determine how much purification is enough - or possible. Better have as little preconceptions as possible. Ramana wisely said, "The Higher Power knows what to do and how to so it. Trust it."
Second, the vasanas are not all bad! There are good ones to reinforce that help one on the quest. We canbe said to develop new karmas that bind us to the Master or the God within
And as a final note to close this section, it needs to be remembered that "when a medicine has done its work, it is wise to stop taking it." What served one at an earlier stage may not serve at a later one. Some fundamental trust in oneself is called for; after all, the name of the game is "self-realization". One more thing. This is my view, it may not be yours - right now. One can always try to better oneself. The fruit of all of our efforts, however, can come down to the point of throwing in the towel, and seeing the hopelessness of one’s inability to change oneself. That is fact is the introduction to real surrender, acceptance, and change. Until then one is often captive to rules that can sap the heart right out of the path leaving one with a husk and no kernel. One must paradoxically be satiated with self-effort before the ego will truly be capable of letting go, and it is finally recognized that it is no great achievement but rather the only thing left to do. Until then, a balance and moderation in all things, on a base of sincerity and earnestness, is a reasonable guideline to follow to avoid righteousness and judgement of self and others. The following is my favorite - and most poignant - clip from the movie The Elephant Man, and illustrative of this core feeling more than words can say. I asked a group of longtime satsangis if they ever felt this way, and the answer was, "Everyday." I consider watching this movie to be a spiritual sadhana in itself.
I've Tried So Hard To Be Good
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
The value of contemplation and study as a complement to meditation; Contemplation helps our understanding of the various states, rather than just the having of them; it fosters intuition; inspires and cultivates equanimity, balance, and tolerance. Many matters need to be pondered in order to grow in relative wisdom, without a fear-based approach to life and spirituality; Journalling and self-introspection: cultivating two sides of our nature; Balancing the revelation of the dark side with that of the hidden bright creative side of the inner self, re-awakening buried childlike qualities of innocence, expectation of the Good, curiosity and enthusiasm; Affirmations or the ‘as if’ exercise: creating new logismos or thought forms, or, "as you think, so you become." Not merely “fake it until you make it,” but more like “faking it is making it.
Doing nothing but meditation can become an imbalance, and in fact is not recommended by any great teaching of the past, except for certain periods of time. As an example, in Buddhism they have always had 'three baskets' or Tripitaka - concentration/meditation, contemplation/metaphysical study, and moral discipline/service. Today we must add work and family. If meditation becomes excessive, and excessively goal-driven, it can reinforce the very separate identity one is trying to transcend. Therefore it is only natural for one to embrace contemplation of spiritual truths. It is necessary to stress that this essentially is not a matter of intellectual wrestling, but of random open-minded pondering of the wonder of existence. Topics are unlimited, but might include any aspect of the great Mystery that is Life itself, from the most simple to the most profound (which are not always so different). Some suggestions are as follows, but it must be said that many will not be attracted to what may seem like too much of a 'jnani' emphasis, which is fine, consider only if you are attracted to thee forms of inquiry, but certainly perennial ones have been: The nature of the Soul (Is it One, or many?); Daily life (Is it to be embraced, avoided, or witnessed?; What is the soul? Is it really in a body? In what way? How do we know? Just because we feel it is so? What is 'body'?; Without the idea of I-am-the-body, where is 'in' and 'out'? What is 'matter'? 'Where' is the soul?; What is time/ timelessness?; What 'awakens'?; What is consciousness? - Something we possess, or something we are? If awareness is what we are, and not something we contain or possess, what does this say about the 'prodigality' of our identity as a holder of awareness 'returning' to where Awareness has never departed from? [This is for pondering, we do not suggest with some that there is no path, although it may appear so at the end]; Why do the 'highs' alternate with the 'lows?' Why does aridity often follow upon illumination? And why do the saints say the latter process is normal and all right?; What exactly is meant by 'liberation in life'? Is it different in different traditions?; Why do I react to such and such (person, experience) the way that I do?; What is/are my purpose(s) in life?; How might my beliefs determine how I interpret my experiences, including the inner states? Do I really know what anything is? How often do I judge what is good and what is bad? Do I see others as Kal? What would I be without those thoughts?; If we are truly a child of God, must we wait until the end of the path to enjoy being that - does He not wish for us to play, be free of guilt or judgement, or fear of death, right now? Is something holding us back? If so, what is it?...What was it like being held in your mother's arms? What would it be like to feel at home in the world? [Kirpal said, not only are there "many mansions in the House of the Father", but also, "the world is the Father's house, and the various countries the many rooms therein"]. Do you trust that God who is Perfection is being you right now? (If not, why not? What are the implications of this?); And, why is the sky blue? - How lovely it is!
Contemplation helps our understanding of the various states, rather than just the having of them; it fosters intuition; inspires and cultivates equanimity and balance. Many matters need to be pondered in order to grow in relative wisdom, without a fear-based approach to life and spirituality. All of this can be gently and profitably included in a total life of practice.
The need for study should be self-evident: through it we grow in tolerance and understanding, moving beyond provincial and limited preconceptions and attitudes over what is truth or the spiritual path. Many books are the inspired words of saints and sages, and have the capacity, when read sincerely with a desire for wisdom, to activate latent vasanas or 'memory traces' within us and lead to awakenings or spiritual glimpses and intuitions. Thus they may be seen partly as a true form of 'white magic' which only the sage can do. This practice is not necessary unless one feels the urge; one can with confidence tread the path laid out by his God-ordained Master alone, but if we are to be part of the merging global understanding, we would do well, and avoid many pitfalls along the way, by getting as broad an understanding of the practical aspects of the spiritual path as traditional and modern teachers may lead us to. All teachings, contrary to the wishes and assumptions of many, do not say the same thing. They have their own arguments and perspectives on truth. When even realized sages disagree as to the ultimate, how much more may we require comparative study to grow from childhood and adolescence into a stable spiritual maturity? In addition, the study of the lives of saints and great men (Kirpal read three hundred such biographies as a youth) is always good, inspiring, and edifying, informing us of many twists and turns on the path - and much easier on the brain than philosophy.
All of the above may be incorporated into our approach while still maintaining an attitude of simple faith and trust, like a child in the lap of the mother. The head and the heart are not water-tight compartments, said Shri Atmananda.
Journalling and Self-Introspection: Cultivating Two Sides of Our Nature
With this section we do not propose to alter any chosen path, or, most certainly, give one more to do than he already may feel overwhelmed with doing (!), but just to highlight two different approaches to self-understanding that may prove helpful. While a diary, with its emphasis on self-introspection of the ego-self - observing and weeding out faults, improving character, and trying to be the best one can be - may help reveal the dark side of the old nature: suspicious, doubting (truth), withholding, assuming separation (through thought and belief) and acting separation (through action not in harmony with Reality), but also discrimination and cultivation of spiritual qualities like truthfulness, integrity, perseverance, etc., a more free-form style diary/journal can be used as an exercise to help reveal the hidden bright creative side of the inner self, re-awakening our often buried childlike identity: innocent, expectant (of the Good), curious, enthusiastic, in peace and tranquility. Key thoughts to contemplate/affirm are: "you are loved and cherished forever"; "you have nothing to fear"; and "there is nothing you can do wrongly." These speak directly to a part of ourselves long hidden.
Ramana said "unless one becomes like a five-year-old child there is no hope for him in the realm of self-knowledge." Lest there be confusion on this oft-repeated point, however, he qualified this in conversation:
"God becomes a child, and vice versa. That means the samksaras are yet latent in the child and its innocence is complete. When they are eradicated even a grow-up man becomes a child again, and thus remains God...The children are always in 'the home'. We, too, are there but are dreaming and imagining that we are outside the home...To be reborn is to become a child again. One must be reborn before gaining jnana, i.e., recovering the natural state...The state of the child is intended to be so. No one can take lessons from a child for Realization of the Self. The Master's state is like the state of the child, yet there is a difference between the two.The ego is potential in the child, whereas it is totally destroyed in the saint." (209)
It has often been said on the path that a Master's love is hundreds of times greater than a parent's love. This true, but it is also true that one may not be able to feel it if one cannot feel or uncover the often-buried need for one's own parent's love. One way or another the path, unopposed by the seeker's idealism, may lead him to this experience. So the gist about becoming like children again is that the samskaras or vasanas must be exposed and eradicated.
Still, as a supplementary practice, one can coax the inner child to come forth. William Samuel (1924-1996), gentle teacher of tranquility and awareness, spoke of awakening to the Child Within, a peace that first came to him on a battlefield in Korea. He later wrote: "I sat down among three of the bodies spawled along the slope. I became aware of a visual "Presence" hovering beside them. A misty, blue-white light of sorts. A different kind of light, primal, persuasive and powerful. I could not explain what I saw then, nor can I now, but with the sight, and because of the sight, I was absolutely certain within myself I was being shown evidence of the deathlessness of Life – the survival of the Child, the Soul of men." This realization is important and as necessary as mother's milk for a soul's development. For just as prayer in the life of a religious person is not given up when he advances to the mystical stage, nor mysticism abandoned when he passes to philosophy or jnana, just so, feeling oneself as a child of God provides stability when he may face challenges at a later stage to transcend even such a provisionally helpful posture. As Jeanne Guyon writes:
"There is something that every child of God has within him. It is a certain secret, a certain tranquil something within him, that comforts him even in his death and impotence. Whatever this element is, it is a thing deep in the innermost part of the believer, subtle yet very powerful. Now here is something so pure, so much Christian, that it would seem to be the ultimate end of that for which all the Christian religion is intended and the reward for all a believer's labors. What indeed does the follower of the Lord desire except to have this testimony in his inmost being: the testimony that he is a child of God. All spirituality centers in this simple experience. Ah, but even this must be given up. Just as all other things have been required, so this, also! At last we have come to that which truly works death in the believer! You see, it matters not what wretchedness the soul experiences, if that certain something is still there. In fact, the thing most needful to bring about this death will not come as long as that deep, almost imperceptible sense is present." (210)
We have mentioned such stages numerous times, and there is no need to repeat them here. What is important now is that emphasizing only self-introspection may reinforce a negative way of looking at things, and attempts to justify the proper attitudes one should have are often apologetics of an unskillful and rigid teaching. A proper balance is needed. It might be said that a journal is to a diary as 'compassion' is to 'awareness'. It is very difficult to live trying to be be perfect all the time.
Even non-judgmentally noticing our anger, for instance, is a more or less hard, dry row to hoe; adding a dose of compassion into the equation allows for a quiet acceptance of us and others just as we are. For while the head knows, the heart cares. Shall we go on trying to be perfect - when the greatest masters have said that only God is perfect - or might we spend at least an equal time 'loving ourselves to wholeness'? We harbor much anger, lust, attachment, and ego, no doubt, but merely saying we are wrong might not be as fruitful as loving and accepting. I know many will be afraid of this approach. Others will know how right it is. How many do not love themselves? This is a tricky issue because often in the East it has been taught that self-love is the universal sin, but in the West today the situation is often the reverse. How many because of toxic shame, for instance, cannot love themself, that is, their basic bodily human self? How many teachings in fact tell us to rise above or conquer this self?
"All I beg you to do is to perfect your love for yourself," said Sri Nisargadatta. Not the rotten self we condemn ourselves for being, but the child of God at the core. It is an attitude to cultivate, of course, not an excuse for indulgence. That is understood. But what one person calls indulgence for another is only pure sensory delight. Who is the judge?
We can feel our anger without acting on it or judging ourselves for it, for that would only add insult to injury. But being with it fully may allow the fear, sadness, or loneliness beneath it to surface for resolution and clearance. And then the innate compassion can be released. Similarly, when we feel lust, and cannot seem to avoid feeling it - i.e., if thinking of the Master or repeating simran just does succeed at sublimating it or 'making it go away' - we instead feel it fully, and the longing and great need beneath it becomes known to us. For it is hidden there. And likewise, rather than always struggling only to 'leave' the body, we let ourselves be grounded in it, thereby freeing ourselves from a primary source of reactivity that perpetuates suffering. This is a huge point, and one where one form of Buddhism can make a contribution to Sant Mat. Hakuin wrote, "This is the Lotus Land of Purity; this body, the Buddha." Sach Khand must certainly exist in its own right, but it is also, in a very real sense, as far away as we make it to be.
Such processing, by the way, may indeed go on for years; therefore, much patience with oneself is called for. This general theme is called in tantra, 'by what one falls one rises'. Not by acting out, but being with. It is one stage above just trying to do all the good and avoid all the bad; rather, here one works with the energies without judging. And when we fail, because we are just not capable of dealing with a certain level of pain, 'heat' or tapas, we simply pick ourselves up and keep going, without anxiety over our imperfections, praying for help as we keep moving ahead. "When you fall, fall forward," said Sawan Singh. Something more, Sant Darshan Singh said "the Master shakes up the hearts, and not all can take it; we may have to wait a lifetime to be worthy of His love." Other saints have sometimes said this, too. Initially it sounded beautiful to me, and the first part - "the Master shakes up the hearts" - is no doubt true, but, "to wait a lifetime to be worthy of His love"? The love which is supposed to be there always and already, even before we were born? This is one of those statements by Masters who eventually say everything, and which are simultaneously both true and false. Might it not be better if it were simply said, "we might have to wait a lifetime to mature to the point where we can fully accept or feel that love"? But for people who on the whole feel deep down basically unworthy to be then told they must work hard to become worthy - what can one say? Isn't there enough of this going around?
So, after this brief side track, back to the journal. What is a journal, besides any scribbling one can think of? While even that is totally all right, there is in fact a high purpose involved. A journal, first of all, like any other practice or discipline, is not something that must be 'filled out' or even noted in every day, or at a specific time. One of its primary purposes is for when glimpses of a truth, an important insight, feeling or memory may that hold potential meaning for us or for others. Then the exercise of writing it down serves as an inner conversation with a deep part of oneself that wants to express itself into the world, and that is also a connecting link with the higher nature. The important thing is the feeling and the intent, not the accuracy of expression. Such writing may take many forms. It is an active form of contemplation. It is not required, only suggested for consideration. As mentioned, many of the great ones of human history did the same, whether they called it a diary or a journal. And a journal is really what has been traditionally been thought of in general terms as a diary! We are constantly being gifted with little glimpses of truth, little clues that we gloss over as unimportant. Followed up closely, however, they may reveal many secrets needed on our path. This is not just 'talking to the mind'. Like a little child, we may simply call on the higher, or the inner, for guidance, and await a response. Or we may take notice during our day of something that speaks to our heart. Noticing the secret beauty in something or someone can take us past fear and judgement to the basic goodness at life's core. Or things our Master has written or said, to us or to a gathering that meant something directly to us. Or just questions we have and for which we desire answers. Here we include our own particular forms of self-and-world-inquiry. So we can write such moments down, in a phrase or two, to be remembered later. Not only us, but others need these 'clues' or inspirations, and so we write them down, anticipating their being passed on to others in time. We might write down a word or two, or a sentence or paragraph using symbol, analogy, metaphor, illustration or whatever serves to preserve the glimpse, the window to truth in that moment. Writing takes the glimpse or feeling out of the realm of thought and gives it a form. The journal is generally not shown to others, but may even some day turn into a story or a book. I waited thirty-five years to tell my own story, first on my website and now as Appendix 1 of this book. A journal is another way of viewing one's changing perspective and increased understanding over time. It is, once again, a more free-form version of a diary in which something other than the shadow side of oneself may reveal itself. And use it only if it feels beneficial, not out of a sense of obligation. Maybe as combined with or part of a diary. God knows there is enough for all of us to do today. Sant Kirpal once remarked on various traits of great men that had helped him in life, one of whom was John Bunyan, author of Pilgrim's Progress, whose motto was, "write something daily." Some food for thought.
"And just the moment
when you are all confused
leaps forth a voice;
hold me close
I'm love and
I'm always yours." - Rumi
Another, and not less important, use of a journal, as mentioned, is to serve as a form of self-inquiry. The latter is not limited to Maharshi's "Who am I?" exercise, but for the penetrating investigation of our beliefs, opinions, positions, and judgements. These, to a large extent, form what we call 'our world'. Not only the jnanis propose this, but even Sant Mat guru Jagat Singh said, "90% of spirituality is correct thinking." So we do a little 'Byron Katie' type of work, asking ourselves, objectively, about any issue or problem: First, "Is this a thought?"; "Is it true?"; "Do I know it is true?"; "How do I know it is true?" (i.e, what are my reasons for assuming so); and finally, "what would I be without this thought?" It may be found more effective, with less wiggle-room for self-justification, to right these down on paper. This tends to make our inquiry more objective. The list of questions we ask, and the reasons, observations, and (usually lame) excuses we put down as we inquire further, may be related to anything from mundane egoic reaction patterns to our most deeply held spiritual views. This in fact will cut quite close to the bone. The more we do this, however, the closer we get to the honest, fundamental truth of naked not-knowing. This 'negative technique' has in fact been the primary historical method at getting at truth: finding out what is not true, or what is not our true nature ("neti, neti' - "not this, not this", stripping away the accretions or obstructions to truth, not so much going after it directly). Then what is truth stands revealed on its own. This method has huge implications and benefits for the truth-seeker. It does require a ruthless honesty, however, that is, a willingness for truth to be revealed, whatever the cost. Non-dual teacher Fred Davis writes:
"Expecting a Higher Power to override our conscious unwillingness to seek truth, thus allowing us to side-step the uncomfortable work of self-discovery, is probably not going to work for us. While it apparently does happen, it occurs so rarely that it it's not even worth our addressing." (211)
Affirmations or the ‘As If’ exercise
This is another complement or alternative to the more negative self-introspection exercises. In this one uses the imaginative gazing faculty to place oneself in a situation where one may tend to repeat the habitual reaction patterns leading to one's shortcomings in the virtues, and visualize oneself acting or reacting differently. This can have great power to alter repetitive karmic patterns. It is an active practice distinct from just being remorseful and promising oneself to do better next time. Here one sees oneself actually doing that, using the power of thought to create another reality. This is best done at night before going to bed, letting the mind ‘sleep on it’. in Eastern Orthodoxy this is called creating new logismos or thought forms, or, "as you think, so you become." It is not just 'fake it until you make it,' but more like 'faking it is making it.' The recognition is that we live in a nonlinear universe and destiny is not fixed, and as we do our part room is made for God to do its part and complete the work. The "as if" exercise can change not only the future but also the past through recontextualization of states of lower levels of consciousness such as shame and guilt. David Hawkins gives an esoteric, non-psychological explanation:
"This process is occasioned by an exercise of the spiritual will, which, by its intention, invocation, prayer, and declaration, initiates aa process that is not of the ego but of the nonlinear Self. This process is extensively described in The Course in Miracles...Although the transformation is invited by the personal self, it is occasioned by the invocation of the spiritual will by which seemingly impossible becomes not only possible but an experiential actuality." (212)
CHAPTER NINETEEN
On the subject of judgementalness; East and West: "What we've got here is a failure to communicate”; Ac-centuate the positive: Are anger, fear, sorrow, depression, lusty thoughts, selfishness, our 'fault' and simply 'wrong'? One voice says, “yes," yet another says, “they are an invitation, through acceptance and compassionate, friendly attention, to free the energy beneath them, and awaken to our true nature as well”; When you accept yourself as you are, then you can change; Much judgementalism arises from posing the hypothetical, i.e., that people 'should' be different; however, if they could be, they would be; A comparative look at judgement and the body in different paths: Four Foundations of Mindfulness in Buddhism and four ‘bodies’ in Sant Mat; There is a hidden YES in everyone
Some additional things must be said. First, recognizing our failures presumes we always know what they are. And this makes us the judge and jury. What is a failure in 'chastity', for instance? Feeling desire for another? Looked at more closely, what is wrong with feeling desire - even for 'everyone'? Put into action, in the latter case, obviously a lot! But is feeling human desire 'wrong', and something one should feel at 'fault' for? Without desire there would be no creation, no life, no action, and no accomplishment. There is a Zen story about an old woman who supported a monk and wanted to test his realization. She sent an attractive maiden to embrace him, and then asked him what he felt. His response was "like a withered branch." Now, was that enlightenment? Would it had been wrong for him to feel desire? We suggest that if one gets overly concerned with this he will cut himself off from all life, all passion. Better to just be with the feelings of desire or need, without labelling them good or bad, get right down to their roots, and see how they transform themselves. Beneath strong craving is always need, and likely sorrow and fear. One can try to manipulate attention to bypass that experience, but a big part of one's wholeness and humanity will be lost. Rejecting the self that wants and needs will kill out our tenderness, too. And this - equating spiritual purity with the elimination of desire - would surely be a distortion of the Buddha's true message. Did the Buddha do battle with Mara, the Temptress? Did Christ fiercely resist Satan? Did Milarepa struggle with the demons? No, without aversion or attraction they met them with mindfulness and compassion. Accepting the wanting and needing self in this way, without views and opinions, helps release the old patterns. This requires trust, patience, and a certain commitment. But isn't it more promising than deluding ourselves that 'we' - as the 'old man', or the separate egoic identity - are getting better by keeping score of our failures, which, deep down, are largely habitual reflections of a deep wounding and incompleteness? Some will say, 'well, it is our fault due to karma of the past.' Perhaps, but who can know all of their karma? And karma is only one way of looking at it, that of judging ourselves as at 'fault' - faulty, unworthy, damaged goods, or 'broken'. Sooner or later one feels the necessity of releasing the inner resistance that continues to exert a strangle-hold on the heart. He passes through and beyond the feelings of, "I'll never get better," "No one will ever love me like this," or "Something is wrong with me." Grace no doubt is the deciding factor, for the deeper tendencies mightily resist change. One learns finally what it is to pray, for "true prayer begins when the heart feels like a stone, and prayer has become impossible", as said Thomas Merton. One forgives and accepts oneself without judgement, and surrenders his or her sovereignty over the whole problem.
"What we've got here is a failure to communicate," the man said in Cool Hand Luke. Eastern teachers came over en masse to the West and were subject to major culture shock, in many areas. An example of this is the Dalai Lama being told by western teachers that self-hatred was a big problem among their students. His Holiness did not understand them. He had no concept of what self-hatred could be. And yet a 'deficiency' syndrome is rampant in the western psyche, and eastern spiritual paths built on discipline and a search for perfection have left a wake of casualties behind them. Students may doubt that they are meditating correctly, feel they are bad meditators, and mistrust if they are progressing spiritually. In Sant Mat they are told to meditate in an accurate way, as previously mentioned, and they will see progress from day to day. That this kind of progress has almost never been the case in the annals of spirituality somehow is forgotten. And in fact, many initiates may actually be meditating properly, but have not gotten sufficient freedom from the lower chakras of the body to make concentration at the ajna door directly possible. And so they engage the inevitable struggle to concentrate, with the extra added guilt that they are failures. In this regard they may be held back by unskillful teaching by their masters - forgive me for suggesting this - who also may not adequately explain the many ways one can in fact notice he is progressing over time: does he have more equanimity and effectiveness in his daily affairs, is he less reactive emotionally, less judgmental, less worried, more kind?
A key question is, do we really have control over our thoughts, or are there multiple streams of conditioning that give rise to our thinking, desiring, reactive self? One can achieve apparent but not entire control over thoughts through a mantra, even 'doubling down' in times of distraction, but it is unlikely that the success will be lasting without the power of mindful attention burning through layers of conditioning and revealing the ever-present, tender heart beneath it all. There are two schools of thought on this issue. One is that we must simply create new thought habits to replace the old ones, without concern for where they come from, and this difficult process takes time but is the only way to progress. One other school argues that much of the thought stream is due to emotional reactivity that must sometimes be addressed at its own level and not only cognitively.
Along these lines, what is 'wrong' with even, say, having fantasies? One could say that they prevent us from getting in touch with our actual experience, and the tender presence of the heart's true longing, and also only prolong the endless climb out of chronic thought patterns. Yes, that is so, and as such and in general they must be faced without repetitive indulgence and met with the light of awareness, or simply ignored to be 'made obsolete through non-use', or lack of attention - but does that make them 'wrong' or 'our fault'? Is such an attitude fruitful? Rather than judging one can try to feel the energy behind them, and let it reveal the more underlying feelings beneath the stories, which are generally profound depths of need. In the process one might also notice how in trying to maintain control the body tightens and the mind goes into self-condemnation and/or endless rationalization. Finally, then, we see the need to release all control and sense of responsibility in order to "surrender in the arms of love" - which may feel, prior to actually doing it, like a kind of death. But as it is said, "learn to die so that you shall begin to live." There are many ways to die in addition to the strictly yogic or mystical one.
And, if we are to overlook the faults of others and see only their basic goodness, is it really possible if we do not take the same compassionate attitude towards ourselves? "Don't spare yourself," has been the most common traditional admonition, but we write as a counterbalance due to the simple fact that, as Westerners certainly, and longtime on the path, we have already had more than enough of that form of self-criticism.
Are anger, fear, sorrow, depression, lusty thoughts, selfishness, our 'fault' and simply 'wrong'? One side says, "yes that is so, as everything is a result of our karma." Yet another questions, "or are they an invitation, through acceptance and compassionate, friendly attention, to free the energy beneath them, and awaken to our true nature as well?" For instance, take the example of emotional depression. Some argue it is our fault, either through a lack of will power or struggle, or simply because one has not 'got it' yet - i.e., 'got' that there is 'no separate self'. But this is a simplistic and rather incompassionate view that only perpetuates the sense of separation, of un-belonging, that already feels very real. Beneath the depression may be anger, beneath that shame and hurt, and beneath that fear. Trying to avoid the pain of shame and fear through various strategies, including spiritual ones, builds walls that give the opposite result than is desired. If we feel shame or unworthiness at having what we are told are 'bad' thoughts - 'selfish', lustful, angry, needy, impatient, judgmental thoughts - that very sense of shame is itself a cover for even more intense feelings of being all alone and utterly worthless, as if facing annihilation. This is at the core of most people's feelings of deficiency, when they somehow have allowed themselves to get this vulnerable. And reaching this level is to begin a process of true healing and shedding of old identities. But if the entire process is thwarted by judging these thoughts as 'negative' and implying that one is 'wrong' or 'faulty', then the limit of awakening to your true nature is already drawn in the sand - the loving, open, accepting awareness that is also your true home. Thus, fear of the results of the 'sin of Adam and Eve' is reinforced by a fear that the world is not a friendly place and that something bad will happen if one relaxes control over his upward striving struggle to perfect himself. Further, what do we know of Adam and Eve? Did we sin, or have we just been born? Did we as man 'fall', or were we sent here by God - or are we simply evolving? Many Masters, including Master Kirpal, expressed one or the other of each of these positions - a 'fall', and 'evolution' - from time to time. Were they then purposely being inconsistent? No, rather, Masters know that at the higher levels of explanation what they are saying is not completely true, it can't be given the nature of truth, but only story, an approximation of how it appears to be, and advise specific to a particular individual, to his needs at the time, and to be supplanted by a higher understanding in due course. The Masters are well aware of this, but know that the Grace will work anyway. But one can see that assuming different perspectives also produces different attitudes to the problem at hand, with perhaps different results.
Sant Mat in general needs to offer a method of dealing with such emotional turmoil, especially in westerners. Thinking of the Master and/or meditating, in the beginning stages of the sacred relationship, often works well, if one is so blessed; but it also may be found, as a complete technique, to temporarily cover one's distress, and only in rare cases be fully successful all of the time. Why? Because the light of awareness must be brought to bear on one's direct, immediate experience to effect lasting change. There must be true self-knowledge and self-acceptance. And, as Carl Rogers said:
"The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change."
There is a misconception that to accept oneself or one's situation means resignation, a lack of motivation to change or act, or an acquiescence to forms of self-indulgence. But the miracle of self-acceptance is that it frees one up to appropriate, healthy responses and actions. To condemn oneself because he is 'not loving enough', 'selfish' (having desires), impatient, insecure, craves eggs or cigarettes, is too emotional, jealous, or angry, or - this is always a good one for seekers - 'too caught up on ego', etc, etc., etc., is to seriously miss the boat. With a constant monitor and critic like this, who needs Dharam Raj?! Our negative traits are fuel for enlightenment, and can only be loved into wholeness, not forcefully wiped out. Therefore, the advice to 'weed them out' has significance when understood in this light. It is not a work of a few months - and not a work at all in the sense of great effort. Only a committed, intimate friendly attention to them will transform their essence into spiritual energy to fuel our unfoldment. We don't really weed them out - the light or the Master Power is what purifies. And here we mean essentially the light of consciousness that you are, not just the astral light one sees.
David Hawkins has some wise words on this topic:
"Much judgementalism arises from posing the hypothetical, i.e., that people 'should' be different; however, if they could be, they would be. The hypothetical becomes actual by intention as well as the level of evolution of consciousness plus favorable conditions." (213)
Thus, people are as they are. We cannot directly fight what is, but by intention we invoke a higher power or energy-field which can begin to alter circumstances. This happens in its own time. As the alchemists said, "Unless Nature cooperates, the work will not succeed."
A comparative look at judgement and the body in different paths
Once again, how can one ever consent to feeling the sensations in the body that lie beneath the conditioned thought stream, thus revealing the roots of suffering and reactivity, if one's sadhana is only about leaving the body? This is really, potentially at least, a great divide between paths like Sant Mat and Buddhism. We say potentially because Sant Mat may be approached in an extreme way, as also may Buddhism. But both may perhaps meet in the middle. We will try to explain this a bit better.
Buddha is purported to have taught:
"There is one thing that, when cultivated and regularly practiced, leads to deep spiritual intention, to peace, to mindfulness and clear comprehension, to vision and knowledge, to happy life here and now, and to the culmination of wisdom and awakening. And what is that one thing? it is mindfulness centered on the body." (Satipatthana Sutta)
This is not all of the Buddhist path (in this case original Buddhism, the theravada or vipassana school), but the first stage of mindfulness, a key to the integral nature of full realization. How is it possible to practice 'mindfulness of the body', a foundational admonition of the Buddha, if one is trying to essentially to forget the body and fly out of this life? How to get in touch with fear, need, sorrow, and anger, and redeem them into the light, if we deal with deep anxiety and powerlessness essentially by numbing them out, and even measuring our success by how well we do so? For instance, mindfulness of the body would address suffering in this way. Whether one sees himself 'a discrete entity' (ego), or 'a vast empty space with intelligence that is conscious of itself' - which is not always accessible while there is suffering - one can try being mindful of the body and its sensations. One notices the tendency for aversion or dissociation, anything to not feel what one is feeling. He also may notice the mind's tendency to generate constant stories to justify or explain or otherwise make the uncomfortable sensations go away. Finally, he does nothing, except maybe to 'lean into' the sensations to experience them directly. He finds that they eventually change, arise and pass away, as likewise do his thoughts. This is a simple practice, which some Buddhist masters have followed all the way to enlightenment. It is not creating or assuming a 'self', or a 'separate self', or worrying about it one way or the other, nor is it trying to see that there is NOT a self - only an attentiveness to the sensations that appear to constitute the suffering, which usually start in the body. This is addressing the suffering in terms of the sensations that it seems to consist of. Nor is it an effort to try to find out where the sensations came from, only attending or noticing them without attachment or aversion. Spontaneous insight and knowledge will come out of this. Thus the intent is not trying to find out whether or not there is a sufferer, but only to know and reach the end of suffering itself. And it tackles it where primary roots of reactivity lie - in the body, and not by intellectual grappling, or an attempt at gaining insight from the neck up, based on preconceptions of what should or should not be. Of course, like all things, this may or may not work. Especially with a history of severe trauma, other aids may need to be employed. But this can be powerful. And it is so different, isn't it, than the inversion method of a path like Sant Mat? How can one make sense out of the recommendation to 'inhabit' the body fully, in order to process its karma, its reactivity, one's recoil from life, if one is only trying to get out of it? Seems impossible, doesn't it? Yet that is exactly what many current paths, both psychological and spiritual, are suggesting - that in fact many of us have never truly been born fully, but are in more or less hypnotic states of dissociation. Vipassana master S.N. Goenka, in this regard, tells us not to just pay attention to passing thoughts, because if we do, "deep inside, a part of the mind keeps on reacting. Because with the thought, there's also sensation. You must not miss this root." Tara Brach, in Radical Acceptance, says that "all of us to some degree disconnect from our bodies, but when we live bound in fear of perceived ever-present danger, finding our way back can be a long and delicate process." (214) So this issue is a real issue for the yogi, who conceives of his liberation in only one direction.
What good would it had done me, after getting home from India in 1973, basically an anchorite for four years whose mind had been blown but whose body was bottled up with craving in its very cells for human contact, if, instead of pursuing women with full desire, I had dutifully written down every day 'failures' in chastity? It would have been a disaster (!), a refusal of the grace I had been shown, and a refusal of getting back into life on a firm footing of balanced energy and love. I was forced to incarnate, through trial and error. It was entirely positive, but the mind through its former programming, was tempted to label it as negative. With balanced teaching this would have been unnecessary.
Zen teacher Charlotte Joko Beck wrote that the secret of spiritual life lies in the capacity to:
"return to that which we have spent a lifetime hiding from, to rest in the bodily experience of the present moment - even if it is a feeling of being humiliated, of failing, of abandonment, of unfairness." (215)
And this capacity rests in non-aversion to bodily life, aversion and attraction both being considered fetters to enlightenment. A real question to ask is: is the designation of Sat Mat as a 'positive mysticism' enough to deeply incorporate this 'secret', or is it still interpreted as merely handling one's daily affairs with responsibility, not like an ash-smeared ascetic with matted hair, but still with an utmost detachment and with the goal being ascent out of the entire situation? Now, this may be seen as an unfair comparison of two very different paths, but neither is actually or necessarily confined to this analysis. In other words, there is much more to vipassana as well as Sant Mat. The latter need not be seen as a dissociative path, nor the former only concerned with realization of enlightenment in the body.
The Buddha, for instance, talked about Four Foundations of Mindfulness, not just one. It was his version of talking about 'planes' or 'bodies' in the practical context of doing vipassana, and with regard to ways one can focus attention. In essence, he said that the ideal state of awareness in vipassana is 'non-selective', momentary concentration that meets each aspect or object of consciousness as it arises, without judgment, without holding onto or avoiding anything that arises in the field of awareness, and without using anything as a focus, especially one that is concentrated on to such an extent as to cause one to be less aware of other aspects of experience. It is pure, choiceless, no-manipulative, equanimous, uniformly present awareness. So when one achieves this state, one moment one is aware of a sensation, the next a thought, then another sensation, then an intuition, then an emotion, then a psychic impression - all tumbling by in a natural flow, not preferring any type of level more than another. Naturally, as this state deepens it blossoms into non-dual realization. No need to contemplate ‘non-dualism' or philosophize about it. It just arises as one state of balanced presence matures.
But he also recognized that this state must usually be achieved in stages. One aspect of what is inaccessible to most people about this state, is that it is pretty much impossible for most of us to be uniformly aware of all levels of experience with strong momentary concentration (the type that greets each arising object with concentrated awareness, but also lets it pass on its own, like the contents of a stream flowing by), at first. First we need some level of basic concentration cultivated on a particular focus, then we can translate that into the practice of momentary concentration, but at first this 'vipassana' style awareness will be easier to cultivate in a more expanded field than just the breath or a mantra or whatever was used to establish basic concentration, but not the total field, because that is harder to do at this stage.
So the Buddha introduced the idea of the Four Foundations of Mindfulness as a way to talk about (a) the four main areas of experience that one should eventually include in one's global field of awareness, and (b) to provide a framework for choosing where to start. This later idea being that it is best to first practice mindfulness with a primary focus in one of these four foundations, rather than all four at once.
Instead of using the Four Foundations, an idea similar to this in Sant Mat could be said to be the four bodies:
(1) physical - which means being mindful of sensations
(2) astral - being mindful of emotions and desires
(3) mental - being mindful of thoughts, concepts, inner dialogue ('self-talk')
(4) intuitions - pure awareness of awareness, presence, equanimity, peace, other virtues, the pure elements, etc..
The Four Foundations are similar but not identical to these. The point is, the Buddha said that in the practice of vipassana, one should begin by picking one of these, typically the realm of sensations as that is very accessible, and start with the breath, get concentrated, then practice uniform presence to all sensations, not only touch, but sights, smells, etc.. Then when this is stronger, one would gradually become more present to aspects like thoughts, memories, emotions, intuitions and so on.
He said that actually you can start with any of these four levels, and then expand out from these to include the others eventually. So, for instance, if you are gazing for light as in Sant Mat, this is close to vipassana in the sense that there is no attempt to control what is seen, and it is a valid 'foundation of mindfulness', as long as one does not apply effort to ignore other phenomena. At that point it leans more towards a samadhi practice and less toward vipassana. But it is not a black and white thing. Even if we lean towards samadhi, if it is only 65% and not 95%, then wisdom will develop, mindfulness will grow, and the effects of the practice will gradually expand naturally to include the other foundations. Here is the important point of this discussion: If, as often in Sant Mat, the leaning towards inversion is rather strong, the rate at which it integrates will be slowed. But it still functions to build the state of presence internally, and then this will slowly integrate into increased mindfulness in our daily life too. Just not as efficiently. If we do an inversion practice and also combine it with an aversion to the physical world, and a tendency towards escapism, then not only will it not integrate very well, but it can even reinforce a lack of integration. It can make things worse. To attempt to offset this, Darshan Singh used the phrase 'positive mysticism', and teachers in that lineage taught and embodied the path of integrating inversion meditation with embracing a world-engaged lifestyle and service. However, often this was expressed only in terms of 'settling karmic debts', and not automatically a true integration as in some of the non-dual paths. So while we would not categorize Sant Mat as at the extreme opposite of the spectrum from Theravada Buddhism, it is certainly on a very different part of the spectrum. But they do have some overlap, and are not totally opposite.
And, if a more Buddhist style practitioner wants to 'Buddhasize' inner light and sound practice, it not only can be done, but it is powerful. For instance, one can work with experiencing the nada or shabd as spread out throughout the whole body, not solely at the 'eye focus'. If one looks up into the ajna, and emphasizes selective/exclusive concentration, then it is more like to 'pull' upward (which is mostly the meditator's attitude) rather than integrate into physical consciousness and energy. But it can be worked with in various ways. In Dzogchen they awaken inner luminosity, integrate it with the state of non-dual presence, and then use it to take the rainbow body. Same can conceivably be done with shabd, although we are now getting beyond the scope of this article. Doing a spiritual practice is like combining a bunch of elements to make a meal. Various ingredients can be combined in various ways and give different results. One needs to learn about 'spiritual chemistry' to be most skillful at this business. Most paths and practitioners think that the ways they are familiar with are the only ways to work with the various ingredients that they know about. It is, as always, more complex than that. But there is an underlying science, as yet little understood on our planet, that will illuminate all this. Such a path does not exist yet here, on this plane of this planet, but some paths are closer than others.
We have not the intention here to argue Buddhism versus Sant Mat (indeed, especially while teachers within all of the Buddhist schools as well as Sant Mat often argue among themselves as to the best way to enlightenment!), only to make a point about the need to honor the body and bodily life to achieve an integral non-dual realization. We have already shown in Part Two, in a discussion of the jhanas and samadhis, the great and many benefits of inward concentration. Here we make the complementary argument in favor of the practice of mindfulness as necessary for the development of wisdom and the ability to actually live a liberated life in the world. With the moment to moment practice awareness in everyday life one can engage in the absorptive meditation with less tendency towards being lost in spiritual ambition or frustration. Yes, a certain amount of wisdom will come from yogic inversion samadhis, or the concentrative jhanas - when not attained solely by technique - but not necessarily fully, insofar as one's focus while meditating is a narrow one, conferring other benefits, while wisdom is a product of comparative experience with an open mind or global attention. If the fruits of concentration and samadhi are used to further the development of insight, so much the better. Furthermore, in Sant Mat much wisdom may be passively infused by grace, which represents a third, esoteric avenue of growth, unique to this path where a special link is made with the Master-Power. This may in fact occur when all other routes have been blocked for the disciple, when he has been rendered more or less powerless, tied hands and feet as it were, and this also by grace. Thus, there may be said to a 'bhakti equivalent' to Buddhist mindfulness, which is faith and trust, often when all else is rendered impossible. What we are referring to is essentially a 'secret' path.
Hopefully this discussion does not make matters more complicated for the reader than he feels already! The point is that theoretically and ideally one may practice in such a manner and with such an understanding that he will not stagnate in his growth when certain areas cry out to be addressed, but for which the teaching may not provide a direct means to deal with. Kirpal would sometimes implore us, "how long will you keep this pain within you?" What pain was he speaking about? Ultimately the core, central pain of the human condition, i.e., feeling oneself separate, cut-off, not belonging, but also overlaid with accumulated wounds from birth and childhood. The problem is that very often one does not even realize the hidden pain he carries, and inverted concentrative meditation alone will not bring this out, but can even bury it further. So either the guru or God is faced with the unpleasant task of 'lancing this boil', through various spiritual means, or one tries for years to improve oneself with less than satisfactory results. Or one may experience only clear sailing, in which case this consideration is not needed; we merely attempt to provide for a deficiency as may historically exist in the teachings, keeping a diverse majority of practitioners in mind.
The sequence of self-condemnation, for example, is as follows: we feel bad and tell ourselves that therefore we must be bad, and try to be good to avoid feeling bad, when within it lies our salvation! Rather than seeing suffering as a gateway to compassion, we re-double our self-denying efforts to 'feel better'. We in fact try spiritually to 'die' in order to avoid the actual existential death that is facing us in every moment! In this respect a 'negative' emotion like anger is 'bad' notably because it hurts others, but because it removes us from feeling old hurt and shame, which in turn is a learned response to primal fear. These cannot truly be repressed, sublimated or escaped, but must be experienced and transformed.
The orthodox Church Elders may be extreme, but not entirely wrong, in their own context, when they advise monks to hold their anger until 'smoke comes out of their ears' (!); for most of us feeling anger is not wrong or bad in itself. Projecting it outwards or inwards, however, is generally self-defeating, because it has a historical logic that served a purpose in its own time which must now be revealed, which is difficult to do when it is merely dramatized. Observe it, feel it, be it, and let it reveal what it is made of. Then it will release, sooner or later, usually gradually as self-understanding is gained. One is not to be concerned with its release, for that will increase its strength; just observe with awareness and compassion. If one feels no capacity for compassion, then have the intent for compassion. In calmer moments try to see oneself through the eyes of one's teacher, who is certainly non-judgemental and compassionate. Or perhaps, see oneself through the eyes of a loving grandparent, who appreciated your youthful curiosity and exuberance. Especially in those moments when one may face grief or loneliness that seems unending, as deep emotions often feel. Hafiz said:
"Don't surrender your loneliness so quickly.
Let it cut more deep.
Let it ferment and season you
As few human or even divine ingredients can."
Yet, only to notice the passions is not enough to change or eradicate them; this is an error of 'awareness' paths. Grace must be invoked and intervene, for only it has the ultimate transforming power. Only it is connected with the heart and the Soul and knows what the Soul needs and wants. Do we really know when anger, fear, impatience, boredom, or desire are wrong? Let's be frank: what is inherently wrong with desire, per se? Yes, the Buddha and most traditional paths advise, 'be desireless'. But is this even possible? The Buddhist and monastic solution was to abandon life, or to reach a state where life was only minimally intrusive. But to be born is to have a desire for life. Life desires life. We would be dead and non-human without desire. And of course, without desire for God one would never realize God. That is a desire of the Soul, and not just false identification of a contracted ego as many paths teach. Now, it may be desirable to want something higher than to be totally at the mercy of so-called lower desires, yes; but even here one runs close to siding with the denial of human nature itself, so discernment is needed.
Alan Watts spoke of "The Wisdom of Insecurity." When there appears no well-tracked out path before us, we have no choice but to surrender to the Guide who has may have apparently retreated to take up a position behind instead of in front of us. We may then feel as if we are to fall into an abyss. This is inevitable at some point. One needs to know, therefore, that it is possible to technically fulfill each and every one of the yamas and niyamas (do's and don'ts) requirements and still not achieve self-knowledge or self-acceptance. There needs be no regrets over this or whatever one may have done or not done. Confusion may reign. This is really a most hopeful sign. The ego is starting to rot. Indeed, de Caussade wrote:
"It is indeed a great secret, for by this way and by this way only are pure faith and pure hope established in the soul...Everything one does seems the fruit of chance and natural inclination. Everything that happens humiliates the soul...Others are always admired, but we feel miles below them and put to confusion by their every action....The divine action seems to keep us far from virtue only to plunge the soul into a profound humility. But this humility does not seem to be such to the soul, it thinks it is suffering from the rigours of pure justice."
"The most remarkable thing about this is that in the eyes of those whom God does not enlighten concerning its path, the soul seems animated by quite contrary feelings such as obstinacy, disobedience, contempt and indignation that cannot be cured, and the more the soul tries to reform these disorders, the worse they become, for they are the most proper means to detach it from itself and fit it for divine union. From this painful trial comes the principal merit of self-abandonment. In the duty of the present moment everything is of a nature to draw the soul away from its path of love and simple obedience. It needs heroic courage and love to stand firm in its simple, active fidelity and sing its part with assurance, while grace sings its own with different melodies and in different keys which do nothing but convince the soul that it is deceived and lost." (216)
How is it possible for one to make sense of a specified diary or moral and ethical code self-introspection business at this juncture?! At such a time there remains only the saying of "yes" - "fiat!" - to all of ones life. This is really key. It has been said that there is a hidden YES in everyone. Saying "yes" to all things - events, thoughts, desires, body, mind, impulses, feelings, people - is not mere 'positive thinking', nor is it to approve of everything; rather, it is to accept them with mindfulness and compassion, allowing them to arise and pass away. Saying "yes" is to invite Kal to tea, surrendering unconditionally all resistance: the resistance of a self that doesn't want to die, and even pursues a path of death in an attempt to avoid death! This includes saying "yes" even to "no", when such acceptance is impossible or too much to ask of oneself at the time. One accepts - and forgives - himself "seventy times seven". But how? One way is to visualize oneself - or another - as if he were an infant or child, or as someone whom one will never see again. That may soften the heart. There are myriad ways. The important thing is the intent to forgive, to accept, to be compassionate, for "God hears the unspoken prayer".
It might be very useful to include a daily or intermittent 'self-judging' scan as part of a nightly exercise. And then offer oneself the same unconditional kindness or friendliness that he would offer to another. This way one will be doing something to affirm his or her inherent goodness, which no imperfection or fault can ever tain. Contemporary teacher Bapuji writes:
"My beloved child.
Break your heart no longer.
Each time you judge yourself you break your own heart.
You stop feeding on the love which is the wellspring of your vitality.
The time has come, your time."
Self-judgement also tends to fall away when one recognizes the extent of suffering in samsara. To recognize these depths it is necessary not to run from suffering. Then the re-connection with the heart is made. Hafiz continues:
"Something missing in my heart tonight.
Has made my eyes so soft,
My voice so tender,
My need for God Absolutely Clear."
We make the prayer of intention and longing to be tender and kind to all - especially oneself - until compassion awakens of itself. Hafiz concludes:
"Ask the Friend for love.
Ask him again.
For I have learned that every heart will get
What it prays for Most." (217)
Saints such as Jaimal and Kirpal Singh were not merely being poetic when they exclaimed that they did not care if they ever reached Sach Khand, but only wanted love and devotion at the Guru's holy feet. Similarly, there really is a stage where a person is no longer concerned with his own progress! For, how else could one ever know selflessness?
It is really advantageous if not essential that one come to the position of having no fixed views and opinions - period. Good teachers, too, usually encourage this disposition. (218)
"Day and night I guarded the pearl of my soul.
Now in this ocean of pearling currents, I've lost track of which was mine." (219)
Here is another thought on the issue of judgement. By now hopefully the reader may get a sense that the Masters are faced with a hard task in proscribing a discipline for everyone at every stage. It is thus no wonder that their advice may seem confusing and even contradictory at times. And this is why we suggested, without intending to make it seem like one has only more things to do than he may already feel burdened with, that study, contemplation, and perhaps something like journalling may be of use. So take from all this whatever suits you. Sant Kirpal once said:
"Keeping the diary means: if you criticize yourself as you criticize others you will become a saint." (220)
This is a common attitude among saints. Rama Tirtha said, "Wanted: reformers not of others but of oneselves." It is essentially saying 'criticize yourself, but stop criticizing others.' And also perhaps, 'criticize yourself for criticizing others'. Many of the saints were very hard on themselves but very lenient with others. Elder Paissos and St. Silouan were like that. Yet, there is another option that may be worth pondering: what if you stop criticizing, judging, and condemning others, as well as yourself? What will you then become, nothing? or maybe a sage?
"Judge not and ye shall not also be judged; condemn not and ye shall not be condemned."
Who will then condemn us? The Master (certainly no); Dharam Raj (he barely enters the picture!); ourselves (now THAT may be the big question). What if we stop fault-finding and judgement, worry and concern for our personal affairs, and also plans and calculations for inner peace and spiritual growth? This is not to dismiss or deny the metanoia previously recognized earlier in this essay, or the role of apparent self-effort, but only to highlight a further stage where one finally dares to sacrifice the separate ego that is trying desperately to succeed. It is recognized that such an apparent 'leap of faith' is generally achieved in stages; nevertheless, once the need is recognized, it is a disposition that transcends stages and trumps fear. This advice is to the many who have done way too much self-condemning and self-judging already. It is quite a feat to pull out of that quagmire. One has to face the fear of being wrong - the very thing that self-judging keeps in place. Most seekers have been way too critical and calculating of their every move. It may be necessary in the beginning, but sooner or later that leap into the unknown must happen or we will end up afraid of our own shadow and never knowing or being our true nature.
Bottom line, there comes a time when methods suitable for a beginner are naturally put aside as a more intuitive approach begins to flower. No one can tell a person when that time has come. For an excellent summary of this, in terms of what he calls "Long" and "Short" paths, see Category 23, chapters 1-5 of The Notebooks of Paul Brunton (http://paulbrunton.org/notebooks/23/1/), in which distinctions between these two stages are detailed. This material is highly recommended and is extremely relevant to the topic at hand.
It comes down, then, to a matter of stages of practice and development, and what actually continues to serve an aspirant. This is not always clear, and at times self-trust and experimentation is in order, for how else is one to come to a true spiritual independence, i.e., ones own Atma? Brunton points to the paradox:
"The Long Path is likely to come first in a man's spiritual career, with the bizarre results that he is required to become much more aware of what is going on within him - his thoughts, feelings and character - and then, with entry on the Short Path, to become much less aware of it, even to the point of ignoring it...The Long Path brings the self to a growing awareness of its own strength, whereas the Short Path brings it to a growing awareness of its own unreality...The Long Path votary works from systems, rules, plans, and techniques put down by its guides, but the Short Path votary has no path chalked out for him. He is forever "waiting on the Lord." (220)
It is not often easy, and in fact requires courage, to desert what has been a mode of operation for so long, even when it no longer serves one as it initially did. That is, moving from an emphasis on abnegation of character to one of self-acceptance of limitations that may barely seem to change despite even years of earnest efforts, from a personal feeling of urgency to one of faithful trust, is a major shift; may it not be why Kirpal said that "only rarely does even a blessed soul acquire this attitude" ? The truth is that there is no contradiction, that both approaches are complementary and balancing. Paradox is a truth of the path. Most people try the hard way in the beginning and then both simultaneously for a time, before falling helplessly into surrender. There is generally a gradual transition.
CHAPTER TWENTY
The reality of stages and the need for tolerance
This could be seen as an introduction to the section on cultism discussed later in Part Three. A difficulty found in judging, comparing, or counseling fellow seekers is the unavoidable fact that we go through a number of transitions, often unexpected and revolutionary, but nevertheless more or less inevitable, not only in meditation but in attitude towards our self and even the path. Those in one stage can hardly understand or recognize what those in another are going through. Whether a path of self effort versus a path of self-surrender, the Long Path or Short Path, bhakti or jnana, the path of Dhyana or the path of Fire, the stage of self-love and working on oneself or the path of pure love and forgetting oneself, being concerned with every thought or being unconcerned with all thought, the changes while often gradual may still seem to represent a great divide. Therefore, tolerance is asked for with the recognition that everyone is where they need or want to be in any point in time and there is not one way, mode of conduct or practice for all to follow. The devotional paths in general focus on transforming the effective and volitional natures, but do not pursue the self-inquiry and cognitive sadhana that can augment the former with direct awakenings, or the opening of the ‘mental eyes’, leading to questions people have as to the nature and place of ‘no-self’ realizations or even whether they exist in gradual paths like Sant Mat. We have hope this book can help bridge the apparent gap. Fortunately, in the end there is no conflict and all awakenings and realizations resolve themselves peaceably in the only divine truth. For those who have been at this thing for a while, two apparent stages seem to present themselves, at least on devotional paths, and which a full teaching might accommodate instead of pressuring everyone into one direction when it may no longer apply. At least we might be better able to be tolerant of one another. This is not a hard and fast distinction, but it does exist.
For instance, deCaussade sums up a divine purpose as the ferreting out of self-love in all its disguises, and how His 'chosen spouses' may appear to receive the harshest treatment [see also "The Inner Master Is More Strict Than Me" in Part Four]. We need be careful not to consider this term as indicating mere caprice on the part of a deity. The following quote is very important:
“It is the usual way by which God conducts His chosen spouses to the perfection He destines them to attain; and I have known very few whom He has not judged it necessary to guide along this path when they give themselves up entirely to Him. Why then are there such painful states? Why this heaviness of heart which takes the pleasure out of everything? and this depression which makes life insupportable? Why? It is to destroy, in those souls destined to a perfect union with God, a certain base of hidden presumption; to attack pride in its last retreat; to overwhelm with bitterness that cursed self-love which is only content with what gives it pleasure; until at last, not knowing where to turn, it dies for want of food and attention, as a fire goes out for want of fuel to feed it. This death, however, is not the work of a moment; a great quantity of water is required to extinguish a great conflagration. Self-love is like a many-headed hydra, and its heads have to be cut off successively. It has many lives that have to be destroyed one after the other if one wishes to be completely delivered. You have, doubtless, obtained a great advantage by making it die to nature and the senses; but do not dream that you are entirely set free from its obsessions. It recovers from this first defeat and renews its attacks on another ground. More subtle in future, it begins again on that which is sensible in devotion; and it is to be feared that this second attempt, apparently much less crude, and more justifiable than its predecessor, is also much more powerful.” [Brunton wrote that the ego is almost infinitely crafty in not letting one track it down to its hidden lair and eradicate it, and that it is even willing to “allow a large attrition of its scope” in order to preserve itself]. Nevertheless, pure love cannot put up with the one any more than with the other. God cannot suffer sensible consolations to share a heart that belongs to Him. What then will happen? If less privileged souls are in question, for whom God has not such a jealous love, He allows them a peaceful enjoyment of these holy pleasures, and contents Himself with the sacrifice they have made of the pleasures of sense. This is, in fact, the ordinary course with devout persons, whose piety is somewhat mixed with a certain amount of self-seeking. Assuredly God does not approve of their defects; but, as they have received fewer graces, He is less exacting in the matter of perfection. These are the ordinary spouses of an inferior rank, whose beauty needs not to be so irreproachable, for they have not the power to wound His divine heart so keenly; but He has far other requirements, as He has quite other designs with regard to His chosen spouses. The jealousy of His love equals its tenderness. Desiring to give Himself entirely to them, He wishes also to possess their whole heart without division. Therefore He would not be satisfied with the exterior crosses and pains which detach from creatures but desires to detach them from themselves, and to destroy in them to the last fibre that self-love which is rooted in feelings of devotion, is supported and nourished by them, and finds its satisfaction in them. To effect this second death He withdraws all consolation, all pleasure, all interior help, insomuch that the poor soul finds itself as though suspended between Heaven and earth, without the consolations of the one, nor the comforts of the other. For a human being who cannot exist without pleasure and without love, this seems a sort of annihilation. Nothing then remains for him but to attach himself - not with the heart which no longer feels anything, but with the essence of the soul - to God alone, whom he knows and perceives by bare faith in an obscure manner. Oh! it is then that the soul, perfectly purified by this two-fold death, enters into a spiritual alliance with God, and possesses Him in the pure delights of purified love; which never could have been the case if its spiritual taste had not been doubly purified.” (221)
Fenelon also in a similar manner wrote about ‘different intentions’ of God for different souls, in that that not everyone is tried in the same degree in this life. This quote is also extremely important, both for our understanding, tolerance, and compassionate regard for ourselves and others. From a Christian perspective it also explains why most will not experience a dark night experience in its fullest measure.
"God, in his desire to strip the soul for its own perfection, causes it really to pass through these trials of self, and never leaves it alone until he has put an end to its love of self-concern and support. There is nothing so jealous, so exacting, and so searching as this pure love of God. It cannot abide a thousand things that were unnoticed in our previous state. What other Christians might consider insignificant seems a vital point to the soul that is intent on the death of the old self. As with gold in the furnace, the fire consumes all that is not gold, so it seems necessary that the heart should be melted with fervent heat in order for the love of God to be rendered pure. Those being purified in this way are thankful to God for whatever he does in them solely because he does it for his own glory. God does not pursue every soul in this way in the present life. There are many truly good persons whom he leaves in some degree under the sway of self-love. These remainders of self support them in the practice of virtue and serve to purify them to a certain degree. There would be almost nothing more harmful or dangerous than to deprive such persons of the contemplation of the grace of God in them as leading to their own personal perfection. This second group is also grateful, but partly because their own perfection is secured at the same time. If the first group should try to deprive the second of this interior comfort they have in reference to grace, they would cause them as much injury as they would an infant by weaning it before it was able to eat. To take away the breast would be to destroy it. We must never seek to deprive a soul of the food that still contains nourishment for it, and that God allows to remain as a stay to its weakness. To forestall or hinder grace would be to destroy it. On the other hand, the second group should not condemn the first because they do not see them as much concerned as they themselves are about their own perfection. God works in everyone as he pleases. The wind blows wherever it pleases, and as it pleases. Forgetfulness of self is a state in which God can do with us whatever most pleases him. The important point is that those who are still supported somewhat by self should not be too anxious about those who are in pure love, nor should the latter try to make the former pass through new trials before God calls them to it." (222) Finally, the unknown author of the fourteenth-century The Cloud of Unknowing wrote of the need to be true to our own calling in this life and not compare ourselves with others. He distinguished between "those called to salvation and those called to its perfection," and said that both are precious in the sight of the Lord. St. John of the Cross in Ascent of Mount Carmel similarly spoke of 'degrees' of union and that not all souls will reach the same degree, but only according to their capacity. He likened this to the saint's vision of God in Heaven, saying "some see more, others less, but all see him and are happy because, whatever their capacity, it is fully satisfied." If we forget advaita for the moment, this is very comforting. It orients us to the truth that all is in the hands of God, that "without me ye can do nothing," and "my yoke is easy, and my burden light." There is no struggle, only "leaning on the everlasting arms". The struggle, if any, is in enduring the straightening or scrubbing process that the Lord ordains for you.That is all. This is one way of looking at the situation from the devotional point of view.
Those in diverse spiritual groups will readily notice the different categories among seekers, as well as different stages in themselves in times past. This will hopefully help to foster a fellow-feeling of both oneness and tolerance.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
TWO SPRITES - HURRY AND WORRY
"In every life we have some trouble; when you worry you make it double." - Bobby McFerrin
"The cessation of all worries is the attainment of the supreme truth." - Ramana Maharishi
“To-morrow will take care of itself. He who sustains us today with His invisible hand, will sustain us tomorrow. The manna in the desert was only given from day to day, and whoever, through want of confidence, or a false wisdom, gathered it up for the next day, found it spoilt.” - deCaussade
"Worrying is praying for failure." - Ishwar Puri
“If you worry about yourself what necessity has the Guru to worry about you? If a man puts his trust in the Sadguru, it is the Sadguru whose heart suffers even if the man is but slightly hurt, or if but a hair on his head is touched. God will never let down those who have surrendered themselves to Him. Therefore, you should have friendship with God." - Shri Siddharameshwar Maharaj
The title of this section was chosen from a favorite statement of Kirpal Singh that “HURRY and WORRY” - the “two sprites” - are often our downfall. The metaphor is appropriate, as a 'sprite' is an elusive elfish creature that can influence human events, to the consternation of those involved.
Mostly everyone knows inside that, on a relative level at least, he is not the All Mighty, or the Master-Power behind all events, and, therefore, that all the worry in the world is not helpful in achieving what he desires. “Concern is your concession to unconsciousness,” a spiritual brother of mine once said. 'Consideration', not concern in the ego sense, is an appropriate disposition for the enlightened soul. It is true caring. For what is concern but a veiled form of worry, or doubt in the ever-present, ever-fulfilled, ever-achieved and achieving divine goodness and grace? We feel that if we are 'worried' about someone, for instance, we are caring for them, while what we may actually be doing is denying the divine nature.
Fenelon wrote:
“Live in peace without worrying about the future. Unnecessary worrying and imagining the worst possible scenario will strangle your faith. God alone knows what will happen to you. You don’t even own the present moment, for even this belongs to God. So live according to His will. Who are you to ask the Lord, “Why are you doing this to me?” He is the Lord - let Him do what seems good to Him…The future is not yet yours - perhaps it never will be. And when tomorrow comes it will probably be different from what you had imagined.” (223)
Yet ever since the plaintive sighs of Job, we still fret and strain over our plight; but is worry a man’s responsibility? What good does it do?! Is it not a primary expression of unenlightenment? ‘Let go and let God’, ‘do your best and let God do the rest,’ ‘man proposes and God disposes, are various expressions of such wisdom. Probing a little deeper, however, we also encounter the following aspect.
Does anyone ever get the feeling they are choking on themself? That ego is literally strangling one in each instant? The etymology of one important word in our language stands out as proof of this:
”Worry: (Old English) to strangle, throttle, kill by violence; (Middle English) to seize by the throat and tear or lacerate, e.g., dogs or wolves attacking sheep." (Oxford English Dictionary)
Dramatic words, yes; true words, sadly, also yes. At least that is what the traditions have said. At the root of ego, besides fear, or doubt, is worry. Positively, the ego is necessary to get us onto and through the path. Negatively, until it becomes ‘ripe’, well-satiated and saturated with experience, however, it resists its eventual surrender to the Soul or Self, and trips us up every step of the way. It will even, as PB said, ‘welcome a large attrition of its scope’ (224) in order to insure its survival. That means that if it can assume the role of humble spiritual seeker, it will do so, but it won’t give itself up without a knock-down drag-out fight, in most instances. The ego is thus our greatest help and greatest enemy. It rises us up from animals by allowing for self-reflection, but allows us to remain lower than animals by keeping us separate and away from all that is good, holy, and happy. Anthony Damiani once remarked:
“Think of the Overself constantly manifesting throughout eons of time, and that you came up from the stone, through the plant, through the animal, and into the human species, and that in all this process of manifestation, the ego was concerned with one thing, preserving itself. And then if you conceive of that tendency - which is only a thought but strong enough to strangle us every moment of the day - if you conceive of that tendency, then you tell me that tendency knows the higher Awareness? Of course not. The only thing it knows is that it must preserve intact that tendency to go on being what it is.”
Q: ”The Buddhists point out that the ego has no permanence, that wherever you look for it, you can’t find it.”
Anthony: “But it’s strangling you every moment! It doesn’t matter that I can’t find it.” (225)
The offered solution, of course, the way out, so to speak, is that the ego must be refined, matured, and dedicated to the quest, in which it will face self-immolation at the end, ‘like a stick being used to stir a fire’ being eventually thrown into the fire itself. Paradoxically, however, in this non-dual world we live in, the ego survives as a function, but without the taint of egoism.
This form of metaphor of choking or thorn in one’s throat was used long ago by Sankara in his Vivekachudamani:
“Therefore destroying this egoism, thy enemy - which appears like a thorn sticking in the throat of a man taking his meal - with the great sword of realization, enjoy directly and freely the bliss of thy own empire, the majesty of the atman."
Swami Ranaganathananda comments:
“This egoism is our greatest enemy (ahamkaramimam svasatru). It is like a thorn sticking in the throat of a man taking his meal (bhokturgate kantakavatpratitam). As long as there is this thorn, man is constantly choked.” (226))
Interestingly, in the field of somatic psychology, David Boadella, Director of the Center for Biosynthesis, argued that there were two primary ‘rings’ of tension, one, at the level of the root of the neck, which, along with the tension in the diaphragm, effectively cuts off feeling at the heart. He called these two areas of tension the ‘linchpins’ of the entire process of bodily armoring. (227)
So we are truly choking transcendentally, psychologically, and at times even physically. Not a nice way to be. What can we do?
In our day and age, each personality is more often than not suffering from a permanent inferiority complex. It is that, in fact, which is a direct manifestation of his sense of separation from the whole. One of the most direct manifestations of this condition is negative speech, both spoken and unspoken. We are spiritually suppressed, falsely humble and afraid to assert our true identity, which is the divinity. Instead of readily saying 'YES' to life, and 'I AM,' the most powerful words in existence, we think the negative, the fearful, the safe, the secure, and inwardly dwell on 'poor me,' 'I am not good enough,' or 'I can’t do it.' Isn’t it the truth? In fact, a good case can be made for religious dogma having kept this attitude in place, as well as also having survived because of it. In short, the depressed, suppressed, and repressed 'I am not God' or, even worse, 'I am just a worm' self-statements may even be more defining impediments to true spiritual freedom than the apparently bombastic declarations 'I am God', or 'I am divine.' Thus, what may be counter-intuitive in the face of thousands of years of conventional worldly and spiritual teachings alike may be just what is needed at this time, at least to counter an inertial mass of old dogma and philosophy. They are dualistic assertions, to be sure, but for many may be just what the doctor ordered.
“Why do you say that you are a sinner? Your trust in God is sufficient to save you from rebirths. Cast all burden onto Him. In the Tiruvachakam it is said: “Though I am worse than a dog, you have graciously undertaken to protect me. This delusion of birth and death is maintained by you. Moreover, am I the person to sift and judge? Am I the Lord here? Oh Maheswara! It is for you to roll me through bodies (by births and deaths) or keep me fixed at your own feet.” Therefore have faith and that will save you.” - Ramana Maharshi (228)
This false humility (all in good faith, but deluded nevertheless), manifests as a block at the throat center, at times a literal sense of 'choking,' a veritable implosion of the being. When combined with a teaching of exclusive mystical inversion or escape, for instance, it can lead to a very artificial, unnatural, and distorted form of spirituality, yet one which unfortunately also has much precedent behind it. It manifests in many forms of withholding, on the human level specifically as a lack of praise - praise being the cure for the loveless heart - and an inability to take joy in the good fortune and success of others, thereby keeping us feeling separated as well. It puts a clamp on our true nature, divine identity and potential. It kills initiative, and the exercise of bold, decisive and daring soul powers. It keeps us small. Ultimately, it keeps us in a permanent state of stagnation on the path. Worry what others might 'think,' 'say,' or 'do' - or worries what 'God' or 'guru' might think, say, or do, the list goes on and on. One gets the picture. We become small, while secretly thinking we are big, because we never actually see our egoic pretensions clash with reality which would result in a 'natural deflation' or 'equalization' and, simultaneously, a genuine rebirth in consciousness.
We worry about 'doing it wrong,' 'getting it right,' 'not making a big mistake,' or 'being deluded.' While these may be legitimate, they can also lead to the condition of what C.S. Lewis referred to as “being so afraid of being taken in that one can’t be taken out.”
So why worry? It is said that when faced with a situation there are two possibilities. Either there is nothing we can do about it, and in that case there is nothing to worry about. Or there is something we can do about it, and in that case there is also nothing to worry about!
“We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us.” - Joseph Campbell
“Man will enjoy his freedom as soon as he ceases to believe that he needs to free himself, as soon as he throws from his shoulders the terrible duty of salvation...[While doing so he understands that] Satori represents the end of this distress which is at the centre of one’s whole psychic life and in which one’s joys are only truces; is it intelligent to ask me why I strive [in the right way] to obtain this complete and final relief?...And, if my understanding is right, I am not afraid that death may come, today or tomorrow, to interrupt my efforts before their attainment. Since the problem of my suffering ends with me why should I worry myself because I am unable to resolve it?” - Hubert Benoit (229)
Ramana Maharishi to Paul Brunton:
“That is the surest way to handicap oneself, this burdening of one’s mind with the fear of failure and the thought of one’s failings. The greatest error of a man is to think that he is weak by nature...One can and must conquer.” (230)
Ishwar Puri in a talk on his life story offers this anecdote regarding surrender of all worry to the Master, a simple path openly offered and available - but not so easy, as it goes against all that we have learned how to do for many, many years:
"I went to the Great Master [Baba Sawan Singh]. I said, “I heard your discourse today. What about a deal in that marketplace?” He said, “Sure.” I said, “A deal means I give you something; you give me something. It is a transaction. Isn’t that right?” He said, “Exactly.”
"In a marketplace a business deal is you get something and you pay for it in another way, so you give something and you take something. Great Master agreed that is a deal. So I said, “Master, how about I give you all the pain and suffering and worry that I will get in this world, and you give me all the joy and happiness.” I thought he might laugh at it. He said, “Done.”
"From that day, He has kept His word and I have kept mine. What a deal! That such a deal was possible I could not imagine. It worked! Now people say, “We want the deal.” I said, “Sure, anybody can get this deal. Anybody can get the deal.” The difficulty is not in getting the deal. The difficulty is getting to do your own share of the deal. The share of the deal was, “I will give my worry and my problems to you.” People don’t do that. They worry themselves, and then the deal breaks. If you are really ready to give your worry and your problems to the Master, He will take care of it!...There is nothing to be guilty about because the deal is open to all. We have to be ready for it. If we are not ready for the deal, we are not willing to give up our worries and problems and do not have enough faith in a Master, how will you get the deal? The deal requires complete, unshakeable faith that the Master will do everything for you, and He will do everything for you. It’s a question of the level of your faith. If you don’t have faith, ... if you say, 'well, I want to give him the problem but I am not sure if He knows really enough how to handle it,' … then there is no deal!” (231)
PB writes:
"You will have turned over the matter or problem if certain signs appear: first, no more anxiety or fretting about it; second, no more stress or tension over it; third, no more deliberating and thinking concerning it...If he turns his problem over to the Overself in unreserved trust, he must admit no thoughts thereafter of doubt or fear.If they still knock at his door he must respond by remembering his surrender." (232)
Siddharameshawar Mahara spoke very emphatically about the need to surrender worry. He said in fact that if one already worries about oneself, then what necessity is there for the Guru to worry about you?
"No matter what you say or do, only that which is destined to happen will happen. So why should we worry?...Let whatever happens happen, and don't be anxious about anything. Have steadfast conviction that you are the Self. One who worries will never be happy..."
In "The Ghost of Worry" he writes:
"One whose mind is depressed is never free of anxiety as he is suffering from the false notion of being an individual. One whose mind does not utilize discrimination never asks why he should not worry. All people are taking on the veil of anxiety and dying of worry, but they never think why they should not even worry at all. You allow the dog of worry to enter and reach the "shrine Room," the inner sanctum of your own home. Worry is not helpful for anything.The question is, "What should the formless Self worry about?"...The "Bliss of Brahman" is very delicate, very subtle. However, that great Bliss is not possible because of worry."
"The tiger is definitely going to kill you and eat you, no matter what name you may give to it. Then why should you not kill the anxiety that is needlessly created by the name? Destiny is going to play out as it will. Why worry about what will happen in the future?"
"Worry is such that it does not go without your dropping it. Even if you are given great prosperity, still you go on worrying. What can God do about it? What can God do for you if you do not let go of all worry? As you have lost the quality of discrimination, worry is always troubling you. The individual thinks that it is he who does everything, and suffers accordingly."
"The Illusion creates fear for the one who is constantly worrying about what will happen, and how it will happen. Those who worry are going to die anyway. As soon as you project an image of what will happen, worry starts. You start worrying about a thing that is not even existing. Why do you let yourself become unhappy by being anxious about future things? Because you have lost the power of discrimination...All things are possible without feeling the need to worry."
"Only one who releases himself from the clutches of anxiety is fit to possess this "Knowledge of Brahman." It is only he, who can gain this Knowledge...One who completely lets go of worry is the brave man who rides the tiger...However, there you (the individual) are, at the feet of the perishable thing that is worry, and she is burning you without any reason...Let go of anxiety and be happy. Anxiety is poison. Why have that bitter taste in your mouth?..Our own imagination becomes our enemy. You imagine that there is a ghost, and it is demanding everything from you, and then the worry becomes a daily affair. It possesses you, and there it controls you totally. You must let go of Illusion. Never imagine about sorrow. The anxiety has snuck into your mind. Discard it by quiet discrimination, recognizing that it is unnecessary and unessential. Then you are surely happy."
And
"If a man puts his trust in the Sadguru, it is the Sadguru whose heart suffers even if the man is slightly hurt, or even if a hair on his head is touched...He will never quit before giving you the highest place, which is total Self-bliss which is solid and impenetrable...God will never let down those who have surrendered themselves to Him. Therefore, you should have friendship with God." (233)
Ramana Maharshi beautifully said:
“What is meant by liberation? Do the heavenly worlds and heavenly bliss exist somewhere else in the sky? Are they to be experienced in some other world and some other body after leaving this world and this body? The Heart alone is the supreme world. Tranquility, in the form of supreme silence, is alone the supreme bliss or the happiness of liberation. The cessation of all worries is the attainment of the supreme truth. By the state of inner consciousness the great life of supreme bliss can be attained at all times in this very world and in this very body.” (234)
So we are in good hands. As a practical consideration, beyond the obvious polarities, God might be said to be the ultimate Positive, for which there is no negative. In Tibetan Buddhism, Samantabhadra, the sky-blue Buddha representing the Dharmakaya or Ultimate Reality is defined as the "all good," or "good in all circumstances." If such were our personal attitude it would be grand indeed. Watch how many times we say “no,’ and then instead simply say “YES!” Or "Fiat!", "Thy will be done.” Such was the advice of St. Francis de Sales. It is still good.
And the other sprite -“HURRY”? While the human birth remains precious, and ‘time and tide wait for no man,' are no doubt true assertions, they are only half-truth. Swami Satchidananda makes an important point:
“When I began to learn the English language, I noticed that everything related to time was tense: ’Past - tense...future - tense...present - tense.’ It made me wonder if I wanted to be on time - it seems that every time in your culture is tense!” (235)
"HURRY: 16th c. - commotion or agitation, physical, social, or political; disturbance, tumult; a confused crowd, a mob." (Oxford English Dictionary)
To hurry, as opposed to 'make haste from a basis of thoughtful deliberation', is to take on the above confused qualities. The 'two sprites' might be seen as the opposite of the practices of calm-abidance (samatha) and insight (vipassana). When we worry, we lose access to insight; when we hurry, we are not calm-abiding.
This is not meant as a heavy moral imperative. We will do it as long as we do it. There is no guilt or shame. It is human nature. But it bears pointing out, as it is symptomatic of our sense of bondage, the tension that is ‘choking us to death’.
The world is simply too much with us. Here are a few things some others have had to say on this subject:
“When you're in a hurry, take the long way around.” - Japanese proverb
"Hasten slowly and you will soon arrive." - Milarepa
“Only those who take leisurely what the people of the world are busy about can be busy about what the people of the world take leisurely.” - Chang Chao
"Time is love." - anonymous
"Compassion is the real essence of religion..I myself feel and also tell other Buddhists that the question of nirvana will come later. There is not much hurry. But if in day to day life you lead a good life, honestly with love, with compassion, with little selfishness: then automatically it will lead to nirvana." - H.H. the XIVth Dalai Lama (236)
All paths as well as Masters seem to have essentially two stages and/or messages. One, time is precious, and we have work to do, and, two, that very disposition is a stumbling block to realization. One may have to try hard in the beginning, but then stop seeking for liberation. It is an inevitable paradox, given our human condition. Yet, even when in the ‘striving’ mode, one can still not ‘hurry’ or ‘worry’; it is possible and necessary to have peace while yet on the road to perfection.
Pascal wrote:
"Thou wouldst not seek Me if thou didst not possess Me. Be not therefore anxious." (Le Mysteri de Jesus)
As Rumi said:
"What you seek is seeking you, and when you seek that love, the King of Hearts has already found you."
These are ways of saying, for one, that it is necessary to love oneself, in order to love others. This, too, of course, is a paradox. The aspect of 'trying' in either case will fail, which in itself will lead to success! Nevertheless, the application of such self-love is not negative ego, but a negation of negative ego, which likes to hide behind a wall of denial and inferiority. Perhaps for those in the West, this is more important than the great battle or struggle with ego that the traditions are always talking about. I say, let it live, let it achieve, don’t harm it too much. Let it come out of hiding. Become unique. This is not to be naive, but rather, to be the divine expression. You are anyway. Know the fallible human person to be Atman as well. It’ll make things easier in the long run. Alan Cohen writes:
"The universe does not reward us before we act. Life can teach us only when we are bold enough to venture into uncharted territory. healing always occurs outside the "safe" zone. Real learning comes when we try something we have never done before. You cannot know the result until you do it. Our ego wants guarantees, warranties, and promises of success before we even step onto the stage of life. But few great actors have been assured of acclaim for any role before they played it." (237)
And:
"There is a divine form of pretense that God just loves. It is to pretend that you are great. To act as if you are worthy of all of your good. To claim the authority of one who is born of royalty. To honor your passions and deeds as if you love yourself. To forge ahead with the confidence that nothing is impossible...Step beyond the gate of fear and you will hear a comforting bell echo in the temple of your heart. It is said that "the Spirit within us loves to hear the truth about itself." To behold our life through the eyes of God is to see ourselves as we are."
But:
"Be careful of the role you take on, because you may become what you lead other people to believe you are" [for better or worse]. (238)
This is simple but powerful, practical advice which, when taken imaginatively and not through the lens of an exacting metaphysics, can work wonders.
PB writes similarly on one of the central messages of the philosophic quest:
”Its practical application is: act as the Long Path requires by working on and improving the self, but think as the Short Path enjoins by holding the attitude, "There is nothing to be attained. Realization is already here and now!" (239)
[For background on the “Long and Short Paths”, mentioned earlier, also see "The Long and Short of It" at http://www.mountainrunnerdoc.com/page/page/5333996.htm]
He further adds:
“On the Short Path he becomes aware of the fact of forgiveness. He leaves out the constant self-criticism and self-belittling, the painstaking self-improvement practices, of the other Path, and begins to take full note of this saving fact.”
“There is no wish on the Short Path to be better than he is, no desire to improve his character or purify his mind, no sense of being obligated to rectify the distortions brought about by the ego in both thought and feeling.”
“You are in the Overself’s hands even now and if the fundamental aspiration is present, your development will go on without your having to be anxious about it. Let the burden go. Do not become a victim of too much suggestion got from reading too much spiritual literature creating an artificial conception of enlightenment.”
“Once we become conscious of this truth the scales fall from our eyes. We give up our bondage to the erroneous belief in limitation. We refuse to entertain the false thought that there is some lofty conclusion to be attained in the far future. We are resolute that the Self shall recognize itself now.”
“It was said in Palestine that those who seek shall find. But it was also said in India that those who do not seek shall find.”
“The sense of time’s pressure which spurs the Long Path follower disappears from the Short Path follower. He becomes carefree of time and squanders it shamelessly, as if he has INFINITE LEISURE.” (240)
This is the ideal, of course. Too much struggle only keeps us back. Love speed is no speed. The Masters do the same. They work tirelessly in constant motion, yet as if without a care in the world. Dedication, striving, commitment, yes; worry, hurry, no.
Note: If you boil an egg too long, what happens? Just so with any formulaic analogies and advice. There are, for instance, times when to hurry is very appropriate. Being satvic (harmonious) is an ideal, but when tamas (dullness) prevails, rajas (energy, action) is often the remedy. "Bring the body and the mind will follow" is a common saying these days. Spiritual seekers, especially beginners, often need a reminder of this quality which they tend to minimize. It is one reason the Buddhists often incorporate walking meditation along with periods of sitting. It may also be one reason Sant Rajinder SIngh has said that seva is as important as meditation. Sawan Singh many years earlier said the same thing, as did Guru Nanak before him. Man in this dimension is a tripartite being of head, heart, and hand. He is not meant to just sit in a corner like a turnip and germinate. At least, not all the time.
"Don’t worry, be happy”…Sounds too simple? They’ll be time enough for tears - oceans of them - the advice is: don’t worry about that either. Let it be. Let it be
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Cultic speech, behavior, and mind-set: an essential consideration for those any spiritual path; In almost every person, every religion, every group, every teaching, and every teacher, there are ideas, beliefs, and assumptions, which are overtly or covertly not open to question; “Unless you follow me you will go to hell,” “without my practices you will never purify your karma,” “our church is the only way you can repent for your sins,” “my teachings are the one true way to obtain enlightenment; Spirituality is a science, don’t tell your experiences to others, you don’t have to leave your religion, etc. ; Groupthink
“A wise man is one who savors all things as they really are.” - Bernard of Clairvaux
This is a bold title, but by way of a preliminary, it is suggested that any spiritual organization might consider instituting an introductory course in cultic mind-set and behavior if it is to be conducive to a spirit of tolerance between other schools and itself. What’s to be afraid of? And perhaps the reading of Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds by Charles Mackay, in print since 1841! Our dear friend Richard Handel who died in a head-on collision with a truck and whom Master Rajinder said was in Sach Khand now, himself matter-of-factly said “Sant Mat is a cult. But a good cult." He wasn’t shy of saying things as he saw them. Our Master Kirpal liked that attitude. So often things are repeatedly uttered that come not from a person's direct experience, but from an ingrained belief system. "Our master is Perfect" (how do you know?), or "our path is the highest" (again, from where comes this knowledge - do you fully understand the other path such that you can say that?). It may be true, and at some point the observant and sincere disciple will be graced to see in many ways how their Master is in fact all that they hope that He is and more. But we should not go around saying such high things if we have not realized them for ourselves, and even then in a circumspect manner. I saw a video on Eastern religious movements by a Christian evangelical movement some years back. In one scene I was surprised to see Master Darshan Singh walking around for a few minutes. The film crew zoomed in on a disciple who looked like one in charge, and he said into the camera, "I don't know what you people realize, but you've just seen God." That kind of thing gives me an uneasy feeling. While it is true that beholding a realized Master in his inner glory may be as close as an average person gets to ‘seeing God’, the person who made that statement hadn’t experienced that, and we should only speak of what we know, when appropriate. Furthermore, his statement was no doubt full of misconceptions and exaggerations about what a Master is or is not. This situation, fortunately, is not entirely inevitable. The recommendation for the above-mentioned study would help in this direction. And while being an example of a rather simplistic cult, far removed from a path such as Sant Mat, the movie "Ticket to Heaven” (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UoavV7D74BU) is interesting viewing for the long-time member of any spiritual group, in light of the psychology it portrays.
Too often the following are true:
"The religio-mystical mind easily falls into cults or personality idealization and worship. The philosophic mind rises to a higher level and emphasizes the importance of Principles. For persons are ephemeral whereas principles are enduring. The cultists attribute to the worshipped one all sorts of godlike qualities, especially omniscience and omnipotence.”
“To become a disciple is to become an enthusiast, one who exaggerates, distorts, or overlooks the real facts. He will grossly misrepresent the true state of affairs because his guide is no longer reason but emotion.”
"Just as they shamefully caricature the true Infinite Being by their personified and symbolized idea of It, so they shamefully falsify the true characteristics of a Master by their exaggerated and sentimentalized idea of him.”
“Just as the Renaissance brought forward brilliant minds and talents in scattered places, so we see today spiritual geniuses rising here and there. The followers of some lose their balance, get swollen with pride, and talk proudly that the avatar is here, each claiming his own leader as the avatar. Let us not be taken in by such sectarianism.” (241)
Try as one may, he cannot ignore the simple fact that many silly things are often repeated, and which the path would do just fine, and much better, without. Many different traditions face this problem, whereby some adept wrote or said something at one point which became incorporated in the doctrine and then gets, with all good intentions, repeated forever as if it were the eternal truth. Even when the Masters, deep within their being and higher understanding, know some parts of the teaching are not really or entirely true, but give out provisional teachings for expediency, or simply have not yet articulated or re-articulated the teaching in keeping with the times. One safeguard of the student is a mature appreciation of what the guru is, his function, and the nature of a mature relationship between student and teacher. Sant Mat is not immune to the charge of cultism that affects almost all large groups. In some cases the teacher plays into this weakness, not from bad intentions, but out of catering to unreasonable expectations of disciples, which unfortunately have accompanied the path for scores of years. A true Guru-disciple relationship, when authentic and established, can be a beautiful thing, but, prior to its maturity, childish, fawning adulation of and attention to a Master, working one into a self-hypnotic state of awe, runs a fine line between being perhaps somewhat inevitable and excusable, and being unnecessary, ungenuine, and having little to do with truth. We simply must be ourselves, be honest, and recognize what we know and what we do not know. A proper attitude towards the Master is one of respect, and reverence - when it naturally arises from assurance born in the heart - but not one of servile dependency.
The same goes for placing a guru on a pedestal of ultimate authority by abandoning full self-responsibility for one's reactions, beliefs and understanding, a set-up for a fall into disappointment and disillusionment. Have basic respect, and prove the teachings for yourself. And there is no way one can do this in a few short weeks or months before he is initiated, as mentioned above, for a number of reasons, the key one being that one is immature, and must be seasoned, with his intelligence developed over much time. This is where contemplation of truth and broad study comes into play. While doubts that are not the outcome of a proper investigation are unhealthy, doubts that arise in the course of such an investigation are healthy, arising to be cleared and lead to further knowledge.
We suggest, speak not what you think you are supposed to say, but what is your own truth - whatever it is. Cultivate an open mind. Learn to communicate with your true self within, and then express it outwardly. Demand truth, from yourself and the Teacher, and it shall be forthcoming. Yes, we are trying to say, gingerly, that the path must adapt to an emerging current of spirituality. Some one must say this openly. Many are already doing so in private. Is this not so? A few more salient points.
Anyone reading a book, or studying a spiritual or philosophical teaching, should question it fully and then put it to the test in their life. This is not a 'one-shot' affair, but an ongoing clarifying of one's consciousness as new insights, points of view, and perspectives arise in due course. This may seem a simple matter, but the truth is that many try to make their life and being fit into a structured teaching, and interpret any new understanding in the pre-fabricated mold of expectancy created by that teaching. This is really a denial of the divine in you. And the plain fact is that one is not mature enough or intelligent enough, to anticipate all of the questions and doubts that may appear as one goes on in his life of practice or development. Major shifts and accompanying questions. A teaching must be big enough to embrace and welcome these, as should the teacher or Guru.
To lessen the cultic tendency in a school, a few principles must be accepted and permitted. There should be no restrictions on being free to expose oneself to other doctrines and beliefs. There should be no fear of welcoming comparisons with ones chosen path, both before and after initiation (since there is almost no way of knowing beforehand all the questions that may later arise). One must be able to ask anything, however challenging, without fear of jeopardizing ones relationship with his teacher or fellow disciples. Basic principles of rationality, non-dogmatism, ecumenicity, diversity, non-competitiveness, and freedom of investigation must be accepted.
Freedom to explore and experiment is a key safeguard. Here is one way things may devolve. In most spiritual groups, unless the leader is quite talented, it’s simply not feasible for them to keep an eye on every student and continually intervene. Once leaders become (consciously or unconsciously) affixed to the role of the leader who receives the adulation of their flock, they naturally want to maintain it. Likewise, teachers (especially those who are not that advanced) will inevitably run out of material to teach their students, and at this junction, those who have become addicted to maintaining their position will switch from providing their students with value to manipulating their students to stay with them. This is why similar lines are seen again and again when more conscious students begin to recognize their teacher has nothing to offer them and begin to drift away to new teachers (e.g., “unless you follow me you will go to hell,” “without my practices you will never purify your karma,” “our church is the only way you can repent for your sins,” “my teachings are the one true way to obtain enlightenment; anything else is a fraud,” “I am offering you a direct connection to god and the infinite,” “fate has brought you here; if you squander this opportunity, it will be thousands of lifetimes before you get another chance to wake up” etc).
Keeping in mind all the above, as well as the recognition that we are not singling out any Guru or sangat for less than good intentions (although we are warned that is often what the road to hell is paved with), the following often-repeated statements might well be contemplated from the perspective of the three levels of self-understanding according to Dzogchen as earlier mentioned by Norbu. Many more could have been chosen, some perhaps not as relatively harmless as these, but then even these can lead to confusion and misunderstanding. Clear articulation and precision words is very important, as ultimately it affects our cultivation, realization, and expression of truth.
"Spirituality is a Science."
Is this true? This is always a first question. The great mystics, Eastern and Western, have always said it is, but let us then consider how and in what manner it is so. The way this is received may depend on one's perspective. We are not saying that it is wrong to say this, but it is important to try to make clear what it does mean, because many may misunderstand or have preconceived notions of what “science” is or means in this context and get disappointed otherwise. As suggested, this metaphor has been used by mystics, such as of the Orthodox Christian tradition, for centuries. As in empirical science, where one makes observations and experiments that repeatedly prove its axioms, here, too, one makes experiments which have been duplicated and verified by other mystics time and again. One also tries many things and finds out what works and is true. Not necessarily in every moment, but over time. And also not merely in terms of getting inner experiences, but, more importantly, in the basic transformation of the person. Which includes the healing of his estrangement and opposition to the Divine. This, in fact, is why the Orthodox Church defines spirituality as not philosophy or religion, but as really closer to medicine. And the gurus of India often speak of their disciples being in a 'hospital' (at least, mine did, and Ramakrishna and others have also). So inasmuch as medicine is a science, so is spirituality a science. The problem comes when one assumes, based on what he may have been told, that this is a linear 'cookie-cutter' process, and when one expects proof to suit ones preconceptions. There are many moments of confirmation, and there are, in truth (which is a spiritual axiom or article of faith) no accidents, no miracles, no mistakes, but rather a gradual, natural unfoldment. However, the variables are as unlimited as the number of individuals pursuing the result. Moreover, there is increasingly a strong component of 'not-knowing' as one progresses deeper into the heart of the Mystery. The path is as wonderful as it is terrible at times. The uncertainty principle is alive and well in the land of effort and grace as much as it is in quantum physics. The end-result is clear, but the exact timing is not. Nor are even the intervening stages. So let us discuss a few points to broaden the appreciation of this 'science'.
Professor David Lane issued a bold statement:
“If Radhasoami really wants to be a science then it has to do that which it has failed to accomplish so far: be willing to be wrong.”
In science, any theory must be capable of being disproven or it is not to be considered valid. This doesn't mean that it must be proven invalid, but there must be tests which if unpassed would invalidate it. Many consider the theories about man-made climate change, for instance, to be in this category, inasmuch as 95% and more of the grant money and media coverage only go to those who support such theories, any attempts to disprove the governing narratives are summarily rejected. Both extreme heat and extreme cold, both droughts and floods, are looked upon as proving global warming. Whether one believes in it or not, the theory cannot be disproven in the public arena. Similarly, if the claims of a religious group or school do not welcome input or criticism from outside, then the value of their own theories and beliefs are lessened. Further, if both experiences in meditation or the lack of them are both used to prove the truth of the system, then there is a problem: i.e., either you are advancing properly, or it is your fault that you are just not receptive. In either case the meaning of one's experience is not considered, and a legitimate comparison with other schools is not possible. In Sant Mat, almost every criticism of other religious systems is often viewed from the perspective of Sant Mat model, instead of on its own merits. Thus, the average writer from within the school often do not know what they are talking about when they comment on other schools. Some of the founding gurus have done this, too, using ancient terms like Brahman and reinterpreting them to fit into their particular philosophical model, as we have seen in Part One. The average seeker doesn't have a chance at determining if what they say is right or even if in accord with reason. Questioning within one's chosen path is usually discouraged, which, of course, is a problem with any religion or cult.
As George Orwell stated, "If you want to know who rules over you, look at who you are not allowed to criticize.”
In a science, ideally (when the inertia of ignorance or the incentive for economic advantage is not there), there is a constant adjustment to new knowledge and wisdom. Important questions are welcomed and pursued in a spirit of free inquiry, and not dismissed or discouraged as an 'illusion' or distraction of the mind. A hallmark of science is that conclusions get tested by observations. Carl Sagan wrote:
"Science is generated by and devoted to free inquiry: the idea that any hypothesis, no matter how strange, deserves to be considered on its merits. The suppression of uncomfortable ideas may be common in religion and politics, but it is not the path to knowledge; it has no place in the endeavor of science." (242)
J. Robert Oppenheimer said:
“There is no place for dogma in science. The scientist is free, and must be free to ask any question, to doubt any assertion, to seek for any evidence, to correct any errors."
PB similarly wrote:
"A school should exist not only to teach but also to investigate, not to formulate prematurely a finalized system but to remain creative, to go on testing theories by applying them and validating ideas by experience." (243)
Thomas Kuhn, in The Structure of Scientific Revolutions, said that
“The price of significant scientific advance is a commitment that runs the risk of being wrong.”
and:
“…breakthroughs often come from outsiders or newcomers rather than practitioners of a scientific discipline, because the very act of accepting and assimilating the dominant model that defined that discipline constrains the ability to see the limitations of the model and increases the risk that practitioners will force the data to fit the model.” (244)
This can mean that if one has practiced certain methods for years and gets no results, then either the claims made are not justified, or the system or teaching is at fault, for not being broad enough to encompass the totality of one’s experience. In such a case, where one has given it a fair try and gets no ostensible results, Ishwar Puri says one should feel free to go to other Masters. My personal opinion is that not only that, but even if one does get results he should feel free to go to other Masters to learn what one particular Master may not be able to provide for him, or just to ‘compare notes’ in a spirit of inquiry. There should be total freedom with no guilt or pressure coming into the picture.
There is also the matter of whether one considers science as limited to a linear Newtonian model or a quantum model with an 'uncertainty principle' inherent in it! When dealing with the subjective side of the being the latter may come into play more often.
Another researcher has described science as consisting of ”unbiased observations and systematic experimentation." It has been said, moreover, that in all of nature the fields that are plowed and fenced are fertile only for a brief time - without new enrichment. This may well pertain to spiritual dharmas as well.The essential verities may be everlasting, but the expressions and practical considerations undergo change in line with the parallel mental evolution of humanity. Masters will make room to adapt their teachings for the variations among their students’ understanding and levels of development.
On the seeker's side, he generally wants a set of rules to follow that lead to illumination, but is this not, in a sense, a confession that God is not God, Reality is not real, the Absolute is not absolute, the Infinite is not infinite, with infinite possibilities, universal, free and unbound? Are we separate from the Truth? Certainly, one may not realize that yet, but is there a standardized 'scientific' way to assure one the result of a successful climb? We, unlike some, grant that there is a climb, even while the mountain is only apparent - the climb is perhaps more aptly described as an unfoldment of Truth than a climb - but is there a guaranteed road to travel by, with every step marked out ahead in advance? Sant Mat sometimes appears to teach there is, that all the planes are objective and experienced the same way by all seekers, but is this true? If in truth, ultimately you are the path, or not separate from the path, and not merely the one walking it, is there an objective 'science' in all that? This is possibly a potential misconception, sometimes conveyed with good intentions, no doubt, by teachers of Sant Mat, whether marketed as Science of the Soul, or Science of Spirituality. It is not wrong. But we may have to take a 'quantum' view of science to make it fit. Or at least one of experimentation with many apparent failures until one succeeds or discovers a new or deeper aspect of truth. Yes, there are well-delineated meditation stages, more or less, and yes, the grace of the Master can make up for much of the difficulties and unpredictability of forward progress on the path. But in the 'quantum' view, for instance, there is not only the relative unpredictability of its results (i.e., the goal has been said by some to be fixed, but the time frame is not), but also the need to consider the influence of the participant, i.e., the experiencer, or consciousness, in the 'experiment'. This makes for infinite variety of sequential results. And as one loses himself (that is, his fixed ego identity) by degrees the more he finds the true Self, the paradoxes of progress are inevitable. Can one really speak of 'my attainment' in the so-called higher stages? Further, even given an initial experience of opening of the 'third eye' - which is not universally the case, or even promised, in every branch of Sant Mat (245) - there are many twists and turns, ups and downs, and karmic vicissitudes along the way through which the student must wade with much patience and endurance. This is not always made clear to the novitiate, up front. Perhaps it can't be. [As we have seen earlier, however, in quotations from Sant Darshan Singh, it is not as if it is entirely hidden from the serious student either].
A not often appreciated point of fact in Sant Mat is that, as Sawan Singh said
"After due initiation, the redemption of the devotee is assured. No failure or back sliding is possible. He is first put through a course of experiences which enables him to realize his own helplessness. When he realizes this he will also feel the assurance of salvation." (246)
That is to say, the process of eradicating or winding up his karmas has begun. And this can be a very unpredictable and bewildering process, where the disciple may in fact have a hard time appreciating the notion of the path as a "science" with verifiable results! But this is only due to his limited understanding of what constitutes real progress. Soamiji shouts:
"O Guru! Now shower Your grace and vouchsafe Your help and succor to me. I am afflicted with physical ailments and mental agonies. I have been through terrible suffering. I am Now utterly helpless. All my efforts have failed." (247)
One may well ask, where in all this does a poor disciple find himself? Especially if there may also be years when mostly the dark side of his unpurified character comes up for release. If one is then enchained in a certain way, predisposed to one way of looking at thing, he may suffer thinking that something is wrong, when in fact it may be very right. This is a situation, therefore, where some study and understanding may be critical for survival.
There is one particular exception, however, to this depiction of a rather circumscribed scope of what a 'science' may be. And here one will see, after all, that in the end we are in agreement with the Masters. For the use of this term is not a new one. In the annals of mysticism there is mention of a 'pure science', or an 'upper school', for those who are passing or who have passed beyond a linear conception of the path into that of a 'predictable unpredictability': i.e., the dimension of the soul, and not that of the finite human ego with its ambitious hopes and dreams, and a set of rules and procedures promising to lead it to its Perfection. Without proper understanding - and unfortunately or not, for many, even with such understanding - a 'dark night' period my be needed to intervene to produce the required recognition and surrender. So perhaps we must not fault the path so much as request a more complete explanation, where possible, of its actual processes. And the 'uncertainty' within such an experimental subjective science is, in fact, rectified by the ultimate certainty of the factor of grace.
Michael Molinos wrote:
"But there is also a science of the saints. This science is known only to those who heartily love and who seek the end of their self-nature." (248)
deCaussade also spoke of a science:
“The doctrine concerning pure love can only be taught by the action of God, and not by any effect of the mind. God teaches the soul by pains and obstacles, not by ideas. This science is a practical knowledge by which God is enjoyed as the only good. In order to master this science it is necessary to be detached from all personal possessions, to gain this detachment, to be really deprived of them. Therefore, it is only by constant crosses, and by a long succession of all kinds of mortifications, trials, and deprivations, that pure love becomes established in the soul.”
“[There are] numerous texts of holy Scripture in which the Holy Spirit makes us understand the necessity of temptation, and the good fruit derived from it by souls who do not allow themselves to become disheartened. Do you not know that it has been compared to a furnace in which clay acquired hardness, and gold is made brilliant; that it has been put before us as a subject of rejoicing, and a sign of the friendship of God, an indispensable lesson for the acquirement of the science of the saints.” (249)
St. John of the Cross also used the word science when speaking of what he called infused contemplation, in which God teaches the soul without its doing anything at all:
St. John also points out that “this ladder of love is so secret that God alone is He that measures and weighs it.” It is not only secret to the soul but at times even hides the soul within itself wherein it knows not. So much, then, for the disciple, especially a beginning disciple, trying to gauge his own progress as if it was some kind of neat and clean cookie-cutter affair. ”Do you perchance know the paths of the great clouds or the perfect sciences?” (Job 37:16)
More lyrically he writes:
"He held me to his chest and taught me a sweet science. I gave my soul to him and all the things...Oh, night that guided me. Oh, night more lovely than the dawn. Oh, night that joined Beloved with lover, lover transformed in the Beloved." (250)
So perhaps here is the understanding to settle the legitimacy over the use of the word 'science.' All of the ups and downs and paradoxes involved in such a quest are to be considered included in such a science. Are we interested in that? Is there really a choice? It remains what it is. However, this definition would preclude any exclusivity.
In the Autobiography of St. Therese of Lisieux mention is also made of this science:
“Our Lord has no need of books or teachers to instruct our souls. He, the Teacher of Teachers, instructs us without any noise of words. I have never heard Him speak, yet I know He is within me. He is there, always guiding and inspiring me; and just when I need them, lights, hitherto unseen, break in. This is not as a rule during my prayers, but in the midst of my daily duties. Sometimes, however, as this evening, at the close of a meditation spent in utter dryness, a word of comfort is given to me: “Here is the Master I give thee, He will teach thee all that thou should do. I wish thee to read in the Book of Life in which is contained the science of love…” The Science of Love! How sweetly do these words echo in my soul! That science alone do I desire. Having given all my substance for it, like the Spouse in the Canticles, “I think that I have given nothing.” (Song of Solomon 8:7). After so many graces, may I not sing with the Psalmist that “the Lord is good, that His Mercy endures for ever” ? (Psalms 106:1). (251)
Swami Vivekananda said:
"The Science of God is the grandest of all Sciences." (252)
Finally, Rumi gives his view on this:
“This, this is the essence of all sciences - that you should know who you are when the Day of Reckoning arrives.” (Mathnawi) (253)
One possible negative implication in calling an organization a 'Science', without the aforementioned clarifications, is the tendency for members to think that other schools are not a science, and therefore inferior. Whereas, truly, most of us have no idea whatsoever if that is the case. How much better might it be to simply affirm, for instance, with Faqir Chand, "This may not be the only genuine path, but it is a real path, an ancient path which many have found helpful."
An effective teaching like a science can be expanded, changed, corrected, and improved. Why so if absolute truth never changes? Precisely because conditions in relativity do change. Communication and dissemination of knowledge changes.The intellectual and psychological maturity of humanity changes, as it progresses from lower to higher stages of understanding. Therefore what works in one epoch does not suit another. For example, in primitive times truth was communicated, and was easiest understood, through parables, myths, allegories, and personifications; in our times straightforward statements and scientific precision are needed to convey the same truth. Kal, Dharam Raj, etc., might be examples where a new explanation might be warranted as better serving truth.
What are some other characteristics of a science, or rather, the scientific method per se? Here are a few: observe, analyze, inquire, test, verify, revise. Try and try again and again, experiment until you find what works. Are the facts reported communicable and verifiable? Are they non-contradictory and in fact, non-contradictable? And are they universal, or true for all time? And most fundamentally, are ones premises sound and valid? For if the are not, the whole enterprise collapses.
"'Never look at facts.' This is characteristic equally of the insane as of the religious. Every awkward inconvenient fact hostile to his belief will be regarded by the devotee as a test of his faith or his devotion and dismissed. Therefore the scientific approach based on solid facts is the sole and essential way...If religious faith and mystic yoga alone are to be practiced then God wants you to be a fool. Why then did he give you intelligence?" - V.S. Iyer (254)
Or, as Chester A Riley (actor William Bendix in the 1950's TV show, The Life of Riley) once said,
"My mind is made up - don't confuse me with the facts!"
"Not just a science"
Sant Kirpal Singh may in fact have anticipated some of these problems when he referred to the path not only as a science, but as "the science and art of spirituality."
"In order to derive full benefit from Para Vidya, it is absolutely necessary to have the guidance of a living Master, or an adept both in the science and art of spirituality." (255)
Sant Darshan Singh also said this:
“Whereas spirituality on the one hand can be called a perfect science, paradoxically enough, on the other hand, it can be called the most perfect art. It is the art of igniting the divine fire within…” (256)
That helps to dispose of certain misconceptions among those may have been led to expect rapid, unreasonable, or even predictable results. An art takes time to develop and is also not a linear or "cookie-cutter" process. The latter would be more like a construction or engineering project than science. One might then perhaps more accurately describe the path as "the artful application of an experimental or experiential science."
As detailed earlier in “SCRUBBING”, it might be more accurate to describe much of the path not so much as a science, but rather as a subset of science, namely, “medicine”, where we are healed of many hidden ills by our divine Physician. Indeed, this is how the Orthodox Fathers looked at it. That way we may avoid many illusions and exaggerated extract expectations about the process, and more readily concentrate on the essentials of the heart.
In my field of chiropractic, we expand this to speak of a "science, art, and philosophy." For in philosophy lies the particular logical proofs accepted in a system, which may be different from those of other systems. And here we then introduce the concept of jnana or understanding, particularly of the inherent mysteries and paradoxes on the path which often baffle the beginner and advanced disciple as well - yet are not always articulated adequately (although of course not perfectly) on devotional paths such as this one.
Here is one example - that likely many share - how one long-time but frustrated devotee described what a “science”means to him:
“By science (which yes is constantly evolving) I mean impersonal, understandable and repeatable, without the agency or magic or hidden mystery from the reserved few that are authorized! My earlier understanding was clouded by my assumptions and misunderstandings of the concepts from the Eastern perspectives. For example, what does it mean to have a Guru/ best friend, and how does love between the two develop? Best friends requires (for Westerners anyway) a lot of personal contact and shared experiences, with the teacher and among fellow students (yet we aren’t supposed to share our experiences!)"
“If you love me, keep my commandments” is a heavy guilt trip for Westerners."
"I now believe that every concept we have accepted as magical and mysterious has a rational, scientific basis. This information is rapidly being revealed on the conscious level in many different areas of human activities, such as neurological science, biology, quantum physics, etc.. This is all truly amazing, but understandable and repeatable, without the mystery of waiting helplessly for a glance (or pat) of grace for good boys and girls."
"It is all grace, is also true, because we are coming from a dark, deluded awareness at the opening bell! The challenges to release what we think we are and what we think we have are of course similar and require courage. But who can let go without a helping hand being offered in ways we can be aware of? Like the child learning to walk from one parent to the other."
"The drama in spirituality, especially today in Sant Mat sects, gives me stomach pains and the feeling to stand up and scream, “Please cut it out and just be normal!"
My reply was:
“I am sure you are not alone in many of your feelings. Actually, you could stand up and scream: “I’m mad as hell, and I’m not going to take it anymore!” But seriously, in regards to your statements about the repeatability of results, I found that a lot of the Christian mystics also used the word science. The physical science in their day was rather primitive by our modern standards, but in spiritual matters they would also include dark nights of the soul and intense purification as part of the science, and not give the impression that both ‘SOS’ groups can often give that as a science it is just a matter of a simple repeatable technical process! Which of course is not how the traditional saints including Soamiji or Sawan Singh have portrayed it. So I would put big quotes around the word “repeatable”. This “science” is a very individualized affair. Just as they recognize biological individuality so must they recognize spiritual individuality. And there is a lot of trial and error in science. If that is understood and taught in a comprehensive way then maybe a lot of people might not be so disappointed why it doesn’t seem so readily “repeatable” for them, and have to stuff their feelings and just be told to wait indefinitely for the promises to materialize. I hope my book will help with that problem at least a little bit.“
To which his reply was:
“Agreed and also, I now better understand the purpose of your book!”
Here are a few more slogans which, while in a highest perspective are true enough, are often repeated and accepted uncritically or in a dogmatic fashion. The point in all of this is that we need to understand many things from different points of view to represent the teachings in an approachable and balanced way, otherwise people may not only be turned away [I prefer this to saying they “weren't ready” or “weren't called”], but also suffer unnecessary disappointment and disillusionment as the years pass.
"The Master gives you the diary."
Is this true? In the most general sense, in the lineage that uses a diary, and where “the diary form is overhead," as Kirpal once said, and the Master's regard is upon it, in that sense, yes, it can be looked at by the devotee as a gift in the form of grace. We do not mean to be unnecessarily cynical. Otherwise, however, the Master does not personally 'give you the diary'. The diary form is a sheet of paper that has been zeroxed and now photocopied for fifty years, and anyone can hand it out and tell you how, using negative marking, to check off the categories and turn it in once a year for review by the Master. But the latter is impossible and impractical to do anymore, and is not asked for, the Master simply has too much to do, so the disciple is more or less on his or her own in extracting the benefit of its use or not and must generate self-understanding much on their own. Why not say, "here is something that has worked in the past, you can try and see if it works for you, and if not, sincerely devise and stick to your own honest self-introspection process?” Surely that is more meaningful as far as leading one to a reliable spiritual self-independence, for any specific practical aid such as a diary with fixed columns to check off ones ethical failures is stage-specific and eventually, sooner or later, will be superseded once the self-introspective attitude is matured. It is not meant to be done the same way for decades. This is not a matter of being ones own guru. At some point the attitude of a beginner is moved beyond, and it may simply not serve one anymore. This is something one must discern and decide for himself. This important topic has been discriminatively examined in great depth earlier. The point here is only to highlight the languaging used.
"The Master gives you seva."
This, too, needs some elaboration. Seva has been traditionally been considered a great form of special grace, that is, the call to work directly for a Master's cause. And it still can be. Unless one is led to think that the only route to heaven is to be involved with missionary work for a cause, however, which often puts the cart before the horse if one has not really proven to his or her satisfaction that the path is indeed the highest, or that one is worthy of or called to such service, then it should be acknowledged that seva or service comes in variegated forms, as numerous as the number of disciples. No one should be persuaded that his own unique life is separate from the Master's cause, or that he should feel obligated to work for the latter directly, from the outset of his personal sadhana. Even in the teaching it is said that “only from rare karma is one blessed to directly serve the master's work.” Yet many no doubt feel their capacity is therefore rather limited. This is not so, for everyone's unique dharma is also their form of service. As well as in any moment being alert to render help when the opportunity presents itself. And most especially, but often overlooked, is that a primary form of service to the world is simply to wish it well, to send out prayers for its good. We are not all called to be busy beavers, always doing something, for
“God does not need either man’s work or his own gifts; who best bear his mild yoke, they serve him best. His high state is kingly, thousands at his bidding speed and post o’er land and ocean without rest. They also serve who only stand and wait.” - John Donne, “On his blindness”
Expressing gratitude, too, is major seva, yet how often do we do it? In the subjective world we live in this has omnipresent implications and results. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:16-18)
My Master, Sant Kirpal Singh, near the end of his life, ailing, was once asked by some of his devotees if they were bothering Him and if it were better if they left him alone. He replied, “No, you are my solace.” Just imagine, the gratitude to feel worthy of being able to offer any service to another.
Seva is not a limited vision of just doing as many special jobs as one can for ones master or teacher, often at the expense of necessary service that is present as the duties, inherent challenges, and dharma of ones ordinary life. Let’s face it, these days our lives are full and difficult. If one has children and a demanding profession, there will be limits to the forms of special service one can do, but it is a wrong attitude to assume one is not capable of service in everything one has to do! Approached rightly it is all seva and basically an attitude of karma yoga where one does the appropriate and necessary actions, seeing God in everything and also leaving the results to God. Ram Das put it this way:
“Karma Yoga really has that you serve others as a way of serving God. You serve others as a way of putting flowers at the feet of God, of honoring God. And you do seva or service as a technique of doing that. Once you are starting to awaken, you look around for practices to purify and to help you awaken. And most people see meditation clearly as a practice, because meditation doesn’t get anything else done, so it must be getting you enlightened. It’s a clear, simple yoga. And you say, “Well, I do yoga, and I do my meditation and then I go to work or then I live life. Or then I’m going to do good.” Or something like that. Karma Yoga is the taking of the things you do every day with other people, of service, things like that, and making those all into an offering. And so it’s an attitude that one has. It’s an attitude of offering…And what is the relation of the service you do or the task you do, and what is the relation of that to your coming to God.” (257)
The important thing, he says, is what is the relationship of what we do in an attitude of service and our connection to God or Truth? If we think of it as scoring points, we are well off the mark. There is no special magic in doing organizational work. Kirpal Singh once chastised me for doing “selfless service” in the ashram mailroom, saying “how can you help others if you can’t help yourself?!” So Gurinder Singh did have a point when his so-called “2.0” teachings came out a decade ago and he said:
“The Master does not give you seva and, further, there is no karmic benefit whatsoever from doing seva.”
The first part of this statement is ironic, in that plenty of seva goes on under the auspices of the Gurus in these organizations. Perhaps the second half may have gone too far and thus been misinterpreted, in which case it would be just as off the mark as its opposite. But the essential point is to “practice the presence of God,” as Brother Lawrence would say - to do everything as service with a sense of the sacred. Even going to the movies - and not being concerned with noting down in a diary that you should have been doing some real seva. Ultimately, for the open heart everything is service, as well as prasad. Ideally, our attitude to seva will be the same as that of the Master to his work; in Brunton's words:
"The sage does not give his service with any thought about the getting or not-getting of any rewards. He gives it because he thinks it is right to do so and because he enjoys the satisfaction of giving a helping hand to the spiritually needy. In short, he is doing what he likes." (258)
"Meditation is effortless effort."
This is true when it is so accomplished or mastered. It is usually the fruit of years of effort! Until then the double-bind of trying to be effortless is lost on too many disciples who try and fail and are disheartened. Similarly, the expression, "have regular, accurate meditations" is important, but contains its own double-bind. It seems to imply that Perfection can be attained by a technique. Yet even if this were so, it is acknowledged that sweet loving remembrance is the basis of real success and effortlessness. And that is a beautiful thing, and traditionally the very heart of a path of bhakti (http://kirpalsingh.org/Booklets/Always_on_My_Mind.pdf). Further, the Masters say, "with a little thought of His, you will weep like anything. He loves us first. But what of those who try for years, and do not have such sweet remembrance, or lack the total confidence in and love of their Master that would make simran or japa natural? They may have not been able to fall in love with the Master yet, and then what else can one do but simply pray. No doubt, honest effort will call forth a response from God, in case one has not had the personal time to develop such a relationship with his initiating Master, but many do suffer this lack. Again, there is no easy answer here. Concentration takes effort. The annals of spirituality are filled with accounts of aspirants “sweating” in the initial stages. Being told that they are just not trying hard enough, or that it takes a lifetime to win or be worthy of such love, or that they are doing something wrong, as many disciples and even some masters have said, may in some cases be true, but is not of much help - especially when, in many more cases, that may not only be untrue, but the very opposite may be true. Perhaps one is trying too hard! How many can walk around day after day concentrating on a thought or picture in their mind while fulfilling with love their daily tasks - especially in the beginning - how many can do that? It is traditionally a fruit of practice, which efforts lead to the effortless experiences of later stages. So it takes time to develop. Contemplation or dhyana is effortless, but the concentration which precedes it is not effortless - (“There is no high road to concentration,” said Kirpal Singh) - excepting for the X factor, Grace. So putting down in the diary only the time one is actually in contact with the light and sound within - which in the past was an instruction on the diary form - and then being frustrated or in despair because one does not see 2 1/2 hours entered therein - or perhaps even nothing at all - maybe for years - seems a futile exercise. Perhaps this issue has been clarified in recent years; if not, it needs clarification.
Another real possibility is that one may be knowingly or unknowingly going through a form of a 'dark night of the soul', as mentioned, making the performance of any inner exercise impossible - such is a real test of faith, a very real possibility, and a demand for a different way of relating to the Spirit. What if one really can not remember Him, in a clear way, or even come to a stage where he wonders what that means anymore, in the face of the equal commandment to see Him everywhere? In such a state one begins to see, through bitter herbs, that one is not in control of his mind or anything, really. Scripture is all in agreement, however, that the very desire to remember, to be faithful, true, devoted, righteous, is equal to the same. An unspoken prayer in the depths of the heart is the same as a prayer made manifest. This has in fact been said to be a true prayer.
There in fact may be many reasons why one may not apparently succeed at one-pointed, continuous simran or japa. Many in fact try for years and years and do not make recognizable progress this way. Many cannot 'forget the body below,’ or the breathing, for instance. Yet they may feel blamed for not doing the exercise correctly, as if their shortcoming is due to a failure on their part that is easily rectified. Personally I have almost always had this problem, even when not meditating. Yet I still love Kirpal dearly. "A few minutes of the Master's grace" and there are no problems,” he used to say. But may there not be other reasons than simply one's failures, as to why one is more ‘incarnated’ than desired, perhaps, for easy success at this type of meditation? Perhaps it shouldn’t be said, but many simply cannot concentrate at the third eye. Initiation is supposed to fix this problem, but does it? - in all cases? This is an important topic. The very attraction of Sant Mat was supposed to lie in the power of a Master in dragging the soul to the inner door, without having to struggle to get there by oneself, so one could then meditate accurately. Many, perhaps not a majority, report this happening in the beginning. In many other reported instances - too many - this has not happened, and people get disappointed. Whereas if this were not promised in the way it is, the expectations and understanding might be different and assimilable. This is not to disparage a promise given on this Path, only to call for a balanced presentation. And in fact this is not promised or experienced at initiation in all lineages.
One additional point. One-pointedness, or having but one dominant thought in the mind, is a traditional stage of practice. Not the end, but a stage. But the shortest way to make this a reality is sometimes not to struggle with thoughts, but, if it were but possible, to surrender the mind, and shift one's identification from being a little thinker of thoughts, to being the thought of the Thinker. This way even if thoughts continue one is not bound by them. "There is room [in the Self] even when it is crowded," said Ramana. Let the thoughts come. Pay them no heed. If one has been able to accomplish this turnabout he has accomplished much of the purpose of life. One is reminded of the often-told story of a saint, who said that spirituality is easy - it is 'just like plucking up a plant here and planting over there.' This is sometimes explained as the removal of one's attention from the world and placing it on the third-eye center, but here we take a broader view. One sacrifices the attention and shifts it from self to Self; the thoughts become God's responsibility. But as Kirpal said, "very rarely even a blessed soul may acquire this attitude." The beginner usually can't understand this; that is, he is ready for the idea of self-improvement, but not that of being unconcerned with self, i.e., self-abandonment or the unreality of the self. How to 'do' this? [The ego wants to know how to do this. It is a problem!] We are the effortful doer all day long, and then expect, using effortless-effort, to be the non-doer in meditation. How to 'learn to 'be still', i.e., create the inner vacuum which allows the higher self to enter and work in and through us? One way is to gradually create a disposition in which we unlearn all that we know, all that we have acquired through thinking, remembrance, measurement, comparison, and judgement. This is a practice that leads us towards being our true self as well as a condition conducive to true meditation and contemplation. And where are we ultimately heading? "You are already there, you just don't know it," also said Kirpal. It must be realized as much in life as in meditation. "Effortless effort" can not be compartmentalized.
If any of this discussion helps, good. Otherwise, remember it is only a reflection of the author’s experience and opinion. After all, who am I to raise any of these questions? I am well aware of my lack of qualifications or authority. Some, depending on their experience and chosen lineage, feel that I am being too critical, while others feel, to the contrary, that I have been much too lenient! I am but a beggar at the feet of the Masters, all of whom are great, all of whom have been kind to me, but, also, one who has suffered and seen others suffer, and only seeks clarification leading to greater understanding and enhanced aspiration for all.
"Don't look into the eyes of others."
This was said by my own beloved Kirpal, and not without a glint in his own eye, but is it absolutely true and adaptable in our modern society? One might possibly grant it some benefit to a beginner building a hedge between himself and the world - a hedge that will only have to be torn down sooner or later - but how can one see the Real in every being this way? Should one really only look into the eye's of the Master - for fear of contamination by 'Kal' - and not that of ordinary humanity, and even the beggar? How much 'oneness' can one realize that way, and how long might it take?! Indeed, how can one receive from, and bless, others, in this fashion? How is one to learn there is only one reality shining through all eyes? One must learn to look Kal, the Archangel of testing and beloved of God, in the face - how much more one's brothers and sisters! Moreover, the opposite of this advice is now an important part of many emerging paths of spirituality, as well as therapy, and I can vouch that it is a powerful practice. Is one not to gaze into the loved one's eyes? Is not the Master everywhere? "What you see is you," said Kirpal. "The inside is the outside, and the outside confirms the inside." Are we not to make this real, searching out and confirming the soul in all? What are we protecting? The most extreme version of this advice was exemplified by one acclaimed but then defamed successor to Kirpal Singh who once recommended that "children up to the age of five should be blind-folded, to avoid the worldly impressions." If there was a sure way to make children psychotic, this would be it. Children need many and rich experiences, to grow and blossom. And we are all in that category! How can one learn to see the Real behind the image if he cannot see any of the images? Impossible. It appears that I am not the only one who has thought in this way. One initiate wrote upon his return from India:
"He showed [me] that there is nothing in this vast creation but the Master and the disciple. That's all there is! This place is a training ground where He teaches the lesson of how to see only Him. So what's there to be afraid of? What to avoid?...Master teaches at all levels simultaneously. In his physical presence, for example, he speaks some words to a group; some hear one thing, some hear other things, some hear little at all, and some are given inner awakening that could not have come from the words he spoke. So when he says to protect yourself - "Don't look into the eyes of others," "Don't touch others"...these rules are according to the law, "as you sow so shall you reap." This is true of course...but the highest law is love, and "Love knows no law." If we are living, well, we cannot even see the bad radiation or karma. Love knows nothing of these things; it only knows and sees Him. love knows giving and receiving. How can we see and love God in all others if we're afraid of the bad, unspiritual radiation? How can we serve and love the God in all others if we're always thinking about our own selves?" (259)
So here is another are where intelligence is needed. Yes, the novitiate is in danger of taking on the negative qualities of those involved in a downward worldly trajectory, and may rightly guard himself to a degree from such radiation - particularly from psychotics and sociopaths. But how often is that the case? Kirpal said:
"So if you look into the eyes of others who are imbued with worldly things, then you'll have that radiation. So it is always safer not to look into the eyes of others - not a whole lot - unless you can have darshan of someone of whom you are convinced that he is much better than you are, developed in a spiritual way." (260)
'Not a whole lot'. Does not that say it all? We do not associate with unsavory, angry, untruthful, or lustful characters on an ongoing basis - service occupations excepted. A man is known - overall - by the company he keeps. But otherwise, in everyday life, to judge whether or not one should avoid looking in the eyes of another, one must first be certain of the spiritual status of that other - a difficult task under any circumstances. It requires making a judgement. And a huge lack of trust. Second, one must be aware of not withholding the chance for an other person or being, less fortunate perhaps, in receiving a higher loving radiation from you. Third, one has of course to determine what is meant by 'worldly things'. Are we excluding all ordinary pursuits other than what we may narrowly judge to be spiritual? Or only not looking at the wino in the gutter? And even then, who is so proud of himself to refuse to be willing to do that, and seeing God there? How soon do we forget, "there but for the grace of God go I." And oft one entertains an angel unawares."
All is One is not a slogan, it is the Truth. Our hearts must not be suppressed with old-school, fear-based teachings - those days are finished. My friend Judith was right, in my opinion, when she said that Kirpal often ‘spoke with forked-tongue’ and truly ended an age. But few noticed. The path is a natural one and not one of hypervigilance in avoiding Kal! Integral teacher of embodied awakening, Saniel Bonder, affirms “the power of simple gazing with someone we trust can strengthen our spirits and even activate and enhance our whole-being intuition of the one great Heart.”
Not so easy an admonition to fulfill, then, as it may at first have seemed, is it? Yet I still see Satsangis not really looking at me when we are together, and I can feel the heart contract. One can try to apologize and rationalize such a teaching, but I am sorry, this is not healthy.
"Don't tell any of your (inner) experiences to others."
This is a big one, with a real danger of stagnation on the path. Not merely by the telling, but also, in some cases, from the not telling. As this is likely to be extremely controversial, perhaps the most controversial topic in this section, let us explain. If it were just applied to inner, subtle mystical experiences, and/or inner messages from a Master, this is the traditional and generally useful piece of advice for a beginner who remains in the stage of evaluating status or progress solely in terms of the kind of personal visions or mystic transports he has, or who is apt to be swept up, or sweep others up, in ego, envy, or judgement of self and others. And one is a beginner if he holds this viewpoint, that progress is measured solely by experiences, no matter how high his experiences appear to be; in this case discretion is the better part of valor - and also humility.
To value only experiences is to remain in the 'objective' standpoint, whereas if one has truly transitioned more to the 'subjective' viewpoint [seeing all in oneself, or the Self, or at least recognizing that such is the true nature of things, for which one takes no credit, and grants the perspective that having inner visionary experiences does not necessarily make one special, more advanced, or even a better person], then these events no longer matter so much, and the talking or not talking about them is not so relevant to oneself and subject largely to the criterium of their value to others. However, before further making our point, this is not to devalue such experiences altogether. Even one such as Ramana Maharshi - the last person one might suspect of saying as much - said [sometimes] , "visions are better than no visions because they are a sign of concentration and that one is nearer an experience of the Self." Everything is important, and such sweets or graces can be a sign of the protection and presence of ones inner divinity; they especially come in the beginning to bolster faith, and anytime thereafter when that strengthening is needed. As such they are private confidences and in most case will and generally ought to remain so. But not to the extent of making it into a fixed rule. Guillore writes:
“God’s extraordinary gifts are like a fragrant perfume which evaporates when cast upon the breeze; or a secret which ceases to be one when it is known to various people; or a hidden treasure which will soon be rifled if it is exposed to the gaze of the multitude. The special favors with which a soul is graced are a perfume from the Bridegroom to be savored in the depths of the soul. It is a grievous thing to blight these by displaying them to the glare of day; and yet often those to whom they are given do not know how to possess them in thankful stillness…But there is obvious danger in this of fostering a pride which is all the more difficult to deal with that it is very subtle, and often cloaked by a specious humility…God would have the soul He favors unconscious of what He is doing, so that His leadings may be perfectly free; whereas self-consciousness hinders simple obedience.” (261)
We will not now be speaking of this kind of discretion, nor of dramatic types of cases which should be obvious, such as one Parmeshwar (Sat Sandesh, April 1976), who had rapid inner progression of experiences, and went about freely telling everyone what she saw inside, displaying powers attained, acting like a Guru, and not stopping even after repeatedly being told to do so by Kirpal Singh, who, not until even several years later withdrew her inner access completely. Nor are we speaking of even subtly boasting of such experiences, the fruitlessness which hardly needs mention. And we might as well also mention the parading of certain “bird dogs” or model devotees and their apparent spectacular experiences by the leadership/teacher as examples of how others should carry on their lives, such as saying "so and so never watched TV, went to movies, or only did so after asking their Master’s opinion or permission, and only read Master's books," and so on. This is not appropriate either, and can breed disappointment and stressful effort at emulation of others which may not be at all fruitful for any given individual. It is the sign of an adult that the does not need the approval of others (especially his 'parents') to determine his own activity, nor is he afraid of such. The fact that so and so would not even go to the movies unless he asked his father/master if it was okay has no bearing on what any individual should feel free to do. Disciples would do well and good to see if this is the nature of their relationship towards their Master.
In terms of keeping things secret or not, what we are now talking about is the discrete disclosure of one's experience in the instance when it may be of use in helping to bolster the faith or understanding of both oneself and another, with the realization that such experience is not proof or validity of any elevated status to take credit for, but rather, is a subtle matter of seeing something real that is a key factor, or seed of progress, on a true path. This disclosure or articulation requires maturity, sensitivity, and humility. Yes, there is the historical example of Ramanuja, who 'shouted all the secret teachings from the rooftops', caring not if he went to hell for doing so. Of course that is a story for inspiration, not an explicit guide for behavior. Reason and heart-felt intuition is a more dependable means to rely on than untutored enthusiasm and emotion.
People have always been sharing experiences anyway, both with and without permission, as various stories in this book will confirm. This is only to set a base of balanced understanding for it. The intent and overall situation is important. But, again, here we are not primarily talking about visionary experiences that 'happen' to oneself. The main issue with indiscriminately telling others about these visions can be basically summarized as one of communicating "entertainment" instead of "meaning. And that is a problem with beginners for the most part, but unfortunately for some gurus as well, where "candy" is offered instead of "substance." This book is a small attempt to help this situation.
This is to say, then, that there is another kind of 'experience' that is a glimpse of truth, of the Heart - which might be called the secret of the path - the telling or sharing of which is, in our opinion, at specific times a duty of a person graced with them to share. For the books, especially mystic books such as those of Sant Mat, do not clearly speak of them as much as do other paths, such as some, perhaps, of non-duality. If we stick dogmatically to a Sant Mat perspective we will often find ourself forced to simply dismiss these as unreal, irrelevant, or of little value - chiefly because we do not understand them. And if one is preconditioned to demean or dismiss them, he will not be in a condition to recognize them if they happen, and he will also be unable to point them out to others, or share them with those who are bewildered and have begun to question their own experience. Keeping these inside can lead to years of confusion in many cases. These may include experiences where one recognizes in clear but simple (and non-visionary) ways examples or appreciations of the hidden greatness of a Master, their solicitude and care, and so on, but it goes much beyond that. We are speaking of insight or true glimpses of the person himself. One could also call them “non-experiences” in that respect. Such sharing of our personal and meaningful, subjective, hard-won yet also graceful insights - of our selves - is really crucial to all of our welfare and progress. Giving of these treasures, when appropriate, helps those in need and increases faith. Therefore we ought to be disposed to share them with those who are given to us by life to do so. This means those who are naturally drawn to us or present themselves, not just anybody anytime. We naturally are led to help one another this way. We naturally share our ordinary 'outer' experiences, so why not also those experiences that are neither outer or inner but of Truth, and yet so often missed when one is only expecting big mystical things to happen. But that is the point. Mystical experiences 'happen', while the other is announced, declared, or recognized by, as and of the person. We all have them, and sharing helps 'close the gap' between our relative world and the Absolute. Even writing of these Glimpses - or whispers from eternity - to ourself, opens a door in the tangible world for someone to appear who is in need of our own glimpse for a confirmation of their own truth, or a part of their development. This is not getting in between someone and their Master, or you and your Master; rather, with discretion, it can help in bringing us all closer - in my opinion. But it is not only in non-dual circles that such experience is spoken of. St. John of the Cross mentions it when he speaks of infused contemplation, free not only of the senses and mind, but also of the influence of the devil, or as someone on this path might say, “kal” :
“The reason the darkness of this contemplation frees and hides the soul from the wiles of the devil is that the contemplation experienced here is infused passively and secretly without the use of the exterior and interior faculties of the sensory part of the soul. The soul’s journey, consequently, is not only hidden and freed from the obstacle these faculties in their natural weakness can occasion, but also from the devil, who without these faculties of the sensory part cannot reach the soul or know what is happening within it. Accordingly, the more spiritual and interior the communication and the more removed it is from the senses, the less the devil understands it.”
“Not only does the soul fail to understand, but even the devil, since the Master who teaches the soul dwells within it substantially where neither the devil nor the natural senses nor the intellect can reach.” (262)
He further explains:
"Not only does a person feel unwilling to give expression to this wisdom, but one finds no adequate means or simile to signify so sublime an understanding and delicate spiritual feeling. Even if the soul should desire to convey this experience in words and think up many similes the wisdom would always remain secret and still to be expressed...All they can manage to say is they are satisfied, quiet and content, and aware of God, and in their opinion all goes well. But the experience is ineffable, and one will hear from the soul no more than these general terms. It is a different matter when the communications the soul receives are particular, such as visions, feelings, and so on. These communications are ordinarily received through some species in which the sense participates and are describable through that species or a similar one. Yet pure contemplation is indescribable, as we said, and on this account called "secret." (263)
This is a different kind of experience than those visionary ones in which either kal or simran comes into play. It is ‘secret’ and only remains so, perhaps, due to a difficulty in conveying it, despite its “ordinariness.” The difference we are talking about is between that which is: Existential, not experiential; Subjective, not objective; Essentially consciousness, not energies; Insight vs samadhi; Infused contemplation vs meditation; Intuitive vs visionary; 'Jnana Chaksu' vs. 'Divya chaksu'; Indescribable vs describable; 'Secret' vs apparent. And therefore, unlike any and every experience, it can’t be taken away, nor is it really an attainment for the ego to boast about. Brunton speaks about this kind of experience:
“The quietness of this deep daily initiation into the Overself may seem a small and flat thing against the thrilling raptures that religious mystics and babbling evangelists have described. But its life-guiding and life-changing power, its truth-revelatory light will be of a much higher voltage...The reason why this silent, inward, and pictureless initation in the stillness is so much more powerful ultimately is that it reaches the man himself, whereas all other kinds reach only his instruments or vehicles or bodies.” (264)
But if one can share this in some way, of course with discretion and humility, there is no restriction on trying. Can we not communicate about matters of the Heart? At the very least, it should be made clear that, while delicate, this is a form of experience of a higher order, and higher potential voltage, than ordinary visions with a subject-object distinction, and that, for want of this understanding, many may feel disappointed in their practice even while actually being the recipient of something greater without even knowing it - largely for want of its expectation.
Just so, even here there is a caveat. I don’t know, perhaps here I am carrying on a rear guard. After all, much is changing, people are suffering and need encouragement. One might say, however, that in the beginning when one is newly ‘finding God as his inner self’, so to speak, through the delicate process of intuition, it can be confusing to discuss problems, exchange ideas and one’s experience to others. That is to say, oneself or others can be led to doubt such inner-discovery, as it is at first so subtle. Some caution is in order, but not as a blanket rule: ones own inner intelligence in such matters must be given the chance to show itself. Brunton adds:
“There are some inner experiences which seem too holy to be talked about in public, too intimate even to be talked about with intimate friends, too mysterious to be mentioned to anyone else except a student or a teacher who has passed through similar experiences himself.” (265)
Again, we aren't just talking here about, "I saw such and such scene inside, this or that phenomena, or received this or that special personal message," and so on. Those tend to bring in ego much more easily, and may not even be that valuable for others. Although there could be an occasion for that, too. Tact, sensitivity, and common sense is warranted. We basically want to get to such a place, however, that many saints speak of and as Kirpal once wrote:
"Please learn to be receptive to His grace and feel His kindly presence riding with you on the buses, chatting with you in the street, sitting with you in the park, by your office desk, accompanying you every morning to the office, slowing down by the lily pond to check the new flowers and walking with you in the evening all the way back by the new moon." (266)
It seems with all the angst and stress over experiencing the extraordinary, sharing this recognition of the joy and serenity of simple faith should be encouraged. After all, we are not islands unto ourselves. And what if one is excluding what is always already there by limiting his expectations to something spectacular? Consider that maybe the spectacular has already happened, but we just don't notice it! Illumination can happen all of the time, in small ways, that are only to be seen and appreciated. And in fact, isn't this most of our time on the path? If we only expect to find it at one place, we may have a long and dreary wait. One long-time initiate openly confessed his feelings on this issue:
"I am of the opinion that the greatest love story in creation is ones own relationship with God, which is going on every second of eternity, including this very brief sojourn in duality, which is a pure, personally unique, totally magical package of gifts. Stories of others are fun, like movies, but they only change and charge the mind, create expectations and even ungratefulness, but not consciousness of reality. Perhaps it's just a characteristic of the mind to compare and experience a sort of restlessness or jealousy, an inability to discover we all are actually living in God, who is loving, empowering, guiding, protecting and carrying out our every second of duality, as the life of our life. Perhaps this undercurrent of emphasis on so called "spiritual experiences," instead of on living the life one has been given with a simple, faithful, open, grateful heart, is the biggest scam about how the path is presented and lived."
Perhaps the Masters appear most often only to those who need such visitations. That was certainly the view of the great Christian mystics. There is no fixed rule about it, but it doesn't necessarily say anything about a person's spiritual advancement or not, and we need not yearn for such things or feel left out if we haven't had them. And who wants it to be said of themselves, "He was a fun guy, full of great stories of the Masters, but never learned how to deeply listen to or emphasize with others" ? Yet this is often found on paths where the pursuit of alternative experiences is given more emphasis than a simple message of "Know Thyself," and "love, serve, remember."
The same initiate continues:
“It's not about not sharing your treasures with others. It's about being honestly useful in helping others orient themselves for awakening. It's about recognizing and serving places in others where a little encouragement can mean a lot. I'm beyond amazement over how progress in Sant Mat is described in terms disciples neither understand nor experience, such as a repetitious linear rendition of various inner planes, but not a word about how consciousness changes, step by step, which seems would be a more appropriate, more helpful knowledge. Also, the moralistic perspectives on personal qualities and "failures" in daily living is archaic and completely misses the point: the necessity of implementing right understanding and right practice, in place of mistaken information, uninspected concepts and blindly adopted beliefs. There seems to be a strange fear that keeps folks away from questions like who am I to question? Who and what is a Master? “Everyone is God speaking. Why not be polite and listen to Him?,” said Hafiz. The measure of authenticity to me has always been a natural ability to be with you as a man, without airs of superiority, and also a capacity to be vulnerable, normal human. True spirituality shows itself to me as authentic humanness, that can listen to and feel others, without judgments.”
We need right understanding, and, as Gordon Lightfoot sang, "rainy-day people" who can guide and comfort in times of trial and distress when everything may be going right but seems like it is going wrong. In such times no one needs a pep-talk about one day reaching the inner planes and being happy if they only put in their two and a half hours a day. No, wise counsel from the likes of a deCaussade, who can discriminate what is truly happening, is more of what is called for:
“It is most difficult indeed to love God in happiness without any admixture of self, or of vain self-complacency, but in the time of crosses, and of interior spiritual privations, all that is needful in order to be certain of the purity of our love, is to endure them patiently, and to abandon ourselves sincerely. How truly consoling and encouraging is this certainty for those who understand the value and advantages of pure love. When God makes you understand this you will also understand why so many of the saints preferred privations and sufferings to consolations and joys, how they so passionately loved the former that they could hardly put up with the latter. God may possibly allow you to think that this painful state is going to last you your lifetime, in order to give you an opportunity of making Him a more complete sacrifice. Do not waver, do not hesitate for a single moment, sacrifice all! Abandon yourself without reserve, without limitation to Him, by Whom you imagine yourself abandoned…” (267)
The next two quotes are very important and strikes at the heart of what a successful meditation rather than a desired result truly is:
“You have shown me another subject of uneasiness; one of which is of no consequence, and which has its foundation in various illusions, and of which you must cure yourself. The first is the great desire you have of sensible pleasure in Communion, and is an effect of spiritual self-love. The second is the belief that this sensible pleasure is a necessary condition of a good Communion. Alas! my dear daughter what would become of so many holy souls who usually feel nothing but dryness, callousness, and often distaste? In all our spiritual exercises we must approach God by pure faith which is scarcely felt. The less feeling you have in your communions and prayers the more likely they are to be purer and more pleasing to God. This is the way of pure faith and love which is never self-seeking. St. Francis of Sales used to say, “Our miserable satisfactions do not satisfy God.” [“However, there are exceptions to be made, such as at the beginning of the spiritual life when the Holy Spirit has not yet acquired full dominion over us, and some extraordinary occasions when the tumult of the storm prevents us hearing His voice.”] (268)
“There are two kinds of interior peace; one is sensible, sweet and delightful, and this kind does not, in any way, depend on ourselves, and is not at all necessary. And there is another kind which is almost imperceptible, which dwells in the depths of the heart in the most hidden recesses of the soul. It is usually dry and unfelt, and can be retained in the midst of the greatest tribulations. To recognize it would require the most profound recollection, you would say it was hidden in a deep abyss. It is there that God dwells, and He fashions it Himself in order to dwell there in an atmosphere of His own in the inner chamber of our hearts from hence He works marvelous but inscrutable things. These can only be recognized by their effects, as, when, by His beneficent influence you feel yourself capable of remaining firm in the midst of trials, violent shocks, great pain, and unforeseen misfortunes. If you feel that you possess this dry peace and a sort of quiet sadness, you ought to thank God for it; this is all that is necessary for your spiritual progress. Guard it as a most precious gift. As it gradually increases it will one day become your greatest treasure...” (269)
One can see that the issue of telling one's experiences to others is directly connected with understanding the deeper dimensions of what true progress as discussed earlier is all about. Let us summarize a few points.
Some of this may boil down to semantic confusion over what are experiences. Shifts in consciousness or perspective/understanding are experiences, although some might consider them non-experiences as compared to something that appears in one’s forehead. But they are more important and it is important to share and discuss them to clarify what they represent for us, based on what we understand so far. That’s what all the non-dual teachers are doing in talks and satsang. Someone might experience a sense of oneness, for instance, and not know if it is the final stage or not. Or they mistake it for that or a level of enlightenment which it is not. And the same goes for different levels of no-self or non-doership. They can be discussed and verified with the writings of teachers and scriptures. We have to use mind and words for all of that.
And similarly the reliability of these things happening in the energy field of any particular teacher is also up for discussion and confirmation. An older initiate friend of mine passionately said that at this point in time we need 'the raw truth' Whether that is entirely attainable in the esoteric arena, where much goes on under the surface, he made an important point. It should not be taboo to discuss any of this nor should it be taboo to share or ask about mystical experiences either, although in our opinion there the emphasis should be more on what they might mean personally or symbolically, rather then “oh boy, I saw Buddha in the clouds and he said hello, and I blinked and entered one of his palaces, etc..” One reason being the likelihood of ego creeping in, and another is that those very 'structures' seen may not even exist for that person the next time they go in again! Moreover, not everyone will experience those things as a matter of course or in the same order in any case, so it’s not very important to know what happens in that way to anyone else. But it should be allowed. The gurus are responsible for explaining in what way those experiences are not really important. Faqir was one of the few in Sant Mat who did that. Ishwar was another.
It is interesting that both Papaji and Nisargadatta would say “keep quiet.” But at other times Nisargadatta, for instance, would say “if you were really serious you would have many more questions.” Simply being silent is not incompatible with ignorance. It can be just tamas, or fear of being exposed, or a preliminary state of contemplation and not close to enlightenment at all. So the teachers have to use words. Some can do it in a way that PB considered “white magic,” in that, their words, being translations out of their inner experience, can induce those states in receptive listeners. It’s a different kind of receptivity than just receptivity to the shakti or radiation of a guru. This is another reason to absorb well the words of a true teacher.
To conclude this section, one satsangi told a story of traveling on a rainy windy night around a mountain curve and, realizing he was in the wrong lane with a semi-truck heading right for him, at that moment saw Master Kirpal pick up his car and move it into the correct lane. Stories like this are a wonderful confirmation of a Master's solicitude, but then an equally beloved disciple faced a similar fate in a head-on collision on a snowy winter night and the Master did not save him. True, later on Sant Rajinder Singh confessed that that person was now in Sach Khand, but for a while some of those familiar with these stories may have doubted the benevolence of the will of a Higher Power. So faith and self-understanding must be the cornerstones if we are to endure the challenges of life and the path with grace, equanimity and basic sanity intact, and not be swept off our feet by comparisons with others, or a felt need to gin up some devotion on any idealistic basis while abandoning the authenticity of our own self in the process. Which leads us to:
"Seeing is above all"
This saying of Kirpal Singh has been subject to some confusion. I love my Master and would not sow seeds of doubt or confusion over anything he said, but the questions are already there, especially if one has read the world of a sage such as Ramana Maharishi, and must be addressed. In my opinion, the truth of this depends on what the meaning of 'seeing' is. Kirpal often contrasted seeing with just thinking, feeling, and drawing inferences, which he held as inferior. And if we think of a person being merely an intellectual or a poet, or a pseudo-mystic, this is indeed true. Meditating is superior to merely thinking about meditating, or just believing in or having a feeling or hunch about spiritual matters. Having a visionary experience in meditation is better than not having one and thinking one has! Even in Sant Mat, however, there is mention of a stage beyond seeing, for the sense faculties of this kind of seeing (both outer and inner senses - or indriyas) only extend so far. They are not supposed to remain after the causal planes (in Sant Mat terminology). So here, we really need a different word than seeing to signify the experience on those planes. The senses are said to resolve into manas, the manas into buddhi, buddhi into Atman. Even buddhi (reason or discriminative intelligence), what to speak of Atman, is thus considered higher than seeing. That is to say, that which sees (consciousness or awareness) is considered more primary than that which is seen (objects, visions). Here sight becomes insight. The main difference between Sant Mat and a school like Vedanta is that the latter asks us to consider and contemplate on this from the beginning, not only at the end. They would say we still need to ask of our visions, "how do I know this is true, or real?" And actually, for Vedanta a basic principle, at least provisionally, is that whatever is seen is not reality (i.e., it is impermanent). It is not to say meditation is just a bunch of business, for deepening concentration and the light which comes from that, up to the penultimate experience of an ocean of light (penultimate, because it is still something seen), is the traditional way to get to the witness consciousness behind it all, or the stage of self-realization in Sant Mat. At this stage the mystic exclamation of "I have seen God" is passed beyond, because there is no longer two things, I and God, to be in relationship with each other. But this needn’t happen only by inversion.
Another example to think over might be the claims, for instance, that at Daswan Dwar every soul will see the pool of Manasarovar with eighty-four steps. The question one may ask is,' how do we know that everyone will experience this the same way?' How could you prove it? Even in this world we can't know such things perfectly. Maybe eighty-four, a sacred Hindu number, reflects a cultural bias to the experience, whereas other traditions may experience this level differently. Might not an important question be, "what is the true nature of this visionary experience?" (which in any case one has to pass beyond). Baba Faqir Chand, for instanced, as discussed in Part One, gave more psychological/philosophical interpretations of these stages than those found in the Beas books.
Of course, it is also recognized in the traditions that this [non-duality, beyond subject-object distinctions] is really true at all stages. And so a problem can be that too rigidly holding to the idea that seeing is above all can put one a position to miss many true moments of insight - 'seeing' the truth of the matter, or 'seeing' in the sense of understanding or recognizing truth. Many times we use the word 'seeing' in this sense. "Ah, I see what you are saying," or "oh, now I see!" It is not meant literally in the sense of seeing an object, either external or internal, but of knowing or understanding. Taking 'seeing is above all' to mean that only mystic visions or light are legitimate experiences may cause one to miss many spiritual opportunities, many moments of grace. We will look only for the fantastic, rather than gentle, subtle and quiet moments that fall as dew from heaven, but are often more enduring and fundamental than experiences of meditative dhyana. But can equally be considered moments of real 'seeing.'
Again, "What you see is you," said Kirpal Singh. This is really, in my opinion, a non-dual confession of ‘You Are That,’ or ’Atman and Brahman are One.' But it is clear that this would be impossible to fit into the ordinary meaning of 'seeing.'
And then we have the scripture, where Jesus says, "blessed are those who believe who have not seen," an affirmation that faith can be even more important than visions, in terms of spiritual growth - especially for those who have already enjoyed meditative experiences.
Finally, as also mentioned in Part One, the idea of pure subjectivity (antardrishti) is an advance over seeing objectively as in visions (whether inner or outer), but is still a pointer to truth. The truth is beyond both objectivity and subjectivity. It is not seeing light, or even the light of a million suns, or even the natural luminescence of consciousness. “The true seeing,” says Sri Siddharameshwar, “is to see oneself as God.” (270)
Or, perhaps more appropriately stated, to avoid grandiosity and solipsistic error, to "see God as oneself." So these are a few things to think over. Re-phrasing much of this, it seems to be a kind of spiritual law that a flow must be kept going between oneself and the universe, in spite of its 'illusion'. If so, then whom might we prudently share some of our glimpses with? Those whom our heart reveals that life brings to us. Keeping everything hidden, private, by blanket rule or regulation, can reinforce the very encapsulated separation we are trying to free ourselves from. Some will now reply, 'the teaching says, no, telling experiences only reinforces ego.' And this certainly can happen. But this seems to pertain mostly to 'objective' experiences - of which inner visionary mystical experiences are one variety - and even so only with those who still believe they are of utmost personal significance - thus potentially stimulating egos all around. We are here speaking primarily, however, of sharing glimpses of the true, subjective identity, the very Person himself, the Mystery, God, or the Master's grace, and then only to those receptive to the sharing and who may benefit from such confidences. If we keep our light under a bushel, who will know of it - except indirectly through our 'works'? The Master is not the only one who can do this. We each must do it, or we will 'lose whatever little we may have'. Here is another apparent 360 degree turn from Sant Mat principles, but understood rightly - and we all understand this in our hearts - in our opinion it is a key to further growth. We glorify our 'Father in Heaven', not only by worldly works, but by spiritual giving and receiving. Both are needed. We must speak our truths to the world, however humble they may be, and until we do we are not sharing the light, but repeating the words of outer authorities, which anyone can do. The world wants to hear from you.
And so we must learn to trust ourselves. Glimpses of truth have a certain flavor: they are simple, childlike, exciting, surprising, inspiring, and expectant. Expectant of what? - the Good, and only the Good. We feel giddy and hopeful, more real and independent. Illuminations enlighten the intelligence, clarify purpose, awaken intuition, and set free creativity. We so often doubt them, they are so quiet, especially if we have been a long time on the path. And we have all been a long time on the path - lifetime after lifetime. If we don't share, our acquaintances will wonder why the truth of the path hasn't work as its spokespeople claim that it does. Truth must be put into our own words if it is to touch and enliven others. Share when the opportunity presents itself. And if one can see no opportunities, renew your conversation with Truth, and they will arise. In addition to all this, sharing validates the truth of a path in comparison to what one hears about other paths. Some things are personal, but too much secrecy creates exclusiveness and separatism.
“You don’t have to change your religion.”
Believing that Sant Mat is the essential core teaching of all religions, it is then a fairly easy step to claim that anyone can take initiation without leaving their own religion and without any discomfort or inconvenience. If only that were true! But what about “no man can serve two masters,” or, “I have not come to bring peace but a sword,” or, “if any will not leave their mother and father to follow me they can not be my disciple”? “The path is not your auntie’s tea party,” said Darshan Singh, nor is it just exchanging one social body for another. It is leaving the exoteric for the esoteric, and conflicts between the two inevitably arise. Moreover, there are differences between religions even at higher levels that may preclude giving oneself equally to both camps.
“Remain in whatever religion you like, but live up to it.” - Kirpal Singh
“We never want anyone to think they have to leave their religion.” - Rajinder Singh
Sounds reasonable. as well as embracing, but it is just plain false. It may work for the 80-90% Indian-Sikh membership in Naperville, or Beas, for instance, but there is really no way to be a Christian except very privately and not transgress the commandments of Sant Mat:
1. Going to church on Sunday (what to speak of other special services or community activities) leaves no time for also going to satsang.
2. A sip of wine at Communion goes against the prohibition against any alcohol, even though:
a. The real prohibition in any faith is against inebriation, not alcohol per se. And what’s even wrong, for that matter, with a modest amount of wine occasionally with a meal, as is the custom with the French and others, if it calms the heart and lowers core stress levels? Stress is a major impediment to successful meditation and whatever helps alleviate it seems like a plus.
b. In both Roman Catholicism and Eastern Orthodoxy, the Blessed Sacraments, especially Holy Communion or the Eucharist, even for monks, ascetics and mystics, is not considered to be just another of many “rites and rituals” as it would be in Sant Mat. Even great Elders and contemplatives in both Orthodoxy and Roman Catholicism long to take Communion. They are not just stupid beginners who know nothing about inner meditation! For them it is a real partaking of the mystical body of Christ.
Kirpal said, “I saw the priests and you know what they were doing? - drinking wine!”Heart-to-Heart Talks
This is silly, as difficult as it is for me to say it. Kirpal (and other famous Indian masters) went to Christian schools, but did not really understand the Christian tradition in depth, it seems, other than with regard to some mystical similarities with its meditation practices. [I know there will be strong disagreement on this, as it contradicts the Sant Mat belief that they have the esoteric truth of all religions, but that in itself only lends support to the point we are trying to make].
But despite this injunction against any wine, and the dietary restrictions, the gurus have no compunction against advising disciples to take vaccines made from aborted fetal tissue or animal products, or wear leather shoes, etc.. Some will see at least some selective hypocrisy here. The apologists will say, “no, we are only being practical.” But then, this must work the other way, too.
What Sant Mat needs to say is that either one can simply add some meditation in private along with their religion, or one must realize up front that they can only remain in their religion if they understand and accept and believe that only Sant Mat is the actual real religion within their religion, be it Christianity, Judaism or whatever - and because of that one is not really switching religions! But I don't think this is really being honest.
In addition, while some of the mystics in these traditions had experiences of light and sound, we do not really know, for instance, if Jesus taught shabd yoga, nor did Sawan Singh know that “Jesus meditated in the Murree hills of India for seventeen years.” Particularly ludicrous were the assertions of Dr. Julian Johnson in the time of Sawan Singh that “we have here at Beas a number of initiates that are higher than Jesus.”
3. Kirpal was at least honest in saying that all that was a matter for research. But so far we have nothing but supposition. As are convenient albeit plausible beliefs that Jesus, as well as his family members and close disciples, were members of an Essence brotherhood and advocated a fleshless diet. Some have speculated that the bread in those times was shaped in loaves that looked like fish (the sign of the age of Pisces), or that the "fish" were made from a plant that grew in the Sea of Galilee. These views have been popularized by Edmond Szekely, and also yogis and mystics of the early twentieth century coming to the West, but the Orthodox Church Fathers themselves do not accept or require them. We simply do not know for certain what is historically true, and It is at least debatable that Jesus ate fish if not even lamb on occasion. It is true that many saints and great initiates going back to Pythagoras have advocated a fleshless diet, but other sages have not said one way or the other what their students should do, other than avoiding unnecessary cruelty.
That means one can’t join Sant Mat and really remain in one’s own religion (except, perhaps, when going home for the holidays) without possibly becoming torn between loyalties, being lonely, or at worst even going schizophrenic. Maybe a few South American Latinos can remain Christians and do it, but most in the world can not. Christianity - except maybe for some ascetics within Orthodoxy - and certainly Judaism, do not believe one has to adhere 100% to the Genesis 1 (vegetarian) or even lactovegetarian diet. And this strict precept leads to such consequences as that of both Amy’s Natural Foods and Nature’s Path - major businesses run by initiates in both Beas and Naperville lineages, respectively - using canola and even soy oil in their products instead of a little bit of pasture-raised egg which is much healthier, as well as initiates having to make these choices to scrupulously adhere to a rather rigid diet and not being able to use their own judgement on these things, which is the only way to learn in one’s own body-mind what is needed.
4. You can only remain in Christianity if you separate Jesus from Christ , which Christianity does not do. They do not believe one needs a Perfect Living Master; Christ is their Master - the “once and for all truth delivered to the saints.” The cosmic Christ or Christ Power is basically a distinction of the yogis, following the gnostics, while in Christianity based on a 2000 year tradition passed on by Church Fathers, elders, monks, mystics, and priests, Christ is not to be radically separated from the historical Jesus, and for them Jesus was not just another wandering guru who became “Word made flesh” through yoga practice, but was the Word or Logos itself, the third person of the Trinity, "the light which lighteth every man who comes into the world." And who set up his own Church with its sacraments which are not considered mere rites and rituals. Again, this has been the position of even the highest mystics within the Church, both East and West, who long to go to Holy Communion.
Most if not all Sufi masters pass their chelas up the line from their own master to Mohammed. This is not usually so much of a problem, but could be if one is asked to believe that Soamiji as a divine avatar is the start of the lineage. Or if ones time is divided between going to a mosque instead of satsang. Sufism is more compatible with Sant Mat than Christianity. Pir Vilayat Khan asked Kirpal Singh for initiation but Kirpal replied that it was not necessary because he had already been initiated by his father, Hazrat Inayat Khan.
Rajinder said after attending a religious conference in 2015 that “meetings like that make us realize how few our differences really are.“ Then what happens if one actually takes him and other masters at their word on this? Too often (mostly by the sangat) shaming, shunning and black-listing. And I suspect it is more or less the same in other lineages, due to the inevitable group-think that develops.
It just doesn’t work. Either it is true what Kirpal implied when he said, “All are satsangis, I tell you,” or one must remain in the cult and reject while seemingly (but righteously) tolerating people on the “outside”.
5. While there are two views on this issue, in practice Sant Mat as a whole does not seem to have as yet abandoned the belief that Kal was the demiurge - as in the ancient pagan teachings that the universe, specially this “lower” creation, was created by a separate being or power than the One God of Christianity, Judaism and Islam who created the cosmos by fiat (either all at once, or over Six Days (or if you like, stages) with a specific divine act each day). And this is so because of the general teaching that we must meditate and arrange our lives to escape from the realms of Kal. This is the unconscious assumption in practice, that competes with the higher teaching that God is Omnipresent. So this is a big difference between basic (non-gnostic) Christianity, which remains a religion in which the flesh and the mystery of incarnation are an integral part. Jesus, based on the Gospels as well as the body of Church doctrine and the teachings of the Elders, taught a path of the redemption of the flesh and not mere gnostic escape from it. This basic tenet, rejecting the views of the gnostics, was hammered out over a period of a hundred years or more by the early Church Fathers, and there is no getting around it in Sant Mat without major tweaking of their own doctrines and approach. This is not impossible, and is beginning to happen a bit as more and more “embodiment” teachings become introduced in the spiritual scene. Some fallout is occurring in the form of more body-positive messaging even in Sant Mat. This book is one effort in that direction.
All of the above means one can’t easily join Sant Mat and really “remain in ones own religion” (except, perhaps, when going home for the holidays) without possibly becoming torn between loyalties, being lonely, or at worst even going schizophrenic.
What we are saying here is that, whatever we believe, we do not really have full and certain knowledge of very much, and should admit that. Bottom line, a choice presents itself: Sant Mat must either change some of its evangelistic language, or simply own that it is what it is and not try to convince people into believing it is not an exclusive school. There is nothing wrong with being an exclusive school. What is wrong is employing subtle deception in hypocritically denying it. And perhaps this partly accounts for a high attrition rate among westerners. “Let’s stay real” is basically the essence of what they saying. There is a tendency for cultism in any group and any organized path, but there seems to be a higher incidence of this in eastern Guru-oriented paths. This is unfortunate because traditionally the true Guru is the jewel of a sangha. But the sangha must do its part and become intelligent, and not allow themselves to become glamorized by their association with such a person without fundamental self-understanding being acquired.
An initiate associated with a major center asked me a question to which I reply with the following. It is difficult to be critical in a constructive way, thus keeping oneself personally free of dwelling on the negative. But I would say to answer your question, “can we suggest positive improvements without being critical of the negatives?” I would say, “no, if there’s duality here it only makes sense that suggesting improvements must be based on something not working very well that needs improvement! (Unless one takes Suzuki Roshi’s view that “everything’s already perfect - but it can be more perfect.” Which actually in a both/and universe also doesn’t negate the preceding statement either)."
"My personal approach for this book, except maybe in this section (less than 1% of the book), and the next section on mental illness and the path (maybe 2% more) is not to just criticize, but rather offer other possible perspectives for people who are either: confused and on the verge of abandoning the path or teaching; fed up with disciplines and practices that seem unworkable to them; feeling loyal to a Guru, a lineage, and a sangha, but feel they are hurting in spite of or because of it; or who would benefit from or appreciate a deeper cross-disciplinary understanding, even if they are happy where they are."
"I can see your trepidation over saying what you feel in your position of being close to the lion’s den! I get afraid sometimes, too. Was it Aristotle who first said that if you don’t want to be criticized just don’t say anything?"
"It’s strange, though, if I string together some of the things the Masters have said over the years, i.e., Rajinder: “the soul doesn’t do anything,” “the soul doesn’t go anywhere,” “you just change frequencies,” “Whatever happens is God's will”, “Whatever happens to you is for your highest spiritual progress,” or Kirpal, “you are already there, you just don’t know it,” “what you see is you,” and, in 1974, "all are satsangis, I tell you," or Darshan, “we misunderstand what the Master is, He is in every cell of your body,” or Gurinder, “there is only the One,” or Ajaib, “taking sides with one Master over an other has nothing to do with Sant Mat,” sounds a lot like what some of the new non-dual teachers are saying."
"But it gets lost on the majority of the sangat because it is often buried in a totally different old-school extreme dualistic message much of the time. I don’t think we can assume that that message is what a sangat needs or is even asking for, deep down. I think they are often being are being dumbed-down not unlike what is happening in our greater culture. They deserve better, don’t you think?"
I’m not suggesting to take up posters and go out yelling for the teachings to change, (like “new messiahs” on 42nd St. one used to see carrying signs and shouting “the world is coming to an end!”) but people have to be free to speak their truth, which just might be what others are thinking but are too afraid to give it a voice, or too confused to find the words."
Another friend writes:
“The confusion and narrow doctrinal belief focus among satsangis is everywhere because since Sant Mat is dualistic it encourages thinking while advaita encourages thoughtless awareness.”
This concept is interesting to me, and ironic in a way. Because, in my opinion, it is more true to say that Sant Mat really discourages thinking, like most yoga meditation groups, believing the mind is an agent of “kal”, or as has often been repeated, “the mind is the slayer of the real.” But because of that and a disappointing reliance on (often unforthcoming) experiences, it ends up with a lot of people actually thinking a great deal - on all their doubts, including the biggest doubt of all, self-doubt - and primarily on their repetitively imagined fallen, frightful state.
Whereas real advaita encourages clarification of doubts as well as an enquiring kind of deep thinking in which eventually the mind will turn in on itself by itself and reach a natural silence as contrasted with a manipulated, temporary silence as happens in yoga.
Judith Lamb-Lion said to me in 1973 that a lot of what Kirpal said was often to see what would stick, that is, to see what we would buy. She said that in a way he sometimes “spoke with forked tongue.” When we no longer bought it, he would stop.
This can’t be done so much anymore, one has to speak the truth straight out or people won’t accept it. Most Advaita teachers do that because they do not have a theology to fall back on. I’m not saying they are all better, only that the teachings are less mysterious, and therefore less distortable.
It appears more and more that as the global spiritual mind advances towards non-duality, the more the Teacher’s delivery are changing as if by osmosis and attunement, which is only natural if one accepts the premise that there is ultimately only one Mind. The vision for this book is, in a peaceful, ecumenical way, to drive a loving stake in the heart of an old beast and advance this process of understanding a little. God willing.
We mentioned the word “groupthink.” There is an unfortunate form of groupthink that occurs in many organization, including religious ones. Groupthink is a phenomenon that occurs when a group of individuals reaches a consensus without critical reasoning or evaluation of the consequences or alternatives. Groupthink is based on a common desire not to upset the balance of a group of people. But “what we saw in the groups that overcame groupthink is that it began with one member,” wrote the Harvard Business Review. Yet in satsangs there is often an existential fear that to not immediately accept, but rather to question, what comes from any master or his organization is to be in unforgivable denial that he is God incarnate and that his words and plans come directly from Sach Khand. This is too much pressure for many to overcome, and their enlightenment gets further postponed.
Real teachers are often rebels. Buddha, Jesus were rebels. They left home and did their own thing. Ramana left home. Brunton left Ramana. Kirpal left the Dera. Judith Lamb-Lion left Sant Mat orthodoxy. Every student also has their leaving home moment in one form or another. Your own self has validity, the Real you must one day come forward. You have authentic being that can not be denied. What you feel and intuit in your heart must be honored and expressed. Self-abnegation is not the full path. Awakening properly speaking should not be hoped and dreamed for as something coming only at the end of one’s path if he dutifully dots his ‘i’s and crosses his ‘t’s, but rather as some thing to be catalyzed by the Teacher even towards the beginning, if one’s path is to gain real traction in this lifetime. Without even the freedom and courage to question, however, what hope is there? So this is a challenge for both teachers and students. I may repeat a few favorite quotes here:
"To have a settled opinion disturbed, pulls up your moorings; we have to start all over again. And so we hate the man who disturbs those settled opinions. If you do not believe it, watch your feelings the next time someone proves to you that the theory you have so carefully cultivated in the garden of your mind, watering and weeding it, is rubbish; note how you feel when he tramples on it ruthlessly. He has done you a service; put you on the track of truth. Are you really grateful? Or do you want to slap him?" - Norman Angell (271)
“In almost every person, every religion, every group, every teaching, and every teacher, there are ideas, beliefs, and assumptions, which are overtly or covertly not open to question. Often these unquestioned beliefs hide superstitions, which are protecting something that is untrue, contradictory, or being used as justification for teachings and behaviors that are less than enlightened. The challenge of enlightenment is not simply to glimpse the awakened condition, nor even to continually experience it. It is to be and express it as your self in the way you move in the world. In order to do this, you must come out of hiding behind any superstitious beliefs and find the courage to question everything. Otherwise, you will continue to hold onto superstitions that distort your perception and expression of that which is only ever AWAKE.” -Adyashanti (272)
"The best among sages can, without hesitation, give complete answers on matters relating to Realization and the sublimest truths. He seems to be spontaneously animated when discussing matters pertaining to jnana (knowledge) and is never tired of their exposition." (273)
“He exemplifies a major characteristic of the guru, namely, to teach fully, holding nothing back. Although different teachers use different methods, the authentic guru holds nothing in reserve; he teaches all that he knows and experiences. According to the texts, Yajnavalkya exposed principles relentlessly until understanding took place. These early teachers, though their teaching was frequently obscure and esoteric, were not part of a closed society. There was no fear of a free exchange of ideas even among the teachers themselves. Above all, they were concerned for the lineage of sacred wisdom and the necessity of its transmission." (274)
Are we there yet? "The classic spiritual journey always begins elitist and ends egalitarian. Always!" said Ken Wilber. Non-duality tends to unite and is comfortable holding the mystery and paradox of opposites, while duality, says Richard Rohr,"compares, competes, conflicts, conquers, condemns, cancels out, and crucifies." (275) Where will we stand? Further, as stated in Yoga Vasishta: “Satsanga enlarges one’s intelligence, destroys one’s ignorance and psychological distress.” (276) Is this happening in Satsang? If not, it may well be asked, why not?
An initiate writes:
“Sant Mat is all about the eye center. The head and not the heart.”
Part of this is because the “heart-lotus” of the Sants is the ajna center. This issue has been discussed repeatedly in this book. The heart chakra, what to speak of the causal heart center spoken of by Ramana, or the basic deep Heart of all - at the root of every 'body' (physical, astral, causal, atmic, etc.) - is hinted at but not embraced fully or spoken of in a clarifying way. A basic simplicity is missed by a focus on technicalities.
“Many initiates give priority to loving the master but treat others as secondary. That is a hallmark of a cult. It’s looking in the Master's eyes but not looking in others’ eyes.”
It seems the closer we get back to the times of Sawan, the more we find communications like this, and others such as “forget all your family relations,” and “only the Master is deserving of our love.”
In practice the Masters may give a more nuanced communication, but in big sangats it can get distorted when filtered through layers of organizational hierarchy.
“Sant Mat can easily be used as a path of spiritual bypassing the suffering of other beings (in the sangat and outside the sangat) and a greater focus needs to be put on that. Submissive and codependent behavior is encouraged by SOS and RS Beas.””
Unfortunately, this dynamic is often found in many groups. Sri Nisargadatta actually said we should have some tolerance for this, saying that for ages upon ages the people have not paid attention to themselves and their inner development, and now that they do there is some over-compensation and exaggerated egoism. But mostly this is increasingly seen as unnecessary and due to a weakness in the teaching. Perhaps the quietus could be put to much cultism if the following were better understood and communicated:
"The truth will set you free, but not until it is finished with you." - David Foster Wallace
Anekantavada: a lesson of tolerance from Jainism
We have spoken of the value in holding any views lightly in the interests of tolerance. This has always been a basic tenet of Jainism. Literally put, the word anekanta means 'not one' or 'more than one'. Therefore, the term 'anekanta-vada' means the theory of non-onesidedness or, to be more precise, 'the theory of many-sided nature of reality'. The concept of anekantavada and syadvada allows the Jains to accept the truth in other philosophies from their perspective and thus inculcating a tolerance for other viewpoints. Anekantvada is non-absolutist and stands firmly against all dogmatisms, even including the assertion that only Jainism is the right religious path! It is thus an intellectual Ahimsa. Mahavira encouraged his followers to study and understand the rival traditions as evidenced in Acaranga Sutra:
"Comprehend one philosophical view through the comprehensive study of another one" (5.113).
In Anekantvada, there is no battle over viewpoints, because this is considered to be a form of intellectual himsa or harm, leading eventually to physical violence and war. This does not mean that debate or philosophical argument has no place. An "argument" is not the same as a "quarrel." It is a rational consideration of ideas. There should be no battle or competition in a sharing and comparison of ideas, only a mutual pursuit of the truth. The limitations of the adversarial, "either with us or against us" injunction leads to political, religious and social conflicts. Sutrakritanga, the second oldest canon of Jainism, goes so far as to state: "Those who praise their own doctrines and ideology and disparage the doctrine of others distort the truth and will be confined to the cycle of birth and death." (277)
One need not agree with the strict dualism inherent the Jain belief that matter is evil and the source of all contamination and bondage of the soul, or its strict ahimsa to the extent of forbidding eating spinach or onions because it destroys the root system of the plant, or wearing a mask to avoid inhaling microscopic insects, in order to appreciate the principle of anekantavada. No religious system that has been around for 5000 years is without some truth. It may not be all right, but it is not all wrong either. And this is certainly one doctrine worth preserving.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Mental illness and the path; Getting real; Casualties; East versus West, a core difference in articulating a central problem
“Under the right teacher the disciple learns to learn, not to remember and obey. Satsang, the company of the noble, does not mould, it liberates. Beware of all that makes you dependent. Most of the so-called ‘surrenders to the Guru’ end in disappointment, if not in tragedy. Fortunately, an earnest seeker will disentangle himself in time, the wiser for the experience…Unless life is loved and trusted, followed with eagerness and zest, it would be fanciful to talk of Yoga, which is a movement in consciousness, awareness in action.” - Sri Nisargadatta (278)
This is a delicate issue and a painful one to confront or talk about. Despair, depression, schizophrenia, psychosis, and even suicide are too frequent occurrences on the path to avoid mentioning. I had not thought of including this topic in this book, but an email exchange among several satsangis prompted a change of plans. One wrote:
"Robert Leverant was a good friend and very compassionate psychotherapist. We were married on his beautiful property. Because he suffered great childhood trauma he was able to be with his patients in their exploration of their trauma. He told me that he felt that Sant Mat masters knew nothing about trauma or about psychiatric problems. He was group leader for Kirpal in the SF Bay Area. Unfortunately he developed Alzheimer’s. He had wonderful caregivers (not satsangis) and remained in his home in Sebastopol. We had good visits before he developed Alzheimer’s."
What apparently triggered the following responses from two official communicators for Sant Mat, besides the comment that the Masters did not understand trauma, was a suggestion from Robert to look at Dzogchen Master HH Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche's "Pith Instructions" for Maha Atimeditation emphasizing a goal-less approach or understanding as an alternative or accompaniment to the Sant Mat practices. (https://www.freebuddhistaudio.com/texts/meditation/Dilgo_Khyentse_Rinpoche/FBA13_Dilgo_Khyentse_Rinpoche_on_Maha_Ati.pdf) One of them said this:
"With due respect and love for my old friend, Robert Leverant, he was mistaken when he thought that “Sant Mat masters knew nothing about trauma or about psychiatric problems.” How can the All-knowing Knowers know nothing about the pain of lovers and seekers? In fact, They are the healers of trauma. One love-laden glance is enough to heal the pain of separation from the Lord, and the ten thousand miseries caused by the mind."
The other said this:
"We who are spiritually blind should not project our limitations and blindness onto to the Masters. We are but dust in the wind relying our our little minds trying to figure out the creator of All minds. I share xxx's thought in this case. A Master Soul can know the inner inner workings of anyone’s mind and even the very trend of our thoughts. Which means they know exactly what the amount of suffering a person is going through trauma included. It is our short sightedness and ego which blinds our own vision. They are the embodiment of love and mercy and extend their grace to all humanity regardless of whether one is initiated or not. You have to SEE it to believe it. However, while a Master Soul’s power is beyond human comprehension, every soul’s destiny and evolution is unique and guided by a higher laws of which we are unaware. How can a gnat on the shore of a vast ocean know the depths of the ocean. We do dishonor to ourselves and to those great souls who lie far beyond our scope to understand. Stay blessed my dear friend."
While somewhat disheartened, but not surprised, at what felt like apologetic and fundamentalist replies, I responded thusly:
"This is a major topic for understanding, imho. Blanket statements do not help us too much. I agree, xxxx, saying “(All) Sant Mat masters know nothing about these problems," is not true. But it appears that some if not more than a few haven’t known a lot about them. Being wise on the spiritual level need not grant “all-knowingness” for the human brain on the physical plane. This is a misconception of what omniscience implies, in my view. It is a fact as well that there has been a cultural clash when the eastern teachers have come to the west. Maybe it is lessening now. But one may recall that some years ago after the Dalai Lama came from Tibet he said that he just could not understand how some westerners hated themselves. It was just not in his world view. The gurus have been on a learning curve in what is often a strange new world. Robert Hall, a prominent Buddhist teacher and psychotherapist, left Maharaj Charan Singh after he felt he had made disparaging remarks about gays. Sant Darshan Singh needed an initiate to explain to him what being gay was all about. And now the trans movement - and beyond - check it out on your hospital's gender surgery webpage, "nullification" is a new operation in which everything is removed and you become nothing, neither male or female. What will the gurus ever do with that one? And what pain would ever drive someone to make that choice? It is highly unlikely that anyone had hidden desires since childhood to become that. An evil power of suggestion is at play here, over and above anyone's legitimate 'coming out.' I am not saying we are justified in judging the views of the Masters through a newly 'woke' perspective, which could lead to wisdom being reduced to mere political consensus, only that this remains a precarious situation, especially when these teachers are looked upon as omniscient or perfect by trusting disciples. To quote Brunton again on this matter:
"There is often a tendency to regard him as more than human. It is true that, in one sense and in one part of his being, he is. But that is no reason to lose all balance and lavish adulation indiscriminately upon him. For in a number of ways he is still an ordinary man...These men, however high in development and however worthy of reverence, are still only mortals. They die like us, they get ill and suffer. They do not know everything. They are even fallible. Some hold views which are arguable at least, which have been dictated or influenced by local tradition, custom, or belief rather than by God." (279)
So, yes, in theory a love-laden glance may heal one’s sense of separation. That’s what the books say. It is possible and happens rarely. Yet even Darshan Singh wrote that, having said that, he didn’t want to mislead us into thinking the path could be that easy. (I’m not saying you feel that way or that is exactly what you meant). Such glances of grace can lead - especially if one has been graced enough for their sadhana to be mostly on the subtle level, for such a life is due solely to Grace - to gross karmas being bypassed, although not necessarily transformed or purified. But many if not most are not so graced by their Masters, for various and appropriate reasons, and have much more ground-level purification to undergo - in the body. Kirpal, for just one example, gave a hint of this in his book Life and Death (originally just Wheel of Life) where he recounted an episode of Mian Mir who pulled his disciple Abdullah down from the eye-focus where he was in peace “for he could not avoid his karma by such tactics“ !
It is sad what happened to Robert. Yet even spiritual teachers have succumbed to Alzheimers and other diseases. But that might explain something for me. I sent Robert - perhaps about that time - an article I wrote entitled "On Suicide and the Spiritual Quest" [the upcoming section], an in-depth study of the issue from both a psychological and spiritual point of view. A balanced discussion, and wherein I quote many spiritual teachers’ views on suicide. I was surprised and stunned when Robert lashed out at me - in a way that I was not sure if he actually in fact had read the piece - saying, “ you are too judgemental, how do you know those peoples’ karma, etc.!” My aunt died of Alzheimer’s and got very uncharacteristically acting-out angry near the end; I am told that can happen with that disease. I’m not sure if that was the case with Robert but the fact was, what I wrote was not the least bit judgemental - on my part- but was carefully nuanced and even suggested where quite a few spiritual teachers WERE being too judgemental, for one reason or another, and I juxtaposed other views, mostly not my own. My point is that this relates to the topic of how psychological problems - even if one sees them as fundamentally spiritually based - are not always capable of being dealt with, fully understood, or at least, articulated compassionately by even the best of teachers. Which, by the way, goes for their medical as well as political viewpoints. In my opinion it is a cop-out to use the excuse that "since they are omniscient their view is always right." The fact is, great teachers disagree on a lot of things. Yes, they may be one in Christ while above but, so to speak, crossing swords down here.
How many will also take an easy way out and, for instance, answer the huge epidemic of depression and suicide and possible group karma of the Covid / Pharmaceutical era of lockdowns, social distancing, and financial stress, with lonely and hyperactive kids and a huge percentage of the adult population on anti-depressants (which increase the risk of suicide), and arguably put in place by plan and not accident by Big Pharma and other evil people [see Omniscience and Kal discussions in Part Four] with the easy answers to the problem spiritual teachers have often given in the past to more isolated cases? Maybe this is a time for the "Mauj" or "Divine Will" to change in regard to the Masters' teachings on the consequences of suicide? Such as in the theosophical saying, often repeated by the Masters, that “ if you commit suicide it is such a strong tendency you will do it for four more lives.” Which one can easily see will lead to an infinite regress, each life requiring four more lives, and so on. I’m not saying it is not a tragic thing to do, but how helpful are such teachings, and do we even know that they are true?"
Further emails revealed a long list of casualties in those in struggles on the path. Almost from the beginning of the modern era of Sant Mat, suicides have occurred even while resident at the centers at Beas (the Dera), Delhi (Sawan and Kirpal Ashrams), Naperville (SOS), and outside of these centers on too many occasions. Too often the response is to cover it up or act as if it didn’t - or couldn’t - happen. Sant Mat is not alone in this. Even Ramana's ashram was not immune. In addition, satsangis have become psychotic and even demonically possessed while meditating for long periods. This was a sore subject for Baba Faqir Chand who criticized Beas for making followers psychotic and thereby possibly causing suicides among initiates that he saw at the Dera. Darshan Singh had to send at least two initiates - one a sevadar from Africa who saw demons and became violent after meditating all night, and another who went psychotic and later jumped off the Golden Gate Bridge - to mental institutions, with instructions not to return to the ashram. He is reported to have said, "There but for the grace of God go I." One Kirpal initiate suicided while with Darshan in 1984 because he felt that Kirpal had abandoned him because of his sexuality (he had had a vasectomy). He actually flew to Darshan Singh's ashram to seek his help, but was too guilt-ridden to ask for it. A double tragedy. Could this have been prevented? Who can say? The message over sexuality has seen a softening of the traditional stance by the gurus over the past fifty years. Kirpal was a great Master, but fairly old-school. He would often repeat, "chastity is life, sexuality is death." And, "if you want children, have one or two contacts." To a Neptune in Scorpio generation this was definitely a hard precept to accept or follow. The reasoning given was basically a yogic one of preserving ojas and any outflow of the attention that would detract from one's ability to go within in meditation. Kirpal did, however, tell a well-known lady initiate to have sex with her non-initiate husband, in the better interests of maintaining love in their relationship - she however refused, even with her husband standing there! - but I wonder if he ever told a male initiate to have sex with his non-initiate wife for the same reasons, given that now a loss of ojas would be a factor? Actually, there is a confusion between ojas as the life force and ojas as the male seed. Kirpal did say that “with lust the soul sinks very low,” but also stressed that the seed is the valuable essence of the blood and should be conserved for health and vitality. Darshan Singh said both men and women lose ojas during sex, so he didn’t seem to equate ojas with the seed. I don’t know for sure, but I suspect that women would lose less ojas than men because they are more naturally in the body than men. This is just a hypothetical question and not a criticism.The gurus who came to the west were on a learning curve here, as we all were. Even "radical" Faqir Chand often advised men who came to him to be celibate for 5-6 years before talking up their sadhana, and said those who had too much sex when they were young would not progress spiritually when they were older. That used to be standard yogic advice, but it is pretty discouraging for those who come to the path after their early years are past and have a guru who did not offer spirit-baptism (i.e.initiation) - and criticized those gurus who did - which might offer some forgiveness for ones youthful transgressions!
While some of the books do caution against an exaggerated asceticism leading to neurosis, advocating for a gradual sublimation of desires, many readers apparently missed this and were confused by the contrast with much of the public teaching and suffered accordingly from a more or less dissociative life-negative message. No one is arguing against a reasonable and ethical modicum of self-restraint, but obviously if one’s path is exclusively conceived as “going in and up”, then sex can only be seen as going “down and out”. And then love and lust are held at arm’s length and we then battle like monastics with a puritanical asceticism, with inevitable casualties. But then, to be fair, there were casualties aplenty among disciples of the more sexually liberated gurus such as Adi Da and Rajneesh (Osho), so who is to say where the better track record lies?
A young Ajaib initiate in Sebastopol died from jumping. A suicidal woman at the Dera in Beas was told by a guru to “stop feeling sorry for yourself,” as if depression didn’t exist, or was just a “first world” problem. A friend of mine saw two people go psychotic while there, and knew two Charan Singh initiates who committed suicide. A therapist initiate at Naperville emailed me after one or two suicides happened a few years back, saying, "it's brutal out there." Two initiates also committed suicide at Sawan Ashram in the summer of 1973, one by hanging, thought to be because he thought Master Kirpal had directed him to give up his love of playing a musical instrument, and one by overdosing with a bottle of pills, who had also given up his guitar. The latter, who I wrote about in Appendix 1, had a long history of depression and mental problems, and was overwhelmed with the feeling of his spiritual 'density.' He also spoke about not playing his guitar anymore. Our friend, the late beloved Leon Ponce, in 1973 also gave up his classical guitar-playing because he didn't think it was spiritual. Thankfully he turned out all right. I doubt Kirpal told any of these souls not to play their music, but the impression must have been created somewhere. This should not happen, and yes, there was likely more to it than that. Hopefully this will not happen too much anymore, as life-positive attitudes prevail throughout the greater spiritual culture. But for people with pre-existing problems a path that advises a form of transcendence and inversion (i.e., "rise above body-consciousness"), however positively portrayed, can be a potent mix.
A friend writes:
"There are also others I could mention. We had, for example, many schizophrenics in our Kirpal group in Boston and New England in the 1970’s….some died, some are still suffering, fifty years later."
Apart from these extreme cases, there are many hundreds of 'sub-clinical' cases of depression and despair scattered throughout the sangats. We will suggest reasons why this may happen shortly, but excessive meditation of a certain kind, unrealistic overall expectations, an overly-dualistic model of the path, and a concomitant confusion over human sexuality are common factors. There is an overall impression sometimes conveyed that you are 'wrong' or in some way fundamentally 'flawed' if you are not getting along well in your practice, with attendant shame and guilt. As a friend of mine wrote:
"I often attend Satsang here with XXXX, but am a black-listed visitor. At times, when the liturgy becomes too much for me, I withdraw to avoid discomfort of the main message that “If you do not rise above in your meditations and meet the Radiant Form in this life, your life is a complete waste"....Yes, I also think more should be done to educate and care for Western disciples on the mental and also physical levels. But then, a tenant of the liturgy is that the Path doesn’t deal with the five lower chakras, and idealistically tries to jump over them to delver the aspirants to the Third Eye Center for direct contact with Reality….which of course, few if any even can achieve."
We are not blaming the gurus personally - in most cases. When you mix an unbalanced psyche with an exclusive focus on the third eye, however, it can be a recipe for disaster, such as a psychotic break. People on other paths, such as Self-Realization Fellowship, Christianity, or Kundalini Yoga, who meditate on the third eye have also gone psychotic. Why? It is obvious and makes complete sense, you get locked up in your own private world in the head, ignoring the navel as well as the heart, and fundamental delusions including that of feeling a 'spirit-matter split', become magnified. Paradoxically, imo, the strange thing is that there is no love without befriending and owning the body, a notion that which is often missing in this particular form of teaching.
In addition, it is a fact that, for the most part,
"Even the gurus, however reputed and respected, can teach and lead others only by the path along which they themselves came. Their work can be helpful, valuable, encouraging; but at a certain point, where apprenticeship must give way to proficiency, it can become repetitive and restrictive." (280)
How much encouragement for that is given or allowed on paths with big sanghas and little personal instruction? Not enough, and that can be a real problem, with many faling through the cracks.
Apart from mental illness, there can be simply a despair or disappointment with what seems like an unattainable goal at odds with ones descended incarnate life. And for these reasons there is a need for education of seekers on how to maintain balance, spiritually, psychologically and even physically. Faqir Chand and his successor Kamal Dayal, for example, taught ways of being grounded before and during meditation. Much more needs to be done. Yes, it is a big problem to think we can just ignore the lower five chakras. There may be some people who should not be meditating. When I was at Wisdom's Goldenrod Center near Ithaca, New York, in the early '70's, the group leader there, Anthony Damiani, said that people who were mediumistically inclined (and thereby prone to possession, or psychic invasion), and also those mentally unbalanced, should not meditate, but rather, do simple prayer and manual labor, maybe gardening, etc., and get the proper help. Once restored to basic normality they might return to a meditation practice. Yet this is a catch-22 in many groups where one is convinced he is going to the pit if he does not meditate all the time. A big problem. When radical faith on God is needed, it is often not welcomed or embraced.
There are definitely stages of any journey. Mixing or misreading guidance across different stages has clearly driven many satsangis either completely crazy or/and into the diseases of narrow-mindedness and arrogance, and also even against sensitivity to their own intuition as coming from the "negative power." The fault lies partly to the gurus if they do not recognize and explain this, and partly in the students in not trusting their own process. The one must let the student be on their own when ready, and the other needs the courage and freedom to take the leap into spiritual independence.
The issue, however, is not just about trauma recognition. My friend continues:
"But I am not sure if "recognized trauma" is the main issue because I believe we all carry trauma in our subconscious minds, our shadow selves. This is partly from our personal experiences in this life but even more so from genetic inheritance from our ancestors."
Right, there’s more than recognizable trauma, certainly from this life only. Mark who has helped me on some parts of the material in this book said to me that maybe 80% of our pain is from past karma. Therefore some of us should be cautious in trying to dig too much to find the roots of all that, and there needs to be much tolerance and compassion in this area.
"This takes the form of crippling guilt, incapacitating shyness or freezing fear…which bubble up into thoughts that cause rapid negative reactions and misunderstanding in everyday life."
Kirpal, to repeat again, did say that “the subconscious reservoir of impressions must be thoroughly drained out before it can be filled with love of the Lord/Master.” He also said once, “how long will you keep that pain within you?” So there was an acknowledgement of these matters. The only problem is that it wasn't fully explain how that was to be done, and the metaphor is not exact, for reservoir as such can never be thoroughly “drained out”, our creativity lies there, too, and lastly, more often than not there was still inadvertently continued reinforcement of our 'wrongness', and to just keep plugging away at the third eye does not alwaysdo a whole lot to encourage such a healing process.
But there is a point here. Negative thinking implants in the subconscious, and builds on itself. The mystic Daskalos describes this esoterically in the following manner:
"When something gets implanted in one's subconscious it tends to reach the surface of consciousness and presses for repetition. From our perspective we say that one projects an elemental which eventually returns to its source. It then absorbs energy from the etheric-double of the individual and becomes stronger. These habits and obsessions subconsciously become imprinted on the psycho-noetic [i.e., subtle] body. When the vibrations of these elementals are very intense, they can cause damage to the brain. These are sometimes the consequences of so-called mental illness and schizophrenia...Suppose that a person dies and we meet him in the psychic world. Will he still be insane? No. You may ask how could this be possible since the violent vibration is part of the self-conscious personality which includes the psycho-noetic body. The personality as a whole vibrates violently but outside the prison-house of the material body and its brain no infirmity can be manifested. Violent vibrations in themselves do not lead to madness. Madness is the inability of the material brain and the solar plexus to express the inner condition of the psycho-noetic body." (281)
In other words, forms of mental illness, then, as well as "kundalini syndrome" [an influx of shakti energy resulting from premature opening of psychic centers], are due to an inability for the physical body to handle such strong vibrations. Thus, a transformation of the life vehicle is generally needed for a stable spiritual awakening. This is a gradual process. Nor is it something one can "do." One can, however, recognize when it is called for, and when in fact it is what is happening. Active endurance of the heat or tapas involved is up to the individual. To be overly concerned with all of it is, however, to "add a second arrow to a first," as the Buddha said. That is to say, to take it all too seriously and rigidly believe in our beliefs, whatever they are, only adds fuel to our spiraling into personal ego-despair, ego-mistreatment, complaints, and eventually finding that "something is very wrong." So go easy with yourself, dear one; all will be well. It is only the reel of destiny, of karma, that is working itself to an end.
"I believe we are all living in this unconscious, destructive situation of ignorance, which is not mentioned or addressed by the Masters, except xxxx, whose approach (to me) has a Western orientation, which takes matter out of the mystery-magic-victim orientation into a scientific perspective, as credited to Kirpal. His lead from Sawan was to present spirituality in scientific terms…predictable and repeatable, which he always did..Although His language style was often confusing and misleading for us."
Kirpal long ago wrote in a well-known circular letter that "It has rightly been said that for want of humility the world would have long ago committed suicide." So true, yet unfortunately also something easily made by the wounded satsangi into another form of guilt - for not being humble enough. The role of the teaching and its practice is not made clear and complete for the modern soul. Therefore, there is much more we need to say on the important issue at hand. But first, though, a general note on a key contrast between Eastern and Western teachings, which can be part of the difficulty in a disciple's carry-through and successful navigation of their path, is necessary. We have been pointing to it in many ways both throughout this section and in the book as a whole.
"East versus West: a core difference in articulating a central problem"
Adyashanti spoke, in a seminar talk "The Epidemic of Unworthiness," of Eastern teachings in general - with some exceptions - of having conceived of the problem of unenlightenment as more or less one of "an innocent misunderstanding," whereas, in the West there is a fundamental feeling of woundedness, and a sense of unworthiness, that cuts much deeper to the bone. Thus we have today many attracted to the simplicity of advaita, for instance, with a promise of awakening being largely a cognitive understanding or insight, with the emotive domain often bypassed. And people even with various awakenings wonder why they may still be in pain. The situation in yoga is a little different, but with often both the cognitive and emotive domains overlooked, or at least treated in an overly idealistic and simplistic way. Bernadette Roberts writes succinctly of this situation:
"Hinduism does not seem to take into account any gradual or radical transforming process - one that entails real suffering and true grit. Rather, it takes a gigantic leap from statements of the problem (the false self) to statements of a liberated self or Atman. The eastern religions give the impression that the major problem to be overcome (the false self) is just a matter of intellectual or mental ignorance. If we can just see or understands how it works, then, suddenly, one day we will be free of the false self and land in a state of unending bliss."
"I realize that no contemplative path wants to advertise the cross or the suffering entailed in the crossing over. On the other hand we must not be naive about this or in any way mislead others. The truth is that getting to the other shore will stretch the human limits to the breaking point, and not once, but again and again. Who can take it? It is not for nothing that the cross is the central Christian symbol."
"Although we might say that the result of the falling away of the ego center is a shift from"I" consciousness to the "we" or "us" consciousness (self and the divine, that is), the real drama, change and struggle of transaformation takes place in the feeling-self...In the end, the knowing-self will fall away, but for the length of the journey it is the feeling-self that is constantly undergoing change and diminution." (282)
For Roberts, one does not just jump into a realization of "no-self" without first undergoing a transformation of the ego-self into the true or divine self, or the image of God within us, so to speak. Ramana might say that it is true that the ego-self is realized to be unreal, but only when the obstructions (vasanas) to its realization are eradicated. In both cases, for Westerners at least, this is mostly a transformation in the feeling nature, which requires an acceptance of the body and not its denial. In terms of mental illness, salvation lies in the body, not out of it. At times this may require a relative "descent", which, however, mystics usually detest. The Sant tradition does speak about suffering, but often in a dissociative way that avoids dealing with the descended life or lower chakras: i.e., "Tears in the eyes and pain in the heart are the two pillars through which we pass to go within." (The Philosophy of the Masters, Series Two) This statement is fine, unless it is interpreted in a way that, while leading to a life without perhaps much unnecessary suffering, encourages the avoidance of necessary suffering also - i.e., "the self you didn't want to realize."
CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
ON SUICIDE AND THE SPIRITUAL QUEST - a deep dive into the heart of existential despair; Dark nights of the soul versus psychological problems; Practical steps that may help; When spiritual practice may be part of the problem; Traditional admonitions often given: helpful or harmful; “I will never leave you”; Non-traditional perspectives; No standard punishment, on the other hand karma must be considered; Positive, hopeful views; Terminal illness; Special cases; The story of the Fifth and Sixth Patriarchs; Progression to non-dual realization and beyond; Final words of hope
Disclaimer: The following is not medical advice, for which the reader should consult his healthcare professional. We only offer an overview of the subject from the point of view of those engaged in a spiritual practice. Suicide, whether such an urge be in the spiritual seeker or average human being, has little chance of being dealt with outside of relationship. Which means either reaching out, or intervention.
“Poor human nature, in its dislike of suffering looks longingly for the end. The important matter is to gather the fruit of the Cross.” - deCaussade
“Blessed is the man that endureth temptation: for when he is tried, he shall receive the crown of life, which the Lord hath promised to them that love him.” - James 1:12
“If there were no suffering, how could the desire to be happy arise? If that desire did not arise, how could the quest of the Self be successful?” - Ramana Maharshi
It is a well-known story that the famous Tibetan adept was brought to the brink of total despair eight times by his guru Marpa as atonement for his evil deeds. Even so, Marpa lamented that if he could have plunged his favored disciple into utter hopelessness one more time he would have saved him many years of suffering. Yet throughout his ordeal Milarepa never fundamentally lost faith in his master, and went on to become one of Tibet's most illustrious spiritual heroes. This type of situation is particularly evident in schools where the Satguru or Master - with the chela's implicit or explicit permission - plays an intimate and crucial role in the latter's complete transformation, and where the disciple may have exquisite extremes of experience, possibly for years, not undergone by the average person or seeker. As written by Irena Tweedie, chronicling the ordeals she underwent with her Sufi master Bhai Sahib:
"There is only one Teacher; only one Spiritual Guide in the whole world for us. For only he alone is allowed to subject a free human being to sufferings and conditions; only he, and nobody else...Ancient karmas form part and parcel of the blood. It was in you. It would have dragged you back again and again into the womb, but from now on it will burn itself out. From time to time this fire will burn in your body. This is purifying fire, this suffering, and you will need a lot more."
"But..Bhai Sahib...I am afraid of new sufferings you may give me; it seems I have had enough of them by now." "Sufferings?" he asked. "You have not begun yet! It has still to come. On our line such suffering is given that there are no words for it....[But] if you knew what I have in mind for your future, you would never cry, never be upset."
"I remember L. telling me that the disciple is subjected to such states of loneliness and longing that it could be almost suicidal. A great Master is needed to get the disciple through this state of separation...Then I noticed: the Great Separation was here...It is useless to try to describe it to someone who has never experienced it. It is a peculiar, special feeling of utter loneliness. I use the word 'special' intentionally, because it cannot be compared to any kind of feeling of loneliness we all experience sometimes in our lives." (283)
"I am in complete darkness. I am in silence. My heart is crying for You. It is said that in silence and in darkness grows the seed. In all the Sufi books it is mentioned that after moments of great Nearness the heart is plunged in loneliness and even great depression sometimes." (284)
This is similar to the Bible passage, "Before the soul is exalted, it is humbled, and before it is humbled, it is exalted." [Prv. 18:12])
What Tweedie described is an existential crisis, somewhat peculiar to but not solely reserved for various devotional or bhakti paths, that is often not so easily resolved by forms of mental inquiry as some teachers and teachings today might suggest. Its roots lie deep in the soul, and is even suggested may be earned by the quester, perhaps as a gift at the hand of a true Master. Many others seekers have faced a similar bitter situation, even to the point of contemplating suicide, including Paul Brunton (PB), Muhammed, Elijah, Sri Ramakrishna, Rumi, St. Therese of Lisieux, Tukaram, Swami Rama Tirtha, and countless other saints and ordinary souls. Including Bhai Sahib mentioned above. Tweedie wrote that she told him that several times she was in such a despair that she felt like committing suicide. He replied: "I was in this state many times with my Rev. Guru Maharaj. He never spoke to me in a kindly way...Many, many times...Now I can laugh, but then...it was not a laughing matter." (285)
“When life in the world becomes so formidable or so frightening that in desperation or bewilderment, panic or mental imbalance, the idea of suicide seems the only way out, then the time has come for a man to cast his burdens on the higher power.” (286) - Brunton
< A great difficulty germane to the spiritual quest - although not exclusive to it - is that periods of purification sometimes so extreme may arise where one may touch upon early life experiences when he very well may have been in a near death situation, at birth or in early childhood; at such times the tendency to suicide may be very near.
So a discussion of this issue, albeit an uncomfortable one, is appropriate and necessary here. Be assured that many noble ones have gone through such a bleak passage and time of great suffering, and many have reached and passed through such a point as he may find himself in. The current essay likewise attempts to be exhaustive - and perhaps exhausting - demanding as much of the reader as it did from the writer.
There are approximately one million suicides each year, and between ten and twenty million attempts, so it is a serious issue on this Earth - the so-called 'dustbin of the zodiac', a place where it is said hard lessons are learned and rapid spiritual progress is possible. The topic at hand is a most sensitive one, with serious consequences, and there is nothing but compassion for those bent down by overmuch pain, whether for spiritual purposes, the ripening karma of lifetimes - or a traumatic upbringing (287) (including one of the most pervasive yet invisible traumas such as a catastrophic birth) which has set up an imprint towards fear, self-hate, and the lack of the impulse to struggle against odds, a quality so needed to endure all that life brings our way. This article addresses the issue from several perspectives, including that of terminal illness. it is not a 911 manual, but addressed primarily but not exclusively to spiritual seekers brought low by their chosen destiny who still have the light of hope, however dim, and are in need of help. We first offer some insight into the spiritual aspects of pain, then practical guidance for dealing with negative thoughts and healing wounded feelings, followed by the words of many traditional sages on the subject, both comforting and sobering - albeit seemingly harsh - and lastly, some newer material with a more positive, non-judgemental perspective on both the motives and consequences of suicide.
Some dimensions of the quest: existential and psychological pain
As a starting point, it might be said that there is conventional psychological pain, and a particular variety of this known in its pure form only by those on the spiritual quest. The two are in fact often combined.
At times of more strictly, spiritual ‘purgation’ - when the ego of a percentage of devoted souls is severely tested and confronted with its apparent demise - and which we are not speaking of an event that is the effect of one lifetime alone - nor which must occur for everyone - we are reminded of the words of St. John of the Cross:
"When this Divine contemplation assails the soul with a certain force, in order to strengthen it and subdue it, it suffers such pain in its weakness that it nearly swoons away..for sense and spirit, as if beneath some immense and dark load, are in such great pain and agony that the soul would find advantage and relief in death." (288)
PB states:
"There is.. an unpredictable element in the pattern of human life, which increases rather than decreases as the quality of that life rises above average. We see it markedly in the case of a maturing aspirant who has to undergo tests and endure ordeals which have no karmic origin but which are put across his path by his own higher self for the purpose of a swifter forward movement. They are intended to promote and not delay his growth, to accelerate and not impede his development. But they will achieve this purpose only if he recognizes their true aim." (289)
Sant Darshan Singh writes:
"We are people of little faith and fail to recognize and appreciate the hand which guides and which sustains. Hazur (Baba Sawan Singh Ji) used to say that once a saint has taken a soul under his wing, he is keen to compress the progress of twenty births into a single one. And if we desire to pack the accomplishments of twenty lives into a single one, we must pay for it." (290)
PB similar writes:
"If his evolutionary need should require it, he will be harassed by troubles to make him less attached to the world, or by sickness to make him less attached to the body. It is then not so much a matter of receiving self-earned destiny as of satisfying that need. Both coincide usually but not always and not necessarily. Nor does this happen with the ordinary man so much as it does with the questing man, for the latter has asked or prayed for speedier development." (291)
Yet many great beings have unanimously proclaimed the value of such periods of trial for the mature soul; the following quotes are powerful:
"That which hurts, but is profitable, is drunk by the wise like medicine. For the result,
afterwards attained, becomes incomparable." - Nagarjuna
< “What hurts you, blesses you. Darkness is your candle. Your boundaries are your quest. I could explain this, but it will break the glass cover on your heart, and there's no fixing that.”
"If he could see his nothingness and his deadly, festering wound, pain would arise from looking within, and that pain would save him." - Rumi (292)
"The Overself knows what you are, what you seek, and what you need...We sometimes wonder whether we can bear more, but no experience goes too far until it crushes the ego out of a man, renders him as helpless as the dying person feels." - PB (293)
"The spiritual being will be born in the human soul, provided one willingly takes upon oneself the burden and pain caused by Divine Love."
“The body is like Mary. Each of us has a Jesus, but so long as no pain appears, our Jesus is not born. If pain never comes, our Jesus goes back to his place of origin on the same secret path he had come, and we remain behind, deprived and without a share of him.” - Meister Eckhart (294)
This section, as mentioned, is basically about suicide from the point of view of the spiritual practitioner. Truly speaking, however, everyone is such a person at one level or another. We are all Spirit. As such we will not over-emphasize the offering of psychological advice, trying rather to point out some words of the wise on the matter and offer a few resources for one who finds themself in such a position. It is far too easy, moreover, to just say, as has traditionally been done, that it is the worst option possible. It may in fact not be, according to some wise sources, yet there is much understanding that needs to go along with saying that. In the meantime, one needs to know that there is help, both visible and invisible, even though one may have seemingly tried all of the help he can find.
There is a fine line sometimes between a classic dark night of the soul, and a purely psychological issue. As spiritual beings, however, the latter is never solely the case. And in this day and age - not five hundred years ago, when St. John wrote his treatise - the 'fine line' may be gradually disappearing. It appears as is many souls are now incarnating with the intention of healing old wounds, which some argue has little or nothing to do with the quest or enlightenment; we feel otherwise, that the karmic clearing and the conscious awakening are not water-tight compartments, but interrelated. In any case, the pain of a person maybe as severe, be he conscious questor or not, only the understanding may differ. Therefore, in both cases, a purely psychological tack will not always work. Most often, a mixed approach is best: physical, mental, psychological, and spiritual. Having said that, it must be accepted that there is little in life that is as it seems, and much happening beneath the surface. And further, we are overestimating ourselves if we take responsibility for the suicide of another. Sometimes it just can't be helped, and the loved one must be held in a state of acceptance and compassion.
There are, however, many good, practical resources on this topic - of healing old and current wounds - regardless if one sees them as a symptom of holding a wrong view of the self, or a karmic momentum exascerbated by a harsh upbringing. We will mention some of those sources shortly. For those on the path, specifically, there are existential dimensions to the quest that can bring up powerful feelings of despair at times, in part because such a one has asked for speedier development. That is one reason why it has traditionally been warned that there be respect for the ‘lions at the temple’s gate,’ before embarking on a spiritual journey. The benign company of the Master may be behind that which, while felt as a disaster, is really a healing in progress. “One does not begin to discover his spiritual miseries until they begin to be cured,” said the wise Fenelon. And it might even be said that one might to beware of approaching such characters unless one is somewhat prepared to confront Truth rather than just personal satisfaction. Sri Nisargadatta spoke these fierce words:
"The inner guru is not committed to non-violence. He can be quite violent at times, to the point of destroying the obtuse or perverted personality. Suffering and death, as life and happiness, are his tools of work. It is only in duality that non-violence becomes the unifying law." (295)
Disciples, sometimes close ones, of greats such as even Ramana Maharshi, Kirpal Singh, and more than a few other well-respected adepts, have committed suicide or gone schizophrenic, and while such events are rare and unfortunate and no intentional fault of the teachers, considering the thousands of disciples they have have had (and who also do not make it a common practice to 'spiritually invade' a person for their own good, and more often than not 'tone down' their transmission to more naturally interact with others), many more persons no doubt have faced great inner turmoil as their 'psychic wiring gets a restructuring' due to the effect of such potent company. The great teachers try their best to modulate their influence according to the needs of the student, but we would be dishonest if we failed to mention the existence of casualties along the way. Wherefore it has traditionally sometimes been advised that one not even approach such characters or embark on the journey if he is not prepared to go all the way, as deep wounds are opened that must eventually be healed. Aadi states:
"Suffering is a fundamental characteristic of the earthly dimension. It does not occur exclusively during times of misfortune - it is the permanent shadow of the unawakened self...It is an existential condition so chronic in nature that unawakened minds simply cannot detect it...It is better not to begin the spiritual journey if we are not ready to complete it - better not to open the wound of unconsciousness if we are not determined to heal it fully." (296)
It is likely that those reading a piece such as this have likely already chosen to go a ways down this road. Just as a preliminary suggestion, before we get down to the heart of this article, are offered a few insightful resources that may help those people teetering on the brink.
Practical steps that may help
Effort has been made to present much in the following pages to offer perspective, and consolation. If personal strength, a glimmer of hope, and healthy doubt of oneself are still there, the following practical considerations and words of sages may prove useful, to both the would-be suicide and loved ones. Otherwise one may simply take this as information to be assimilated and filed away for a future that hopefully will never come.
We are not writing now of the nature of the ultimate self, or whether the ego is real or not. This is 'street talk' for the wounded and bewildered. One approach to therapy to get one past a rough patch, more mature than most in that it respects relative wisdom while striving to keep a spiritual perspective in mind, also avoiding what has come to be known as “spiritual bypassing” - using a spiritual path as a way of avoiding life, common among seekers for whom often the fear of life is greater than even the fear of death - is described in the following excerpt from The Sacred Mirror: Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy, in which one both supports and does not support the conditional or ego-self:
"We meet the client where they are. If they believe that they have a problem, and certainly there will be compelling evidence to support such an interpretation, we join them there and begin the process of intimately exploring what the actual experience of the "problem" is. As apparent problems are gradually unpacked and clients deepen in their self-intimacy, they will eventually encounter a profound sense of emptiness that has been fiercely defended against. They discover that their prior problems were all outcomes from and compensatory expressions of this defense against what at first appears to be annihilation and in time reveals itself as unconditional love. When we believe that we are not enough, we think, feel, and act in all kinds of ways that create suffering for ourselves and others. Yet even this avoidance of emptiness is not seen as a problem. It is simply a misunderstanding of our true nature that is fundamentally empty - of everything we have taken to be true about ourselves and the world. This misunderstanding is also part of the divine play. Facing emptiness either will or will not occur depending upon the motivation and readiness of the client. It is not up to the therapist, who is free of any agenda, to change things as they are." (297)
Jeff Brown, in the book Soulshaping, speaks of 'ascending with both feet on the ground.' For the soul will always come back for what is left behind. He writes:
"Although appearing spiritual, bypassers are actually cut off from various aspects of reality. By turning away from old pain, they shackle themselves with their unresolveds. With their head in the clouds, they cannot see where they are walking. This may be a tool for survival for a time, but real growth demands that we come back down to earth and face our demons. We have to grow down, to grow up...Any movement away from reactivity is a movement towards our truth...Knowing why you do something is not enough to heal you...If we do not deal with the emotional body itself, there is very little chance of healing our defensive patterns...In some sense, the word enlightenment is misleading. It is no more about the light than the dark. In Carl Jung's words, "One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious." Resisting the shadow just makes it darker. We must turn toward it - honor the nervous breakthrough with great regard! - so that we can taste the reality that waits on the other side. It is not about becoming permanently blissful. It is about becoming more authentic, more genuinely here. It is about holding the light and the shadow all at once. Perhaps we should call it enrealenment, or enheartenment? Moving forward on the path demands that we develop a positive, working relationship with our discomfort. In a distracted world, pain is a direct portal to the real. In addition to the lessons it teaches us, it can open the gate to Buddhaland." (298)
He issues a caveat:
"On the healing journey, many of us devote a lot of our energy to healing our trauma. Sometimes we are focussed on our pain for many years without experiencing any real pleasure. But when we are ready, we have to remember to invite pleasure into our daily experience. Good feelings are a manifestation of our healing, but they are also essential to it. Pleasure nourishes and strengthens us. This is often missed in the therapeutic movement." (299)
This is important. The darkness can only ultimately be shed by bringing in more light. It is not all about making the darkness conscious. The spiritual path is also one of Hope. That is why a relationship with a Master who is the embodiment of that Light is such a help, if one be so fortunate. We all need help for embracing the kind of wound, the emptiness, 'that only God can heal'. PB writes:
"It is not within the power of man to finish either the purificatory work or its illumination-sequel: his Overself, by its action within his psyche, must bring this about. This activating power is grace."
And:
"Ask for your share of the divine nectar and it shall not be withheld from you. Indeed, those who have turned from the peaceful hearth that is their due, to move through the gloomy houses of men to dispense it, have done so because of the dark flood of secret tears that break daily through the banks of human life." (300)
In its most pathological form, a result of deep imprints from birth, or many repeated such births with the creation of negative elemental thought-forms surrounding the self, the fear of life - also found in many 'spiritual bypassers' in a lesser form - can become something reminiscent of the "sickness unto death" written of by Kierkegaard:
This is certainly about as low as one can go. And in a quite distinct tempered-by-faith manner even great contemplatives have faced this feeling. But sadly as a negative trajectory this has often been reinforced in the traditions. In the Divine Comedy Dante reserved the seventh deepest out of nine levels of the Inferno for those who commit suicide, who were then “transformed into thorny trees that were ripped apart by Harpies.” Other spiritual teachers have also spoken forcefully, if not harshly, about persons in this category, which we will get to shortly.
It is, unfortunately, very difficult to impart the will to live to somebody who no longer possesses it. We know that. No amount of logic, reasoning, or reminders about all they have to live for will likely put a smile back on the face of a loved one who is seriously contemplating suicide. Yet even for the bleakest of cases there is hope. There are said to be guardian angels and many benign and helpful presences looking over each and every soul, besides human help and that of the masters. One needs only the will, the faith, to remain open to it. And even if one doesn't have that, the help will still be there. There is no predicting the ultimate outcome of a personal action. Those who have been on a spiritual path may also be facing not only the above disappointments but also the regret or disillusionment of not having made the progress they were hoping for, of feeling lost, being separate from their master or even their own soul. That such is not the real truth may be little comfort at such an impasse. We will visit the point about one's form of practice itself being an impediment in a little while.
There are, nevertheless, several things that many can still do before the most dire, critical point is reached. One is, as suggested, to (carefully), in relationship with a trusted counsellor, feelingly explore the roots of his pain, particularly that which is deeply repressed or denied, and try to put words to it. If one feels deeply enough the words will come by themselves. This is important to create a conscious connection between different levels of the brain. Feeling basic, primal feelings such as fear, sorrow, shame, and anger (which are covered over by what can be called 'protectors', such as boredom, doubt, discomfort, procrastination, avoidance, shyness), and ultimately the hurt and need that underlies them, enables much of ones current story that has been overlaid or constructed as a defense against these feelings to begin to dissipate. However, this may be too difficult at an extreme juncture. And it has the danger that it may increase identification with the very imbedded story that is fueling the continuation of the pain. Scott Kiloby addresses this with some wise advice in two short talks, Coming out of the Deficiency Closet (www.youtube.com/watch?v=YolLejk_tVc&feature=related) and Suffering Consciously (www.youtube.com/watch?v=en3nNlSdN9E&feature=related). He advises directly allowing the feelings, the suffering, without trying to make it go away, but not to put words to it. This has its advantages for some in that it keeps one out of the analyzing and ruminating head. However, there is also something to say for putting words to it and connecting the heart (feelings) and the head (understanding). Repressed feelings have meanings encoded in them. Making them conscious is key. Moreover, there is a difference between describing, uncovering, and releasing feelings and dwelling on them. This is a large topic beyond the scope of this article. A good book on the subject is The Mandala of Being by Richard Moss.
Non-dual teacher Jeff Foster writes about deep listening and acceptance as a key when offering support for persons facing depression and/or suicide, that may help clarify the nature of the self that wants to die and the self that really wants to live (www.lifewithoutacentre.com/read/essays-transcripts/divine-suicide-depressive-breakdown-as-a-call-to-awakening).
This is really a very important point in regards to spiritual seekers, especially those who are nearing or who have had a glimpse beyond the consciousness of the empirical ego, in contrast to those persons who have not. In either case deep feelings of wanting to die may arise. But for the seeker, there is often a fine line between feeling like one is dying and really wanting to live. Ramaji explains:
“Suicidal depression in which there is the thought “I cannot live anymore in this painful state” keeps appearing as a pattern in modern day times. Eckhart Tolle awakened this way. Jeff Foster awakened this way. One of my students also awakened this way…What I learned from the student who went through this process is that the thought pattern was spiritually precise. It was not an ordinary suicide drama, a call for attention motivated by self-pity and narcissism. The specific thought pattern was “I cannot stand this I anymore. I want this I to die !” Looked at closely, this is a revelation. A differentiation is being made between one I, the false I, and another I, the true I. At this [pre-awakening] stage, it is not necessary to know who the true I is. What is needed is to know that “you” are not the false I. In this knowing, an urgency for the death of the false I escalates. The student who explained this process so eloquently to me also pointed out that the depression functioned in a positive way, fixing and stabilizing the mind. A typical problem for students is that the mind jumps around and will not focus. In the case of depression, the weight of that state holds the mind down, rubbing its face as it were in its own negative poop.” (302)
But it gets complicated. For a more advanced seeker the abatement of the empirical ego through an awakening or spiritual glimpses can permit a deep psychic ‘housecleaning’ that just was not possible before. Even so it may be extremely difficult, calling on much active endurance. For those not so stabilized, however, the eruption of unconscious content along with negative thought patterning can bring on serious feelings of being overwhelmed. So great sympathy and understanding are needed, for both ourselves and others.
Another approach for this ground-level work, basic psychological sadhana, is a more cognitive one. Here one observes his thought patterns, again becoming conscious of his protectors, as well as habitual modes of mentalizing, such as "catastrophizing," "black or white thinking","emotional reasoning", "mind-reading", "inferiority", "superiority", "not good enough", etc.. This can also be combined with mindfulness, and, in fact, is a psychological off-shoot of the mindfulness tradition. These lead him to the next necessary thing, which is to act in new ways to make these habits what could be called "obsolete by non-use." A key technique here is "opposite action," or "act as if." For example, if one is always avoiding something, he would go and do it anyway in spite of his fear. This may take many tries. But eventually, as Mark Twain said, "Do the thing you fear most and the death of fear is certain." The point is that taking action eventually will create new feelings, which are more transformative than only changing thought patterns.
A participant in a Twelve-Step program had this to say about the power of 'opposite action':
“What I've learned is that taking action is almost always the gateway into feeling better. Rarely have I been able to think my way into different behavior or results, instead it's only when I take action (especially when I don't want to) that things begin to shift, and I begin feeling better.The program, like life, doesn't work when I'm into thinking, only when I'm into action. It's interesting how, even with this knowledge and experience, my mind still tells me not to do the things that will make me feel better. Often I'd rather watch TV than go to a meeting, rest after work than go to the gym, procrastinate rather than take action. The good news, though, is that it always works out for the best when I go ahead and take action anyway. Whenever I bring my body, my mind always follows...” (303)
"Do the thing and you shall have the power," adds Emerson. What power? A power of the Soul. Develop that power and you regain your Soul, says Anthony Damiani. And, as someone once said, "in order to change one not only must be sick and tired of being sick and tired, but also brave enough to try something new in the face of an uncertain outcome." This will take some time. Some, unfortunately, have such a wounded background or have reached a point where they just do not feel up to this, with any benefits seeming paltry and insignificant compared to the effort required. Yet endurance is an essential part of the path, and one is advised to take it to the 'count of nine', and keep getting up [See "Khanti Yoga - The Yoga of Endurance" at http://www.mountainrunnerdoc.com/khanti_yoga.html]. Again, changes of behavior can eventually change feelings which will make the personal overlay called the 'story' with its attendant psychological suffering less and less insistent. Nevertheless, none of these methods, however useful, will bypass an inevitable confrontation with ones darker side or 'shadow material', as well as fundamental existential position. Such action will in fact likely produce a sense of vulnerability, and deeper, core feelings may arise. If one goes deep enough, he may even recognize fear as a 'protector', protecting the separative self-sense from the experience of what seems like an empty void. Holding these feelings in the light of awareness, while painful, is the direct way to move beyond them and their crippling effects, and, in essence, to distinguish consciousness from its sensations. This, then, will reach beyond mere psychology into a spiritual dimension. Yet perhaps this is too hard also. One hopes for honest tears to help dissolve the hard crust of ego and its pain. Fear is perhaps the most difficult because it often cannot be cried out, although there may be tears beneath it. It can be either a 'protector' or a core feeling. In either case one usually needs the help of someone who can be there in a supportive, skillfull, and non-judgemental way for one to safely go into the depths of these feelings. Alice Miller explains:
"Living with the fear" (or any other painful feeling) simply means letting the discomfort remain in your body, without trying to get rid of it. [Cognitive Behavioral therapists call this "radical acceptance", i.e., what you 'do' when nothing else works; Eckhart Tolle also recommends this when feeling the ‘Presence’ seems beyond ones capacity]. This is very hard to do; we have spent our lives automatically attempting to protect ourselves. Changing to unconditional acceptance will take time and effort. It means being willing to maintain almost constant vigilance over what you are feeling and allowing to happen to you, day after day, hour after hour. Surrendering to something you have always unconsciously believed could kill you is something that can be done only little by little. It will take both time and energy." (304)
Richard Moss similarly writes:
"If, as you step back into the Now position, you cannot find the compassion to see others as they are and accept them that way, if instead the old stories keep pulling you out of your beginning and into resentment or hurt, it is because underneath these painful feelings lurks an even more threatening feeling, one of the untamed emotions. Perhaps it is a core feeling of worthlessness, or a terrible sensation of abandonment that has crystalized into a belief...This primal fear will not go away simply because you can recognize the falseness of your you stories. You cannot truly come back to the beginning of yourself until this feeling is fully met and held in the Now....When we begin to consciously face feelings that do not immediately dissipate even when they are no longer reinforced by thought, it means we are uncovering fears that our faith is not yet great enough to allow. We are getting to the root of our present survival structures. This is deep work, the darkest hour before the dawn. But even at the darkest times, the power of awareness abides: we are always larger than what we are aware of. By trusting this truth and resting in the Now of ourselves, embracing anything at all that we feel, we steadily build muscle until we are no longer accepting our limited identities, no longer the victims of our stories about others. More and more, we live authentically in the fullness of our beings." (305)
Aadi also emphasizes the potential limitation of strictly regressive approaches:
"On the whole, psychological therapies are based on the false assumption that we can be transformed by manipulating the subconscious, or by becoming more conscious of the unconscious. They fail because they give too much power to the past. By overemphasizing our personal history, they perpetuate our dependence on it rather than freeing us from it. For example, by delving too deep into childhood issues we can actually reactivate memories that are no longer relevant to our present identity...It is certainly important to address past issues, but only productive if we are empowered by the Now." (306)
In short, these approaches are leading the client to: accept the energy of fear, embrace the wisdom of no escape, and merge with the seemingly empty space of non-being or impending doom when it arises. Again, this is very hard to do, particularly in human isolation.
A large note of caution is needed here about entering into various regressive therapies, such as rebirthing, holo-tropic breathing, primal therapy, etc., when one is in a precarious position. There have been many successes with these approaches but also many failures. And, for people on the edge, or undergoing a period in their sadhana or spiritual practice where there is lot of pain, extreme pain, and where they may be tempted to go into it further to advance or accelerate their process or progress, this may can be very counter-productive. A wise spiritual friend of mine wrote to me during such a period of my life:
"I did not imagine that you were thinking about doing deep-feeling therapy, but rather was responding to you wonderings about whether you were resisting just feeling it all more fully, and maybe you should/could try to go deeper into it, so to speak. I would call the general process of purging/catharsis/deep-feeling/etc. a process of uncovering what is in the subconscious, by whatever method or at whatever rate, and I wanted to make the point of discouraging any version of that right now, even on your own such as just simply intentionally feeling the body, emotions and pain directly for any significant period of time. Even that is probably best kept to a minimum right now so that things can calm down. I understand it is hard to ignore it like that. But one can at least not energize it too much with more direct attention."
"I believe that one of the most important limitations of the practice of most modern forms of psychotherapy (and other growth systems besides many of the spiritual ones) is the lack of understanding of reincarnation. Daskalos once said (and I am paraphrasing to make his point more clear) that 85% percent of an adult's character and psychological content is brought over from previous lives. Some of it is, as they say 'kriyaman karma', or freshly acquired in this life - from new thoughts, emotional reactions, traumas, karmic decisions, and so no. But the rest of the content of the character and subconscious is from the past. I would say that for many it is probably more than 85%. So based on my feeling about you and what you said above, particularly about how early and strongly you felt shut down, drained, blocked, etc., is that mostly this pain in your subconscious is from previous lives. And, as you know, when there is significant pain, then defense mechanisms work subconsciously to defend against the pain, and the body shuts down, more or less, in proportion to the pain. This cuts off emotional freedom of expression and vitality, which get blocked as well with the presence of defense mechanisms. Blocking out painful feels also blocks out positive ones as well."
"During one of the first training workshops I did in my Psychosynthesis training with Martha Crampton she said something that has stuck with me. She said something like: defense mechanisms get a bad rap - but they are very important. They serve to defend us from feeling pain and subconscious material that could be overwhelming if experienced too quickly. I would add to that that it is best not to think of defense mechanisms as necessarily a rigid boundary. They may be viewed more like a valve that gradually releases material/karma to be healed/released/transformed. Sometimes the valve gets stuck and we need to do something to open it up more. But experiencing significant pain is a sign it is open all it needs to be right now. It is not the defense mechanism that shut us down somewhat that is the problem - it is the karma they are helping us manage. And that can usually only be healed gradually."
"But because we can be cut off from our feeling nature by them [i.e., our defense mechanisms], our sense of feeling dead, blocked, shut down, depressed and so on can lead to feeling frustrated and wanting to just open it all up. But sadly, too many of us are simply not ready to open up very quickly. We are on a longer road to healing. So patience, trust and acceptance of the situation become our best friends, waiting for the day when our healing is far enough along that we can be more open again, with greater feeling, life enthusiasm and vitality."
"In summary I am saying a few simple things: one is that I feel what you are going through is mostly part of a deep cleansing of the subconscious, a lot of which material comes from past lives. And that you are not remiss or missing an opportunity if you don't try to go deeper into the feelings. Better not that direction right now - focus more on the positive, as hard as that might be. And accept yourself that this is all you can do. You are not failing yourself or anyone else that this is your situation and all you can do. Try to trust in the process and in Grace and hang in there."
"In my experience, sometimes there are deep karmic pains that are either not too 'big', or are ripe for healing, so that we can engage in some type of cathartic process, directly opening or entering into it, and thus facilitate a healing or breakthrough of some sort. But at other times the karma is not yet ripe for this kind of approach, and so in those instances to work in that way with the karma/emotions/pain will not only not lead to a short-term healing, but can open us up too much to these feelings and cause greater pain than necessary. It needs to be worked off more gradually. This is a part of psychological and spiritual healing that I don't think has been well understood and can lead to problems or make things worse. So I counsel caution about this and suggest people generally use other strategies, particularly trying to keep busy and to do what one can to get one's mind off of the pain (as it tends to be intensified with awareness), and, if possible, to focus on positivity rather than embracing the pain. I know this sounds contrary to some modern sources, but it is becoming more and more widely recognized. For instance, there is a book called 'Trauma-Sensitive Mindfulness' that recognizes these issues. Daskalos was very keen about emphasizing that this is really no different than concepts like opening up one's chakras prematurely."
"Of course, much suffering cannot be avoided on the path. So I am not saying that we don't need to work with pain, face the shadow, purge and purify karma, etc. Only that we try to maintain some balance. But if someone is experiencing substantial suffering already, it is often not valuable to escalate that by trying to connect more fully with it. Focus on ordinary and positive thoughts and actions as much as possible. When Jack Kornfield was in Asia he saw a woman come to his teacher with great suffering. She couldn't sleep and was racked with pain. So the teacher had her do 'jhana' practices, deeply concentrating on something positive or neutral and putting the suffering out of her mind. When she left Kornfield asked the teacher why he didn't recommend vipassana, which he thought was the cure-all and ultimate Buddhist practice, and a Buddhist form of, among other things, allowing the subconscious to purge. The teacher said that she was suffering too much already, and that vipassana would make it worse. But trying to engage in positive action and thought is sometimes more accessible to some people. She did this practice for some time and was able to balance out her suffering somewhat, and then he gave her vipassana to do. Note: she was, perhaps, a "lucky one" and fortunate enough to be able to do a practice like that; not everyone is. This is a good example of this type of wisdom, one which the Western sangha, and even the psychological community, is sometimes not adequately aware of. Work like primal scream, holotrophic breathwork, rebirthing, etc. can useful to many people and not good for others."
The debate over therapy as an adjunct versus 'pure' practice is succinctly contrasted in the following two, well-written articles: Even the Best Meditators Have Old Wounds to Heal, by Jack Kornfield, and Still Crazy After All These Years: Why Meditation Isn't Therapy by Patrick Kearney. Both sides have their merits. However, in respect with what is being discussed here the prospect of just 'gutting it out' with one's sadhana is not likely a realistic option.
One final note on practicalities of taking care of oneself. Attention must also be directed to maintaining a healthy brain and body. Rest is important, as is exercise and diet. There are many 'neutracuticals' proven to be effective in reducing depression, improving cognitive functioning, and boosting general health. There is not space here to go into this in detail, but a good beginning is found in the book, Buddha's Brain, by Rick Hanson. In serious cases conventional medication may be a necessary consideration. See Medicate or Meditate, in Buddhadharma, Spring, 2009, by physicians Roger Walsh, Robin Bitner, Bruce Victor, and Lorena Hillman, for an important discussion of this issue. However, it must be pointed out that much evidence shows that commonly prescribed SSRI drugs (Selective Serotonin Re-uptake Inhibitors), such as Prozac, Zoloft, Paxil, Lexapro, etc., which prevent the metabolism by the body of serotonin on the theory that depression is caused by a lack of serotonin in the brain (but for which most patients are not actually tested for), are associated with an increase in the rate of violent behavior, anxiety, and suicide. Big pharmaceutical company warnings only state that 'these drugs might increase the risk for violence and suicide in children under the age of eighteen', but my understanding that the reason they stipulate eighteen is because there hasn't been adequate testing for the effects on people over that age. Evidence is in that a lot of the mass-shooters have been on these drugs. So theoretically, it seems reasonable to assume, anyone is at some risk when taking them. There is also such a thing as serotonin syndrome - too much serotonin, which is also not a good thing. And also, it has been well-known in the historical clinical literature that severely depressed individuals often are at greatest risk of suicide when they begin to improve a little and move out of the state of abject apathy and then have the energy and agitated state to commit suicide. This may possibly be a mechanism behind the often relatively sudden teen suicides in those on anti-depressants.
Another issue to consider is that these drugs have have been shown in a number of studies to be no more effective than a placebo - usually with the caveat of "except in the case of severely depressed individuals". How that can be so is unclear - i.e., what is the mechanism of action in severely depressed individuals that is not present in the less depressed? I don't think anybody knows. The recommendations, useful or not, seem based on clinical results alone, and not hard scientific data.
Of course, the placebo effect can be very powerful. Perhaps the most amazing example was in one case study where sham knee surgery was performed (the patient was anesthetized, an incision was made, and closed, but nothing else was done) and produced the same results as actual surgery; this in fact led the participating surgeon to question if he wanted to continue in his profession!
In a double-blind study on the anti-depressant drug Effexor a woman who had been taking the drug for a long time was given a placebo, but when later told that was what she had been taking absolutely refused to believe she had not had the real thing, for all of the usual symptoms, effects - and side effects - she had when taking actual Effexor had occurred. So the irony is that the drug may have actually been useful - but not for the reasons claimed by marketing. I am not a professional so cannot recommend one way or the other on this issue. So please do your own research.
When spiritual practice may be part of the problem
This brings us to another important issue, which is that the very approach one takes towards spiritual life may itself be the problem leading to despair. In this respect those under the influence of a partial or incorrect teaching may be in a similar position to those in helping professions such as psychiatry and medicine, where higher than normal suicides rates have been said to exist, perhaps to an extent due to a failure to fulfill healing expectations as a result of following incomplete or inadequate paradigms of health and healing. Even today there are teachers whose spiritual philosophy likewise leads seekers into overdoing practices that are helpful in moderation but harmful in the extreme. We speak about types of meditation or yoga which pursues the 'inner self' in either an ascetic or exclusively mystical way. If approached in a mature, balanced manner without wordly escapism, with a healthy psyche, under the guidance of a genuine adept, one may safely pursue this to its logical end. In general, while not universally accepted as the only route to take today, this has traditionally been considered the necessary first stage of a two-part process. First, one is advised to engage a practice to break ones fixed identification with the world, to attain 'self-knowledge'; then secondly one is to 're-absorb' or 'see' that world in and as oneself, for full Self or God-Realization. As PB wrote:
"Ultimately, the aspirant has to rise into that pure atmosphere whence he can survey his personal life as a thing apart. Still more difficult is it for one to live on that level while expressing the wisdom and goodness known to him. It is, however, almost beyond human strength to achieve the second part of such a program. Therefore, he has first to establish the connection with the Overself so that its strength and understanding will then rule him effortlessly. The moment this connection is established, the aspirant will become aware of results from the descent of Divine Grace upon his personality. Such a moment is unpredictable, but, for the individual who sticks to the Quest, its arrival is sure." (307))
The ‘problem’ is when this first stage is taken as the end-all and be-all of life, in an ungrounded and dissociative way, ignoring much human growth, karmic/emotional 'clearing', and understanding necessary for the path's wholeness and completion. Thus, with right discrimination the two stages need not be radically separated as so often has been the case on the past. Hence Iyer's warning. In a way this can lead to a 'spiritual seeker's version' of Kierkegaard's sickness-unto-death mentioned earlier. That is, when by erroneous thinking due to a partial doctrine one conceives of the goal as lying in a virtual abandonment or transcendence of the body and world, the 'fear of life' so common among seekers and lack of appreciable success in this direction may bring down upon oneself unnecessary suffering, such as in a pathological form of the dark night of the soul, in addition to whatever inevitable existential pain one may need to endure.
Inasmuch as Atman or Brahman, the Self, the All and Everything, the Truth, is ultimately neither within or without, and is always present, however, such a path therefore is still a halfway-house, chiefly useful for developing concentration and tranquility of mind which can then be used to inquire into or more deeply contemplate Truth. But if one seeks to avoid the world in an overly strategic way, forgetting that it, too, is Brahman or 'God', then he may be, in a sense, heading for a fall or form of madness. In the medieval ages this was criticized as "Quietism". But in the twenty-first century, it can lead to schizophrenia, psychosis, or mental breakdown if not coupled with emotional balance and a full understanding of self and world. A recent medical study also argued that meditation retreats can be bad for your mental health - because unconscious fears, etc., can come to the surface. Which is actually what traditionally is accepted as part of what will happen! It is a complicated and difficult issue. Philosopher V.S. Iyer wrote:
"The right person will get his mind concentrated and sharpened by yoga, the wrong one will get it dulled and weakened...Samadhi is useful as a discipline to mystics to help to subdue the ego and to control emotions, thus fitting themselves partly for philosophic discipline. But if they overdue it they go insane...A peculiar difficulty confronts those engaged in attempting to stop all thought and invert on the inner self as the ultimate goal. There is a lack of understanding of truth involved. The logical end of the suppression of the senses is to commit suicide and be finished with them." (308)
Fourteen hundred years ago the Sixth Patriarch of Zen, Hui-Neng, similarly spoke:
"Good and learned friends, I also know some who teach people to sit and look into their minds as well as to look at purity, so that the mind will not be perturbed and nothing will arise from it. Devoting their efforts to this, deluded people fail to become enlightened; consequently they are so attached to this method as to become insane. There have been several hundred such cases. Therefore I know that to teach people this way is a great mistake." (309)
Drastic words, perhaps, but containing a truth worth pondering seriously. The logical end of such meditation is 'suicide' of a sort - the end of life as we know it. It is not the completion of the philosophical 'life', but the exclusively mystical 'death', such as in nirvikalpa samadhi. Even so, few attain it, and fewer yet understand it if they do. Nor may its classic trance form be necessary, or, for most people, even possible, anymore. We have opted for an integrated life in the world, are not born ascetics, and the intuited essence of the thoughtless nirvikalpa state may be had without full inversion through inquiry. PB, a student of Iyer, spoke of this traditional problem more positively in several ways. One is a word of caution not to expect or be overly dismayed if one does not have a rapid, linear form of spiritual progress:
“The expectation that progress will be constant and steady fills many beginners until time and experience teach otherwise. They have failed to allow for the possibility that there may be steps back and aside as well as interminably long pauses. Some go still farther and expect Grace, whether direct or through a master, to come prematurely or to work some spiritual conjuring-trick and change their nature almost overnight. The error of these egoistic expectations should be replaced by the correct attitude, which is hope. This is inspired by nothing less than the Overself. It is a genuinely intuitive leading. But it must be followed in patience and without imposing the ego's false emotions upon it.” (310)
He also distinguishes, based on a comparative study of the major traditions, between a ‘Long Path’ of self-effort, discipline, and purification, that needs at some point - either at the outset or later depending on the ripeness or need of a person - to be dropped and/or concurrently practiced with a ‘Short Path’ of faith in Being and reliance on Grace:
“On the Long Path the aspirant tries to improve himself. He experiences successes and failures, ups and downs. When he is disappointed, he gets melancholy. On the Short Path such a situation cannot arise, because he has faith like a little child. He has given up all his future to Overself-God and he has enough faith to trust to it. He knows he has made the right decision and therefore is always happy. He depends on this GRACE, he knows It, that It comes from the wisest being behind the world. Whatever will come, it will be the best. He is always relying on the Overself and having the joy in it.”
“The Short Path is a cheerful Path, a Path of happiness. Just before this begins, the aspirant may experience the Dark Night of the Soul [some today prefer to use the terms Self or Being rather than Soul, to avoid any cultural misinterpretation]. He feels utterly helpless, has no feeling of spiritual Reality. It is a melancholy time - no feeling of spirituality or longing for it. He is neither worldly nor spiritual. He feels alone and abandoned and separated by a wall from his Guru. He feels God has forgotten him. This dark night may last a short time or long years. He is unable to read spiritual things, or think about them. There is no desire for ordinary things either. He feels sad and disappointed and may even try suicide. In this unhappiness even those who love him cannot bring him comfort. In both hemispheres, Western and Eastern, there is a saying: the night is darkest just before dawn. He is on the lowest point. After that, the Short Path brings back the Joy - just like clouds moving away from the Sun.”
“The best advice is, first, that it will not last forever; he must have patience. Second, he must have hope. Then he reaches a better level than ever before. The Dark Night of the Soul does not come to every seeker. It is like a shadow thrown by the Sun. When the Sun appears in the subconscious, the shadows arise. But it is the beginning of a great inner change. It is not a wasted time; there is a great deal of work going on - but in the subconscious - to root out the ego. It is being done by the Overself. It is a sign of Grace, but the aspirant nevertheless feels unhappy.” (311)
Therefore, if one is frustrated by a lack of anticipated progress in attaining what he had hoped was the glorious goal, he would do well to inspect if he is involved in an unnatural approach, and whether truth lies in another direction than his expectations. Various preconceived views about realization may have often held up seekers for years in a futile attempt to willfully divide their human and divine natures. If one has become tired, therefore, and bereft of 'the patience needed to empty the ocean with a teaspoon', he is ready for another way. Then he may let go of his worry about 'getting there', and start from scratch as a simple child of the universe, knowing that he has a right to be here and all is well. And begin to study the right books and find good company that doesn't reinforce such an abberated course. You are as a fish swimming in water and even now are in the divine arms whether you know it or not. Hurry and worry never helped anybody.
Even in this day and age there was a Sant Mat master or pseudo-master who gave such advice as, "children up to the age of five should be blindfolded in order not to be polluted by worldly sense impressions." Yes, that will be the result, and they will also not learn anything and become raving neurotics if not psychotics as well! Another who we respect from time to time tells his followers "to meditate five, ten, or more hours a day." That, too, is crazy advice, especially if one is not able to even meditate relatively successfully for twenty to thirty minutes. So, for those involved in such an endeavor, question whether you KNOW what you are attempting to achieve is truth and whether your means to get there is also true. This alone can not be overemphasized. The first rung of the Buddha's Noble Eight-Fold Path happens to be "right view", which translates as, "if you don't know what you are trying to achieve how will you recognize it if you get there?"
Further, as Aadi points out:
"The spiritual path is not to be perceived as a way to escape the world. The human in us has to become fulfilled through a total experience of life in order to reach completion. Many seekers are actually driven by their fear of life, not a deep longing for awakening. To proceed on the path, however, we need to be well-grounded in the world and free of fear...By developing a harmonious connection to the world we begin to experience it as a place of fundamental goodness where we can reach spiritual awakening and completion...The purpose of evolution..is not only to reach self-realization, but to become whole... Far from being an escape from the difficulties of human life, the way to wholeness involves the completion of many aspects of our human existence: purification of the subconscious mind, emotional healing, psychological maturation, the development of a harmonious connection with the world, the fulfillment of core desires, and the ending of karma...For the soul to become whole, she must.. align her human identity with her awakening process. She has to reach maximal integrity within her human personality before she is free to realize herself, for unless the personality matures to the highest level of wisdom and purity, she cannot integrate her human incarnation with her eternal essence. The human conscious of the soul must be refined to the point that it can serve as a suitable vehicle for her awakening and transcendence." (312)
This appears like a radical departure from traditional spiritual teachings: emotional healing, fulfill core desires? But it is just so. The emphasis here is not on every compulsive negative desire, but essentially benign core human desires, not the least of which are soul aspirations, or what might be called needs of the whole being. This is a positive message. Thus, all is important, and there is no way to bypass basic human development on the path to liberation. Even the ego, when seen, as PB puts it, "as none other than the presence of the World-Mind in one's own heart," is given the okay and not what some have called 'death by Advaita'. In fact, the ego can not die. It certainly can not kill itself, even if it wanted to. One can experience its absence, in samadhi, satori, or sleep - but there is no problem with its presence. It is fundamentally not a dilemma, despite many teachings which make it out to be the 'great unpardonable sin'. It is a necessary functional self-referrent. Some teachings would make self-referencing a crime. Yet it is the evolutionary precursor to the desire to know oneself as a limitless, free soul, with its own inner wisdom and strength, whose individuality is retained even in the Oneness of its true Home. This lowly ego is actually part of the natural intelligence of Being, and the active agent on the quest, and can certainly peacefully and without a problem coincide with the sense of ourself as unbounded, unconditioned, apparently impersonal, and one with all that exists. If not, why not? Especially if, as some teachers argue, it is not real, or doesn't even exist - what need then is there to bother oneself about it?! It is only 'me', and what is wrong with 'me'? We see nothing the matter with it. Let it live, it is not a mistake. Excessive egoism may be undesirable, but even this is largely the product of an unawakened, wounded character, and therefore still nothing to judge. For what is judged becomes separated, and what is separated cannot be healed. But the ego itself is not misidentification or error, although it has traditionally been regarded that way for thousand of years. One may misidentify with it exclusively, in which case it may appear, for a time, as a crafty opponent. That much we can say. The human inevitably will be led to depart from much of the animal within him, but without divorcing the human from the divine. We therefore prefer to see the ego as the product of a long evolution rather than 'endless eons of karmic bondage'. Many on the quest have been stranded and shipwrecked on the shoals of such negative and partial teachings. Time for the battle to stop, for the millenia of dissociative war against the self to be counterbalanced by the universal mother energy of complete embrace and acceptance. What Aadi expresses is just what PB meant when he wrote a great deal on the need to achieve balance; that the process of the developing and maturing of the ego and its faculties of thinking, feeling, and willing is the necessary preparation for as well as counterpart to the spiritual process of transcending them. The ego needs to reach a certain level of maturity before it is ready for the degree of sacrifice required to surrender itself.
Traditional admonitions often given: helpful or harmful?
Let us now what a number of sages say on the issue of suicide. We know we are on dangerous ground when broaching this subject of practical ethics and morals. And we judge no one for what they feel compelled to do or have done. "There but for the Grace of God go I" remains our only justified attitude. No one can read into the deep heart of another, even the sages, who while sometimes speaking strongly on this matter, also do not judge.
The traditional argument against suicide is that, since obtaining a human birth is such a gift and opportunity, that voluntarily ending it out of fear, depression, even extreme physical or emotional pain or hopelessness, is not the wisest choice. Yet there are those few who, having tried all available help, still feel overwhelming loss and despair, and upon whom blame is not to be cast. True, it must be accepted that it is karma, the cosmic will, the cooperation of Nature, and even certain 'pre-birth' planning that have contributed to producing the particular birth, upbringing and character one has been granted, which may be a hard and bitter pill to swallow. Such a life may be much more challenging than most, no doubt. The Master's life is the same in this respect; he must endure much more if he is to be of real help to others. Yet we do not accept the words of those who say that God will punish or is punishing such a person. One’s own higher or true Self will arrange circumstances in whatever way will be for ones ultimate good, however hard it may be - and perhaps even harder than it would have been if the present life were allowed to play itself out to the end. Or perhaps not, in some cases.
We will not try to motivate such persons solely out of fear, however, as in theosophy where it has been said that a person committing suicide, it being such a strong tendency, will commit suicide in four more lives. Such a pronouncement invites an infinite extension, for here we essentially have a cause becoming a future effect, which then becomes the cause of another future effect: which means that cause and the effect are the same, which is a logical contradiction. All we really have are two distinct appearances. Even granting a causation, how do we know that such a cause will produce the same effect? There could be other consequences. Even more, how would one know which of those four lives one was in, and would not each successive act of suicide have to produce another four such lifetimes, such that there would be no end to such a destiny? Such is implied in this - in our opinion - rather uncompassionate declaration:
"If a man commits suicide he leaves the physical body but his soul will not enter into the astral region. With his astral body he will remain in the physical world. Such souls don't get any help since they did not help themselves to overcome the negative effects during their life. These souls begin to live with other souls who already committed suicide. They live at certain places, which are called 'haunted places'. Since they could not solve their purpose of human life, they left their body in negative condition. All such souls become corrupt and they work for the negative power. They further influence weak and emotional people and lead them to suicide." - Dr. Harbhajan Singh (internet post).
He further said that even the angel of death won’t come to take their souls to the astral plane, what to speak if the Masters. That drastic, damning, and divisive conclusion we can not accept as the complete truth of things. An opportunity has been missed, however, with the desired outcome generally not considered the most favorable one. But to say that because such souls “failed to solve their purpose of life” or “overcome their negative effects” they are more or less damned is just plain heartless, and doesn’t speak much for the Masters either. And to issue such blanket statements must surely be forgetting, as touched on before, a plague of evil in our society in recent years, where teenagers on antidepressants (carrying a black label warning) face a rise in suicides of epidemic proportions. Nearly every mass-shooter has been on multiple pharmaceutical psychoactive drugs. Couple this with the recent tyranny of enforced lockdowns and social distancing and isolation, and many fragile souls with damaged brains have been pushed to the breaking point. Is it acceptable, as one illustrious Master said of one such unfortunate soul at his ashram, “There but for the grace of God go I,” while teaching a single consequence for all suicides? This just can not be. Or, as one friend of mine said to me on a different matter years ago, “If that’s what God is like, I don’t want it.”
But all Masters do not say this. Rather, like Neem Karoli Baba, they say, "I will never leave you; You may forget me, but I never forget you. Once I take hold of a devotee's hand, I never let go." (313).
Kirpal wrote:
"Those whom the Master takes under His care, are looked after like a child. The follower does not dream of what the Master is doing for him, but the Master does not show anything. He looks after His follower in every way...Even if the disciple goes wrong, the Master does not cease to look after him, just like the prodigal son whom the father never forgot. The disciple might leave the Master, but the Master never leaves him. He fills His followers with His own thought, with His own Life. So when the child remembers Him, well, it is the Master who first loves us, remembers us. When we remember Him, He remembers us, with all His heart and soul. He is always looking after the good of His followers. He is not the body. He is the Word made flesh. He is everywhere. We are simply to invert inside and see what He does for us. Even if we cannot invert, He still looks after us...He does not leave until he has taken the soul to the feet of the Sat Purusha."(314)
"It is said in the old texts," writes Brunton," that the perfect Master feels not only for his disciples but for all those who are devotedly following the Quest, an affection similar to that of a cow for her calf." (315)
Cooler minds, then, have said the Masters will certainly help, as will also countless benign presences within the infinite Being of God, as allowable within the constraints of karma. They may, as Swami Rama put it, 'place a comma' in one's destiny, altering it somewhat in a more benign direction, but they can not eliminate it all. This no doubt stresses the naturally compassionate human heart to its limits, but it appears to be the case. A number of saints have, therefore, given similar forceful, sobering denunciations; yet, it cannot be said enough, that we - and they - have only compassion for all concerned. The following statements may seem harsh and judgemental, but it must be remembered they were addressed directly to someone in particular, in their best overall interests. Still, we will offer some newer perspectives on the matter, more apparently positive and accepting. Perhaps one of the more reasoned arguments is from PB:
"Those who feel pity for a person who kills himself feels rightly. But when this feeling is not balanced by reason, it may degenerate into sentimentality. For the suicide needs, like all other human beings subject to the process of evolution, to develop the quality of strength and to unfold the feeling of hope. His failure to do so leads to this sad consequence. That some suicides occur from other causes does not displace the truth of the general statement that most of them occur from weakness and fear. The desire to kill himself may really be a desire to terminate the ego’s life, but the man is unaware of this. In such cases, which are in a minority, the quest will be consciously adopted later...When suffering has reached its zenith or frustration is drawn out too long, when the heart is resigned to hopelessness or the mind to apathy, people often say that they do not want to live any more and that they await the coming of death. They think only of the body's death, however. This will not solve their problem, for the same situation - under another guise - will repeat itself in a later birth. The only real solution is to seek out the inner reality of their longing for death. They want it because they believe it will separate them from their problems and disappointments. But those are the ego's burdens. Therefore the radical separation from them is achievable only by separating permanently from the ego itself. Peace will then come - and come forever." (316)
Anandamayee Ma more bleakly stated:
"One who commits suicide enters such a deep darkness out of which it is very difficult to be liberated. One may remain in it for ages, unless someone who has power has compassion and frees one from it. Suicide is a heinous sin. In that condition one cannot meet anyone [in the after life]. The human body is born in order to enjoy and suffer the fruit of one's deeds of former birth. To try to escape from this by suicide is most foolish and only prolongs the agony indefinitely. No one who is in his senses can take his life; at the moment of doing such a thing the person is out of his mind. Suicide does not solve anything, on the contrary." (317)
Vipassana master Dipa Ma said:
"Depression and suicidal feelings are a disease. It happens sometimes even to a highly developed meditator. Try to develop a practical outlook. On the one hand, you must know the result of committing suicide: it is an act from which you cannot rescue yourself for many successive births. Also try to remember that human life is precious. Don't waste it.> (318)
[Just so one is aware of it, Dipa Ma, after a lifetime of disappointments and sufferings, was near death in a physical breakdown and very deep mental depression, until the venerable monk Munindra personally nurtured her for weeks and weeks until she finally started coming out of it, and then went on to advance through the four Buddhist stages to enlightenment in a few short months. So one must assume that she spoke not intentionally in an unkind way but as one who knew the depths of suffering. Whether one is really lost for 'many successive births' is debatable and will be argued, to the contrary, later on. This could be an instance where she talked to an extent as she had been taught, and where the traditional instruction may not have been perfect, or is no longer adequate. The lesson, however, is that as long as there is breath, there is hope. One never knows when things will take a turn for the better].
The Islamic tradition says that we owe our very existence to an act of the Divine Mercy. Especially the human birth countless spiritual masters have said is a great blessing. (319)
The Eleusinian Mysteries of ancient Greece laid stress upon the evil of suicide, explaining that there was a profound mystery concerning this crime of which they could not speak, but warning that a great sorrow comes to all who take their own lives. The reason is suggested in the myth of Bacchus, in that he who attempts to destroy himself raises his hand against the god within him, as man's body is indirectly the tomb - and womb - of that god, and must be preserved with great care.
And if, as PB in more modern terms wrote:
"The ego to which he is so attached turns out on enquiry to be none other than the presence of the World-Mind within his own heart. If identification is then shifted by constant practice from one to the other, he has achieved the purpose of life" (320)
then the immensity of what one is considering is laid bare. Destroying the body may be destroying a precious temple, which it is said that countless souls are lined up waiting to receive.
The mystic healer of Cyprus, Daskalos, explained:
“Those who commit suicide may find themselves in a difficult situation when they enter the psychic world. Occasionally such persons may be trapped in the etheric [plane] of the gross material world, unable to move to the higher psychic planes. The individual will vibrate too close to the material world which will not allow him to find rest.” (321)
However, he writes further that this is not forever, and there are always inner helpers whose work is to comfort and guide along those souls until such time as their further upward progress may continue.
Paramhansa Yogananda wrote:
"Those souls who ruthlessly and foolishly commit suicide, are considered unclean souls in the astral world. They roam in the lower astral spheres, imprisoned in their astral and causal bodies, finding no rest, and either hating to be reborn on the earth or grieving for the loss of their physical incarnation. These forlorn souls have to wander about in the ether until some of the karmic effects of their bad actions are worn out through the operation of the divine law." (322)
Similar traditional thoughts came from Sri Siddharameshwar:
“If the body is purposefully destroyed physically, then one definitely gets reborn again and again.” (323)
And from one Sivaya Suvramuniyaswami:
“Suicide, for instance, only accelerates the intensity of one’s karma, bringing a series of immediate lesser births and requiring several lives for the soul to return to the exact evolutionary point that existed at the moment of suicide, at which time the still-existing karmic entanglements must again be faced and resolved.” (324)
Hazur Baba Sawan Singh, and in my opinion what must have been ‘scare tactics’ from this widely respected Satguru, purportedly said:
“If a person commits suicide he has to bear the wheel of eighty-four lakhs [corresponding to the traditional Hindu reckoning of 8,400,000 distinct living species] of births and deaths even though he is initiated because he disobeyed his master and broke the rule of nature. The same rule is applied to the satsang and non-satsangi.” (325)
In other words, one is condemned to begin all the way back in the line of evolutionary progression, assuming evolution is in fact a fixed reality and/or will repeat itself again in the same way. Bottom line, a horrible destiny. Of course, the important question is, was this even meant to be a statement of the absolute truth? Personally, I wonder.
With all due respect to these venerable saints, according to much recent 'research' this may not be so - at least, not so forever - and perhaps not for most. There may be help, even more so if there is regret for ones actions. A dear friend had a close friend commit suicide by jumping off a bridge; another spiritual friend had a vision where this person was seen on an “astral beach” expressing sorrow for what he had done. Opinions vary as to whether one has the self-consciousness after death to feel or express such regret, or whether the die is cast and becomes a latent samskara (326) bearing its inevitable consequences. St. Padre Pio, when commenting on two people who died by jumping off a bridge, said there was hope for one of them because “he converted on the way down.” (i.e., had a change of heart or intention before he died). A little harsh, perhaps, but the point made in favor of the value of life.
Yet Yogananda also said that "all souls are destined to return to God, 'because there is nowhere else to go", and therefore no one is lost forever. But forever is a long time, with the potential for much suffering in the interrum.
Shri Atmananda gives a jnanic or advaitic argument against suicide, no doubt wise, but also perhaps not likely very accessible for someone in deep emotional pain:
“Suicide means the killing of the self. Suicide is usually contemplated to avoid a dragging pain or dishonour. But instead, you are courting another pain of an intenser type, though for a shorter period, and with a most uncertain future. Therefore, if any other means can be suggested to get away from the pain, it would certainly be acceptable to the one who contemplated suicide. Prove to him his identity with the changeless principle behind body and mind; and prove to him that the pain belongs to the mind alone, as a result of its identification with the body. Thinking of committing suicide means trying to kill the self. Who tries to do so? The self itself. Is it possible to split the self that way? No. Therefore direct your attention to the thought of committing suicide and kill it; in other words, ‘kill the killer.’" (327)
In a similar way it has been said in A.A. that if a person does not know who they are, suicide is actually a form of homicide, since one is essentially trying to kill someone else. In a supportive program like that this could be a needed insight at the appropriate time. For one alone and hurting, maybe not.
While not explicitly speaking on suicide, one master dear to my heart at one time said:
“The mind] will try to take the disciple off the spiritual journey, and it will create a jungle of despair, a jungle of disappointment, and a jungle of doubts.”
I forget if it was Sankara or Buddha who first spoke of a “jungle of conflicting views.” Obviously, a clarifying teaching will be of help here. Some attention to mental patterns, of course, is necessary at many stages of the path. And patient endurance of suffering is fundamental to the quest. But, taken in isolation a statement like this may, nevertheless, leave the suffering ego with the idea that he can or must subdue the mind, that he is a failure, or doing it (life, the path) wrong. If it is true, as several spiritual teachers have said, that perhaps 85% or more of ones sufferings are due to past-life karmas, even these meant-to-be-helpful words may not be very effective in the case of a suicidal or near-suicidal depression, which is primarily a disease of feeling, although cognitive distortions are also present.
All of these great beings, while the embodiments of love, were trying to make a strong impression. We certainly would be hard-pressed in accusing them of lacking in compassion. Their lives were a sacrifice out of compassion for humanity and all beings. But some will no doubt feel their words were unkind and extreme, and maybe not even true but rather part of the baggage of their teaching lineage, in collision with an awakening Western world. And, as mentioned, it is said that there are invisible helpers for all, including the most unfortunate souls. David Spangler writes of presences that shelter beings in such a state. He speaks of meeting a woman in a dismal place in the inner worlds which his spirit guide 'John' told him was a region where souls go who:
"...cannot see beyond their own selfish interests. They are caught within themselves, and some have died in despair and depression, having concern and pity for no one but themselves. They care little for their environment. The light of the higher realms is painful for them. There are dedicated souls who attend them here in whatever way they can to help them come to that point of liberation and advancement. But there is one in particular I wish you to meet."
"At that point a woman appeared in the dimness. She was beautiful and there was a compassion and sweetness about her, but she didn't seem like a person. She was more like an animated image of a feminine presence, an embodiment of womanhood rather an an actual woman....But then the perspective changed and instead of seeing her standing with John and me on the dim outskirts of this town, we were standing inside her. The whole place seemed to be inside her."
"She is the presence who creates and sustains this realm," John said. "You might think of her as a goddess of sorts, though none that you would know by name. She is one of many such beings who use their own living energies to create a place dedicated to the welfare and succor of others...This realm exists because it is needed as a place of healing, but she is its architect and its life. This is not just a place, you see, but a living presence."
"She takes into herself the condition of the people who are here," John said. "Left to themselves, their self-pity and depression could implode into a hard nugget of selfishness and despair, making it very difficult for them to find liberation and move to higher levels of consciousness. But held within her love and spirit, their energy is kept lively and moving in ways they cannot yet do for themselves. It is as if they have forgotten to breathe, and she is breathing for them. This will make possible their eventual liberation from their self-enclosed state." (328)
Of course, this is not a permanent condition in any case, but an unfortunate and undesirable one nonetheless. If instead one endures in spite of the suffering, mental imbalance does not necessarily follow one after leaving the body, and a brighter future awaits him.
V.S. Iyer rationally affirms the special value of the human body and the spiritual purpose of pain. He comes down hard against suicide as a lost opportunity to become more detached from the body:
"You are born to know the truth and therefore the body is needed as a means of getting this higher thing, not as a means or mere pleasure. Suicide is unpardonable. Even those in great physical agony should not kill themselves for it is teaching them every moment not to be attached to the body. Hence although they are not able consciously to reflect on truth they are doing it unconsciously. Moreover it will drive them to seek that which is above the body and its pain." (329)
Yogi Ramacharaka writes, in commentary on the classic text Light on the Path by Mable Collins:
"The body is yours in pursuance of the Divine plan, and is in fact the Temple of the Spirit. If it were not good for you to have a body, rest assured you would not have it. It is needed by you in this stage of development, and you would be unable to do your work of spiritual unfoldment without it...The body should be recognised as the instrument of the soul and Spirit, and should be kept as clean, healthy and strong as maybe. And every means should be used to prolong the "life" in the body which has been given you. It should be respected and well-used...You will never have another chance to live out just the experiences you are getting now - make the best use of it...The sense of immortality will come gradually as the consciousness unfolds, but the student must not allow himself to live too much in "the upper regions," or to despise his body or the world and people around him. This is known as "spiritual pride," and will have its downfall. You are here in the world for a purpose, and must get the experiences necessary to fully round you out. You are in exactly the best position for the experiences you need - and you will not be kept there one moment longer than is necessary for your ultimate good. Live, grow, unfold - living your own life - doing the best you can." (330)
Other perspectives
There are often hard questions and bitter contradictions in life. And me can only wonder if all the usual advise applies individually during times of war, famine, torture - or such as in the current “pandemic.” Italics are used because there is much evidence, argued by many scientific experts, that much of the pandemic, with its unprecedented mass economic and social lockdowns, has been largely manufactured with fake case numbers based on inaccurate tests and unprecedented changes in the way infections and causes of death are being determined. In short, that there is a mass delusion being perpetrated by the presence of evil in this world. In any case, whatever one believes, suicides numbers are way up, the despair index is high, with many lives, and livelihoods built over many years, seemingly destroyed. Millions are dying of starvation in poor countries. Are we to conclude that there is nothing but individual karma - as one spiritual master with hundreds of thousands of followers has recently said - and that there is no such thing as group or national karmas ? And that times like these do not permit us a little additional grace to counterbalance the burden of the sudden unleashing of painful karma on a wide scale? One can but wonder.
< How to deal with the individual case at hand, of course, is our main task. One bold approach to take in perhaps a few cases not too close to the edge might be to offer a person exactly what he or she doesn't expect: rather than anxious concern or a pep-talk to the effect of "please don't die", "you have so much to live for", "we need you", etc., bring to them an acceptance of their desire, with also the beginnings of an inquiry into exactly what it is they want to be done with. Adyashanti suggests asking, "What is it you wish would die?" "What is it, really?" The gist is that it is the ego and its misery that one wishes to die, and not the body. However, the fact is that, in reality, the ego can't kill itself. As Shri Atmananda points out, if one tries to kill the ego, as some spiritual teachings suggest, it will only make it stronger if one is using a method of placing undo attention on it. It really does not want to die, and will only pop up somewhere else. If it is to 'die' in any sense, it is only the light of awareness that can satisfy that requirement, which means ignoring the ego, not reinforcing it, and obviously this is in short supply with many persons contemplating suicide. This approach, then, obviously is not to be taken as medical advice, is not without risk, is useful only with someone whose reason is available (and suicide being essentially an irrational act, this may not be the case), and requires much intuitive skill. However, the acceptance of a person's desire may be part of enlightened counselling on suicide. In some instances it may free up something within a person that obviates the intensity of the felt need to go through with it. of course that is not advice and has risks, but just knowing one is okay as he or she is and not a sinner may be enough to open a new path for him or her. Spirit guide Jeshua states:
"To someone considering taking your own life, I say that you need not be ashamed of the thought. You are simply seeking a way out of your despair. I say to you that nothing you can ever do will take God's love from you. There is always help available to you, whether on this side or the other. God or Spirit does not condemn suicide and instead favors a humane, compassionate approach to anyone considering this option. If you will allow suicide to be one possible pathway to take, you will see, again, paradoxically, that the number of suicides decreases." (331)
The experience of St. Therese of Lisieux may offers some insight for the religious on the connection between suicide and faith:
Suicide: Insights from St. Thérèse of Lisieux by Fr. J. Linus Ryan, O. Carm.
"The thought of suicide comes to most people at some time in their lives. For the majority it may be only a fleeting thought that is fairly quickly dismissed. But for others it can be a real temptation that must be strenuously fought. St. Thérèse of Lisieux, the Little Flower (d.1897), would seem to belong to the second category. Even though she was an enclosed Carmelite nun in a French provincial town, who died at the age of twenty-four, she has something important to say to people seeking to tackle the problem of suicide.
The issue of suicide seems only to have come to her towards the end of her life. Her sister, Mother Agnes, said to her a week before she died, what a terrible sickness and how much you suffered! She replied, "Yes! What a grace it is to have faith! If I had not any faith, I would have committed suicide without an instant's hesitation." (LastConv 22.9.6).
About a month earlier she was in such pain that she spoke of nearly losing her mind (CG 22.8.97). At this time too she said to her sister, Agnes:
"Watch carefully, Mother, when you will have persons a prey to violent pains; don't leave near them any medicines that are poisonous. I assure you, it needs only a second when one suffers intensely to lose one's reason. Then one could easily poison oneself." (August 30, Green Notebook).
Her sister repeated this on oath at the process for Thérèse's beatification (PA 204). In fact, another young sister who was helping to nurse her - Sr. Marie of the Trinity, - also testified the following:
"Three days before she died, I saw her in such pain that I was heartbroken. When I drew near to her bed, she tried to smile, and, in a strangled sort of voice, she said: If I didn't have faith, I could never bear such suffering. I am surprised that there aren't more suicides among atheists." [Text in Procès de béatification et canonisation. Vol. 1 Procès informative ordinaire (Rome: Teresianum, 1973) 472. English tr. in C. O'Mahony, St. Thérèse of Lisieux by Those who Knew Her: Testimonies from the Process of her Beatification (Dublin: Veritas, 1975) 254.]
"These texts make clear that suicide was not just a passing idea, but a consideration that she thought about very seriously. We have some idea of how grave this thought was when we look at her physical, psychological and spiritual state at the time. Her thoughts on suicide are found in the last months of her life... At this time Thérèse was desperately ill with a terrible form of tuberculosis. The first sign of the seriousness of her condition was a hemoptysis (coughing blood from the lungs) on the night of Good Friday in 1896. From that time her health deteriorated. After a year she was very seriously ill with intense chest pain, frequent hemoptysis and weakness. From July 1897 until her death on 30th September that year she had acute pain, often with suffocation. In time the tuberculosis spread throughout her body, so that around the 23rd August medical people spoke of gangrene of the intestines; there was a collapse of bodily functions. Though best medical practice at the time was morphine injections, her superior, Mother Gonzaga, thought that religious should suffer, and would not allow its administration to Thérèse (later the same superior would refuse morphine when she herself was dying with cancer)."
"Her psychological and spiritual sufferings were as great if not greater than her physical distress. Within a few days of her first coughing of blood, Good Friday the previous year, she had a sudden collapse of her faith experience. What had been normal to her, like thoughts of heaven, now seemed a fantasy. She spoke of a high wall between her and faith realities. She was in acute darkness of faith almost without remission until her death. The images she used were of darkness, a black hole, a thick fog, a tunnel and a high wall that she could not scale. In the meantime, she kept the best side out as it were. She continued her religious exercises, she wrote charming devotional poems at the request of the sisters of her community. But all the time, she was personally in darkness, with no feeling of faith. She said that she really knew the experience of atheists. She was walking through a dark night of faith."
"When we put these facts about her physical condition and her spiritual and psychological darkness side by side with her thoughts of suicide, we find a deeper perspective. For many religious people the thought of God or Heaven can be a reason against suicide, but Thérèse is now without any sense of the Divine Presence, devoid of faith experience, clinging on in darkness. As such her experience is of interest not only for the issue of suicide, but also for the whole area of unbelief. She knew in the depths of her being the crushing desolation of unbelief." (332)
We will not offer - except for an otherwise intact ego capable of absorbing the shock of a 'shamanic shout' - the advice of Thomas Merton - even if true - when he wrote:
"Despair is the absolute extreme of self-love. It is reached when a man deliberately turns his back on all help from anyone else in order to taste the rotten luxury of knowing himself to be lost." (333)
Only a relatively healthy person can take to heart such words without breaking. And in general, desperate people, deeply wounded and burdened with toxic shame, need much help and encouragement, self-love and affirmation, to be met where they are, until such time as they may deal with spiritual matters more directly. To some we might even hesitate to offer the less condemning words of Paramhansa Yogananda, who also compassionately said:
"God doesn't mind your imperfections: He minds your indifference."
We agree with those who say God is unconditional love, plain and simple. While we do not judge the person, therefore, being as it may be a sad act of self-hatred, or other-hatred turned inwards, or simply despair or pain, and may not produce the desired result as the true self never dies, neither do we advocate suicide as an action. It is said that one is almost always better off embracing his fate. Those who have killed themselves have appeared in vision to people I know personally and told them that they regretted what they had done. These include even initiates of the Masters. Spirit guide 'Aaron' concurs that this most often the case:
"The most common reaction after one has moved through the transition is sadness that one has lost this hard-earned opportunity to be in physical body and learn. This is true even if the physical incarnation seemed impossible and unbearable. From the perspective of the other side, one sees opportunities one did not see while one was feeling thus so trapped. But it is not a sin; it is simply a loss." (334)
Even so, it is not always entirely negative, as we shall see. Nothing is entirely black or white in this world.
The possibility while yet alive for such a person, difficult, extremely difficult as it surely may be, is to start where he is, to begin to learn compassion for himself, to love himself, and, when possible, to serve others and praise others, "praise being the cure for the loveless heart"; to have the courage to endure discomfort and pain while at the same time believing one is fundamentally all right, even though he feels deeply broken and unfixable, yet knowing that is not true, that there is nothing fundamentally wrong; to seek out whatever help is available, to know one has self-worth, that one is where he is supposed to be under God's care; to refuse and refuse again to believe the negative self-talk of the the mind, to agree to be accountable for ones actions, yes, but without falling into a bottomless pit of morbidity and guilt: this is to be a trusting patient under care of the Divine Physician. The effort will not go unrewarded, for a Higher Power is with one always. Yet we acknowledge and honor that this may take everything a person has inside, and that he may be battling the effects of lifetimes of karma. But perhaps it may of some small help to know that the rewards for endurance will be great, and that one way to love God is to begin to love oneself, admittedly often the hardest thing to do.
It is a reality that people who say and believe they yearn for God often do not realize the degree of sacrifice and commitment that may entail. The spiritual teachers themselves often keep it a secret until a relationship of love and trust is developed between them and their disciples. There is no blame in that; it is of the nature of spiritual blindness and ones state of evolution. The path has many a rough patch. We have all been there many times before. Often the only light we have is the example of our trustworthy Guide holding aloft a shining torch. Mariana Kaplan writes:
"The spiritual path is a winding road strewn with obstacles and ever-deepening disillusionment as the depth of our own falsity, suffering, deceitfulness, and perceived separation is revealed. Under such circumstances it is difficult to remember our soul's deepest longing and to align our lives in accordance with that longing. The true teacher will remember for us, ever calling to us or simply existing as an external expression of our own conscious wish to live lives of freedom and surrender." (335)
Many other wise people have spoken on the matter. Here is an example of the graceful intervention of a sage in one man's life:
Sista Subba Rao came to Ramana Maharshi disconsolate and wanting to kill himself. He wrote his desire down on a piece of paper and handed it to the sage. Ramana read it and handed it back, and remained quiet. Later, the man confessed:
“Soon there was a change in my outlook on life. I said to myself, ‘Suffering is the result of sinful deeds in the present or past life and everyone must pay for his misdeeds, for every action has its own reaction. By putting an end to the present life, we are adding interest to the principal. Our past sins are the principal, while the suicide will be its interest. All karmic debts are to be cleared to the last penny. It is cowardice to try to escape from the hard facts of life.’ This changed attitude towards life put an end to all thoughts of suicide that thronged the mind previously. I became a changed person, ready to fight out the battle of life at all costs and under all circumstance.” (336)
Sri Nisargadatta also addressed this problem:
“Acceptance of pain, non-resistance, courage and endurance - these open deep and perennial sources of real happiness, true bliss...Pleasure is readily accepted, while all the powers of the self reject pain. As the acceptance of pain is the denial of the self, and the self stands in the way of true happiness, the wholehearted acceptance of pain releases the springs of happiness.” (337)
“Q: What is wrong with suicide?
M: Nothing wrong, if it solves the problem. What, if it does not? Suffering caused by extraneous factors - some painful and incurable disease, or unbearable calamity - may provide some justification, but where wisdom and compassion are lacking, suicide can not help. A foolish death means foolishness reborn. Besides there is the question of karma to consider. Endurance is usually the wisest course.” (338)
However, he also added these balancing remarks speaking with another person:
“M: Fundamentally; no body can compel another to live. Besides, there were cultures in which suicide had its acknowledged and respectful place.
Q: Is it not obligatory to live out one’s natural span of life?
M: Natural - spontaneously - easy - yes. But disease and suffering are not natural. There is noble virtue in unshakable endurance of whatever comes, but there is also dignity in the refusal of meaningless torture and humiliation.” (339)
More on the topic of different cultural norms will be discussed later; suffice it to say the above appears more nuanced and compassionate than some of the previously expressed viewpoints.
Damiani explains this issue from a philosophical standpoint:
"There seems to be some truth to Freud's notion of the "instinct for death," that we all insist that somewhere we write the word "finis." Somewhere along the line, we want to be able to write the words, "It's all finished now. It's all ended." And it's very possible that in trying to understand how they're describing soul, this is one of the psychological obstacles that has to be overcome. In other words, this inherent desire to come to rest, to write "finis," is one of the things that has to go. This idea that there is an end has to go. (340)
Letting go of this concept is necessary - like it is with all concepts - yet it is not really an ordeal to do so, but actually a great relief, being one less thing to worry about. Imagine, to be burdened with needing to know whether or not there is an 'end' ? Some are afraid of coming to an end, while a few are worried about not coming to an end. It is, after all, however, only a thought. Remember, all is well.
And, of course, ultimately it is the wrong attachment to, or understanding of, the "I" that is the problem. If the ego is made an end in itself, a complete absorption of attention, we agree with Iyer when he states:
"All the different forms of insanity and mental disorders, the dissociations, delusions, obsessions, complexes and hallucinations are connected with the I. If you want to have a sane mind get rid of the ego." (341)
But if ego is seen as an reflective extension of the soul in its physical human incarnation, and part of its practical intelligence, then to try to 'get rid of it' prematurely is not right either. Much acceptance of the human personality is needed before one can realize a true freedom from, in, and even as it. No doubt all hard to see when one has come far down the road to consider ending it all, but well worth being reminded of while there is yet time to forestall what may turn out to be an unfortunate course of action.
An insightful and compassionate discussion on the overall implications of suicide is offered by my contributor Mark:
“In a certain sense, many types of spirituality are really just seeking a kind of spiritual and permanent suicide. As a Buddhist master said 'no self, no problem'. The problem is, of course, that bodily suicide doesn't work. Only spiritual suicide works! I don't actually believe that awakening as 'spiritual suicide' is really a balanced description of awakening, but it is half true, and very true in certain ways. My view of karma is clearly impersonal - I believe it is a natural law governing relativity whereby the effects of one's actions are mirrored back to oneself. I do not believe that some cosmic entity has a list of all the bad things we can do in one column, and a list of corresponding punishments in another column, that are dished out to the transgressor. I believe that karmic effect are a natural outcome of their causes. This is not an uncommon view, but it is definitely not the only view of karma, and many of the perspectives I have encountered in Asian literature, for instance, seem to be not very dissimilar to the hell-fire nonsense I heard as a child, foolishly designed for the fear factor. This is a compassionless view.”
“So I do not feel that there is a standard punishment for suicide. On the other hand, karma must be considered - what are the consequences of suicide. One consequence is that suicide is obviously throwing in the towel, which is not an ideal moment to end an incarnation on. It is not necessarily terrible, and can be quite understandable in many circumstances. So although I believe the individual is most commonly going to feel some regret in the afterlife in this regard, it is not likely going to be considerable, unless they give themselves a very hard time. Incidentally, I subscribe to the 'hell is a state of mind' theory. People will tend to go to the inner world that corresponds to their state of mind, because they will feel most comfortable there, and often do not feel it is hell, as it mirrors their state of mind and so is what they are used to. If, on the other hand, one ends up ending a life on a tragic note, an unwholesome decision, then there is the possibility that they will temporarily go to a heavier, more painful region because of the guilt/remorse/sadness they are feeling. Their own capacity for self-understanding and forgiveness is all that keeps them from ascending to more positive environments.”
“Other karmic implications also need to be considered - which are two main ones for most people. One is that our suicide is going to impact people that love us. Our psychic awareness (which will be much stronger from no longer being in a body) of what others are feeling in reaction to our death, and our own reactions to knowing this, is another whole dimension of suicide that is probably the most painful for all involved. And since in the afterlife we are basically the same person we were when we were in incarnation (at first), then not only do all our issues follow us there (minus the ones caused by physical karma and imbalances), but now we add all the new karma/pain/reactions that we have created. This is likely to be pretty 'hellish' for most people for a time, until they are able to let it all go and move on, those some of those karmas will remain and be added to the next personality we form upon reincarnating.”
“The other issue is the karma of taking a life. Even though it is 'our own', it is really a gift, this body, that has been provided by our parents in cooperation with the Intelligences of Nature, which are part of the System that is set up by Enlightened Intelligences for the purpose of providing opportunities for incarnation in a human form to accelerate evolution. Energy was expended by many beings to make each body and life possible, and it is not only an act of harm against a sentient being (our body) when we commit suicide, it is an act that reinforces our disconnection to the Greater Spirit that gave opportunity to us through providing this body. This Greater Spirit is boundlessly compassionate, so it is not an affront so much as something that we ourselves come to realize on the 'other side', which inevitably brings regret that we could not have appreciation and honor for our body and its source.”
“In the end, suicide is a understandable act, but I do not believe that it ever brings the desired consequences, for all of our karma, physical and psychological, will follow us. The psychological will follow us immediately into the afterlife and be negatively affected by our suicide, and then both streams of karma will follow us into the next rebirth. How all that affects us is probably partially individual, related to differing circumstances and character, but is obviously generally not a positive move.”
This is sobering, and yet needed to be offered with a balance of deep empathy. There is no way sometimes to avoid speaking in this way. It may, in fact, propel a person into action to seek help.
Ramaji explains suicidal depression as a not infrequent accompaniment of many modern enlightenment breakthroughs:
"Suicidal depression in which the thought "I cannot live anymore in this painful state" keeps appearing as a pattern in modern day time. Eckhart Tolle awakened this way. Jeff Foster awakened this way. One of my students also awakened this way...What I learned from the student who went through this process is that the thought pattern was spiritually precise. It was not an ordinary suicide drama, a call for attention motivated by self-pity and narcissism. The specific thought pattern was "I cannot stand this 'I' anymore. I want this I to die!" Looked at closely, this is a revelation. A differentiation is being made between one I, the false I, and another I, the true I... At this stage, it is not necessary to know who the true I is. What is needed is to know that "you" are not the false I. In this knowing, an urgency for the death of the false I escalates...The student who explained this process so eloquently to me also pointed out that the depression functioned in a positive way, fixing and stabilizing the mind. A typical problem for seekers is the the mind jumps around and will not focus. In the case of depression, the weight of that state holds the mind down..." (342)
Foster characterized his post-awakened state as one, no longer of being "de-pressed", but now of "deep-rest."
Easier said than done, no doubt, but needing mention.
Positive, hopeful views on the subject
Help is always being sent our way, and from unexpected sources. Bill Buggenheim, authority and researcher on a cousin of near-death experiences (NDE's), called 'ADC's' ('After Death Conversations'), reports on a specific category of such contacts from the beyond:
"In all the cases we recorded a deceased loved one intervened and dissuaded them from taking their own lives. They were told that committing suicide was not the way out of their problems. Because of the sheer transformative power of a suicide intervention ADC, these people were given another chance on Earth to work out the great emotional pain, fear, and confusion that led to their near-suicides."
He mentions a specific subset of this form of intervention:
"People who are suicidal are often contacted by deceased loved ones who took their own lives by suicide. It seems that deceased loved ones who have taken their own lives by suicide have a special mission to dissuade others from taking their lives." (343)
So all such souls are not lost after all; some good for them and others may in fact come out of their misfortune. In this respect, I was privy to a case such as this while at the feet of a great Master, wherein a desperate man took his life after what appeared to be harsh treatment by the latter, upon which a spiritual confidant of mine said that in this instance the Master may have felt that the man, whom He had repeatedly called his 'friend', may have had a physical vehicle no longer of use to him in this life. Of course this is not to be taken as an excuse for inappropriate conduct on anyone's paFor the complete story and my own intimate confessions, please see "The Death of a Dream and a Gift of Truth" in Appendix 1.
In Your Soul's Gift, author Robert Swartz has collected many channeled messages by and for those who have committed suicide or have a loved one who has done the same. While we usually look askance at such material, preferring the direct words of sages, due to the high probability of contamination from an egoic-perspective, there are so many accounts of this nature being transmitted at this time, many apparently quite sober, that we can not merely dismiss them put of hand. And in almost all cases, non-judgement by oneself, the soul, or God is the central theme. This is a much-needed message. In contrast with the afore-mentioned admonitions of the masters, it is not always considered to be the worst possible action, but rather, while certainly a free choice, is also seen as a product of a hard life, chosen in love, on this Earth at the present time for the learning of certain lessons which may simply prove too difficult to fulfill. Jeshua states:
"Suicide is not wrong. Spiritually, suicide is simply a possibility,a choice one can make among others. it is not necessarily the worst choice one could make. Let me explain. Sometimes a person can get sop stuck in a certain mood, a state of mind, that it is very hard to get out of it without taking drastic measures. Life is all about change. If you get stuck in one state of mind for a very long time it becomes unbearable, and life itself will force you to do something, even if it means you take your own life."
"Cameron, for example, landed in a deep depression and tried several ways of getting out. He did his utmost to come to terms with very difficult emotions. He had a fierce temper, combined with a very sensitive and kind-hearted side. it was hard to balance the two. There were angry parts inside of him that he dared not face. The energy got stuck there, and in the end it became impossible for him to stay in touch with the natural flow of his feelings. He became shut off from himself. He felt as though he were dead while alive. This is a very painful state of being. He committed suicide as an act of desperation but ultimately also as an act of hope - a hope for change, any change."
"Now, would he have healed if he had not killed himself? It is not certain. We do know that right after he killed himself, he regained his feelings. He awoke in the shock and horror of realizing that he had cut himself off from the ones he loved. While physically alive he could not feel his love for them anymore. When dead he realized the full extent of his love, and from the soul's perspective this was a great breakthrough. The suicide forced change upon Cameron, and in his case it worked out well. It was a turning point for his soul...In saying this I wish to take away the traditional judgement about suicide, that it is the gravest sin. God or Spirit does not feel this way. God has the greatest compassion for people who take their lives in despair. There is always help available for them on the other side. They are never abandoned." (344)
'Aaron' concludes this point of view for us:
"Society does not yet recognize that there is a sanctity on suicidal thoughts. The one who contemplates suicide is a Holy Being standing at a crossroad. From that crossroad, regardless of the decision made, one being will die and another will be born. If suicide is not chosen, then the one who wanted to die in fact died, and a new person, equally holy and now laying claim to physical life, is born. If suicide is chosen, then the one who wanted to die in fact died, and a new being, equally holy and now laying claim to nonphysical life, is born. For the soul a divine rebirth occurs at a crossroad and there is no judgement of either form the rebirth may take. Whether physical or nonphysical, the new life is known by the soul to be sacred. If the rebirth is into the nonphysical realm, the soul does not view the suicide as bad, sinful, or an affront to God. In complete nonjudgement and with utter compassion and unconditional love, the soul simply says, "The lessons are unfinished. Let's try again." (345)
Nor must it be understood that the 'lessons' will be necessarily dealt with in the very next life; there may very well be difficult and easy lives following upon one other, with certain things reserved for a later time when they may be more successfully processed. Very few are ready or capable of handling all of their karmic 'debt' in one go without breaking under the strain. It takes grace and a rare and heroic personality.
This book speaks to the subject of 'pre-life' planning, and the role of the wisdom of guides, important persons, the soul, and Spirit in overlooking the future lives of personality. It says that while suicide as such is never planned as part of a life experience, the possibility and even probability of it may be, in cases of what maybe an extremely challenging life. In fact any such pre-llfe planning is not set in stone, with alternate scenarios also planned, and in which at any stage free-will is always an intervening factor. Also, the plan is not just for the individual, but also for those who may play the role of the apparent abuser or adversary, for healing karmic reasons of their own. There are many variations on the theme, but it basically comes down to learning self-love and non-judgemental compassion. There may even be cases where a more advanced soul will sacrifice its growth temporarily in order to serve the learning process of another. The seemingly unlikely example is given of such a one choosing a difficult life of becoming an alcoholic, for instance, to increase the tolerance and compassion of someone else. We say 'seemingly unlikely example', because a fundamental tenet of this point of view is that things are not always what they seem in this life.
The very introduction of the idea that there may be such planning seems a good step in introducing a necessary element of loving-compassion to a delicate topic. That such actual processing actively takes place in the 'beyond' is a long ways from the 'howling through the Bardos' and being 'blown helplessly on the winds of karma' as taught in Tibetan Buddhism. Yet we do not feel uncomfortable in granting an intermediate reality and a guiding intelligence to such experience, and feel that a blending of the wisdom of the East and the West is reasonable and necessary at this point in time of human history.
Spirit guide Seth tells us:
"Suicides, as a class, for example, do not have any particular "punishment" meted out to them, nor is their condition any worse a priori. They are treated as individuals. Any problems that were not faced in this life will, however, be faced in another one. This applies not only to suicides, however."
"The conditions connected with an act of suicide are also important, and the inner reality and realization of the individual. I mention this here because many philosophers teach that suicides are met by a sort of special, almost vindictive fate, and such is not the case. However, if a person kills himself, believing that the act will annihilate his consciousness forever, then this false idea may severely impede his progress, for it will be further intensified by guilt."
"Again, teachers are available to explain the true situation. Various therapies are used. For example, the personality is allowed to change the decision. An amnesia effect is induced, so that the suicide itself is forgotten. Only later is the individual informed of the act, when he is better able to face it and understand it." (346)
One other point before leaving this issue of life-planning, which further deepens the need for non-judgement, is that some events, like suicide, may be decided by soul and personality during life, but in a way that avoids the actual taking of ones life, for various reasons. The example is given of one such personality, who, having experienced a life ever since his time of birth with so much unbearable sadness, remorse, lack of forgiveness, and the feeling of being unloved, but not wanting to commit suicide, 'made' a contract with his soul (possibly during the sleep state), and to which the soul 'agreed', to develop AIDS (in a time when there was no cure), and thereby withdraw the soul's energy and exit the earth plane in this manner, without the actual consequence of suicide and also to receive much love and caring which he had been missing his entire life. This is a possibility which may happen with some frequency, and who is to judge such things? Certainly not the soul, which is an all-loving being.
However, the soul is not an all-knowing being, otherwise why would it send forth an projection to garner experience in the dimensional worlds, such experience which is distilled and passed 'upwards' to enrich the soul and, according to some teachings? Therefore, ordinarily, the personality cannot be killed even by such an act. According to other channeled material, that of the entity Michael (an entity or group of 1050 souls whose base is said to be on the causal plane - wise, therefore, but not omniscient - and which are in turn said to be aided and informed by beings from even higher frequency, formless, non-personal planes), there is, however, a rare form of self-termination called astral suicide, in which the the essence or deeper individuality itself decides to terminate its current incarnational cycle on this planet with its gradual development both horizontally and vertically, and be abruptly reabsorbed. Such is said to occur only to 'deeply troubled souls', something difficult to understand and no doubt a controversial idea. What is lost in such a case? Presumably the opportunity provided by incarnational experience, such as increasing self-awareness of the soul's emanant or projection, paradoxically and simultaneously becoming more impersonal and more individuated, in an ongoing enrichment of the soul itself and of the whole. Even here, there is said to be only a deferral until a next great cycle begins with the 'casting forth' of the divine spark (in truth, not really 'cast out' but extended non-separately and dynamically within the whole), and of which there are many such enrichment and expansive, creative cycles in a perpetually expanding and 'ascending' spiral, with nothing ever lost in 'All That Is', our true and ultimate identity. It is not actual annihilation, therefore, but a postponement. To say it is a major postponement is also both true and not true, for we cannot rightfully speak of these things in terms of time and space, our journey not being a fixed or necessarily linear one.
Terminal illness
There is one more issue to mention, somewhat a continuation of the previous line of thought, and for which there is also no hard and fast answer. That is the difficult situation of painful, hopeless terminal illness. While we have options not available to those in the ancient past in terms of life-prolonging but not necessarily life-enhancing technologies, there is the issue of enduring until the bitter end (which - the end itself - is often a beautiful release), or simply ceasing to struggle. The two, of course, are not mutually exclusive. Especially if one has a gracious Master he may be better off enduring, recognizing that his very pain is a balancing of karma, to be embraced if at all possible. It is in any case a time of self-surrender into the arms of grace. The state of mind is more important than what path is actually chosen. Rather than end life on a sad note of failure, Anya Foos-Graber writes:
"In everyday life, people speak about making a "good first impression." Well, at the time of death, we have an opportunity to make a good "last impression" - on the cosmic memory banks of the Universal Mind, that is. If it is a really good last impression, we may not have to return to human form - the soul will evolve on a higher dimensional octave of creation." (347)
Here of course she is talking of the Hindu and Buddhist traditional importance given to the last thoughts upon dying as a major determinant of the soul's destiny. It is not the only determinant - one's overall character, intention, aspiration, and karmic completion, are equally if not more important. But it is said that we may in a sense miss out on such an opportunity if we are not truly 'there' for our death. This does not apply for those who are in a tragic accident, or who die in a natural coma or the like, for these are involuntary, and in fact many saints have passed in such conditions. Yet, even so, we also do not know another man's heart or the karma he has chosen to work out in this life and are, therefore, in no position to cast the first stone one way or the other on anyone.
Regarding terminal illness, there is one scriptural precedent we are aware of for a way of dealing with such a situation that must be mentioned. This is by voluntary fasting to death. In the Garuda Purana Lord Krishna says:
"The man, who realizing his inevitable demise, dies by fasting, leaves the human form and secures an effulgence equal to me. The person who on realizing that he is suffering from an incurable disease observes a fast until death never has to suffer again from disease, and he reigns in heavens like a god. If a mortally sick man takes Sannayasa [renunciation of the world] he is relieved from the cycle of rebirth from this world full of sorrows and afflictions. The one who during his last days forsakes his sons, wealth etc, and takes recourse in a holy place, gains both contentment and nourishment. In fact, if such a person, after undertaking his vow, even dies before he has reached the holy place, even then he gains a meritorious place amongst the great saints. If he dies under the vow at his house, even then he goes straight to the heavens. The person who during his last days, casts off food and water, and drinks only the waters from my feet, he is not reborn on this earth...The one who embraces his inevitable death by voluntarily fasting, he gains an everlasting merit." (348)
Such a practice was also followed by the Essenes of Palestine and the Jains of India. In Jainism, purported by some to be the most ancient root-religion of india itself, it is called sallakhana, the rite of voluntary self-starvation, and countenanced only if one is in the final throws of his existence, and then only if undertaken with the purest of intentions. The parents of the avatar Mahavira, and later Mahavira himself, ended their lives with sallakhana. For all these societies it was not considered a form of sin. It must be uncategorically stated, however, that this is not suggested as an ‘out’ for the young whose life-force is yet a long way from ebbing away. Nor, again, is it, in fact, a recommendation for anyone. The quotation above was specifically addressed to a devotee of Krishna - and, a long time ago. We have the opposite words in the Gospel, “He who endures until the end shall win an eternal crown, which the Lord has promised to them that love Him.” Sri Nisargadatta and V.S. Iyer felt that endurance was the wisest choice no matter what the circumstance. But what can one say about the Buddhist monks who burned themselves to death in protest of political injustice? Was it wrong? It is for a higher power and/or the individual to weigh such things. Similarly, is it wrong for a terminally ill person to refuse medical intervention and technological enhancements, suffering to the bitter end, to the financial ruin of many as well as the poor quality of life they more often promise - when death appears inevitable? We think not. The American radical economist, educator, writer, political activist, homesteader and advocate of simple living, Scott Nearing, made this choice at the age of 100. Again, each one must decide, but there are positive views on making such a decision. Jeshua states:
"Sometimes it will be quite obvious that someone will not survive a disease anymore. The body gradually succumbs to the disease. The 'earthly "frame" does not persist. At that moment what does the soul that finds itself within the body do? As long as you keep resisting the disease, you cannot get in touch with your soul and your inner knowing that tells you that it is time to say goodbye. Sometimes you sense in advance that you have to leave,. but the idea strikes you with such horror and sorrow that you keep on fighting. You are eager to try another treatment or wait for the that new medicine to be launched."
"This is quite understandable and I certainly do not want you to condemn this attitude, but you are hurting yourself in a terrible way. If you let go and allow death to come closer, you will notice that death is not an opponent but instead is a friend. Death releases you from the struggle."
"It would be a pity to overshadow this process by an attitude of battle in which you try to hold to life at any expense. Often by then the body has already become so fragile that life is not worth living anymore. Let it go. Death is a liberator who is there to serve you. Death is not your enemy. Death brings you new life." (349)
We do not label or judge this particular situation a suicide, whether one stops eating or simply refuses advanced medical help.The sage Plotinus felt that suicide was neither good nor bad. Like everything in the realm of relativity, however, this all depends on circumstances and intent.
Special cases
Some have put forth the argument that, based on stories that such and such great Zen master committed suicide, or that even very good teachers that they have known were 'clear as a bell' one day, and 'overwhelmed with depression' the next, that such is the nature of Reality, of what is, even of Enlightenment, since there is no perfect human, without weaknesses or flaws. This itself, in our view, is flawed reasoning. That there are very few people purified of emotional karmas to the extent signified by even the second of the Buddha's four stages ('stream-enterer', 'once-returner', non-returner', 'Arhant'), does not indicate that this is the nature of enlightenment, or that anything goes and our current state is just the 'luck of the draw', so to speak. Enlightenment implies more than just an understanding, but also a transformation. A Zen Master who commits suicide out of despair, or a teacher 'overwhelmed with depression' on any given day, then, most likely can not be said to exemplify an enlightened state, as uncomfortable as that may be to accept. Everyone is as awakened and purified as they can be, no doubt, given where they stand. There is no praise or blame, and therefore compassion is always in order. But true mastery implies outgrowing of lower stages of development, or it does not merit the name. Realization is the work of many lifetimes. Of course, without appreciating the law of karma, this position may not be acceptable to some. Yet that remains the nature of things, in our position. Therefore, upon hearing of the following story from The Travels of Fa-hsien, we do not believe it a genuine portrayal of truth:
"Issuing from the north of the Old City (Patna in Central India) and going down for three li to the east, there is Devadatta's rock cave; and fifty paces from this, there is a large square black rock. Formerly, a religious mendicant, pacing backwards and forwards on it, reflected as follows: - 'This body of mine suffers the bitterness of impermanency; in vain do I attain to an outlook which is not impure. I loathe this body!' Thereupon he seized a knife,meaning to kill himself; but he once more reflected: 'The World-Honored One has set his canon against self-slaughter.' Then he further reflected: 'Although this is so, I now only desire to slay three baneful thieves, - lust, hate, and ignorance.' He then took the knife and cut his throat. At the beginning of the cut he became a Srotapanna (stream enterer); when half through, an Anagamin (non-returner); and when quite through he became an Arhant, and attained to pari-nirvana (and died)." (350)
There are, however, instances wherein a sage has committed suicide - but not for urgent emotional reasons. Socrates drank poison Hemlock when he could have escaped his fate merely by professing allegiance to the state, rather than set a moral example for the youth of Athens. This can not be called suicide. Similarly, knowing the time of his death had come, a famous Tibetan Lama, Alak Zenkar Thupten Nyima Rinpoche (1881-1943), took a poisoned cup from an enemy, saying, "This cup is for me. I must drink it by myself...I was offered poison by the same person for the third time. This time I took it, for the time of my death has also arrived." He asked everyone present not to harm the person by any means, and passed away amidst miraculous signs. (351) It has been said that the same happened to the great Milarepa: a jealous monk had him poisoned, and he knew of it but used it as a teaching demonstration, with rainbows and all. This also would not be considered life-negative or inauspicious, but rather a conscious action by one in tune with the greater will.
Andrew Holocek writes on his website of other such special cases:
“There are extraordinary stories of Lamas in Tibet being led to execution by the Chinese. Some of these Lamas would eject their consciousness (phowa) before the execution, an act that would normally be considered suicide. Some masters have said that these Lamas were doing phowma as a way to prevent their executioners from accruing the enormous negative karma of murder. In these exceptional cases, which only high Lamas are even capable of performing, “suicide” is the best karmic act. (352)
But as a Buddhist he adds that for most suicide remains a negative karmic act, if only because it is very difficult to commit suicide in a positive and clear mental state, which will then carry forward into the Bardos and beyond, even though one will certainly receive help. A further discussion on this issue of whether an enlightened being would commott suicide will be given in the next two sections.
The Story of the Fifth and Sixth Patriarchs
Thus, the time factor is necessary. One way of looking at this is by reviewing the famous epsiode in the life of the Sixth Patriarch of Zen, Hui-neng. The Fifth Patriarch, in deciding who would be his successor, wrote a phrase on the monastery well, to the effect, “the mind is like a mirror bright upon which dust collects; be careful to polish it regularly.” The young soon-to-be Sixth Patriarch won the master’s staff when he secretly wrote at night, “the mind is not a mirror-bright, there is no dust and nothing on which it to collect it.” The latter statement was recognized as the ultimate Truth by the Fifth Patriarch, and is grabbed onto by some as confirming a belief that there is nothing to do to effect their liberation other than to contemplate such words. Yet the paradox of practice is that, while that is the truth, in order to recognize it in a deep way, one must first practice according to the words of the Fifth Patriarch! The reason being that we all have our ‘stopping points’, or our ‘razor’s edge’, wherein we will stop short of letting go of our fixed views and ego-centric clutching. Practice means to be with whatever arises while also living a life of basic virtue, which will reveal our flaws and ancient habit-patterns so we can truly release them and allow grace to work upon us. We do not eactly ‘polish the mirror’, per se, by doing a lot of fancy inner manuevering, but face reality and allow it to ‘do us in’. It is a practice, however, which we by tendency will choose to run away from at some point, until true completion. Thus the stages.
In this light we can see the flaw in the following reasoning, recently posted by one respected Buddhist practitioner:
“I just got word that someone I knew took his own life recently, someone who had a very clear nondual understanding. Many years ago, I remember hearing of a Zen teacher who committed suicide. His students found him hanging. What a teaching! Many people imagine that “enlightenment” (whatever that might be) means you wouldn’t do something like that – you wouldn’t kill yourself, you wouldn’t be depressed, you wouldn’t have financial problems or health problems or personal problems or problems of any kind—you wouldn’t need Zoloft—and if you were terminally ill, you wouldn’t want the morphine—you’d want to be clear and alert and “fully present” at the moment of your death (presumably so that you could get a good start on a successful new incarnation of your self – ho ho ho)...”
Leaving aside the contradiction in presuming to give a fresh perspective on enlightenment, while saying “enlightenment - whatever that is”, this quote gives the impression that we just do not understand the enlightened condition, that it has nothing to do with the world of relativity, and virtually ‘anything goes’ for the enlightened person. Further, we are what we are, genetically, physically, emotionally, mentally, solely by the 'luck of the draw', or Nature, or Fate. Of course, nobody is perfect, that is agreed - but that is also not the point, nor is it a criteria for establishing the nature of the enlightened condition. The same writer goes on to say that "all of the best teachers I have known could be clear as a bell one day, and 'overwhelmed by depression' the next." Overwhelmed? Maybe a good teacher could be, but even then, it would be, one would think, more like a passing cloud, not an 'overwhelm'. If liberation means anything according to the best sources available to us, this is not possible for anyone after stage two (once-returner'). Nearly all emotional and mental karmas are eradicated or burned through by that stage and such dramatic and unpredictable oscillations are not possible; rather, the basic disposition in the person's blood is a solid faith and high valuation of the preciousness of the human incarnation. If such tendencies or obscurations are still there then something has been bypassed or unfulfilled. If one is inclined to intense depression, bad health, compromised faculties, etc., one must accept this as a result of past karmas. It is not just 'the luck of the draw', which in Buddhism would be considered the 'wrong view' of 'nihilism', or disbelief or regard for the law of action. After the third stage ('non-returner') all such karma is gone, and after stage four ('Arhat') belief in ego is also eradicated and true non-duality of Buddhahood is near. We suggest, then, to the contrary, that such a view of enlightenment as the above is much too limited and one-dimensional, and comes close to, as Patrul Rinpoche writes, "using the Dharma language of the highest views to scorn the principle of cause and effect," which means to "use the teaching of the absolute truth as a pretext for saying that there is no difference between good or bad, samsara and nirvana, or Buddhas and ordinary beings." (353) This can only lead to the error of pride and conceit.
Padmasambhava in this context said, "My 'view' is higher than the sky, but my attention to my actions and their affects is finer than flour." Therefore we say that, with rare exceptions and for exceptional reasons, that the truly enlightened person or one with a ‘very clear non-dual understanding' - and not just an intellectual one - would never commit suicide, and certainly not compulsively for emotional reasons. This is not a judgement. We are saying, however, that any 'Zen master' who would hang himself may have been as enlightened or awakened as he could be, as we all are, but was not transformed to the degree necessary to withstand the ‘avalanche of residual karmas associated with his karmic stream manifested as his present body-mind complex’. We also say that many awakenings, and even much non-dual understanding may be in place before its penetration to the depths of all of one’s bodies or vehicles, koshas, planes, elements, etc., is complete, resulting in what could be called the positive non-dual rebirth, peace, bliss, and eternal virtue of the Nirvanic condition. According to the Tibetan teachings, there needs to be not only the purification of dualistic obscurations to non-dual realization, but also the accumulation of merit and wisdom as support for the latter. A total transformation and not only an understanding or even realization of 'emptiness' is required.
And, as Rinpoche quotes from the sutras, "Until one has completed the two sacred accumulations, One will never realize the sacred emptiness." (354) "Sacred" in this instance means not only emptiness, which may be rather dry, so to speak, but "emptiness-clarity-compassion", the full fruit of the realized condition. This is not necessarily automatically achieved by technique or understanding alone, but simultaneously through the growth in merit and relative wisdom as well. In this way when one does realize the 'emptiness' of self and phenomena, he will not be inclined to dwell there, but as a result of the habit of bodhicitta or unlimited compassion for all beings cultivated and accumulated over time, he will achieve or actualize the Great Perfection. This is to say, the Great Perfection is not only the primordial unity of emptiness-awareness, emptiness-clarity, emptiness-luminosity, or emptiness-appearances, but all four of these and bodhicitta or compassion as well. And in this case compassion is not a mere nicety or byproduct of emptiness, but almost an 'ontological' component of reality itself. Thus the words and actions of a person or teacher are truly effective if they spring from both 'silence' and 'love', or emptiness and bodhicitta. To summarize St. Paul from 1st Corinthians chapter 13, "Thou I speak with the words of angels they are but clanging gongs and crashing cymbals without love."
This is not to say there are not higher points of view, with the previous ones sublated as one's understanding is increased. Patrul Rinpoche certainly acknowledges this, quoting Master Chegyom:
"To believe in the effects of actions is the right view for those with ordinary faculties. To realize all inner and outer phenomena is the union both of appearance and emptiness, and of awareness and emptiness, is the right view for those of higher faculties. To realize that the view, the one who holds it and realization itself are indivisable [i.e., without intrinsic reality, a 'magical display' of awareness, empty and naturally radiant] is the right view for those of the highest faculties...To be as wary about the effects of actions as one is careful to protect one's eyes is the right action for those of ordinary faculties. To act while experiencing everything as a dream and an illusion is the right action for those of higher faculties. Total non-action [i.e., beyond conceptualizing, realizing that the actor, the action and the object acted upon are all without intrinsic reality] is the right action for those of the highest faculties."
However, he wisely points out that:
"The progressive diminution of ego-clinging, negative emotions, and thoughts is the sign of "warmth" [i.e., effective practice] for all practitioners, be they of ordinary, higher or the highest faculties." (355)
This means that the notion that enlightenment is completely unrelated to the realm of relativity is simply a wrong view, and that comments uttered by modern 'sages', such as "son-of-a-bitch before enlightenment, son-of-a-bitch after enlightenment," or "you may awaken into a state of hell," are not indicative of true realization! The essence of the lower qualities or faculties are retained in the higher, and not simply negated; therefore, the sage is not a brute or a fool, or else he is not a sage. It is a sign of a dark age that one even has to discuss this point.
Once again, there is an important emphasis in the traditional Buddhist and Dzogchen view on the difference between wisdom/realization and merit, and the necessity to cultivate both as two facets of spiritual development - the accumulation of positive karma, virtue, and relative wisdom on the one hand, and the cultivation of nondual realization on the other. The two are not unrelated, and to think they are not is to fail to embrace the fact that relative wisdom and knowledge can enhance our ability to serve awakening in the relative universe; this omission contributes to some of the over-simplistic tendencies of the neo-Advaita movement in the west today. To some extent one might even say Ramana was responsible for this with his leanings towards emptiness and view of the tattvas, elements, etc., as simply 'rubbish to be thrown away'. There is a profound esoteric interrelationship between the seven elements, seven 'rays', seven planes, seven chakras, seven (or nine) 'initiations', and many other correlations, that has a bearing on the depths of realization. Or so it is said.
Progression to Non-dual Realization and Beyond
This may seem to be getting away from our subject of suicide, but here is a suggestion of how this might work out from an esoteric perspective. On ‘inversion paths’, such as Sant Mat, theosophy, or kriya yoga - keeping in mind that nondual insight may be present at any plane - or any stage, as this is not necesarily a linear process, in this or any one lifetime - one would first transcend the ‘lower triad’, or the physical, astral or emotional, and mental bodies: inter alia, the ‘three worlds’. Then one would, rising higher, pass into the ‘higher triad’, or atma-buddhi-manas, or in Sant Mat terms, formless or ‘spiritual’ planes consisting of vijnananomaya and anandamaya koshas, or planes (with sub-stages) known as Daswan Dwar, the void of Maha Sunn, and Bhanwar Gupta. At this point one has made a passage that can be considered the equivalent of the ‘Great Death’ in Zen, leading subsequently to a total rebirth into the direct non-dual reality in Sach Khand, or Sat Lok - considered on this path as the ‘first stage of God-realization’. This is actually both a plane and a realization; it is carried outward and downward also. Stages ‘beyond Atman’ realized in Sach Khand are termed variously as Alakh, Agam, and Anami (i.e., Nirguna). In theosophy they refer to this passage from the higher individuality or upper triad (the ‘higher part of the soul’ in Christian mysticism) to the first non-dual plane as the ‘breaking of the buddhic lotus in the causal body’, freeing the ‘jewel in the lotus’ to merge or be absorbed into the Atman - which they call the Monad or Spirit. We know further that this must then be integrated downward through all the planes, although it happens to a degree effortlessly once attainment in Sach Khand is reached.
However, we also know that attainment may be had on ‘non-inversion’ paths, such as Dzogchen, Vipassanna, Zen (shikantaza), Vedanta, etc.. The reason behind this is that non-duality is the essence of all the planes, all of which interpenetrate and can be realized, transformed, and transcended ‘in place’. But it tends to be an ordeal in stages nevertheless. Stages may not appear in a linear way, but they are not essentially be bypassed either. Oscillations may occur many times until maturity and stability is reached.
What is the result? That has been the topic of this paper. Let’s call it non-dual real-ization or actualization, although some teachers are now confessing to becoming tired of speaking about non-duality! Is it individual or universal, personal or impersonal? Such words no longer apply; suffice it to say there are Mysteries here. As PB wrote:
In many traditions there are spoken of further transcendental stages beyond initial nondual liberation, as alluded to by Aadi and PB. As mentioned, in Sant Mat there are Alakh, Agam, and Anami (referring to by words such as the ‘unknowable, inaccessible, the nameless’); in the sapta-jnana-bhumika system as mentioned in the Varaha Upanishad as well as the Yog-Vashista, there are ‘seven stages of wisdom.’ Stage four is jivanmukti - liberation - with three stages ‘beyond’ this. In Buddhism, as mentioned, after the enlightened Arhat stage there are supposedly Bodhisattva and Buddha stages. They speak of at least ‘four liberated realms’ beyond the so-called six realms of samsaric transmigration [which six realms include the 'god' realms - sometimes interpreted psychologically as a realm of 'pleasure', while at other times metaphysically as being both realms of pure form and formless]. All of these liberated realms constitute Nirvanic existence, which apparently is not just one big ‘soup’. In theosophy, likewise, they speak of ‘higher octaves’, such that of the basic seven planes of existence, the human ‘atmic plane’ becomes the first ‘cosmic etheric plane’. These are said to represent different possibilites of liberated spiritual evolution.
Again, this is getting way too complicated, and few are concerned about these things on a daily basis. On a more accessible level we have the confession of Zen master Bankei, who confessed that thirty years after his great life-changing satori realizations, nothing in essence had changed, yet the difference from then to now made 'all the difference between Heaven and Earth.' Similar remarks were made by Hakuin who had many breakthroughs before being ‘utterly smashed’ by his masters. The difference was that there was no longer any reaction in the body-mind instrument, and their non-dual realization was complete. They finally knew their self directly, and perhaps even warts and all. No way they were going to commit suicide. Would the Buddha commit suicide? Maybe in one of his many, many past incarnations before he was fully a Buddha, but even then he confessed that he had been long ‘free of the conceit of a separate self.’ Philosophically it may be considered possible, but practically speaking, it is not likely. This seems to be another example of teachers with recovering addictions (of whom there are a surprisingly high number) having some type of awakening, and, seeing their karmic limitations, making high philosophy of non-doership to justify them, instead of accepting their situation, without blame, while striving to improve where possible. The problem is awakening and not accepting the warts,and this happens frequently.
The important thing is for a teaching to be broad enough to permit the student or aspirant the breathing space or room to recognize, acknowledge, accept and embrace what is arising for them and without seeking a technique or remedy or idealistic solution to escape it all as if it was just wrong, instead of as an entirely acceptable manifestation of their incarnation emerging in limitation and not just that of a fallen soul. Saniel Bonder, speaking out of a different tradition, one of embodied awakening, illustrates this predicament for us in what I feel is a wonderfully relieving way. From a seminar introduction:
“In the original manuscript of The Tantra of Trust, Saniel told of speaking to an already awakened practitioner who had been falling into depressed, hopeless and even hellish states, some perhaps intensified by a long recent visit with her aging, sick parents. Saniel suggested that she needed to learn 'how to think like a tantric yogini”:
"'You are going through an esoteric transmutation, but you’ve now encountered a portion of it that you aren’t in a position to recognize as such…[This is] one of the possible symptoms of what we call ‘Chaordic Embodiment’ – simultaneously chaotic even to an extreme, and yet somehow, from a larger, more paradoxical perspective, perfectly on cue and rolling out [orderly] just like it should."
"Learning how to think like a tantric yogini means you will find it utterly necessary to learn how to interpret phenomena like these as authentic symptoms of your divinely human incarnation. This is you - YOU, the divinely human being, the Goddess-woman - bringing your impersonal realization of the Absolute into very personal, extremely limited, incarnate life. This is you taking the heroine’s journey. This is like Jesus dying on the cross and descending into hell. Except that, as you point out, no one gets to have such lovely thoughts of ‘Aha! My descent into hell at last! Now I’m really on my heroine’s journey!’ No, instead...it seems to you that all the underpinnings of your whole life are falling away." [i.e., the dark night phenomenon]
"The problem here, if you want to call it that, is that the dimensions of your being that you are now encountering never signed up for this enlightenment crap to begin with! So in this bizarre, chaotic fashion you have arranged for yourself [or, as sometimes said, been caught in the "Master Trap"] to be sequestered in a situation that gives you no room for anything but to fall into these deepest places in yourself...Welcome to your broken zones!” (357)
"A whole other crew of identity fragments, those of the awakening soul, the liminal or imaginal psyche, and even the World-Soul itself, can also come alive and awake in this radically chaordic process. Moreover, the sequence of all these experiences arising won’t likely conform to any neat, linear maps of how advanced human development is supposed to unfold...One moment, hour, or day you can feel like you’re in the pits of hell, devastated and beyond hope. The next you can feel luminous, serene, with catalytic capacities coming online in your being that you would have thought only advanced mystics could ever access...Sometimes this chaordic overflow of what may appear to be mutually exclusive states can be taking place all at once! It can get pretty unnerving. Or not: there can be so much blah, gray zone, everyday ordinariness, an almost stubborn mediocrity. Yet, all taken together, it somehow strengthens and empowers you in ways you’ve never experienced before.” (358)
These are very encouraging words in accord with the actual experience of many. As one other book was entitled, You’re Not Going Crazy, You’re Just Waking Up. If only the welcoming of the entirety of our being were there, much unnecessary heartache might be avoided. Yet too often the advice given is to double down on the dualistic search, spiritual bypassing remains in place, and the light within the darkness is not allowed to emerge and we remain deeply split within ourselves.
Final words of hope
Be all this as it may, we believe firmly that, “all things work together for the good for those who love God.” Just having faith in the face of hopelessness is evidence of such love, and the way through all troubles. Dear one, do not doubt these words! PB offers us this loving promise:
"When life in the world becomes so formidable or so frightening that in desperation or bewilderment, panic or mental unbalance, the idea of suicide seems the only way out, then the time has come for a man to cast his burden on the Higher Power."
"Indeed, the hour may come when, purified from the ego's partiality, he will kiss the cross that brought him such agony and when, healed of his blindness, he will see that it was a gift from loving hands, not a curse from evil lips. He will see too that in his former insistence on clinging to a lower standpoint, there was no other way of arousing him to the need and value of a higher one than the way of unloosed suffering. But at last the wound has healed perfectly leaving him, as a scar of remembrance, greatly increased wisdom." (359)
“You are never alone. There are powers and presences who serve you all the time most faithfully. You may or may not perceive them, nevertheless they are real and active." - Sri Nisargadatta (360)
Also, for those so fortunate to have faith in a Friend who has taken you under his wing:
"Having received the protection of a God-realized man, do you think he would ever forget you? The Master always holds his disciples in the innermost heart center." - Kirpal Singh
Whose heart center? His and yours, of course, for they are the same. One is never out of it. And always remember, no matter who says otherwise:
“He who has attuned himself to the Lord, even for a moment, has not wasted his life.” - Adi Granth
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
A few juicy stories; Pre-incarnational planning and the uniqueness of our experiences; “Communications that are truly from God have this trait: They simultaneously exalt and humble the soul...Accordingly, the Wise Man’s words are fulfilled: Before the soul is exalted, it is humbled, and before it is humbled, it is exalted”; Five stories; Comments on the nature of visions
A friend wrote the following that made me think of changing the heading for this section:
“When we have a sharing of stories in Satsang, there is a lot of exaggeration, and creeping distortion is evident. Those with the juiciest stories are the worst! The same story the second time around is usually recolored and embellished to glorify the teller and the Master at the same time. Often the telling of a story is a big ego download with someone feeling special, and not serving the awakening process in anyone."
As mentioned, in spite of the general rule not to tell others one’s inner experiences, it is a plain fact that many have done so, both with and without permission from their Gurus. The following are a few accounts to serve as a springboard for discussion of questions that arise on how to view such visionary events. It is easy to say they are all meaningless and unimportant, and on one level that is true, but for some they have special meaning at certain times. It needs to be remembered, however, what difference does it make if someone experienced something you had or hadn't? The bedrock of the Teaching is that everyone is on his or her unique spiritual trajectory and fulfillment, promised from the beginning, and any visions have only a limited value for the recipient alone, and are no sign of advancement. "No high, no low," said Kirpal Singh. The path is not linear, and the seeker is the sought, ultimately and actually.That must be kept in mind and pondered frequently.
Pre-incarnational planning and the uniqueness of our experiences
This was discussed in Part One, but a few additional points of understanding that are worth mentioning here before we dive into the visions themselves. Ishwar Puri said that the soul takes part in planning the entire journey of its next incarnation on the causal plane. This idea that we have a part in the arranging of our incarnation is something many self-professed channeled ‘causal’ plane entities like Ramtha, Jeshua, and Seth have been saying for years. Like most things, it is likely partly true. Our higher self is said to oversee our incarnations. This is our true self but from our current state often appears as if it were another being.
Of course, this planning - and perhaps the knowledge of so-called causal plane entities [Why are most of these channeled entities from the causal plane?] - might be considered to be functioning on a lower level than the highest. On the other hand, just as someone could be enlightened on earth, I suppose someone could be enlightened and a "resident" of another plane - why not? But I suspect that is not usually the case. Nevertheless, Sri Nisargadatta speaks plainly on the higher level:
"Those who claim to have selected their father and mother and decided how they are going to live their next life may know for themselves. I know myself. I was never born." (361)
But yet:
"Even the film of destiny (prarabdha) is self-selected and self-imposed. The harder the task, the deeper and wider his self-realization…Before you were born you expected to live according to a plan, which you yourself had lain down. Your own will was the backbone of your destiny. Karma shapes the circumstances; the attitudes are your own. Ultimately your character shapes your life and you alone can shape your character...by seeing it as it is, and being sincerely sorry. This integral seeing-feeling can work miracles." (362)
The arranging, in any case, is likely very often interpreted too personally. It is not likely we are conscious of every detail of what’s coming. Anthony Damiani said no one is here who doesn’t want to be here. PB said “some are anxious to come, and others are half-dragged down.”
For me the importance is simply to be aware that everything is for our overall good and not blind chance. On the other hand, it has been said that it is part of our development to understand why certain things are for our good. Such discrimination goes hand in hand with one's faith.
That we may have had a part in pre-incarnational planning is also a possible reason to be cautious in sharing our experiences or comparing ourselves with others or even with what such and such guru does or says. Then again, not all of our experiences are personally unique, there are also common elements which we can’t help discussing with others.
An important criteria, of course, in distinguishing spiritually valuable experiences from others, or to consider in the sharing of them, is whether they induce humility. St. John of the Cross wrote:
“Communications that are truly from God have this trait: They simultaneously exalt and humble the soul. For on this road, to descend is to ascend and to ascend is to descend, since those who humble themselves are exalted and those who exalt themselves are humbled…Accordingly, the Wise Man’s words are fulfilled: Before the soul is exalted, it is humbled, and before it is humbled, it is exalted [Prv. 18:12].” (363)
Or, as PB succinctly put it:
“Concentration may be a passport to inner attainment, but it needs the visa of humility to make it an impeccable document.” (364)
Story #1:
"Dear Brothers and Sisters,
When Master placed us in meditation he told me to look carefully at his form, which began demonstrating the radiation, which supports all of creation; that is streams of light, energy and love poured out of Master intermingling into rays of sustenance maintaining all of existence. The rays encapsulated and sustained each particle of existence as well as the entire physical universe including inner planes.
Then Master Darshan told me the living Master sustains and loves all of existence from the tiniest particle to its totality. As he spoke, he showed me the smallest possible particle of matter, a squiggle-like note of light, completely surrounded by Master’s radiation and love. There was no way to penetrate this cocoon. The only possible means of reaching physical matter is through the offices of the living Master because if this protecting shell were disturbed, the matter would cease to be.
Then Master Darshan told me dozens and dozens of times that masters have equal love for all souls no matter what the soul’s current state because each soul contains the Godhead and Master could do nothing but love it. He then showed me one of the Lords of the Planes and told me of Master’s great love for this soul who was due for a human birth and the good fortune of initiation in his next life. He continued that although his love for this soul was great, it was no greater than when the soul was mired in sin and showed me truly horrifying past lives of the soul that was now the Lord of a Plane. I saw him as a man wallowing in the torture and degradation of his fellow man. In one life he even tore apart other men and ate them raw. Then I saw him in a hell where he existed as a bacteria-like creature around the edges of a pool that emitted a steamy atmosphere of vomit and ammonia. Yet even there, Master showed me how the Master’s love was unflagging as he sustained the soul in its punishment.
Then Master Darshan held out a bug, I believe an ant, toward me and said he loved this creature as much now as before. He showed me this soul when it had, in its turn, inhabited the body of a Lord of a Plane during a previous existence and many subsequent existences which led the soul into its present form. Master said over and over again that he loves every soul, that the living Master always loves every soul and that the world could never be without a living Master. Then he showed me each of the masters in turn from Nanak and Kabir to the present living Master manifesting this power and love. Then Master Darshan’s form changed into that of his son, Raji, and he said that Raji was his successor; that when he left, Raji would be the Master and administer existence with the same love that Master Darshan has shown.
Next Master Darshan showed me two more areas that the masters control, the distribution of karma and guidance of souls through the inner planes. I saw initiations where Master Darshan approached the bar of justice, which looked like a rough granite block, and physically removed the record of a soul from the care of the Lord of Death, who bowed obsequiously to the Master. Then in some cases, Master Darshan kept the entire record himself, in others he physically gave the rest of it to Raji’s form, and in still others he kept some himself, gave some to Raji, and some to other subsequent masters. As he did so, Master Kirpal and Hazur explained over and over that only the living Master can administer a soul’s karma and that when one master leaves his body, the subsequent one takes over his duties in assisting initiates on the physical plane. Then Hazur and Master Kirpal showed me initiation ceremonies from the time that they were the living Master. Hazur entrusted Master Kirpal with the care of disciples; Master Kirpal entrusted Master Darshan and so forth.
Then Master Darshan told me that Raji would guide souls across the inner planes just as the other masters had done and he showed me Raji’s Radiant Form transversing plane after plane as the Lords and inhabitants of each region paid him, and the souls he escorted, homage. Finally we came to a throne room which Master Darshan told me to observe carefully and tell him what it was. He confirmed it was the throne room of God where evolved souls are received. He told me to look at God’s throne and tell him whom I saw. I saw Master Kirpal come out and sit in the throne. He told me to watch carefully and turned into Master Darshan, then Raji, then quickly to Hazur and one after the other hundreds and hundreds of masters most of whom I couldn’t identify and finally back to Master Kirpal and then Master Darshan and Raji over and over again.
Another place the masters repeatedly took me was to the courtyard of the masters where protected souls who leave the earth plane go, and deliberately contrasted it to the judgement place of the Lord of Death. The masters insisted I carefully note the shinning material and beauty of the courtyard where Master Kirpal sat on a throne on a raised platform. The important element in the place was the brimming over love with which the masters inundated the entire area. This light, love and music formed an atmosphere so uplifting and joyous that each arriving soul immediately perceived the masters’ solace and love for it.
In conjunction with this courtyard, the masters took me to the judgement place ruled over by the Lord of Death. The stark, lifeless stone of his cold area contrasted totally with the love and light of the masters’ courtyard. When the Lord of Death stood behind the Book of Judgement which was on an alter-like slab in front of him, he radiated complete, accurate justice. Master Kirpal and Swami Ji were usually the ones that would point out that the Lord of Death was entirely free of any animus just as surely as he lacked mercy and compassion. The souls judged by him found no comfort. Frequently at this point the masters again showed me what would happen to a soul at the time of initiation. The living Master, Master Darshan, would enter the actual judgment place and approach the Book of Judgment at which point the Lord of Death would step back and relinquish his control over it. The living Master would then remove the records of the initiate from the book. If the initiate’s life on the earth plane was going to extend beyond that of the living Master, the living Master discussed the disposition of his karma with his successors each successor acquiring control of the parts that would occur while he was the living Master. The Master who was explaining to me what was happening would always emphasize that an initiated soul was henceforth free of any dominance by or debt to the Lord of Death. The masters controlled the karma of an initiate and dispensed it with the complete love of the courtyard. Again, I have no words to adequately convey the difference to the soul between the austerity of justice and the love of the masters, nor can I articulate how important and precious this boon is.
Another area the masters repeatedly took me to was to a beautiful throne that guarded a passageway to Sach Khand. Usually I went there with Hazur, Gurus Nanak or Kabir, or Swami Ji and after saying the names for a while, they directed me to look at the throne where Master Kirpal was sitting. They explained that he was sitting on the throne of God and he would change into Hazur, the living Master and then Raji and then to hundreds of other masters and back to himself. Then one of the masters would explain that the only possible way to traverse the pathway into Sach Khand was under the guidance of the living Master of the time. Without this guidance, no soul could pass Master’s throne into Sach Khand. They were exceptionally emphatic about this.
Master has repeatedly said that seeing is believing and that we should all see for ourselves. I offer this letter not in an attempt to tell anyone else what to believe, but to share what Master has shown me.” xxxx
Note: this account appears to be a genuine experience, but not unlikely to a degree influenced by some subjective interpretation by the initiate, which is common if not relatively inevitable in most visions. It gives the impression, for instance, that initiates of an earlier master, such as Kirpal Singh or Darshan Singh, are incapable of reaching Sach Khand without the grace and guidance of the current living master Rajinder Singh. That is to say, if for whatever reason initiates of Kirpal Singh are not active followers of the current living master in this line, and there are many, they are out of luck as far as Sach Khand is concerned. This is not supported in most of Sant Mat literature. One may choose to benefit from the company of a successor master, and it is in fact recommended, but the disciple’s relationship with his initiating master is considered most important. For new initiates on this - and most traditional - paths, however, a connection with a living master is necessary. Further, according to Darshan Singh, if there is to be any alteration of ones pralabh karma it is the living master that can effect that because to do so requires a body. The subjective component in what seems like an ‘objective’ vision may be considered in assessing descriptions of hells and beings therein, conceptions of accessing ‘physical’ matter only with a master’s help because it ‘only exists within a cocoon of the master’s sustaining power’ (a similar conception I had heard of before from a very advanced initiate, that “it is only the Master’s love that keeps the whole world from falling apart.” Here might be a high soul capable of perceiving the Master at the level of Isvara, at least). Nevertheless, this person was on a ‘subtle’ plane making conclusions about seeing ‘physical’ matter, about what physical matter is, and in fact even assuming that so-called matter is an actual ‘thing’ separate from ones perception of it, and other related topics and revelations - all interesting and undoubtedly valuable for the devotee concerned. But the objective or ultimate truth of it all is another matter, because visions almost by definition are received only according to the state of the receiver. Is there actually such a thing as ‘physical’ matter - or is it all mental?, i.e., in consciousness - might be considered a basic metaphysical question which no vision in itself could prove or disprove. Brunton in a somewhat similar context wrote of what he referred to as even high Glimpses of the Truth or Reality: ”They are the ultimate phenomenon - that is, appearances and experiences before realization. They differ at different times, or with different persons, but that is because they come into being as human reactions, as the self’s final point of view before before its own dissolution.” (365) One may very well wonder, as mentioned earlier, as a soul approaches closer and closer to the inner, ultimately subjective realization of the Self, he will necessarily see exactly the same conceived-as-objective ‘structures’ on his inward ascent?
Story # 2
Another disciple of Sant Kirpal Singh, Richard Handel, wrote of a rare vision he had of saint Kabir:
“Shortly after Master Kirpal left his body, I had a vision in which a timeless, radiant being looked down on me from a unique staircase, a type I had never seen. I was overwhelmed with the impact of this vision—it was one of the most powerful experiences of my life. I was filled with so much bliss and intoxication looking into his eyes that, after a timeless time, I lost consciousness of anything but this unspeakable love. I thought this must be the new Master and his residence. Keep in mind that this was long before I met Master Darshan and before Kirpal Ashram had been purchased [prior to 1978].
A number of years later, I was staying in a room at Kirpal Ashram. Master Darshan said the octagonal building (which has since been replaced by the Master's residence) was now available and I should stay in a room there. I was about to climb the stairs to my new room when I looked up and then dropped by belongings in stunned amazement. This was the same staircase I'd seen in my vision years earlier!
During that stay, Master would say:" Any questions you have, Brother---you can ask me about anything. Any question?" I kept asking question after question. Then one day I described in great detail the experience I'd had and the description of that godly being. However, he didn't answer me and just kept silent. After a week or two went by, I brought the subject up once more. Looking quite pensive and serious, he said, “Brother ,that was Sant Kabir." - R.H.
Story # 3:
Another such account of after-death realms, in this case hell, or a hell, is found in this visionary account of Madame Hardevi, a close devotee of Sant Kirpal Singh:
“As she sat at the great Saint's feet (Baba Sawan Singh), Hardevi asked Him if it was possible to have a glimpse of hell. Sawan must have been somewhat surprised at this request, but He did not laugh. He told her that it was not a happy place and to remember that she was connected to the Positive Power and therefore could not go there. Hardevi's purposeful nature came to the fore and once again she pleaded for her desire. What was in Baba Sawan's mind is not known but He closed the interview saying, "We will see what can be done."
"Several days passed and Hardevi began to think that Sawan was not going to grant her wish; gradually she forgot about it. One day, however, she was sitting in meditation when she felt a strong pull within, almost as if someone had taken control of her, and she felt herself rising out of her body with considerable force. She then looked down and saw a huge hall with many people sitting in rows. Floating down toward them, she found herself standing near a man with a two-colored face, half yellow and half blue, sitting on a golden throne. He looked keenly at Hardevi and with his hand gestured that she should sit down. Hardevi turned to where he indicated and there was a chair which had not been there before. It was also gold and she sat down, gazing around with interest at the strange scene. If this is hell, she thought, then it is not such a bad place. As if he read her thoughts, the two-colored man said, 'I have been told to show you hell.' He called a man to the front and instructed him to guide her. The intrepid Hardevi rose and followed him."
"Her guide first showed her a place where countless souls, once human beings, were chained up. 'They await their punishment,' he told her. Then they came to pits of filth, emitting a malodorous stench of such a strength she could not have born but for her attention being captured by the pitiful, whimpering sounds arising out of the black holes."
"Hardevi's guide spoke again, 'This is one kind of punishment, do you want to see further examples of payments being extorted from the sinners?' She put her hands over her eyes and shook her head. The guide then took her to a courtyard square in shape but appearing to be almost limitless in size, stretching for miles in all four directions. As they moved on into the courtyard, Hardevi became aware that it was bounded by a perimeter of high walls. Approaching one of these walls, Hardevi saw that it was not just plain but sculptured into many different forms. Some were highly detailed and prominently carved - very lifelike to behold; others were indistinct and not very clearly discernible.
"The guide seemed to read her thoughts, for he said,'The forms you see that are clearly defined are of those souls who are nearing the end of their life-span on earth. Those that are not very clear are in the making, and as the soul continues to sin, the clearer the image becomes'...Hardevi was fascinated as she gazed at the images, one by one. But a spasm of terror shook her being when she found she was standing before a likeness of her own father! She turned to her guide, desperately seeking some reassuring explanation. 'But he is not dead,' she cried. 'None of them is,' replied the man; 'all are still in their earthly forms. These are places they are reserving for themselves as they go on with their sinful actions.'"
"Hardevi continued along the wall. There were other faces she knew; she even recognized the likeness of a dear friend, a lady doctor whom she had always regarded as a very nice person. As she sorrowfully pondered on this, the guide turned to her and said, 'We must now return, your allotted time for this visit is used up'...Once again she found herself beside the man with the blue and yellow face, whom she knew to be the Lord of Death. Rising from his throne, he bowed to her. She found herself floating away, away, and suddenly returning to her physical body."
"As she opened her eyes, the full meaning of what she had seen was present in crystal clarity. Hardevi lay down on the floor and wept helplessly, until Raja Ram found her, helped her up and took her into the comfort of their living room...She told him all about her experience in hell and begged him to take her to Baba Sawan at once. 'I must plead with Hazur to give my father initiation and save his soul,' she said. She was convinced that this was the only solution, for she knew that once a soul is accepted by the Positive Power, the Negative Power has no jurisdiction over that soul's fate…” (366)
This account is interesting for a couple of reasons. One, there have been countless examples of such visions and transports to hell realms in Buddhism - and, in the Christian tradition, hell, purgatory, and heaven - both from those living and those actually coming back from the dead, both with and without a saint's intercession. This one is unique in that Madame Hardevi reported seeing new residents of hell 'in the making', as it were, almost like duplicate bodies growing in pods in the movie The Invasion of the Body-Snatchers. But it is consistent with the metaphysical teaching that we construct our character and destiny by our actions during life.
Story #4
I have so far been unsuccessful in retrieving an account that was circulated of one Darshan Singh initiate who reported being carried deep within and transported in the company of his Master over a green valley he saw far below, at which point Darshan told him, "This is your true home - you can take it or leave it!" Aside from "you can take it or leave it" being an odd comment for a Master to make, what can this experience suggest to us regarding the nature of visions? A couple of things come to mind. One, Faqir Chand said the true Master’s form is higher up, but that in the first three planes our experience of the Master's form, as well as other visual phenomenon, is highly likely to be colored by our own psyche. Whether or not that is always true for the Master's Form (as some of the Masters have said that the astral form is "imperishable and eternal” - but how can that be?) it is certainly possible, as discussed in Part One in the sections on visions. It may also be likely that the "take it or leave it" comment was partly a product of the initiate's own mind. The love and numinosity in the experience, however, could be said to be an emanation from the person's Soul, whether directly or as mediated through the Master. This must be the most valuable take-away from such an experience, and is a lovely and blessed visitation of grace. The color green is especially intriguing, being a color often associated with heaven and heavenly things, as well as eternal youthfulness, which is a characteristic of the soul. In Islam, "Khidr", the legendary master of Moses, and who is said to show up here and there to the faithful, is known as “the green man" or "the verdant one.” Orthodox Fr. Seraphim Rose said that green was always associated with things of Paradise. In my reading I also found these passages in The Spiritual Canticle, by St. John of the Cross:
"O green meadow." This verse refers to her [the soul's] reflection on the heavens. She calls them a "green meadow" because the created things in them are as green growing plants that neither die nor fade with time, and in them, as in cool green meadows, the just find their recreation and delight...The Church likewise uses the word "green" to express heavenly things. In praying to God for the souls of the faithful departed, she says, speaking to them: Constitual dos Dominus inter amen virentia, which means: May God set you in delightful green places. And she says that this green meadow is also coated bright, with flowers. By these "flowers" she understands the angels and saintly souls that adorn and beautify that place like a costly enamel on a vase of fine gold." (367)
"How Green Was My Valley," a wonderful classic movie, and "He maketh me to lie down in green pastures... He restoreth my soul" (23rd Psalm) also come to mind. The beauty of such an event is undeniable. The Christian esotericist, Daskalos, spoke of the psycho-noetic plane (i.e., a mental plane), as a place where "things glow by their own inner light." But the True Home, Sach Khand? That has been described by Kirpal a follows: "It is all Light, scintillating Light...very strong. It cannot be compared with the astral or causal Lights. When you enter that place, it is just like fountains of Light gushing out, you see...You can give a poor expression of the astral and causal, to some extent, but the Beyond really cannot be understood - in this language." (368)
That said, there are these enigmatic words from Zen Master Dogen, "Unwise persons think that in the world of essence there should be no bloom of flowers." So, what do we know?
Anthony Damiani, student of Paul Brunton, and whose teachings are mentioned several times in this book, was a philosophic genius, and while universal in his scope of teaching, was more aligned with the intellectual or jnana approach. But in a gentle moment of deep feeling, in a discussion about death, he once said to us, “Don’t you think that God would give you the best thing?”
St. Paul reminds us:
“Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." (1 Corinthians 2.9)
In the Kingdom of Heaven, St. John tells us, there are many degrees of divine union, some lower and some higher, but all will be satisfied. And, if so, just as it is here might it not be so there, if God or the Master be in one's heart of hearts?
This following quote has nothing to do with visions, but seems worth including here:
“Never stay up on the barren heights of cleverness, but come down into the green valley of silliness.” - Ludwig Wittgenstein
Story #5
“During Sant Darshan Singh Ji’s last European tour, I received the most wonderful experience of my life due to his unlimited grace. I had the opportunity to be with the Master for a few days. As my hotel was opposite from the Master’s, less than a minute’s walk, I was able to see him several times a day. One morning at around 10:00 a.m., I went to his hotel room. When I arrived, Master was having breakfast with his wife, dear Mata Ji, and two other initiates were sitting with him at the table. As I started to leave, he called me back and invited me to join him. We enjoyed breakfast and conversation for about half an hour."
"When I returned to my room, I felt a powerful urge to meditate. As soon as I closed my eyes, Hazur Baba Sawan Singh Ji appeared before me and told me, “Today, I’m going to give you the key to a special treasure.” He mentioned the word, “prashana.” Prashana is an Urdu word meaning “treasure.” He said, “Go inside and enjoy.” Saying this, he handed me a key and asked me to open the door using that key. I opened the door and went in. While viewing everything, I discovered another door leading to other wonderfully beautiful rooms."
"As I was proceeding inside, I met Master Darshan, who began escorting me through all the various sights of this region. We were both traveling in our light bodies. As we ascended higher we stopped and I was attracted to an unusual region. I turned around and moved towards this semi-round galaxy. Master also joined me. I began circling around an indescribable galaxy. I asked the Master, “What is this? Can I go in?” Master told me, “This is Brahmand, and you do not need to go in at this moment. Let’s go farther.” I continued to follow Master."
"After meditating for about one hour, it occurred to me that I should attend the afternoon events with Sant Darshan Singh, and I returned to my ordinary state of awareness. I attended the sessions and then went out to eat. Upon returning to my hotel room, I rested briefly, and then again felt a powerful pull to meditate once more before evening satsang. As soon as I closed my eyes, I ascended, and my soul joined Master Darshan exactly at the same place where I had left him earlier. Again, we ascended together. Suddenly we were in the realm known as Limitless Truth. Due to previous visits in this region, I immediately recognized it. Master Darshan was showing me every aspect of this supernal region. I continued following him."
"At one place, I was gazing at something and I wanted to ask Master about it, but when I turned around to talk to him, to my surprise he was not there. He had suddenly disappeared. I waited awhile then looked for him here and there, but when I did not find him I moved farther along alone...At one point, I found a door leading to a hallway, so I moved in that direction. What I saw was beyond words. I cannot even begin to describe the divine atmosphere. Melodious sounds were continuously resounding, telling me the name of this region. As I floated around in my light body, I quickly entered a new region, by passing through a door that lead to another entrance. It was a heavenly atmosphere with an unusual thin transparent layer of white light covering the entire region. Again, I heard never-ending enrapturing music echoing the name of this region. It is not given to human expression to describe this region. I was completely inebriated with a divine intoxication yet I was entirely conscious of everything going on around me. I enjoyed the experience enormously. I continued floating in this region until I found an exit. I then entered another region of exquisite beauty."
"In this supernal region, everything was brilliant and perfect in every way. In one corner, a very strong but cool powerful divine light drew my attention. Hidden within the light was a divine Being pouring out crystalline fountains of light. I tried to focus my attention on his feet but could not withstand the intensity and brilliance of the light pouring out of this divine form. I made a great effort to adjust my vision so that I could move closer to perceive his face...After considerable effort, I looked up and saw a magnificent divine crown. In the middle of this crown was an enormous diamond radiating extraordinary divine light. After some time, I was able to acclimate my vision to this ineffable light. I wanted to see the face of this divine figure. When our eyes finally met, I was able to see the face - which was none other than that of beloved Master Darshan, appearing in the form of Truth Eternal, Sat Purush. I was exceedingly happy to see him again, and I told him, “So that’s why you suddenly disappeared, Master!” He smiled and said, “Okay, today let me show you my kingdom.”
"He only had to point a finger to show me how all aspects of this region were carried out under his divine command. In his Kingdom, there wasn't the faintest possibility of error or sin. Everything was in perfect harmony and under his perfect control. I was astonished to see all that. Then Master Darshan asked me, “Ask for a boon and it will be granted.” I said, “Master, you have given me everything and I wish for nothing more,” but Master insisted again: “Ask for a boon and it will be granted.”
I started thinking about what to ask. However, I could not imagine anything else that I needed. Then, I knew what I wanted. I told the Master, “If I could wish for anything, it is you, Master—be with me in this life. And if ever I am to be born again, promise me to be my Master again...Master replied, “So it will be done.” And that was the end of my experience. Gradually I returned to the world and to my normal state of consciousness. When I glanced down at my watch, it was time to go to satsang. Reflecting on the experience that he had granted me, I thanked the Master from the deepest core of my heart. I dressed and left my room to go to the satsang and be again be with the Master in his physical form.” (internet post)
Story #6
This story was presented in Part One without comments.
"At the time of Master's passing - the evening of the 21st of August - one initiate was sitting in meditation in Delhi. This initiate saw the Master's body in meditation lying down as though it were dead. And he said these powers began coming out of the Master, out the top of His head, and they were in the form of Light. One after the other came out, great powers, each one with different intensity, different luminosity, a different shade coming out of the Master. And he thought that these were the five elements that were leaving the Master's body. But he said that a hundred and twenty powers came out of the Master, and finally He withdrew completely from the body. And on the higher spiritual planes this disciple saw the Master walking towards a great congregation of Saints; and Swami Ji Maharaj, the fourth Master back, came forward to greet the Master and put His hand on His head and said, "What you have done, no one else has accomplished so far. So much work has been achieved through you." And Baba Sawan Singh came from above the Master, and this Great Light was shining out of Sawan Singh, from His feet, from His whole body, and streaming down on to His Beloved Son, Kirpal. Baba Jaimal Singh was there, Guru Nanak was there...all the Saints were there. They had come to greet the Master. Baba Sawan Singh came to Master and He went and touched Master's legs; He said, "You had pain here?" He touched His thighs: "You had pain here?” And He touched His chest and His back and His neck and head: "You had pain here? I gave you so much pain, but you bore it as a gift! You have freed multitudes of souls. So much grace of the Sat Purusha has been achieved through you, as was achieved through none other." And there was a great chorus of acclamation from all the Saints to the Master. And throughout it all Master's Face was very serene and very sober. And all mingled together their rays of Grace and Light in the Master. This was Master's triumphant Homegoing.”
This was an account of one devotee’s vision, which as a devotee of course I enjoyed reading very much. But for the sake of Truth certain points might be considered. What does a “power” look like? How did he know what he was seeing were powers exiting the Master’s body? It would be nice if someone like Darshan Singh was present to confirm to him that that was in fact what was happening. No doubt it was a wondrous experience, yet it must be remembered, once again, that visions always or almost always have a subjective component contributed by the recipient’s mind. Secondly, perhaps a side issue, while a sign of great accomplishment siddhis themselves (discussed in Part Four) must never be equated with sagehood, or even of a saint himself. I believe Master Kirpal Singh was very likely not only a SatGuru but also a sage, but the proof is not because of any godlike powers he had. And for this I refer to the following quote from Shri Atmananda:
“The sage, as he is, is never understood in the phenomenal level. There is an erroneous tendency, found in some yogis who have not reached the highest, to assess the greatness of a Sage only from the extraordinary powers exhibited by him at some time before his death. As a result of this vicious tendency, even Shri Sankara is misrepresented as having bodily ascended to Kailasa and attained sayujya [union] with Shiva. Any sage would protest against such an atrocious scandal. A Jnyanin is one who has transcended both the body and mind. His stand is not merely that he is not the body, but that he never was one, and that he is the absolute Truth itself. As such, it is nothing short of sacrilege to think that a real Sage would choose to demonstrate such physical wonders with a body which was never his and which has never even existed. Much less would he take refuge in Shiva, who was after all nothing but a concept. Such unbaked stories of mere fancy might tickle the ignorant mind. But the learned will only shun them. The bold assertions of Shri Shankara, Shri Vidyarana, Shri Ashtavakra and innumerable other Sages, in their higher works of experience, disprove all such statements.” (369)
The main point here is that miraculous things do at times happen in and through saints and sages, but are not in themselves, nor do they represent, their highest Truth. Nevertheless, something truly great and mysterious was no doubt manifested through this disciple’s vision. And what else might have been seen leaving the Master’s body? It was almost certainly not demons!
Additional comments on the nature of visions
The reader may query himself on what are to be made of these accounts, based on what was discussed in Part One on the nature of visions, and what was discussed earlier in this section on the nature of progress. He should note that these are personal visions, mediated through each individual’s soul and psyche, and as such not proof of the truth or universality of these experiences, although worth noting and considering, while also likely to be to a degree colored with the subconscious background, i.e., cultural limitations, metaphysical understanding, emotional expectations, desires, thoughts, beliefs, memories, and so on in any particular case. As Brunton wrote:
“A mystical interpretation may be shaped to fit almost any scriptural text. Twenty different interpretations may be shaped to fit one and the same text. For the same heightened imaginative faculty which operates during the dream state operates during certain mystical ones. That in the latter case it is conjoined with genuine revelatory insight does not alter the doubtful character of its own contribution…One and the same psychical experience can be interpreted to support ten different religious tenets.” (370)
"In discussing the nature of a revelation we need to remember that, however little or however much, it must be colored by the man's own past history, traditions, and surroundings, his present conceptions, beliefs, and imagination." (371)
"The student trained along philosophic lines approaches the interpretations of his inner experiences with restraint laid heavily upon his ego by the feeling of his own limitations, his own weaknesses If therefore he errs at all in such interpretations, it will be in the direction of an unflattering one. It is hard for a foreigner entering a strange country for the first time to get true and correct impressions of it. They will necessarily be surface ones and may therefore be misleading ones. In the same way, without this previous instruction and training, it is hard for a mystic to get true and correct reception of the revelatory experience. This is because his mind will unconsciously reflect its personal limitations into the reception, so that what he gets is not the experience itself, but the experience in conjunction with those limitations, and therefore under them. He does not get direct reception at all." (372')
In short, simultaneous with a vision is the mind's creative and imaginative interpretation of what's going on, and one has the problem disentangling what is authentic with what he himself puts into it. This is a separate issue from using simran to dispel or test any manifestations of a negative power.
That is likely one other reason for being discerning and reticent in sharing such stories where the primary filtering nature of individuals is emotion and not reason. They may increase or decrease ones faith as the case may be. The point is, having an experience is one thing, seeing it correctly and understanding it is another altogether. Bill Scotti was in India with Sant Darshan Singh when stories for the book of testimonials for Master Kirpal (Ocean of Grace Divine) were being sorted. Darshan asked Bill what he thought. When he remained silent, He said to him that most (two-thirds or more) were distorted and exaggerated and pointed out one that was true and accurate. Master Darshan called Bill a few days later and introduced him to a bent-over old man living in the Ashram, who was a perfect example of modesty and selflessness. Darshan said, "His story is truthful."
But on balance it is probably worth it to have the conversation about them.
Another way of looking at the issue of distortion by the psyche in most visions is given by St. John of the Cross. In essence it comes down to the vehicle not being pure. Speaking of the deep purgation that takes place in what he described as the dark night of the soul, composed of the night of the senses and the deeper night of the spirit, he writes:
"The stains of the old self still linger in the spirit, although they may not be apparent or perceptible. If these are not wiped away by the use of the soap and strong lye of this purgative night, the spirit will be unable to reach the purity of divine union...Not all these proficients fall into actual imperfections in the same way. Some encounter greater difficulties and dangers...for their experience of these goods in the senses is so exterior and easily come by. They receive an abundance of spiritual communications and apprehensions in the sensory parts of their souls [this includes not only the exterior senses, but the interior senses that are active in the lower planes] and frequently behold imaginative and spiritual visions. All of this as well as other delightful feelings are the lot of those who are in this state, and a soul is often tricked through them by its own phantasy as well as by the devil...This is the stage in which the devil introduces many into believing vain visions and prophecies. He strives to make them presume that God and the saints speak with them, and frequently they believe in their phantasy. [Of course simran or the repetition of holy names is supposed to be a guard against appearances attributed to the negative power, but one cannot help but feel this is not a black and white thing. That is to say, one's maturity will have a role to play here, too. For even the appearances of the positive power will later be interpreted by the psyche]. They become audacious with God and lose holy fear, which is the key to and guardian of all the virtue. Illusions and deceptions so multiply in some...that it is very doubtful whether they will return to the pure road of virtue and authentic spirituality. They fall into these miseries by being too secure in their surrender to these apprehensions and spiritual feelings, and do this just when they were beginning to make progress along the way." (373)
"Humility," said Kirpal Singh,"is an adornment of the saints." So there must be gratitude for such visitations, but also caution in investing them with more meaning than they deserve. The purest type of spiritual experience comes without fanfare and is experienced in deep peace.
One friend sympathetic to the 'not-telling' of inner experiences wrote:
"According to the Teachings...the only valid proof is personal (subjective) experiences, which hardly proves anything, because it is personal and not objective."
I wrote back that one could say that, but another way of looking at it is that visions - the so-called ‘personal subjective experiences’ - are themselves phenomena - inasmuch as they are actually “objective” to the seer - just like the sensible external world - while intuition and insight are of the seer and noumena or “subjective”. The latter therefore is the truly spiritual, with the other is psychic (even if of the higher psychic). Sri Atmananda said even formless nirvikalpa samadhi is a phenomenon (and not noumenonal as one might suspect), because it is limited to time, space, and causality: It is gone into and out of, and is therefore time-bound; it required a body to meditate with and so is therefore bound by space; and it is produced by meditation and is therefore bound by causality. Therefore he said it is not the truth, the noumenon.
The noumenon is the more truly subjective [while some have paradoxically described it as the truly objective in the sense of being the real, the truth] and is the same for one and all and proof of itself. This concept is an important one and is discussed further in Part Four.
I will only add two brief experiences that I had shortly after being initiated over fifty years ago to highlight a change in my own perspective. As recounted in the biography in Appendix One, both of these occurred during sleep. In one, I found myself awake inside and sensing as if I was going over a meadow filled with celestial bees. The feeling was warm and loving. A second was the opposite: I awoke inside and felt as if I was about to go down, wherever that was, filled with ghoulish groans and ball and chain sounds and so on. The feeling was dread and fear. Now, obviously the first one I wanted to repeat, the second to avoid. But what did they mean? For a vision fades and becomes a memory, while insight and understanding derived can become relatively lasting. As I see it now, many years later, both experiences were real enough, but the ‘one’ who felt as if ‘he’ was going anywhere was not. "Nobody is born or dies at any time; it is the mind that conceives its birth and death and its migration to other bodies and other worlds,” says the Yoga Vasishta. My interpretation of the experiences was flawed, and even the ability to rightly perceive them was limited, due to spiritual ignorance and immaturity. My experiences were small ones, but this problem can go all the way up the scale of inner experience. The point is, having an experience is one thing, seeing it correctly and understanding it is another altogether. This goes all the way from intermediate visions to transcendental realizations. PB writes:
"Seeing a man or object is one thing, recognizing him or it is another. The glimpse is the beginning, recognizing it for what it is, is a further and extended operation." (374)
By "glimpse" here he refers not to to a vision per se, but the direct intuition of the spaceless, timeless, soul. This could include a visit to Sach Khand that has not yet ripened into fullness. And further,
"Even though a glimpse has lengthened through time into permanence, it may not have lengthened through consciousness into completion." (375)
The only way to make this a reality is to bring this realization into ordinary moment to moment living.
"It is not only a question of how much of his mind does the experience illuminate, but also what other parts of his personality does it inspire." (376)
In other words, the realization must become an integral one of head, heart, and hand. Or the feelings, the thoughts, and the will purified, balanced and in alignment with the soul. Any deficiencies and lack of balance will necessitate Nature having one sooner or later retreat and bring up the laggards. A negative marking diary may address failures in morality, but what about insufficiencies in development and character, as well as uninspected mental assumptions and opinions? For example, is one meek and unassertive in a guise of spirituality or humility because of a fear of taking a bite out of life? That requires another discipline, and a process of living over time.This is obvious a lifetime's work, some say many lifetimes. But necessary if the light is to become a stable thing as well as understood and not only experienced in fitful flashes. One final thought from PB on the humility attendant on the real thing:
"The discovery of his true being is not outwardly dramatic, and for a long time no one may know of it, except him. The world may not honor him for it; he may die as obscure as he lived. But the purpose of his life has been fulfilled; and God's will has been done...He who has attained the consciousness of Overself puts in no claim to the attainment. He accepts it in so utterly and completely humble a manner that most people are deceived into regarding him as ordinary...That alone is attainment which is natural, spontaneous, unforced, unaware, and unadvertised, whether to the man himself or to others." (377)
CHAPTER TWENTY-SIX
RAIN - The spiritual value of tears; Ryokan and Father Maximos, two stories; Mysteries of tears; Tears and samadhi
”I was so anxious to meet God, I used to weep from morning til night. Even while working in my office, tears would involuntarily flow from my eyes and my office papers were spoiled by tears. I could not sleep at night. I would ask, “O God, what is happening?” At home, my family could not understand what was happening - I had recently been transferred from the place of my parents and everyone thought the tears were due to this. What can other people know of the condition of one’s heart? Once the enigma of the mystery of life enters the heart, a person knows no peace until it has been solved.” - Kirpal Singh (378)
“I will cry to Thee, and keep crying, till the milk of Thy kindness boils up.” - Rumi
“My child, wash Christ’s feet with your tears, and He will in turn wash away your sins.” - Athonite Father Tichon
“Ask for your share of the divine nectar and it shall not be withheld from you. Indeed, those who have turned from the peaceful hearth that is their due, to move through the gloomy houses of men to dispense it, have done so because of the dark flood of secret tears that break daily through the banks of human life.” - Brunton (379)
“A shadow cast by the light of oncoming Grace sometimes appears as a fit of weeping. Without outer cause, the tears stream without stop or else sadness wells up without mitigation…He may be one of the fortunate ones who can call down upon themselves the workings of Grace. When he feels the urge to weep for no apparent reason he should not resist, as it is a sign of the working of Grace upon him. The more he yields to this urge the more quickly he will progress.” (380)
“I have dropped in a heap on the earth, crying, in the hope that I will feel a touch of his hand. I have fallen like a fish into deep water in the hope that the Friend will catch me in his net...If only in the middle of the night in place of these flowing tears I had you in my embrace.” - Hafiz
“The child cries and [the mother] comes to give him something to eat and again goes away. Again he cries until nothing satisfies him but the mother taking him in her arms. When you want nothing else Other than Him, He comes. Just as mothers always have pity, grace for the child, so it is with Master's Love. With His little thought, you weep like anything. Do you follow?” (381)
“When by the flood of your tears the inner and outer have fused into one, you will find Her whom you sought with such anguish, nearer than the nearest, the very breath of life, the very core of every heart.” - Anandamayi Ma (382)
Sri Ramakrishna:
“Cry to the Lord with an intensely yearning heart and you will certainly see Him. People shed a whole jug of tears for wife and children. They swim in tears for money. But who weeps for God? Cry to Him with a real cry.”
‘Where does the strength of an aspirant lie? It is in his tears. As a mother gives her consent to fulfill the desire of her importunately weeping child, so God vouchsafes to His weeping son whatever he is crying for.”
“It is necessary to pray to Him with a longing heart. The kitten knows only how to call its mother, crying, "Mew, mew!" It remains satisfied wherever its mother puts it. And the mother cat puts the kitten sometimes in the kitchen, sometimes on the floor, and sometimes on the bed. When it suffers it cries only, "Mew, mew!" That's all it knows. But as soon as the mother hears this cry, wherever she may be, she comes to the kitten.” (383)
Kirpal also spoke to this latter point:
"If you wish to go on a pilgrimage to Mecca, it is best to go through the water and not the dry desert sands. The dry sand is the way of the intellect, while the water is the flow of your tears. That is the best way to meet Him. Through weeping and wailing in the love of God or of your Master, you will meet Him very fast. Without weeping and wailing, no one has met God. God Almighty is controlled by the true devotee." (384)
Swami Sivananda on Ramakrishna:
“When I first began to visit Sri Ramakrishna, I often felt like crying. One night at Dakshineswar, by the bank of the Ganges, I wept to my heart’s content. In the meantime the Master had been asking for me. When I returned to his room, he said: ‘You know, if you weep before the Lord, your tears wipe out the mind’s impurities of many births, and his grace immediately descends upon you. It is good to weep before the Lord.’” (385)
“St. Seraphim of Sarov is said to have sat on a rock and cried bitterly for three years over his sinful nature, imploring God for mercy. This is not just ignorant, self-pity, but true repentance of the broken heart.” - Padre Pio
“My anguish of soul continued unceasing, day and night. The torment swelled into the same uninterrupted prayer even in sleep or when other people were about, although then something kept me from giving any outward sign. But as soon as I was back in my room, almost before I could shut the door, the tears would overwhelm me. There were moments when the pain of being separated from God cast me to the floor, and in the silence of the night I would weep for hours over my dreadful loss. The whole of me - mind, heart, even my body - contracted into a single, tight knot. And when the weeping exceeded a certain limit, the earth - the whole visible world - disappeared from my consciousness and I was alone before God.” (386)
“Jesus wept.” - John 11:35
“There is a palace that opens only to tears.” - Zohar
“They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.” - Psalms 126:5
“There is nothing so whole as a broken heart." - Hebrew mystical saying
“Wouldst thou make obeisance to thy master, my heart? He is there at every step, on each side of thy path: the welcome offered thee is thy master, the agony inflicted on thee is thy master. Every wrench at thy heartstrings that maketh tears flow is thy master.” - Bengali verse
“O my friends, I wish that no one should be a victim of such a state of agony as is mine because of intense longing due to separation. If it were possible to take hold of this feeling of intense longing, I would have covered my Lord with it so that He should also know what intense longing is, and His eyes would also shed tears of blood and fire in the pangs of separation. But alas! this is not possible. I am full of pain and the feeling of intense longing is too much for me. Perhaps my mother gave birth to me so that I should suffer this intense longing. O my God, in my love for You, I am like a nightingale singing songs of lamentation, which bring tears of blood to my eyes.” - Hafiz (387)
A contemplation;
"So many tears you have shed in samsaras realms
When separated from your dearest friends,
The teardrops from your eyes
Would overflow the basins of the oceans." - Nagarjuna
“Which is greater, the tears that were shed from existence to existence while wandering this samsara, crying red and weeping from being joined with what is displeasing, being separated from what is pleasing, or the waters in the four great oceans?” The Buddha gave the answer that the tears shed were truly greater.”
“Long have you repeatedly experienced the death of a mother. The tears you have shed over the death of a mother while wandering this long, long samsara, crying and weeping from being joined with what is displeasing, being separated from what is pleasing, are greater than the waters in the four great oceans.”
“Long have you repeatedly experienced the death of a father...the death of a brother... the death of a sister...the death of a son...the death of a daughter... loss with regard to relatives... loss with regard to wealth...loss with regard to disease. The tears you have shed over loss with regard to disease while wandering this long, long time, crying and weeping from being joined with what is displeasing, being separated from what is pleasing, are greater than the waters in the four great oceans.”
“Why is that? From an inconceivable beginning comes birth. A beginning point is not evident, though beings hindered by ignorance and fettered by craving are being reborn repeatedly. Long have you thus experienced distress, experienced pain, experienced loss, swelling the cemeteries, enough to become disenchanted with all fabricated things, enough to become dispassionate, enough to be released.” - Buddha (388)
Suffer the little children….
“When the child refuses to be comforted by anything except the mother’s presence, she comes. If you want to know God, you must be like the.. baby who cries till the mother comes.”
"There will come a day when you will feel totally helpless, a mere pawn of destiny, and then you will begin to realize that God alone is your haven of security." (389)
"When one cries one's inside become cleansed, just as water cleans the outside. I said: "I am unable to do what you tell me to do. I simply do not know how. The only thing I can do is cry." She said: "By this all will be achieved." - a devotee of Anandamayee Ma (390)
St. John of the Cross describes God’s purification with the following metaphor:
"This purgative and loving knowledge or Divine light whereof we here speak acts upon the soul which it is purging and preparing for perfect union with it in the same way as fire acts upon a log of wood in order to transform it into itself; for maternal fire, acting upon wood, first of all begins to dry it, by driving out its moisture and causing it to shed the water which it contains within itself. Then it begins to make it black, dark and unsightly, and even to give forth a bad odor, and, as it dries it little by little, it brings out and drives away all the dark and unsightly accidents which are contrary to the nature of fire. And, finally, it begins to kindle it externally and give it heat, and at last transforms it into itself and makes it as beautiful as fire....It drives out its unsightliness, and makes itself black and dark, so that it seems worse than before and more unsightly and abominable than it was wont to be. For this Divine purgation is removing all the evil and vicious humours which the soul has never perceived because they have been so deeply rooted and grounded in it; it has never realized, in fact, that it has had so much evil within itself...This enkindling of love, however, is not always felt by the soul, but only at times when contemplation assails it less vehemently, for then it has occasion to see, and even to enjoy, the work which is being wrought in it, and which is then revealed to it. For it seems that the worker takes his hand from the work, and draws the iron out of the furnace, in order that something of the work which is being done may be seen; and then there is occasion for the soul to observe in itself the good which it saw not while the work was going on. In the same way, when the flame ceases to attack the wood, it is possible to see how much of it has been enkindled." (391)
The metaphor of burning wood, driving out impurities, is found not only in the Christian tradition, such as in previous passage of St. John of the Cross, often copied by Fenelon, Madam Guyon, and others. In the book Tales of the Mystic East one finds the following story:
"Sheik Shibli, accompanied by some of his disciples, was one day idly watching a piece of wood that was burning slowly on the top of a cooking fire. As the log was wet, the heat was driving drops of liquid from it at one end. After a moment or two of reflection, Shibli said to his disciples:
“How can you who profess to have deep love and devotion for the Lord, truly say that you are burning in the pangs of separation from Him? I see no tears of sadness or longing in your eyes. To all of you I say, that you should take a lesson from this dumb and humble piece of wood. See how it burns and how it weeps.”
Fenelon succinctly states, "One does not begin to know and to feel one’s spiritual miseries until they begin to be cured” - meaning that the disturbing and painful states that arise or are illumined as the spirit makes its way through the knot of self or egoic conditioning, are in fact signs of cure and not the opposite. Tears inevitably follow.
“Tears of soft divine emotion are the panacea for all yogic ills.” - Shri Atmananda (392)
Brunton writes:
“It is better for his real progress that his eyes should fill with tears of repentance than with the tears of ecstasy.”
“There is no entry here for the proud, the conceited, the self-pedestalled. They must first be humbled, shorn, and shamed. They must drop to the ground on their knees, must become weeping beggars and wounded mendicants.”
“They believe it is possible to attain truth without tears, without discipline, and without training.”
“Since the very “I” which seeks the truth and practiced the meditation is itself so illusory, it cannot attain what it seeks or even practiced with success, unless it also receives help from a bigger source. Only two such sources are possible. The first and best is the Overself’s direct grace. This must be asked for, begged for, and wept for. The next best is the grace of a master who has himself entered into truth-consciousness.”
“When a spiritual teacher is asked to accept a student, he tries to discourage the seeker, because he knows by personal experience what a long and painful road it is…The essence of this path is the giving up of the “I,” the ego, which means that in a crisis the heart must weep tears of blood. Deep wounds are made, which only time can heal. They will be healed someday and when the storm of hurt feelings goes completely, a great peace arises.”
“A shadow cast by the light of oncoming Grace sometimes appears as a fit of weeping. Without outer cause, the tears stream without stop or else sadness wells up without mitigation.”
“He may have to weep for a mere glimpse of the soul. But this got, he will certainly weep again for its return. For he knows now by unshakeable conviction and by this vivid demonstration that the durable realization of the Soul is what he is here on earth for.”
“He should become as a child at the feet of his divine Soul, humbly begging for its grace, guidance, and enlightenment. If his ego is strong, prayer will weaken it. Let him do this every day, not mechanically but sincerely and feelingly until the tears come to his eyes. The quest is an integral one and includes prayer alongside of all the other elements.”
“Veneration is even more essential to the aspirant than erudition. Nobody need be ashamed to weep, for example, even despite his metaphysical training if he weeps for exalted things or in compassion for others or for the sacred presence. So long as he has not reached the last goal so long is he an aspirant. And so long as he is an aspirant he must be ready to weep for God, to yearn for divinity and to shed tears over its absence from his consciousness; in short, to feel. Indeed the acutest intensest feelings must be possessed and not killed off. Without them a man will never realize the goal. For God is to be felt in the profoundest possible manner, not as a cold intellectual concept.” (393)
"To meet your creator you have to cry. The tears in your heart will wash your heart, so it becomes innocent, as it always has been. As you have to wake up to the state of presence and to being, so you have to wake up to your soul, which is in the heart. You are a soul - this is your true image, the divine spark from the eternal fire, which journeys in the dimension of time towards the timeless...You are moved; you are touched by the Beloved; you are seen by the Friend...and you are blessed." - Aadi (394)
“When I was very young I went to the town where Siva first appeared to Manikovachagar. When I sat in the temple tears flowed down my face. Tears like this are often a sign of grace. When your tears are for God rather than for worldly things, the mind and the heart are purified. If you want God so much that you cry when you call on Him, He will surely come to you. When a baby cries, its mother comes to feed it. When a devotee cries because he is hungry for grace, God sends the grace to nourish him.” - Lakshmana Swami (395)
“It is noteworthy that God is very ready to comfort and satisfy the soul in her needs and afflictions when she neither has nor desires consolation and satisfaction outside of him. The soul possessing nothing that might withhold her from God cannot remain long without a visit from her Beloved.” - St. John of the Cross (396)
“The saints have said that this is not a path of dryness. We have only to think of our Beloved, and tears of longing start to flow from our eyes. The mystics have described this as one of the signs of a true lover of God. When we are fortunate enough to meet the Master, to taste a little of his divine love, to become saturated with that love, then tears of love, repentance, and confession begin to flow, we become aware of how we have wasted our lives. Rabi’a Basra, the great eighth century mystic, was once asked if God came to her first and then she started her prayers, or if she started her prayers and then God came to her. She replied, “I can only say this: when tears start rolling down from my eyes in sweet remembrance of the Lord, then the clouds have come and the rain will follow.” Our tears pave the way for our ultimate communion with the Lord, and we can never be satisfied until we are fully drenched in His love.”
"Remember He has taken a vow never to leave or forsake us until he takes us to our eternal Home. But we should also realize that we must go through the stage when we feel abandoned, when we must feel that the Master has deserted us. This is one of the features of the path of mystic love. [Similarly Brunton writes: ”It is not only by the experience of feeling at times the presence of God that an aspirant may develop inwardly: it may also happen by the equivalent non-experience, by feeling quite deserted by God, quite left alone! This - the “dark night of the soul” - is just as essential.” (397)] We must go through this stage without a grumble on our lips, for this stage is in reality a gift from the Master himself to help us grow. Ultimately, it is for our benefit, for our own salvation. There is a divine purpose behind everything the Master does. We may have to spend a lifetime of tears to get his love. We cannot demand the gift supreme from our Beloved. The gift descends at the appointed hour." - Darshan Singh (398)
“When rain comes the clouds precede. If there are no clouds, there is no rain. If a fruit-bearing tree has blossoms, there is hope for fruit. If there are no blossoms, then there is no hope for fruit. The blossoms and the rain clouds are the foreshadow of the fruits and the rain. Similarly, in feeling separation, crying for God, your heart becomes full. Tears rain down like anything. This is a foreshadow to show that you are nearing God. God is coming to you.”
“A symbol that in your love you are drawing closer to Him, is that you will feel separation. You will hanker to see Him. Your heart will become full and tears will roll down your cheeks. These are the symptoms to show that the fruit is ripening. These things are the blossoms. Ultimately when the fruit comes, you are for the Master and the Master is for you...The time will come when you will say, “who is living in this body? Am I?” You will see the Master in there. When you fold your hands, they will be the Master’s hands, not yours. That is the ultimate fruit of the goal.” - Kirpal Singh
[Similarly to this quote of Kirpal, “the time will come when you will say, “who is living in this body? Am I?” You will see the Master in there. When you fold your hands, they will be the Master’s hands, not yours,” in more philosophical language Brunton wrote, "The ego to which he is so attached turns out on enquiry to be none other than than the presence of World-Mind [i.e., God] within his own heart. If identification is then shifted by constant practice from one to the other, he has achieved the purpose of life.” (399)]
Kirpal continues:
“A Mohammedan Saint was asked whether he first saw God and then said his prayers, or whether God came after his prayers. He said, “God comes first, then I pray.” He was asked how he knew that God had come. He said, “When my heart becomes full, my eyes begin to shed tears, I then think that He has come, that He is dragging me from within, then I pray.”
“Just as a man has been stabbed and feels pain, so should you feel pain for God. If that is not developed, we are nowhere. We are wasting our human lives.” (400)
“Hafiz, perhaps in pursuit of the pearl of union, you would form an ocean from your tears and drown in it.> (401)
“I wish that I had wept so much in my longing to meet the Lord that the tears from my eyes had swelled into a river, and every tear drop had turned into a spiritual pearl. Then I would have placed all those pearls before the altar of my Beloved.”
“Look at the nurses who feed babies with their milk. They give the infant scarcely any milk unless it cries for it, because the milk in the breast of the nurses does not flow out unless the child attracts it by its cries. In the same manner so long as a devotee does not cry while praying to Him, the ocean of the Lord’s grace does not surge out.”
“Man’s work in this world is nothing but to cry in intense longing due to separation from the Lord. Look at the infant. It cries as soon as it is born. It comes into the world crying. Therefore, just as a light burns throughout the night, in the same manner you should shed tears after midnight in longing for the Lord, and continue weeping and asking for His Light. Just as the wick of a lamp is trimmed, similarly you should trim the wick of your head (ego) so that the light in you increases. In other words, as soon as you learn to sigh while weeping, there will be a flood of light inside. God values the tears of His lovers as He does the blood of His martyrs...Tears in the eyes and pain in the heart are the two pillars between which we pass to go within.” - Rumi (402)
“He who spends not the midnight hours, weeping and waiting for the morrow, he knows ye not, ye heavenly powers.” - Goethe
“One thought of faith is the basis
which leads one to the way through many a rebirth.
Pitiful indeed am I who know nothing of the Enlightenment
piling up one heap of dust over another wherever I go.
Wild grasses grow green when the season comes,
the flowers bloom in mad profusion day after day.
Longing for the Home and yet not knowing how,
the tears flow and the kerchief is wet.”
- The first of the ‘Oxherding Pictures’ in Zen, the “Awakening of Faith”)
“I reached forty, the age when one is not supposed to be bothered any longer by doubts. One night, I decided to take another look at The Lotus Sutra. I got out my only lamp, turned up the wick, and began to read it once again. I read as far as the third chapter, the one on parables. Then, just like that, all the lingering doubts and uncertainties vanished from my mind. They suddenly ceased to exist. The reason for the Lotus’s reputation as the “king of sutras” was now revealed to me with blinding clarity. Teardrops began cascading down my face like two strings of beads - they came like beans pouring from a ruptured sack. A loud involuntary cry burst from the depths of my being and I began sobbing uncontrollably. And as I did, I knew without any doubt that what I had realized in all those satoris I had experienced, what I had grasped in my understanding of those koans I had passed - had all been totally mistaken. I was finally able to penetrate the source of the free, enlightened activity that permeated Shoju’s daily life.” - Hakuin (403)
“The master, frustrated in his attempts to resolve the feeling of doubt which weighed so heavily on his mind, became deeply disheartened. Signs of serious illness appeared. He began to cough up bloody bits of sputem. He grew steadily worse, until death seemed imminent. He said to himself, “Everyone has to die. I’m not concerned about that. My regret is dying with the great matter I’ve been struggling with all these years, since I was a small boy, still unresolved.” His eyes flushed with hot tears. His breast heaved violently. It seemed his ribs would burst. Then, just at that moment, enlightenment came to him - like a bottom falling out of a bucket. Immediately, his health began to return, but still he was unable to express what he had realized. Then, one day, in the early hours of the morning, the scent of plum blossoms carried to him in the morning air reached his nostrils. At that instant, all attachments and obstacles were swept from his mind once and for all. The doubts that had been plaguing him ceased to exist.” (404)
“A devotee achieves communion with God by floating through the flood of his own tears...That eye is very fortunate through which pearls of tears are shed in remembrance and of the Beloved. That heart is blessed which is being burned in the fire of separation from the Beloved, because the tear-drops from the eyes, falling on the ground of the heart, are responsible for bringing forth the blossoms of the mysteries of God. Just as the merciful rain produces multi-colored flowers on the earth, similarly, the eyes that are drenched with tears of remembrance of the Lord bring forth flowers of spirituality. Hence, the status of love is very high.” - Sawan Singh (405)
“No one has been united to his Beloved through mirth. Whoever has attained communion with Him has done so after shedding many tears. If it were possible to meet the Beloved while laughing and in a state of comfort, why should one suffer the anguish of separation? The people of the world are happy, they eat and sleep. Kabir alone is unhappy, he is awake and crying.” - Kabir (406)
RAIN: In Tamil literature a rain cloud is a well-known example or metaphor that symbolizes the capacity of God or the Guru to bestow grace. How to receive that grace?
Swami Shantatmananda offers one suggestion:
“Devotees would often come to Sri Ramakrishna to seek spiritual advice. They would often lament that they don’t feel a deep love for God. All their spiritual practices appear superfluous and quite often they experience dryness of heart. Sri Ramakrishna would console them and advise them that one of the most potent ways of advancing in spiritual life is to practice the discipline of prayer...Sri Ramakrishna would say that to weep for God or to intensely feel separation from Him, one should establish first a loving relationship with Him. This is possible through prayer because in prayer a devotee tries to converse with God. He tries to express all his feelings and by constantly practicing this discipline, it is possible to slowly form a definite relationship with God. When this matures, it will manifest more and more as Vyakulata or longing or a deep desire to realize Him. In fact, this will ripen to such an extent that one would shed tears during prayers.” (407)
This article has explored both a stage and an integral part of the path of bhakti, or loving devotion, but is not exclusive to that path alone. From Talks with Ramana Maharshi:
"D. Hair standing on end, sobbing voice, joyful tears, etc., are mentioned in Atma Vidya Vilasa and other works. Are these found in samadhi, or before, or after?
M. All these are the symptoms of exceedingly subtle modes of mind (vrittis). Without duality they cannot remain. Samadhi is Perfect Peace where these cannot find a place. After emerging from samadhi the remembrance of the state gives rise to these symptoms. In Bhakti Marga (the path of devotion), these are the precursors to samadhi.
D. Are they not so in the path of jnana?
M. Maybe. There is no definiteness about it. It depends on the nature of the individual. Individuality entirely lost, these cannot find a place. But even the slightest trace of it being present, these symptoms become manifest. Manikavachakar and other saints have spoken of these symptoms. They say tears rush forth involuntarily and irrepressibly. I had the same experience when staying in Virupaksha cave." (408)
As the sage Atmananda Krishnamenon has said, “The head and the heart are not watertight compartments.”
“When you reach the Ultimate by following the path of pure jnana, you experience deep Peace and Happiness expressing itself sometimes in the form of gushing tears and choking voice. This is not an experience of the head, but of the heart in you. On the other hand, there are many instances of Sages like Padmapada and Vatishvarattamma who have reached the Ultimate through the heart, and heart alone, directed to their Guru - the Absolute - with deep devotion. They have subsequently guided aspirants to the Truth, even on the Jnyana path, most successfully. Thus it is clear that what one experiences through either path is the same Reality, the one through the head and the other through the heart.”
“The disciple who takes the Guru to be the formless Ultimate, is taken to the right Absolute. However, the disciple whose sense of discrimination is less developed, but who has a deep devotion to the person of the Guru, may well take the Guru to be the form. His love and devotion compensate abundantly for the lack of discrimination, and he is easily taken through the form to the formless, and thence to the Absolute even without knowing it. Revered Vativishvarattamma - an illiterate woman devotee near Cape Commorin, who became a reknowned sage by her sincere and earnest devotion to her Guru (Amma-svami, who was a great yogin Sage) - is a standing testimony to this class of Sages. Though the disciple directs his love to the person of Guru, the reciprocation comes from the impersonal which is the abode of love. When your limited love is directed to the Guru, who is love unlimited, the limitation of your love vanishes immediately.”
“Love is the expression of the Self through the heart, and the heart is always wet. It takes you straight to the Self or Atma and drowns you in it. Language is dry and is the expression of the Self through the head or reason. It takes you only to the brink of Atma, and leaves you there, till the heart rises up to wet reason and ultimately to drown you in love. So when you begin to discuss love, it is impossible to proceed with the discussion when the heart wells up.” (409)
Sant Darshan Singh, when asked about the copious tears shed by Sant Kirpal Singh, replied, “Yes, but at what stage?!” Yet Kirpal, late in life said, “Even now, when I remember my Master (i.e., Sawan, which means rain), I shed tears.” Thus ‘rain’ is both a stage and inherent part of the path:
“The first tears of repentance are tiresome. The second ones are those of theoria (i.e., contemplation). The tears of divine love are not at all tiresome, but fill one’s heart with joy.” - a holy elder (410)
Rain may fall on anyone, anywhere, at any time. It is not meant as a technique an ego can use, but a natural response to inner ice melting through the fire of divine grace, invoked by the yearning and prayers and struggles of the earnest devotee. This loving grace may fall “as the gentle rain from Heaven,” or express itself in a torrent, either way causing a response to emerge from the eyes and heart of its recipient. For most of us, it is life-giving, as necessary for our growth as food and water. May you be so blessed.
“One time we were sitting with the Beloved Master [Kirpal Singh]. He looked at us and said, “You know, you people don’t know how lucky you are to have a real Master, a true Master, a perfect Master - one who will never leave you or forsake you till the end of the world.” He told us, “Rest assured, I will take you back Home. Don’t you have any doubt in my words.” Often times Master would be shedding tears of love. “These are the tears of love for you all,” He would say.” (411)
Two Stories
“Ryokan [a Zen monk who called himself “Ryokan, the Great Fool”] was one day invited home by his brother. The brother and his wife wanted Ryokan to reprimand their delinquent son. Thus after a long while Ryokan came to see his brother, and stayed there overnight. He, however, did not say a word to reprimand his young nephew, and was about to leave for his mountain the next morning. The nephew was lacing old Ryokan’s straw sandal when he felt a warm wet drop fall on his hand. He looked up in spite of himself, and saw his old uncle Ryokan looking down at hm with tears in his eyes. Ryokan, without uttering a word to his nephew, returned home to his mountain. From that day, however, his nephew changed to being good.” (412)
For over a thousand years the Holy Mountain, as Mt. Athos is known, has been an island center of prayer and meditation for a serious couple of thousand monks living in isolated monasteries and primitive retreats. Rough roads, no cars or phones ensure isolation.
“Father Maximos told us another story in his usual casual manner:
“During the first year I was a monk on Mount Athos, there was some kind of a misunderstanding between a young hieromonk and his elder. The young hieromonk was very upset because he heard a rumor that his elder was planning to change his work schedule. Being young and inexperienced he started bad-mouthing his elder. The rest of us, naive and younger than he was, would not waste a moment. We went straight to the elder and reported him. The elder’s reaction was ‘I’ll take care of him during vespers. I will make him feel so much shame he won’t know where to go and hide his face from the rest of us.’ We thought he was really going to reprimand him.”
“I remember it was Saturday before vespers. The elder walked down the steps from his cell, which was on the second floor, and called for this hieromonk. ‘Come to the sanctuary. I want to talk to you,’ he said to him somberly. ‘Holy Mother of God, the rest of us murmured among ourselves. ‘Alas to him.’ The elder was going to take care of him right inside of the sanctuary. All of us were tense, waiting for the developments. We expected to hear raised voices and reprimands as the elder scolded him. I happened to be inside the sanctuary helping with the service as I had just been made a deacon. And what do you think I witnessed? As they entered the sanctuary, the sixty-five-year-old elder fell on his knees in front of the twenty-five-year-old monk, kissed his feet, and asked for forgiveness. ‘I am sorry, my brother,’ he said to the young monk, ‘I must have done something to cause you grief. Please forgive me.’ The other of course was shattered and began sobbing while asking forgiveness from the elder. By the grace of God, tranquility was restored in the monastery and a valuable lesson was offered to all of us.”
“Father Maximos paused in reminiscence. “You know there was more to this story. On Monday I visited Elder Ephraim [another charismatic elder and spiritual guide to Father Maximos] at Latounakia. His hermitage was hours away from our monastery. The moment he saw me he became inquisitive. ‘What happened on Saturday night at the monastery?’ he asked me. ‘What do you mean?’ I replied, pretending I had no idea. ‘During my prayers,’ he explained, ‘I saw an angel putting a golden wreath over the head of your elder. Something must have happened.’” (413)
Mysteries of Tears
“There are great secrets and mysteries behind tears which the physiologists cannot explain still. In ordinary cases tears are considered as the sole property of children. Tears come at times of happiness, gratitude, etc. which fall under the category of noble emotions as far as the human values are concerned. But from the religious point of view tears are more the property of the devotees, of course depending on the sincerity of their quest for the Lord. In spiritual life repentance and the devotion to God, especially that noblest type of devotion of the gopikas which made them reach right up to the portals of death due to separation from the Lord, are the causes of tears."
"The tears of pure devotion come from the outer corners of the eyes and have no saltish taste. But tears of mere human emotions are saltish in taste and come from the other parts of the eyes. [Note: Ramana Maharshi also said this: “Tears flow from the outer canthus of the eye of a man when he is very happy and from the inner canthus when he is sad.” (414)]. Kirtans are the best means for the production of devotional tears. Sri Ramakrishna used to remark on the scarcity of even one drop of tear for God while gallons of tears are shed for worldly material wants. It is a most blessed experience to weep for the sake of God. Anandamayi Ma used to shed tears out of devotion during bhajans. It is believed that whenever and wherever the chantings and kirtans of Sri Rama are going on upon the earth, Hanuman, the humblest devotee of Him, used to be present with tears of devotion then and there...Tears of repentance due to intense devotion to the Lord are the greatest purifiers of the heart and the most expedient means for installing the Lord therein. Through tears of pure devotion to the Lord one can even attain the state of jivanmukta.” - V.P. Rajiv (415)
Tears and Samadhi
“A great man has said that a devotee goes into samadhi with tears in his eyes and that a jnyanin comes out of samadhi with tears in his eyes. But I say that this is not yet the whole truth. One can very well both go into and come out of samadhi with tears in his eyes. This is definitely higher than the former experiences. The experience of the devotee was the result of contemplation (bhavam) of his ishta-deva. The second was the result of a short contact with the ultimate Truth. The third is the characteristic of the sahaja state of the established Jnyanin.” - Shri Atmananda (416)
from An Athonite Gerontikon
“It was midday. Outside of the chapel of St. Ephraim, I felt for the first time a special kind of tears and asked myself: ‘what are these tears?’ My soul felt full of divine love and in answer to my question I heard a voice both within me and without: ‘Kneel. "As the bridegroom rejoices upon seeing the bride so has the Lord rejoiced with you." - Father Ephraim of Katounakia (417)
Sri Ramana Maharshi:
“On scrutiny, supreme devotion and jnana are in nature one and the same. To say that one of these two is a means to the other is due to not knowing the nature of either of them. Know that the path of jnana and the path of devotion are interrelated. Follow these inseparable two paths without dividing one from the other.”
“Only if one knows the truth of Love, which is the real nature of Self, will the strong entangled [ego] knot of life be untied. Only if one attains the height of Love will liberation be attained. Such is the heart of all religions. The experience of Self is only Love, which is seeing only Love, hearing only Love, feeling only Love, tasting only Love and smelling only Love, which is bliss.”
“The end of all wisdom is love, love, love.” “Love is verily the heart of all religions.” (418)
Ramakrishna Paramahansa:
“Pure knowledge and pure love are one and the same thing. Both lead the aspirants to the same goal. The path of love is much easier.” (419)
Just so, all tears are good. If a basic sincerity is there, moreover, an artificial division of “worldly” and “spiritual” tears may in the end be unjustified. The quality may change as a person matures, but as they all bring one closer to the fount of one’s heart, and dissolve the encrustations of ego, all are welcomed in love. As Charles Dickens wrote, in Great Expectations:
“We need never be ashamed of our tears.”
This line comes as Pip is finally leaving London with the hope of becoming a proper gentleman. When he sees his friends Joe and Biddy and is overcome with nostalgia, he begins to weep. He goes on to say: “I was better after I had cried, than before - more sorry, more aware of my own ingratitude, more gentle.” It’s a sentiment that rings true even after 160 years.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Moving towards an emergent global spirituality
One thing is certain: Masters - and students - can no longer be bound by creeds, dogma, and solidified interpretations of scriptures. Those days are receding fast. The tendency to take ancient books as immutable, eternal law for areas of the human heart that we haven't yet fully understood, and where we need an honest guide, does not meet the needs of modern man. To hold to the words of any man, no matter how holy, as eternally sacrosanct is to limit God's ever-fresh guidance of humanity. And it is often to return ourselves to an ignorance that those words have already delivered us from. They were worthy in their time, and served their purpose. They may still be of value, but the extent value needs to come under scrutiny and not be merely believed. And it is obvious by and large that the gurus have been changing and adapting their advice as the confrontation of East and West follows its natural course. This is but inevitable, for the karmas of westerners have been to some extent quite different than those of easterners. In the West we have signed on for incarnation and self-actualization, while in the East the disposition has been to dismiss or sublimate the self into a greater whole or higher reality. These differences have been significant. Due to globalism in some areas this is changing, and therefore the teachings themselves will not and can not remain exactly the same. The old ways, as is, are thus increasingly not suitable for the mind and psyche of modern man. The 'horizontal' dimensions of soul-growth are also being recognized as legitimate in their own right alongside the 'vertical'. Spirit and Matter (the 'flesh') are seen as not so opposed anymore. Kirpal used to repeat a favorite slogan of his (with a chuckle more often than not), "chastity is live and sexuality is death". My young friends and I believed this when first stepping foot on the path - as far as the pursuit of internal yoga was concerned - but privately joked among ourselves, "sexuality is life and chastity is death!", thus in my opinion not so much flaunting ancient wisdom, but intuitively sensing even back then for the need of a more integrated, less obsessive and more whole-bodily loving angle of vision.
This was actually the more ancient Vedic view, before religion and yoga divided life into a battleground for the spiritual warrior. Interestingly, one can follow the progression of perspectives on sex and relationships among succeeding gurus. Whereas two Masters back, we heard, "I don't like divorce," "I had my own room you see" (with laughter), "have one or two children and then live as brother and sister," while one Master back the advise was, "try to work it out as best you can," "don't sleep with her before marriage" (!), "have sex once or twice a month," but also finally, "I am old-fashioned." And currently, a Master who has lived most of his adult life in the West, has argued with some awkwardness, in reply to opinions about love-making, "well, these are ancient teachings," but also, "if the relationship is unworkable it is better to separate." Some may see in these statements only a sign of the moral degeneration of the age. More and more, however, we see that people are being left to themselves to come to sane terms and self-understanding in these areas. A rejection of a certain moral rigidness and a recognition of the difficult and creative ordeal that an integral spirituality that values incarnation is seems to have filtered down to Sant Mat at the top levels. And this necessary relativity must be reflected in the self-introspection of the devotees. For instance, I have met many initiates whom I had not seen for twenty, thirty, or even forty years. Among these are some who were the most devoted then, and still are. One even had asked the Master for "love and devotion" - in that most important moment when they were asked by Him what it was that they wanted. Yet they now tell me they have been married three or four times, have five or six kids with different wives, and so on. So, besides being relieved at my own tendency towards 'mea culpa, mea culpa' (!), this tells us not so much that sin has increased, but that the body-mind and personal shadow side has asked for its due respect, and the attempt or disposition to merely fly out of it into the light has invoked its opposite response, calling for real transformation and transmutation. This is another huge topic.
On the other hand, there was a dear soul who I met several years back, last seen forty years ago. He was a bit rigid then, and now, at eighty-five, the first thing he said to me was, "do you keep a diary? You know, St. Francis of Assisi said everyone must keep diary." - A diary?! What did he know of my struggles, and how could that information be of any use to him? Hearing that made my heart bleed for him, to see one so stuck, after decades concerned with purity and correct behavior, and worried about 'getting there', while missing out on the always available grace that is freely given, the awareness that sets us free. Wake up, my friend, accept you are loved and the One who loves you.
There may be said to be two basic attitudes towards right conduct, with the first divided into three grades. In the first category, one first may be considered a 'slave of God' where he supplicates and obeys the rules and commandments of a Deity or deity-figure out of fear of punishment or damnation; this generally applies to 'scare tactics' traditionally used by religions for the sake of the common people to lead them away from sin; at a higher stage, but still childish, one is an 'employee of God', and obeys in hope or a heavenly reward; finally, the third and higher grade is that of the 'lover of God', who lives the commandments not out of fear or hope of reward, but out of pure reverence and love. The second type of attitude, which could be said to have been introduced and articulated as such by the Buddha - although that also spawned a host of rules and regulations - is to learn and apply in ones own experience that which leads towards freedom from suffering. How, on this more bhakti oriented path, can one love a Master if one is not free to experience in his own body-mind what works and what doesn't work, and, importantly, to find out that one is loved no matter the path one's learning process may take? How can one, furthermore, ever be truly 'self' realized if he is not free enough to test/express his own judgement, understanding, and also creativity? For will real freedom ever happen otherwise? This is a dangerous thought, perhaps, but what if this freedom called one at some point or other to break any or all taboos he has maintained religiously for so long, in order to get back to the innocent love he knew as a child? For without that all is futile. Having learned the rules well, will he know when it may be proper to break them?
What can a Master do? Many things. He can give an initiatory boost to the disciple. He can send his own life-impulses to him from time to time. He can also be an unerring guide and agency of grace for the soul on the inner planes as it moves towards its source. He may also, as Swami Rama would say, 'place a comma in your karmas', i.e., in his mercy altering certain life events in one's favor, taking the results on his own body, and, in this path, the promise is that the entire sanchit reserve karmic account is 'handed over' from Dharam Raj, or the 'Lord of Death' (or Karma) to the Master-Power, for distribution and custody, here and hereafter until one is liberated. A tall order and a great boon - and in dark moments when this very karma is in the process of being compressed and liquidated, often unappreciated, forgotten, or disbelieved. A Master may also be the agent to give liberation to ripe souls.
What, however, can a Master not do? To a true devotee, perhaps nothing. And I, for one, would not be too quick to place any limits on a saint or sage. But perhaps more realistically, this has a direct bearing on one's attitudes and preconceptions about the path and how it works. A true devotee will see nothing that his Master cannot do, being the Lord of the Universe for him, omnipotent, omniscient, and omnipresent, but we may safely say that a Master generally can not instantly make or teach one to become intelligent - although that I have temporarily seen happen, in the case of a retarded boy in Kirpal's company, and there are also historical examples of such instant transformations, such as Russian mystic Theophane the Recluse, who as a child was so dense he could not understand anything, and he prayed to God so as not to disappointment his parents, and in an instant was granted reasoning and discriminatory powers beyond his years and development. A similar thing happened to St. Catherine of Siena. But in most cases this does not happen. The Master does not grant us immediate evolution. He can not instantly integrate the disciple's physical consciousness with that of all of the higher planes, or vice versa, the fruit of a process of relative wisdom that even many Masters have not fully achieved. He can help the disciple in this, but not so much by words, unless the entire teaching is modified to reflect a mature bias away from exclusive 'ascent' to that of a more tantric and non-dual transformation, in keeping with the times. Yet few among the multitudes of initiates have signed onto or want this, so any Master is restricted in modifying the teaching, no matter how great he is. Hopefully this will gradually change. But a few words on a sampling of silly statements that the Masters have made that no doubt plague some initiates. Bear in mind that there is no doubt here of the divine grace working in and behind these Masters, but in their human personalities they have said things that have raise some eyebrows on the discerning. This relates to the need for the individual to develop intelligence, dare to question, and not stifle doubts.
Let it be said that being graced with glimpses of the realization there is nothing to seek, nowhere to go, no separation, and the struggle is over, is the very way that the eternal re-sounding Harmony will manifest with clarion tones, penetrating to the depths of the Soul while alive and present in this very earthly body. Kirpal tried hard to bring us to this point. This is what is meant by the human form being the place where God-realization is to be attained. If that were only achieved by leaving the body, why would we need to come here? We were already out of the body. And, similarly, if this - matter - is considered only an illusion, and all seen subjectively as within us, instead of objectively as 'out there', then why the concern about abandoning it? In this way evolution is fulfilled, for in truth we did not fall, or rather, saying that we are a fallen soul is only one way of looking at it. Some will say that there is no need for a path, because there is only God and we are already there. Yet, the world and the body persist, and there is a purpose behind it all. We say that the key is to view things subjectively, while acting in an objective world. Then we own it, and then we grow. Truth IS here and now, but still we 'climb the mountain - of understanding, through life's ups and downs.
Kirpal often had a very difficult time keeping a straight face with his many old-fashioned 'scare story' comments. For instance, he would quote Kabir as saying, "O man, having gained the man body, this is your last chance or you will fall all the way down." We have discussed some of these possibilities before, in Part One, and will again, in Part Four. What - is there a form of divinely guided evolution, or isn't there? If there is, and evolution is so intelligent, bringing one to the point of having a man body, why should one fear falling 'all the way down'? To an amoeba? Impossible! The human soul has been man for a long, long time, and is not going all the way down. Theosophy says so, Sri Aurobindo said so, esoteric Christianity says so. And if there was no such divinely guided evolution, for that matter, how could one - as an animal no less - accrue the rare and noble karma necessary to gain a man body? Imposserus! Animals have no free will or self-conscious discriminative power and can not accrue karma.
Kirpal also liked to say, with a chuckle and a smile on his face, "we have to make the right use of the man-body, and that is - to be out of it!" Has anybody else ever thought there was something unusual about this kind of statement? Another one, repeated by Sant Darshan Singh, is, "the soul is trapped in the womb where the bones are formed under intense heat and pressure, and it pledges that if it ever gets out of that agony it will remain devoted to God all of its life." But then, said Kirpal, "the soul comes from its prenatal home in heaven, and is sustained in the womb by the holy light and sound, and cries when it is born because it knows it is cut off from it." Which is it then: was the womb-life heaven, or hell? See the problem with blind acceptance? It just can not be honestly done. We are not, to be clear, saying that the Masters often do not have very good reasons for saying what they say at one time or another, only that to ignore that there are contradictions in the spoken or written teachings is to be naive.
Now we have, for example, a wealth of Life-Between-Life (LBL) and Near-Death Experience (NDE) accounts, as well as extensive prenatal research, that contradict both of these stories. Nor has death been found to be universally painful and agonizing, as the ancient Koranic and Puranic accounts have scared millions with: "Like a thousand scorpions striking all at once," or "like pushing a thorny bush into the rectum and extracting it through the mouth."
You see, the Master, in his love, and perhaps a smidgeon of lingering doctrinal loyalty, often spoke with 'forked tongue'. he used a double-technique of both scaring us with punishment while attracting us to the joys of success on the path. He also often answered questions with two messages: one for the mind, often making little sense, thus short-circuiting the mind; and a second message with a deeper meaning specifically for the soul of the recipient. He had a field day with this teaching! How he wanted us to 'let go and let God', but how he also let us 'keep trying', no matter how painful, if we were not yet ready or capable of accepting that. Here’s one more:
“Have you reached God? Have you seen God? Are you true to Him? If so, that's good. If not…we should hurry up.”
You see? Hurry up…and relax! An obvious double-bind, only it wasn’t always so obvious to us years ago. I may be heretical, but sometimes I think maybe Judith Lamb-Lion was right about Kirpal speaking with forked tongue and at times throwing out a lot of stuff at us to see what would stick. When we ceased to buy, he would stop. Sounds crazy, but what else can account for much of it? Maybe it was divine play, or maybe he was having fun, or maybe there is no difference. Maybe it was his way of responding to goofy questions. I often think in some ways he outgrew his path, yet was maybe on a new learning curve on how to express his vision.
In retrospect, I don’t see him as a teacher so much as a function: one serving to undermine the illusion of the disciple. But a problem is that the path really discourages initiates to think out of the traditional box, which for years I felt was part of what Judith also meant when she said to me that “Kirpal ended an age.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT
Cognitive dissonance #1
One initiate colorfully expressed his views on this:
“It apparently takes courage, which is a form of insanity, to express your opinion based on personal experiences and careful thought that turns an honest light of doubt on what is considered by many as being, unquestionable and even sacred. I can not imagine that anyone who has questioned life and accepted the responsibility to do whatever is possible to wake up into deeper awareness could be but glad, inspired and moved to leave ignorance's darkness to follow a similar light!”
But many, from various forms of cultic pressure, succumb to hesitancy and timidity when faced with apparent or very real contradictions between their beliefs and reality. This does not likely apply so much to the reader who has comes so far in this book, but many remain a prisoner of their fears, and like William Bendix in the 50’s TV show “The Life of Reilly,” essentially think and say “My mind’s made up, don’t confuse me with the facts!”
Is it then “not expedient” to say any of this? Won’t some be hurt? Most likely, those won’t be reading such a book as this! Perhaps I am speaking to just a small choir. In the end it does not matter. The fact remains: the Path is real, but the ego of the disciple, in a way, is not. So some mental short-circuiting by the gurus may be inevitable. But its more exaggerated forms are no longer as necessary. Those days are fast receding. The world is waking up, and we must do likewise. Truth is always better. So an age is over, as many have come to feel. It is time to speak more plainly, so far as that is possible. And this is necessary because never before have all of the world's teaching been readily available to the masses, and their conflicting arguments beg for a resolution. This will happen with time. Just as all true desires must one day be fulfilled, so must true questions be answered. Even if those dissolve at the end of the mind's reach.
Yet, "God teaches not by words, but by pains and contradiction," echoes Jean-Pierre deCaussade. Not only in life, but especially in the form of a Master, one is entering a force-field that will work to eradicate all that works to defend and justify itself. We, of course, are talking about the ego, the 'liar from the very beginning' - but which is also part of the divine plan. So a Master will automatically be a vehicle for work that plan, whether or not he is skillful or brilliant in teaching. And this work may happen through odd behavior of the Guru. One may not be able at times to tell if he is really stupid, or just acting so! So this must be understood. Your heart, if it is sincere, will feel the difference. It is often a delicate matter, for the Guru is not a therapist. We want to feel supported? - Support what - that which must be surrendered? Finally one comes to this point. First the courtship, then the fire, is often the process.
One important consideration is that of new initiates being told to take their time studying the teaching until they are satisfied that this is right before committing themselves. That is all well and good, but, truly speaking, real understanding of the fine points of any teaching, in itself, its comparative relationship to other teachings, as well as its specific personal relevance to you, is not a task of a few weeks or months, but of many, many years - if one actually makes such an investigation. As of this writing Master Ching Hai seems to have made a start towards this end by requesting prospective disciples to view ninety lectures of hers and write several essays summarizing their understanding of them before taking initiation.
In this day of instant worldwide access to all the spiritual writings of mankind, which previously were provincial and separated, it is becoming clear that in spite of many attempts to conclude that 'all traditions and masters say the same thing', that in fact this is not true, and though there be similarities in some essentials, there are many conflicting arguments and differences of perspective - even regarding the same phenomena. Therefore, it is not surprising, and rather to be expected, that a person's initial understanding will pass through different stages, and subsequent opinions, beliefs and inner needs may change.
A true teaching should have room for this process and not insist on blind fidelity to all statutes through an initial decision made in relative ignorance, with the disciple feeling he may lose his place in the fold, or his sacred relationship with his Master, if his innate intelligence develops in this direction. This is not a problem unique to Sant Mat, but it is often overlooked by both teachers and disciples. Yet it should be welcomed, in our opinion, for disciples to freely seek out or explore other teachers, or books, for instruction - many are already doing it anyway - not as change of allegiance from their root-Guru, but to round out their understanding and development. Pythagoras in his Egyptian studies visited every man known for his wisdom. It has long been a practice for Tibetan masters, after a time, to send their disciples to other teachers or masters for just such a purpose. It was recognized that often it took an 'ecclesiastical' assembly of wisdom sources to get the job done. It is no shame for a Master to be fully competent in one dimension of spiritually, but lack a relative skill of teaching, which is not an automatic acquisition of realization, but the fruit of a lengthy cultivation along certain lines. No one need be placed under the stigma of having it said that 'his soul has become an adulterer,' because he has sought out instruction in areas not available to him through his chosen Master. As one friend of mine, now a teacher, has advised, 'dare to grasp the means of your own liberation'. If you have doubts, do not sit on them for years, but seek out answers. Absorb wisdom wherever you can find it. Have faith in yourself. One beloved devotee who went to many teachers for years, including Papaji, and studied advaita, after an accidental death was said by Rajinder Singh to have gone straight to Sach Khand because of his strong attachment to Kirpal.
Truth being infinite is manifest in many forms, channels, places, and times, and to different types and different levels of development of students. A certain amount of independence is needed to become spiritual adults, capable of reconciling many apparently contradictory teachings, and placing them in a mosaic of truth rather than trying to pigeonhole or redact them into fundamentalist Sant Mat, or 'our teaching is higher than yours', before one really knows that. If one is satisfied with his devotional path, that is certainly fine, and perhaps enough for him even for a lifetime, but if he further ventures to preach that his is the only way, he had first better exercise his discriminative mind to the fullest, before making such a claim - if even then.
Sri Nisargadatta: "you have thought your way into bondage and you have to think your way out of it."
Ramana Maharshi: "The delusion that has come by wrong thinking will go by correct thinking."
And further, ”Evil comes from a failure to think,” said Hannah Arendt. Might not we substitute “Kal” for “Evil” here? This would seem to some to be a 180 degree turn from the usual yogic saying that thinking is evil, or unspiritual, or that “the mind is the slayer of the real.” We are not talking about the time in meditation. But, for the rest of the hours of the day, we suggest that “Kal” loves it when people do not use their God-given brains to think and to think penetratingly. As mentioned previously, Swami Nikhilinanda went so far as to say that some men would rather die than think. Those are strong words. But people have died and are dying from not thinking and distorted thinking as well, so all this must be said.
Therefore we bluntly offer the following as 'street wisdom' from Marcus Aurelius:
"The object of life is not to be on the side of the majority but to escape finding oneself in the ranks of the insane."
In sum, the attitude, as seen on a bumper sticker, "Jesus said it; I believe it; that settles it," just will not do for most people anymore. Kirpal himself allowed for this freedom. In a talk in 1955 he said:
"There should be an awakening all around. We have become just like prisoners, you see, kept in the strongholds of social bodies, never to think the other way, never to see the faces of others. But we say, "Oh, we are all for the Truth." What you get from one is all right, but you are not debarred from going to anybody else. See what he is. If he gives you something more, all right, you go. My Master used to say, "You go there and tell me; I will also go." You see, man must be open to conviction."
Another fact that should have become obvious years ago: it is far past the time for initiates of any path to casually believe that they or their Masters have a monopoly on Truth. Not only is judgement and cultic opinion between Sant Mat branches unloving and inappropriate, but the holding of an attitude of superiority or even certainty, within Sant Mat in relationship to other legitimate paths, is, not only a display of ignorance, but not reflective of the Unity that is the need and message of the time. And Masters who play into this by using excessive platitudes, cliches, and rigid adherence to quotes from past Masters, instead of speaking from the human heart, with understanding, knowledge, and humility, are doing a disservice to those under their charge. Especially when many fear speaking their truth, for fear of being labelled 'disloyal', or servants of 'Kal'. Are we being too harsh in saying this? Are we risking injuring the faith of many for whom the simple teachings of a master are the food they can assimilate at the moment? That is a possibility duly considered, and no doubt the masters have a tough job - made all the tougher by the current Teacher-student model of this path - but if it were not for the suffering of many souls over what is but unnecessary obfuscation at this late date in human time, we would not be offering suggestions or opinions - thoughts which are already in the minds and hearts of all too great a number of initiates. One honest and outspoken Sant Mat master, Judith Lamb-Lion, who was derided as an 'agent of Kal' by those clinging to their prejudices, decades ago openly said in a letter to the worldwide sangat after Kirpal Singh's passing:
"Many masters are now alive and working to prepare the ground for the spiritual revolution in progress around the world. Master Kirpal said over and over again that a new age was coming and that many masters would be at work to focus light on the earth plane."
"Not only are there many masters but many unique avenues that souls now travel to gain new spiritual insights, new shifts in conscious experience, that have nothing to do with the masters' path directly as we perceive it. God works with every hand and every conceivable personality type in its own way."
"We are the generation affected by the collective consciousness of mankind as it evolves towards God's intended awakening potential. It is simply time - Kirpal did not invent the time, God set the time, and Kirpal was one of the important instruments. We move very near the edge of the universal shift in human consciousness. Satsangis do not have any corner on the market of changing consciousness. God awakens whom he pleases, He awakens when and where it pleases him to do so. Look around, he is at work everywhere.”
And furthermore:
"Once initiated no one needs to look for the physical master anywhere on the earth. Instead, when living profoundly centered in undemanding love for all the Master will automatically appear in your heart, in your home, in your play, and in your joy without ever asking...We only search again for the physical form to avoid serving Him in the troublesome student, the irritated boss, the tired wife, the crying child, the ugly fat man, the lonely widow, the junky on the corner, and the impolite sales clerk in the store. How long can we avoid serving Him and still vainly hope to find Him?"
"Masters do not say, "study me" - they say "man know thyself." No master can enlighten you or me - they give the tools to be sure, they give direction to be sure, but we must do the work to be sure. The whole of Reality must be plumbed within ourselves."
The latter forthright and challenging statement, which we are in fundamental agreement with, does have two half-truths within it: one, it is surely good to also 'study the Master', as it is good to study the lives of the saints and sages, so long as one stays balanced and does not aspire to be just a clone or copy of them, instead of being one's unique human and divine identity. And two, although our work is paramount, a Master can certainly be an agent of enlightening grace to the ripe soul, that is, the soul who is ready to receive this great gift.
In The Night is a Jungle, Kirpal wrote:
"Unless a student opens his own consciousness, the teacher can impart nothing. He can only direct, counsel and define. But understanding cannot be imparted. That must come from within, and through self-development. Of course, he gives you some experience of how to know yourself, how to analyze yourself from the body. You have to start with that, no doubt. But working that way, in accordance with the guidance and help given by the master, you will one day come to realize that reality is within you." (420)
And today all sources are proclaiming, within, without, above, below - and as you.
"My me is God, nor do I know my selfhood except in God," wrote St. Catherine of Genoa. This is the degree of intimacy we eventually must realize, and cease projecting outside in dependency on an 'other'. Yet even as we struggle to understand, "God or Guru never forsakes those who surrender themselves," proclaimed Ramana; "If you remember Him, He remembers you," said Kirpal; and "to those who think of me near, I am near," promised Yogananda. All true Masters concur on this point. Even more, God remembers even if you do not, being the only Faithful and True One there Is.
A related issue is that some initiates may have or develop more of a bias towards jnana than bhakti, which should not be a stumbling block on the path. Many initiates have and realize a profound connection with Kirpal, but after many years only moderate resonance with the totality of current practices, life conditions, or even philosophical approach of the teaching. That, too, is a problem, and why we boldly tender the suggestion that one be open to think of Kirpal, for instance, or whoever one's chosen guru was, as much more than he was in his past incarnation. Because he yet is, and what was expressed in that life is not all he has done, is doing, or represents spiritually on this planet. And he fully supports an interest in any authentic practice and perspective that helps or works for his initiate. That is our own intuition and belief, which of course all need not share. The key thing is to have faith and trust in Him as supportive of one's essential Being, and faith in one's Self. Believe that it is simple, and already accomplished, although its confirmation in time be complex. The Master dwells in the innermost heart-centre of His devotee, as the devotee dwells in Him.
Our opinion is that a modern, mature, balanced, integral path (of which there are very few) must include a profound understanding of each individual, and craft the path to match the specific needs of each person. Obviously this is very difficult in a large movement, leaving much responsibility on the individual's plate. In such a path, nevertheless, spiritual practices and qualities are seen as antidotes to imbalances and issues, and need to be applied in a skillful way. For instance, in the case of many people where there is already an imbalance towards excessively critical self-evaluation, then suggesting something like a regimented, simplistic diary form is not only not ideal, but may be counter-productive. It can exaggerate self-judgment. So qualities need to be in balance, and discrimination/judgment/conscience/evaluation need to be balanced with acceptance, patience, understanding and compassion. Balance of these is key, and a path that does not understand this has inherent limitations. There will be those who thrive, those who suffer, and those with mixed results. A path has many facets. The beauty of Sant Mat is that the grace of a true Master is a profound thing, and the spiritual practices are powerful - for those whom they work for. But the practices, especially auxiliary practices, many are finding not universally accessible - no practices are - so there is an additional although not insurmountable problem there. With all due respect, forgive me for saying this, but I feel I must. Personally I am embarrassed by the extant diary form used in one lineage that has been discussed. The original intention behind it was good, but a lot has changed in human consciousness since then and a one-size-fits-all approach to self-realization does not work. After fifty years, something new is long overdue. It makes me uneasy, like someone in a Catholic school, or perhaps a Moonie selling flowers for a cause, in the sense that, who could I introduce to this path showing them such a piece of paper they must fill out? It seems evident that few serious, discriminating seekers, in the West at least, will accept this sort of thing anymore. Or more to the point, that it will not serve them anymore. So this is a problem, and needs an upgrade, in my humble opinion. But, who am I to say these things? Nobody in particular. Perhaps I have no right, and mean no disrespect for the Masters. I have never felt more love or closer to my initiating Master than I do today. If he hadn't called me a 'new man' and told me to 'go tell everyone I was a new man', I would still be sitting in my room and keeping quiet. But I am apparently incapable of doing that, and this is how I feel, nor am I alone. The question is, does this resonate with the reader? We sense, from feedback received, it does.
All paths thus have strengths and weaknesses. But the bottom line at some point, it seems, comes down to this:
“If a man is to remain forever the mere appendage of another man, if his mind is to echo back only that other man's idea, the question arises: When will he come to himself, his Atma? For is this not the final purpose or our life here?" -Brunton
Something to ponder well.
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
What comes out of your mouth is more important than what goes into it: considerations on diet and ethics; Varied diets among sages; What about the Eskimos - can they become initiates?; The Issue of eggs: nutrition; pasture-raised; what’s best for chickens as a species; fertile/infertile; Birth - Ego - Person; The garden of Eden or the cave; Animal husbandry and nutrition; Sattvic/unsattvic; Health issues never faced by Kabir or Nanak; Prophet Mohammed’s advice; Cain, the first self-righteous vegetarian; The full moral implications; The Hindu theory of the five elements and the minimizing of dietary karmas: is it partly fear-based?; OMG! Guru Nanak and the Sikh Gurus ate meat; Sikhism or Kabir - the roots of modern Sant Mat, and their influence on vegetarianism; Is even breathing a sin?; Wine!; The role of intuition; The true Guru; Graduation
The following are not recommendations, but solely some of my own feelings and observations, and the reader is free to accept or reject them. We will no doubt step on some sacred cows here, but our investigation into heart and fear, reason and inherited dictates, must go to the root of all areas to be complete. We propose there are ethical issues involved that may not have been considered in this area, while also recognizing that we cannot solve all the world’s problems, or make it perfect any time soon, and that without God’s help we are totally lost and can barely move a single step fin the right direction.
Once I was taken up to Kirpal Singh's bedroom to see him before my departure to the States. One small thing I noticed, which may be of interest only for those on this particular path, and for whom, after all these years, it may still seem like a big deal. There was a bottle of fish oil on his night stand. Being vegetarians I mentioned that to his longtime friend Gyaniji and he said, "yes, I know, but it is very good for health." I didn't pursue the conversation further. My being allowed to see this was something that I remembered over the years and have pondered over how much intuition I should use on such health matters. It is possible that perhaps someone left it there and Kirpal did not use it. This of course I do not know. He did not seem to be very directive with his disciples, even to the point of permitting a loud, blaring TV to be on in the room next door where he would give morning satsangs. Ramana Maharshi was accused of being like this, too, even to the point of getting sick eating ganja (a variety of cannabis sativa) given to him by a devotee on one occasion. So I did not know the true meaning or significance of what I was allowed to witness there. But Kirpal was a great master, and if he did want to take fish oil, who am I to question it? For some initiates of Sant Mat this tale of the fish oil have seemed incredulous, but to many practitioners on other paths, as well as myself, it is nothing much at all. One satsangi who read this said he didn't believe this story one bit (!), which, with all due respect, to me reflects an all too prevalent state of cultic paranoia. All I can say is, it was true, but is really not a big deal for anyone but me at the time, nor is it a big deal for me now. I didn't take it as a sign to become a non-vegetarian, but, at the very least it made me much less righteous in my judgement of those who are.
Through the years I have observed the attitude and behavior of other masters on this issue. Sri Ramakrishna ate meat. His disciple Brahmananda loved to fish. Some satsangis say that proves they were agents of Kal. Sri Nisargadatta said he came from a family of meat-eaters and ate very little if it, but felt it was no big deal. Bhai Sahib had both vegetarian and non-vegetarian disciples. He basically left diet for them to decide. Charan Singh was against even the putting down of sick animals at his ashram, while Nisargadatta felt that "from animal's point of view being killed is not the worst form of dying, and preferable to sickness and senile decay." Even so he said he was personally against killing of animals for food or their fur. But still, he ate a small amount of meat yet spoke little about it. Brunton, on the contrary, personally was very strict on the vegetarian diet. He was more of a vegan, with oatmeal with ground sunflower seeds on top for breakfast, a salad for lunch, and a cooked grain and vegetables for dinner. He would take no medicine if it had any animal products in it, even when he was dying and doctors insisted. Some men of principle are like that. Ramana by custom was vegetarian, but didn't tell people what to do. Among the Orthodox monks on Mount Athos some eat vegetables they grow, and some eat fish they catch. One concern of theirs is the effects of certain foods on increasing testosterone and inflaming the passions, not in accruing negative karma like the Sants are. But so many in our recent generations are becoming weakened low-testosterone ("low-T") physical specimens, is that then necessarily the way to go? No women are allowed on Mt. Athos either, for the same reason, and no judgement is meant here for a difficult choice and a hard lifestyle with its own unique challenges. But one can see how this is a negative approach to dealing with the passions, with the way for most of us being a mental and emotional transformation in the midst of the ordinary circumstances of life. This was described earlier as “scrubbing,” a deep karmic cleansing or “re-wiring” of the entire system. But of course, who can take it?
“Low-T” is certainly not the answer. After all, in the Sant Mat tradition the Sikhs were warriors, not effete spiritual seekers with a devitalized self-consciousness. All things being equal, better to have energy and passion and direct it spiritually than to artificially limit it out of fear in a misguided attempt to become spiritual.
Some Buddhist scriptures, especially the Lankavatara Sutra, speak of vegetarian diet. Not all, however; the early sutras of the Buddha permit monks who beg for alms to accept meat, unless they know it was sacrificed specifically for them. The Dalai Lama, who sometimes quoted these sutras, didn't become one himself until 1965, when he was already thirty years old. Our friend Ishwar Puri took credit for his conversion. This could be true, but has anybody ever verified this with His Holiness? In any case, this suggests to me for one thing that it is hard to live on vegetables in cold Tibet. Maybe the great Yogi Milarepa, known as the green man for living on thistles, with a highly activated kundalini, could do it. Brunton acknowledged this problem but still said that if the Tibetans could get vegetables they should eat them as it is said that the Buddha did not eat meat. Meanwhile, these days His Holiness is vegetarian only every other day, on advice from his doctors who told him he needs some meat. Paul McCartney, vegan and PETA spokesperson, in correspondence with the Dalai Lama wrote him back telling him his doctors are wrong! The Dalai Lama did not change.
One current Sant Mat teacher, Ching Hai, has a website that claims that every great master in human history was a vegan. Mohammed was a vegan, it says; this is not so, Muslim sutras say that while he did eat grapes, bread, dates, and olives, he also especially enjoyed the leg of lamb. And Jesus was vegetarian? Only the modern yogis insist on this, historians and biblical scholars as well as Church Fathers say he most likely ate lamb and fish. Little is known of him for sure, but many attribute Pythagoras (b. 570 BC) as having been one of the first proponents of the fleshless diet. This is significant inasmuch as many of the ancient mystery schools up to the time of Christ trace their origins to the school Pythagoras set up at Croton. But all that is more or less agreed upon is that he was against eating fava beans, and any non-sacrificed meat such as fish and poultry. Aristoxenus said that he allowed eating all foods except oxen used for plowing and rams. Heraclides said Pythagoras ate meat from sacrifices, and established a diet for athletes dependent on meat. Even though he is said to have believed in metempsychosis or reincarnation and decried the pleasures of sex as to be indulged in “only if one wishes to be weaker than you are,” in diet and other things he seems more Greek than Hindu in promoting a philosophy of balance in life.
To advocate veganism is honorable, and to promote it as an alternative to the evils of factory farming is difficult to argue against, but veganism remains just one view on the matter of man, animals, diet, and the greater good - which we will get into in greater detail. Regenerative farming and ranching also offers a compelling ethical and environmental alternative to the factory farming model. This website appears to make scientific statements that are not accurate, which could be mistaken, but I can't help thinking it is perhaps to promote veganism. This is typical of the green as well as progressive movements in general: the ends justify the means. This of course is not the principle of Christianity or Buddhism, where truth is of paramount importance. The website of this sangha makes no bones about the need for us to stop eating meat to combat the threat of climate change, which fits in with the goals of the Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation which supports their work, because, it says, it "takes a trillion years to produce a planet." Does it in fact take a trillion years to produce a planet? I don't know, but let us forget that for now. The website says that it takes 100,000 liters of water to produce two pounds of beef, whereas it only takes 500 liters of water to produce two pounds of potatoes. The reality is that it takes 14000 liters of water to produce two pounds of beef, so this number is inflated seven times. Two pounds of potatoes, of course, do not have nearly the nutritional value as two pounds of beef, so this is a false comparison, but further, it takes the same amount of water - 14,000 liters - to produce two pounds of almonds. Kirpal Singh once said a handful of almonds and some currants give as much nutrition as an egg. Whatever his point in saying this was, it isn’t even close scientifically, and in today’s world perhaps might even be considered not environmentally friendly due to the wasted water to produce almonds. There might be an equivalent amount of nutrition in general, but it is of a completely different composition, there being many beneficial nutrients in eggs not present in almonds or currants.
Regardless of whether one is in favor of veganism or not, truth matters, in my opinion. It is also claimed that the methane from cows and cattle produce 50% of greenhouse gases. This is not true. Total production of methane from all food production is 17% of methane emissions, not total greenhouse gases, and with perhaps just 8% of methane coming from livestock. That is then a relatively tiny slice of total greenhouse gases, assuming greenhouse gases are a problem, and with regenerative agriculture that could be reduced to practically zero. Furthermore, even if everyone stopped eating meat, the existing one billion cows in the world, unless killed or bred out of existence, would still produce the same amount of methane, and if eliminated, the same greens would cry foul at the loss of a species. So there is a problem here and we will examine it shortly. The website also claims that if you eat meat you will die of heart disease at fifty, based on something Dr. Christiaan Barnard, the man who performed the first heart transplant, once said. However one feels about eating or not eating meat, there is no scientific evidence to support that claim, and, in fact, in many cases evidence to the contrary of people on mostly carnivore diets for decades being free from diabetes and various health ailments. We are not building a case to advocate one diet or another, only presenting the difficulty in making extreme health claims on the basis of religion.
Manav Dayal [Dr.] I.C. Sharma, a successor to Baba Faqir Chand, said he was o.k. with eggs. Many years of study by various authorities whose opinions I respect argue there are at least some if not many people who need some amounts of animal protein in their diet to be in optimal health. This may depend on many factors, genetics, lifestyle and exercise included. Of course, the scientists are often only speaking in regards to physical and mental, not necessarily spiritual health, although the three are not so inseparable as they were considered to be in the past. My personal opinion on this, which is highly subject to error, is that the time for strict rules, including dietary ones, from 'on high' are over, as in any case it seems that more and more decent people are coming around to a sane, healthy, and ethical dietary and general moral regimen of their own accord.
According to PEW research, 40% of Indians consider themselves total vegetarians, while many more have various restrictions on time or place of eating certain foods. The breakdown among regions is interesting. The west (57%), central (61%), and north (71%), have the highest percentage of vegetarians, while the east (18%), northeast (19%), and south (30%) have the lowest. These somewhat parallel the breakdown among religions: Jains (92%), Sikhs (59%), Hindu (47%), Buddhists (25%), Christians (10%), Muslims (8%). The percentages are somewhat higher in groups who consider religion a priority in their lives. Just one in ten families eats eggs in Rajasthan, while six or seven out of every ten families eat them in Goa or in West Bengal. Many Brahmans refuse meat but do not hesitate to eat an omelette or another dish containing eggs. On the subject of eating root vegetables (i.e., onions, garlic, rutabagas, turnips), where pulling out the roots destroys the plant itself, Jains (67%) come out the highest abstainers, followed by Hindus (21%), Sikhs (16%), Buddhists (13%). As for the practice of fasting, one finds Jains (84%), Hindus (79%), Muslims (75%), and Sikhs (28%). Sikhs are north and west, with more vegetarianism and less fasting, while Buddhists are east and northeast, and less vegetarianism, except among monks (somewhat similar to Christianity).
The history of vegetarianism in India begins not with the Aryans, as is commonly believed by many Hindus, but in the aftermath of the introduction of Buddhism and Jainism in the sixth century BCE. Though orthodox Hindus are shocked to hear it, the early Aryans were almost certainly beef-eaters. So are we to conclude that Sikhs more spiritual than Buddhists and Christians?
What about the Eskimos - Can they become initiates?
The following is just an observation, once again, and not a recommendation, nor is it an endorsement, or castigation, of any particular guru or his teaching. We may get to that later! But a typical question about diet that sometimes comes up is one that was asked of Kirpal Singh fifty years ago, “Well, what about the Eskimos? They can’t be vegetarians.” His reply, obviously directed to the one he was dealing with, was something like, “What do you care about the Eskimos?! Are you their advocate? Take care of yourself, please.” Many will argue (as I was once inclined to do) that any and all pleas of people whose doctors say they need animal products for their health are bogus. And in some cases they have been. But are we always so sure? Much information has come to us in recent years that at the very least casts some doubt on that presumption, while of course there are those equally committed with evidence on the opposite side. An analysis of five different areas of the world (see The Blue Zones) that have the highest numbers of centenarians revealed that most were largely vegetarians, but eating a small amount of meat or fish. Spending a large part of the day outdoors, having a well-knit community life, as well as a religious faith were also contributing factors for bothy well-being and longevity.
At any rate, there is a story in Russell Perkin’s book The Ajaib Years that was meaningful for me. This is not ancient history, and I assume there was something unusual about this case. It appears there was a man who wanted initiation from Ajaib Singh whose doctors insisted that due to certain medical conditions he absolutely could not survive on anything but meat. Russell told him he would have to ask Ajaib about this, as being a vegetarian was a condition for initiation. After hearing Russell’s account, Ajaib was quiet for a while, and then said, “What can we do? It seems he has to have it. Tell him to come for initiation.” This story struck me, no more and no less, as a reasonable, human, and heartfelt response - a Sant Mat "2.0+” attitude. That is to say, whether factually accurate or not, whether the guru "knew everything" or not, to find in this story evidence for labelling someone as being influenced by "Kal" feels at the very least divisive, presumptuous, silly, if not boring.
I still am inclined emotionally and ethically towards the Sant Mat position of vegetarianism, for several reasons (compassion, karma, health, ecology), but, not to the extreme, however, and no longer feel the right to judge anyone (including myself) for their choices. As Kirpal once remarked, "to hurt someone's feelings because they eat meat is worse than eating meat itself," and, "more important than what goes into your mouth is what comes out of it." This is very similar to Matthew 15:11 in the Gospel: "What goes into someone's mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them."
The Issue of eggs: nutrition; pasture-raised; what’s best for chickens as a species and our younger brothers; fertile/infertile
First, some considerations regarding malnutrition in poorer countries like India. The Supreme Court of India has ruled that eggs are acceptable for many vegetarians. This is important because labels have to be placed on non-vegetarian foods in certain areas of the country. The court has argued that the trade of eggs is not harmful to society and that eating eggs can improve public health. Doctors also consider eggs to be a nutritious supplement. Some vegetarians, called lacto-ovo-vegetarians, eat eggs as part of their diet. The Vegetarian Society considers this to be the most common type of meatless diet. However, some vegetarians in India, especially those who practice Hinduism, do not eat eggs because they consider them meat. A 2006 survey by the Delhi-based Center for the Study of Developing Societies found that more than 50 percent of Indians are in fact non-vegetarian. They eat fish, chicken, beef and, yes, eggs, too.
Interestingly, the cow is considered sacred in most of India, with fines and jail time in some provinces for killing one. There are 300 million dairy cows there, definitely not a vegan country. Surprisingly India actually slaughters more beef cattle than the U.S, however - 38 million a year - but exports most of it. One wonders if "out of sight, out of mind" is the rationalization?
"Vegetarianism is often limited to privileged, upper caste Hindu communities and a couple of other religions, like Jainism." Most underprivileged Indians, on the other hand, including Dalits and tribal communities, are non-vegetarians, says spokesperson Sinha. Their children make up the majority of India's most malnourished. That is why public health policy experts and right-to-food activists all over the country are trying to introduce eggs into government schools and day cares. Some states already serve eggs, and they are popular among the children. Sinha recalls an incident from several years ago, when she was visiting schools in the southern state of Andhra Pradesh to see how well the school lunch program was working. The state had recently begun to provide eggs in school lunches. One school had a box where students submitted their complaints and feedback about the school meal. "We opened it, and one of the letters in that box was from a girl in [fourth grade]," says Sinha. "It was a Dalit girl, who said, 'Thank you very much. I got to eat an egg in my life for the first time.' Wherever eggs are introduced, attendance goes up," says Sinha. "It's very popular, because children don't get it at home." Eggs are also an easy way to provide much-needed protein and fat to malnourished children, says Sachin Jain, the food rights activist. They are easy to procure locally, and storage and transportation aren't a problem. "No vegetarian food item is that good a source of protein," he says. Milk, which comes close and is often touted as a good alternative by vegetarians like Chouhan, comes with many complications. It is often diluted by suppliers and is easy to contaminate, says Jain. It also requires more infrastructure to store and transport to remote rural areas. "I am a vegetarian," adds Jain. "I have never touched an egg. But I have other sources of fat and protein, like ghee (clarified butter) and milk. Tribals, Dalits and other poor people don't have these options. They can't afford these things. Then, eggs become a very good option for them."
Bodies are also very different, and I do not harbor as dogmatic of a position as I used to on this part of the teaching. If someone wants to eat eggs, it is not for me to cast blame. It does seem to me that unfertilized eggs, if available, would be less karmic than fertilized, although both are still taboo on this path, as well as in traditional yogic teachings of the past where eggs are considered as creating 'heat' in the body, inflaming passions, containing the germ of higher life, and so on. However, pasture-raised eggs are by far the best, and most of them are fertile eggs. Certainly, paying even double for eggs from pasture-raised chickens is a healthier and more humane practice than buying caged and corn-fed eggs. The former are far superior nutritionally, having many times the omega-3 fats, half the cholesterol, more amino acids, and far more choline (seven times) and other critical nutrients difficult to get elsewhere. Choline is the precursor to acetylcholine, an essential neurotransmitter for the parasympathetic nervous system, and thus extremely important for mental health in this day and age. The RDA for choline according to the NIH is 550 mg. At 147 mg per egg, just two egg yolks total almost 300 mg (60% of the RDA), while one cup of cooked kidney beans - one of the highest vegetarian sources - only gives 54 mg (10 % of the RDA). Who can eat 6-8 cups of beans per day? This seems like an important health consideration to have to sort out the benefits versus karmic (if any) liabilities, especially taking into account the preceding section on mental illness. Egg whites, moreover, increase serotonin, so could their consumption reduce the need for SSRI-type antidepressants as well as anti-anxiety medications? The father of medicine, Hippocrates, said "let food be your medicine." If we have no scruples in taking a vaccine made from animal products, then why not a few eggs - for medical/nutritional purposes? Many medical experts, including natural health advocate Christopher Hills, consider eggs to be a perfect food. So this seems something to consider before overt condemnation or judgement.
What then is the logical result, however, of not lovingly raising chickens that can cavort and delight happily all day in green pastures, free from predators with the help of their sheltering Pyrenese guard dogs or human guardians? And, by the way, not being harmed, nor deprived of having a "perfect family life" [strictly from our perspective, I doubt they have ever missed it in all of human history] raising their kids (chicks) until they are fully grow? A filthy cramped and short life on a shelf in the dark in a factory (and whose feces that falls through the slats often shoveled off and mixed with other stuff to be sold as feed for pigs. Real nice! (Check out hog industry journals if you don’t believe it). It's at least as bad with cattle and dairy cows in confined feeding lots (AKA 'factory farms). It was the inhumane nature of these operations that had Sant Rajinder Singh briefly considering with his sangat whether initiates should become vegans. But such a requirement in such big sanghas is apparently largely unworkable. And, of course, the problem is much less on small, sustainable family farms which have been around for millennia.
But this raises other ethical questions over whether or not to support radical veganism or even vegetarianism as a solution to the ahimsa or non-violence aspect of the teachings, and whether if one has a gnostic world-view (such as Sant Mat and other yogic and mystical paths) one can honestly believe he can personally be free of any taint with matter - or that if one has a non-gnostic world-view (such as mainstream Christianity) he will be damned for it - or that in an imperfect world it is possible and desirable to avoid all killing. Some will say this is not their problem and that the world will do what it will do and has always done and that is that. Others may feel that the greater good is their responsibility as well and that at times it may be necessary and desirable to be content with raising humanity in incremental stages to a higher spiritual goal, and supporting causes that enhance that.
What am I saying? Simply that, while a number of great men and saints throughout history have unquestioningly advocated a vegetarian diet, and many people of one persuasion or another undoubtedly will feel everything coming down the pike is currently peachy, and may reel with cognitive dissonance at what I have to say, it is still my view that at present there is a coterie of organized evil masquerading as good - "philanthropaths" as some have named them - eugenists, corporate medical and agricultural interests that seem intent on culling the herd (us) by reducing the health of the what they consider "useless eaters," "riffraff", i.e., the toiling masses - for a buck, surely, but for more than just a buck - while simultaneously siren-like seducing us into a hive-mind, and among these groups are such as the WEF promising that you will: "own nothing and be happy," live in cyber-controlled "15-minute cities," locked into WiFi devices, subsisting on a diet of fake and lab-grown "meat" - and "bugs" - instead of real food sustaining the human race for thousands of years, are also among those ardently advocating veganism - for everyone except themselves.I think this is what the elite behind all these corporations that are all interlocking want: to have a small number of species in sanctuaries like the national parks where we, a much reduce population confined into cities, cannot visit, while the self-proclaimed’ Olympians, eat and do whatever they want. Laugh if you want, this must be considered, in my opinion.
There is an ongoing war against farmers, big and small, against truckers, and the food and livelihood they supply for millions. Trial balloons of new catastrophic pandemics are announced that seem to threaten the beef, milk, poultry and egg businesses en masse, while our soils - and breakfast cereals - continue to be made more nutrient deficient with chemicals from big ag and big food corporations. At the same time, an ever-increasing network of thousands of orbiting satellites and lattice-work of cables blanketing nearly every neighborhood on the globe with UHF (5G and soon to be even more) electro-magnetic radiation, driving away birds, bees and other animal life, increasing neurological disorders and cancers, along with reported and possible scalar-frequency-induced viral infections and genetic mutations, with all systems of society converging towards a great connectivity awaiting only a digital currency to put the capstone on an ages-old plan of total control by, if you want to call it so, willing accomplices of the most materialistic aspects of "kal." All of these weren’t of much concern in the earlier days of Sant Mat.
All in all our health is under assault on many fronts, and individual intelligence and choice seems more important than ever on these matters rather than following a simplistic dictum from on high. The human form is precious, and maintaining its strength and health - and nutrient dense foods that support it - are an imperative in the times we live in. And what that that will be will vary for each individual.
Even Sir Paul McCartney, vegan and PETA spokesperson, was part of the group who placed a picture of Aleister Crowley - a major Illuminati Satanist - at the top of a pyramid of figures on their Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band album cover. Was that just "cute", and has he now personally changed? I don't know. My own questions are: how can I support those who are not vegans or vegetarians, and may never be so, but whose lifestyle, religious, ethical, moral and political views on the whole represent a force standing for liberty against what many who of us consider a much greater evil? and, do we sometimes need to break a precept in order to maintain this human frame as best as it can be without idealistically holding to a single course, even more so out of fear that God is keeping score, rather than reading the hearts?
The Bible warns of "Satan masquerading as an angel of light." It certainly looks like we are in such a time.
Personally, in light of all this, and in the interests of the greater good, I feel it necessary to revisit many of the assumptions I once held sacred in the area of food choices. Many of the arguments proposed by Diet for a Small Planet and Diet for a New America regarding the moral, ethical, and practical superiority of being a vegetarian versus an omnivore I am not so sure are valid. A typical argument has been that half of all grain produced goes to animal feed, and that three-fourths of all agricultural land is used for livestock production, therefore we could feed all the world on grains and beans if we eliminated meat-eating. This sounds convincing at first glance, but is misleading. It has been estimated that only 11% of the Earth's surface is actually tillable or suitable for crop production, but a great deal of the rest supports animal production very well. Grazing cattle and animals on this type of land improves the soil and makes it more productive especially with managed grazing, requiring no or little grain. In "Diet for a Large Planet," [Dr. Mercola, 6-6-24] Sally Fallon Morell writes, "Land that supported just thirty cows with continuous grazing [where cows mill around aimlessly on a large piece of ground], will support three hundred cows with managed grazing [where the cows are confined to a small area of pasture but moved every day, in imitation of Nature's grazing patterns] - and with environmental improvement rather than degradation."
The introduction of subsidized GMO corn and soy by concentrated food and agricultural industries - ingredients popular in many vegan and vegetarian foods - has led to many health problems, such as diabetes and cancer, and a deficiency of many critical nutrients such as zinc, vitamins A, D, and B12, are common especially in the third world on a diet without any animal products. A lot of vegetarians in the West have gotten by with eating too much of fake meat products made of "modified soy protein" and "soy protein isolate" - abominations from a health point of view being high in mineral blocking phytates and trypsin inhibitors. Tempeh is okay, being fermented, but tofu has traditionally been consumed in Japan in only modest proportions and often as part of a mineral-rich fish broth, which counters some of its deleterious effects.
If farming were supported at the small and local level instead of CAFO's (concentrated animal feeding operations) and large industrialized mono-cropping farms using artificial fertilizers instead of animal manure, much of the world's population could be fed nutritiously and the environment also benefitted. In Nature, plants and animals always are symbiotically found together, each supporting the other, as well as living and dying together in a mutually sacrificial environment. 70% of the world's food is still produced by small farms that support a host of animals as well. This has many benefits, including preventing a lot of wastage that goes along with separating animals into single-species CAFO's. Should we not support such people? Or are we content to rest unsullied by the world? I don't think the forces of evil in the West will win, and even as they try, Russia, China and India are not on board with their crisis-reaction-solution plans. China cares about global warming? It is true they have greatly increased their wind and solar energy sources, but then why are they building new coal plants? Simply because they need all the energy they can get. Why are Russia and China moving towards a market economy and industrialization, while the West [at the time of this writing, October 2024] seems to be moving towards socialism and a green pre-industrial utopia? If the Arctic is melting and sea levels are rising, why are many elite buying beachfront property, and why did the canals in Venice dry up last year? Why has the NOAA recorded no change in mean temperature in the U.S. in the past twenty years, and NASA saying we are entering a Maunder Minimum, a twenty year period of cooling due to low sunspot activity, if we are experiencing catastrophic global warming? Why have IPCC insiders claimed that their figures are off by as much as 3-4 degrees? A recent Dartmouth study concluded the Antarctic ice shelf is in no danger of falling into the sea any time soon, and the Arctic ice has frozen earlier and is thicker than it has been in several years. According to Al Gore and the ‘scientists’ it was to have melted entirely by 2009. Even if it did, it has done so many times in the past, and industrialization had nothing to do with it. The polar bears are not getting stranded on melting ice flows, their population is three times what it was in the 1980's, and they have been successfully adapting to climate change for millions of years. So there often appears to be a serious disconnect between the actual scientific data and the news media.This of course is evident the medical-pharmaceutical complex as well. Both long-time editors of the two most prestigious medical journals, the JAMA and the Lancet, both quit saying over 50% of the medical research and studies were not trustworthy. It behooves the intelligent spiritual spirant to question why all of this is so.
Strange, isn't it? But never mind, Master Ching Hai recently said by inner revelation that Donald Trump is an incarnation of Quan Yin, as well as the reincarnation of General Patton who always fights to win, and who will fix our problems. Patton died only nine months before Trump was born, so he didn’t waste much time coming back. I actually agree with her - but without benefit of revelation - that he may be a white knight at the moment, especially with RFK, Jr on his team, but with a Master by my side (lol) I now feel freer to say it without risking being pilloried as much by my liberal brothers. Don't know about the Quan Yin thing though. And one thing is for sure, Trump will never be a vegan! With JFK on his team they can delink the FDA from Big Ag and Big Food as well as the NIH, supporting small farmers and a more decentralized system, which would be a great thing, especially especially given the stiff headwinds they will face.
Ching Hai is unique among current Masters in speaking a lot about warfare between positive and negative powers on the subtle planes. Some see this as a bit strange, as not something genuine masters and sages usually do, but we will not judge such disclosures in themselves as being either right or wrong. After all, this sort of inner warfare has been going on for eons, but most Masters keep it to themselves, for various discretionary reasons, including the avoidance of cultism and egoism in their followers. Some group leaders of other sangats who will remain unnamed consider her demonic, but we do not presume to do so. After all, what do we really know? She seems to be a bodhisattva for China and southeast Asian countries where there is ongoing religious persecution, and where Sant Mat had not yet taken hold. An initiate of Thakar Singh, she then had a Himalayan master with whom she claimed to become enlightened, and has since been said to have united with Kirpal and Sawan inside and is doing their work in those parts of the world. Who can gainsay it? Kirpal said there would be many fragrant saints appearing in the coming age, as did Ramakrishna who had earlier said they would appear "like grapes in clusters."
A recent announcement by Ching Hai was that she created, in May 2024, a barrier and separate world between the third and fourth spiritual planes for two groups of zealous, hostile demons who willingly relocated there from our planet, and were very happy and grateful to God for their new home, so they will no longer harm our spiritual progress, and since then, things are much better for us in that respect. Strange, but who dare say it is not possible, if one recalls that in Buddhism there is the concept of Pure Lands created by adepts like Padmasambhava such as his Copper Mountain, which are more as a spiritual sanctuary than as a holding pen for demons, but then again, maybe things like these do exist sanctuaries for demons, for they need help, too, don't they?
Let us now return to our discussion of diet. We have come a long way from the ways of our ancestors, who were more in tune with the cycles of Nature, and it is true, we may not be able to attain a perfect system, nor may we be able to avoid all killing. But things can get worse than they are at present, and that is a concern.
But let's go one step further in this thought exercise. What would be the effect on animal welfare and their quality of life if, for instance, eggs and man/chicken husbandry were eliminated? Would these creature be “free" to live their lives and raise their families as they pleased instead of being enslaved by their human masters? No, their destiny would not be very good. In fact, as far as we know, whether one looks at recorded history or goes by the Biblical account of the "Fall" and then the Flood, these animals were never existent on their own in the wild, but were always domesticated. Cows and oxen were supposedly originally kept for the excess milk not needed by their calves, and to help with building and then plowing, not for their meat, and so could still be kept for those purposes. Even then there was some unavoidable killing. But chickens serve no purpose as farm animals other than for their eggs, and never have. They could not survive in the wild today, and in fact would soon be eaten by predators, with the result that one more species would be gone. And the radical greens would not tolerate that! So let us get practical. The same could be said for the existence of cows, except perhaps in India, where by a quirk of history they have been considered sacred. Here in the West we could not release them on their own to the Great Plains like buffalo; those days are gone. Although the vision of the same cabal, of kal if you like, that would herd us into digitally controlled cities also desires park-like animal sanctuaries in the vast empty spaces where only they will be able to visit.
But that aside, we certainly can support freeing creature from the factory farm hell, in stages, by at least making it cleaner and less environmentally polluting (there are technologies to do so) while supporting more local dairy farming. At least as an interim step towards a better world, shouldn’t we? I support supporting small farmers who produce raw milk and cheese and pasture-raised eggs and even beef, for several reasons: it is much healthier and less cruel than factory farming. Second, because Monsanto and Cargyll practically control the whole world food supply, which is not good. As also do the other big food companies like Tyson Foods. They are at war and decimating small farms by the thousands with their killer seeds drifting onto organic farms and then suing them for illegal use of their seeds. The soil is being ruined. Thousands of Indian farmers have committed suicide because of being bankrupted by Big Ag. This will destroy farmers markets, too, so vegans will not be immune. They’ve depleted the soil of minerals through chemical fertilizers and mono-cropping and made produce and grains less healthy.
Another question someone’s wonder about, and no spiritual master has spoken to this so far as I know, is what happens to the animals when they die. All we have is speculation. Brunton once said that as compensation for their often mode of death by being eaten by other creatures is that they advance into other species. But no one knows this, or even if there is evolution. In India kind of idiosyncratically they have long believed the cow is saved and become a man after they die. But that too is groundless. Where would billion cows go if they bred them out of existence? To other solar systems or galaxies ? Certainly not here - the Club of Rome and World Economic Forum are already trying to figure out the easiest way to get the human population from 8 billion to 1 billion. This has some importance in how we look at the issue of sacrificing a farm animal for food. I’m not talking about the evils of Tyson Foods and their kind, where the animals are rushed to market weight, barely seeing the light of day, and led in fear up the ramp to be slaughtered. I’m taking about the traditional agricultural arrangement on small farms, where the animals have some decent years and then are sacrificed for food. When done right they do not fear their end like in the inhumane factory system. No one is going to pay for their old age golden retirement years - they are even moving to push euthanasia on humans in the UK and elsewhere so as not to burden the healthcare system! Let’s not kid ourselves.
So what to do with cows? If they do get a man body next life, as Hinduism believes, than how to juggle this with the following. In the book of stories about Master Rajinder, Flowering of Grace, published in 2000, a lady had a NDE (mentioned earlier in the section “SCRUBBING”) after a cerebral strike, and on an inner plane was made to understand that she had to go back, as being reborn later would be difficult as there were not enough bodies available to incarnate into as people were not having as many children anymore. Actually, the world population increased approximately 1% per year from 2000 to 2020, growing from 6 to 8 billion. The U.S. increased at a similar rate from 280 to 335 million. So there seems like there were plenty of bodies to incarnate into.
This raises some questions. Was her Master really telling her this, or was it her own mind and/or soul speaking to her in a way to convince her that she needed to come back and had work to do? If he really did tell her this, and we believe it is gospel truth, then one must ask, where on earth could the billion cows reincarnate, if there is barely room for the humans wanting new bodies? Or, would they go (some say back) to Sirius or the Pleiades?! Maybe it is time for them to advance to another life wave after thousands of years of domestic human service. But is the myth that cows become humans even reasonable? Wouldn’t becoming an ape be quite an evolutionary advance from a cow, too? Where was the soul of a cow before it is born as a cow? Was it a cow, or a lesser species? Do we even know if there is a pre-existing soul of a cow? We can be vegan and live without cows, but we need to look after their welfare somehow. Do we assume it is okay to breed them to extinction, on the belief cows will advance to a higher destiny and as such merit a special a reward for millennia of noble service and sacrifice to man? This may sound silly, but I’m actually being somewhat serious here. What is the truth? Is this not something to consider?
One problem I see with the argument for breeding cows (or chickens) mostly out of existence, is that some humans say they want to do the same with us. So where does it stop, and do we know what we are doing?
One lesson we might learn from this is that we should not listen to or draw conclusions of fact from other people’s visions!
Again, I see a need to support a more traditional arrangement as a counter to the unhealthy, inhumane corporate system that is in place. At least as a temporary step to a time when man can move to vegetarianism on mass. Do the least harm and also the most good. Sometimes it is necessary to take a step back from purity to advance the general good another step. I don’t think most vegans or vegetarians have considered all these issues.
Simply in terms of ethics, if we want to carry this further, what about buying a leather coat, belt, gloves, or shoes? We can live without leather, can't we? Cowhides are not taken primarily from dead cows off the streets of Calcutta - for which there would be no karma, and perhaps there might even be a blessing - but not so stripped off still-living cows, after taking a gun-bolt to the head and hung upside-down to be blood-drained kosher style, in a factory-farm slaughter house, before being shipped off directly to a tannery.
How much karma is accrued from being complicit in this slaughter by buying such leather goods - not to forget buying an Accord "EX" model with the leather upholstery? Seems to me a lot more than eating a few unfertilized eggs! The only difference one could make is the physical effect on one's cellular structure by putting something into the body. But that is rather slight karma by comparison, isn't it? And what of taking, as mentioned, the many recommended and in many cases required doses of vaccines whose safety testing is minimal - as compared with most drugs, and even cosmetics - and with most of them made from animal organs (cows, sheep, monkeys, humans, pigs), thus contravening the rule against animal products. If one protests and says that this is for medicine so it is O.K., well then, one may well ask, is not taking fish oil pills - or any food taken for health - medicine, too, and without toxic side effects of pharmaceuticals? So where do we draw the line? This turns out to be not so simple a moral issue. My personal feeling is that it is very important for people need to make up their own minds about these things without too much rigidity or righteousness.
Let us be blunt. How righteous or ethical is it to shed crocodile tears and stand against eating eggs, or fish, while supporting political candidates, as many satsangis do, that advocate solely on the basis of personal choice, abortion on demand both up to the time of birth, and in California, even after birth? Most saints and gurus have considered this murder, have they not? But cognitive dissonance holding an entire host of views in place prevents a one by one consideration of each issues, lest the edifice of an entire world-view fall apart and be seen for what it is, and with truth (sacca being the victim. Unfortunately, it seems that satsangis are as liable to this delusion as the ordinary population. Then, why do the Gurus not speak out on this? Kirpal and Charan SIngh certainly did. Has it anything to do with the fact that Beas, for instance, now has special consultative status with the economic and social council of the United Nations - an organization supporting global depopulation efforts - and a post also held by the freemasonic Lucis (formerly Lucifer) Trust - whose finding documents stated one-third of humanity must perish before the Avatar and New World leader would come? Serious satsangis, please think on this. Is kal creeping in on little cat feet, or is this just a matter of gurus, so to speak, expediently following the Godfather''s wisdom, "keep your friends close, but your enemies closer"? That is to say, getting in bed with the devil in hopes of making at least some changes for the good? I would hope the latter is the case, but all must decide this for themselves. [The topic of Kal and evil to be discussed in depth in Part Four].
Birth-Ego-Person
This topic of abortion presents an opportunity to briefly ponder some themes in the spiritual literature on when a person comes into existence. The following are some thoughts on the issue, but are not an attempt at a definite answer to all questions about it.? There is considerable variation in spiritual teachings about when life begins, when the ego develops and when the concept of a separate person arises. This would naturally seem to have an important bearing on the karmic consequences of the practice of abortion, which many people who consider themselves spiritual seekers or practitioners often unquestionably support. Perhaps most respect conventional wisdom that views late term abortion wrong because it is recognized that the fetus is more and more conscious and capable of feeling pain as it matures in the later months. The spiritual masters and all basic religions have always condemned this as murder except in cases of immediate danger to the mother. Some religions say life begins at the moment of conception, while others say no individual life begins until the moment of birth into the physical world.The question of karmic responsibility would seem to lie somewhere between these two.
Some schools of the perennial wisdom says that the conscious entity or ego enters the body in the seventh month associated with the region of the anterior fontanelle. Exactly how this something enters a body, or if a process of incarnation actually happens that way, is not clear. However, we now know of viable births in infants several months premature. Does the conventional wisdom need adjusting to allow the ego to enter the body before the seventh month in these cases, or is the notion of something entering the body itself the wrong understanding of what actually happens? Certainly, in either case, these premature births could not be considered non-conscious or lifeless organisms until they are seven months old!
Many legendary stories exist of spiritual masters being born fully conscious of who they are. Whether these stories are true we do not know. In any case, karma is active at all times and most certainly from the moment of birth. The egoic entity is there but may need some time to distinguish itself from the mother and then its greater surroundings. The ‘I’-thought or ‘I am’ is there. Confusion arises because many non-dual teachers have taught that the ‘person’ does not arise until about the age of two. And a first non-dual realization is often that there is no person, or no separate person. Many have described an awakening to the stark awareness of separation at this age in their lives. Few, however, can remember anything before this time - perhaps even before age four once the brain develops further - except perhaps on a cellular or visceral level through deep regressive therapies. But one is not born at the age of two! Scripture says “I knew you in your mother’s womb.” What is this “you”? The soul, the ego-I, a person? The ego-I is not the person.The living being or soul is most certainly not the person, nor is the soul merely a ‘separate self.’ Some go so far as to suggest that one could live very well if the person never developed or appeared at all, but this is difficult to imagine in a society like ours. Such a development is not wrong and appears inevitable. Certainly it seems that the arisal of an 'I'-thought or an ego-I is inevitable, even if it is to be spiritually transcended after childhood, or when, in Plotinus' terms, the building of the animate is complete. There is karma as long as consciousness is associated with an ego, or a body (gross, subtle, causal). If everything regarding an incarnation is “very carefully arranged,”as has been said, interrupting the process even before self-consciousness of ego-I and personhood arises will have karmic consequences.
Dietary issues continued
But again, the initiate may say, all this is for the world as a whole. As spiritual aspirants we are called to uphold values on the frontline of human development. Are we to revert to the diet of cavemen or primitive hunter-gatherers, because of the arguments of those who advocate the ‘paleo’ diet as being our truest genetically inheritance? I shudder at what such a modern world would look like! Was our remotest past not more like a Garden of Eden than that of the cave? The former is the biblical view, one that Christ also confirmed. That is, at least until the Fall, after which everything changed, including our physical constitution. Animals grew to fear man and each other, even commencing to eat each other. Perhaps our so-called evolution from savagery really began with the decay of humankind at this point, and not millions of years ago from animal species. In any case some have even scientifically argued that the paleo-diet people do not go back far enough, that in fact the first few million years of our primate evolution -assuming there was primate evolution - had us eating much like that of the great apes, with a diet of fruit, shoots and greens - not meat. This is difficult to say. It requires us to believe in a number of things: for one, the Darwinian theory of evolution over millions of years, which has never been conclusively proven. Even neo-Darwinism - evolution at the cellular level - has failed again and again to be proven, and those scientists have moved on to other fields. In fact, Darwin was an atheist, some say Satanist, who admitted his theories were the “devil’s doctrine.” Moreover, he was revered and given a place of honor in Freemasonry, the same dark forces we have been speaking about. We will revert to Scripture on this important topic in a moment after we have finished with some general health comments. But suffice it to say here that the Sant Mat diet, except for permitted dairy products, is the Genesis 1 diet of greens and fruits (and later in Genesis the cultivation of vegetables and grains). We are supposedly trying to get back to the Garden of Eden by such means. Christ, however, also affirmed what was written after Noah, that all foods were now permissible. And wasn't Christ supposed to be a Sant Mat Master? Some books say Jesus Christ (sometimes considered a third-plane adept at Beas, while a full Sant at other times) was a vegetarian, as was his brother James, but a number of scholars say the reference to James as a brother was akin to someone today calling someone ‘bro,’ and only meaning he was a follower of Jesus, not a family member. Other writers, as mentioned, earlier, say since it was the age of Pisces the early Christians baked their bread in the shape of a fish, and did not really eat fish. Jesus told his followers to drink wine in remembrance of him. It certainly looks like he ate fish and even lamb. How could he do that as a Sant Mat master? If so it seems like all masters do not say or do the same thing all the time. After all, if they are free beings, why would one expect them to?
Still, the reader may see the articles "Christian Vegetarianism" by Swami Nirmalanada Giri (Abbot George Burke) for a well-written synopsis of contrary views of the yogis about Jesus and Christianity (https://ocoy.org/original-yoga/vegetarianism/christian-vegetarianism/), as well as Sant Mat researcher James Bean's "Evidence That Jesus and the original Aramaic Christians Were Vegetarians" (https://medium.com/sant-mat-meditation-and-spirituality/evidence-that-jesus-and-the-original-aramaic-christians-were-vegetarians-b8784ac42506) to deepen this conversation.
The following gives an esoteric argument which may settle the fertile-infertile egg issue for those for whom it is still an issue. This regards the experiments of Cleve Backster, the man who first hooked up a plant to a galvanometer and observed that the readings he took corresponded to his own thoughts about the plant:
"Acting on a whim, he [Backster] hooked up an egg to the polygraph. After an hour recording time, Backster was examining a graph of what seemed to be a heartbeat of an embryo chick, three to four days old, the cycles indicating a 170 beat/minute frequency. This egg, though, was non-incubated, unfertilized, fresh from the grocer. Microscopic analysis revealed no physical or circulatory structure which should account for the pulsations. 'Is there,' Backster wonders, 'an "energy form blueprint" providing a rhythm and pattern about which matter coalesces to form organic structures - a force field that [Western] technology hasn’t known to exist? Does the "idea" of an organism precede its material development? Perhaps this is evidence for what the Bible and Plato say:
'In the beginning was the Logos - the structuring principle or thought form of the entity to be.' " (421)
In spite of this indication of archtypal intelligence for 'chickenness' detectable in infertile eggs, the issue of killing is still rather mute. There is no conception, so no possibility of any soul there. Nor, despite a superficial similarity to crocodile teeth appearing during an embryological stage in the development of a chicken, is there any evidence that chickens evolved from reptiles. The theory that "ontology recapitulates phylogeny" has been discredited and, except for a few hold-outs in the institutions of "higher" learning, it is not believed any more by scientists. Equally valid could be the notion that there is the same architect - call it a Logos or a Creator - for all species, and thus, some structural similarities. Daskalos' claim that the original Greek in the Gospel of John reads "In Authority was the Logos" and not "In the beginning" (the word archemeaning both beginning and authority) is worth noting. It all simply remains a great mystery. [This may apply to an experience recorded in the literature numerous times, by Buddha, Papaji, and Adyashanti, that of a visionary recapitulation of all previous lives through all life-forms in the wheel of eighty-four from the amoeba to man. The experience is real, but can we say that it actually proves, or means, that one had all of those lifetimes? It is not so easy to say.
One may be eating something of denser vibration, with some affect, but no conscious entity is killed. So that should be recognized. The karma is likely negligible. But the question of obedience to the Guru is raised and one each person must answer to in his heart. And the question of eating 'lower vibration' food is also there, whether it is true or not, and whether or not in a true non-dualism or incarnational spirituality everything 'lower' should in fact be avoided. After all we do live in a physical body. In Hinduism the lower is avoided out of fear of the soul being tainted, but in Christianity - except for gnostics like Origen, perhaps, and some of their saints and monastics - life is more of a sacrificial and sacramental affair than something to escape from.
But it is surely worth considering whether it might be better supporting these farmers than the unclean and inhumane factory-farm operations, as a step towards a greater good. We can await the second coming of Christ to deal with the New Creation wherein the problem of what to do with the animals is solved forever! In the meantime, the ethics of supporting small, family farmers who raise pastured eggs (chickens raised on pasture, not in cramped cages with 100,000 under one roof never seeing the light of day) and eating only grass and what they find there), for instance, is a practical way for us to stop the much greater evil of corporate commercial egg production. There is no way to also get around the fact that commercial egg production at present often results in the male chicks being slaughtered, with only the females preserved exclusively to pump out eggs constantly until exhaustion, in much the same manner as dairy cows are used to pump out milk nonstop, with their calves taken from them and the males slaughtered. One may question what even pasture-raised chicken farms do with their male chicks, albeit on a much smaller scale than with the cruelty of the mass factory farm operations. It may prove to be impossible to avoid all harm in this fallen world of ours, but here is one theoretical solution.
A new piece of information has come to light, which is the proposal to do "in-ovo" culling of potential male embryos, rather than letting them grow to maturity and hatch, where there is then much more suffering involved. I asked a leading pastured egg firm, Vital Farms, about this problem and this was there response. In my opinion in the big picture it is worth supporting:
"Our farmers don’t raise their own birds, instead they purchase their pullets (teenage hens) from suppliers with the highest standards of animal welfare. But the culling of male chicks is an issue in the egg industry that we are well aware of. We have recently gotten word about a global initiative, led by Unilever, saying that they are committed to funding research that would bring in-ovo sexing to the egg industry, and Vital Farms is doing everything we can to help with this endeavor. Our chief eggsecutive officer recently spoke with the folks at Unilever and told them we were willing to pay twice the price that we currently pay for our chicks, to help fund research. This in-ovo sexing could potentially eliminate the culling of male chicks, and we are very hopeful. We will continue to share on our social media outlets when there are any updates. The truth is that it is not economically viable to breed our own hens, and raise the roosters as well. The feed that we need to provide them is one of the most significant expenses, one which is offset by the revenue from the eggs. Take away that revenue (roosters cannot lay eggs) and it can quickly become very expensive, in addition to all the extra land that our farmers would need to keep these extra chickens on. Bear in mind that most of our producers are small, family-owned farms who make an honest, but not lucrative living from this ethical and humane method of farming. They would simply not be able to do that if they had to raise roosters. I hope that clears things up for you. Please let me know if you have any more questions or concerns regarding our eggs, sincerely, xxxxxxxx"
One unanswered question is: “If we simply breed chickens out of existence, in the interest of preventing all possible suffering, where do they go?” Does anyone really know? Would we be doing them a favor by automatically advancing them to the next order of life, that of the mammals? No sage has affirmatively put forth the argument that animals definitely reincarnate into the next higher species. Paul Brunton suggested that was recompense for the manner of their death, which is often that of being eaten by other animals. If that were the case, however, wouldn't we also be doing them a favor by ritually sacrificing and eating them? The fact is we don't know what happens when they die, what their line of evolution or transmigration is, if any. Opinions among sages and deep philosophers vary.
Another issue sometimes raised is that, if one conceives the spiritual goal not as one of exclusive yogic ascent to higher planes, but also of the integrating and grounding of those realizations in this plane, then the argument of being exclusively vegetarian for the 'higher vibrations' in such foods comes under scrutiny. It is evident to me after forty years of observations in the therapeutic and healthcare communities that some people have had serious problems with a strict vegetarian diet long-term, in terms of mineral and vitamin deficiencies and various diseases and ailments, not the least of which are mood disorders in a highly stressful society, and do better with consumption of small amounts of animal products. Many vegetarian diets are low in zinc - the "intelligence" mineral, important for the brain and nervous system - and Vit A - which works with Vitamin D to support the immune system. It is impossible to get real Vit A from plant sources. It may be argued that many of these people adopted a poor version of a healthy vegetarian diet, and that may be so in many cases. On the other hand, our soils are nutrient-poor, and proper supplementation is needed, even more so for vegetarians. Another major nutrient always is B12. Most resources maintain it can only be gotten from animal sources. We can, however, get B12 from nutritional yeast, which works great added to a shake. Some Japanese monks have reported synthesizing B12 in their gut, even when only eating brown rice and miso. But to be on the safe side a supplement can be taken. Most of the B vitamins in pills come from yeast anyway.
The "paneer" in the Indian diet supplies some of the nutrients that vegans may lack. An argument goes that some people may already be too 'light' in vibration, and unbalanced, and thus need such foods, so far as their current physical evolution is concerned; and there may also be a genetic requirement. If so this does not seem to me to be an admission of the legitimizing of animal suffering for our (humans) sake, but rather one of valuing the human body and its health for spiritual purposes. This need not demand a large investment in such foods. A primary practical ethical goal of eliminating large, cruel, factory farming operations by supporting the small family farmers is something to consider as perhaps more viable than holding out for total vegetarian purity, at least for now.
This is part of a general consideration of whether It is important to be capable of discerning and choosing between the ideal (how things ideally should be) and the optimal (the best things can be now and looking forward), which can help us shift to what is actually possible in new and relieving ways - thus reframing old interpretations and reactions about events, ourselves, other people, the world, God, and discerning what can increase both the resilience and peace for all. This is essentially the way of the bodhisattva, the true Christian, the true Sikh. For instance, how can there ever be a union of world religions, for instance, with each still believing strictly in the non-essentials of faith?
Once a hen reaches 6 months of age, she begins to lay eggs almost every day and she can do so without having to mate. These eggs are unfertilised and therefore are not capable of turning into lifeforms. Eggs contain three parts - the yolk, the whites (albumen) and the shell. The egg whites are completely vegetarian and have absolutely no animal cells present in them. The egg whites are the suspension of the protein albumen in water. So egg whites and all products containing eggs whites are entirely vegetarian. How are eggs nonvegetarian? The yolks, the yellow part of the eggs, are mostly veg and are considered just suspension of cholesterol, fat and protein in water but these cells cannot be separated from the gamete (reproductive cells) cells. This means that the egg yolks are non-veg. Besides, while most of our eggs are unfertilised there are still fertilised one that people sell in the markets. There’s no way for us to tell, right? Actually, you just find out whether your egg is vegetarian or nonvegetarian by just cracking open the egg. If you see a white circle on it, in the shape of a “bulls eye”, which is basically a small white circle followed by another white ring, it is a fertilised egg. If not, it is unfertilised. But there is little chance an egg you get is capable of actually producing life. And it is certainly not meat, with the blood thereof, which was a restriction in the ancient middle eastern faiths. So the major issue with eggs as far as Sant Mat teachings are concerned has to do with their place in the scale of the Hindu theory of the five elements - to be discussed shortly.
Some Masters have put forth an additional argument that - while rejecting fertile eggs because of their potential for life - infertile eggs are lifeless or sterile, barren of fecundity, and even 'putrid matter of no consequence', and on this basis to be avoided. With all due respect to the Masters who spoke like this a century or more ago, this is contradicted not only by the above reference to galvanometric studies, but also current health research. What is the benefit of invoking a category of 'sterility'? A head of uncooked broccoli placed in the ground will not grow, rather it will decompose; therefore, it is sterile. It does have live enzymes in it, as do all raw foods, but it is definitely sterile. Cooked grains will not grow, so they, too, are sterile. Pasteurized milk is dead and denatured, a health hazard and a far cry from raw milk which has health benefits, especially in cultured form such as yogurt of cheese. Technically, however, it is sterile. Eggs may be sterile but they are a condensed food-source containing valuable protein and other important nutrients. The average life-span in India is 67 and in Japan it is 84, where the average person eats 320 eggs per year!
Sattvic/unsattvic; Health issues never faced by Kabir or Nanak; Prophet Mohammed’s advice
The argument often raised about eggs, etc., raising passions, is, of course, the standard old yogic message about creating 'heat' in the body. No doubt it has an effect, particularly in those who eat grossly, i.e., egg-McMuffins, bacon and eggs for breakfast, burger for lunch, steak for dinner, and so on, who are toxic, and perhaps also especially toxic from repetitive lustful thoughts and entertainment. But, once again, a few pasture-raised egg will not do much to make a spiritually inclined person lustful, except maybe in scattered groups of ascetic yogis living on greens and root vegetables! The main culprit is in the mind, the mental attitude. Yes, maybe it can be the quantity of food pressing on the lower bodily organs which stimulates those drives! And perhaps more for young people. Older questers have by and large had lust burnt out of them by now, if any kind of real sadhana has been done at all. "Do not worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you," said comedian Joey Adams! Even better was Bob Hope who joked, "People tell me that senior sex is great. Yes, I particularly like the one in the fall." All kidding aside, with all of our limitations, keeping body and mind sound is more important at this stage than living up to a standard of righteousness to the 'nth' degree, again in my opinion. Some people for the sake of their mental and physical well-being and overall equanimity may need a diet with currently unacceptable items.
But, we also have to remember that the yogis put garlic and onions in that unsattvic category, too. And personally, I have never found a few onions in my salad or stir-fry to stimulate one lusty thought. Now, again, for a traditional yogi renunciate (if there are any of them left) doing contemplation 24 hours a day, eating scantily, maybe they did have an influence. In the West, however, onions have long been recognized as blood-purifiers, and garlic as anti-bacterial/anti-viral. Apparently this was not known among the ancient yogis, as are many modern discoveries.
The standard India 'sattvic' diet, imo also, can be very rajasic and especially tamasic. Anyone who has eaten a lunch buffet at an Indian restaurant knows they want a 2-hour nap after eating that oily, fried concoction of permissable 'sattvic' foods! Most Indian food (certainly the packaged kinds) is very high in polyunsaturated (omega-6) and oils, now considered to be one of the biggest dangers to our health. And even Sant Rajinder Singh confessed to living on many 'grilled cheese sandwiches' for some years to stay within the dietary guidelines when he was making his way in the United States as a student and engineer. Me, too! With all due respect, and I am sure he would agree, that is not particularly sattvic food. The concept of what is sattvic in its effect is one requiring serious thought.
Obeying one's guru one hundred percent has often has been a cardinal principle of spirituality. Yet today one can not get away from the need to develop and use his or her own innate intelligence. Commandments as such are relative and subject to change. For example, they considered making veganism a rule in Naperville (center for Sant Rajinder Singh). The reasoning, which I am partly in sympathy with, is because in major industrial countries, the dairy industry, like the meat and poultry business, is cruel and inhumane. Best case is that cows must be kept pregnant perpetually in order to give milk, and their calves are taken away and sold for slaughter. So unless one gets his milk from the small-time farmer next door, as many do, or used to do, in India (and where, traditionally, the male cows were allowed to roam freely - instead of being slaughtered as in the western milk industry), one is complicit in this killing. Personally, I sometimes have a problem with this whenever I think of eating some yogurt or cheese. In addition, in many industrial operations blood and other substances are actually fed directly to cows! Checkout the animated feature, "The Meatrix" (http://www.themeatrix.com/), and be prepared to be grossed out. Pasteurization [i.e., killing germs by heating, not to be confused with raising animals in fields of grass] and homogenization are also unhealthy practices in that they denature and make milk less healthy for a number of reasons, and should be considered by an inquiring person. Unfortunately, the same unnatural milk goes into most cheeses as well. Raw is definitely better, but has been demonized by a zealous FDA even though raw dairy farms are much cleaner than large conventional dairy operations with statistically far fewer cases of infection from their products. It is definitely a challenge to eat healthily. Overheating eggs is said to denature the lecithin in the yolks which keeps cholesterol from being harmful. And moreover, we have we been scammed by a cholesterol myth. Inflammation is the culprit, not dietary cholesterol. The brain is mostly made of cholesterol, after all. Even though the body makes most of our cholesterol, in inverse ratio to the amount consumed in the diet, people on low cholesterol diets often have lower energy and a greater tendency towards cancer, depression, violent behavior and suicide. Many people worldwide are just not adapted to veganism at this stage of their development, and this proposed condition will probably not be required for initiation any time soon.
Saturated fat has been demonized ever since one Ancel Keys declared it so in the 1950's, making everyone switch to margarine and the 'food pyramid' to change to four servings of grains per day as the most important nutrient for man, but as of the 1990's even he declared his finding to be totally false and with no basis whatsoever. Yet the medical establishment ignores the truth and keeps promoting the tired line about how bad fat is for you. So in addition I also eat some raw cheese and grass-fed butter. In addition to the unnatural vegetable oils, sugar from excess carbohydrates (including especially, since the 1980's, high fructose corn syrup - due to the efforts of the corn lobby) causes obesity, systemic inflammation, and increased risk of almost every major disease. Whole grains and beans/nuts/legumes/seeds are fine in moderate portions, especially if one exercises. Almost anything works if one exercises and eats a bit less! In this way insulin resistance also will not develop.
The topic of fish oil and its importance needs attention. I suspect the fish oil on Kirpal's nightstand was cod liver oil, which is great for the immune system with its natural Vit A, which compliments the all-important Vit D. This is different from the current hype for taking lots of fish oil for its omega-3 content. This push has largely been because of the over-proportion of omega-6 oil to omega-3 in the SAD (Standard American Diet of processed and cooked foods). Anywhere up to 16:1 in favor of omega-6, instead of an optimum and traditional 2:1 or even 1:1. This is one of the most critical - and most easily remedied - factors in chronic disease. The introduction of seed-oils into our diet began in 1866 when Proctor and Gamble invented the process of hydrogenating seed oils to convert unusable cotton seeds into a synthetic seed oil named Crisco. Since then hydrogenation has been used on many seed oils such as corn, soy, and now, a favorite healthstore scam, canola oil. Until then people only got these omega-6 oils in small quantities naturally found in grains, seeds and nuts. In 1865 Seed-oil consumption increased from 2 gm/day in 1865 to 29 gm/day in 2008. The worst of these - 60% to 80% of omega-6 oil content - is linoleic acid (LA), because of its disastrous effects on cellular and mitochondrial function. If you want to give lab animals cancer the quickest way is to feed them omega-6 oils. Even a standard vegetarian diet of cooked food is still imbalanced in this respect. Linoleic acid is found in great amounts in processed foods, chips, breads, pasta and restaurant food cooked in vegetable oil. All seed oils and are pro-inflammatory, with canola (aka rapeseed) oil only a little less so - approximately 19% LA by content as contrasted with 50% in safflower, corn, and soy.
To summarize, As a general rule, vegetable and seed oils are high in PUFAs - polyunsaturated fatty acids - and low in saturated fats while animal fats are the converse. Saturated and monounsaturated fats are more easily used by your body than PUFAs, hence animal fats (lard, butter, ghee) are generally healthier than seed oils. In Eastern cultures saturated vegetable fats like coconut and palm oil were used.
While there is a plant-based omega-3 oil - ALA, research has shown that when you have a large amount of LA in your diet, an enzyme called delta-desaturase - which converts the plant-based omega-3 fat, ALA, to the long-chain fats DHA and EPA- is inhibited. So, consuming high amounts of LA increases your dependence on sea food as a source of preformed EPA and DHA. This is important, as DHA and EPA are indeed essential and provide a wide range of health benefits. One of the most important benefits of DHA is lowering inflammation, which is a factor in most chronic and degenerative diseases. EPA, meanwhile, is important for heart and cardiovascular health
Therefore, for anyone eating the SAD or even conventional vegetarian, wild salmon, grass-fed meat, pasture-raised eggs, grass-fed butter, and fish oils have health benefits (forgetting the issue of karma for now). Omega-3's from fish oils are basically anti-inflammatory, anti-clotting, etc., so they balance the omega-6's. But only to some degree, for it is important to realize that they, too, are also PUFA's and lack some of the known health benefits of saturated fatty acids, saturated and mono-saturated fats being the preferred fats for the body. Thus the Indian dietary use of ghee is superior to even olive oil for cooking, as it does not break down in high heat, but the modern addition of lots of safflower and other omega-six oils in their dishes is not good.
Unfortunately, then, even the centuries-old standard Indian diet, when transferred to the fast-paced Western culture, in terms of prepackaged meals of dahl and other pulses, are loaded with health-negative omega-6 seed oils - perhaps the worst food item in our diet. Unless one can afford having an Indian wife or husband at home cooking with ghee, adaptations and substitutions have to be made. [Or perhaps a grandmother, as many Indian wives these days work for tech companies]. Both Amy's and Nature's Path, two satsangi food companies, no doubt due to scruples over eggs, use these oils - even soy oil - in their products. Is this worth it? Soybean oil contains unacceptable high levels of omega-6 polyunsaturated fatty acids. Studies associate their consumption with cancer and other metabolic diseases like diabetes, while saturated fats may offer protection. Soybean oil affects the hypothalamus, disrupting over 100 genes, including those regulating body weight and hormone production, and also contributes to genetic changes in the brain that could lead to conditions like Alzheimer’s disease. Further, the modified soy protein left over after processing that is used for popular meat substitutes is not healthy and may not be a fair exchange for the hypothetical karma saved..
One additional argument often given for the need for omega-3 supplementation from fish is that vegetable sources of omega-3 oil in the form of ALA is inefficiently converted to the readily usable DHA and EPA, which occur in fish and krill. However, again, if one eats avoids seed oils as much as possible, then the balance of omega-6 to omega-3 is much smaller, and the theoretical need for omega-3 decreases dramatically. However (there is always a 'however'), some research argues that the bodily conversion of ALA not only steadily decreases with age, and is not efficient enough to satisfy a current species-level deficiency of omega-3's in many people. We today know (or think we know) more about human biology and genetics than previous generations. Many studies have shown that omega-3 oils EPA and DHA are of major importance to the health of the brain and nervous system (30-50% of their fat composition), significantly decrease depression and other mental disorders, anger, aggression, heart disease and cancer. And we also face assaults upon our health from food and agricultural corporations that were never faced in the days of Nanak and Kabir. So one may ask, once again, for those in severe imbalance who need it, is it worth the 'karma' of ingesting such a nutrient, perhaps only for a limited period of time, if it dramatically increases the health and equanimity of the precious human form, lessening anger and negative moods, not merely personally but culture-wide, thus increasing the quality not only of life but of spiritual practice? Again, if only for a finite period of time, for rebalancing and healing purposes? This is something to give serious time thinking over. Kirpal may or may not have used the fish oil, but if he did, it does not follow, in my opinion, that we must rationalize that he was a special case, and we may not make that choice also, out of altruistic purposes and not mere appetite. Perhaps he did take it but could not openly recommend out of concern for disturbing the faith of long-time initiates. Think hard and research this matter - without threat of hell or damnation, for such is a childish approach to life.
Cain the first self-righteous vegetarian
It might also be added, the first dishonest, making excuses, projecting and blaming other people for ones own shortcomings, individual in history?! For whatever reasons, in Genesis 4:1-18 we read that Cain, a tiller of the fields, slew his brother Abel, tender of sheep. Thus, Cain worked with agriculture and Abel with livestock. Cain's became upset as his sacrifice of his produce were not as pleasing to God as Abel's animal sacrifice. We are not told exactly why, perhaps it was because he didn't work as hard as his brother, for God told him, "Why are you angry, and why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will you not be accepted?" Cain saw his brother's blessing from God, and likely felt himself a victim, inferior to Abel, and slew him to regain a feeling of superiority, as well as his brother's goods which would now be his. He denied killing him but the blood was on the ground for God to see. For this crime he was banished and a mark put on him by God. A mark we are told, however, was not to further punish him, but to warn everyone else not to kill Cain lest they suffer a "sevenfold vengeance." Something to ponder here.
Our (non-medical) advice is to take responsibility for freedom, and experiment with your own body, for that is how we learn what it needs. Try and see. You are the expert. For many times, however, simply eating smaller portions of quality food, no matter what the particular form of diet, has perhaps the greatest effect, with the least effort and concern, on one's overall health and energy level. And, in fact, Sant Kirpal wrote about it long ago, and apparently Prophet Mohammed before him:
"The stomach should remain partly empty. Let half of the stomach be full with food, one fourth with water and let one fourth remain vacant, so that digestion will not be difficult…Eat when you really feel hungry, not every time putting in something. Two meals a day are enough, though you may have a little breakfast in the morning. Sometimes the Masters say that those who would like to progress more should have only one meal a day. Let the stomach remain partly empty. If you put more food in it than can be digested, naturally the things which are not digested will create disease. Eat as much as you can digest. Give some rest to your poor stomach. It takes at least four or five hours to digest anything. If you each too much too often, your stomach will revolt...The servant who is engaged to work 24 hours will revolt...If you take food at 8 am, then 12 am, then 4 pm, then 8 pm, your stomach will have no time to rest...If you eat more than be digested the result is that you cannot sit, you cannot think clearly, you cannot devote time, you feel lazy. So simple living, simple diet and high thinking is what is wanted. You should eat only what is really a necessity. Do not over feed...Once it so happened that Prophet Mohammed had forty followers. One doctor attached himself to them, so that if anyone fell sick, he would give him some medicine. For six months the doctor remained with them but nobody fell ill. Then he came to the Prophet and said, "Well, nobody has fallen sick, so there is no use in my being here." Prophet Mohammed told him, "Well look here, so long as they follow my behests, they will not be ill. I tell them to take one morsel less than they really feel like, not to have a full diet, to eat a little less, so that when they leave the table, they are still a little hungry. I tell them to eat twice a day and during the day they should work hard. They should also do their meditations. if they follow these behests, nobody will fall sick." (422)
But sometimes, let's face it, no matter what we do we may get sick, and can only surmise that karma is a factor.
What are the full moral implications here?
We will briefly summarize some scriptural differences between the approaches of East and West, discussed in greater detail in the section “Evolutionary Enigmas” and “The Fall” in Part Four. For those interested in a broader consideration of this topic on diet might want to skip the next hundred or two pages and read those portions now also.
The Bible says, in Genesis, that prior to the Fall of man, the diet for all things living upon the earth was to be green plants and fruit. This was for all animals, including those which later became carnivores. After the Fall, for man, the Genesis 1 diet now included allowable dairy products. At this time man took care of his animal stock. Only after the Flood did he begin eating them, too, and at this time Noah is also said to have been the first tiller of the soil.
No mention was made in the Bible of the diet for creatures living in the waters. Fish obviously did not know a time when they obeyed man or came to fear him. So apparently they never knew a time when they didn’t eat each other for food. Nor is there any mention of them not being allowed for man to eat. The oceans were not an issue for man when in the Garden of Eden, nor apparently afterwards either, on which Genesis was silent. Only later in Leviticus were rules established such as not to eat seafood without scales. The general thrust of the Scriptures was what to eat or not eat on earth, not in the oceans.
The Orthodox monks on Mt. Athos are concerned with getting back to the pre-Fall state where the nature of man was less physical, knowing no passions, sexual desires, needing no sleep, having no tears, and (at first) needing no food. They reach that the Bible clearly states that man was created incorruptible, and did not descend from the apes, although after the Fall they certainly degenerated and took on less than fully human characteristics as they had when first created. Anyway, this seems to the basic reasoning for their extreme asceticism and “Genesis 1” diet. Even though the Christian belief is that only with Christ’s return and the general Resurrection will man’s original incorruptible body be restored to him, they strive to return to that state as much as possible before then. The course laid out for general non-monastic Christians (and even non-Orthodox monastics) is less strict and goes by the looser standards for mankind after Noah, and also as written in the Gospels that “all foods are now permissible" or "clean.”
Kirpal Singh reflects some of this:
"The ancients [presumably post-Flood man] knew well that man, bird, and animal were all bound up with the same Karmic bond. Man with the thought of common brotherhood worked hard both for himself and for his pets. He tilled the land, grew fruits, and produced food both for himself, his bird friends, and his kine and oxen. But in course of time he first preyed upon the animals' milk and then upon their flesh as well...The milking of dairy cattle was permissible only after the cows were bred and treated with extra care, and sufficient milk was left in their udders for feeding their own off-spring, the calf. This residue of milk was allowed to man under special circumstance. This special rule was intended to prevent degeneration of the early civilization." (423)
While he was speaking of Indian civilization, the interesting phrase here is: "Man worked hard both for himself and for his pets." Cows and cattle were considered as pets on this view. And presumably they were only raised initially to help man with his work in the fields, and only later for their milk and later still for meat. The implication is somewhat different from the Biblical view where man had dominion over the domestic animals and didn't consider them as "pets".
Ramana Maharshi shared Kirpal's views both on eggs and the use of the excess milk of the mother cows:
"M: The domesticated cows yield more milk than necessary for their calves and they find it a pleasure to be relieved of the milk."
D: But the hen cannot contain the eggs?
M: But there are potential lives in them....Food influences the mind and it must be kept pure. (424)
Ramana was likely speaking to a Brahman in this instance. They had special attention in his ashram, where caste distinctions were to some degree observed, but with many others he made little mention of what to eat or not eat.
The same problems remain, however: what to do with the male cows and all of the chickens? Ramana spoke of 'domesticated' cows as if there were an 'undomesticated' variety. But is there, and was there ever, such a type? He was also speaking from rural India of a century ago. Where would the cows or the chickens there or elsewhere live today if they were set free to live on their own?
We've come a long way from this
Kirpal then rightly condemns what in his purview at the time were the rudimentary forms of factory farming:
“The only consideration of man, today, is to obtain as much milk as possible even at the cost of the calves themselves. In some places, he throws them in boiling water immediately after they are born, and applies milking machines to the udders to draw out the last drop of milk to keep pace with trade competition and profit-making.” (425)
Of course, it is much worse now. He then concludes:
“Our budding reformers of today thrust such trade and practices on man instead of improving agriculture and rearing and developing livestock, both of which are harmless pursuits and could relieve the pressure of want so much talked about today. (426)
But it must be asked, even in an improved form, are these really “harmless pursuits”? Even in a small family dairy farm, the majority of male calves must be gotten rid of, as they serve no economic purpose to the farmer. Even a poor Hindu peasant with only one milk cow is still implicit in killing by buying it from another farmer or rancher who does in one way or another sacrifice the males, whether calf or full-grown. India is a unique country where cows have been sacred, for millennia, and there are fines and jail sentences for killing them - the most extreme being in the north, such as in New Delhi. But a strange peace has been made with reality, and it is okay to sell the unwanted cows to other countries to do with them whatever they wish.
There is no need for 500 male cows to make 500 female cows pregnant, a few would suffice. And it must be remembered that a cow must be perpetually made pregnant to produce milk. So unless you are an independently wealthy gentleman farmer who has space for all cows born male or female to live out their lives contentedly grazing on green pastures, as if in their own paradise, there is no way to avoid some necessary sacrifice of life. And just as was discussed about the fate of chickens, the only way to avoid killing, except perhaps for a few cows kept in zoos or on a sanctuary, seems to be to breed all cows out of existence. Is this our current duty in having the biblical authority of dominion over the animals? [Some 'kal'-oriented elites who think this is not a bad idea are also in favor of culling the human 'herd' to 500 million or one billion as well] Are we then doing the cows a favor, advancing them to another, higher species of life? Some teachers actually say cows become human in their next incarnation. Again, who can say with any certitude? Or are we better just trying to do the least unnecessary harm, by supporting human animal husbandry, recognizing that no one gets out of here alive and some killing is unavoidable? To me this is not hair-splitting about finding excuses not to adhere to a proscribed diet, but a real ethical problem needing to be grappled with. With all this in mind, then, was the following written by my beloved Master not a little too extreme of a statement - regarding diet - for sincere seekers going forward at this time in human history?
“Whither is man moving headlong? Is he not standing on the brink of a terrific precipice with an extremely sharp declivity, ready to topple down at any moment? He has, by his conduct, exposed himself recklessly to chance winds of Nature’s vengeance. Hourly he stands in danger of being swept to the deepest depths of physical and moral annihilation.” (427)
No doubt this is an indictment of humanity and its materialistic strife and warring ways as a whole, but one may ask,"all this for for eating an egg?"
I trust the reader will not feel I am singling out Kirpal Singh here; in our opinion this is but one more example of 'scare stories' that Masters in times past have employed to motivate their disciples and general readers as a whole. The question is whether this is still useful or necessary for sincere seekers today. Not only do we have much more knowledge of nutrition than we did in times past, especially in pre-internet days, but being on the cusp of the Aquarian age the emphasis is moving towards self-knowledge more than belief, and the individual needs to experiment and find out what is true within his or her own body-mind as well as their soul.
The Christian view is not uniform: there are ascetics, monks, and varying degrees of fasting days and dietary restraints, but the central doctrine is in essence a mutually sacrificial and sacramental one. The Sant Mat and general Hindu worldview, on the other hand, with a different teaching on the “Fall”, is at root a gnostic one of avoiding any taint with matter and to accrue as little karma as possible in order to make a clean escape from this fallen realm. It shares the concern with yogis and the monks of Mt. Athos in eating foods with the least property of inflaming passions, but that is secondary to eating only foods with the least amount of the five elements in them. For this is the big consideration lurking behind all of the rules on what one should eat on the Path:
The Hindu theory of the five elements and the minimizing of dietary karmas: is it at least partly fear-based?
Kirpal Singh wrote:
“Nature has one other propelling wheel working in this material world; the law of Evolution. It provides that all living beings pass from one position to another. As they travel from one order of creation to the next higher, each being has a separate value from the lower one. The basis of determining the face value as well as the intrinsic value is matter and intellect, the more valuable the constituents of matter, present in a being in prominent form, the more the intellect and more the value of the being.”
“The man’s body, with all the five tattwas (or creative and component elements: Earth, Water, Fire, Air, and Ether) in full activity is valued the most. This is why he tops the list of beings in creation and is considered next to God - his Creator. Man’s killing of his fellow creatures is considered as the most heinous of crimes, which merits capital punishment or the death penalty. Next in value is placed quadrupeds and beasts having four tattwas in active operation in them, the fifth, ether, being almost absent or forming a negligent portion. The wanton killing of another’s animal, therefore, entails a penalty equivalent to the price of the animal in question. Then comes the place of birds, with three active elements in them, viz. water, fire and air and hence are considered of a nominal value. Lesser still is the value placed on creatures who have two elements active - viz. earth and fire - and the other three existing in a dormant form as in reptiles, worms and insects, which are killed and trampled without the least compunction as no penalty attaches to their case. Least value is placed on roots, vegetables, and fruits in which the element of water alone is active and predominates, while the remaining four elements are altogether in a dormant state. Thus, karmically considered, vegetarian and fruitarian diet, in fact, constitutes the least pain-producing diet, and man, by partaking of these, contracts the least karmic debt.” (428:)
Much can be said of this, and as will be discussed later in the aforementioned sections in Part Four, this theory relies heavily on the “law” of evolution. Examined from many angles, this is yet a scientific theory, not a law. It is entirely rejected by the Orthodox Fathers based on their interpretation of the biblical account in Genesis, but generally assumed as valid by Hinduism and eastern mystical schools. Vivekananda, Brunton, Aurobindo, and all theosophists believed in some version of it. Anyone indoctrinated with Western schooling has an almost unconscious acceptance of it, even though according to even its own science it has never been proven. But even assuming it is true, in a spiritual if not material sense, what pain is produced by eating an egg, per se? And are not some of the elements in a chicken only dormant in an egg? And it most certainly has no conscious life to enable it to feel pain. I am only guessing, but maybe the elements of fire and air are dormant, with only water active. One thing we can say with assurance, eating an egg (even if the principle of a higher life than a plant is in it) must be far less negative karmically than a human abortion - or even merely supporting abortion - the fertilized human egg being many orders higher on the karmic scale than that of a chicken. Yet many apparently do not see it that way and fret more over a little egg in their food than ending the life of a potential human being.
Just as an aside, I wondered what elements are present in snails - are they earth and fire, as stated above for the worms? What about fish, which wasn’t mentioned? Would they be earth, water and fire? Or how about flying bugs, which certain billionaires want us to eat - would they be 'earth, wind, and fire'? [Thats a '70's joke]. Locusts are considered less than birds on a scale of evolution, so the element 'air' does not have a direction connection to the ability to fly but more to one of breathing air with lungs.
Also of interest is a Master here acknowledging the high value of the intellect on the scale of things, insofar as intellect is often frowned upon on the path as getting in the way of the spirit. Wherein here it is affirmed that the glory of man - manas - is truly that he is a thinking being, higher than the animals.
A greater moral view must encompass, in our opinion, the fact that there is evil in this world, and presently manipulating not only the money supply, but food, farming, and our health as well. At such times scrupulously being squeaky clean and puritanical can be superseded by standing for a lesser evil over a greater one in the interests of the whole and not merely our own inner spiritual life. A robust human physical body ("the Crown of Creation"), the maintaining of basic human freedoms and the sacrifices that may require, are necessary to support spiritual practice for more than a few in a world like ours. Does anyone think that Bill Gates, for instance, is thinking of the theory of the five elements and worrying about our individual karma when he came up with plans for switching us from meat-eating to bugs?! Sounds like a good thing, right? Bugs only having two - or three - elements must be better for our spiritual health. Somehow I don't think that is in the plan.
One question to present here as an introduction to the section on “Evolution” in Part Four, is “Where does evolution fit in with the Sant Mat teaching that “in the beginning souls were sent down from Sach Khand to check out the new lower creation”? Were we, already spiritual, ‘tricked’ into coming down to start out evolution as an 'amoeba' [but who in fact would ever choose that?!], or were the animals and all of creation already made for man as the Bible maintains, as well as a body into which he might enter? And where did that man-body come from originally? All of this will have a bearing on how one not only views the theory of the five elements but how much weight one gives to it, what to speak of how one views the spiritual path and goal.
A very basic, intimate question an individual initiate might rightly ask is: "Is God or the Master - even if one believes that he knows all - keeping score of ones every move, every so-called dietary infraction, or does he read the Heart?” Could one even live a healthy life, mentally and physically, in fear of such a threat? Moreover, one might as well ask, if spirituality is a "science," as it is often likened to on such mystic paths, and science being a set of hypotheses to be proven and not just believed, is there any proof, or way to prove or disprove, that eating any animal products whatsoever and for whatever reason accrues to one binding negative karma?
Finally, if we are not meant or suited for an ascetic, yogic lifestyle, as some maintain, is the Genesis 1 diet universally suitable, even for initiates? Certainly, if one is living an actively ascended life, this may be easier to do, but if one is living a more descended, incarnational, embodied non-dual existence, concerned with “low-T" and other health conditions, certain dietary modifications may be warranted. Further, are we to be gnostics utterly untainted by contact with matter and the flesh? But then, these are my own questions and opinions.
Sawan Singh also taught this theory. With some repetition this also allows us to add a few angles to this discussion. The purpose of my comments and questions is not to irritate the reader, or insult the Guru, but to make the point that no one really seems to know for sure the answers to all these matters. Sawan wrote in a series of quotes to follow:
“A human being cannot comprehend the existence of God and His creation until he has succeeded in getting his soul free from the bondage of the five Tattwas, the twenty-five Prakritis, the three Gunas, Maya and Mind - all of which are enveloping it here - until he has emancipated his soul from every one of these errors and taken it beyond the sphere of mind and intellect, and opened his internal vision. Only then is the soul able to know itself and understand what it is made of. After that, it becomes fit to seek its Creator and to find out the ocean from which it originally descended, as well as the means to regain it. Consequently, before a disciple has succeeded in getting rid of these chains, it shall be sufficient for him to know that this world can be divided into two parts, land and water.”
With all due respect, this sounds somewhat condescending, i.e., “until you are enlightened this shall be sufficient for you to understand.” Modern seekers want enlightenment and understanding now, not after fifty years of practices or after death! No doubt Sawan was addressing a simple and semi-literate audience, but this approach is not good enough anymore.
A few questions come to mind. Were the animals created - like man - or was there evolution? If they were created, what was their purpose, and man's relationship to them?
“On reaching Par-Brahm, all the material, astral, and causative coverings of mind and matter that envelope the soul are removed. Then the soul is pure spirit. This is self-realization. Here there is no form, no cover, no shape, no youth nor old age - only the soul, shining in its pure radiance - a drop of existence, knowledge, and bliss, capable of comprehending the Great Ocean, its Creator. Now the drop tries to reach and mingle with the Ocean."
Sawan seems to say that only souls were created (by the Ocean - the Creator). Who then created man and the animals - Kal?
“The creatures of water live upon each other. Nature has not provided them with any other means of subsistence. Big fish are eating the little ones, etc.”
Is this true? The Bible in Genesis does not specify any diet for creatures living in water, in fact it doesn't mention life under the sea, but what about sea vegetables? Don't some sea creatures eat those? Nor does the Bible say anything about what man can or cannot eat from the oceans, nor are fish mentioned in discussions of the theory of five elements.
“The same holds true of the land. Lions and tigers eat up wolves and jackals. The latter subsist on the meat of sheep, goats, etc. They, in turn, eat plants. Hawks eat smaller birds. Birds eat insects, and men eat most every form of life, so far as climate and special circumstances of their own countries permit."
The Bible does say that before the Fall the diet for all land animals was plants. After the Fall of Adam and Eve all creation fell, too, and some animals took to eating other ones. Lions and tigers don’t eat wolves and jackals, however, they eat herbivores:
"Lions primarily target large herbivores such as zebras, wildebeest, and buffalo, which are abundant in the savannahs. On the other hand, tigers adapt to a wider range of prey, including deer, wild boar, and even smaller mammals like monkeys and birds, which thrive in the forests of their habitat." (internet blog post)
“Every grain, every plant, has life in it. Hindu philosophy has acknowledged this fact since very ancient times. Dr. Bose has demonstrated this fact to the European world by his experiments, showing that plants feel and breathe, and have souls.”
Souls? What does he mean by this? The light, or mind, which Yog-Vashista says is behind every particle of dust? The Middle Eastern religions, on the contrary, say only man has a soul.
“If a ray of light is allowed to penetrate a dark room, the microscope reveals numberless germs floating in the air of that room. The whole room seems to be full of this germ life. When we breathe, these tiny creatures go inside of us and die. When we walk, numberless creatures are killed by contact with us, and countless others are crushed beneath our feet. The same is true when we drink water. The microscope reveals myriads of tiny creatures in a tumbler of water; and these we drink to their death every day. Souls would appear to be literally packed together in all space in our world. If we put down a needle point on the earth, countless germs may be found beneath its point.”
This is why Jains wear masks.
“And so, in our world, life is everywhere destroying life. In such a world where one creature is eating up another, it is impossible to expect either justice or peace of mind. (There is no rest or security anymore)."
Anymore? Is he saying there was a time when there was rest and security here? The Bible does says the world hasn’t always been the way it is now.
“Therefore, when the ancient sages found that in this world creatures were destroying each other, they decided it was better to give up the world.” This was the wisdom they decided on - to escape to heaven? If the "Satguru is an incarnation eternally existing upon the earth," as Sant Mat teachings sometimes maintain, when did these ancient sages decide on their strategy of escape? Before, or after, the Fall? Or, if there was no Fall, but only evolution, then when?
“They determined that it was impossible to find peace of mind in any worldly object, and that happiness lies within man himself and that ocean of which he is a drop. Therefore, the Sages thought, as long as they were confined in the prison of this world, they would adopt the course which was the least harmful; they would subsist on creatures the killing of which was the least sinful. They discovered that all living beings of this world could be divided into classes as regards the composition of their bodies and the number of elements they contain. By elements they did not mean the ninety or so elements discovered by modern scientists, but the main conditions or divisions of matter.
“There are five such classes of substances. According to their classification, under class one, came all of those creatures in whom all five of these substances are active, that is, man. In the next class came those in which only four substances are active and one dormant, and that is quadrupeds. In them there is no sense of discrimination, because in them the Akash Tattwa is dormant. In the third class fell creatures in which only three substances are active, namely air, water, and fire. They are birds. They lack earth and Akash.”
He doesn't mention them but I assume he includes reptiles with the birds. And some have in fact speculated that chickens at least embryologically are similar to alligators, or that flying dinosaurs became birds. But what about the fish? Are they lumped in with birds and reptiles, as being composed of air, water, and fire?
“The fourth class is made up of insects, in which only two substances are active, air and fire. Then comes the last class, the fifth, in which only one element or substance is active, that is, the vegetable world.”
Kirpal and Darshan Singh said insects were earth and fire, while Sawan said air and fire. Maybe we need an additional class, as eating a reptile (earth and fire) seems worse than eating an insect (air and fire). Snakes are reptiles and have lungs.
“In them [plants], water is the only active element. Experts have proved that, in many vegetables, there is as much as ninety-five percent water. When the creatures of the other four classes are killed or injured, they cry out in pain, but not so the vegetables [Except as found by Dr.Bose!], though they have life. So the Sages concluded that the eating of vegetables was the least sinful, (the least burdened with karma). Although the eating of vegetables produced some karma, yet it was of a light nature, which could be easily worked off by spiritual exercises. They thus chose the course of least resistance, and so abstained from the killing of other forms of life.” (429)
[To be complete, what about the mineral kingdom? Wouldn't that be composed of just the earth element? Is this not considered living? What makes a thing living - is it the presence of prana? Of course, no one eats rocks for food. Some sages in fact do consider rocks living, however, and even having a form of consciousness, although widely different from ours. Humans are said to be awake, quadrupeds are waking, lower animals are dreaming, plants are sleeping, and minerals are said to have a form of consciousness akin to that of the deepest trance - maybe like someone under anaesthesia].
The most ancient Rishis engaged in sacrifices and ate meat at least in celebrations.This again therefore sounds like the philosophy of Jainism which strives to do the least sin and imagines salvation becoming a pure isolated Purusha free from all contamination with matter. One is certainly free to choose that, but it is not the only ancient high spiritual school of thought and practice.
Eggs don’t cry out it pain.
OMG! Guru Nanak and the Sikh Gurus Ate Meat
This no doubt is a hot topic, but it seems evident that Guru Nanak (1468-1539), who traveled widely throughout Asia, did eat meat as needed when offered to him, while preferring vegetarian food when at home. Many slokas of scripture emphasize, however, that he took a broad view and a primary emphasis of his was on mocking those who were righteously vegetarian while not worshiping God and harming others through thought, word, or deed. The Sikh Gurus after him were somewhat of a mixed bag, but did not prohibit meat to their followers, and some of them were even avid huntsmen. The Sikhs today who eat meat only eat it if it is killed instantly such as by beheading and not by ritual slaughter in order to minimize pain and suffering, but also, historically as per the teachings of Guru Gobind Singh, to reject the idea that any ritual has any effect on the food itself and is purely superstition. This was part of his rejection of Islamic hegemony in India at the time.
A story of Guru Nanak squeezing a king's food and seeing blood drip out instead of milk squeezing out of a poor man’s bread was not primarily about the evils of meat eating. The moral was the king's foods were paid for with ill-gotten gains. In this he was similar to his contemporary in the west, St. Francis of Paola (1416-1507), who showed his displeasure with the corrupt ways of Neapolitan King Ferrante who had given him coins to build a monastery, by breaking one of the gold coins in two with blood dripping from each half. (430)
"In Kurukshetra, a large Hindu pilgrimage center where a large fair was being held on the solar eclipse. A follower of the Guru [Nanak] offered him deer meat to eat. The Guru who had never made a distinction between one type of food and another and had taken whatever was offered to him, did not refuse the courtesies of his devotee. And he allowed him to roast it for his food." (431)
"One day the Guru [Guru Anhad] was having a dinner of prepared meat. Amar Das said, "If the Guru is a seeker of hearts, he should know that I am a Vaishnava and I do not touch the flesh." The Guru , knowing this, asked dal to be served to him instead. Amar Das then reflected, "The Knower, the Guru does not forbid the flesh, yet he has asked for dal to be served instead." Amar Das quickly concluded that any disciple whose practice differs from that of his Guru must inevitably fail. He therefore told the cook that if the Guru were kind enough to give him meat, he would share it with him. The Guru, hearing this, knew that superstition was starting from the heart of Amar Das and he gave him his own dish. When Amar Das had shared with him, for the first time he felt peace of mind, and when he became absorbed in his attentions and devotion to the Guru, the celestial light dawned on his heart. Thus done, the stickler in the principles of Vaishnavism becomes a follower of the Guru. One day the Guru to take it further and remove the prejudices of Amar Das, began to instruct him: "The meats that are proper to abstain from are desiring the wealth of others, desiring the wives of others and slander, envy, and greed. If anyone abstains from the flesh and is proud of the matter and says, 'I never touch the flesh', let him consider that the infant sucks nipples of meat and the married man takes home with him a vessel of flesh." The guru Angad then repeated and recited the sloks of Guru Nanak in the matter. He also told Amar Das the story of Duni Chand and his father, who lived in the time of Guru Nanak. "If you think about it," continued the Guru, there is life in everything, even in fruits and flowers, not to mention meat; but whatever you eat, remembering God will be profitable to you. Eating anything without hurting a fellow creature is nectar, and anything you receive by giving pain is poison. Crashing another's hopes, slandering others, and stealing their property is worse than eating meat. " (432)
Sri Nisargadatta had a similar experience with is own guru, Sri Siddharameshwar:
"He [had eventually become] a vegetarian in a family which was eating meat. Once he went to his Guru to Bhagewadi in Biljapur District and in the course of the spiritual discussions his Guru Maharaj suddenly changed the subject and looking at him asked whether he ate mutton to which he replied in the negative. After hearing this his Guru said that he would make him eat mutton the next day and he felt very confused and shocked. He bowed down to him and requested him to excuse him because it was likely that he would vomit. But Guru Maharaj told him not to worry about it and said if any such thing happened he himself would clean the floor. Unable to go against the dictates of Guru Maharaj he ate mutton and he experienced Brahmananda the whole day. Obviously Maharaj knew about it and asked him with a smile as to how he felt. Speaking about this Nisargadatta used to say, "If one type of food can restrict your spiritual progress, it would mean some other type of food can accelerate it". (https://www.inner-quest.org/NisargadattaMG.htm)
Continuing, Sabbar Singh Khalsa writes that Guru Har Gobind ate meat and hunted:
"Mohsin Fani was a historian, traveler and mystic who was born around 1615 in Persia. During the life of Guru Hargobind he emigrated to India and studied the religions of India. He became very good friends with Guru Hargobind and spent a long time the Guru until the death of the Guru in 1644. Between 1645 and 1654 he produced his great work 'Dabistan-e-Mazahib' which means' The schools of thought of various religions " This book provides the most accurate account of the life of Guru Hargobind and the Sikhs at that time. Mohsin Fani writes: "The Guru believes in a God, his followers did not put their faith in idol worship, they never pray or practice austerities like the Hindus, they do not believe in their incarnations, or places of pilgrimage, nor the Sanskrit language that the Hindus judge being the language of the gods, they believe that all the Gurus are the same as Nanak. The Sikhs do not restrict themselves in the matter of eating or drinking. When in the Partap Mall Giani saw a Hindu boy who had a mind to embrace Islam, he said, 'Why do not you become a Muhammadan? If you have a penchant for eating everything, you can become a Guru Sikh and can eat anything you like." Some use the following quote from Mohsin Fani to show that Guru Nanak and Guru Arjan Dev did not allow the Sikhs to eat meat. Since he emigrated to India during the life of Guru Hargobind, his information about Guru Nanak and Guru Arjan Dev cannot be considered an eyewitness account. Also, vegetarian advocates usually only give a partial appointment, the complete appointment is: "Nanak himself abstained from animal food and Guru Arjan added to his holy merit and influence practiced a similar moderation, but Hargobind the adventurer became a hunter and a meat eater, and his disciples imitated him in these robust practices." (433)
[Sabbar Singh Khalsa is an interesting character, an Orthodox Christian priest who converted to Sikhism. This is something that probably doesn’t happen very often: choosing to leave Jesus as Lord and Savior and not replace him with a living Guru or Master but choosing a religion that believes their line of Gurus has ended].
Another contemporary of the Guru, Gokul Chand Narang provides the following eyewitness account: "Hargobind began to devote most of his time to fighting, riding, nailing his tent and hunting tigers and boars." With the change of objectives the occupation changed, and With the change in occupation, a change came into the flavors and the diet as well. Animal food was not only allowed but it was also encouraged to consume it.”
"Guru Nanak wrote a passage from the very long Bani where he clearly and precisely ridiculed the relationship between vegetarianism and the bani of religion. The question appears on ANGs 1289 to 1290 of the Guru Granth Sahib and is reported to have been written by the Guru when He ate meat at a Hindu festival. In the first stanza Guru Nanak establishes the fact that we are a creation of flesh. We are composed of flesh and we were created from the flesh of our fathers...At the beginning of the second verse, Guru Nanak discredits the duality of vegetarians who oppose eating meat. Guru Nanak says that these people have their priorities confused, they fight for the virtues of not eating meat, however they do not spend their time in contemplation of God. He says that every living thing is life, if one is killing an animal or a plant, he asks can the vegetarian please tell him where the sin lies if he is killing living things, be they plants or animals? [Note: Guru Nanak does not in his bani propound on the theory of the five elements in regard to creating the least amount of karma by in ones diet, as Radhasoami/Sant Mat and some Hindu schools do]. Then Guru Nanak goes on to talk about how animal sacrifice of the rhinoceros was an integral part of the Hindu religion that is willing to sacrifice animals for religion, however he says he, himself does not make such sacrifices. It is another contradiction exposed by the Guru. Guru Nanak then talks about the duality of these people who engage in innumerable sins and then make a public display of their "great piety" by saying that they do not eat meat because it is a sin, another contradiction. Guru Ji then says how the vegetarian Brahmin is a creation of the flesh, yet he maintains that eating meat is a sin."
Sabbar Singh Khalsa then comments: "Guru Nanak establishes the fact that eating meat is a historical fact in the Muslim, Christian and Hindu faiths and has been a part of daily life for many ages, so why is the vegetarian Brahmin [a Hindu] denying his own story? Then Guru Nanak talks about the absurdity that kings who eat meat must all go to hell, however the vegetarian Brahmin who lives on his ill-gotten donations and charity will go to heaven. Finally, Guru Nanak concludes that all vegetables and meat are the same because their basic ingredient is water and that if the Brahmin vegetarian really wants to practice his religious renunciation instead of not eating meat, he should stop drinking water completely." (434)
Guru Gobind Singh similarly writes:
"When I became a Spiritual Sovereign, I tried to extend the Religion with my best skills, I hunted in several games in the forest, including bears, nilgaus and elk, so I left my house and proceeded to the city of Paunta. Kalindri banks, I refreshed myself and had fun with many types of entertainment. There I killed many ferocious lions and also nilgaus and elk." (435)
Bhai Gurdas states: "The earliest Gurus sat on the papal throne, while leading a life of peace and contentment, Hargobind had dogs for sports, and went out to hunt wild animals." (436)
Finally, at the creation of Khalsa by Guru Gobind Singh in 1699 a story emerged that is in all the Sikh chronicles recording the fact that during the baptism ceremony of the first five Sikhs in the Khalsa/Guru Brotherhood, Guru Gobind Rai asked for volunteers who were willing to give their heads. He took every volunteer in the tent, a loud thud was heard and blood dripped out of the tent. Guru Ji then left the tent with his sword that dripped blood and asked for the next volunteer. Later, Guru Gobind Singh came out of the tent with the five dear ones alive. He opened the tent and revealed to the thousands of attendants that he had killed five goats with his sword and not the five dear ones.
And yet some Radhasoamis are quick to label Sri Ramakrishna as an agent of Kal because one of his tasks as priest at the temple in Dakshineswar before his enlightenment had been to sacrifice goats! I think Guru Nanak as well as Gobind Singh would have had some strong words to say about this. It seems clear, at the least, that the great Guru had bigger fish to fry” than to propose or mandate a universal diet for his followers or in a new religion. It seems that Nanak criticized the self-righteous vegetarians of his day, and devotees of rituals and superstitions of any kind, more than just about anything else. He would likely have a field day exposing the woke hypocrisy of PETA and vegetarians of all stripes who yet feel good support abortion up to and after birth for any reasons! It perhaps boils down to the inability to express truth because truth is "offensive", and the inability or unwillingness to see the grasp of Satan because we are too sophisticated to believe in good and evil.
SIkhism or Kabir? - the Roots of Modern Sant Mat
An interesting question arises when viewing Sant Mat history: where does the precept of strict vegetarianism come from? Is it from Sikhism or St. Kabir? Sant Mat seems to be somewhat divided in which influence has the most weight in their teaching. Some lineages even teach that Kabir is God (a rogue Kabir-quasi 'Sant Mat' sect led by Jagatguru Rampalji, mentioned in Part One), while other more legitimate lineages hold his Anurag Sagar as the Sant Mat Bible (Sawan Singh, Ajaib Singh), while others (Kirpal Singh) place great emphasis on the lineage descending from the ten Sikh Gurus (even though diverging from the Sikh religion that made the holy Granth the Guru, and looked for a continuation of living masters after Gobind Singh).
The accepted story of Sikhism is that the tenth Sikh Guru, Gobind Singh, declared an end to the line of living gurus from Nanak and henceforth made the Adi Granth, now expanded as the Guru Granth Sahib, to be the Guru as embodying the light (jot) of Nanak. But someone started a belief that Gobind Singh survived his assassination attempt in 1708 and lived a long time afterwards, long enough to initiate Tulsi Saheb to continue the lineage, and that Tulsi or someone from his family initiated Soamiji. This theory has been discredited by research of Sant Mat scholars such as Prof. Agam Prasad Mathur in “Radhasoami Faith: A Historical Study”. Kirpal tried to find a link through one Ratnagar Rao, but came up empty and admitted the theory of unbroken succession from the Sikh gurus could not be substantiated. Sant Mat researcher James Bean compiled evidence pointing to the line of Masters giving out the panch shabd or five names as most likely descending from Kabir, the Dharamdasi gurus after him, Saint Saheb, Dariya Das (considered by some an incarnation of Kabir) and then Tulsi Saheb. [See the excellent “The Origins of Sant Mat, The Five Names, and The Identity of Tulsi Sahib’s Guru” (https://medium.com/sant-mat-meditation-and-spirituality/the-origins-of-sant-mat-the-five-names-and-the-identity-of-tulsi-sahib-s-guru-by-james-bean-eaa516deccf9)]. The Anurag Sagar was not written by Kabir himself but came from the Dharamdasi line of masters after him. It is not valued by more mainstream Kabir sects and was unknown to the Sikh gurus. In the Granth itself only four of the five names are mentioned, omitting the third name, “Rarankar”. Further, there is little mention of the Sikh gurus in the voluminous writings of Tulsi Sahib. So it seems likely modern Sant Mat (a term coined by Tulsi Sahib) with its five names and detailed cosmology of planes derives from Kabir. Which, as seen in Part One, may have roots going back to Gorakhnath and other saints.
Still, establishing a guru parampara is not made easy for us, and some seem to want it both ways! Purportedly, Sawan Singh said:
"At one time the key to unlock the inner door was in the house of Kabir. Then it passed to Guru Nanak, where it remained for ten generations. Then it went to Tulsi Sahib, from where it went to Soamiji. This is the law of nature. Change becomes essential after a certain period." (437)
Did Beas distort the truth, or were they just being needlessly obfuscating here? This quote has been subject to varying interpretations, but "What is true?" is still the big question. Historical veracity does not tell us Kabir was right, or whether he was an avatar; similarly, it does not tell us the Sikh Gurus were right, or that Nanak [whose writings in the Granth say his teachings came directly from the Creator] was an avatar. So where does this leave us? One could conclude either (1) the Sikh Gurus after Nanak were not all PLM’s, since they ate meat and didn’t teach the five names (2) Gobind Singh did end the guruship, and left no successors (3) or Kabir is the true predecessor of modern Sant Mat, with an unbroken lineage, refreshed under Soamiji (who, according to this reasoning, was therefore not an avatar as Agra claims), and that therefore as followers of Kabir strict vegetarianism in Sant Mat is the rule for all. But one is still faced with the need to decide all of this out for oneself!
Thus, some seek a continuation from Kabir down through Tulsi Saheb and Soamiji, while others have sought a continuation of the Sikh Gurus through the same. But as we have seen, the Sikh gurus were not strict vegetarian. Kabir, moreover, was associated with the bhakti movement, while Sikhism after Gobind Singh feels it has made a clean break with that earlier tradition. Why? Sikhs today feel that Guru Nanak took the natural love and devotion of the bhaktis and expanded it to the entire world. While the prayer of the bhakti is: "Oh my beloved, I long to be with you. Bless me with your darshan,” the prayer of the Sikh is "Sarbat da Bhala," May the entire world be blessed and enlightened. Thus Sikhs feel they are not descended from the bhakti movement (such as Kabir and Ravidas), but some do acknowledge a heritage from the earlier Sant tradition. This understanding, that it is not just about the individual attaining union with the Divine, but rather the entire humanity rising together, is akin to the progression from the Hinayana to the Mahayana in Buddhism, along with the bodhisattva ideal. Further, there are no high or low disciples, and no one “true” sect of Sikhs in this perspective. Kabir was a vegetarian and strongly believed in a strict doctrine of ahimsa, or non-destruction of any life in any form: man, animal or even a flower. The Sikh Gurus did not believe in this essentially Hindu practice, as already shown above. So strict vegetarianism may be attributed to the modern Sant Mat masters themselves, and/or as inherited from Kabir.
It is kind of ironic in a way, that Anurag Sagar with its fantastic cosmology seems to complicate Sant Mat in an age that is moving towards less complication, and in contrast to Kabir who in his more famous Bijak said: “nobody gets it - it’s too simple!” Anurag Sagar is surely not simple, and one may well ask, does it not perpetuate a great search, rather than shortening if not ending it? But this is for the reader to decide, and perhaps not for us to say.
Is Even Breathing a Sin?
Many traditional teachings were nonsensical, old-fashioned scare stories which could have been called “practice motivators”. But which do not serve anymore (if, in fact, they ever did). For instance, speaking on the dietary implications of the theory of the five elements, my beloved Kirpal once said, “technically speaking, even breathing is a sin.” That is basically pure Jainism which is a heightened dualistic path where the goal is to make a clean escape from evil matter, a radical separation of Purusha from Prakriti. Only Jains, Kabir-ites, some Hindus, and perhaps the gentle Franciscan order in Christianity, are strict vegetarians. Again, many Sikhs are not, nor were most of the Sikh gurus. So maybe the Sant Mat groups that religiously claim descent from Kabir are those more insistent on being vegetarian? Yet what more self-condemning statement can be made than “even breathing is a sin”? This, in my view, not only makes self-acceptance more difficult, but can only make initiates feeling more uptight and paranoid if they are not meditating or otherwise constantly doing something to avoid contamination!
Sikhs today are divided, with some sects rejecting meat eating and others not. The more vegetarian tend to be among converts from Vishnavaite Hinduism which revered the cow. The Sikhs never worshipped the cow or any other animal. The Amritdhari Sikhs merely reject ritual slaughter. Sabbar SIngh Khalsa quotes:
"The Sikh Reht Maryada (The Official Code of Conduct): An Amritdhari Khalsa Sikh is not allowed to eat the flesh of an animal killed in the Muslim manner. In Punjabi the word "Kuttha" specifically is the animal or bird meat slowly slaughtered [sometimes read as "tortured"] as prescribed by Islamic law. Jhatka meat is meat in which the animal has been killed quickly without suffering or without religious ritual." (438)
"We must give the reason behind prescribing jhatka meat as accepted food for the Sikhs. According to the ancient tradition of the Aryan Hindu, only such meat as is obtained from an animal that is killed with a blow of a weapon that causes instant death is good for health and for human consumption. However, with the coming of Islam in India and the Muslim political hegemony, it became a state policy not to allow the killing of animals for food in any other way except as explained in the Koran - like Jewish meat, prepared by disengaging the main artery from the throat of the animal slowly while the verses of the Koran are recited. A sacrifice is made to God and sins are expiated with the killing. Guru Gobind Singh took a pretty serious view of the matter. Therefore, while it is permissible to take meat as food, the entire theory of this atoning sacrifice and the right of Muslims to rule over non-Muslims were repudiated. According to this, he made jhatka meat required for the Sikhs who may be interested in taking meat as a part of their food. (439).
"The Semitic practice is rejected in the Sikh code of conduct because it is clearly eating the flesh of an animal cooked in a ritualistic way, which means both Jewish meat and halal meat. The reason is not again in the religious principle but rather in the point of view that killing an animal with a prayer will not ennoble the flesh. No ritual, whoever directs it, will do anybody or anything good, neither the animal nor the diner."
"The reason why meat is not served in Langar in the Gurdwaras is because the Langar is supposed to be a place of equality of humanity where all people do not care what race, religion or caste they can eat in an atmosphere of brotherhood. The Hindu, Sikh, the Muslim, it does not matter who they are. Different religions have different dietary restrictions. Hindus cannot eat the cow, Muslims cannot eat pork and will eat only halal meat. The Jews will eat only Jewish meat, others cannot eat fish or eggs. But in the Guru’s Langar, no matter what your dietary taboos or religious beliefs are, the food is designed so that everyone can eat together, and no one will be offended or unable to share the food." (440)
Meat was included in langar at the time of Guru Angad, but was discontinued to accommodate Vaishnavites.
"Throughout Sikh history, there have been movements or subsects of Sikhism which have espoused vegetarianism. I think there is no basis for such dogma or practice in Sikhism. Certainly Sikhs do not think that a vegetarian's achievements in spirituality are easier or higher. It is surprising to see that vegetarianism is such an important facet of Hindu practice in light of the fact that animal sacrifice was a significant and much valued Hindu Vedic ritual for ages. Guru Nanak in his writings clearly rejected both sides of the arguments - on the virtues of vegetarianism or meat eating - as banal and so much nonsense, nor did he accept the idea that a cow was somehow more sacred than a horse or a chicken. He also refused to be drawn into a contention on the differences between flesh and greens, for instance. History tells us that to impart this message, Nanak cooked meat at an important Hindu festival in Kurukshetra. Having cooked it he certainly did not waste it, but probably served it to his followers and ate himself. History is quite clear that Guru Hargobind and Guru Gobind Singh were accomplished and avid hunters. The game was cooked and put to good use, to throw it away would have been an awful waste." (441)
The purpose of presenting all of the above is to engender a spirit of tolerance and focus on what is most important. So now, what are you going to do - go out and eat meat?!! Let's not forget the lesson of Guru Amar Das near the beginning of this sub-section, but also learn to use discrimination in these matters. So consider all this wisely, and choose what you will do. I wish it were easy but mankind seems to be in a pickle: it would be great to stop the slaughter, and on an individual scale we can certainly do our part, but without genetic engineering or species extermination, it does not seem possible on a grand scale any time soon, with the current number of farm animals being in the billions. But if we do eliminate them, maybe they will all go back to Sirius when they die, joining the cetaceans - only God knows. Maybe there is another plan upstairs for the species and we needn't worry about it.
As to be mentioned again in Part Four in the sections of Avatars, there is one minor sect that believes that Kabir is the Supreme God. It is a relatively short jump from believing that Kabir’s Anurag Sagar - itself a work from a minor Kabir sect - is the highest truth, as Soamiji told Sawan, and apparently as the Ajaib group believes, to falling for the radical teaching of "Jagadguru Rampalji", who insists Kabir is God “as literally stated in all the world’s scriptures” (clearly not true under any serious analysis), and of course as in any good cult this group's guru is the only one who can help you, since Jesus was just an agent of Kal and so are all the Sant Mat gurus who teach the five names beginning with "Niranjan" - the name of the devil! Apparently ten thousand people still follow him even after he was convicted on a murder rap. For those interested they will find information at: https://www.jagatgururampalji.org/en/bible/god-kabir-bible/.
For our purposes here, however, we wish to show one example of how scripture is manipulated to justify a dietary position. Rampalji's group, besides relying on the standard passages in Genesis 1 where man [before the Fali] was told to eat only green things for food, quote as primary support for vegetarianism Romans 14:21:
"It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor anything whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak." (Orthodox Jewish Bible)
However, the full passage, Romans 14:13-23, gives quite a different meaning, that all food is clean but simply take care not to offend thy brother in faith:
"I know, and am persuaded by the Lord Jesus, that there is nothing unclean of itself: but to him that esteemeth any thing to be unclean, to him it is unclean. But if thy brother be grieved with thy meat, now walkest thou not charitably. Destroy not him with thy meat, for whom Christ died. Let not then your good be evil spoken of: For the kingdom of God is not meat and drink; but righteousness, and peace, and joy in the Holy Ghost. For he that in these things serveth Christ is acceptable to God, and approved of men. Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things wherewith one may edify another. For meat destroy not the work of God. All things indeed are pure; but it is evil for that man who eateth with offence. It is good neither to eat flesh, nor to drink wine, nor any thing whereby thy brother stumbleth, or is offended, or is made weak. Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth. And he that doubteth is damned if he eat, because he eateth not of faith: for whatsoever is not of faith is sin." (King James Bible).
So we come back to Kirpal's saying that "to hurt someone's feelings because they eat meat is worse than eating meat itself," which is very much like the attitude of both Jesus and Guru Nanak, who both embraced a very broad view. An interesting miracle attributed to Saint Paul of the Cross (1694-1775), founder of the Passionate Fathers, is fitting here I think:
"...the saint was a guest at the house of Signori Goffredi, where a hen was served for dinner. St. Paul said, "You have done wrong to kill that poor animal, because with her eggs she was the support of a poor woman to whom she belonged." He then blessed the hen - already cooked, as it was - in the Name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost. He had hardly pronounced the words when the hen returned to life, was covered with feathers, took wing and went off screaming out the window of the house of her poor mistress, from whom she had been stolen by the man who stole her. This miracle was recorded on oath by an eye-witness." (442)
One final note. We must be careful in comparing our needs with various ideals we may hear or read about. For instance, many Christian saints have gone long periods - months and even years - without eating anything but the wafer given during holy communion. Stigmatist Theresa Neumann got quite plump that way, and Padre Pio was known to gain weight when he fasted. St. Teresa of Avila also went long periods without food, but was known to feast on roast duck on occasion. Similarly, there have been many saints east and west who need almost no sleep. These matters are highly individual ones, and our needs are likely to be very different, and we will usually find out pretty quickly our actual limits. So while we may experiment freely, let us not feel we need to copy the saints. Or anybody. The oldest living centenarian woman in Japan was asked what food she liked to eat the most, and she answered, "noodles."
Wine!
While we are on the general subject of personal disciplines, as long as we have covered self-introspection, sex, and diet, the same change of attitude goes for drinking alcohol, so let's look at it. The main proscription on this path is against intoxication or even dulling ones consciousness, but if a few sips of wine are said to be good for the heart, and, as some initiates have confessed to me, also relaxes them enough to benefit their meditation - as also appears to be so regarding sex for certain body-mind types, who over the years have chipped away at my puritanical righteousness and preconceived notions of what is the best way to live for all - I say, who will cast the first stone? The great Ibn 'al Arabi had four wives. Two of the highest initiates I know have six and seven kids, and most of the masters have had several. I seriously doubt these people made love only six or seven - or three - times, and for procreation only! What about love and delight? Is incarnation in itself so bad? Or only carnation?! One can make the case against dissipation of subtle life energies (for the male, ojas), but that is a highly individual thing, and also needing adjustment in the interests of domestic harmony among those at different levels. Love must be the prevailing factor.
Further, again, while it is not my way, in fact I just can't handle it, but are we to condemn or look down upon millions of moderate wine-consuming Frenchmen? Or the respected Swami Chinmayananda, who would have an occasional scotch? I certainly will not. But then it seems that sages can sometimes do things that saints cannot! Most likely it was no more often than Charan Singh took Valium (as reported by an initiate who saw the bottle in the room where Charan had slept). Apparently the human body has its limits both physically and mentally, even for adepts.
It is plain silly accusing Catholic priests of being unspiritual for using a small amount of wine in the sacrament of the Eucharist, as Christ told his disciples to do in remembrance of Him. Nevertheless, this has happened with some of the Gurus.
These are just my personal observations, perhaps partly in order to cover myself (!), and not a ‘recommendation’ for anyone else. It is part of everyone's learning, discrimination, and fearless investigation to find out what works and is true for them. After all, who is getting realized? Somebody else? The development of discriminative intelligence is one of the most important aspects of spiritual maturity. Obedience and devotion is a good start, and can take one far, but that very devotion will eventually demand understanding. What one loves also wants to be known. Fools do not generally get enlightened, and the masters are not fools, but by and large the flower of human intelligence.
And speaking of food, many of us would-be ascetics at Sawan Ashram found our desire to spend long hours in meditations interrupted by frequent calls to the Master's veranda for parties and food - lots of sweets and goodies, much more than our stomachs desired. As Shivas Irons said in Michael Murphy's book, Golf in the Kingdom, "crazy for God my Master might have been, but a dry and lonely one he never was." In retrospect it was as if in his last year on earth Kirpal, for one, was opening the floodgates of grace and freedom for his chelas, if they would but accept his offer.
In summary, our humble opinion is that it is one's intention that is the most important factor in all discipline. What is the intention behind eating/not eating eggs? In doing/not doing/or modifying vows?? In study? In service? And, even, in meditating? It is said, "All things work to the good for those who love God", but also "To thine own self be true." Let us have a little faith in ourselves, and also trust that God is on our side, supporting that faith. A little less rules and regulation, and a lot less in some cases, as laid down by the gurus the better, perhaps, with a little more confidence in the basic intelligence of the people deciding, if need be, through experimentation what is best. One question for enquiry in this regard might be, "what would one do from the heart if he knew or lived as if God was not keeping score or sitting in judgement?" This is not going to the extreme of “being one's own guru,” in a negative sense, but in a positive sense, as a suggestion to counter-balance some of the more austere approaches of times past.
The role of intuition - true Guru - graduation
Tuning in to one's intuition is a key way to connect with the deeper consciousness. In fact, in self-inquiry, a surrender or yielding to an intuitive feeling that arises from within has been described as the royal road to the self. Intuition also acts as a bridge between the conscious and subconscious parts of the mind. This can apply to dietary choices as well. Intuition can be fostered by meditation, mindfulness and contemplation, but also depends on the unconscious processing of many pieces of information and experience. The broader one’s range of experience the greater material the intuition has to draw upon. So in this light “intuitive eating” has a role to play in finding what is right for the biological or psycho-physical individual. This suggests a knowing of when breaking the more general guidelines or rules is called for, and which may take courage in facing an anticipated and imagined sword of Damocles falling on one’s head. Trust in the authenticity of one's own being is called for, which for many is often a fearful thing to embrace, but a necessary quality to foster intuition, a doorway to the heart. The challenge is to balance the giving of faith to a teacher while keeping the ability to think for oneself and listen for intuitions from within. A true teacher will not tell one what to think or communicate of rigid dogma, but will prefer that his disciples discover things for themselves by offering suggestions and clues, thereby leading the student's mind so his thinking gradually changes by itself. Brunton writes on this important theme of trusting intuitive inner guidance:
“Listening to someone else's teaching, or reading it, will only be a temporary makeshift until the day when he can establish communication with his own intuitive self and receive from it the teaching which he, as a unique individual, needs. From no other source can he get such specially suitable instruction.” (443)
That is really crucial.
“There is a way suited to the particular individuality of each separate person, which will bring out all of his spiritual possibilities as no other way could…Again and again one observes that the technique, exercise, method, or rule which brings good results for one person fails to do so for another. It is absurd to make a single uniform prescription and expect all persons to get a single uniform result from it. What has been done here is to give some of the best ones and let each reader find out what suits him most, not what suits his friend or another reader most.” (444)
“It is a common error, among the pious and even among the mystics, to believe that one path alone - theirs - is the best. This may be quite correct in the case of each person, but it may not necessarily be correct for others, and even then it is only correct for a period or at most a number of lifetimes. How often have men outgrown their former selves and taken to new paths? And how different are the intellectual moral and temperamental equipments of different persons? It is in practice, as in theory, not possible to tie everyone down to a single specific path and certainly not advisable.” (445)
“He should not be discouraged because others have gone ahead on the path more quickly than he, any more than he should be gratified because some have gone ahead more slowly than he, for the fact is that the goal he seeks is already within his grasp. He is the Overself that he seeks to unite with, and the time it seems to take to realize this is itself an illusion of the mind. Let him, therefore, go forward at his own rate and within the limits of his own strength, leaving the result in the hands of God.” (446)
Ishwar Puri said that you come to realize that the master is your own self. Sri Nisargadatta replied to someone who asked that if that were so why wouldn’t the self just help one without the master:
“But I am the self! You imagine me as separate, hence your question. There is no ‘my self’ and ‘hisself’. There is the Self, the only Self of all. Misled by the diversity of names and shapes, minds and bodies, you imagine multiple selves. We both are the self, but you seem unconvinced. This talk of personal and universal self is the learner’s stage; go beyond, don’t be stuck in duality…The greatest Guru is your inner self. Truly, he is the supreme teacher. He alone can take you to your goal and he alone meets you at the end of the road.” (447)
Brunton expresses this somewhat differently, saying that what appears to be the reverse, that you eventually realize that your Overself is the true master, and the outer master knows he is but a symbol used by that higher self as a focus for your devotion and aspiration. The outer master is an agent of that which he represents and not just another person whom one enters into a human relationship with. He is that, too, but few have that circumstance for long, nor is it necessary once the inner contact has been truly made. The master gives inspiration, teaching, guidance, but the grace which may seem to come from without essentially comes from your true Self within. The outer master is not responsible for making all of our decisions or solving all of our problems. Yet that is what many religio-mystical devotees assume and thus waste their master's precious time and their own by seeking outwardly. That would, however, defeat the very purpose of our incarnation, which is to grow into knowledge of our own divine soul. It is for the disciple to lay a cable of faith which keeps the connection intact and invokes a response. The master's response coming from the timeless spaceless soul is automatic and does not require his direct regard. Therefore to expect him to show interest and give his attention to every aspect of our personal lives is to misinterpret who he is and what he stands for. A true teacher knows that it is one's own higher self, or Logos if you will, that has brought him into the picture as an indirect medium through which the response will operate.
"It will not be until a late stage that he will wake up to the realization that the real giver of Grace, the real helper along this path, the real master is not the incarnated master outside but the Overself inside his own heart." (448)
"The philosophical method is to lead the pupil to the point where he requires no teacher. The mystical method is to lead him to the point where he cannot do without the teacher." (449)
Moreover,
"No guru can lead anyone to enlightenment if he himself is attached to the role of guru, nor can any disciple ever receive enlightenment if he wants to play the role of disciple forever." (450)
At some point one must learn to stand alone. The master is a guide through thinning stages of illusion, but at the last stage, on the threshold of reality, so to speak, all supports outside of oneself are left behind, including attachment to the noble guide who has shown him the path to liberation from all other attachments.
Having said that, and realizing that the guru-disciple relationship is a paradoxical one, great sages advise one to perform the "Devotion after Liberation," as an expression of gratitude, and a means of sanctifying that Liberation. Sri Siddharameshwar said:
"Devotion contains within itself Liberation. By devotion, the Liberation becomes sanctified. When the state of the Totality of Brahman is attained, one thinks that devotion with its inherent duality is no longer needed. One should not suffer from the pride of having achieved any such state." (451)
Ramana said that only the sage is a true devotee.
Along the way, we live in between:
"Such is the strange paradox of the quest that on the one hand he must foster determined self-reliance but on the other yield to a feeling of utter dependence on the higher powers.” (452)
“Each will come to God in the end but he will come as a purified transformed and utterly changed person, lived on and used by God as he himself will live in and be conscious of the presence of God.” (453)
Footnotes
1. Frydman, op.cit., p. 211-213
2. Hawkins, Devotional Non-Duality, op. cit., p. 166
3. Ibid, p. 163-164
4. Namkhai Norbu, Dzogchen: the Self Perfected State
5. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
6. Guyon, Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ, op. cit.
7. Kavanogh/Rodriguez, op.cit., Dark Night of the Soul, Bk II, Chapter X, 2
8. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
9. Frydman, op. cit., p. 614
10. Tweedie, op. cit., p. 141
11. Hieromonk Isaac, Elder Paissos of Mount Athos (Chalkidiki, Greece: The Holy Monastery "Saint Arsenios the Cappadocian", 2004/2010), p. 375
12. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 9, Part One, 1.206
13. Ibid, Vol. 6, Part 2, 2.43
14. Spiritual Progress, op.cit., Christian Counsel on the Inner Life
15. Brunton, op. cit., reference misplaced
16. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
17. Roberts, What Is Self?, op. cit., p. 91
18. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., Dark Night of the Soul, p. 435
19. Sena, op. cit., p. 315-316
20. from Sayings of Ramakrishna
21. Kirpal Singh, Sat Sandesh, July 1975, p. 27
22. Brunton, The Wisdom of the Overself, op. cit.
23. Brunton, The Notebooks of Paul Brunton, op. cit., reference misplaced
24. Ibid, Vol. 15, Part 1, 3.72
25. E. Allison Peers, trans., Ascent of Mount Carmel (New York: Image/Doubleday, 1958), p. 96-97
26. Ibid, p. 99
27. Abbot Zenkei Shibayama, op.cit., p. 171-172
28. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
29. Shaikh Hakim Moinuddin Chisti, The Book of Sufi Healing (Rochester, Vermont: Inner Traditions International, 1991), p. 37
30. Kyriacos Markides, Gifts of the Desert (New York: Doubleday, 2005), p. 143
31. Aldous Huxley, The Perennial Philosophy (London: Chatto & Windus, 1950), p. 25, 13-14
32. Brunton, op. cit., reference misplaced
33. Kirpal Singh, Spiritual Elixer, p. 27
34. Ramana Maharshi, op. cit.
35. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 2, 4.49
36. Ibid, 4.121
37. Ibid, reference misplaced
38. Darshan Singh, Streams of Nectar, op. cit., p. 153, 171-172
39. Ram Alexander, Death Must Die, (Varanasi, India: Indica Books, 2006), p. 51
40. Kyriakos Markides, The Mountain of Silence (New York: Image/Doubleday, 2001), p. 58-59
41. Kirpal Singh, Godman, op. cit., p. 156
42. Hubert Benoit, Zen and the Psychology of Transformation: The Supreme Doctrine (Inner Traditions, 1955, 1990), p. 172-173
43. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 2, Part One, 3.199
44. Ibid, Vol. 15, Part 1, Chapters 1-5
45. Frydman, op.cit.
46. Shri Atmananda, op.cit., reference misplaced
47. Brunton, op. cit.
48. Peers, op. cit., The Ascent of Mount Carmel, 22:19
49. Berthold Madhukar Thompson, The Odyssey of Enlightenment (Wisdom Editions, 2002), p. 163-164
50. Frydman, op. cit., p. 359
51. Brunton, op.cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 3.71
52. Robert Edmunson/Hal Helms, trans and ed.,The Complete Fenelon (Brewster, Massachusetts: Paraclete Press, 2008)
53. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
54. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 12, Part 2, 3.3
55. Ramiere, op. cit., SpiritualCounsels
56. T.T. Carter, compiled with an introduction, Spiritual Guidance, The Substance of Two Or Three of Guillore’s Books (London: Rivingtons, 1873), p. 54-57,151
57. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
58. Frydman, op. cit., p. 299
59. Ibid, p. 298-299
60. Sena, op. cit., p. 97-98
61. Frydman, op. cit., p. 191
62. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 13, Part 2,, 3.280
63. Internet post
64. Kirpal Singh, Sat Sandesh, August, 1975
65. Swami Muktananda, Play of Consciousness, SYDA Foundation, 1978, p. 72-94
66. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 4.33, 35, 46, 213
67. Frydman, op. cit., reference misplaced
68. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 16, Part 2, 1.130
69. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
70. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., The Dark Night of the Soul
71. Carter, op. cit., Book Four: On Progress in Holiness
72. Brunton, op.cit., Vol. 14, 8.16
73. Frydman, op. cit., p. 277-278
74. Spiritual Progress, op.cit., p. 128-129
75. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit
76. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 12, Part 2, 4.5
77. Ibid, 4.12
78. Ibid, 4.34
79. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., The Living Flame of Love, 1.23
80. Ibid, 1.19-20
81. Peers, op.cit., Dark Night of the Soul (Garden City, New York: Image/Doubleday, 1959), p. 145-146, 97
82. Frydman, op. cit., p. 497
83. Babuji Maharaj , Notes of Discourses, Radha Soami Satsang, Agra, 1947), p. 80, 117
84. Sri Aurobindo, Letters on Yoga, Volume II (Pondicherry: Sri Aurobindo Ashram, 1983), p. 1423-1427
85. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 3.13, 3.43, 3.59
86. Dane Rudhyar, Triptych (Netherlands: Servire-Wassenarr, 1968), “The Uranus Station”
87. Tweedie, op. cit.,
88. “The unique style of the Naqshbandi Sufi Order is to give spiritual transmission (Tasawwuf) at the centre of the heart. Also, they used to adopt different methods to suit different disciples. For example, Raghubar Dayal ji (Bhai Sahib's father and Lalaji's brother) thought that some of his disciples should cry as a spiritual practice. Then people came to Lalaji and complained about what kind of spiritual practices he was giving to his disciples. It is not a spiritual practice, they said. When Lalaji took up this matter with his brother, his brother said, "These people have hearts of stone, before I can give them any real spiritual practice, they must first learn to melt their hearts. That's why I gave them this practice of crying.” So the saints have their own reasons for giving certain practices to help a person develop, but the ultimate practice for the advanced disciples of Lalaji was Surat Shbad Yoga. By the way, the Guru of Bhai Sahib was Maulana Abdul Gani Khan Sahab (who was a spiritual brother of Lalaji). The Master of both Lalaji and Maulana Abdul Gani Khan Sahab was Ahmad Ali Khan. Ahmad Ali Khan authorized Lalaji in 1896 and in 1897 he also authorized Maulana Abdul Gani Khan Sahab. They were the only two disciples who received full authorization from Ahmad Ali Khan. The Sant Mat influence seems to have come only from Lalaji's side and not from Maulana Abdul Gani Khan Sahab who was the Master of both Bhai Sahib and Brij Mohan Lal (the brother of Bhai Sahib). This is probably the reason why Bhai Sahib did not teach Surat Shabd Yoga, but gave spiritual transmission to the heart centre of his disciples (to the five sub-centres of the heart). The five sub-centres of the heart is only mentioned by the Naqshbandi Sufi Order.
89. Brunton, op. cit., reference misplaced
90. T. Craig Isaacs, John’s Apocalypse (Eugene, Oregon: Cascade Books, 2016), p. 82-83
91. Darshan Singh, Spiritual Awakening, op. cit., p. 191-192, 221-222, 231-232, 234, 307
92. Spiritual Progress, op.cit., Spiritual Counsels, Fourth Book, Letter XII
93. Ibid, Letter XVIII, XII
94. Ibid, Letter X
95. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 16, Part 1, 5.160
96. Markides, op. cit., p. 289-290
97. Guyon, Spiritual Torrents, op. cit., p. 92
98. Ramaji, op. cit., p. 55, 39
99. Brunton, op.cit., Vol. 15, Part One, 3.59
100. Ibid, Vol. 6, Part 1, 1.127
SCRUBBING
101. Frydman, op.cit., p. 354
102. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
103. Frydman, op.cit., p. 372-374
104. Kavanaugh/Rodriguez, op. cit., The Dark Night of the Soul, Bk 2, Ch 16, 10
105. Ibid, The Living Flame of Love, Stanza 2, 27
106. Peers, op.cit., Book Two, Chapter 5, Verse 6; Chapter 6, Verse 6
107. Sawan Singh, The Dawn of Light
108. Darshan Singh, op. cit., p. 234
109. Peers, op. cit., p. 145-146
110. Sri Aurobindo, The Secret of the Veda (Pondicherry, India: Sri Aurobindo Ashram Trust, 1956, 1998), p. 94-95
111. anadi (Aadi), book of enlightenment (www.anadi teaching.org, 2011), p. 94-95
112. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 6, Part 1, 4.87
113. Ibid, Vol. 9, Part 1, 1.357
114. Damiani, Living Wisdom, op. cit., p. 69
115. Brunton, op.cit., Vol. 12, Part 2, 2.143
116. Guyon, Experiencing the Depths of Jesus Christ, op. cit., p. 64
117. Ramiere, op.cit., Spiritual Counsels
118. Ibid
119. SpiritualProgress, op. cit.
120. Fenelon, The Seeking Heart (Christian Book Publishing House, 1992), p. 11
121. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 4.46
122. Guyon, op. cit., p. p. 91, 130-131
123. Ibid, p. 125
124. Mariana Caplan, The Guru Question (Boulder, Colorado: Sounds True, Inc., 2011), p. 312-313
125. Damiani, Looking Into Mind, op. cit., p. 134-135)
126. Godman, The Power of the Presence, Part One, op. cit., p. 24
127. Robert S. deRopp, Warrior’s Way (New York: Dell Publishing Company, 1970), p. 236-237
128. reference misplaced
129. Vitvan, The Seven Initiations (Baker, Nevada: The School of the Natural Order, 2011), p. 66-75
130. Brunton, op. cit. reference misplaced
131. Frydman, op. cit., p. 399
132. Kirpal Singh, Morning Talks, op. cit., p. 95:
133. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 13, Part 1, 3.61
134. "The Cage of the Soul", Sat Sandesh, September 1976, p. 25-26
135. "Joyfully I Surrender", Sat Sandesh, Feb. 1972, p. 9
136. Sat Sandesh, Sept. 1973
137. Molinos, op. cit., p. 35, 33, 34
138. Tweedie, op.cit., p. 633, 475
139. Frydman, op. cit.
140. Shri Sadguru Siddharameshwar MaharaI, Master of Self- Realization (Sadguru Publishing, 2009), p. 75
141. reference misplaced
142. Tulku Thondop, Peaceful Death, Joyful Rebirth, p. 163-165
143. anadi (Aadi), op. cit.
144. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 3, Part One, 3.118, 120, 132
145. Edmunson/Helms, The Complete Fenelon, op. cit., , The Royal Way of the Cross
146. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
147. Asvaghosa, Fifty Verses of Guru Devotion (Dharamsala: Library of Tibetan Works and Archives, 1976), p. 29
148. "Step by Step to the Temple of Total Ruin: Lessons from Milarepa" (https://www.mountainrunnerdoc.citymaker.com/articles/article/2291157/159374.htm)
149. Patrul Rinpoche, Words of My Perfect Teacher (Boston: Shambhala, 1998), p. 157-159
150. The Talks of Sadguru Upasani Baba Maharaj, Vol. 1, Part II, p. 92-93
151. Kavanaugh/Rodriguez, op. cit., The Dark Night of the Soul, p. 386-387)
152. Tweedie, op. cit., p. 144, 558, 576, 237, 137, 484
153. Ibid, p. 551-552
154. Father Albert J. Hebert, Saints Who Raised the Dead (Charlotte, North Carolina: TAN Books, 1986/2012), p. 170-171
155. Fenelon, The Seeking Heart, op. cit., p. 42-43
156. Tweedie, op. cit, p. 445
157. Kabir Helminski, trans., The Pocket Rumi Reader, (Boston: Shambhala, 2004), Mathnawi
158. Norman Waddell, trans., Wild Ivy (Boston: Shambhala, 1999), p. 75-97
159. Sawan Singh, The Philosophy of the Masters, Series Two
160. Iyer, op. cit.
161. J. C. Cleary and Thomas Cleary, trans., Zen Letters (Boston: Shambhala, 1994), p. 28
162. Kusan Sunim, The Way of Korean Zen (Boston: Weatherhill/Shambhala, 1985), p. 118
163. Ibid, p. 99-100
164. Sri Siddharameshwar, Amrut Laya, The Stateless State, op. cit., p. 57
165. reference misplaced
166. anadi (Aadi), op. cit., Ibid, p. 156-158
167. Hawkins, op. cit., p. 141
168. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 2, 4.75
169. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels, p. 264
170. Brunton, op. cit., Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 8.59
171. Jose Ignacio Cabezon, trans., A Dose of Emptiness: An Annotated Translation of the sTong thun chen mo of mKhas grub dge legs dpal bzang (Shakti Nagar, India: Sri Satguru Publications, 1993), p. 24, 96-96, 112-113, 400
172. Garma C.C. Chang, The Practise of Zen (New York: Harper & Row, Publishers, Inc., 1959 (1970), p. 162-163
173. Michael Hall, http://www.waybeyondpsychotherapy.com/, "The Curse of Awakening”
174. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 3, Part 1, 2:101
175. Edward Salim Michael, The Law of Attention (Rochester, Vermont: Inner Traditions, 2010), p. 22-234
176. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 5.100
177. Ibid, 3.22-24, 3.58, 3.59
178. Internet post, source misplaced
179. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 3.22-59
180. David Carse, Perfect Brilliant Stillness: Beyond the Individual Self (Shelburne, VT: Paragate Publishing, 2006), p. 11
181. Ramaji, op. cit., p. 511-512
182. Guillore, op. cit., p. 260-267
183. Nikhilinanda, op. cit., p. 1019
184. Adyashanti, The Way of Liberation (Open Gate Sangha, 2013), p. xii, 30, 26
185. Aziz Kristof (Aadi), Transmission of Awakening, op. cit., p. 142, 222
186. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 16, Part 2, 4.248
187. Ibid, Vol. Vol. 9, Part 1, 180-187
188. anadi (Aadi), book of enlightenment, op. cit., p. 156-158
189. Internet post, source misplaced
190. Sawan Singh, op. cit.
191. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 3, Part 1, 5:40
192. Ibid, 5:61
193. Frydman, op. cit., p. 310
194. reference misplaced
195. MacKenna, op. cit., 6.4
196. Kirpal Singh, Sat Sandesh, August 1972, p. 12
197. Kirpal Singh, Sat Sandesh, Feb. 1976
198. Kirpal Singh, Heart to Heart Talks, Part One, op. cit., p. 130
199. Ibid, p. 248-249
200. Ibid, p. 170
201. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 9, Part 2, 2.213)
202. Kirpal Singh, Sat Sandesh, Dec. 1975, p. 13
203. Professor Laxmi Narain, ed., Face to Face with Sri Ramana Maharshi (Hyderabad: Sri Ramana Kendram, 2007), p. 291
204. Damiani, Standing In Your Own Way, op. cit., p. 205-206
205. Frydman, op. cit., p. 285
206. Ibid, p. 278
207. Ibid
208. Ibid, p. 296
209. Ramana Maharshi, op. cit., Talks, p. 471)
210. Guyon, Spiritual Torrents, op. cit., p.59-60
211. Fred Davis, Beyond Recovery: Non-Duality and the Twelve Steps, 2014, p. 133
212. Hawkins, Transcending the Levels of Consciousness, op. cit., p. 55
213. Hawkins, Devotional Non-Duality, op. cit., p. 70
214. Tara Brach, Radical Acceptance (Bantam, 2004), p. 108
215. reference misplaced
216. Jean-Pierre deCaussade, Self-Abandonment to Divine Providence (Glascow, England: Collins, 1974
217. Daniel Ladinsky, The Subject Tonight Is Love (Penguin, 2003), 1996
218. See “Ignorance” and ”Don’t Expect to Know” at http://www.mountainrunnerdoc.com/page/page/5326771.htm and http://www.mountainrunnerdoc.com/dontexpecttoknow.html
219. Coleman Barks, The Essential Rumi (HarperOne, 2004)
220. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 15,Part 1, Chapter 5
221. Ramiere, op.cit., Spiritual Counsels, Book Seven, Letter XIV
222. Spiritual Progress, op. cit., Spiritual Letters
TWO SPRITES
223. Fenelon, The Seeking Heart, op. cit., p. 46
224. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 6, 8:4.167
225. Damiani, op. cit., p. 14-15
226. Swami Ranganatahananda, The Message of Vivekachudamani (Kolkata, India: Advaita Ashram, 2008), p. 320-321
227. David Boadella, Lifestreams: An Introduction to Biosynthesis, (New York: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1987), p. 166
228. Ramana Maharshi, op. cit
229. Hubert Benoit, op. cit., p. 17
230. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 2, 5.44
231. Ishwar Puri, Internet post, source misplaced
232. Brunton, op. cit., Vol 12, Part Two, 4.98,4.104
233. Shri Sadguru Siddharameshwar Maharaj, Master of Self-Realization op. cit., p. 149, 353-357
234. Godman, op. cit., p. 133
235. Alan Cohen, Dare To Be Yourself (New York: Ballantine Books, 1991), p. 106
236. Tenzin Gyatso, Kindness, Clarity, and Light (Snow Lion, 2013)
237. Cohen, op. cit., p. 192-193
238. Ibid, p. 327, 301
239. Brunton, op.cit., Vol. 16, Part 1, 5.154
240. Ibid, Vol. 16, Part 1, 5
241. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 11, Chapter 6, 3, 13, 15, 28
242. Carl Sagan, Cosmos (Random House, 1983)
243. Brunton, op. cit., 4.111
244. Thomas Kuhn, The Structure of Scientific Revolutions (University of Chicago Press, 2012), p. p.101, 108
245. In the line descending from Sant Kirpal Singh this has always been said to be one of the major criteria for distinguishing the genuineness of a Master: that he could take responsibility for one's storehouse (sanchit) karmas and also give a contact or initial experience of inner light and sound; in other lineages within Sant Mat this promise is not always given:
"If some competent person does not take pity on us and unload some of our karmic burden and pull us out of the senses by giving a boost to rise up, then how will we get started on the true path? One Master puts it this way: What attributes has the Guru of the world, if he removes not the karmas? Why take a lion's protection if the jackals continue to threaten? Through the Guru's mercy one rises above the body and sees that one's true self is not the body but is the controller of the body. Only then is one on the way to God-realization." (Kirpal Singh, Sat Sandesh, October 1972)
"You see, concentration can be done only when you have something to concentrate upon. When you close your eyes, if you have nothing to see - nothing to stand on - you've got darkness before you. So there you will stay, like a child in a dark room with the door closed...But if he sees something attractive, enchanting, then he will not cry. So there must be something to stand on." (Heart to Heart Talks, Part One, p. 41-42).
This message is often confusing, with the aspirant expecting the granting of a permanent boost to being establishment at the ajna chakra, rather than the temporary boost at initiation to show that there is something to strive for. This must be clear, or there is disappointment. Until one is so concentrated, however, he can only repeat simran or the mantra until such time as he does see the light, which he then can concentrate on. Similarly with sound - if there is no sound one cannot yet, technically speaking, do surat shabd yoga! And in some branches of Sant Mat it is plainly stated that one first does simran until he gets dhyan/light, and only subsequently the sound. But in the Kirpal lineage both light and sound were promised at initiation, and usually, at least in the past, the initiate did see light and hear some sound thereafter. But now, apparently not always, with sometimes a long wait, and so there is grumbling among new initiates. Many rightly may ask, is this distinction between lineages still valid? And a few might ask - perhaps based on what they have read in this book (!) - is it really of crucial importance? I cannot answer that. On this path there is also the issue of karmic liquidation to consider. Some of the Masters of Sant Mat speak frequently on this topic. It is said to be part of their job description to 'wind up' one's karmas in the way they feel best. This may even entail years of little inner experience, and/or suffering, with much however going on beneath the surface. It all depends. Some Masters do not claim to take on a disciple's karmas. But some may take heart that even Sant Darshan Singh's beloved wife, near her time of death, remarked that she was once again hearing the same sound of bells that Kirpal had revealed to her sixty years ago privately while in a garden. So one must wonder what her day to day experience was for all those long years, as far as the sound was concerned. She was certainly no stranger to inner vision.
246. Sawan Singh, reference misplaced
247. Soamiji, op. cit.
248. Molinos, op. cit.
249. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels
250. Kavanaugh/Rodriguez,op. cit.
251. edition unknown
252. Nikhilinanda, op. cit.,, p. 905
253. Barks, op. cit.
254. Iyer, op. cit.
255. Kirpal Singh, Godman, op. cit., p. 113
256. Darshan Singh, Spiritual Awakening, op. cit., p. 180
257. Ram Das, internet, reference misplaced
258. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 16, Part 1, 4.9
259. Sat Sandesh, April, 1974
260. Kirpal Singh, Morning Talks, op. cit.
261. T. T. Carter, op. cit., p. 149-150
262. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., The Dark Night of the Soul, p. 450, 436
263. Ibid, p. 436-437
264. Brunton, op. cit., Vol.15, Part 2, 4.121, 4.219
265. Ibid, 4.212
266. Kirpal Singh, Spiritual Elixer, p. 309
267. Ramiere, op. cit., Spiritual Counsels Fourth Book, Letter IX
268. Ibid, Book XII
269. Ibid, Book XII
270. Shri Siddharameshwar, Master of Self-Realization, op. cit., p. 345
271. Norman Angell, , op. cit.
272. Adyashanti, The Impact of Awakening (Open Gate Sangha, 2013)
273. Swami Ramananda Saraswathi , op.cit.
274. Centner, op. cit.
275. Richard Rohr, Falling Upward: A Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life (Jossey Bass, 2011), p. 147
276. Venkatesananda, op. cit., p. 30
277. from Wikepedia
278. Frydman, op. cit., p. 478
279. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 16, Part 1, 3.60, 3.62
280. Ibid, Vol. 15, Part 2, 4.65
281. Markides, Homage to the Sun, ob.cit., p. 25
282. Roberts, op. cit., p. 91-92
ON SUICIDE AND THE SPIRITUAL QUEST
283. Tweedie, Chasm of Fire (Element Books, 1993), p. 76, 88 89, 97, 100
284. Irena Tweedie, Daughter of Fire, op. cit., p. 776
285. Ibid, p. 731-732
286. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 12, Part Two, 4.8
287. Paul Vereshack, M.D., internet post, from The Primal Therapy Page
288. Peers, op. cit., p.
289. Paul Brunton, Essays on the Quest (York Beach, Maine:Samuel Weiser, Inc., 1985), p. 197
290. Darshan Singh, Streams of Nectar, op.cit., p. 407-408
291. Brunton, The Notebooks of Paul Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 6, Part 2, 3.347
292. Barks, op. cit.
293. Brunton, op. cit., reference misplaced
294. reference misplaced
295. Frydman, op. cit., p. 373
296. anadi (Aadi), op. cit., p. 45, 36
297. John J. Prenderegast, Peter Fenner, Sheila Krystal, ed., The Sacred Mirror: Nondual Wisdom and Psychotherapy (St. Paul, Minnesota: Paragon House, 2003), p.7
298. Jeff Brown, Soulshaping (Toronto, Canada: Pipek Press, 2007), p. 48, 39, 175, 176, 127
299. Ibid, p. 74
300. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 12, Part Two, 5.119, 5.42
301. Frank Lake, Clinical Theology (1966) p. 595-6, quoted in "Kierkegaard, Sickness Unto Death" 150-1
302. Ramaji, op. cit., p. 166-167
303. Internet post
304. Alice Miller, Reclaiming Your Life (New York, NY: Penguin Books, 1996), p. 105
305. Richard Moss, The Mandala of Being (New World Library, Novato, California, 2007), p. 202-204
306. Aadi, op. cit., p. 187-188
307. Brunton, op. cit. Vol. 2, 5.419
308. Iyer, op. cit.
309. Wing-tsit Chan, trans., The Platform Scripture (New York: St. John's University Press, 1963), p. 49
310. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 2, 3.33
311. Ibid, Vol. 2, 1.209
312. Aadi, op. cit., p. 194, 16, 6
313. Ram Das, op. cit.
314. Kirpal Singh, Morning Talks, op. cit., p. 23-24, 26 315. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 16, Part 1, 5.28
316. Ibid, Vol. 6, Part 2, 1.161, 162, 172
317. Alexander, op. cit., p. 544
318. Amy Schmidt, Dipa Ma: The Life and Legacy of a Buddhist Master (New York: Blue Bridge, 2005), p. 143-144
319. See "The Idea of Man" https://www.mountainrunnerdoc.citymaker.com/the_idea_of_man.html
320. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 6, 8:2.29
321. Kyriacos Markides, The Magus of Strovolos, op. cit., p. 160
322. Paramahansa Yogananda, The Second Coming of Christ, Vol. 1 (Self-Realization Fellowship, 2004), p. 398
323. Shri Siddharameshwar, Amrut Laya, op. cit.
324. https://www.hinduismtoday.com/hindu-basics/karma-and-reincarnation/
325. Sawan Singh, notes from 1943, source unknown
326. “Samskara is the deep impression left behind by that which was done. Karma gives rise to samskaras and samskaras induce karma. Thus karma and samskaras depend upon each other for their very existence. This is impossible. Therefore, karma and samskaras are both a misnomer, and the perceiver or ‘I’ alone is the Reality.” - Shri Atmananda (Notes, #575) This is hopeful if one could realize it.
327. Shri Atmananda, op. cit., #1260
328. David Spangler, Apprentice to Spirit (New York: Riverhead Books, 2011), p. 123-124
329. Iyer, op. cit.
330. Yogi Ramacharaka, Advanced Course in Yogi Philosophy and Oriental Occultism (Chicago, Illinois: The Yogi Publication Society, 1904/1931), p. 16-17, 73
331. James Swartz, Your Soul's Gift (Whispering Pines Press, www.yoursoulsplan.com, 2012), p. 413
332. from www.sttherese.com
333. Thomas Merton, reference misplaced
334. Schwartz, op. cit., p. 415
335. Mariana Caplan, op. cit., p. 199
336. Narain, op. cit., p. 311
337. Frydman, op. cit., p. 278
338. Ibid, p. 465
339. Ibid, p. 471
340. Damiani, Living Wisdom, op. cit., p. 243-244
341. Iyer, op. cit.
342. Ramaji, op. cit., p. 166-167
343. Eliot Jay Rosen, Experiencing the Soul (Carlsbad, CA: Hay House, 1998), p. 70
344. Swartz, op. cit., p. 403-405
345. Ibid, p. 428-429
346. Jane Roberts, Seth Speaks: The Eternal Validity of the Soul (Co-published by: San Rafael, CA: Amber-Allen Publishing and Novato, CA: New World Library, 1972/1994), p. 159-160
347. Swartz, op. cit., p.209
348. Shrimad Bhagavatam II.36.37
349. Pamela Kribe, The Jeshua Channelings (www.jeshua.net/book, 2008), p. 210-211
350. H.A. Giles, trans., The Travels of Fa-hsien (London: Routledge & Kegan Paul, 1956), p. 52-53
351. Tulku Thondup, Masters of Meditation and Miracles: Lives of the Great Buddhist Masters of India and Tibet (Boston: Shambhala, 1999), p. 277
352. See “Into the Jaws of Yama, Lord of Death” by Karma Lekshe Tsomo, p. 139 for other instances of religious suicide (the self-immolation of Vietnamese monks in protest of the war), and related issues.
353. Patrul Rinpoche, op. cit., p. 129
354. Ibid, p. 283
355. Ibid, p. 260
356. Brunton, op. cit., reference misplaced
357. Bonder, op. cit., p. 78-79
358. from a seminar introduction
359. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 12, 4.8, 5.239
360. Frydman, op. cit., p. 457
361. Ibid, p. 288
362. Ibid, p. 480, 266
363. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., p. 439
364. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 12, Part 2, 3.3
365. Ibid, Vol. 14, 8.84
366. Wigg/Narendra, op. cit., p. 113-115
367. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., Spiritual Canticle, Stanza four, verses 4-6
368. Kirpal Singh, Heart To Heart Talks, op. cit.,p. 64-65 369. Shri Atmananda, op. cit., #185
370. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 11, 6.51, 56
371. Ibid, 14.94
372. Ibid, 14.90
373. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., The Dark Night of the Soul, p. 396-397
374. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 14, 8.99
375. Ibid, 8.109
376. Ibid, 8.170
377. Ibid, Vol. 16, Part 1, 2.79, 2.84-85
RAIN
378. Portrait of Perfection: A Pictorial Biography of Kirpal Singh (Bowling Green,VA: Sawan Kirpal Publications, 1981) p. 1
379. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 12, Part 2, 5.42
380. Ibid, 5.283, 303
381. Kirpal Singh, unpublished talk
382. Reference misplaced
383. Reference misplaced; likely The Gospel of Sri Ramakrishna, op. cit.
384. Sat Sandesh, July 1975, p. 27
385. Internet blog, reference misplaced
386. Archimandrate Sophrony, We Shall See Him As He Is, (Platina, CA: St.Herman of Alaska Brotherhood, 2012), p. 162
387. Sawan Singh, Philosophy of the Masters, Series Two, op. cit.
388. Samyutta Nikaya, Part II, XV3
389. Paramhansa Yogananda, Journey to Self-Realization, op. cit.
390. Alexander, op. cit.
391. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., The Dark Night of the Soul
392. Shri Atmananda, op. cit., #622
393. Brunton, op.cit., Vol. 12, Part 2, 3.12, 5.42, 5.283, 5.122; Vol. 14, 7.130; Vol. 16, Part 3, 12.72; Vol. 12, Part 2, 2.11; The Wisdom of the Overself, Second revised edition,1984, p. 429
394. Aziz Kristof (Aadi), Transmission of Awakening, op. cit., p. 116, 140
395. Lakshmana Swami, Living by the Words of Bhagavan
396. Kavanough/Rodriguez, op. cit., St. John of the Cross, Spiritual Canticle, Stanza 10:6
397. Brunton, op.cit., Vol. 15, Part 1, 3.71
398. Darshan Singh, Spiritual Awakening, op cit, p. 186-187, 307
399. Brunton, op. cit., Vol.6, 8:1.127
400. Kirpal Singh, Morning Talks, op. cit., p. 31-32
401. Coleman Barks et. al.,The Illuminated Hafiz (Boulder, CO: Sounds True, 2012), p. 113
402. Sawan Singh, op.cit.
403. Waddell, The Essential Teachings of Zen Master Hakuin, op. cit., p. 33
404. Norman Waddell, trans., The Unborn: The Life and Teachings of Zen Master Bankei 1622-1693 (San Francisco, CA: North Point Press, 1984), book jacket
405. Sawan Singh, op. cit.
406. Ibid
407. SundayGuardianLive, June 2020
408. Ramana Maharshi, op. cit., p. 281
409. Shri Atmananda, op. cit., #’s 583, 690, 401
410. An Athonite Gerontikon (Holy Monastery of St. Gregory Palamas, 2003), p. 365
411. Kirpal Singh, The Ocean of Divine Grace, op. cit., p. 141
412. Abbot Zenkei Shibayama, op. cit., p. 137-138
413. Kyriakos Markides, Gifts of the Desert (Doubleday, 2005), p. 73-74
414. Narain, op. cit., p. 254
415. V.P. Rajiv, Kerala, Mysteries of Tears, internet post
416. Shri Atmananda, op. cit., #971
417. An Athonite Gerontikon, op. cit., p. 366
418. Ramana Maharshi, op. cit., reference misplaced
419. Nikhilinanda, op. cit., reference misplaced
420. Kirpal Singh, The Night is a Jungle (Ruhani Satsang Books, 1984), p. 33
421. Cleve Backster, East-West Journal, April 1973
422. Kirpal Singh, Morning Talks, op. cit., p. 21-22
423. Kirpal SIngh, Life and Death, “The Wheel of Life”, p. 64,66
424. Ramana Maharshi, op. cit., p. 17
425. Kirpal Singh, op. cit., p. 66-67
426. Ibid, p. 67
427. Ibid
428. The Wheel of Life in Life and Death, p. 70; also see Darshan Singh, Spiritual Awakening. p. 152-153
429. Sawan Singh, Spiritual Gems (Radha Soami Satsang Beas, 2004)
430. Joan Carroll Cruz, Mysteries, Marvels, Miracles in the Lives f the Saints (Rockford, Illinois: TAN Books, 1997), p. 341
431. Dr. Gopal Singh, A History of the Sikh People (Sikh World Press University, Delhi), The Bhai Mani Singh, Gyan Ratnavali, ANG. 123
432. Max Arthur Macauliffe, The Sikh Religion, Volume II
433. Sabbar Singh Khalsa, “Can Sikhs Eat Meat?” https://www.sikhnet.com/news/can-sikhs-eat-meat
434. Ibid
435. Vachitra Natak, Chapter 8, Chaupai 1-3
436. Adi Granth, Var 26 Pauri 24
437. Darya Lal Kapur, Call of the Great Master (Radhasoami Satsang Beas, 1964
438. Dr. HS Singha & Satwant Kaur, Sikhism, A Complete Introduction (Hemkunt Press)
439. Dr. I.J. Singh, Sikhs and Sikhism: A View with a Bias (Manohar, 1997); available as a free download from scribd.com
440. Sabbar Singh Khalsa, internet post
441. I.J. Singh, op. cit.
442. Hebert, op. cit., p. 127-128
443. Brunton, op. cit., Vol. 2, 3.277
444. Ibid, 5. 218, 198
445. Ibid, 5.267
446. Ibid, 6.132
447. Frydman, op. cit., p. 137, 149
448. Brunton. op. cit., Vol. 2, 6.816
449. Ibid, 6.499
450. Ibid, 6.590
451. Sri Siddharameshwar, Master of Self-Realization, op. cit., p. 313
452. Brunton, op. cit., 3.199
453. Ibid, 3.97
